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STRIP SEARCH (1997)--Directed by Rod Hewitt.
Stars Michael Pare, Caroline Neron, Pam Grier, Mackenzie Grey. Bobby Durrell (Pare), a straight-arrow vice cop in some
major metropolitan area that resembles Montreal (where this movie was filmed), is hired by a beautiful blond widow, Sela (Neron),
to find her stepdaughter, who was working as a stripper the last anyone heard from her. Bobby has enough on his mind,
thanks to the seven Chinese gangsters he just killed rescuing his gambling-addicted brother Lawrence (Grey) from their clutches,
but $10,000 for three days work is too much to turn down, so with his lesbian partner Jenette (Grier) agreeing to cover for
him with the brass, he takes the gig. Cursed with ludicrous dialogue ("You're makin' my big toe bounce in my boot."),
pretentious direction and inept action choreography straight from John Woo 101, STRIP SEARCH is a ludicrous mess, wasting
Grier's presence and even a decent performance by Pare. Also with Maury Chaykin, Lucie Laurier and Heidi von Palleske,
who later played Pare's wife on a Canadian TV series.
STRIPES (1981)--Directed by Ivan Reitman.
Stars Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Warren Oates, Sean Young, P.J. Soles. Long before Bill Murray was a critic's darling
and an Academy Award nominee, he was one of America's biggest box-office stars. With MEATBALLS, CADDYSHACK, STRIPES and GHOSTBUSTERS
(as well as an uncredited supporting role in TOOTSIE), Murray's wiseassed blue-collar irreverence made him an icon to high-school-
and college-aged audiences, to whom the ability to recite lines from Murray's films was a rite of passage. It was fun seeing
these movies when they were new, and it has been interesting to witness Murray's growth--as an actor and as a Hollywood force--in
the decades since.
STRIPES, which put director Ivan Reitman on the A-list, still,
twenty years later, suffers a bit from its clunky structure, implausible story and overlong action climax, but it's still
a must-see for those who want to experience the sardonic anarchy unique to the post-ANIMAL HOUSE period of American comedy.
Seeing STRIPES for the first time since the late 1980's, I was amazed by how much of the dialogue (much of it written by co-star
Harold Ramis) I remembered from those days when we all quoted it incessantly and how funny it still is.
John Winger (Murray) is a sad sack who loses his job, his
apartment, his car and his girlfriend in the same day. So why not join the Army? You get free clothes, right?
He talks his pal Russell (Ramis) into enlisting too, and soon they're in basic training, assigned to a platoon of soldiers
at least as incompetent as they and butting heads with their tough-as-nails drill instructor, Sgt. Hulka (Oates). Somehow,
they find the time to romance a pair of slinky M.P.'s (Young and Soles), which indirectly results, thanks to the machinations
of Len Blum, Dan Goldberg and Ramis' screenplay, in the four of them invading Czechoslovakia in an armored Winnebago.
What's really interesting about watching STRIPES today is
recognizing so many familiar faces who were not yet famous when the movie was released in the summer of 1981, but deliver
a mild jolt today ("Hey...that's...!"): Judge Reinhold (FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH), John Larroquette (NIGHT COURT), Dave
Thomas and Joe Flaherty from SCTV (Flaherty is really funny as a Russian sentries), Timothy Busfield (THIRTYSOMETHING), John
Diehl (MIAMI VICE), John Voldstad (NEWHART), Young (BLADE RUNNER) and Bill Paxton among them. Soles was hot at the time, coming
off HALLOWEEN and ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL, Ramis was a highly respected screenwriter and Second City vet who was making
his first splash as an actor, and John Candy's SCTV NETWORK 90 didn't premiere on NBC until the month before STRIPES did.
STRIPES' influence on today's crop of slob comedies is pretty
obvious too. Consider, for instance, Blue's Jell-O wrestling with topless women in OLD SCHOOL and Candy's mud wrestling with
topless women in STRIPES. And that's the fact, Jack. Elmer Bernstein's orchestral score is a rouser. Filmed in
Kentucky. Ramis and Murray worked together on six films before a mysterious breakup (Ramis claimed in TIME that he didn't
know what happened) severed their personal and professional relationship.
STROKER ACE (1983)--Directed
by Hal Needham. Stars Burt Reynolds, Loni Anderson, Jim Nabors, Parker Stevenson, Ned Beatty, Bubba Smith. If Burt's made
one worse than this, I don't want to see it. He's a womanizing, wisecracking racecar driver who signs a promotional contract
with fast-food chicken magnate Beatty. Burt is forced to wear a chicken suit, which actually may not be the most embarrassing
thing he's done on screen. Loni plays a bimbo virgin that Burt keeps trying to nail. Nabors has the Dom DeLuise role (where
the heck was Dom anyway?) as Burt's idiot sidekick. Skip it at all costs.
STRYKER (1983)--Directed by Cirio H. Santiago.
Stars Steve Sandor, Mike Lane, Andrea Savio. Another post-apoc junker directed in the Philippines by Santiago, STRYKER
stars American hunk Sandor (BONNIE'S KIDS) as Stryker, a desert wanderer who attempts to protect a woman (Savio) who knows
the location of a hidden water source. If you've seen WHEELS OF FIRE or any number of similar Santiago vehicles, you
know not to expect much in the logic or excitement departments. Sandor doesn't say too much, but the Jawa-lookin' midgets
are kinda weird. Lots of explosions and chases.
STUCK ON YOU! (1984)--Directed by Michael
Herz and Lloyd Kaufman. Stars Professor Irwin Corey, Virginia Penta, Mark Mikulski. Ten (!) screenwriters, including director
Kaufman, had a hand in writing the script, which is a typical (for the period) Troma Team sex comedy with slapstick, puns,
some gore and plenty of nudity. Feuding couple Carol (Penta) and Bill (Mikulski) face off against each other in court over
a palimony suit. Little do they know that their spastic judge, Gabriel (the inimitable Corey), is actually an angel sent from
heaven to earn his wings by getting the two back together. Using flashbacks, Gabriel tries to encourage the couple by telling
stories of other great romances like Adam & Eve. If the antics of Professor Irwin Corey normally leave you in stitches,
this comedy is for you. Troma made three other rowdy sex comedies around this time, before changing its image with the success
of THE TOXIC AVENGER. Kaufman's directorial credit was "Samuel Weil", since he was a member of the Director's Guild at the
time.
STUDENT BODIES (1981)--Directed by Michael Ritchie. Stars Kristen Riter, Matthew Goldsby, Richard
Brando, The Stick, Joe Flood, Joe Talarowski. This AIRPLANE!-influenced parody of slasher flicks is pretty lame, although
with this many jokes tossed against the wall, a few are bound to stick. ("Did you hang up?" "No, I just said 'click'.")
A
heavy-breathing psycho known as the Breather is wasting horny teens with such unusual objects as a paper clip, garbage bags
and a horse-head bookend. The school virgin, Toby (Riter), is accused of the murders, and sneaks into the prom disguised as
a streetwalker in an effort to catch the real killer. Of course, there are a number of red herrings, including Toby's clean-cut
male friend Hardy (Goldsby), gruff shop teacher Dumpkin (Flood), addle-brained principal Peters (Talarowski) and retarded,
double-jointed janitor Malvert, played by a very tall, skinny and goofy-looking actor billed only as The Stick. As politically
incorrect as the jokes at Malvert's expense are, they are the funniest in the movie. I don't know who The Stick is or where
he is today, but STUDENT BODIES only comes to life when he's onscreen. None of the cast did much before or after, although
the cute and likable Riter deserved to.
STUDENT BODIES reportedly was a troubled production--it was produced and directed
by the acclaimed Michael Ritchie (THE CANDIDATE, FLETCH) during a Hollywood strike, so he removed his name from the credits
(the ubiquitous Alan Smithee lands producer credit). Mickey Rose, who collaborated with Woody Allen on BANANAS and TAKE THE
MONEY ARE RUN, was the film's writer and receives his only directorial credit in Ritchie's place. Executive producers Jerry
Belson and Harvey Miller have some distinguished TV credits (THE ODD COUPLE, TAXI, LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE), but you wouldn't
know it from seeing this.
THE STUDENT BODY (1976)--Directed by Gus
Trikonis. Stars Warren Stevens, Jillian Kesner, Janice Heiden, June Fairchild, Peter Hooten. Three sexy inmates
are given a reprieve from prison and a chance at parole by volunteering as guinea pigs for an experiment being conducted by
a professor at a Kansas City college. The exercise is a sham, however, as Dr. Blalock (Stevens), in the pocket of the
U.S. government, administers a drug designed to increase, not decrease, the girls' already inflammable personalities and drive
them to violence. In between all the sex and hijinks, blond Carrie (Kesner), who has started dating Blalock's son Carter
(future Dr. Strange Hooten), discovers Blalock's treachery. Despite the presence of Trikonis and producer Ed Carlin,
who gave us the entertaining THE SWINGING BARMAIDS and MOONSHINE COUNTY EXPRESS, THE STUDENT BODY is tepid entertainment,
empty of humor, sex and intrigue. Granted, I saw Continental Video's shorn 75-minute print, but what was present wasn't
worth thinking about. The girls are attractive, though, and it was interesting to see perennial TV guest star Stevens
getting top billing. Also with David Ankrum, Vic Jolley and Judith Roberts. Music by Don Bagley and Steve Michaels.
THE
STUDENT NURSES (1970)--Directed by Stephanie Rothman. Stars Karen Carlson, Elaine Giftos, Brioni Farrell, Barbara
Leigh, Richard Rust, Reni Santoni. Began New World Pictures's exploitation series of "nurse" films, followed by movies about
teachers, stewardesses, etc. Carlson, Giftos, Farrell and Leigh are nursing students and roommates who encounter such adult
themes as abortion, revolution, acid trips, and euthanasia. All except Giftos have nude scenes, but they're handled tastefully.
Interesting T&A with a feminist slant, and it's better than you might expect coming from New World. Much of the material
has dated, but it's interesting to see what passed for drive-in fare in 1970. It's a heck of a lot more interesting than today's
Shannon Whirry movies. From the director of TERMINAL ISLAND. Rothman and her husband Charles S. Swartz also produced and contributed
the story. Executive producer was Roger Corman.
THE STUDENT TEACHERS (1973)--Directed by
Jonathan Kaplan. Stars Susan Damante, Brooke Mills, Brenda Sutton, John Kramer, Johnny Ray McGhee. Kaplan followed
up NIGHT CALL NURSES with an almost identical drive-in flick for producer Julie Corman, but instead of three nurses finding
love and fighting crime in the big city, writer Danny Opatoshu (HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD) penned a short (73 minutes) screenplay
about three TA's showing off some T&A. Rachel (Damante) struggles with her relationship with a swinging art teacher
(Kramer), Jody (Sutton) hooks up with fellow teachers to swindle an Italian drug dealer, and Tracy (Mills) tries a liberal
approach to teaching sex education, much to the consternation of the high school's old-school administration. Throw
in a rapist wearing a clown mask, and you wouldn't think these teachers had much time to, you know, teach. The dependable
Dick Miller has a nice role as a foul-mouthed sexist gym teacher, and keep an eye out for Chuck Norris in an early role as,
what else, a karate instructor. THE STUDENT TEACHERS is one of the better entries in New World Pictures' unofficial
"3 Girls" series, and was followed by SUMMER SCHOOL TEACHERS, also with Miller as a (different) gym teacher, in 1975.
Also with Charles Dierkop, James Milhollin, Bob Harris, Elyssa Davalos and Marilyn Joi. All three leads appear topless,
as does red-haired Tara Strohmeier (COVER GIRL MODELS), billed as Rose Cypress. Kaplan moved on from sexploitation to
blaxploitation, helming THE SLAMS and TRUCK TURNER next.
THE STUFF (1985)--Directed by Larry
Cohen. Stars Michael Moriarty, Andrea Marcovicci, Danny Aiello, Garrett Morris, Paul Sorvino, Patrick O'Neal. This horror
satire is one of Cohen's best films. Ex-FBI agent Moriarty discovers that the latest fast-food sweeping America is actually
a living organism that is addictive and ultimately fatal. Interesting anti-drug message by Cohen features offbeat performances
by Moriarty and Sorvino and clever spoofs of current trends and fads. Also with Abe Vigoda, Tammy Grimes and Brooke Adams.
From the director of GOD TOLD ME TO.
THE STUNT MAN (1980)--Directed by Richard Rush. Stars Steve
Railsback, Peter O'Toole, Barbara Hershey, Alex Rocco, Chuck Bail. Richard Rush's masterpiece of misdirection, wit and glorious
derring-do is one of American cinema's most original works, but remains a "mere" cult film, despite its commercial aspirations.
O'Toole was nominated for a Best Actor Academy Award for his performance, which remains one of his greatest in a filmography
which also includes classics like LAWRENCE OF ARABIA, BECKET and LORD JIM. That THE STUNT MAN stacks up cozily right next
to those acknowledged film classics says much for Rush's film.
Vietnam vet Cameron (Railsback), on the run from police
for circumstances we're initially ignorant of, finds sanctuary substituting for a stunt man killed on the set of a World War
I movie being made by megalomaniac director Eli Cross (O'Toole). Cross agrees to hide Cameron's identity from police liaison
Jake (Rocco) if Cameron will "become" dead stunt man Burt, which keeps Jake from shutting down the production and Cameron
out of jail. Cameron's perception of "reality vs. illusion" soon becomes confused, as he begins a relationship with self-absorbed
leading lady Nina Franklin (Hershey) while training with the film's earthy stunt coordinator Chuck Barton (Bail playing a
character loosely based on himself). Nothing is as it seems in Rush's framework, and we rarely know more than Cameron does
about what is real and what is merely movie make-believe--does Nina really love Cameron, for instance, or is she just pretending
to for the sake of the picture? After a rousing rooftop action scene gets a little hairy, Cameron begins to fear that Eli,
who lords over his crew like a 17th-century ruler, plans to murder him in the final scene to give his picture an extra dose
of "reality".
For Rush, who also produced and co-wrote the script with Lawrence B. Marcus, THE STUNT MAN is the culmination
of nearly a decade of planning, scrambling and trying to convince studios to bankroll his vision. His two previous pictures,
GETTING STRAIGHT and FREEBIE AND THE BEAN, were very successful moneymakers, but none of his previous work, which mostly consists
of biker films and low-budget melodramas, would suggest that a film as great as THE STUNT MAN resided inside of him. In fact,
he may have "shot his wad" with it, since, more than two decades later, only 1994's overwrought and extremely laughable COLOR
OF NIGHT has been added to Rush's filmography. His most successful films contain iconoclastic elements of rebellion (like
the "hero" bikers of THE SAVAGE SEVEN or the maverick cops FREEBIE AND THE BEAN) and extended, dysfunctional "families" (like
the hippies in PSYCH-OUT), and those elements are present in THE STUNT MAN as well.
What made the film so problematic
for Hollywood is that it doesn't fit into any film genre. It isn't an action film or a slapstick comedy or a drama or satire,
yet it contains components of all. Though the constant changes in tone--not just from scene to scene, but also within a scene--might
be distracting in a lesser film, Rush's sure hand and the skills of his actors keep this one steady. Railsback, whose specialty
is playing psychos (like Charles Manson in HELTER SKELTER), is perhaps not "normal" enough for Cameron, who represents our
"eyes" behind the scenes, but he does capture the right mixture of naivet and strength, and few actors play paranoia better
than Railsback (as X-FILES fans know all too well). Hershey probably wouldn't be many filmmakers' first choice to play The
Perfect Dream Girl, but Rush and cinematographer Mario Tosi (CARRIE) photograph her well, and she's able to reflect the proper
complexities of a character whose motives are unclear to us, as well as to Cameron. I liked Bail quite a bit too; his homespun
demeanor helps to ground the film in reality, and he serves as a perfect balance to the more fanciful personalities of the
others working on the film-within-the-film. The fact that Bail really is a renowned stunt man adds an extra dash of color
to the film.
Undoubtedly, THE STUNT MAN wouldn't be the critical success it is without the presence of O'Toole, who
sinks his teeth into a marvelously well-rounded character unlike any other he's ever played. Cross appears to be all over
the emotional spectrum--alternately witty and urbane, cruel and calculating, foppish, snide, soothing, paternal, vengeful...you
name it. What makes the character even more complex is that we rarely know when Cross is being "real" or when he's acting
at being soothing or cruel in order to manipulate the lives of his cast and crew for the sake of his film. Playing God is
a tough chore for any actor, but O'Toole proves he's up to the task, floating over his subjects on his "killer crane" and
often dropping into a scene unexpectedly to remind us that Eli is always watching.
Also with Allen Garfield, Sharon
Farrell, Adam Roarke, Philip Bruns, George Wallace and Michael Railsback (Steve's brother and inspired casting as Burt). Dominic
Frontiere's lively score won a Golden Globe, and projects a carnival atmosphere that nicely parallels the film's let's-put-on-a-show
tone. San Diego's Hotel del Coronado served as the film's principal location, although the bridge scenes were filmed near
Sacramento, California. Based on a novel by Paul Brodeur. In addition to O'Toole's nomination, Rush received a Best Director
Oscar nomination, as did Rush and Marcus for the screenplay.
Anchor Bay Entertainment has released THE STUNT MAN as
a Limited Edition 2-disc DVD set of just 100,000 copies. Now seen in its 1.85:1 aspect ratio for the first time since its
theatrical release, THE STUNT MAN looks as good as ever, I suppose, although there's no way of knowing whether the washed-out
colors and hazy backgrounds are due to Tosi's cinematography or someone's failure to preserve the original source materials.
It certainly looks better than Fox's now-out-of-print pan-and-scan videocassette. The sound isn't great either. Available
in Dolby Digital Surround EX, DTS ES and Dolby Surround 2.0 (it played theaters in mono), the soundtrack provides a few nice
background effects, but the dialogue was mixed too low and was sometimes hard to understand. No subtitles are included on
the DVD, but it is closed-captioned, if your television has that function.
Rush appears on the disc's commentary track,
along with actors O'Toole, Railsback, Hershey, Rocco, Bail and Farrell. It sounds as though Rush and O'Toole were each recorded
separately and mixed into the group commentary. The process works well, in that there's little dead space and everyone has
interesting tidbits to contribute. Everyone seems quite proud of the film, and O'Toole, one of cinema's greatest raconteurs,
has plenty of fun stories to share. Rush also contributes a pair of deleted scenes to the disc. The first, a short conversation
between O'Toole and Allen Garfield, adds more to the Cross character and maybe should have stayed in the final cut. The raucous
second scene is set at a police station, and, while maybe worth a laugh or two, is too jarring in tone from the rest of the
movie. Three trailers--one in Spanish--demonstrate that 20th Century Fox had little idea how to sell THE STUNT MAN to audiences,
and the hefty still gallery includes behind-the-scenes shots, production drawings and advertising art.
The biggest
extra gets its own disc to itself--THE SINISTER SAGA OF MAKING THE STUNT MAN, directed, written, produced and hosted by Richard
Rush, a nearly-two-hour feature shot on video in which Rush relates everything you ever wanted to know about THE STUNT MAN
and more that you didn't. It's inclusive all right, but also too self-aggrandizing and gimmicky in its approach. O'Toole,
Hershey, Railsback, Bail, Farrell and Tosi appear in interview segments, but added together they don't have as much screen
time as Rush, who may have an inflated ego but at least isn't too overbearing. Personally, I thought the extras on the first
disc were enough, but if you want to see how the Hotel del Coronado looks today or Regis Philbin reading a rave review of
the film, check out SINISTER SAGA for yourself. Both THE STUNT MAN and THE SINISTER SAGA are available separately, though
it's hard to believe there would be much interest in SAGA on its own.
Although I wish Rush had spent more time the
last two decades making new movies than fiddling with an old one, even one as great as THE STUNT MAN, I can't quibble with
the pride he feels for his baby. With its complex structure and rich characters and dialogue, THE STUNT MAN is a film that
demands multiple viewings, and now that Anchor Bay has provided us with a fine DVD, the ravings of Eli Cross and the subversive
personality of Richard Rush will be easily available forever.
STUNT ROCK (1978)--Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith.
Stars Grant Page, Sorcery. It's stunts! It's rock! It's magic! It's STUNT ROCK, one of the strangest,
craziest and most fun movies I've seen in awhile. Only in the 1970's could a film like this exist. What's interesting
is that Australian director Brian Trenchard-Smith, who went on to make the wild THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME ripoff TURKEY SHOOT
and the hard-to-believe-it-really-exists LEPRECHAUN IN SPACE, went to the trouble to include a plot in STUNT ROCK, even though
it really doesn't need one.
Daredevils and stuntmen were very popular during the late `70s and
early `80s. On television, shows like THE DUKES OF HAZZARD, THE FALL GUY and THAT'S INCREDIBLE were supreme. Burt
Reynolds had a huge hit playing a stuntman in HOOPER, which was directed by stunt veteran Hal Needham. And guys like
Dar Robinson and Evel Knievel were folk heroes, constantly risking life and limb for the sake of doing something dangerous
and crazy that no one had ever done before.
From the looks of it, Grant Page was the Australian equivalent of
Dar Robinson, who held the record for the longest freefall into an airbag doing a helicopter stunt in HOOPER. Before
Page became the stunt coordinator on MAD MAX, he went to Los Angeles to make STUNT ROCK, a viscerally exciting mixture of
stunt footage and theatrical rock-and-roll. Page plays Grant Page, a stuntman from Down Under who goes to L.A. to work
on the (fictional) TV series UNDERCOVER GIRL starring Dutch (!) actress Monique van de Ven. While in California, he
meets up with his cousin, a member of the rock band Sorcery. Sorcery is similar to dozens of hard rock bands of the
period, except for one thing: they performed magic on stage. Two of the band's members didn't play music at all; rather,
in their guises as a wizened but good wizard and a demonic warlock, they performed highly theatrical magic tricks during the
songs. Dangerous-looking ones too, judging from the amount of fire they used.
STUNT ROCK mostly bounces back and forth between Sorcery on stage
and Page on his "stage", performing several different stunts, such as freefalls, fire gags and car crashes. And when
he runs out of stunts, Trenchard-Smith turns to film clips from movies like GONE IN 60 SECONDS and MAD DOG MORGAN. Every
few minutes, the plot rears its head, focusing on Page's platonic relationships with Monique and with Lois (Margaret Gerard),
a reporter doing a story on stuntmen. The story isn't much, but at least it provides brief respites between action sequences
and rock songs. STUNT ROCK would make for a good double-bill with STUNTS, a mystery starring Robert Forster as a movie
stuntman investigating the murder of his stuntman brother.
STUNT SQUAD (1977)—Directed by Domenico Paolella.
Stars Marcel Bozzuffi, Vittorio Mezzogiorno. Roman police inspector Griffi (Bozzuffi, Gene Hackman’s co-star in
THE FRENCH CONNECTION) organizes a squad of the department’s best drivers, riders, marksmen and fighters to tackle a
deadly protection racket crippling the city’s storekeepers. The organization, led by murderous psycho Valli (Mezzogiorno),
thinks nothing of bombing innocent people to frighten their neighbors into paying up. It takes a while for this middling
Italian crime drama to get going, and once it piles on the chases and stunts, it’s quite entertaining. Perhaps
Paolella is too restrained for this material, as I prefer the excess of directors like Enzo Castellari and Sergio Martino,
who really know how to keep a picture like this moving.
STUNTS (1977)--Directed by Mark L. Lester.
Stars Robert Forster, Joanna Cassidy, Fiona Lewis, Ray Sharkey, Bruce Glover, Malachi Throne, Darrell Fetty, Richard Lynch,
James Luisi, Candice Rialson. This celebration of the movie stuntman came out when daredevils were at their height.
From Evel Knievel to HOOPER, movie and television screens were filled with thrilling gags. Police dramas like FREEBIE
AND THE BEAN and STARSKY AND HUTCH were riding high, Burt Reynolds was burning rubber in movies often directed by stuntman
Hal Needham, and the early 1980's brought us THE FALL GUY, an ABC series starring Lee Majors as a stuntman/bounty hunter.
Shows like THAT'S INCREDIBLE often spotlighted real-life danger seekers.
Unfortunately for undiscriminating action fans, these days are long
gone. When's the last time you saw a decent car roll or high fall? Or even a well-paced foot chase? With
"wire fu" and digital technology taking over for old-fashioned guts and inexperienced film directors who substitute shaky
camerawork and ultra-fast editing for solid craftsmanship, movies like STUNTS seem almost quaint. I was stunned to hear
director Robert Zemeckis in his commentary for the USED CARS DVD point out a stunt that couldn't be done today, only because
no stuntman would dare to attempt it. If you're a sucker for a good fire gag or car crash, STUNTS is an effective B-movie
that spotlights some of the era's best stuntmen, such as Joie Chitwood, Dar Robinson and stunt coordinator Paul Nuckles.
After his brother is killed while dangling from a helicopter for
an action film being shot near San Luis Obispo, California, stuntman Glen Wilson (Forster) takes his place in the unit, ostensibly
to successfully perform the same stunt, but really to investigate what happened. Joining him on the set is English journalist
B.J. (Lewis), who's doing a behind-the-scenes piece for ACTION magazine. While poking his nose into the equipment van,
trying to figure out what could have caused his brother to die trying a stunt he had developed himself, Glen renews acquaintances
with fellow performers Paul (Sharkey), Patti (Cassidy) and Chuck (Glover). He soon realizes his brother's death was
no accident when more stuntmen are killed, leading him to no shortage of red herrings. Is the killer suspicious special
effects man Pete (Lynch)? How about publicity-seeking producer Alvin Blake (Luisi)? Or local stuntman wannabe
Dave (Fetty) or hotsy-totsy starlet Judy (Rialson)? The film's director, Earl O'Brien (Throne), is always urging his
crew to make the action tougher and faster; maybe he's taking his insistence on realism to the extreme?
While STUNTS is more or less a murder mystery complete with black-gloved
killer, the emphasis is on the stuntwork and the camaraderie among those special people who perform them. Holding another
man's life in one's hands in the midst of death-defying feats takes a special breed, and STUNTS does a nice job showing off
the professionalism and bond that holds that small community together. Lester has assembled an expert cast, including
Forster as his trademark blue-collar guy with a moral code, which helps bring believability to Dennis Johnson & Barney
Cohen's farfetched story.
And if you love stunts, there are plenty of those too. Michael
Kamen scored the movie, which was originally released by New Line Cinema. It has also been seen as WHO IS KILLING THE
STUNTMEN?, a simplistic though accurate title. A peculiar quirk of the print I saw left in epithets such as "bullshit"
and "son of a bitch", yet blipped out "Goddammit" and "Jesus Christ" (although one or two slipped in anyway). Cohen
went on to write slasher flicks and SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH on television. From the director of CLASS OF 1984.
SUBMERGED (2000)--Directed by Fred Olen Ray.
Stars Brent Huff, Dennis Weaver, Tim Thomerson. Gobs of footage snitched from AIRPORT 1975 punctuate this, um, all-star
disaster movie, another Phoenician Entertainment quickie ground out quickly by Ray and screenwriter Steve Latshaw. Thunder
Strike is a powerful new weapons system developed by a company owned by wealthy Texan Buck Stevens (Weaver). Transporting
it cross-country on his private 747, Stevens is hijacked by a group of terrorists led by Owen (Thomerson), who orchestrates
his plan from dry land. The plane is purposely crashed into the ocean, where Thomerson's divers are waiting to board
the plane, steal the system and split, leaving the survivors, including Buck's security guard Mack (Huff), to not only survive
being submerged, but prevent Owen from using Thunder Strike as well. Latshaw's script is achingly bereft of logic, and
the 23-year-old AIRPORT 1975 stock footage is glaringly obvious in its film stock and the hairstyles of the performers in
it. It's nice to see Weaver in such a prominent role, and Ray gets more mileage out of veteran performers like Thomerson,
Art Hindle and Fred Williamson than most directors would. Also with Nicole Eggert, Hannes Jaenicke, Coolio, Yvette Nipar,
Maxwell Caulfield, Stacey Travis, Meilani Paul, Michael B. Silver, Richard Gabai and Brinke Stevens as a silent bartender.
SUBMERGED (2005)--Directed by Anthony Hickox.
Stars Steven Seagal. It’s amazing and more than a little sad just how pathetic Seagal’s 21st-century output
has been. Not only is he overweight and barely attempting to even sleepwalk through these direct-to-video stinkers,
but he can’t even be bothered to loop his own dialogue. Some of it is spoken by Seagal on-set using a strange
accent, a little bit of it is Seagal forgetting to use the accent, and most of the dialogue is dubbed by a different actor
who sounds about as much like Seagal as Eddie Deezen. Nu Image originally marketed this made-in-Bulgaria junk as a SF/horror
film about underwater mutants, but unfortunately made this film instead. As badass commando Chris Cody, Seagal is sprung
from prison by a corrupt American government to rescue some soldiers and is embroiled in a plot involving mind control and
the hijacking of a nuclear submarine. The subjacking is actually not much more than a subplot, and Hickox blows an opportunity
to stage a really good martial arts battle between Seagal and DTV leading man Gary Daniels, squandered in a minor part here.
It’s no wonder that Seagal can churn out two or three films a year, considering how little work he puts into them.
Also with Vinnie Jones, Nick Brimble and some glaring continuity errors.
THE SUBSTITUTE (1996)--Directed by Robert
Mandel. Stars Tom Berenger, Ernie Hudson, Diane Venora, William Forsythe. OK action flick with plenty of violence and better
performances than you might expect. Berenger is Shale, a Vietnam vet mercenary who retires after a mission goes bad in Cuba.
His girlfriend (Venora) is a high-school teacher in South Florida, who becomes incapacitated after being attacked on the beach
by a Seminole with a baseball bat. Shale decides to serve as her substitute teacher, simultaneously investigating the gang
members responsible for her attack and wiping out the drug ring led by the schools kung-fu-fighting principal (Hudson). The
cast seems aware of the outrageousness of the plot, and while there isn't really anything new here, it's a pleasant enough
timewaster. Music by Gary Chang.
THE SUBSTITUTE 2: SCHOOL'S OUT (1998)--Directed
by Steven Pearl. Stars Treat Williams, B.D. Wong, Christopher Cousins, Angel David. Tom Berenger's Shale (who's
mentioned briefly) gives way to Williams' Karl Thomasson, who became the titular sub in three direct-to-video sequels to 1996's
THE SUBSTITUTE. After his brother Randall (Cousins), a teacher at an inner-city high school, is murdered, Karl takes
over his class in an attempt to learn the identities of the hooded carjackers who did it. The job is more like that
of a prison guard than a history teacher, as the students are literally caged up like inmates with barbed wire surrounding
the wing where the more troubled kids are sentenced. With the help of his old war buddy Joey Six (David in a role that
was played by a different actor in THE SUBSTITUTE) and a battle-scarred 'Nam vet janitor, Karl discovers a hot car ring operating
right under the noses of the high school's crack (more like crackheaded) security staff and run by the seemingly sensitive
shop teacher (LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIM UNIT's calm psychologist Wong). The kingpin's identity will come as little
surprise to anyone who has seen a few of these cheap action movies and no surprise to anyone who has seen the original SUBSTITUTE,
since Pearl's sequel is more or less a remake of that film. There's actually precious little action, but Williams' likable
performance was enough to keep me enthralled in Roy Frumkes and Rocco Simonelli's absurd and surprisingly racist story.
Also with Susan May Pratt (CENTER STAGE) as Karl's teenage daughter, Michael Michele (HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET), Guru,
Edoardo Ballerini, Larry Gilliard Jr. and Daryl Edwards. Filmed in Brooklyn. Music by Joe Delia.
THE SUBSTITUTE 3: WINNER TAKES ALL (1999)--Directed
by Robert Radler. Stars Treat Williams, Rebecca Staab, Claudia Christian, James Black, Richard Portnow. Mercenary
Karl Thomasson (Williams) heads to Long Island to investigate an assault on the daughter (Staab) of a combat buddy who was
killed in Kosovo. She's a college English professor whom Karl suspects was beaten by football players at Eastern Atlantic
University she was planning to flunk off the team. Taking Staab's place in the classroom, Karl, aided by sword-swingin'
merc Rahmel (Black) and sexy tough girl Andy (Christian), follows the trail of violence to the head football coach, who's
trafficking in illegal steroids, which he dishes out to his players to provide him with his first winning season in years,
and further to the local Mafia run by Vincent LoRusso (Portnow). Radler directs perfunctorily on the 16-day shooting
schedule he was provided, but the dialogue and plot are strictly TV crime drama material. It even looks like a television
show, except for some mild gore and hilariously gratuitous nude scenes. Portnow and the actors playing his mob aren't
strong enough villains to go toe-to-toe with the charismatic Williams, who brings humor and a breezy affability to his butt-kicking
role. Williams, Radler and fight coordinator Simon Rhee reunited for another SUBSTITUTE a year later. Filmed in
Salt Lake City.
THE SUBSTITUTE 4: FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION
(2000)--Directed by Robert Radler. Stars Treat Williams, Angie Everhart, Patrick Kilpatrick. This slackly directed
sequel stands up as something to catch your attention when it pops up on HBO at 1:00 am (which is where I saw it). Williams,
who also starred in the two previous SUBSTITUTEs, is assigned by his former colonel to infiltrate a Georgia military academy
run by flinty Colonel Brack (Kilpatrick). Brack, a racist, is brainwashing select cadets to serve in his top-secret
Werewolf white supremacist organization, which he uses to blow up power plants owned by minorities. Supermodel Everhart
plays Jenny, the campus doctor (who is never seen performing any type of medical deed) who catches Karl's eye. Williams,
who is usually much better than the material in which he frequently finds himself, lands a couple of nice moments here, and
acquits himself in the action scenes as well. The fight choreography by co-star Simon Rhee isn't all that great however,
and the anti-climax doesn't carry nearly the oomph that it should. Bill Nunn is a punch-drunk janitor, while Everhart
and Laura-Shay Griffin as Brack's tarty cocktail waitress daughter appear nude. Music by Steve Edwards. From the
director of the V.I.P. and 18 WHEELS OF JUSTICE TV series.
SUDDEN DEATH (1975)--Directed by Eddie Romero.
Stars Robert Conrad, Felton Perry, Don Stroud, John Ashley, Nancy Conrad. Considering the macho cast and Romero’s
experience shooting quickie action and horror movies on location, SUDDEN DEATH should be a lot more fun than it is.
The fight scenes and chases are not bad, when they occur, which is not often enough. Ex-agent Duke Smith (Conrad), in
retirement in the Philippines with his teenage daughter (played by his real-life daughter Nancy) and Filipino girlfriend,
teams up with his wisecracking, jivetalking, karate expert pal Wyatt (Perry) to investigate the murder of an entire family
by businessmen. Stroud, who played Conrad’s buddy in MURPH THE SURF, is an expensive hitman hired by double-dealing
spy Ashley (also the film’s producer) to knock Duke off. As good as he would have been in action programmers like
this one, Conrad made very few movies, though he was on television nearly every week during the 1970s, which probably paid
much better than this. Ashley retired from acting and moved back to the U.S. to become a full-time producer.
SUDDEN IMPACT (1983)--Directed by Clint Eastwood.
Stars Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Paul Drake, Bradford Dillman, Audrie J. Neenan, Pat Hingle. Fourth DIRTY HARRY movie was
a smash hit thanks to Clint's line "Go ahead, make my day", which was even used by President Ronald Reagan in a press conference.
Inspector Callahan (Eastwood) kills so many people that he is suspended and sent on vacation to a small California town, where
he discovers more murders are being committed. Clint's direction is steady as usual, and there's plenty of violent action,
but Locke is a weak villain. Music by Lalo Schifrin.
SUDDENLY (1954)--Directed by Lewis Allen.
Stars Frank Sinatra, Sterling Hayden. I don’t know why Sinatra followed up his great role in FROM HERE TO ETERNITY
with this cheap UA B-picture, but he makes the most of it. It’s a bit like DESPERATE HOURS, as a crazed hired
gunman (Sinatra) and two goons invade the picturesque home of a former Secret Service agent, his widowed daughter-in-law and
her young son. The President of the United States is planning to pass through their rinky-dink town, and the train station
is located right next to the house…where Sinatra plans to assassinate the man with his sniper rifle. Caught between
the two sides is small-town sheriff Hayden, who uses the downtime before the President’s arrival to try to distract
Sinatra and throw him off his game. The performances are terrific and Allen builds suspense well, considering so much
of the film takes place in one or two rooms. It helps that Sinatra’s character is so loathsome, the audience believes
he’s capable of any evil act. Also with James Gleason, Nancy Gates, Paul Frees, Clark Howat, John Beradino and
Willis Bouchey. Filmed over four weeks, partially in Saugus, California. Edward L. Cahn's THREE CAME TO KILL with
Cameron Mitchell is an uncredited remake.
THE SUM OF ALL FEARS (2002)--Directed by
Phil Alden Robinson. Stars Ben Affleck, Morgan Freeman. Affleck jumps into the action-hero shoes of Alec Baldwin
and Harrison Ford, becoming the third leading man to embody Tom Clancy's literary techno-hero Jack Ryan. How Ryan de-aged
25 years isn't known, but he's now single and working as an analyst for the CIA. Presidential advisor Bill Cabot (Freeman)
recruits his assistance when a relative unknown about whom Ryan had written a college paper is named the new premier of Russia.
After terrorists explode a nuclear weapon inside an NFL stadium, destroying the entire city of Baltimore, the U.S., which
blames Russia, is headed for World War III, which only Ryan, with his knowledge of the new government, can prevent.
Top-notch production values and supporting actors can't salvage this very talky summer blockbuster, which also suffers from
a drippy leading man. Jerry Goldsmith is merely going through the motions, composing Stirring Action Score #218, and
Freeman can play the Wizened Authority Figure/Mentor in his sleep. Also with Bridget Moynihan, James Cromwell, Liev
Schreiber (who might have been a more interesting choice to play Ryan), Alan Bates, Ron Rifkin, Philip Baker Hall, Josef Sommer
and Bruce McGill. Clancy was an executive producer, although he mustn't have protested when Paramount changed his novel's
Arab antagonists into neo-Nazis.
SUMMER RENTAL (1985)—Directed by Carl Reiner.
Stars John Candy, Richard Crenna, Karen Austin, Kerri Green, Rip Torn, John Larroquette. Candy is his usual likable
self in this fluffy comedy certain to offend nobody. As a stressed-out air traffic controller, he takes his wife (Austin)
and kids on a Florida vacation. Shenanigans, often involving Candy being embarrassed or frustrated, ensue. The
big subplot comes into play somewhere in the middle, when Candy bets obnoxious millionaire Crenna that he can beat him in
an upcoming sailing competition. A perfect example of light entertainment made for viewers lazing on their couches on
a Saturday afternoon, SUMMER RENTAL is formulaic, though not without its charm. Crenna and Torn (as a pirate running
a fish restaurant) have a high old time and a Florida vacation to boot. One wonders about Austin’s subplot with
friendly divorced man Larroquette, which has been cut out of the picture so much that what’s left is confusing.
Also with Joey Lawrence, Carmine Caridi, Richard Herd, Lois Hamilton, Dick Anthony Williams and a multiplex that oddly plays
only Paramount features.
SUMMER SCHOOL (1987)--Directed by Carl Reiner.
Stars Mark Harmon, Kirstie Alley, Courtney Thorne-Smith, Dean Cameron, Patrick Labyorteaux. There isn’t much here
that will last more than ten seconds after you turn the movie off, but it’s an amiable enough timewaster while it’s
on. TV actor Harmon is a lazy, unorthodox high-school gym teacher who is coerced into teaching English to a classroom
full of remedial students and stands to be fired if they don't pass the big exam. Alley is a fellow teacher Harmon falls
for, while a pre-MELROSE PLACE Thorne-Smith is a surfer chick who falls for him. Cameron, as gorehound Chainsaw, appears
to be a favorite character, but I just find him annoying. Also with Gary Riley, Robin Thomas, Ken Olandt, Shawnee Smith,
Fabiana Udenio, Tom Troupe and a cameo by Reiner. After leaving ST. ELSEWHERE, Harmon spent the rest of the 1980’s
trying to carve himself a big-screen career. He didn’t, and ended up back on television, where his light charm
is a better fit.
SUMMER SCHOOL TEACHERS (1975)--Directed by
Barbara Peeters. Stars Candice Rialson, Pat Anderson, Rhonda Leigh Hopkins, Dick Miller. Following in the footsteps
of New World hits like THE STUDENT TEACHERS and CANDY STRIPE NURSES comes this interesting feminist tract disguised as a T&A
film. Three Midwestern farmgirls move to Los Angeles to teach high school and maybe find love in the process.
Blond Conklin T. (Rialson) teaches girls' P.E. and tries to organize an all-female football team, much to the consternation
of male chauvinist athletic director Sam (Miller, who later appeared with Rialson in HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD). Science teacher
Denise (cute Hopkins) falls for a teenage hood who gets kidnapped by a car theft gang, while Sally (Anderson) teaches photography
and poses for some sexy shots of her own.
Typically for these New World formula films, SUMMER SCHOOL TEACHERS
fulfills the requirements of an exploitation movie with copious nudity and slapstick humor, but also contains serious subtext.
As written and directed by Peeters (HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP) and produced by Julie Corman (wife of executive producer Roger
Corman), SUMMER SCHOOL TEACHERS is deep down a feminist treatise on women's liberation and empowerment in which, yep, the
girls get naked, but only on their own terms for their own pleasure. Conklin and Company are the smartest characters
in the movie, and use both their brains and bodies to break down "the Man's" rule. I'm not advocating SUMMER SCHOOL
TEACHERS as any kind of classic, but it's much more ambitious than those who turn down their noses at drive-in flicks would
be willing to admit. Also with Will Carney, Vince Barnett, Norman Bartold, PHANTASM's Bill Thornbury, Beach Dickerson
and MACON COUNTY LINE director Michael Miller. Music by J.J. Jackson. Mel Damski (YELLOWBEARD) was the second
unit director. Dixie Peabody, who starred in Peeters' previous BURY ME AN ANGEL, was her production assistant on TEACHERS.
SUNBURN (1979)--Directed by Richard C. Sarafian.
Stars Farrah Fawcett-Majors, Charles Grodin, Art Carney, Joan Collins. Grodin and Fawcett-Majors are an unlikely couple in
this frothy adventure/comedy filmed in Acapulco. Insurance investigator Jake (Grodin) is sent to Mexico to investigate the
death of a wealthy man with a $5 million life insurance policy. Teaming up with beautiful model Ellie (Fawcett-Majors)--undercover
as Jake's wife--and grizzled ex-P.I. Marcus (Carney), Jake snoops into the lives of his rich neighbors, including philandering
wife Collins, and engages in a swashbuckling final-reel rescue. The story, co-written by TERMINATOR executive producer John
Daly (head of Hemdale, which financed the James Cameron picture) and actor James Booth, is a mess, bouncing from location
to location with no sense of rhythm and introducing seemingly important characters only to drop them, but Sarafian sets a
breezy pace, and the actors look like they're having fun (they ought to--they're in Acapulco, for crying out loud!).
Farrah
did three pictures immediately after leaving CHARLIE'S ANGELS. All three, including the similar SOMEBODY KILLED HER HUSBAND
and SATURN 3, were flops, and Farrah wasn't taken seriously until her Emmy-nominated turn in THE BURNING BED. Also with William
Daniels, Keenan Wynn, Eleanor Parker, John Hillerman, Jack Kruschen, Robin Clarke, Alejandro Rey and Seymour Cassel (one of
those characters that strangely and inexplicably vanishes from the movie). John Cameron composed the score; Herbie Hancock,
10cc and Paul McCartney & Wings ("With A Little Luck") provide songs.
SUNDOWN: THE VAMPIRE IN RETREAT
(1989)--Directed by Anthony Hickox. Stars Bruce Campbell, David Carradine, Deborah Foreman. Fun western/horror/comedy with
a great cast about a townful of vampires that squares off against one another. Campbell is a blast as a bumbling vampire hunter
who comes to the desert town of Purgatory to knock off the bad vampires. Also with Morgan Brittany, John Ireland, M. Emmet
Walsh, Jim Metzler, Maxwell Caulfield and Dana Ashbrook. Music by Richard Stone. Filmed in Utah.
SUNSET COVE (1978)—Directed by Al Adamson.
Stars Jay B. Larson, John Durren, Burr Schmidt, John Carradine. This may be the most competent Adamson movie I’ve
seen yet. It’s pointless, but that isn’t unusual for this genre. A group of high school students react
to the news that a 41-floor condominium is being built on their beach by fighting back, not by petitions, but by stripping
the corrupt mayor of his underpants and taking pictures of him nakedly chasing two sexy topless girls across the beach.
Much beer-drinking and sex ensue, though SUNSET COVE is warmer and less mean-spirited than many teen comedies. The kids
pull pranks, but no one is really hurt. Interestingly, the fat kid is seen stuffing his face with food all the time,
but all the kids like him and treat him like an equal. Crown International’s MALIBU BEACH, released the same year,
was also seen as SUNSET COVE, and that film is better. Carradine shows up briefly at the end to straighten the plot
out in court.
SUNSHINE (2007)—Directed by Danny Boyle.
Stars Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans, Michelle Yeoh, Rose Byrne, Cliff Curtis, Troy Garity, Benedict Wong. This crashing
bore from the director/writer team behind THE BEACH and 28 DAYS LATER contains one of the lamest final reels in recent history,
a real “jump the shark” moment that upgrades the film from “dull” to “stupid.” Eight
astronauts lead a mission into outer space to launch a bomb into the dying sun that will rejuvenate it. As much as I
like outer space movies, this one plays notes from several other (better) movies, such as ALIEN, DARK STAR, MISSION TO MARS,
STAR TREK, SILENT RUNNING and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. Even A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, for Chrissake. Boyle’s
substandard storytelling will have you scratching your head most of the time, alternately muttering “How?” and
“Why?” with an occasional “What th--?” tossed in.
THE SUNSHINE BOYS (1975)--Directed by Herbert
Ross. Stars George Burns, Walter Matthau, Richard Benjamin. Burns (making his first film in 36 years!) and Matthau are an
engaging screen duo in this Neil Simon adaptation. They play a once-famous vaudeville team who, since their breakup years
before, has been engaged in a bitter feud. Matthau's agent nephew (Benjamin) tries to get them to reunite for an upcoming
television show. Both stars are fantastic; though it was Burns who won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar (for what is really
a lead actor's role). Also with Lee Meredith, Carol Arthur and Howard Hesseman as a TV-commercial director.
SUPER
FUZZ (1980)--Directed by Sergio Corbucci. Stars Terence Hill, Ernest Borgnine, Joanne Dru. If you watched
enough HBO during the early 1980’s, you undoubtedly saw this goofy Italian comedy several times. A rookie Miami
policeman, Dave Speed (Hill), is accidentally exposed to radiation which imbues him with super powers. His older partner
(Borgnine, overacting even more than usual) refuses to believe Speed’s story, even after the rookie somehow survives
a ten-story fall. The two bust up a Mafia counterfeiting ring, while Borgnine gets goo-goo eyes for aging screen queen
Dru. The silly musical score, complete with a chorus that sings, “Super Super!“, whenever Hill demonstrates
his powers, is hard to get out of your head. As is the dopey climax where Borgnine floats from the ocean floor on a
giant piece of bubble gum and then falls at such speed that he and Dave crash clear through the Earth all the way to China.
Also with Marc Lawrence and Sal Borgese.
THE SUPER INFRAMAN (1975)--Directed by Hua
Shan. Stars Danny Lee Sau-yin, Terry Liu Hui-ru, Wang Hsia. Watching the colorful and crazy Shaw Brothers comic
strip is an enormously fun experience. Even though the subtitles were quite small and hard to read, I quickly realized
the fast-paced action scenes outnumbered lines of dialogue anyway, and the simple plot is pretty easy to follow. Sexy
Princess Elzibub (Liu) and her hit squad of rubber monsters are creating earthquakes and other natural disasters in an effort
to conquer the Earth. To fight back, an elderly scientist (Hsia) creates Inframan (Lee), a super-powered martial artist
clad in red armor and armed with weapons like "Lethal Kick" and "Lightning Fists". These come in handy when fighting
Elzibub's monsters, which include a giant octopus, several skeleton warriors and a green...um...I don't know what it is.
Obviously an influence on MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS, THE SUPER INFRAMAN is great goofy fun for kids that adults can also
get a kick out of. Believe it or not, it appeared in American theaters as INFRA-MAN in 1976 and received a thumbs-up
from Roger Ebert!
SUPER SIZE ME (2004)--Directed by Morgan Spurlock.
Stars Morgan Spurlock. Spurred on by news reports of two obese teenage girls who sued McDonald's, blaming the fast-food
chain for their excessive weight, documentarian Spurlock decided to find out first-hand just how harmful the cuisine at the
Golden Arches is. For 30 days, he ate only items that could be found on the McDonald's menu--including water--and even
"Super Sized" his meal if the employee at the counter asked him to. The results were astounding--weight gain, depression,
headaches, sexual dysfunction. To see the gregarious Spurlock transformed into a blotchy zombie before our very eyes
is to believe in the insidious business practices of one of America's most beloved symbols. But SUPER SIZE ME isn't
just a McDonald's hatchet job. He also examines the eating habits of school children, including the origin of the hot
lunches served to them in the cafeteria, and the manner in which producers of unhealthy food advertise it to kids. He
makes periodic visits to his physicians, who express astonishment at how quickly his body is deteriorating. And through
it all, Spurlock's girlfriend--ironically, a vegan chef--stands by him, clucking her tongue impatiently. A fascinating,
educational documentary with a poignant revelation about our fast-food society.
SUPER STOOGES VS. THE WONDER WOMEN--See
AMAZONS AND SUPERMEN.
SUPER
TROOPERS (2002)--Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar. Stars Jay Chandrasekhar,
Steve Lemme, Kevin Hefferman, Paul Soter, Erik Stolhanske. A comedy troupe
called Broken Lizard wrote and star in this ribald slob comedy (director Chandrasekhar is one of them too) about a small group
of Vermont Highway Patrolmen so bored with their jobs that they liven it up by playing pranks on one another and the unsuspecting
citizens they pull over on the interstate. It may be placing bets on how many
times they can slip the word "meow" into the conversation while writing a ticket or disguising themselves and engaging fellow
cops in high-speed pursuits. There is a token plot about the troopers' office
being shut down in a budget cut and an investigation into marijuana smugglers, but what's really interesting about SUPER TROOPERS
is the camaraderie among the cast and its friendly humor. Considering the state
of contemporary film comedy, I was surprised that, although some is there, Broken Lizard didn't rely heavily on sex and scatological
humor, focusing more on silly wordplay and good-natured slapstick. Several gags
are laugh-out-loud funny, and I'm looking forward to the group's next film, rumored to be a horror spoof. Also with Brian Cox (MANHUNTER), Daniel Von Bargen (THE POSTMAN), Marisa Coughlin, Jim Gaffigan, John Bedford
Lloyd (THE THING) and Lynda "Wonder Woman" Carter as the Governor. Chandrasekhar
has directed episodes of the FOX sitcom UNDECLARED.
SUPERARGO
AND THE FACELESS GIANTS (1967)--Directed by Paolo Bianchini. Stars Ken Wood, Guy Madison, Liz Barrett.
If you don't expect to see any faceless giants, this Italian mixture of superhero and spy antics is pretty fun. Former
pro wrestler-turned-superspy Superargo (Wood re: Giovanni Cianfriglia) is a deep-voiced muscleman in a black mask and bulletproof
red tights. Since his last appearance in SUPERARGO VS. DIABOLICUS, Superargo has added a new weapon to his repertoire,
levitation, as taught him by his Indian sidekick Kamir. Nearly twenty of the world's finest athletes, from long-distance
runners to wrestlers, have been kidnapped over the last two years, and the Secret Service is finally getting around to doing
something about it. In these movies, law enforcement agencies are always incapable of solving crimes by themselves,
so the Secret Service calls upon Superargo to help out. It seems "faceless giants", actually expressionless robots with
super-strength and no minds of their own, are snatching the jocks. After Superargo's first plan, dangling a beautiful
female swimmer as bait, fails, he returns to the wrestling ring in an attempt to set himself up as a victim. The real
culprits are Dr. Wond (Madison) and his lovely assistant Gloria (Barrett), who have swiped Gloria's institutionalized father's
robot-manufacturing formula to build the "faceless giants" so they can...uh, well...I don't know what their plan is, although
they do rob a couple of banks. Not that it matters, since GIANTS is a superhero film that does it right for the most
part. Wood, like Clayton Moore, never once sheds his mask and tights, eschewing any real-world trappings for complete
concentration on his mission. Location shooting in a real cave adds production value, and the color, musical score,
fights and special effects will make you feel like a kid again. American B-movie star Madison played Wild Bill Hickok
in a TV series and several features before heading to Europe in the 1960's. THE FANTASTIC ARGOMAN, released the same
year, appears to either a ripoff or a spoof of the SUPERARGO films. Onscreen title is SUPERARGO.
SUPERBAD (2007)—Directed by Greg Mottola.
Stars Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Seth Rogen, Bill Hader. This funny teen comedy from the Judd
Apatow factory (the KNOCKED UP director produced it) is a foul-mouthed and oddly sweet all-nighter about three high-school
seniors trying to buy beer, hoping it will lead or even trick girls into sleeping with them. While vulgar fat dude Seth
(Hill) and his hesitant skinny best pal Evan (Cera) face their uncertain futures separated by different colleges, as well
as dope-crazed partygoers looking to get their fight on, their nerdy pal Fogell (discovery Mintz-Plasse), newly proud owner
of a fake ID identifying him with the single moniker “McLovin,” ends up on patrol with two immature cops (co-writer
Rogen and SNL’s Hader).
While some may be uncomfortable with the movie’s obsession
with foul language and underage drinking, SUPERBAD could almost fit comfortably next to PORKY’S and other sex-obsessed
teen movies from the 1970s and early-‘80s. The music and fashions are straight out of the ‘70s (these teens
are the only high school kids in America to play disco at their parties), but Mottola falls down in the nudity department,
providing not even a single boob. As much talk that SUPERBAD does on the subject of sex—where to get it, how to
get it, and even “should I get it”—it seems too safe and a bit hypocritical not to go further than it does,
as every other line of dialogue incorporates sexual-based vulgarities. I shouldn’t be thinking too hard about
SUPERBAD anyway, and I wasn’t while I was watching it. It’s hardly the end-all and be-all of cinematic comedy,
but it’s raucous, crude, often funny and definitely a good time. Also with Emma Stone, Martha McIsaac, Clement
Blake, Carla Gallo and curiously without the requisite cameos from Apatow’s stock company that one expects in a film
with his name on it. The Bar-Kays, The Four Tops, Ted Nugent, Notorious B.I.G. and Van Halen are among the curiously
non-contemporary artists on the soundtrack.
SUPERBEAST (1972)--Directed by George Schenck.
Stars Antoinette Bower, Craig Littler, Harry Lauter, Vic Diaz. The 873rd MOST DANGEROUS GAME ripoff in film history. Incredibly
dull horror film starring Bower as a sexy pathologist in hip-huggers who becomes trapped in the Filipino jungle and meets
a nutty scientist (Littler) who is experimenting on human guinea pigs by turning them into hairy beasts. It's all so wealthy
big-game hunter Lauter can shoot them for sport. There's no sex, barely any action, and the "superbeast" makeup isn't too
thrilling either. Littler later played JASON OF STAR COMMAND on Saturday morning TV. Dr. Robert J. Rosser served as "technical
advisor", whatever that means. Music by Richard LaSalle. Triple-threat Schenck also scripted and produced this terrible turkey.
Filmed in the Philippines.
SUPERCHICK (1973)--Directed
by Ed Forsyth. Stars Joyce Jillson, Tony Young. Future Reagan administration astrologist Jillson plays Tara B.
True, a blond, long-haired stewardess who is so sexy that she's forced to disguise herself as a mouse before she goes out
in public. She's a karate black belt and a feminist with three different lovers in three different series, all of whom
want to marry her, but Tara digs her freedom. And those aren't her only lovers; she even hooks up with a soldier just
back from Vietnam as a way of saying thanks for defending her country. Not much happens in this sporadically funny sex
comedy, and even though Jillson doesn't seem too shy about baring her tight body, the end credits carry an unusual disclaimer
that a body double was used in some of her sex scenes. Uschi Digard shows off her body too as a porn actress.
Also with John Carradine as an elderly perv, Louis Quinn, Candy Samples, Norman Bartold, Rick Cassidy and Fuji. From
the director of CHESTY ANDERSON, USN.
SUPERCOP (1996)--Directed by Stanley Tong. Stars Jackie Chan,
Michelle Khan, Bill Tung, Maggie Cheung. Originally released as POLICE STORY 3: SUPERCOP in 1992, this Jackie chopathon was
released in the United States four years later. About ten minutes were snipped out, some of the action scenes tightened up,
and the character names were changed in order to conceal the fact that this was a sequel. Jackie plays a Hong Kong cop who
is sent undercover to wipe out a Chinese drug kingpin. He's backed up by a beautiful but tough Chinese detective, played by
29-year-old Michelle Khan (also known as Michelle Yeoh).
The story doesn't always make a heckuva lotta sense, but
who cares? Tong keeps the action moving very quickly, there are plenty of unbelievable stunts (both Chan and Khan do their
own; Jackie dangles from a helicopter over Kuala Lampur, while Michelle jumps a motorcycle onto a moving train!), and the
stars are likable and appealing. Action features more gunfire and explosions than usual Chan fare; its similarity to American
action films is probably why it was chosen for theatrical release here. Soundtrack features Welsh superstar Tom Jones performing
"Kung Fu Fighting"!
SUPERGIRL (1984)--Directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Stars Faye Dunaway, Helen Slater,
Peter O'Toole, Hart Bochner, Brenda Vaccaro, Mia Farrow, Simon Ward. Filmed just after the abominable SUPERMAN III, this estrogen-fueled
superhero adventure was pawned off by Warner Brothers onto Tri-Star Pictures, which cut some much-needed characterization
from it before poorly distributing it to theaters during the Thanksgiving season. The screenplay by David Odell (MASTERS OF
THE UNIVERSE) isn't exactly big on logic or common sense, but some performances and special effects make SUPERGIRL better
than its reputation.
Somehow the paradisiacal metropolis of Argo City survived the destruction of the planet Krypton,
which led to baby Kal-El's rocketing to Earth, where he became the red-white-and-blue-clad hero known as Superman (Christopher
Reeve in SUPERMAN I-IV). Also--somehow--Argo City appears to exist in another dimension located at the bottom of a lake in
Illinois. The community is powered by a baseball-sized sphere called an Omegahedron, invented by and lost through the carelessness
of Argo City's founder Zaltar (O'Toole). Knowing Argo City--and her parents Zor-El (Ward) and Allura (Farrow)--won't survive
without it, naive teenager Kara (Slater) impulsively travels to Earth in an attempt to retrieve the Omegahedron, which has
fallen into the hands of evil sorceress Selena (Dunaway). Selena, aided by sharp-tongued pal Bianca (Vaccaro) and warlock
math instructor Nigel (Cook), plans to use the sphere's powers to rule the world. Upon arriving on Earth, the long-blond-tressed
Kara enrolls in a girls' school as a brunette using the name Linda Lee, while searching for the Omegahedron in her spare time
wearing the familiar costume of her cousin Superman.
SUPERGIRL, while not really good, is a difficult picture to hate.
Odell's script is very frustrating (why is Argo City hidden in a lake? Why does Kara dilly-dally around the school when she
should be frantically searching for the missing orb that will prevent her parents death? Why does she dodge that falling statue
when it would easily shatter on her invulnerable body?)--even director Szwarc admits he was making a fantasy picture, and
wasn't all that interested in explaining away the glaring plotholes--yet the film exhibits a sweet--almost naive--charm that
makes one want to forgive its faults. 20-year-old Slater, making her feature film debut, is perfect as Kara; with her wholesome
beauty and beneficent presence, Slater is such an enchanting figure that we're tempted to root for her no matter what our
opinion of the film around her. Except for maybe SUPERMAN III, Kara's character arc is arguably more developed than any Christopher
Reeve got to play, and its to Slater's credit that she pulls it off so well. It also doesn't hurt that she looks fantastic
in her Super-leotards.
On the other end of the spectrum is Faye Dunaway, who more or less duplicates her Joan Crawford
MOMMIE DEAREST histrionics as archvillainess Selena. She isn't helped by sketchy character motivations that force her powerful,
world-dominating sorceress to spend valuable running time chasing a lunkheaded, barrel-chested boy toy (a thankless role decently
essayed by Bochner) rather than, er, well, ruling the world (where you'd think she could land just about any boyfriend she
wanted). O'Toole, who's always fun to watch when he overacts, looks like he's having a grand time wrestling with his flowery
dialogue, while Cook is properly bitchy as Dunaway's acerbic flame.
The special effects, while primitive by today's
standards perhaps, are mostly very good. The flying sequences are at least as good as those in 1978's SUPERMAN--THE MOVIE
(although executive producers Ilya and Alexander Salkind had three movies to practice on by 1984), and Kara's initial flying
ballet (sadly trimmed by Tri-Star during SUPERGIRL's initial theatrical run) is one of the movie's best scenes. Supergirl's
climactic battle with some sort of supernatural dragon creature (or something) is confusingly and dully filmed, and I suspect
this was some sort of effort to hide the lame visuals. Jerry Goldsmith's score, while wisely (except for one brief passage)
eschewing John Williams familiar SUPERMAN themes, is excellent, while cinematographer Alan Hume, who lensed several James
Bond movies, adroitly doubles Pinewood Studios and nearby English locations for small-town Illinois.
Also with Maureen
Teefy (FAME) as Lucy "Sister of Lois" Lane, Marc McClure (the SUPERMAN films' only holdover) as Jimmy Olsen, David Healy and
Matt Frewer. Paris-born Szwarc, who works in episodic television (THE PRACTICE, BOSTON PUBLIC) these days, was a genre vet
with BUG, JAWS 2 and SOMEWHERE IN TIME already under his belt. Slater, despite featured performances in box-office hits like
RUTHLESS PEOPLE and CITY SLICKERS, never capitalized on her Supergirl role, probably due more to the film's lukewarm reception
than any fault in her performance. Hart Bochner's (URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT) father is familiar character actor Lloyd Bochner
(DYNASTY).
SUPERMAN (1948)--Directed by Spencer G. Bennet & Thomas Carr. Stars Kirk Alyn, Noel
Neill, Carol Forman, Tommy Bond. The Man of Steel's first screen appearance was this 15-chapter serial produced by Columbia
Pictures. The flying sequences were all done in animation; Alyn as Superman would leap into the air, and turn into a cartoon
that would zip around the sky. Whether this was done due to limitations in time or budget or Columbia's lack of talented visual
effects wizards like Republic's Lydecker brothers is unknown, but the transition from animation to live-action is frequently
off-putting, and definitely makes it difficult for one to become absorbed in the fantasy.
That said, SUPERMAN (sometimes known these days as SUPERMAN--THE SERIAL)
is a lot of fun, due to some energetic direction and a terrifically likable and sincere hero in Kirk Alyn. Alyn, who died
in 1999, was a ballet dancer and stage actor who probably got the role in SUPERMAN due to his size (well over six feet) and
smiling demeanor, plus the fact that he was already a Columbia contract player. In fact, it seems likely that George Reeves
based his Clark Kent/Superman largely on Alyn's performance in the two serials (Reeves first played Supes in '51).
The
15 chapters begin with the familiar tale of Superman's Kryptonian origins--how his father Jor-El tried to convince his planet's
leaders of an impending explosion which would destroy Krypton--his flight to Earth in a rocket, his adoption by Midwestern
farm folk, his move to Metropolis and employment as a reporter for the Daily Planet, and moves right along into a standard
serial plot about a nefarious villain called the Spider Lady (Forman) who plans to use a weapon called a Reducer Ray to rule
the world from her cavern hideout. Neill (who reprised her role in the Reeves TV series) makes for a plucky if frequently
stupid Lois Lane, but Bond (a former Little Rascal) is a bit too broad as Jimmy Olson. The disappointing climax involving
the Spider Lady's defeat makes Superman's appearance almost superfluous--he has nothing to do with her destruction! Also with
Pierre Watkin as Perry White, George Meeker, Jack Ingram, Terry Frost and Charles Quigley. Much of the cast returned two years
later for ATOM MAN VS. SUPERMAN in which the Man of Steel battled archfoe Lex Luthor (played by Lyle Talbot).
SUPERMAN
(1978)--Directed by Richard Donner. Stars Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Marlon Brando, Margot Kidder, Ned Beatty, Valerie
Perrine. Wonderful fantasy in which you really do believe a man can fly. Epic blockbuster reenacts the origin and childhood
of the classic DC Comics superhero and adds a plot involving Lex Luthor's (Hackman) plan to blow up California. After considering
every male star from Steve McQueen to Nick Nolte, the producers wisely chose Reeve, an unknown, to play Superman, and what
a wonderful choice it was! His Superman is brave, witty and confident, and his portrayal of the meek and bumbling Clark Kent
is equally fun. Hackman is a wonderfully evil Luthor, and Kidder makes a believable Lois Lane. Excellent cast also includes
Glenn Ford, Phyllis Thaxter, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Susannah York and Trevor Howard. Brando was paid $3 million for
about ten minutes screen time as Jor-El. Excellent special effects won an Oscar. Witty script credited to Robert Benton, Mario
Puzo, David Newman and Leslie Newman, but mostly written by creative consultant Tom Mankiewicz. Great music by John Williams.
SUPERMAN II (1980)--Directed by Richard Lester. Stars Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder,
Terence Stamp, Sarah Douglas, Jack O'Halloran. Excellent sequel is just as good or better than the first. Three Kryptonian
criminals escape from the Phantom Zone and come to Earth, where they have superpowers similar to Superman's. But Superman
(Reeve) has fallen in love with Lois Lane (Kidder) and has forsaken his superpowers to live a normal life with her. The battle
scene with Superman and the three super-criminals destroying half of Metropolis is awesome. Reeve and Kidder are a touching
couple. Also with Jackie Cooper, Ned Beatty, Valerie Perrine, and Susannah York.
SUPERMAN III (1983)--Directed
by Richard Lester. Stars Christopher Reeve, Robert Vaughn, Richard Pryor, Annette O'Toole, Pamela Stephenson, Jackie Cooper.
Woefully inept sequel finds Superman (Reeve) trying to prevent a madman (Vaughn) from taking over the world with a weather
satellite. Pryor is sadly miscast as a computer expert who is tricked by Vaughn into helping him. Pryor invents red kryptonite,
which splits Superman into two beings (one good and one evil). Lester's attempts at slapstick comedy really turn this into
a mess. Margot Kidder reportedly wanted too much money to return as Lois Lane, so she was written out of the script, and her
lines given to O'Toole as Clark Kent's high-school sweetheart Lana Lang.
SUPERMAN IV--THE QUEST FOR PEACE
(1987)--Directed by Sidney J. Furie. Stars Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Mariel Hemingway, Jon Cryer. Warner Brothers didn't
feel like making any more SUPERMAN films, so the schlockmeisters at Cannon snapped up the rights. This low-budget adventure
finds Superman (Reeve) battling Nuclear Man, an artificial superpowered being created by Lex Luthor (Hackman) and his nephew
(Cryer in an annoying performance). Hemingway is Superman's new love interest. Hackman goes way over the top with his performance;
you get the feeling he knew this picture was going nowhere and he was out to have as much fun as he could. Also with series
regulars Margot Kidder, Jackie Cooper and Marc McClure. Reeve co-wrote the story.
SUPERMAN AND THE MOLE-MEN (1951)--Directed by Lee
Sholem. Stars George Reeves, Phyllis Coates, Jeff Corey. Before Reeves starred in the first season of the syndicated
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, Lippert Pictures produced this 58-minute feature that was later cut into a two-part episode, “The
Unknown People.” Daily Planet reporters Clark Kent (Reeves) and Lois Lane (Coates) travel to little Silsby, home
of the world’s deepest oil well, which drills more than six miles below the surface. Unfortunately, it has drilled
a tunnel to the underground home of a race of “mole people”--phosphorescent midgets with hairy backs and big foreheads--who
crawl to the surface and run around accidentally frightening humans to death. They may also be radioactive, spurring
the hotheaded citizens, led by rabblerousing bigot Luke Benson (Corey), to form a lynch mob to murder the strange creatures.
Superman (Reeves in a padded suit) shows up in time to rescue the invaders and teach Silsbee a lesson in tolerance.
Welcome exterior filming and a sturdy performance by the reliable Reeves helps this minor SF number go down easily.
Coates is the best screen Lois Lane, no simp like the version played by Noel Neill in the series’ color episodes, and
perhaps even sexier than Teri Hatcher. Also with Margia Dean, Stanley Andrews, Walter Reed and Billy Curtis. Harry
Thomas’ special mole man makeup is unconvincing.
SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006)—Directed by Bryan Singer. Stars Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate
Bosworth, Frank Langella, Sam Huntington, Parker Posey. Boy, Bryan Singer sure hates Superman, doesn’t he? He
makes the World’s Greatest Superhero a sniveling milquetoast who takes a beatdown from a 50-year-old baldie and his
pool-hall minions and a selfish narcissist who split at a moment‘s notice to…I dunno, find himself…without
even telling his widowed mom where he was going. Singer also turns Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane into an airhead
who somehow won a Pulitzer, despite thinking the word “catastrophe” has an “f” in it, and a skank
who had sexual relationships with two men simultaneously, became pregnant by one, and allowed the other to believe the baby
was his.
I actually kinda liked SUPERMAN RETURNS for much of the first half.
The opening titles are fun, and Brandon Routh’s performance as Clark Kent/Superman, while not one iota more than an
unabashed Christopher Reeve impression, is in the right spirit. I loved the airplane rescue (once I decided to ignore the
idiotic science involved), and Superman’s reassurance of the passengers that air travel is still the safest way to go
was pure Reeve. Frank Langella is a good Perry White, and Sam Huntington is a perfectly rendered Jimmy Olsen. I also dug the
nice bit parts given to THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN TV vets Noel Neill and Jack Larson (who wears a bow tie!). Kevin Spacey
did a better job as Lex Luthor than I had expected going in, although I’ll go on a limb and say that John Shea on the
LOIS & CLARK series is still my all-time favorite film Luthor.
This movie is easily a half-hour too long (how many endings does it
have? About five?), and the script is pure garbage. The whole story springs from the premise that Superman left Earth for
five years to go visit a planet that no longer exists. For some reason, he was in such a big hurry, even though Krypton had
been destroyed for 10,000 years (or whatever), that he gave no notice or reason for his exit, not even to Lois or his poor
lonely mama, nor did he bother to put a lock on his Fortress of Solitude, practically daring Luthor to come steal the secrets
of the universe. He apparently built a spaceship; to paraphrase Captain Kirk, what does Superman need with a spaceship? And
what did
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