SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE II (1990)--Directed by Jim Wynorski. Stars Melissa Moore, Robin Harris, Bridget Carney, Dana Bentley, Stacia Zhivago. I never saw the original SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE, but I don't imagine this picks up where the first one left off. Five beautiful, big-breasted girls spend the night in a haunted sorority house, where they change clothes, take showers, stomp around in skimpy nighties, and fight a psycho killer. Not much of this makes sense--some of the scenes may have been shot for a different movie and recycled here. Wynorski is credited as Arch Stanton, which is a reference to THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY. Producer Julie Corman is listed as Shelly Stoker. Who knows what that means? Also with Peter Spellos and porn actress Savannah. Also known as NIGHTIE NIGHTMARE.

SOUL HUSTLER (1973)--Directed by Burt Topper. Stars Fabian Forte, Nai Bonet, Tony Russel, Casey Kasem, Larry Bishop. The former Hound Dog Man is better than you might think as Matthew, a guitar-playing, heroin-addicted drifter who becomes a gospel-rock superstar overnight. While cruising through the desert with only his two dogs and hitchhiker Brian (Bishop) for company, Matthew stops off at an evangelical tent show owned by the shady Reverend Evin Calder (Russel), where he picks up some extra bread by fleecing the crowd. Calder realizes Matthew has something he doesn't--youth and a way with a song--and hires Matthew as a headliner. Soon, with ex-junkie Vietnam vet Brian in tow as chauffeur, roadie and hooker procurer, Matthew, the Son of Jesus, heads to the top of the charts and a sold-out gig at the Los Angeles Forum, where he receives an award from the city.

Yes, it's a pretty typical show biz rags-to-riches story, and it's obvious there's going to be no easy way out for Matthew, but the production is pretty lively, the campy dialogue is fun, and--I'm ashamed to say--my toes were frequently tapping during Fabian's bubblegummy tunes, which were mostly written by Harley Hatcher (WILD WHEELS). Topper (THE HARD RIDE), who also wrote and produced SOUL HUSTLER, was obviously working with little money, and he cuts a few corners showing the various transitions in Matthew's meteoric rise, but I liked his PG feature better than I thought I would. Kasem looks ridiculous in a curly-headed rug as Matthew's PR man. Also with William Bonner (SATANS SADISTS), Kitty Vallacher (GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE), Marshall Reed, Robert Swan and Tracy Morgan. According to the Internet Movie Database, editor Kenneth D. Crane was also the (uncredited) director of the stunning THE DOUBLE GARDEN, a hilarious Japanese monster movie about a walking man-eating plant that was penned by Ed Wood (has anyone else seen this one?)!

I think it was originally released as THE DAY THE LORD GOT BUSTED; I have an original one-sheet in which the SOUL HUSTLER title was obviously pasted over the first. The Monterey Home Video tape is complete as far as I can tell. The picture and sound were pretty good--especially considering the tape's age--and the feature is followed by two previews for other Monterey releases: 1961's JOHNNY NOBODY with Aldo Ray and 1977's HUGHES AND HARLOW: ANGELS IN HELL, directed by Larry Buchanan!

SPACE PROBE--TAURUS (1965)--Directed by Leonard Katzman.  Stars Francine York, Russ Bender, James B. Brown, Baynes Barron.  It's hard to believe this laughable SF movie was made in the mid-'60s.  Its cheap-looking special effects, tacky sets, childish dialogue, ludicrous story and anachronistic attitude towards women harken back to the days of LOST CONTINENT and CAT WOMEN OF THE MOON.

In the "futuristic" year of 2000, the spaceship Hope One blasts off from Earth on course for a new planet to colonize.  I think Taurus is its destination, but everyone pronounces it funny.  The previous expedition, aboard Faith One, didn't return from its mission after a fatal dose of radioactivity.  The new crew consists of:  stern Colonel Hank Stevens (Brown), whose lack of a sense of humor is eclipsed only by his decidedly misogynist views towards women ("Space is no place for a woman!"); comic relief John Andros (Barron), whose only job seems to be making lame wisecracks and daydreaming about women (we even see one of his creepy fantasies--ewww!); wise scientist Paul (Bender); and stacked scientist Lisa (York), who appears to be along only because the only other qualified crewmember weighed 120 pounds more than she! 

The storyline pretty much plays like Clichéd Space Exploration Storyline 101--there's even a meteor shower to contend with (the flaming meteors actually resemble meatballs soaked with lighter fluid).  Even though he's a big jerk, Hank ends up getting it on with Dr. Lisa after forcing her to kiss him three times (no sexual harassment back then).  Cynical wiseass John gets to prove that he's an old softy after all.  And, despite the singular alternate title of SPACE MONSTER, the crew actually has several space monsters to deal with, none of which are scary, threatening or even less than comical.  At one point, after Hope One has crash-landed at the bottom of an ocean (portrayed by an unconvincing model planted at the bottom of an aquarium, complete with air bubbles gurgling from the nosecone), the ship is attacked by giant crabs.  And they are clearly crabs, although it takes this crack staff of scientists and educated explorers a while to figure it out.

SPACE PROBE--TAURUS was both written and directed by Leonard Katzman, who was not well known at the time, but later became quite successful in television as a producer of series like GUNSMOKE, HAWAII FIVE-0 and DALLAS.  I realize he was working on a limited budget here, but he made plenty of wrong decisions that had little to do with budget.  For instance, the spaceship doors are designed so that it takes them a good nine or ten seconds to open.  Imagine how much screen time is eaten up by watching cast members open and close doors.  Not only is the screenplay's negative attitude towards women outlandishly outdated, but also amazing is its xenophobia, justifying the death of one alien more or less because it was "ugly".

Surprisingly, the performances aren't half-bad, considering what the actors were working with.  Red-haired York receives top billing, and it's probably to her credit that Lisa isn't nearly as incompetent as she could have been.  I mean, at least we see her doing some actual science-type stuff in addition to providing her male companions with food pills and kisses.  American International Pictures sold the film directly to television, where it has been seen under several different titles, including SPACE MONSTER, FIRST WOMAN INTO SPACE and FLIGHT BEYOND THE SUN.  It recently aired on American Movie Classics, where its host erroneously claimed it was released two years before STAR TREK (which first aired in 1966) and four years before 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968).

SPACE RAGE: BREAKOUT ON PRISON PLANET (1985)--Directed by Conrad E. Palmisano.  Stars Richard Farnsworth, Michael Pare, Lee Purcell, William Windom, John Laughlin.  Boy, does this have all the earmarks of a troubled production.  It runs only 77 minutes (and still feels like there isn't enough story to fill them), the opening titles list only the main stars and Palmisano's directing credit, and the end credits list an entirely new crew for "Reshoots", including director Peter McCarthy and a different producer and cinematographer.  On the other hand, the concept and execution are so simple that the backstage mayhem shouldn't confuse any audience members, and, in fact, I found SPACE RAGE to be a competent little B-picture.

A B-western is more like it, since that's really what SPACE RAGE is.  Grange (Pare) is a ruthless killer sentenced to life on New Botany Bay, a remote desert mining planet that bears a surprising resemblance to Southern California.  The planet's governor, Tovah (Windom), is also the prison warden, and his number-one man in charge of bringing back "escapers" (and there seem to be several every day) is legendary bounty hunter Walker (Laughlin), who lives peacefully nearby with his wife (Purcell) and young son.  After Grange organizes a mass breakout (which isn't difficult, since there don't seem to be very many guards) and kidnaps Tovah, Walker and his crusty mentor, the Colonel (Farnsworth), a former Los Angeles cop who has nightmares about being stabbed by a hood after forgetting to load his shotgun, pile into their dune buggies and chase Grange's gang across the desert to the sleepy ghost town he has taken over.

This is certainly one of the cheapest films I've seen lately.  We never see any of the townspeople Grange allegedly has hostage, and what few sets there are seem to be built of cardboard.  Most of the action takes place on free desert landscapes, and the tiny budget looks to have been lavished on stunts, chases and explosions.  Palmisano, directing his first film, was and is one of Hollywood's most highly respected stuntmen, which accounts for the high-blasting action scenes.  That doesn't leave the actors much to do, although the skinny Pare, looking silly in a ponytail, isn't up to the job anyway.  Farnsworth is his same old wrinkled self and Windom is fine, but Laughlin is a pretty bland hero.  With so many stunts and so few sets and characters, it's hard to see why reshoots were necessary, unless they were for a prologue showing Grange's arrest--a prologue without which the film would barely reach the 70-minute mark.

Also with Dennis Redfield, William Sylvester, Lewis Van Bergen, Paul Linke and a ton of Palmisanos in the cast and crew.  The rock soundtrack is by a band called Yorface!  Although rated R, some gore appears to have been trimmed, at least from the Lightning Video tape I saw.  In particular, one scene in which Farnsworth blasts two guys with a shotgun has a lot of awkward cuts in it, ultimately showing a corpse with an enormous bloody hole, but how he got that way is mostly gone.

SPACE RAIDERS (1983)--Directed by Howard R. Cohen.  Stars Vince Edwards, David Mendenhall.  Roger Corman produced this juvenile space opera that recycles sets, props, special effects and even James Horner's score from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS.  Mendenhall (OVER THE TOP) plays Peter, a 10-year-old kid who stows away aboard a spaceship stolen by a band of roguish pirates led by tough guy Hawk (BEN CASEY star Edwards).  Hawk may be a murdering scoundrel, but he has a good heart, and promises to take Peter home.  Unfortunately, the kid's new friends also have to avoid capture by the corporate thugs sent by Peter's middle-management father to rescue him and by a pair of idiotic kidnappers (think HOME ALONE) who want to ransom Peter back. 

There may be a lot to like here for kids weaned on BUCK ROGERS and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, but it's mostly slow going for me.  Despite their reputation as great thieves, Hawk's crew, which also includes one foxy leather-pants-wearing lady, is easily killed off by some of the least mobile robots in cinematic history.  Edwards is an unlikely choice for a hero, although he does handle some of the more mawkish scenes with ease.  Also with Patsy Pease (DAYS OF OUR LIVES), Thom Christopher, William Boyett, Luca Bercovici (the director of PARASITE), MACON COUNTY LINE director Michael Miller and Dick (no relation) Miller as a used car salesman of the future.  Cohen wrote several New World hits like UNHOLY ROLLERS and COVER GIRL MODELS.

SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE (1983)--Directed by Lamont Johnson.  Stars Peter Strauss, Molly Ringwald, Michael Ironside, Ernie Hudson, Andrea Marcovicci.  Columbia Pictures shelled out about $12 million to shoot this silly space opera in 3-D, one of several genre pictures to dangle their toes in such gimmicky waters during the early 1980’s.  Shooting special effects, stunts and explosions is tricky, even before the added pressures of filming in 3-D (using a two-camera process).  Perhaps director Jean LeFleur (ILSA, THE TIGRESS OF SIBERIA) just couldn‘t keep up; he was fired during production in Utah and replaced by Lamont Johnson (THE EXECUTION OF PRIVATE SLOVIK), an acclaimed television director who had earned accolades from Emmy voters and the Directors Guild of America, but had little experience with science fiction.  Ditto star Strauss, the Emmy-winning star of THE JERICHO MILE who made a name for himself in TV miniseries like RICH MAN, POOR MAN and MASADA, but on the surface seemed miscast as a wisecracking action hero.  If you’re curious about how it all turned out, not to worry.  SPACEHUNTER provides 89 minutes of dumb fun, its script--cobbled together by six different scribes, including MEATBALLS’ Dan Goldberg & Len Blum--a bouncing-ball medley of laser battles, fleshy zombies shaped like the Pillsbury Doughboy (perhaps SPACEHUNTER was still on executive producer Ivan Reitman’s mind when he directed GHOSTBUSTERS a year later), sexy Amazons, a sea dragon, hang-gliding mutants, futuristic motorcycles, sadistic deathtraps and sand.  Lots and lots of sand.

Wolff (Strauss), a space-jaunting mercenary one step ahead of bill collectors and a vengeful ex-wife, learns about a hefty reward being offered for the safe return of three sexy party girls who managed to escape an exploding spaceship unharmed and float to rest on a plague-riddled desert planet called Terra 11.  Upon landing on the planet and exploring it behind the wheel of his super-spacejeep, called a “scrambler”, Wolff and his foxy robot mechanic Chalmers (Marcovicci) quickly encounter the three sexpots, who are being cared for by a large band of space pirates floating across the desert on a sail-powered ship.  Really.  An elaborate battle scene finds the girls kidnapped by mutants under the command of Overdog (Ironside), the perverted cyborg czar of Terra 11 who kidnaps children and sucks their lifeforce into his body to keep him healthy.  Not that he looks very healthy; the makeup effects by Tom Burman (THE BEAST WITHIN) make Overdog look like a cross between Nosferatu and Doctor Octopus.  The rest of the running time consists of Wolff bopping cross-country in his 4x4 Wolffmobile, encountering one obstacle after another on his journey into the Forbidden Zone to rescue the chicks and get the reward.  For company, he picks up Niki (Ringwald), a foulmouthed desert urchin who serves as his guide into the Zone, and Washington (Hudson), an old rival driving a huge tank-like craft with a sharp blade attached to the front.

While the screenplay isn’t high on logic (why does jaded man-of-action Wolff carry a bottle of shampoo in his pocket?), it does move incredibly quickly, creating a new menace for our heroes to fight every few minutes and keeping them in plenty of trouble until it’s time for them to battle Overdog.  Johnson and his cast are aided by some remarkably imaginative sets designed by Jackson DeGovia (2004’s THE STEPFORD WIVES) and a rousing orchestral score by the great Elmer Bernstein (THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN), whose heroic theme adds a morale boost to Wolff’s dusty journey.  Although clearly influenced by THE ROAD WARRIOR, the production design and art direction create a properly junky world for the action to take place in, one cluttered with rusty metal and weird shapes, such as Overdog’s lair, which includes a Maze of Death that looks like it came out of an overly sadistic Republic serial.  The miniature and matte effects are pretty good, considering the budget, but are nowhere near as impressive as those of RETURN OF THE JEDI, which opened in the U.S. just five days after SPACEHUNTER in May of 1983.

The performances are as good as can be expected, considering the actors are competing with hang-gliders, rocket-launching Land Rovers and sea monsters for attention.  Strauss handles the sub-Han Solo heroics just fine, although, aside from a brief turn as PETER GUNN on television, he never again tackled an action-oriented role.  Ironside is too slathered in prosthetics to do much more than leer and slobber, and I wonder how much further over the top he could have gone if not for SPACEHUNTER’s PG rating.  Hudson is loyal and likable in the sidekick role, while Ringwald, never one of my favorite actresses, is properly annoying--perhaps too much so--as a filthy tomboy in an uncomfortably inappropriate relationship with the much older Wolff.  While there’s no overt indication of romantic interest, it seems unlikely that a loner like Wolff would get involved with a bratty teenage girl for paternal reasons, so…

Beeson Carroll (M*A*S*H), Harant Alianak, Cali Timmins, Aleisa Shirley and Deborah Pratt also appear in this Canadian co-production, which was partially filmed on soundstages in Vancouver.  Columbia/Tri-Star’s DVD presents SPACEHUNTER in two versions--full-frame and its 1.85:1 theatrical ratio--accompanied by trailers for three other Columbia SF movies, but sadly not SPACEHUNTER.  The 3-D aspect was played up on SPACEHUNTER’s one-sheet and presumably in all its marketing, so perhaps Columbia is hiding that fact from today’s audiences.  SPACEHUNTER was not a big box-office hit (how could it have been, coming out as it did just before JEDI?), and Johnson never again worked on a big-screen project, returning to TV and most recently helming episodes of FELICITY.

SPARTACUS (1960)--Directed by Stanley Kubrick. Stars Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Jean Simmons, Laurence Olivier, Charles Laughton, John Gavin, Peter Ustinov. Douglas is well cast as the legendary title character, leader of a Roman slave rebellion in 71 B.C. Three-hour epic contains beautiful location scenery, good dialogue by Dalton Trumbo, exciting action sequences, and clever supporting performances, especially by Ustinov (who was Oscar-nominated) and Olivier. On the other hand, Gavin is his usual wooden self, and Curtis's Bronx accent is always good for a laugh. When re-released in 1992, footage originally cut by the censors was re-instated, including a suggestive scene where slave Curtis bathes Olivier (as Crassus). Sir Laurence was already dead, so Anthony Hopkins dubbed his voice. Also with Herbert Lom, Woody Strode, John Ireland and John Hoyt. Classic score by Alex North.

SPARTAN (2004)--Directed by David Mamet.  Stars Val Kilmer, William H. Macy, Kristen Bell.  Val Kilmer, an actor whose relevance I thought was well past its expiration date, plays an uncompromising Marine training officer named Bobby Scott in SPARTAN, a fantastic thriller written and directed by the Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Mamet.  I call Scott a "training officer", even though his actual occupation is oblique.  We first see him in an Army camp training a pair of young recruits in a series of exercises in which the two finalists are eventually placed in a locked room and ordered to fight each other until only one man is left standing.  But when Laura Newton (Kristen Bell), a Boston college student, turns up missing and is presumed kidnapped, the Secret Service commands Scott, a "worker bee" dedicated to following orders without question, to step up and lead the investigation.

Why is the Secret Service involved?  Part of what's wonderful about Mamet's screenplay is the way in which he moves the plot along by delivering just enough information to keep the audience curious.  Although no one in the film ever says so directly, Laura is clearly the daughter of the President of the United States.  Because we're so absorbed in the story, we get to figure out who Laura is, but Mamet, who has more respect for the intelligence of his audience than most filmmakers, never hits us over the head with her identity the way other Hollywood action films would (if for no reason that a dramatic "The President's daughter is missing!" sound byte for the trailer).

What begins as a mystery story, as Scott follows the intricate clues to a sleazy nightclub that caters to middle-aged men with much younger tastes and, ultimately, a white slavery operation in Dubai, ends as a political thriller along the lines of THREE DAYS OF THE CONDOR, in which we discover a government conspiracy so shocking that it forces Bobby, a dedicated soldier who has never considered the motives or the consequences of the tasks he has performed under orders, to reevaluate his beliefs.

Kilmer, who has a tendency to sleepwalk through roles that don't interest him, is very good in SPARTAN, weaving his way through the tangled web of Mamet-speak, handling the terse, stylized dialogue with great charm and verisimilitude.  While nobody in real life talks the way Mamet writes, I liken his dialogue to a musical symphony with syllables replacing notes.  Kilmer gets the tempo down like an old be-bopper, repeating certain phrases and words, especially during interrogation scenes, to an hypnotic effect.  Mamet regulars Ed O'Neill, Clark Gregg and, particularly, William H. Macy, who looms over the first half of the film like a sinister shadow, provide solid support.

SPARTAN isn't perfect.  Mamet's intricate plotting boils down to a routine shootout in an airplane hangar, complete with smack-talking villain, and many story points and characterizations appear pulled from Fox's excellent TV series 24 (I often found myself picturing Kiefer Sutherland in the Kilmer role).  Mamet's disdain for episodic television has been documented, so I'm sure any likeness is coincidental, but speaking as a 24 fan, it does exist.  Not that you should let it detract from what is sure to be one of the year's finest thrillers, a smart, tightly plotted thriller that doesn't depend upon splashy CGI effects to earn its buzz.  Filmed entirely on location in Los Angeles, Boston and London.  Also with Stephen Culp, Geoff Pierson, David Paymer, Derek Luke, Alexandra Kerry and Tia Texada.  Music by Mark Isham.  Joseph Merhi, the former co-owner of PM Entertainment who directed several very good direct-to-video action movies like THE SWEEPER and EXECUTIVE TARGET, was a co-producer.

SPASMS (1982)--Directed by William Fruet.  Stars Peter Fonda, Oliver Reed, Kerrie Keane, Al Waxman.  What kind of B-movie star would Peter Fonda be without at least one killer-snake movie on his resume?  SPASMS is a looney-tunes Canadian horror movie with Toronto very unconvincingly standing in for San Diego (!) and Oliver Reed equally unconvincingly standing in for a good actor. How much of this comes from the source material, a novel called DEATH BITE, I don't know, but the story concerns big game hunter Reed's obsession with bagging a giant serpent god from Hell that he encountered on a trip to New Guinea seven years earlier that crippled him and killed his brother. He now maintains a psychic link with the snake that psychiatrist Fonda claims is caused by a virus that was spread in the snake's venom. Reed has the snake captured and shipped to California, where it escapes, killing a nude woman taking a shower (of course) and many more people, including legendary Canuck character actor Al Waxman as Crowley, hired by a local snake worshipping cult to snatch the serpent and deliver it to their "church".

To call Reed's performance "unrestrained" is an understatement, and I ain't buying Fonda's shrink credentials either. Dick Smith provides some bubbling bladder effects, but the snake itself is wonderfully phony-looking. It appears director William Fruet ran out of either time or money to shoot the climax, which barely registers and is over before you know it. Kerrie Keane, fresh off THE INCUBUS, and Angus MacInnes from STRANGE BREW are also in it. Tangerine Dream performs the closing theme. SPASMS garnered a bit of notoriety during its original U.S. release, thanks to the juicy stills of Waxman's lumpy demise that surfaced in FANGORIA. It's not really a very good movie, and, in fact, it isn't even the best killer-snake movie Oliver Reed made in 1982.  You’d have to check out VENOM for that.  From the director of DEATH WEEKEND.

SPECIAL BULLETIN (1983)--Directed by Edward Zwick. Stars Ed Flanders, Kathryn Walker, Rosalind Cash. Made-for-TV suspenser scared a few real-life viewers during its original broadcast because it was directed to resemble a real television news bulletin. Shot on videotape, it's about some nuclear protesters threatening to blast a major city off the map unless the U.S. agrees to disarm its missiles. NBC ran a bunch of disclaimers during the broadcast, but some people took it seriously anyway. From the director of COURAGE UNDER FIRE.

SPECIAL DELIVERY (1976)—Directed by Paul Wendkos.  Stars Bo Svenson, Cybill Shepherd, Michael C. Gwynne.  Who would’a thought big Bo (PART 2—WALKING TALL) could do romantic comedy?  He and Shepherd share a surprisingly amiable chemistry in this lighthearted heist film shot by Bing Crosby Productions (who also did the WALKING TALL series) on a low budget.  I wish director Wendkos would have been able to open the action up somewhat, as at least half the film is set on one block of backlot street.  Four ‘Nam vets rob a bank.  One is killed.  Two are captured.  The fourth, Murdock (Svenson), on the run, stashes $500,000 in loot inside a corner mailbox.  Unbeknownst to him, sleazy drug dealer Gwynne also knows about the loot and wants it for himself.  Murdock teams up with another witness, kooky divorcee Shepherd, whose studio apartment overlooks the mailbox, to figure out how to get to the stash before the 11:45pm scheduled mail pickup.  The chase that climaxes the movie is something of a fizzle, but the two leads work well together, and Wendkos assembles an appealing supporting cast of familiar faces to keep the energy level high.  Also with Tom Atkins, Vic Tayback, Robert Ito, John Quade, Gerrit Graham, Jeff Goldblum, Sorrell Booke, Kim Richards, Edward Winter, Lynette Mettey and Deidre Hall.  Lalo Schifrin’s score is reminiscent of DIRTY HARRY, but a bit too gritty for this frothy vehicle.

SPECIAL EFFECTS (1984)--Directed by Larry Cohen. Stars Zoe Tamerlis, Eric Bogosian, Brad Rijn, Kevin OConnor. Some Cohen cultists have overrated this talky thriller. I thought it was quite slow and boring. Bogosian (in his first film) plays an arrogant movie director named Chris Neville, who has been fired from his latest big-budget special effects blockbuster. He strangles struggling blond actress Andrea (Tamerlis from MS. 45) in his bedroom when she becomes upset that he's filming them having sex. Neville then plans to use the snuff footage in a new film, using an Andrea lookalike (also Tamerlis) and Andrea's real-life husband Keefe (Rijn) as the leads, and frame Keefe for the killing. Cohen, who also penned the screenplay, is going for some what-is-fact-and-what-is-fiction existentialism here (Neville, as is Cohen, is a JFK conspiracy buff, and watches the Kennedy and Oswald assassinations over and over again), but none of his characters are likable, and Bogosian's is the only one who's the least bit interesting. Music by Michael Minard. Also with Richard Greene, Bill Oland, Steven Pudenz and Kitty Summerall.

SPECIAL FORCES (2003)--Directed by Isaac Florentine.  Stars Marshall Teague, Eli Danker, Tim Abell, Scott Adkins.  Florentine continues his string of highly stylized low-budget action films with this solid entry filmed in Lithuania.  While neither as absurd nor wild as his previous film, the excellent U.S. SEALS II, SPECIAL FORCES still provides plenty for action fans to get into.  Most of the bloodshed is the result of machine-gun battles and more realistically rendered military firefights, but Florentine's penchant for staging acrobatic martial-arts battles is cranked up at the climax, featuring a pair of bone-crunching fights choreographed by Akihiro Noguchi.

Rafendek (Danker), a Moldavian military commander involved in ethnic cleansing, kidnaps an American college student who witnesses his men gunning down civilians and holds her for ransom.  What he gets is a U.S. Special Forces squadron led by Major Don Harding (Teague), who bears a personal grudge against Refendek dating back to the war in Bosnia.  Harding's--and Florentine's, for that matter--secret weapon is Talbot, a British agent out to avenge the murder of his partner by Rafendek and portrayed by Scott Adkins, a marvelous martial artist who takes advantage of Florentine's skills for shooting high-octane action scenes.  While Adkins doesn't show a lot of acting chops, he's good enough, and his fists and feet are more than capable of doing his performing for him.  Music by Stephen Edwards. 

THE SPECIALIST (1994)--Directed by Luis Llosa. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, James Woods. Woods is the best thing in this dull adventure starring Sly as a former CIA assassin hired by grieving Stone to kill the Cuban dope dealers who killed her family. An out-of-control Woods is Stallone's corrupt former partner. Sly and Sharon have a brief shower scene, but there's no chemistry between them at all. As hammy as Woods is, Rod Steiger and Eric Roberts as the Cuban bad guys outdo him! Music by John Barry.

SPECIES (1995)--Directed by Roger Donaldson. Stars Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Forest Whitaker, Natasha Hentsridge. A gorgeous naked blonde from outer space invades L.A. and graphically kills everyone in sight in an effort to get laid! What's not to like? Actually, this is a throwback to those '50s sci-fi monster movies that used to star Richard Carlson or Richard Denning...only with more blood and much nudity. Some government scientists, led by the enigmatic Kingsley, have created a little girl using a combination of human and extraterrestrial DNA. When the super-strong "Sil" decides she doesn't like being a guinea pig any more, she breaks out of the Utah installation and hops a train to Los Angeles. Kingsley, recognizing the bad publicity that could occur, assembles a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-type team, led by assassin Madsen and sensitive psychic Whitaker, to track her down and kill her. Meanwhile, Sil has grown up to be a gorgeous stone fox (played by 20-year-old Henstridge in a striking debut), and is cruising the L.A. club scene in order to find an appropriate mate, leaving piles of dead bodies in her tow.

The cast seems to recognize the silliness of it all, and plays along smoothly--Madsen in particular is a pleasure, as he tosses off the requisite one-liners in a way that lets the audience know he's having a good time. Whitaker is unusual and interesting in a film that doesn't really bother with much in the way of characterization; that's unfortunate as far as Kingsley's character is concerned. At the film's beginning, he seems to take a fatherly interest in the half-alien child he has created, but later he seems cold and obsessed with her death. The makeup effects are appropriately gooey. Visual effects by Richard Edlund. Script by Dennis Feldman. Also with Alfred Molina and Marg Helgenberger (an Emmy winner for CHINA BEACH).

SPECIES II (1998)--Directed by Peter Medak. Stars Michael Madsen, Natasha Henstridge, Marg Helgenberger, Mikelti Williamson. This unpleasant, big-budget misfire came and went quickly in theaters in the spring of 98. Madsen delivers one of the least energetic performances I've ever seen--it seems obvious he didn't want to make this sequel, and he walks through it like a zombie--and Henstridge, who wears very little clothing throughout, is extremely underused and underwritten.

This sequel follows the plot of the first film--gorgeous alien stalks L.A. mating and then killing its victims--but this time the stalker is male: an American astronaut who was the first man to walk on the surface of Mars, but returned to Earth infected with some sort of virus than turns him into a horny killer who sprouts tentacles and impregnates his victims with more monsters. He collects his offspring in some sort of VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED community in his barn. Madsen is called in by the military to stop the astronaut, and he teams up with Dr. Helgenberger and sex-crazed astronaut Williamson. Henstridge plays a clone of the original Sil, this time named Eve, who lounges around her laboratory prison watching DUKES OF HAZZARD reruns. Much gorier, bloodier and uglier than the original, but with worse acting, editing and, especially, writing--much of this film makes no sense at all. With George Dzundza, James Cromwell and pointless, what-the-hell-were-they-thinking uncredited cameos by Peter Boyle and Richard Belzer (who appears for about ten seconds on a TV screen as the President).

SPECIES III (2004)--Directed by Brad Turner.  Stars Robert Knepper, Robin Dunne, Sunny Mabrey, Amelia Cooke, Natasha Henstridge.  Not that you were waiting for it, but the SPECIES series returns in this direct-to-video entry which retains the gore and sex content of the earlier films, but sacrifices pace, scope and excitement.  Picking up where the putrid SPECIES II left off, half-breed alien Eve (Henstridge in a small wordless cameo) dies giving birth to a beautiful blond girl who is snatched by mad scientist Knepper and skirted away to his university home.  Sara, who grows into a sexy young woman (Mabrey) within a few days, seems at ease roaming around Knepper's house in the buff, while the mad doc attempts to use her DNA to, I don't know, something for the greater good, I suppose.  Knepper and his college student sidekick Dunne aren't evil, just greatly misguided, as so many movie scientists are, messing around in alien DNA where they have no business.  Turner does a poor job of recapping the first two films, so you may not realize that the other aliens who stop by occasionally to fight Sara are her half-siblings spawned in SPECIES II.  Considering the small budget, the gore and CGI effects are reasonably well done, while the vapid Mabrey and the even sexier Cooke provide an excellent skin quotient.  Room is left for another sequel, although it's hard to see where MGM could take the franchise from here.  Also with Mike Warren (HILL STREET BLUES), Christopher Neame (DRACULA A.D. 1972) and Rick Dean. 

SPECTRE (1977)--Directed by Clive Donner.  Stars Robert Culp, Gig Young, John Hurt, Ann Bell.  STAR TREK creator Gene Roddenberry produced this atmospheric, sexy series pilot in England.  NBC aired it in May 1977, but declined to pick up the series.  SPECTRE was shown overseas in a continental cut containing flashes of female nudity, which is the print I saw on Fox Movie Channel.  I suspect SPECTRE may have influenced THE X-FILES as much as KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER reportedly did.  Culp stars as William Sebastian, an arrogant criminologist obsessed with investigating supernatural phenomena, and Young is Dr. Hamilton, a skeptical alcoholic physician who goes along with Sebastian mainly to keep him out of trouble.  The duo investigate an English manor, ostensibly to prove that the lady of the house, Anitra Cyon (Bell), is crazy, but actually discover that her alleged encounters with ghostly spirits are real.  The finale features Druid priests, topless women, a green lizard man, tumbling boulders and lots of special effects.  Culp and Young offer strong performances, and I wish their adventures had continued.  Also with Gordon Jackson, James Villiers, Jenny Runacre, Michael Latimer and Roddenberry’s wife Majel Barrett, who would have been a series regular as Culp’s mysterious secretary Lilith.

SPEED (1994)--Directed by Jan De Bont. Stars Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, Joe Morton, Jeff Daniels. Exciting high-octane thriller with a brilliant premise. Hopper is a psychotic mad bomber who rigs a Los Angeles commuter bus with an explosive device set to detonate if the bus travels under 50 mph. Reeves plays a member of the L.A. bomb squad who finds himself on the bus and into danger. Features taut direction by DeBont in his debut; he previously served as cinematographer on such action classics as DIE HARD and TOTAL RECALL. Graham Yost's script features some awful dialogue, but DeBont and the cast (especially Hopper) turn it into one of the year's best movies.

THE SPEED LOVERS (1968)--Directed by William F. McGaha.  Stars William F. McGaha, Fred Lorenzen.  Who the hell is William F. McGaha and where is he now?  This mad genius apparently made just three movies in his career, serving as writer, producer, director and star.  One is THE SPEED LOVERS, which I’ll get to in a moment.  His first was a softcore nudie flick called BAD GIRLS FOR THE BOYS, and it comes as no surprise to me that his last was J.C., in which McGaha plays none other than Jesus Christ, born again as the leader of a biker gang out to knock off The Man.  Judging from his ego-fueled masterpiece, THE SPEED LOVERS, it makes sense that McGaha would have something of a Messianic complex.

In the days before Hollywood studios blanketed the entire country by releasing their films in 3000 multiplexes at a time, there was room for smaller independent distributors to stake their claims.  Many films never saw any kind of nationwide release.  They were regionally financed and produced, and released only in specific states for a niche audience.  Thus was born the “speedsploitation” genre, in which dozens of Southern filmmakers teased drive-in audiences with a peculiar mixture of amateurish acting, cornpone atmosphere, fast cars, lurid women and a rockabilly or country-western soundtrack.  To capitalize on the South’s passion for stock car racing, McGaha made THE SPEED LOVERS, a ludicrous melodrama that marked the quadruple-threat as the Orson Welles of the kudzu set.

Fred Lorenzen plays himself, “NASCAR’s all-time leading money winner.”  While he’s burning around the track, winning another hefty purse, Scott Clayton (McGaha) drinks alone in a bar, bragging about what a great driver he could be if his buddy Fred would just give him a chance.  Since neither Fred nor his mechanic--Scott’s own father (played by an actor roughly the same age as McGaha)--will let Scott drive on their team, the brash young man accepts an invitation from sultry owner Vanessa (Peggy O’Hara) to attend a party at the estate of greasy gangster Pinky Bentley (David Marcus), who resembles Victor Buono on a four-day drunk.  Mesmerized by Bentley’s international bevy of bikini girls, Scott falls into Pinky’s scheme, which is to force the lad into convincing Lorenzen to drive on Vanessa’s racing team.

To say that McGaha is a failure as a screenwriter, producer, director and actor would be a deception.  It would be true, of course, but it also would not express the level of joy McGaha’s wretched skills produce in an appreciative audience.  The pudgy, slouchy, hopelessly square star is at least fifteen years too old to depict an impetuous young Turk, and witnessing the cardigan-clad “romantic lead” dancing woefully and making out with several nubile young ladies in gratuitous scenes he wrote for himself skirts the attractive line between hilarious and embarrassing.  Penning lines like, “What brings you to my humble web, said the spider to the handsome speed lover?”, is enough to toss McGaha into Movie Jail for life, and his direction consists of stilted performances, egregious continuity errors and incomprehensible plotting.

McGaha does bookend the film with real 16mm racing footage shot at the Atlanta International Raceway, which may be a combination of stock footage and 2nd unit work.  It’s actually fairly exciting stuff, even if he did evidently use every crash and smashup he could find.  Lensed in “Speedcolor” and featuring decent rock tunes by Billy Lee Riley and Randy Little and the Holidays, THE SPEED LOVERS is a hopelessly clumsy exploitation movie, but not a dull one.

SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL (1997)--Directed by Jan De Bont. Stars Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe. Keanu Reeves turned down a multi-million dollar paycheck to return for this sequel; he must have read the script. Too bad sweet Sandra didn't. She isn't even given much to do--most of the action is given to her new boyfriend, played by handsome but bland Jason Patric, who may be a good actor, but is clearly no movie star. Instead of an out-of-control city bus, Bullock and Patric find themselves trapped aboard an out-of-control cruise ship traveling at the maddening speed of...20 miles per hour!? Not many opportunities for excitement or thrilling visuals there. It's all the masterwork of demented computer genius Dafoe, who has bleached his hair and puts leeches on his body to purge his blood of copper poisoning. If the gaps in logic don't get you, the dull pace will. Also with Colleen Camp, Michael G. Hagerty and Tim Conway (!) as Sandy's driving instructor!

SPEED ZONE (1989)--Directed by Jim Drake.  Stars John Candy, Eugene Levy, Donna Dixon, Peter Boyle.  Conceived as CANNONBALL RUN III. Perhaps Orion had difficulties obtaining the rights to the title, but the participation of producer Albert S. Ruddy and co-star Jamie Farr as "The Sheik" practically guarantees that SPEED ZONE was intended to be a sequel to the Burt Reynolds moneymakers. The problem is that Burt and his band of merry pranksters aren't in it. Instead, it's an SCTV-ized version that features John Candy, Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty, was written by Michael Short, and was directed by Jim Drake. It's an action/comedy with dull action and little comedy. And certainly lacking the star power of the CANNONBALL films, which sparkled with names like Roger Moore, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Shirley MacLaine, Farrah Fawcett, Peter Fonda and Jackie Chan. SPEED ZONE substitutes the Smothers Brothers, Matt Frewer, Alyssa Milano, Melody Anderson, Brooke Shields, Michael Spinks, Lee Van Cleef (who died in '89), Art Hindle and Tim Matheson.

Candy made a lot of mediocre movies, but I don't recall him ever giving a bad performance, and even the lack of funny material and the misguided romance with Dixon (who plays her character as a Marilyn Monroe impression) look somewhat reputable in his capable hands. Frewer, as an Englishman who teams up with hitman Flaherty (who resembles his Rocco n'er-do-well from the SCTV soap THE DAYS OF THE WEEK), wrestles with an appalling accent, but plays off Flaherty well, and their scenes are probably the film's liveliest. Dick and Tom Smothers look like they're having a good time, and Brooke Shields is surprisingly competent playing herself. Not acquitting themselves as well are Levy (who's wasted), Peter Boyle (struggling with a ridiculous character) and Shari Belafonte and Melody Anderson as beautiful Ph.D's who aren't allowed to be very sexy. SPEED ZONE is also missing the daring stunt work that might have made it worthwhile for action fans. There's a lot of fast driving and cars occasionally bumping each other, but the chases exhibit less energy than the bumper car party that rolls beneath the closing crawl. Also with Mimi Kuzyk, Carl Lewis, Harvey Atkin, John Schneider, Brian George, Don Lake and Richard Petty. After this and POLICE ACADEMY 4, Drake went back to TV sitcoms.

SPEEDTRAP (1977)--Directed by Earl Bellamy. Stars Joe Don Baker, Tyne Daly, Morgan Woodward. I confess to having a weakness for Baker's '70s exploitation flicks. From FRAMED to MITCHELL, the sight of the big Southerner walking tall and carrying a big stick is something of a guilty pleasure for me. Therefore, you may want to ignore me when I tell you to check out SPEEDTRAP. A private detective (Baker) and a policewoman (Daly) join forces to catch a tire-squealing car thief known as the Roadrunner. No points awarded for guessing the masked thief's identity. Lots of terrific car chases and slow-motion crashes. Also with Richard Jaeckel, Robert Loggia and Lana Wood.

SPEEDWAY (1968)--Directed by Norman Taurog. Stars Elvis Presley, Nancy Sinatra, Bill Bixby, Carl Ballantine, William Schallert, Gale Gordon. The seventh abysmal Taurog/Presley collaboration. Elvis is another racecar driver. His sleazy agent (Bixby) has been embezzling his winnings, which draws the attention of beautiful Internal Revenue agent Sinatra. Elvis draws her attention as well. Songs include "Your Groovy Self", "He's Your Uncle, Not Your Dad" and four more '60s classics.

SPELLBOUND (2002)—Directed by Jeffrey Blitz.  It may sound unlikely now, but the final third of SPELLBOUND is as suspenseful as any action movie you’ll see this year.  Blitz sends his camera around the country to follow eight junior-high students as they prepare for Scripps Howard’s 1999 National Spelling Bee.  The disparate kids are as fascinating as the bee itself, coming from all walks of life to compete for a common goal.  Among them are Ashley, an inner-city student whose proud black mother laments the lack of publicity surrounding her little girl’s achievements; Ted, an awkward Missouri farm boy whose intelligence isolates him from his few peers; Angela, whose Mexican immigrant parents still speak no English, despite living in America for two decades; April, who refers to her dingbat parents as Archie and Edith Bunker (to their dismay); and Harry, a hyperactive geek with an oddball sense of humor and quite likely ADD.  Blitz doesn’t delve into the socioeconomic or racial differences between the kids.  He presents them so matter-of-factly that it’s difficult to pick one to root for.  All deserve to win, and the contest, held in Washington D.C. and televised live on ESPN, is genuinely exciting.  Prepare to laugh and to cry if you watch this Oscar-nominated documentary.

SPHERE (1998)--Directed by Barry Levinson. Stars Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone, Samuel L. Jackson, Liev Schreiber. Based upon a Michael Crichton bestseller, this $80 million dud manages to waste both a talented cast and a potentially thought-provoking concept. A team of scientists--including stress psychologist Hoffman, biochemist Stone and mathematician Jackson--is summoned by the U.S. Government to a closely guarded location 1000 feet below the Pacific Ocean where a spacecraft has been found buried beneath miles of coral. The craft, which is at least 300 years old, contains a mysterious gold sphere, which begins to affect the crewmembers minds. Soon everyone is acting suspiciously, people begin dying off, and longtime colleagues refuse to trust each one another.

Despite attacks by jellyfish, a giant squid, creepy sea snakes, fire, and a sentient being calling itself Jerry, SPHERE actually contains very little action, and is a failure as a thriller, a horror film or as intelligent science fiction. The squid attack, which was one of the novel's most exciting setpieces, is disappointingly left mostly offscreen. Instead, the cast is forced to struggle with underdeveloped characters and line after line of technobabble. The screenplay by Stephen Hauser, Paul Attanasio (QUIZ SHOW) and Kurt Wimmer tosses in a few ambiguous suggestions of a past romantic relationship between Hoffman and Stone, but it all collapses into a confusing mess during the final hour. Even Jackson admits on the DVD's audio commentary that he didn't know exactly what was supposed to be going on either.

The visual effects, supervised by Jeffrey A. Okun (DEEP BLUE SEA), are murky and unconvincing, and the twist coda, lifted from Crichton's novel, is a complete copout. Elliot Goldenthal tries but fails to create suspense with a blustery and overly orchestrated musical score. Also with Peter Coyote (E.T. THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL), Queen Latifah, Marga Gomez, Huey Lewis (!), James Pickens Jr. and Levinson regular Ralph Tabakin (the cranky coroner from HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET). Hoffman and Levinson previously worked together on RAINMAN, SLEEPERS and WAG THE DOG.

SPIDER-MAN (2002)--Directed by Sam Raimi.  Stars Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco, Rosemary Harris, Cliff Robertson, J.K. Simmons.  Well, they finally got one right.  After years of dreary film versions of Marvel Comics superheroes, such as THE PUNISHER (which starred Dolph Lundgren as a doltish tough guy), CAPTAIN AMERICA (a ludicrous low-budget mess that went straight to video) and THE FANTASTIC FOUR (a Roger Corman tax shelter that has never legally been shown anywhere), SPIDER-MAN is among the finest comic book adaptations ever made.  Sure, X-MEN, BLADE and its sequel BLADE II were good movies, but they contained enough flaws to prevent them from being more than that.  One big mistake was to depart from the elements that made the comics interesting in the first place, like changing their costumes or going for a trendy "dark" atmosphere.  Although the Spider-Man character--and that of his all-too-human alter ego Peter Parker--has undergone much change in the comic book series over the last forty years, Raimi (EVIL DEAD) and scenarist David Koepp (JURASSIC PARK) wisely decided to stick with the basic premise cleverly rendered by writer Stan Lee and drawn by Steve Ditko in Marvel's AMAZING FANTASY #15 in 1963.

Parker (Maguire) is a nebbishy high school senior living in Queens, New York with his kindly Uncle Ben (Robertson) and Aunt May (Harris).  In most ways, he's a typical put-upon teenager.  The other kids pick on him because he's kind of small and prefers science to football.  He lives next door to his dream girl, red-haired Mary Jane Watson (Dunst), but how can he talk to her when she prefers good-looking jocks to wimpy academics?  In fact, Peter's only friend is another loner, brooding Harry Osborn (Franco), a nice enough but not-so-bright kid whose father just happens to be Norman Osborn (Dafoe), the head of Oscorp Industries and one of New York's wealthiest men.

Peter's life changes forever during an afternoon field trip to a laboratory doing research on spiders.  He's bitten by one exposed to radiation, which has the unforeseen side effect of imbuing him with the proportional speed and strength of a spider, as well as the ability to walk up walls, perform amazing acrobatics and shoot webs organically from his wrists.  After a loved one is killed tragically, Peter takes his Uncle Ben's words "With great power comes great responsibility" to heart, and decides to use his newfound powers for good.  Covered from head to toe in a snazzy red-and-blue costume that includes a mask to conceal his identity, Parker becomes Spider-Man, a wall-crawling crimefighter who may have met his match in the first supervillain he tangles with:  the Green Goblin, a cackling maniac clad in green armor who appears to cause mayhem and even murder with reckless abandon.  No points for guessing that Mary Jane becomes one of the Goblin's potential victims.

Filled from beginning to end with a litany of splashy visual effects and clever in-jokes, SPIDER-MAN ultimately succeeds on the strengths of its characters.  One reason Spider-Man has endured all these decades is his Everyman quality.  Who hasn't occasionally been the brunt of a cruel joke or been made to feel like an outsider?  Who among us hasn't had to struggle to make a rent payment or stammered in the presence of a man or woman we secretly love?  Unlike the invulnerable Superman and the wealthy Batman, Spider-Man feels like one of Us--the common man's superhero.  Brought to life by the winning Maguire, Parker is a young man impossible not to root for, whether he's slugging it out with a bad guy or struggling to untie his tongue long enough to say hi to Mary Jane.  By focusing not just on the special effects and fight scenes, but also on the relationships among the characters, Raimi and Koepp (with uncredited assists from script doctors Scott Rosenberg and Alvin Sargent) have crafted an action film that runs on emotion as well as adrenaline.

As good as Maguire is in the title role, a film like this is only as good as its villain, and few performers could have brought what Dafoe (PLATOON) does to the role.  As the Green Goblin, a tormented Jekyll-and-Hyde character torn between revenge upon his business partners and his love for his son, Dafoe manages a nifty blend of menace and pathos, especially in the scenes where he must act against himself.  It's a very good performance in which he knows better than to go too far, a lesson Jack Nicholson didn't learn when he undertook the part of the Joker in Tim Burton's BATMAN.  Dunst, with her sweet smile and girl-next-door sexiness, is perfect as M.J., beautiful, yes, but also not unattainable.  Harris and Robertson (great to see him back on the big screen) are perfectly paternal, and Simmons (LAW & ORDER) all but steals his few scenes as J. Jonah Jameson, Peter's gruff, brushcutted boss at the Daily Bugle, the newspaper for which he works as a freelance photographer.

The CGI effects by FX master John Dykstra (STAR WARS) are probably about as good as they could be.  Spidey often seems a bit flat and "videogame-y" while swinging across the cityscape, but Bob Murawski's crisp editing and Raimi's deft staging prevents the digital shots from being distracting.  Unfortunately, Danny Elfman's score is not among his best.  While his pompous BATMAN score has become the archetype for superhero music, SPIDER-MAN suffers from the lack of a recognizable theme.  It's not bad music at all (and compared to Michael Kamen's limp X-MEN score, it sounds like Herrmann at his peak), but it doesn't rouse the way it should.  The other technical credits, with sets and backlots often substituting for New York locations, are well done, as they should be for a movie that cost this much to make.

SPIDER-MAN is not Raimi's initial foray into the world of superheroics.  His DARKMAN was an interesting spin on the Frankenstein legend with Liam Neeson as an embittered scientist whose face was burned away by criminals.  And while Bruce Campbell's bumbling Ash can't be called a superhero in the traditional sense, the EVIL DEAD trilogy boasts several innovative action scenes and tongue-in-cheek swashbuckling moments.  Also with Bill Nunn, Ted Raimi, Bruce Campbell, Elizabeth Banks and quick cameos by Lucy Lawless (XENA) and Stan Lee.  Lee and Ditko receive deserved opening title cards.  Stay for the end credits and receive a nifty treat:  a recording of the endearingly goofy t