Ocean's 11-Overboard

OCEAN'S ELEVEN (2001)--Directed by Steven Soderbergh. Stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Andy Garcia, Matt Damon. THE CANNONBALL RUN of the 2000's, as Hollywood's biggest stars screw around having a lark in the world's most expensive home movie. As in the original, ex-con Danny Ocean (Clooney) recruits ten others to participate in a daring heist: the robbery of $160 million from three casinos simultaneously, all owned by sinister Terry Benedict (Garcia), who just happens to be dating Danny's ex-wife Tess (Roberts). The crime community appears to consist of an interesting subculture of charming con artists skilled in any number of handy impersonations and able to glibly think on their feet no matter the situation or monkey wrench. Ted Griffin's screenplay really isn't all that tight; whenever he's written himself into a corner, he just pulls out a deux es machina such as a super-duper pulse generator that conveniently knocks out all the electrical power in Las Vegas. There is fun to be had in OCEAN'S ELEVEN, mainly from watching the stars wear nice clothes and banter with each other. Clooney and Roberts surprisingly have little chemistry; in fact, I didn't get the vibe that any of the actors even knew one another, much less were pals. Soderbergh keeps the pace chugging right along, the production design sparkles, and David Holmes' swinging score evokes the swanky cool of the Rat Pack original. Just don't expect to remember anything about this film a week later. Also with an unbilled Don Cheadle, Elliott Gould, Carl Reiner, Scott Caan, Casey Affleck and Bernie Mac. Original OCEANers Henry Silva and Angie Dickinson have cameos if you don't blink.

OCEAN'S TWELVE (2004)--Directed by Steven Soderbergh. Stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Andy Garcia, Matt Damon, Vincent Cassel. If you liked the 2001 original, you might like the sequel, as it delivers more of the same preposterous thrills using the same glossy cast. Terry Benedict (Garcia), pissed off about the $160 million Danny Ocean's (Clooney) gang stole from his casino in the first film, gives them three weeks to repay the debt or face potentially fatal consequences. Since the thieves have spent most of the loot, they have to pull off a trio of heists in Europe to earn the money. A thorn in Ocean's side is Francois Toulour (Cassel), a French thief trying to beat the Ocean gang to the robberies in order to steal the loot for himself, and a thorn in Rusty's (Pitt) side is beautiful Interpol agent Isabel (Zeta-Jones), an old flame looking to jail the gang out of spite. George Nolfi's sloppy screenplay doesn't care much about story logic or suspense, just about making the stars look as appealing as possible. A hint of snarky charm rears its head early on, as Clooney introduces himself to a mark as a wealthy Hispanic high-school basketball coach, but the cuteness grows tiring after awhile. TWELVE is harmless and empty, much like the first film, but even less filling. Also with Don Cheadle, Elliott Gould, Carl Reiner, Scott Caan, Casey Affleck, Bernie Mac, Albert Finney, Topher Grace and Bruce Willis. Score by David Holmes. Lensed in Holland, Italy and the Chicagoland area.

THE OCTAGON (1980)--Directed by Eric Karson. Stars Chuck Norris, Lee Van Cleef, Art Hindle, Karen Carlson. In just his fourth starring role, Norris plays Scott James, a martial arts superstar who retired from competition after seriously injuring an opponent. Now he just works out and hangs around the site of the latest big match with his karate pal A.J. (Hindle, who's got the feathered hair thing going big time). Trying to describe THE OCTAGON's plot is pretty tricky, since it doesn't make too much sense, and scripter Leigh Chapman (DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY) throws in too many scenes that have no purpose. For example, Hindle is having a conversation on the street with another competitor (played by a pre-GHOSTBUSTERS Ernie Hudson). He seems a bit distracted, and finally cuts off Hudson to dash across the street, presumably to meet or follow someone. We never find out whom. There's also a scene in a cocktail lounge that begins with nearly a minute of some drunk whining about having no peanuts. I presume the actor playing the drunk was related to one of the moviemakers, since the character, dialogue and scene itself serve no function whatsoever. Borscht Belt comic Jack Carter also appears in two scenes as some character--I'm not sure whom--trying to convince Norris to get back into the ring. Even though the scenes take place on different days, Carter is wearing the exact same outfit in both. It's possible some things were left on the cutting room floor, since Dann Cahn's editing is choppy all the way through.

There's much more going on in Karson's film, including a secret training base for ninja assassins run by Seikura in Central America; a crusty old mercenary with a hoop earring played by B-movie vet Van Cleef; and the "octagon" itself, which is never referred to by name and, despite giving the film its title, is never either explained or showcased very well by Karson. It's actually an impressive set--an eight-sided obstacle course filled with blade-wielding ninja who leap out of every corner and behind every barrier. Norris' climactic tangle in the octagon is the best scene in the movie, even if you hardly understand the plot to that point. It's possible Karson (OPPOSING FORCE) was aware of his story's pitfalls, since he in no way skimps on the action, throwing in several well-choreographed (by Chuck and his brother Aaron) karate battles along with a few explosions, a car chase, some bullets and even a burning man. Still, it's hard to take seriously an action film that tries to illustrate what's going through its hero's head by having Chuck dub his thoughts in a low whisper and playing them back with a laughable echo effect ("Seikura-ah-ah-ah...why-why-why-why? My brother-er-er-er-er.").

It isn't one of Norris' best films, but it's well paced, corny, contains a cool score by Richard Halligan (I'm so tired of the cheap synth scores that saturate TV and low-budget films today), and is a fun reminder of how drive-in flicks used to be. Also with Carol Bagdasarian ("sister" to Alvin, Theodore and Simon), Tadashi Yamashita, Richard Norton, Kim Lankford, an unbilled Tracey Walter, Brian Tochi, stunt coordinator Aaron Norris, and Chuck's son Mike as Chuck's father in a flashback. You also might notice big Brian Libby, who later turned up in a much larger role in Norris' SILENT RAGE. Paul Aaron, who receives story credit, was probably originally attached to direct, since he had just worked with Chuck on A FORCE OF ONE. Screenplay writer Chapman had an interesting career, combining acting as "The Girl" in '60s television shows like THE MONKEES and THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. with penning action-oriented scripts for MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and THE WILD, WILD WEST.

OCTAMAN (1971)--Directed by Harry Essex. Stars Kerwin Mathews, Jeff Morrow, Pier Angeli. Ridiculous horror film about a group of scientists who run afoul of a landlubbing octopus (with six arms) that walks around on two feet like a man in a rubber suit. Special effects whiz Rick Baker designed the monster costume, which is not representative of his later works. Angeli was making an acting comeback of sorts, which became short-lived when she died of a drug overdose shortly after filming. Director Essex wrote CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON.

OCTOPUS 2 is basically the same movie as SHARK ZONE, but slightly better. For one thing, it’s more fun to watch actors flailing about on a wooden dock, wrapping a rubber tentacle around themselves (see Bela Lugosi in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER), than it is to see blurry underwater footage of a shark. Also, Wein does a pretty good job of faking New York City on Bulgarian locations, and Nu Image shot quite a bit of second-unit in the Big Apple to complete the illusion. OCTOPUS 2 moves at a rapid pace, and it has lots of monster attacks to keep you awake. It runs out of story just before the end with an action climax that might make you think, “Isn’t this movie supposed to be about an octopus?”, but I liked the movie more than I expected to.

Harbor Patrol cops Nick (Burke) and Walter (Lehne) investigate mysterious killings that take place at the waterfront. Walter has only another week before he transfers to a safer desk job, so I’m sure you see where this is going. Nick comes to believe that the murders are being committed by a giant octopus, but, of course, nobody believes him, most of all the Mayor, who’s thinking only about the number of tourists expected to attend the upcoming July 4th celebration…at the waterfront. Nick teams up with the Mayor’s assistant, Rachel (Morton), to capture or kill the big beast. At first I thought Morton was cast because of her resemblance to actress Amy Brenneman, so Nu Image could use stock footage from DAYLIGHT at the climax. Well, it does use DAYLIGHT scenes, but none with the back of Brenneman’s head. I still think I might be right about Morton’s casting. Also with Clement Blake, Chris Williams, John Thaddeus and Paul Vincent O’Connor. OCTOPUS 2 has nothing to do with the original OCTOPUS, which is typical of Nu Image’s “monster line,” which also includes the CROCODILE and SHARK ATTACK series.

OCTOPUSSY (1983)--Directed by John Glen. Stars Roger Moore, Louis Jourdan, Maud Adams, Steven Berkoff, Kristina Wayborn, Vijay Armitraj. Routine James Bond film was Roger Moore's next-to-last. Agent 007 goes after an Afghan prince (Jourdan) and a Russian general (Berkoff) who plan to discredit the United States by exploding a nuclear bomb at an American Air Force base in Germany. Bond must also deal with a band of smugglers composed of beautiful women and led by Octopussy (Adams). The stunts and action scenes are good, but some of the humor is downright embarrassing; for instance, having 007 yell like Tarzan while swinging through some trees. Theme performed by Rita Coolidge. Was released the same year as Connery's return to the role in NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, which was the better film but didn't do as well at the box office. Lois Maxwell and Desmond Llewellyn return as Miss Moneypenny and Q, respectively.

THE ODD COUPLE (1968)--Directed by Gene Saks. Stars Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau. The most popular and successful of Neil Simon's creations. Everyone knows the story by now: finicky Felix Unger (Lemmon) is tossed out by his wife and moves into a New York apartment with his best friend, sloppy sportswriter Oscar Madison (Matthau). The two stars are perfectly cast, and, although Saks' direction is stagy, Simon's screenplay will keep you entertained. Also with Herb Edelman, John Fiedler and Carole Shelley and Monica Evans as the Pidgeon sisters.

OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN (1983)--Directed by George P. Cosmatos. Stars Peter Weller, Jennifer Dale, Lawrence Dane, Shannon Tweed. A pre-ROBOCOP Weller stars in this unusual Canadian thriller featuring a chilling battle between man and rat. You heard me. And not a giant rat either, or even a wild pack of rats. Just one man and one rat fighting over the same turf: the restored brownstone owned by an attorney named Bart (Peter Weller). Bart hopes to use the peace and quiet created by his wife and son's vacation to whip together an important transaction for his boss at the firm and earn himself a monster promotion. Instead of peace, Bart discovers only obsession as a ferocious rat begins systematically destroying the house. Over the course of 85 minutes, the cool, collected attorney turns into Gene Hackman in THE CONVERSATION, gutting the damn place in his quest to stomp a mudhole in that rat's ass. Directed by Cosmatos (RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II) with a surprising amount of tension and featuring the film debut of PLAYBOY Playmate and future Cinemax queen Shannon Tweed (who does indeed appear nude under the opening titles) as Weller's wife, OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN is better than you'd guess from the premise, delivering a marvelously thoughtful performance by Weller and a few genuinely creepy scares. It was filmed in Montreal, which substitutes nicely for Manhattan. Also with Maury Chaykin and Louis Del Grande.

OFF LIMITS (1988)—Directed by Christopher Crowe. Stars Gregory Hines, Willem Dafoe, Fred Ward, Amanda Pays. Although it was made at a time when buddy cop films (such as LETHAL WEAPON and Hines’ own RUNNING SCARED) were popular, this dark procedural is more interested in police work than bellylaughs, though it does contain some humor. In Saigon during the late 1960s, U.S. military policemen McGriff (Dafoe) and Perkins (Hines) investigate a tawdry case involving a serial killer who targets Asian prostitutes with babies. It’s a dirty job, which finds them in conflict with Vietnamese policemen, pursued by ruthless gunmen, and running up against their prime suspects: colonels who outrank them. Nobody else will touch the case, and McGriff and Perkins’ only help comes in the form of Sister Nicole (Pays), who helps raise the victims’ babies at an orphanage. Crowe does a nice job giving Thailand the sweaty, claustrophobic look and feel of Saigon, and the script’s heavy doses of sleaze and violence are perfectly at home there. Granted, you’ll solve the mystery more than an hour before Hines and Dafoe do, but Crowe and Jack Thibeau’s script is professional enough, given the effort of its solid actors. Ward provides color as the cops’ boss, and Scott Glenn checks in as a kinky suspect. Also with Keith David, David Alan Grier, Kay Tong Lim and Richard Brooks. Music by James Newton Howard. Crowe made only one other film, the laughable WHISPERS IN THE DARK, but found some success writing and producing for television (SEVEN DAYS).

OFFICE SPACE (1999)--Directed by Mike Judge. Stars Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, Stephen Root, Gary Cole. Judge, the creator of TVs BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD and KING OF THE HILL, directs and writes his first live-action feature, a sporadically amusing story of 9-to-5'ers working at a faceless computer-software corporation who become fed up with their insincere bosses, malfunctioning office equipment, bland cubicles and their dull day-to-day drone-like existence. Aniston (of TV's FRIENDS) surprisingly has little to do as a frustrated waitress at a chain restaurant hounded by her boss for not wearing enough flair on her uniform. Root (NEWSRADIO) registers as Milton, the muttering, enigmatic star of some animated shorts Judge made for SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, although the character gets too much screen time, and there isn't enough to Milton to be able to milk him throughout the length of a feature. The highlight is Cole (who was amazing channeling Robert Reed in the BRADY BUNCH features), who consistently hits the right note as the condescending, two-faced vice-president, who is never seen without his ubiquitous coffee mug (the movie's biggest laugh involves Cole in one of Livingston's nightmares). Music by John Frizzell. Also with Alexandra Wentworth and an unbilled cameo by Judge as Aniston's boss.

OH, GOD! (1977)--Directed by Carl Reiner. Stars George Burns, John Denver, Teri Garr. Burns is a total delight as the Supreme Being who chooses a mild-mannered supermarket manager (Denver) to be his messenger on Earth. Of course, not even befuddled wife Garr believes Denver for one moment, but the Almighty eventually proves himself in court. The real surprise is pop singer Denver in his film debut. He is totally believable and even charming on occasion. Clever screenplay by Larry Gelbart. Also with Donald Pleasence, Ralph Bellamy, Dinah Shore, Barnard Hughes, Barry Sullivan, Jeff Corey, Paul Sorvino, William Daniels and director Reiner as a judge.

OH, GOD! BOOK II (1980)--Directed by Gilbert Cates. Stars George Burns, Suzanne Pleshette, David Birney, Louanne. Burns is as funny and charming as ever in this inferior sequel, which is bogged down by TV-level direction and an awful performance by Louanne as a little girl chosen by God to spread his word. She comes up with a slogan, "Think God", which is accepted as clever by the rest of the world. Pleshette and Birney play her estranged parents. Also with Conrad Janis, Hans Conreid and Howard Duff.

OKIE NOODLING (2001)--Directed by Bradley Beesley. Just when you think you've seen every conceivable sport, Beesley comes along with this 57-minute documentary partially funded by public television. "Noodling" is the traditional regional art of fishing by hand. Beesley's camera captures several Oklahoma fishermen who eschew poles and bait for the thrill of grabbing 50-pound catfish. One does this by wading through the river for hours and poking your arm into holes dug into the bank. When a big catfish chomps on your hand, you grab it and wrestle it to the surface. It seems as though you'd have to be an idiot or a maniac to catch fish this way, but Beesley has obvious affection for the sport and the men who perform it. OKIE is too short to investigate its subject fully, but I'm not sure how much more there is to study. When you've seen one redneck grab a large ugly fish, you've seen them all, I reckon. An interesting hour.

OKLAHOMA! (1955)--Directed by Fred Zinnemann. Stars Gordon MacRae, Shirley Jones, Gene Nelson, Gloria Grahame. Even if you've seen this classic Rodgers and Hammerstein musical before, you probably haven't seen this version. OKLAHOMA! was originally released in CinemaScope in a 35mm version and in Todd-AO in 70mm, which means it was actually filmed twice using two different cameras. Therefore, different takes were used for each version, and it is the CinemaScope print that has been shown on television and videocassette over the years.

As usual for a musical, the plot is no great shakes--cowpokes Curly (Gordon MacRae) and Will (Gene Nelson) pursue the romantic charms of Laurey (19-year-old Shirley Jones in her film debut) and Ado Annie (Gloria Grahame), despite interference from sinister Jud Fry (Rod Steiger), in turn-of-the-century Oklahoma--but the songs, the production values and the stars make this a must-see for musical fans. MacRae is a great singer, and audiences who remember Jones primarily as the mom from THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY may be stunned to realize what a fresh-faced ingenue she was. The songs, written by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein for the 1948 Broadway play, are, of course, amazing, and even musical neophytes will recognize many of them: "Oh, What A Beautiful Mornin'", "People Will Say We're In Love" and the title song especially. I'm kinda partial to "Poar Jud Is Daid", sung by MacRae and Steiger, myself.

Director Zinnemann (FROM HERE TO ETERNITY) spent nine months on location in Nogales, Arizona on a shoot plagued by poor weather and production delays. Every cent of the $8 million-plus budget appears to be on screen, and Zinnemann even recruited Agnes de Mille, choreographer of the Broadway version, to stage the musical numbers. Look for many familiar faces in the supporting cast, including Eddie Albert, James Whitmore, Jay C. Flippen, Roy Barcroft (as a marshal, natch) and an uncredited Ben Johnson. Lead Nelson more or less abandoned his acting and dancing career after a back injury, and became a director, helming several movies and dozens of television shows, including HAWAII FIVE-0, STAR TREK, FANTASY ISLAND and THE ROOKIES.

Despite the ribald humor and flashes of nudity and un-PC material, OLD SCHOOL is actually rather tame, thankfully avoiding the shower of bodily fluid jokes we usually get in films of this type and nicely showcasing the disparate comic timing of its leads. While Wilson is his usual laidback self and Vaughn back to his SWINGERS persona, Farrell, a funny guy who previously was unable to sustain his sketch-comedy skills over the length of an entire feature (JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, for instance), really steals this movie, especially in a very funny streaking sequence. Much of the humor has already been done better elsewhere. An oral-sex demonstration swiped from FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, a K-Y jelly wrestling scene pilfered from STRIPES (which was directed by OLD SCHOOL executive producer Ivan Reitman), the entire plot lifted from ANIMAL HOUSE, and so on. I was sorry to see Piven wasted as the straight man (think how good he would have been in the Vince Vaughn role). Cuthbert's twinkly presence confirms my crush on this 24 star. OLD SCHOOL is good slob comedy, not great or even very good. But if you think naked white men look funny, you might like it. Also with Leah Remini, Ellen Pompeo, Craig Kilborn, Perrey Reeves, Juliette Lewis, Seann William Scott, Andy Dick, Artie Lange, Terry O'Quinn, Harve Presnell and James Carville.

OMEGA SYNDROME (1987)--Directed by Joseph Manduke. Stars Ken Wahl, George DiCenzo, Nicole Eggert, Doug McClure. Don't let the misleading title fool you into thinking this is a high-tech thriller or a SF movie. Nope, it's a New World action picture set in Los Angeles about a Vietnam veteran (Wahl) after his daughter's kidnappers. A white supremacist group called Omega snatches Wahl's 13-year-old daughter (a pre-BAYWATCH Eggert) in order to blackmail her physician grandfather into murdering a hospitalized member who plans to testify against them. The LAPD, in the form of snack-happy police lieutenant McClure (THE VIRGINIAN), seems in no great hurry to find Nicole, spurring Wahl to team up with crippled 'Nam buddy DiCenzo (HELTER SKELTER) and storm Omega's warehouse compound. Despite a couple of good stunts, OMEGA is short on action and suspense, and Manduke's stale directing betrays his television background; even the gun-shooting climax looks like a TV show. You could pass this one by and not feel you're missing much. Also with Xander Berkeley (24), Ron Kuhlman, Al White, Bill Morey and Colm Meaney.

ON DEADLY GROUND (1994)—Directed by Steven Seagal. Stars Steven Seagal, Michael Caine, Joan Chen. It’s not a good movie, but Seagal deserves some credit for integrating important environmental messages into a standard big-budget, major-studio action movie. Yes, it’s a very self-indulgent movie (Seagal’s name appears five times in the opening titles) that copies the silliest parts of BILLY JACK. The epilogue, in which Seagal spouts a nearly-four-minute monologue deprecating Big Business’ soiling of the environment and preaching the virtues of alternative energy, was highly jeered at the time, but dammit if he isn’t right. As Forrest Taft, ex-CIA spook turned oil firefighter, Seagal battles the one-dimensional villainy of greedy oil tycoon Dick Cheney…er…Michael Jennings (Caine), who commits sabotage and murder in order to ensure he gets his filthy refinery going before his lease runs out and the land reverts to its original owners, a local Eskimo tribe. Seagal accumulates a good cast (I don’t know why Caine made this movie, but it benefits from his junky performance) and handles the big setpieces fairly well. It’s a stupid, lunkheaded script that doesn’t make very much sense, and some of it attracts huge (unintentional) laughter, particularly a fight scene between Seagal and Mike Starr. Just four years later, THE PATRIOT became Seagal’s first feature to go directly to home video, where the increasingly prolific (though lazy) actor has mostly languished since. Also with John C. McGinley, R. Lee Ermey, Shari Shattuck, Richard Hamilton and Billy Bob Thornton. Music by Basil Poledouris.

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969)--Directed by Peter Hunt. Stars George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti, Julie Ege. After six turns as James Bond, Sean Connery finally said, "No more." Producers Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman turned to an unknown Australian model with no acting experience named George Lazenby to fill Connery's footsteps. His performance was universally blasted at the time of the film's initial release, but today, while he's no Connery...or Moore...or Brosnan--or even Dalton--Lazenby holds up okay. Archenemy Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Savalas) plans to unleash a deadly germ that will wipe out most life on the planet. 007 goes undercover in a Swiss chalet to stop him. Some great stunts and plot twists. The beautiful Rigg (THE AVENGERS) was probably the best of all the Bond heroines. One of the best Bond films would have been even better with Connery in the lead. The slight box-office performance of this film and a one-million-dollar salary led to Connery's return two years later in DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. Score by John Barry; Louis Armstrong sings "We Have All the Time in the World".

ON THE EDGE (2002)--Directed by Fred Williamson. Stars Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, Bernie Casey, Ron O'Neal, Gary Busey, Ice-T, Derrick Franklin. It's hard to ignore any movie with this cast, even though Busey appears to be in a haze, and Ice-T is somewhat wasted (in another sense) as a small-time dope dealer. Private eye Dakota Smith (a role Williamson played in three of his Po' Boy productions) steps in when a young basketball prospect (Franklin) becomes involved with drugs. A connection is suspected when Franklin's neighbors, the wife and teenage son of Dakota's childhood pal Rex (Casey), are gunned down with no explanation. The cops are little help in the ghetto, leading Fred, Bernie, Brown and O'Neal as Franklin's dad to arm themselves and put the smack down on assassin Busey. Williamson hasn't improved much as a director, but he manages to provide a slick performance, and you'll be happy to know that he's still performing nude sex scenes with young hotties. ON THE EDGE is pretty turgid, though, with only the cast to recommend it.

ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)--Directed by Elia Kazan. Stars Marlon Brando, Karl Malden, Eva Marie Saint, Lee J. Cobb, Rod Steiger. Many Oscars were bestowed upon this great film, including a Best Actor statue to Brando for one of his best performances. He's Terry Malloy, a dim longshoreman who tries to expose a corrupt union boss played by Cobb. Saint won an Academy Award in her film debut as Brando's love interest, and Malden (who was nominated) is terrific as a crusading priest. Other Oscars went for the direction, screenplay, editing, and cinematography. Greatest scene is Brando's "I coulda been a contender" speech in the back seat of Cobb's automobile. One of the best dramas of the '50s.

ONCE BITTEN (1985)--Directed by Howard Storm. Stars Jim Carrey, Lauren Hutton, Karen Kopins. I'm sure Carrey doesn't list this early effort on his resume. He plays a nerdy high-school virgin who is seduced by a sexy vampire (Hutton). A mostly stupid teen comedy, typical of the period, with an appearance by Cleavon Little as Hutton's gay sidekick. Kopins (who was cast in the aborted CHARLIE'S ANGELS '88 TV remake) is Carrey's sweet girlfriend.

ONCE UPON A SPY (1980)--Directed by Ivan Nagy. Stars Ted Danson, Christopher Lee, Mary Louise Weller, Eleanor Parker. From its silly opening credits, which attempt to imitate James Bond movies by filming silhouettes of nude women doing gymnastics on a futuristic set, to the cheesy climax in which Danson climbs a giant laser to deflect its deadly beam backwards into the villain's lair, this unsuccessful TV pilot suffers from campy "been-there-done-that"-itis. Computer nerd Jack Chenault (a pre-CHEERS Danson) is recruited by The Lady (Parker) for an undercover assignment involving a supercomputer that was stolen using a shrinking ray developed by scientific genius Marcus Valorium (Lee, who had just played the heavy in another Nagy TV-movie, CAPTAIN AMERICA II). Since reluctant hero Chenault has no training as a field agent, The Lady teams him with sexy "K-12" spy Paige Tannehill (Weller). A supposedly exciting climax that involves Danson guiding Weller through a giant maze as a pair of assassins stalks her is ruined by continuity errors (the maze never quite looks like the map), lapses in logic (how and why would Valorium construct something like this?) and budget (Weller is clearly wandering down the same stretch of corridor over and over). Danson, who had not done much of anything at this point, outside of a soap opera and a brief bit in THE ONION FIELD, is light leading-man material, but the teleplay by Jimmy Sangster (who wrote so many great Hammer horror films with Lee) lets him down. Also with Irena Farris, Leonard B. Stone and Terry Lester. John Cacavas' score attempts to ape John Barry.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1969)--Directed by Sergio Leone. Stars Henry Fonda, Charles Bronson, Jason Robards, Claudia Cardinale, Gabriele Ferzetti. One of the western genre's all-time greats is as much art film as action entertainment. Clocking in at 165 minutes (with only fifteen pages of dialogue), Leone's vision lies in his panoramic vistas (filmed in Spain and Utah's Monument Valley), Ennio Morricone's classic score (which contains themes for all four main characters) and the iconic performances by the cast.

WEST definitely moves at its own pace, but nearly every shot is lit and framed like a painting, ensuring that there's always something fascinating to look at, whether it's the natural phenomena of Leone's desert (painstakingly lensed by cinematographer Tonino Delli Colli) or Bronson's craggy visage in close-up. Leone also uses sound as well as any western ever has, cutting Morricone's score, which was recorded before principal photography began, to the rhythm of each scene. Paramount lavished Leone's largest budget to date on WEST, but cut twenty minutes from it, and released it on a double bill with THE GREEN SLIME, which should tell you how much they believed in Leone's vision. Fonda surprised many audiences with his portrayal of a completely amoral killer, while Bronson's ascension to international stardom received a major boost by a role that seems originally tailored for Clint Eastwood. Also with Frank Wolff, Jack Elam, Woody Strode, Al Mulock, Keenan Wynn, Lionel Stander and Frank Brana. Another western this good didn't come along until Eastwood's 1992 Oscar winner UNFORGIVEN, which was dedicated to Leone. Make sure you see this on the big screen if you can, although Paramount's DVD looks and sounds marvelous.

ONE CRAZY SUMMER (1986)--Directed by Savage Steve Holland. Stars John Cusack, Demi Moore, Curtis Armstrong, Joel Murray. In the summer following his high school graduation, aspiring cartoonist Hoops McCann (Cusack) travels with his buddy George (Murray) to the island Nantucket, where they team up with nitwit twins Egg and Clay Stork and Ack Ack (Armstrong), the mild-mannered son of a gung-ho Boy Scout leader, to prevent a greedy land developer from snaring property owned by Cassandra (Moore), a pretty cornrowed rock singer. As with Holland's earlier collaboration with Cusack, BETTER OFF DEAD..., style and quirky characterization is more important than the plot, which is just a clothesline for a series of sight gags and strange peripheral characters, such as George's uncle Frank, who spends every waking moment perched in front of his radio in hopes of winning a million-dollar call-in contest. Some of the jokes don't work, but enough do to keep you entertained, and Cusack keeps the sometimes far-out atmosphere as grounded as possible. Also with Tom Villard and Bobcat Goldthwait as the Stork twins, Joe Flaherty, William Hickey, Mark Metcalf, Billie Bird, John Matuszak, Jeremy Piven, Kimberly Foster, Rich Hall, Taylor Negron and Rich Little.

ONE DAY IN SEPTEMBER (2000)--Directed by Kevin Macdonald. Narrated by Michael Douglas. Macdonald's Oscar-winning documentary plays like a crisp thriller, detailing the events of September 5, 1972 when a group of eight Palestinian terrorists held the Israeli Olympic team hostage within the Olympic village in Munich during the Summer Games. The real-life drama played out all day and well into the night as audiences around the world, thanks to ABC's coverage, looked on with fear and suspense. Macdonald's biggest coup was landing an on-camera interview with Jamal al-Gashey, the only surviving terrorist, who has never before spoken publicly about the siege and has been in hiding ever since. Even more shocking than the hostage drama is the incompetence of the German police force, whose lack of preparedness certainly must be held responsible for the event's bloody climax. Macdonald mixes new interviews with actual news footage, giving the film a fast pace and a fascinating look at recent history. ABC's Jim McKay, Chris Schenkel, Howard Cosell and Peter Jennings are seen and heard in old clips, and it would have been nice to have gotten their current take on their role in history.

ONE DOWN, TWO TO GO (1983)--Directed by Fred Williamson. Stars Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, Richard Roundtree. The Hammer doesn't hit the nail on the head this time. After karate tournament promoter Roundtree is screwed out of his profits and his best fighter (Kelly) is shot and left for dead by mobsters, he calls tough-guy buddies Williamson and Brown for help. Williamson, Brown and Kelly were in THREE THE HARD WAY and TAKE A HARD RIDE together, but this limp actioner lacks the energy and style of those pictures. There are a few fights, gun battles and chases, but nothing you haven't seen before, and the stars have all done better work elsewhere. Kelly doesn't seem to have done much after this. Also with Paula Sills, Laura Loftus, Tom Signorelli and Joe Spinell. Dopey score by Herb Hetzer and Joe Trunzo.

ONE-EYED JACKS (1961)--Directed by Marlon Brando. Stars Marlon Brando, Karl Malden, Katy Jurado, Pina Pellicer, Slim Pickens, Ben Johnson. Brando's only film as a director. During a bank holdup, Brando is left behind by his best friend Malden, is captured, and spends five years in prison. When he gets out, he seeks revenge on his old buddy. Cult western is one of the more offbeat examples of the genre. Brando's visuals and action scenes are exciting, and his mumbling portrayal of a tough cowboy is just weird enough to be interesting. Stanley Kubrick was originally set to direct. Brando reportedly worked on the film for almost two years.

ONE FINE DAY (1996)--Directed by Michael Hoffman. Stars George Clooney, Michelle Pfieffer, Mae Whitman, Charles Durning. Romantic comedies almost entirely rely on the charms of its leads. Fortunately, this one combines one of our best female movie stars with an up-and-coming movie star making the move from television. Terrel Seltzer and Ellen Simon's script is pretty flimsy, as a pair of divorced workaholics manage to meet cute, take care of each others kids and fall in love all in one day, but Pfeiffer and Clooney manage to almost pull it off. This was Clooney's first big-screen romantic lead, and it seems obvious that he will become one of Hollywood's biggest stars. After bouncing around in TV for over a decade (including regular roles on THE FACTS OF LIFE, ROSANNE, BABY TALK, SISTERS and others), he finally found stardom as Dr. Doug Ross in the smash NBC hit ER. From there he jumped to the big screen in Quentin Tarantino's FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, where he managed to hold the screen alongside luminaries like Harvey Keitel and Fred Williamson. Frothy score by James Newton Howard.

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975)--Directed by Milos Forman. Stars Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, Brad Dourif, Christopher Lloyd, Danny DeVito, Sidney Lassick, William Redfield, Will Sampson. One of three films to sweep the Oscars for Best Picture, Director, Actor, Actress and Screenplay (IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT and THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS are the others). Funny but ultimately depressing film stars Nicholson as a non-conformist convict who fakes mental illness to get out of work duty at the prison. In the mental hospital, he realizes the inmates really aren't any nuttier than most people on the outside, and disrupts their dull and orderly lives, much to the chagrin of the stern Nurse Ratched (Fletcher). Was a big hit with young people, thanks to Nicholson's great performance and film's strong anti-establishment message. Laurence Hauben and Bo Goldman scripted from Ken Kesey's novel. Dourif was nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Cinematography by Haskell Wexler. Co-produced by Michael Douglas, who was starring in THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO at the time and received the rights from his father Kirk, who was originally to play Nicholson's role, but was too old by 1975.

100 RIFLES (1969)--Directed by Tom Gries. Stars Jim Brown, Raquel Welch, Burt Reynolds, Fernando Lamas, Dan O'Herlihy, Eric Braeden, Soledad Miranda. Burt gets third billing as a half-breed Indian who is pursued by sheriff Brown for stealing a shipment of guns. Reynolds stole the weapons for use against a ruthless Mexican dictator (Lamas), and Brown falls into line when he falls in love with Burt's Indian squaw (Welch). Violent western was controversial at the time for its nude love scene between Brown and Welch. Shot on location in Spain.

100 MILLION BC (2008)—Directed by Griff Furst. Stars Christopher Atkins, Michael Gross, Greg Evigan. The Asylum strikes again with another pitiful “mockbuster,” this one ripping off Spielberg’s THE LOST WORLD, but retitled to capitalize on Roland Emmerich’s 10,000 BC. It's no kidding to say that the visual effects on the TV series LAND OF THE LOST are more accomplished. My impression is that The Asylum isn't even trying to make good movies. They don't even appear to be recording sound--all dialogue is horribly looped, giving the film the disorienting sensation of an old dubbed Japanese movie. The dialogue is brainless, the plot holes enormous enough to fit a T-Rex into, the storyline lazy, and the filmmakers paid so little attention to what they're doing that an SUV driving backwards appears behind the actors in a process shot. That's bad enough, but, in the context of the story, there shouldn't be anything driving past the actors in the shot. And besides, why are the actors standing in front of a screen in the first place, instead of at the actual tunnel where some other scenes were shot? Director Griff Furst took his name off the movie (using the nom de plume Louis Myman), which means he must hate it more than the almost-as-terrible I AM OMEGA.

After romping through Malibu Creek State Park and Topanga Canyon for awhile, some of the team (and survivors) make it back to the present, but unfortunately bring a red, terribly animated T-Rex with them (how is never adequately explained). Evigan (BJ AND THE BEAR) has a thankless role as a Naval lieutenant commander who rides ineffectually in a helicopter and shouts orders at soldiers and cops that we never see. Laughable performances by the slumming or begging-to-be-noticed cast are of no help to Furst’s dragging film. Nobody even attempts to look, act or speak as though they’re from the 1940s, and I had no idea that breast implants were so popular then.

How many more films by The Asylum do I have to watch before I can permanently write them off as failures? They seemingly want to be what New World Pictures was to the 1970s and PM Entertainment to the ‘90s, but their output falls woefully below their ancestors, even in terms of production values, for which there is no excuse.

$100,000 FOR RINGO (1965)--Directed by Alberto de Martino. Stars Richard Harrison, Fernando Sancho. After the Civil War, a veteran calling himself Lee Barton (Harrison) returns to the town of Rainbow Valley, where everyone accuses him of being Ward Cluster, whose wife was murdered years earlier by venal town boss Tom Cherry. Cherry framed the local Apaches for the murder, and has opened gunrunning negotiations with a Mexican general in order to get the $200,000 stashed within a church. Barton/Cluster aligns with the Indians and a Tucson sheriff (Sancho) in hopes of grabbing the treasure himself. De Martino does a nice job explaining the many major characters and their relationships to everyone else. The action is quick and deadly, the Spanish scenery eye-pleasing, and the Bruno Nicolai score sharp, making this early Italian western a quite good one. Harrison was already a major movie star in Europe, and went on to make many more westerns, spy flicks and other action-oriented movies overseas.

ONE MAN ARMY (1994)--Directed by Cirio H. Santiago. Stars Jerry Trimble, Rick Dean, Melissa Moore, Dennis Hayden. His grandfather's funeral lures Jerry Pelt (Trimble), the owner of a Los Angeles Tae Kwan Do school, back to the rural Southern California county where he grew up (and that contains an unusually large Filipino population). He discovers home is not what it used to be, as Johnson County is now under the corrupt thumb of the sheriff, Jerry's childhood rival Pat Boze (Dean). After reacquainting himself with his old girlfriend (Moore) and rowdy best pal (Hayden), Jerry figures the best way to stop Boze's reign is to oppose him in the upcoming election. Not that Boze plans to play fair... Trimble, a real-life kickboxing champion, is one of many who attempted big-screen stardom. On screen anyway, he looks like a better fighter than the more popular Don "The Dragon" Wilson, but is also less attractive and less of an actor than Wilson. Daryl Haney's story is nothing to write home about, but Santiago keeps the action lively and the running time brief (79 minutes). And scream queen Moore contributes three nude scenes, which are nice. Santiago isn't fooling anyone by shooting this in the Philippines.

ONE MAN FORCE (1989)--Directed by Dale Trevillion. Stars John Matuszak, Sam Jones, Ronny Cox, Stacey Q. Big John Matuszak (6’8”) was already dead from AIDS by the time his big film break was released by James Glickenhaus’ company. “Tooz”, a former Oakland Raider, had plenty of acting roles under his belt, including THE ICE PIRATES and a regular gig on 1ST AND TEN, but this was his first time as a leading man. His gonzo acting style, coupled with some wild stunts and chase scenes coordinated by Spiro Razatos, provides this minor action picture with the ingredients for a good time. Badass L.A. cop Jake Swan (Matuszak) is pretty pissed when his partner (Jones) is killed in a raid gone bad. So pissed that he--literally--tears the city apart looking for the killers, causing so much mayhem that his boss (Cox) suspends him. Jake gets his P.I. license in order to make some dough on the side, and lands a case tracking a kidnapped rock star (Stacey Q). It goes without saying in a film like this that the two cases will eventually intersect. Tooz is pretty out of control, throwing refrigerators and Pepsi machines at the bad guys, and screaming his lines whenever Jake gets mad. Intimidating? You bet. Trevillion’s script is nothing special--in fact, the “twist” at the end is such a cliché that it would only have been a twist if it hadn’t occurred--but there‘s an action scene every five minutes or so to keep you amused. Richard Lynch, Charles Napier, Sharon Farrell, Robert Tessier and Buck Flower lend their support. Music by David Michael Frank.

ONE MAN JURY, THE (1978)--Directed by Charles Martin. Stars Jack Palance, Christopher Mitchum, Pamela Susan Shoop, Joe Spinell, Andy Romano. Standard DIRTY HARRY ripoff that more closely resembles a TV pilot than a feature film. It isn't violent or sleazy enough to rate more than a cursory glance, despite Jack's ripely entertaining performance and a decent action-packed finale. Los Angeles detective Jim Wade (Palance), sick and tired of the liberal judicial system allowing murderers to go free on technicalities, tracks down a serial killer, and stops him permanently with a bullet in his forehead. Writer-director Martin (HOW TO SEDUCE A WOMAN) was apparently unable to sustain this plot for the length of a feature, so he added two subplots involving a bank robber named Chicky (Romano) who is freed by a lenient judge and a big-time mobster (Spinell) who puts a hit out on Wade. Palance's romantic scenes with his very young-looking girlfriend (Shoop, who was very popular on television during the '70s and '80s) are pretty hilarious. Mitchum has very little to do--despite his number-two billing--as Palance's partner. Morton Stevens's soundtrack sounds very similar to some of his less exotic HAWAII FIVE-0 scores. Also with Angel Tompkins. Also known as DEAD ON ARRIVAL and THE COP WHO PLAYED GOD.

ONE MAN’S JUSTICE (1995)—Directed by Kurt Wimmer. Stars Brian Bosworth, Bruce Payne, Jeff Kober, M.C. Hammer. Drill sergeant John North (Bosworth) is devastated when his wife and daughter are mowed down during a convenience-store robbery, but not as much as when he learns the killer (Kober) is under federal protection and is being bodyguarded by FBI agent Savak (Payne). If only the movie (filmed as ONE TOUGH BASTARD) was so straightforward. Instead, Wimmer strings together an unlikely plot that makes Savak (sporting an un-FBI-like nose piercing and long mullet) a corrupt agent and casts laughingstock rapper Hammer as a frightening mobster. Payne is an awful actor and a preener unable to go toe-to-toe with Bosworth, who would have been better served in a straight-ahead revenge flick with a better script. Wimmer’s next film was the acclaimed EQUILIBRIUM.

ONE MILLION YEARS, B.C. (1966)--Directed by Don Chaffey. Stars John Richardson, Raquel Welch, Martine Beswick, Percy Herbert. When will filmmakers realize that caveman films never work? The only highlights of this silly Hammer film are Ray Harryhausen's animated dinosaurs and Raquel's fur bikini. Produced and co-written by Hammer head Michael Carreras. It took four people to write this movie, even though there's no dialogue.

ONE MORE SATURDAY NIGHT (1986)--Directed by Dennis Klein. Stars Al Franken, Tom Davis, Moira Harris, Bess Meyer, Chelcie Ross. Dan Aykroyd served as executive producer for this lame comedy written by and starring SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE's writing team of Franken and Davis. They play a pair of rock musicians looking for dates on a Saturday night in a small Minnesota town. Franken and Davis were responsible for some of SNL's funniest moments, but they aren't capable of much on the big screen.

ONE MORE TIME (1970)--Directed by Jerry Lewis. Stars Peter Lawford, Sammy Davis Jr. Tediously unfunny comedy sequel to the Rat Packers' SALT & PEPPER, which was moderately amusing in a boozy, Matt Helm kind of way. This one finds our heroes, Lawford as Chris Pepper and Sammy as Charley Salt (an indication of the movie's level of humor), stripped by the courts of their London nightclub and forced to come up with a 500 pound fine to avoid jail. With all their assets in escrow, the boys turn to Pepper's stuffy twin brother (also played by Lawford) for help. When the twin is murdered, Chris (for some reason) switches places with his late brother, hires Charley to work for him at his luxurious castle, and becomes involved with Scotland Yard and some stolen diamonds. Full of bad Sammy songs, schmaltzy interludes and dull "booze and broads" humor. The first film directed by Lewis in which he didn't also appear. Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee make brief pointless cameos; Davis was a huge fan of their Hammer horror films, and wanted them in ONE MORE TIME, despite the protests of director Lewis.

ONG-BAK (2003)--Directed by Prachya Pinkaew. Stars Tony Jaa. Jaa is the real deal. The wildly athletic Thai martial artist stars as Ting, a young man from a tiny village who travels to Bangkok to recover the head of Ong-Bak, a statue of a god worshipped by his people. In the big city, the naïve country boy teams up with his con artist cousin and a feisty young woman and ends up in one brutal fight after another against the Thai underworld. Unlike many of today's crop of Asian and (especially) American martial arts stars, Jaa uses no stunt doubles, no wires, no CGI and no special effects to achieve his jaw-dropping physical feats. All the chases, fights and stunts you see in ONG-BAK are real, and many of them appear to be quite violent and dangerous. Jaa's unusual fighting style mainly involves pounding his elbows into his opponents' heads. Comparisons to Jackie Chan have been made, although Chan is a better actor and plays many of his fight scenes with a light touch. Still, ONG-BAK is often astonishing to watch, and keeping your eye on Jaa's future projects would probably be a good idea.

THE ONION MOVIE (2008)—Directed by Tom Kuntz & Mike McGuire. Stars Len Cariou, Steven Seagal, Scott Klace, Sarah McElligott, Larissa Laskin. The satirical online newspaper THE ONION makes its first motion picture, which sat on the shelf for several years in disgrace before its 2008 DVD release. Interesting that THE ONION’s predecessor, MAD, also made a troubled motion picture, UP THE ACADEMY, that so shamed the magazine that it took its name off initial theatrical prints. Structured like a KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE-style blend of sketches and blackouts, THE ONION MOVIE strives to depict a typical Onion network newscast, anchored by veteran Norm Archer (Cariou), complete with absurd interviews and stories. Most fall flat, but among the more amusing bits are a profile of tween-sensation Melissa Cherry (McElligott), who denies her hit songs like “Shoot Your Love All Over Me” and “Take Me From Behind” are remotely sexual in nature, and a cooking segment hosted by Meredith Baxter (FAMILY TIES). A running storyline involves old-school Archer’s fight against the network suits to prevent their using his newscast as a promotional vehicle for a schlocky new action movie starring Steven Seagal titled COCKPUNCHER. The directors refused to take credit for this mess, which is no disaster, but hardly worth the effort of watching it. Cariou, a fine actor, has to take some blame with his plodding comic timing.

OPEN SEASON (1974)--Directed by Peter Collinson. Stars Peter Fonda, John Phillip Law, Richard Lynch, Cornelia Sharpe, Alberto Mendoza, William Holden. This Spanish production is still another remake of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME. For two weeks every summer, childhood buddies and Vietnam vets Ken (Fonda), Greg (Law) and Artie (Lynch) get away from their suburban homes, wives, kids and lifestyles by taking a hunting trip deep into the Canadian forest. As kids, they escaped prosecution on a gang rape when the D.A. decided no one would take the victim's word over those of three respected football stars and scholars, and ever since, they've used their annual getaways as an excuse to overindulge in liquor, women and debauchery. They've also become bored with hunting regular game, and spice up their sport by tracking people instead. While driving to their remote cabin, the guys kidnap Martin (Mendoza) and Nancy (Sharpe), a couple cheating on their respective spouses, and use them as slaves, chaining them to the kitchen and commanding them to cook, clean and serve them. Martin, a bank executive, believes they're being held for ransom, not realizing that his captors have a sicker motive.

Although skillfully made and utilizing some wonderful locations (which look like Canada to me, but the credits claim OPEN SEASON was shot in Madrid, Rome and London), OPEN SEASON doesn't really have much of a point. Collinson waits too long to get to the hunt, so the first half is mostly slow going, although there are some fine performances, especially by Lynch, who would soon be relegated to quickie heavy roles. An unusual star cameo by Holden in the opening reel also mars the film. His first scene is so fleeting and inconsequential that you know he must factor into the plot somewhere down the line, so when the "twist" occurs 90 minutes later, it isn't much of a surprise. Writers Liz Charles-Williams and David Osborn, who adapted Osborn's novel THE ALL-AMERICANS, also penned two '60s Bulldog Drummond thrillers. Music by Ruggero Cini. Also known as THE RECON GAME and by its original Spanish title of LOS CAZADORES.

OPERATION C.I.A. (1965)--Directed by Christian I. Nyby. Stars Burt Reynolds, Danielle Aubry, William Catching, Kieu Chinh. Burt’s first leading role in a motion picture was as American agent Mark Andrews in this low-budget independent feature that probably never played on the top half of a double bill. It’s unusual in that it’s set in Saigon at a time when the Vietnam War was underway, but not yet in the hearts and minds of most Americans. Nyby shot it in Asia, for certain, but I’m not sure if the locations are in Vietnam or in the Philippines (the presence of ubiquitous character actor Vic Diaz usually pinpoints a Manila production). OPERATION C.I.A. is not a bad little film, a bit talky during its first half, but certainly topical. Reynolds’ background as a stuntman comes into play during the second half, particularly a long foot chase through the city. Burt jumps, runs, fights and swings quite well, and even though he had plenty of television experience already, I wonder if this film helped him get the lead in the HAWK TV series. After three seasons on GUNSMOKE and lots of guest shots as heavies, Burt finally got the chance to wear a suit, kiss the girl, and punch bad guys. Andrews is assigned to Saigon to investigate the death of another agent whose job was to stop an impending political assassination. Its ultra-conservative viewpoint (student protestors really irk Andrews) may surprise some folks. John Hoyt makes a “guest” appearance as Burt’s boss. Allied Artists released it. Burt went to Italy to do NAVAJO JOE as his next film.

Filmed as INFERNO, but released domestically with a title reminiscent of Jackie Chan's hit OPERATION CONDOR, COBRA is a typically brainless Ray action movie, complete with a plot I doubt even he understands and gross miscasting of the lead roles. Wilson is out of his element as a womanizing spy who finds himself the object of three different women's attractions. The grotesque McClure has undergone the plastic surgeon's knife too many times to be considered sexy in my book, while Lurie's string of poor performances remains untouched. The film's highlight is the radiant presence of Bhatnagar, a Miss India who's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen grace an American film. Her role as Cavanaugh's daughter is kind of a throwaway, but her wet presence in one of Ray's three awkward sex scenes (only McClure appears topless) is a definite bonus. Also with Jillian Kesner, Kim Ray and cinematographer Gary Graver. Music by Jeff Walton.

OPERATION DELTA FORCE (1997)--Directed by Sam Firstenberg. Stars Jeff Fahey, Ernie Hudson, Joe Lara. Pretty good DTV action movie by the director of several Michael Dudikoff kickfests. A bunch of hardnosed Delta Force combat veterans, led by flinty Lang (Fahey), chase a bunch of terrorists, led by ponytailed Nash (Lara), who have stolen a fatal virus from a government facility all over the South African countryside. Making Lang's job more difficult is the presence of Tipton (Hudson), who seems like a pretty good guy, but whom Lang dislikes for some reason I have forgotten. That's not all I have forgotten about OPERATION DELTA FORCE, which is a pretty fun movie with a large number of decently staged action sequences. In fact, that's not much to the film besides the near-constant gunfire, fights and explosions. It must have been successful, since four sequels followed. Hal Holbrook worked a day and picked up a paycheck. Frank Zagarino, Todd Jensen, Rob Stewart and Natasha Sutherland are in it too. Music by Serge Colbert. Cinematographer Yossi Wein directed a couple of the sequels.

OPERATION DELTA FORCE II: MAYDAY (1998)--Directed by Yossi Wein. Stars Michael McGrady, J. Kenneth Campbell, Dale Dye. Terrorists commanded by the megalomaniacal Flint Lukosh (Campbell) simultaneously hijack a nuclear submarine and a cruise ship captained by former Navy sub commander Halsey Lang (Dye). Lukosh vows to fire nuclear missiles at Russia unless he's paid a sizable ransom, and uses the cruise ship as a human shield to prevent the authorities from blowing his sub out of the water. Enter the hardy soldiers of Delta Force, led by Captain Skip Lang (McGrady), coincidentally the son of Captain Halsey. David Sparling's screenplay is unfocused and not exactly logical, but it holds together well enough for Wein to stage some impressive gunfights and pyrotechnics, getting more out of his low budget than many other filmmakers would. Stock footage, however, did pop up in later OPERATION DELTA FORCE sequels. Also with Todd Jensen (who appeared in OPERATION DELTA FORCE V), Simon Jones and Brian O'Shaughnessy.

OPERATION DELTA FORCE V: RANDOM FIRE (1999)--Directed by Yossi Wein. Stars Trae Thomas, Toni Caprari, Todd Jensen. A Middle Eastern terrorist named Jafari (Caprari) is using mind control developed by a Russian psychiatrist to turn ordinary citizens into suicide bombers. Days after Delta Force leader Captain Brad Kennedy (Thomas) is forced to leave behind several of his men on a doomed mission in Kenya, he's stunned to see one of them on television, blowing up an economic conference in Boston. Realizing that the other men must still be alive, but under the guidance of Jafari, Kennedy reorganizes his squad and heads back to Kenya on a rescue mission. If you like to see lots of stuff blow up, ODFV delivers the goods. The script leaves much to be desired, and Wein's disregard for military customs, clothing and protocol might leave you wondering whether this film is set in an alternate universe, but there are worse ways to spend 90 minutes. The cast is interchangeable, except for Caprari, who has no chance to evolve his standard heavy into any kind of complex character--he's just evil because he is. Also with Emily Whitefield, Pepper Sweeney and Ron Smerczak. Filmed in South Africa. Music by Serge Colbert.

THE OPERATIVE (2000)--Directed by Robert Lee. Stars Brian Bosworth, John Tench, Bob Dawson, Rachel Hayward, Taras Kostyuk, Teryl Rothery. Former football star Bosworth plays two roles in this Canadian-lensed DTV action movie, but is miscast in only one of them. As CIA agent Alec Carville, a master of disguise codenamed "Chameleon", The Boz is captured on a mission in Kiev in 1989 and held prisoner in an insane asylum. Eleven years later, he escapes, but is recaptured by Basil Bellanin (Dawson), the ex-KGB agent who caught him the first time. Bellanin claims to be holding hostage Carville's former lover, a Soviet agent named Sonya (Hayward), and threatens to kill her unless Chameleon performs one final mission: to infiltrate a Boston bank disguised as billionaire industrialist Felix Grady and complete the sale of a painting that contains the formula for cold fusion. Accompanied by two of Bellanin's bodyguards, the operation goes smoothly...that is, until the real Grady (also Bosworth) arrives.

Not much dough and a surprisingly claustrophobic storyline hamper THE OPERATIVE, which results in a mildly entertaining and familiar tale of government cover-ups and double-crosses. Bosworth has developed somewhat as an action star since his film debut, the delightfully silly STONE COLD, but his character-acting chops are woefully lacking, as is apparent in his scenes as shitkicking Texan Grady. It's surprising that the Oklahoma-born Bosworth is unable to muster a believable Southern accent, although it's at least as consistently bad as the many Russian accents uttered by THE OPERATIVE's cast of Canadian actors. Filmed in Victoria, British Columbia. Peter Allen's interesting song-based score adds some pep to the proceedings.

OPPOSING FORCE (1986)--Directed by Eric Karson. Stars Tom Skerritt, Lisa Eichhorn, Anthony Zerbe, Richard Roundtree. Before it degenerates into routine gunplay at its climax, OPPOSING FORCE is a well-acted low-budget thriller with an interesting premise. A group of soldiers--including grounded Major Logan (Skerritt) and Casey (Eichhorn), the first woman to qualify--is recruited for a top-secret training mission. Their scenario is to parachute onto a remote island where they are to evade capture as long as possible, and then practice survival in a mock POW camp run by hard-assed Sgt. Stafford (Roundtree). Unfortunately, the camp's commanding officer, Becker (Zerbe), is more sadistic than the group had anticipated, teaching his recruits through humiliation, brainwashing and physical torture. Logan, the group's senior officer, accepts Becker's abuse and even refuses to crack, but the situation really gets ugly when Becker takes realism a step too far and rapes Casey, justifying his actions as something that really would happen if she were captured by an actual enemy.

Karson (THE OCTAGON) does a nice job with the premise, balancing the need for soldiers effectively trained to handle any form of emotional and physical torture against the ethical question of "how far is too far?" He also draws some excellent performances from his cast, particularly Eichhorn and Roundtree. Unfortunately, Karson throws away all traces of sensitivity for a needlessly violent and more than slightly implausible action climax in which the bad guys die and the good guys live happily ever after. Also with George Kee Cheung, John Considine and Robert Wightman. Music by Marc Donahue. Filmed in the Philippines. Also known as HELLCAMP. Skerritt appeared in TOP GUN the same year.

ORANGE COUNTY (2002)--Directed by Jake Kasdan. Stars Colin Hanks, Jack Black, Schuyler Fisk, Catherine O'Hara, John Lithgow. FREAKS AND GEEKS alumni Kasdan and Mike White (who both wrote and acted in episodes) reunited to make this intermittently entertaining teen comedy, which goes light on scatological gags, thank goodness. Straight-A student Shaun (Hanks) gives up his surfer-dude lifestyle after discovering a book on the beach written by Marcus Skinner (a cameo by Kevin Kline). It becomes his CATCHER IN THE RYE, encouraging him to become a writer and to seek acceptance at Stanford University, where Skinner is a professor. A mixup results in Shaun's application being rejected, leading him to visit the campus in person in a last-ditch desperate attempt to get in.

Much of the material revolves around Shaun's chaotic family life in Orange County, the subject of his first short story. His mother (O'Hara) is a boozer married to an elderly invalid, brother Lance (Black) is perpetually stoned, and his businessman father (Lithgow) has an unfaithful trophy wife and a young son with ADD. His high-school classmates are either whacked-out surfers or vapid cheerleaders; only his sweet girlfriend Ashley (Fisk) seems normal. What's nice about the supporting players is that they are allowed to be more than cartoons, despite the broad performances. It's important to understand that, despite their dysfunctional nature, Shaun's family really does love him and want what's best for him.

Occasionally too crass and too sentimental, ORANGE COUNTY never really adds up to the sum of its parts, although it scores frequently enough to make it worth a watch. Kasdan's family connections (his father is THE BIG CHILL director Lawrence Kasdan) helped him score a wonderful supporting cast, including Ben Stiller, Chevy Chase, Harold Ramis, Garry Marshall and Lily Tomlin. Also with Carly Pope, George Murdock, R.J. Knoll, Kyle Howard, Natasha Melnick, Lizzy Caplan and Monica Keena. Music by Michael Andrews, who composed all 18 episodes of FREAKS AND GEEKS.

ORDEAL (1973)—Directed by Lee H. Katzin. Stars Arthur Hill, Diana Muldaur, James Stacy. OWEN MARSHALL, COUNSELOR AT LAW star Hill is interesting casting in this suspenseful TV-movie. An efficient portrayer of mild-mannered white-collar types, Hill seems perfectly overmatched against the forces of nature as a wealthy jerk stranded in the desert by his wife (Muldaur) and her lover (Stacy). The interesting twist is that ORDEAL sets up Hill as a real jackass who deserves his fate and initially wants to get out of the desert less for his own survival and more just to spite his tormentors. One ingenious sequence has Hill climbing down a cliff on a broken leg, being unable to retrieve his rope, and having to climb back up in order to fix the rope in a different way that will allow him to pull it down after him. Shortly after ORDEAL, Stacy lost an arm and a leg in a motorcycle accident. A remake of Fox’s 1953 3-D feature INFERNO with Robert Ryan, Rhonda Fleming, and William Lundigan, ORDEAL credits Francis Cockrell, screenwriter of the original, and Leon Tokatyan with the teleplay. Macdonald Carey co-stars with Michael Ansara, who is very good as a wise sheriff. Score by Patrick Williams.

THE ORDER OF THE BLACK EAGLE (1987)—Directed by Worth Keeter. Stars Ian Hunter, C.K. Bibby, Jill Donnellan, Anna Rapagna, William T. Hicks, Stephan Krayn, Flo Hyman. James Bond meets BJ AND THE BEAR in this sequel to the equally obscure UNMASKING THE IDOL. British agent Duncan Jax (Hunter) and his tuxedo-wearing, karate-kicking baboon Boon (!) reluctantly team up with Interpol’s Tiffany Youngblood (Donnellan) to investigate the titular order, a group of neo-Nazis in South America planning to conquer the world. This is some far-out comic book stuff. While infiltrating the Order’s stronghold by posing as members, Jax and Tiffany not only discover a kidnapped Jewish scientist being forced to develop a death ray, but also Adolf Hitler (!), alive and well in cryogenic hibernation awaiting the big thaw. Gotta give director Keeter some credit. It can’t be easy to shoot a globetrotting espionage adventure in North Carolina, and this is a lot more polished than his Earl Owensby actioners. The homemade production values are impressive, considering how little was spent on them, and every dollar is on the screen, mainly in the form of plywood Aztec temples and lots of explosions. Hicks plays The Baron, the Order’s ruler, under fat makeup that makes him look like Raymond Burr. Hyman, who portrays a blade-wielding mercenary named Spike, died unexpectedly at age 31 the year this came out. Music by Dee Barton.

THE ORGANIZATION (1971)--Directed by Don Medford. Stars Sidney Poitier, Barbara McNair, Gerald S. O'Laughlin, Sheree North. Poitier makes his third appearance as IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT detective Virgil Tibbs. A group of young revolutionaries breaks into a mobster's headquarters and steals $5,000,000 worth of heroin to keep it off the streets. However, when the vigilantes are also framed for the mobster's murder, they call on Tibbs for help. Good direction of action scenes by Medford, and Poitier gives his standard strong performance. Also with Allen Garfield, Fred Beir, Ron O'Neal, Garry Walberg, Demond Wilson, Ross Hagen, Max Gail and Raul Julia in an early role. Medford directed the historical final episode of THE FUGITIVE. James R. Webb wrote the screenplay; Gil Melle composed the score.

THE OSTERMAN WEEKEND (1983)--Directed by Sam Peckinpah. Stars Rutger Hauer, John Hurt, Dennis Hopper, Chris Sarandon, Craig T. Nelson, Meg Foster, Helen Shaver, Cassie Yates. I don't understand Alan Sharp's plot, which is based on a Robert Ludlum bestseller, any better now that I did when I first saw it 20 years ago. Still, there's something compelling about the marvelous cast and Peckinpah's fluid style that makes OSTERMAN watchable, and there's at least one masterfully filmed and edited action scene, which involves Hauer and Nelson in a swimming pool, that's probably as compelling as any other scene "Bloody Sam" ever directed.

CIA agent Fassett (Hurt) manages to convince a TV newsman (Hauer) that his three best friends are Soviet agents. Hauer invites them and their wives to his remote estate for a weekend, where Hurt has set up cameras and listening devices in order to constantly monitor the activities of everyone in the house. Exactly why Hurt wants to do this is unclear, especially when his ultimate motive is revealed, since he appears to be taking the hard road toward his goal. Still, with Hopper, Sarandon and Nelson as the friends and Foster, Shaver and Yates as the wives, you know there will be some good acting to keep you interested, and Lalo Schifrin's score picks up whatever slack there is. In addition to the swimming pool scene, Peckinpah stages a silly but effective car chase.

OSTERMAN was Peckinpah's final film (he died in 1984), and is greatly assisted by leading man Hauer, who had never before carried an English-language film, and Nelson, a former comedian and writer who was all but unknown to audiences at this point, but provides the film with great color, character and particularly humor. Also with Sandy McPeak, Sam's daughter Kristen Peckinpah, Tim Thomerson, Buddy Joe Hooker, Anne Haney and Burt Lancaster as the head of the CIA, clearly meant by Peckinpah to resemble Alexander Haig. Robert Taylor's former California home provided the location for Hauer's house. Producers William Panzer and Peter Davis did HIGHLANDER next.

THE OTHER SIDE OF BONNIE AND CLYDE (1968)—Directed by Larry Buchanan. Stars Jo Enterentree, Lucky Mosley, Burl Ives. It’s not often one can claim Texas filmmaker Buchanan was ahead of his time, but he was when he made this documentary that presages UNSOLVED MYSTERIES and other popular TV shows. Clearly not a fan of Warren Beatty’s Oscar-winning film about 1930s outlaws Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker, Buchanan uses reenactments, Burl Ives narration, and interviews with actual acquaintances and victims of the duo to tell the “real” story. Hamer’s widow reads a letter from a 12-year-old who enjoyed the Beatty film, and Buchanan shows us actual autopsy photos of Barrow and Parker and newsreel footage of their bullet-riddled auto. Using the memoirs of Frank Hamer, the late Texas Ranger who shot down Bonnie and Clyde, as a starting point, this barely-an-hour feature is melodramatic and slightly diverting entertainment. For some reason, Buchanan is obsessed with the fact that Bonnie was 4-feet-10-inches, as Ives repeats it several times. Though the director takes Hollywood to task for glamorizing the couple’s career in crime, I’m guessing Buchanan’s next feature, which starred Fabian Forte as Pretty Boy Floyd, wasn’t a wildly accurate portrait.

OUR MAN FLINT (1966)--Directed by Daniel Mann. Stars James Coburn, Lee J. Cobb, Gila Golan, Edward Mulhare. The best of the dozens of James Bond imitations that flooded 1960s movie screens and the film that turned Coburn into a superstar. An evil SPECTRE-like organization, led by megalomaniac Mulhare, plans to conquer the world by controlling the weather. Only ZOWIE agent Derek Flint (Coburn) and his multi-gadget cigarette lighter can stop them. Great tongue-in-cheek spoof is propelled by an inventive script and a suave performance by Coburn. IN LIKE FLINT followed in '67.

OUT FOR A KILL (2003)--Directed by Michael Oblowitz. Stars Steven Seagal, Michelle Goh, Corey Johnson. Is it possible to make an action movie without using an action star? Judging from the large number of inserts and obvious doubles in Steven Seagal's fight scenes in OUT FOR A KILL, I'd say it's very possible. Also taking into consideration the many scenes in which Seagal's voice is being dubbed off-screen by an actor who may or may not be Steven Seagal (I'm not certain), it appears as though Steve had some very light working days on this picture.

Despite the globetrotting from China to the U.S. to Paris, OUT FOR A KILL was lensed on cheap sets in Bulgaria, where all you need are a few walls and a blue screen to approximate any location in the world. Provided, of course, you can suspend your disbelief far enough. In fact, one shot of the DEA agents standing outside looking up at the sky consists of the two actors standing in front of an obvious blue-screen digital backdrop which makes the rear projection in KILLERS FROM SPACE look like John Dykstra. The sets are the least offensive aspect of this ridiculous movie, but where does one begin reaming it? We could start with Seagal, whose patented passivity as an actor quit being coolly mysterious a long time ago and now just comes across as boredom. He doesn't seem very interested in what he's doing, and the fight scenes indicate he can't do much moving around either. Eschewing his trademark ponytail for a wavy mullet and usually clad in a long coat to hide his girth, Seagal does most of his martial arts while standing still, waving his arms around and hoping Oblowitz has enough second-unit footage to cut around him. And speaking of the editing, it goes a long way towards making Dennis Demster-Denk's screenplay even more incoherent, if that's possible. For instance, the scene in which Seagal is sent to his Chinese prison cell and meets his roommate, an American black man. They introduce themselves, Seagal asks what he's in for, and just as the guy begins telling his story, Oblowitz and editor Robert Ferritti cut away from him in mid-sentence. A minute later, Seagal is getting sprung and hugging his new pal like they're old childhood friends, promising to bail him out as soon as he can. This character, which we assume will be important to the plot, is never seen again. And don't forget the constant cuts back to a conference room where ten Chinese gangsters sit around smoking and pledging to eliminate Seagal. Even though the movie takes place over a series of days, these guys are always wearing the same clothes and sitting in the same positions, almost as if, gee, their scenes were filmed at the same time and spread throughout the picture.

OUT FOR BLOOD (1993)--Directed by Richard W. Munchkin. Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Shari Shattuck, Ron Steelman, Michael Delano. Kickboxing champ Wilson is John Decker, a big-city attorney who spends his evenings brooding alone months after drug dealers murdered his wife and son. His shrink (Steelman) is unsuccessful in his attempts to break through Decker's amnesia that leaves him unable to identify the killers. Meanwhile, the police detective (Delano) investigating his family's death suspects John of being "The Karateman", a martial-arts-expert vigilante who's killing drug dealers. Neither the best nor the worst of Wilson's canon, BLOOD moves quickly enough and contains several decent fight scenes. However, the mild-mannered Wilson doesn't do "pained" and "brooding" very well, and Madacy's DVD is snipped of profanity, nudity and violence, leaving the version I saw quite colorless. Also with Beau Billingslea, Todd Curtis, Aki Aleong, Ken McLeod, Robert Miano, Roberta Vasquez, Melinda Clarke and Art Camacho. Music by Louis Febre.

OUT FOR JUSTICE (1991)--Directed by John Flynn. Stars Steven Seagal, William Forsythe. "He can take a punch. He can take an insult. And now...Steven Seagal...is taking out the garbage!" Seagal is strictly straight-to-video today, but he was a prominent box-office star in his day. OUT FOR JUSTICE is an effective little B-picture with a plot as simple as they come. Seagal plays an Italian NYPD narcotics dick named Gino who works the same Brooklyn streets he grew up on. A psycho crackhead he grew up with, played menacingly by William Forsythe (CITY BY THE SEA), kills his partner, and Seagal spends the entire night chasing him around the borough. Also in the film is Jerry Orbach, a couple of years before starting his long LAW & ORDER gig, but already wearing his Briscoe long face and duds; a cute Gina Gershon (SHOWGIRLS) as Forsythe's sister; Julianna Margulies from ER; John Leguizamo (SPAWN) and Cinemax sensation Shannon Whirry. Seagal's performance is pretty broad--he's really laying the accent on thick--but he's having a pretty good time, busting a lot of heads and splashing a lot of blood. I suspect this had to be trimmed to get an R rating; Seagal hatchets one guy's hand to a wall, blasts another guy's leg clean off with a shotgun blast, and jams a corkscrew right through someone else's forehead. Music by David Michael Frank. From the director of ROLLING THUNDER.

OUT OF CONTROL (1985)--Directed by Allan Holzman. Stars Martin Hewitt, Betsy Russell, Claudia Udy, Jim Youngs. Obnoxious teenagers take a plane ride the night of their senior prom and crashland on a remote island. They pass the time by playing "Spin the Bottle" and pulling pranks. Things get serious in a hurry, though, when they discover drug smugglers on the island. Some violence and a bit of nudity, but dull and uninteresting. Look for future star Sherilyn Fenn. Filmed in Yugoslavia. Russell was the second ANGEL.

OUT OF SIGHT (1998)--Directed by Steven Soderburgh. Stars George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez, Ving Rhames, Don Cheadle, Albert Brooks. An exceptional and smartly written thriller based on a novel by Elmore Leonard. Clooney is Jack Foley, a career bank-robber who has spent most of his adult life in prison. While breaking out of a Florida facility (with the help of his buddy Rhames), he finds himself locked in an automobile trunk with a gorgeous Federal marshal (Lopez). They flirt a bit, and, even though they try to deny it to themselves, a spark flies between them. The rest of the movie details Clooney and Rhames's plan to steal some uncut diamonds from a billionaire they met in prison (Brooks doing a marvelous Michael Milken), while Lopez tracks them, not knowing if she wants to arrest Clooney or sleep with him.

The movie's plot really isn't as important as the characters and the dialogue; whereas in most Hollywood thrillers you're lucky to get one well-developed character, OUT OF SIGHT has eight or nine, including the psycho ex-boxer played by Cheadle (BOOGIE NIGHTS). Scott Frank, who also scripted GET SHORTY, has crafted an intricate and smart screenplay here, giving everybody a chance to shine. Clooney has probably never been better in a movie; he seems surer of himself now (he seems to have abandoned his crutch of holding his chin to his chest while he talks), and it seems impossible that he won't become a major movie star. The 27-year-old Lopez, whose big break was playing the slain Tejano singer SELENA, has a marvelous presence here; she is jawdroppingly sexy, and her scenes with Clooney are erotic with hardly a kiss being shared between them. Give Soderburgh (SEX, LIES & VIDEOTAPE) credit for one of the best-directed love scenes ever filmed. Some marvelous cameos by Dennis Farina, Michael Keaton and Samuel L. Jackson, while Steve Zahn (THAT THING YOU DO!) almost steals the film as a perpetually stoned ex-con. This is a terrific and smart thriller. Filmed in Florida, Louisiana, California and Detroit.

Denzel Washington is a great Poor Bastard. He's an enormously likable actor, of course--and we have to like a Poor Bastard for the film to work--but in OUT OF TIME, he adds a sly touch of humor (there's a reason Washington never stars in comedies) and just the right level of desperation to his usual nobler-than-thou persona. He plays Matt Whitlock, chief of police of tiny, sweaty Banyan Key, Florida, population 1384. Recently separated from his wife, Miami Homicide detective Alex Diaz-Whitlock (Eva Mendes), who walked out on him for reasons relating to her new job, Matt is having an affair with his high-school sweetheart, Ann Harrison (Sanaa Lathan), the wife of Chris Harrison (Dean Cain), an abusive former NFL quarterback now reduced to pulling double shifts as a security guard at the morgue. Matt's ascension to Poor Bastard occurs when he steals $485,000 in confiscated drug money from his own police station to pay for Ann's experimental cancer treatment in Switzerland. Handing Ann the cash, the two lovers make a plan to meet that night to run away together, but Ann never shows. And the next morning, the Harrison house is discovered burned to the ground with the charred remains of Chris and Ann inside. As usual for a film with noirish qualities, OUT OF TIME depends upon its layered plot, as much as its characters, to deliver the drama, so I won't say anything more, except that Poor Bastard Matt experiences the most stressful day of his life, using cunning, quick thinking and, luckily, his badge to keep the law, in the form of both the federal agents sent to retrieve the drug money from Whitlock's safe and the suspicious Alex, literally one step behind him.

OUT OF TIME is a formula genre picture, but it's a good one, led by Washington's impulsive turn as a nice guy led astray by--what else?--a sexy woman. Matt may be innocent of murder, but he is a thief and an adulterer, and it takes a nimble performer to make him a man to root for. Of course, it's hard to begrudge a fella for falling for Ann, who, as portrayed by the ravishing Lathan, is literally to die for, a brown-skinned angel walking the oh-so-seductive tightrope of demure vulnerability and steamy sex. Cain, a record-setting Princeton free safety who found fame playing Superman on television and has done very good work in a number of direct-to-video action films, is a revelation as the jealous Chris, a character written with one dimension, but fleshed out into three through Cain's wily performance. A crafty turn by John Billingsley (STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE) as Matt's quirky best friend and Banyan Key's medical examiner provides the movie with both comic relief and an extra red herring. Eva Mendes is a tough Homicide cop like I'm a triathlete, but her statuesque demeanor plays well against Washington, and it's easy to see why Matt could still be in love with her and risk prison for another lover at the same time.

OUT ON BAIL (1989)—Directed by Gordon Hessler. Stars Robert Ginty, Kathy Shower, Tom Badal. Drifter John Dee (Ginty) leaps off a freight train and into a small Tennessee town, where the local cops shake him down and frame him for a mass murder at the local diner. Temporarily finding refuge at a motel run by single mom Sally Anne (1986 Playboy Playmate of the Year Shower), who lives with her emotionally shunted son who’s been mute since his daddy’s murder, Dee discovers the only way out of his present fix is to expose the corrupt sheriff (Badal) responsible for the killings. The opening scenes are similar to FIRST BLOOD, and Badal, a bad actor who also co-wrote the script, looks and acts a lot like Jack Starrett, who played the sinister deputy who tortured Sylvester Stallone in that movie. Veteran director Hessler (SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN) handles the many chases and fight scenes better than you’d expect for a simple low-budget movie like this one, and the action scenes—not the farfetched plot nor Ginty’s tightlipped performance—are the reason to watch this one late at night. Filmed in South Africa, which doesn’t look very much like Tennessee, but oh well. Also with Stuart Lancaster and Sydney Lassick.

THE OUTFIT (1973)—Directed by John Flynn. Stars Robert Duvall, Joe Don Baker, Robert Ryan, Karen Black. Flynn based his tough crime drama on one of Donald E. Westlake’s Parker novels. Duvall is Earl Macklin, a bank robber just released from prison, who discovers that his brother—and partner in the robbery—has been murdered by gunsels working for mobster Mailer (Ryan). The Macklins didn’t realize that the bank was full of Syndicate money. When Mailer’s subsequent hit on Earl fails, the robber picks up Cody (Baker), the third partner in the heist, and decides to go on offense, knocking off a series of Mob money drops until Mailer pays a hefty ransom. Outside of Black’s superfluous role as Macklin’s woman, THE OUTFIT is refreshingly free of excess baggage. It’s a lean, gritty action thriller jammed with punchy dialogue, quick violence and a smart sense of humor. Duvall and Baker are a well-honed team that reminds you of a time when tough guys could make a stronger statement with a .38 than today’s wannabes can with an army of Glock automatics. Flynn compiled a remarkable supporting cast, many of whom were familiar from earlier gangster movies, including Richard Jaeckel, Sheree North, Timothy Carey, Bill McKinney, Marie Windsor, Elisha Cook Jr., Jane Greer, Joanna Cassidy, Henry Jones, Tony Young, Tom Reese, Jeannine Riley and boxer Archie Moore. Music by Jerry Fielding. Flynn did the even better ROLLING THUNDER next.

OUTFOXED: RUPERT MURDOCH’S WAR ON JOURNALISM (2004)--Directed by Robert Greenwald. An often frustrating documentary about the conservative bias demonstrated on-air by the allegedly “fair and balanced” Fox News Channel, owned by Australian tycoon Murdoch. If your politics lean to the left, you’ll probably be pissed off at the hate and misinformation spewed by Fox’s GOP spinmeisters like Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity and Brit Hume. Greenwald uses actual Fox News footage to show how the network uses underhanded tricks like attributing rumors to “some people” as a smokescreen to legitimately trash the left. Even if you’re a conservative, I would think you’d have to be sickened by O’Reilly’s treatment of Jeremy Glick, a young man whose father was killed on 9/11 and became a target of the commentator’s venomous bigotry. Greenwald managed to get a few former Fox News staffers to go on camera, some under the protection of anonymity, but it would have been nice to see the point of view of O’Reilly or head honcho Roger Ailes.

After a laborer with no prior behavioral problems becomes psychotic and beats up a hooker, resulting in his own death at the hands of O'Niel's chief security officer Montone (Sikking), O'Niel notices a pattern of mysterious deaths--28 over the past six months--in which the victims, 10 months or so into their tour, commit suicide. At O'Niel's prompting, the local doctor, Lazarus (Sternhagen), discovers the latest victim was doped up on an illegal narcotic provided by Sheppard (Boyle), the station manager, that would make his workers faster and more efficient, with their eventual psychosis and death an unfortunate side effect. When O'Niel threatens to expose him, Sheppard sends away for a pair of assassins. As the ubiquitous clock ticks down to the docking of the shuttle carrying his killers, O'Niel finds he's on his own, as the rest of Io, including his own security staff, declines to become involved.

Sure, this material may have been done better with Fred Zinnemann and Gary Cooper in HIGH NOON, but as a tense B-movie, OUTLAND is pretty good. Granted, the storyline and characterizations are about as thin as the 109-minute running time can possibly support, but the ALIEN-inspired production design and visual effects hold up pretty well twenty years later, and there's no denying the timelessness of the basic plot. Connery is actually better than the material, adding a worldweariness to his own action-oriented charisma. One scene in which he realizes that he was chosen for his current assignment because of his perceived lack of ambition or backbone adds great weight to his final actions. Sternhagen and Sikking provide sturdy relief, although Boyle suffers from his heavy's lack of substance. Also with Kika Markham, Steven Berkoff, John Ratzenberger, Nicholas Barnes and Clarke Peters. Music by Jerry Goldsmith. Lensed at London's Pinewood Studios. Hyams did THE STAR CHAMBER next and worked with Connery again on THE PRESIDIO.

THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES (1976)--Directed by Clint Eastwood. Stars Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, John Vernon, Bill McKinney, Sam Bottoms, Chief Dan George. Good western starring Clint as a pacifist farmer whose family is murdered by Union soldiers. He seeks revenge and kills lots of people. Good action, typically expert Eastwood supporting cast, brilliant photography by Bruce Surtees. Philip Kaufman was originally to direct, but was fired by Eastwood.

OUTLAW OF GOR (1989)--Directed by John "Bud" Cardos. Stars Urbano Barberini, Jack Palance, Donna Denton, Rebecca Ferratti. The planet Gor is held prisoner under the cruel reign of high priest Palance and princess Ferratti. Beefcake hero Barberini travels to Gor to rescue gorgeous heroine Denton and save the planet. There are a lot of (poorly choreographed) battle scenes, and the women's costumes leave little to the imagination, but film is dull and pointless. Palance overacts as usual. Based on John Norman's classic novels. Filmed in Italy. From the director of KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS.

OUTRAGE (1973)--Directed by Richard T. Heffron. Stars Robert Culp, Marlyn Mason. Few actors do clenched rage better than Robert Culp, which makes him perfectly cast in this pre-DEATH WISH tale of suburban vigilantism. Veterinarian Jim Kiler (Culp) and his family lead normal, quiet lives in their low-crime, low-tax community where every day is Pleasant Valley Sunday. The village’s only obstacle to Utopia is the gang of teenage hotrodders who tear ass up and down the narrow streets with no regard for courtesy or safety. When one of the rich hoods tries to run Jim down in the vet’s driveway, Kiler has the boys arrested. The parents don’t give enough of a damn about their spoiled brats to even show up for the trial, leading the judge to postpone the proceedings for a few months, giving the kids plenty of time to intimidate the Kilers using vandalism, threats, obscene phone calls and even dognapping. The police are powerless and the townspeople are scared, leaving it all up to Kiler to solve the problem on his own.

Clocking in at just about 70 minutes, this ABC-TV Movie of the Week is a tightly constructed and directed action tale with an All-American setting and perfectly hissable villains. Heffron and writer William Wood do a very good job building the tension within Culp’s character until the audience is practically begging for a release. Kiler certainly has no other option than to even the score against the rotten teens his way. Even though no “good” teenagers are shown in an effort to balance the scales, OUTRAGE isn’t a sermon against These Kids Today And Their Lack Of Respect For Their Elders. There’s no message here about vigilantism, juvenile delinquency or anything else. Just a good, solid thriller with strong work by Culp to sell it. Also with Jacqueline Scott, Ramon Bieri, Beah Richards, Thomas Leopold, Nicholas Hammond, Mark Lenard, Don Dubbins, James B. Sikking, Ivor Francis, Don Stark and Gary Clarke. Music by Jimmie Haskell.

OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE (1987)--Directed by Arthur Hiller. Stars Bette Midler, Shelley Long, Peter Coyote. Broad comedy about a pair of actresses (Midler, Long) who discover they share the same mysterious lover (Coyote). After he is apparently killed, the two women trail him to New Mexico with the KGB and CIA in hot pursuit. Another of Midler's comeback hits with Disney. Good support from George Carlin, John Schuck and Robert Prosky.

THE OUTSIDE MAN (1973)--Directed by Jacques Deray. Stars Jean-Louis Trintignant, Ann-Margret, Roy Scheider, Angie Dickinson. This French thriller was filmed entirely in Los Angeles. Trintignant (A MAN AND A WOMAN) plays Lucien, a hitman recruited from Paris to murder an L.A. mobster named Kovacs. He does so, efficiently and professionally, but is then surprised to learn that now he too is the object of an assassin's fury, that of gum-chewing Detroit shooter Lenny (Scheider). On the run in a foreign country with no friends or passport, Lucien teams up with Nancy (Ann-Margret), a former strip club owner who was forced out of business by Kovacs and is now reduced to serving drinks topless for a living.

Although marketed as a straight crime thriller with the trailer displaying nearly every shot fired and car crashed in the picture, THE OUTSIDE MAN also works as a character study of an amoral Stranger in a Strange Land and an interesting look at how America can often seem to those overseas. Deray delights in showing off the billboards and apartment houses of Los Angeles, and lingers over a bus station's pay electric razors and coin-operated television sets. Even the action scenes are quirky, with the climactic shootout in a cemetary--in which the decedent is buried sitting up (!)--filmed in a chaotic manner quite unlike the carefully choreographed setpieces were used to in American thrillers. Both Ann-Margret and Dickinson, as the dead mobster's wife, appear in bikinis, and Scheider makes a strong, cocky impression not long after his Oscar-nominated turn in THE FRENCH CONNECTION. Also with Georgia Engel of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, Felice Orlandi, Alex Rocco, Carmen Argenziano, Jackie Earle Haley, John Hillerman, Ben Piazza, Connie Kreski (the PLAYBOY centerfold who played Mercy in the self-indulgent Anthony Newley fiasco CAN HIERONYMOUS MERKIN EVER FORGET MERCY HUMPPE AND FIND TRUE HAPPINESS?), Talia Shire and Ted de Corsia. Michel Legrand's music more closely resembles a Roy Ayers blaxploitation score than anything else hes ever done. Known in France as FUNERALE A LOS ANGELES.

OUTSIDE OZONA (1998)--Directed by J.S. Cardone. Stars Robert Forster, David Paymer, Sherilyn Fenn, Beth Ann Styne, Kevin Pollak, Penelope Ann Miller, Lois Red Elk, Kateri Walker, Meat Loaf, Taj Mahal. West Texas can get awfully lonely at night. In OUTSIDE OZONA, we discover how several disparate personalities cope with an all-night jaunt cross the dark, empty desert, including a widowed trucker (Forster), a failed circus clown (Pollak) and his stripper wife (Miller), two bickering sisters (Fenn, Styne), a pretty Navajo woman (Red Elk) on a quest to show her grandmother (Walker) the Gulf of Mexico and a serial killer (Paymer). All listen to the same radio station, WKOK, the only station one can pick up so late at night in the middle of nowhere and one manned by a rebellious disc jockey (Taj Mahal) who plays blues and soul, rather than the honkytonk demanded by his frazzled boss (Meat Loaf). Don't look for plot in Cardone's screenplay; rather, OZONA is stocked with a handful of characters who drive and talk, then drive and talk some more. I really enjoyed Forster's sad-sack trucker, though this is a character he could play in his sleep. J.T. Walsh (BREAKDOWN) was reportedly signed for the role, but died before production could commence. And while I like Forster, it would have been interesting to see where perennial heavy Walsh would have taken the part. Pollak and Miller are too weak as performers to handle Cardone's often tongue-tied dialogue, although most of the heavier monologues, such as the one by Taj Mahal that closes the film, fall flat. Despite OZONA's direct-to-video appearance, Columbia/Tri-Star released it to a handful of theaters near the end of 1998.

OVERBOARD (1987)--Directed by Garry Marshall. Stars Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Edward Herrmann, Roddy McDowall. Amiable comedy about an obnoxious heiress (Hawn) who falls off of her yacht, swims to shore, and develops amnesia. Widowed carpenter Russell finds her and convinces her she is his wife and the mother of his three children. She manages to turn his shabby home around, just as husband Herrmann manages to track her down. The two stars are charming together, and there are enough laughs to keep you entertained.