Marty's Marquee

Sitting Target-Something Wild


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SITTING TARGET (1972)—Directed by Douglas Hickox.  Stars Oliver Reed, Ian McShane, Jill St. John.  The late Oliver Reed stars as Harry, a physically imposing hood serving time in prison for a robbery after which he managed to stash away $200,000 in loot before he and his confederates were caught. Five months into his sentence, his wife Pat (Jill St. John, who I believe is dubbed by another actress) visits to tell him that she wants a divorce and is pregnant by her new lover. Enraged, Harry attempts to strangle her, and is tossed into solitary. There, he has plenty of time to grow more jealous and angry, and by the time he returns to his regular cell, he has decided to break out of prison and kill Pat.
 
Director Douglas Hickox (THEATER OF BLOOD) deftly handles the imaginative breakout scene, and receives plenty of aid from the wonderfully picturesque old prison where the first third of the film was shot, which comes complete with a large clock hanging on the wall, where a massive dangling pendulum reminds the defeated prisoners that they have nothing to look forward to but time itself. Busting out with his friend and robbery partner Birdy (Ian McShane), Harry begins plotting his wife's murder. Actually, there isn't much of a plan. Reed plays Harry like a bull in a china shop, his one-track mind focused on murder without giving much of a damn if he even gets caught or not. He tries to protect Birdy by sending his friend on his way, but the loyal buddy sticks with Harry to the bloody end.
 
Shot on some wonderfully evocative and stark London locations, SITTING TARGET is a grabber all the way through with taut performing across the board. THE EQUALIZER's Edward Woodward pops up as a cop on Harry and Birdy's trail, Frank Finlay is a pigeon named Marty (giving more credence to my Loser Marty Rule, which states that every character named Marty in a film will turn out to be a pimp, sleazebag, hoodlum, junkie or wimp), and lovely Jill Townsend (CIMARRON STRIP) has a nice part as a young woman who brings out a momentary softness in Harry.  Music by Stanley Myers.
 
SIX DAYS IN ROSWELL (1998)--Directed by Timothy B. Johnson. Stars Richard Kronfeld. From the makers of TREKKIES, a surprisingly affectionate documentary about rabid STAR TREK fans, comes SIX DAYS IN ROSWELL, which was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico in 1997 during a week-long fiftieth anniversary celebration of an alleged flying saucer crash. Host Rich Kronfeld, who appeared in TREKKIES in his homemade Captain Pike wheelchair, plays Rich Kronfeld, a Minnesota native who makes the trek to Roswell in hopes of being abducted by aliens. Whom he meets instead are the best parts of this pseudo-documentary, from the crusty geezer who rents Rich his trailer for $200 a night to teenage girls portraying scientists in a space-age passion play to real-life UFO experts like Whitley Strieber (COMMUNION). Best of all is the WAITING FOR GUFFMAN-style community theater's musical rendition of the notorious Roswell crash. The big drawback for me was the insertion of staged events and character backstory into the documentary approach, which left me wondering whether I was part of the joke. Still, Kronfeld is a cheeky presence--he really does collect old filmstrips and outdated audio equipment--and reminded me of Michael Moore in his method of interacting with his sometimes befuddled subjects. The DVD contains eight deleted scenes, a 19-minute making-of featurette, three trailers, a photo gallery and filmmaker bios. The most interesting section contains several early short films and public access television works by Johnson, Kronfeld and producer Roger Nygard.

SIX DAYS SEVEN NIGHTS (1998)--Directed by Ivan Reitman. Stars Harrison Ford, Anne Heche, David Schwimmer, Jacqueline Obradors. Lightweight entertainment casting Ford as Quinn, a burned-out alcoholic charter pilot hired to fly vacationing couple Robin (Heche) and Frank (Schwimmer) to the island paradise of Macatea in the South Pacific. Their trip is interrupted by a call from Robin's boss in New York, asking her to take an overnight sidetrip to Tahiti. For $700, Quinn is convinced to leave his voluptuous ladyfriend Angelica (Obradors) behind and make the trip, but a thunderstorm forces him to crashland on a deserted isle. Since he's a hard-drinking rough-and-tumble type, and she's a sophisticated magazine editor, Quinn and Robin obviously have to argue with each other before that ol' Opposites Attract thing kicks into high gear, and the two fall in love. In between the bickering and the kissing, a band of pirates ("Pirates? As in 'Arrgh'?") pops up long enough for Ford to demonstrate why he's still one of America's great action heroes.

Although she's obviously a couple decades shy of her costar, Heche appears radiant onscreen, and, while they aren't going to make anyone forget THE AFRICAN QUEEN, has good chemistry with Ford, who's a lot looser than usual and is not afraid to act silly, even engaging in a pratfall or two. The subplot involving Schwimmer and Obradors's search for their missing lovers while falling into bed themselves isn't all that interesting, although it gives us plenty of chances to check out the stunning California-born actress in very little clothing.

Reitman keeps the pace from flagging over its 101 minutes, and, although you probably won't remember a damn thing about SIX DAYS SEVEN NIGHTS a day after you see it, it's okay fun while it lasts. Cinematographer Michael Chapman expertly captures the natural beauty of the Kauai locations, while Randy Edelman's proficient score hits the right tropical notes. Also with Temuera Morrison (FROM DUSK TILL DAWN 3), Allison Janney (AMERICAN BEAUTY), Douglas Weston, Cliff Curtis and Danny Trejo (CON AIR). From the director of MEATBALLS and GHOSTBUSTERS.

SIX PACK (1982)--Directed by Daniel Petrie. Stars Kenny Rogers, Erin Gray, Diane Lane, Anthony Michael Hall, Barry Corbin, Terry Kiser. The kind of movie Elvis Presley would have made, if he were still alive and singing country music. Kenny is a racecar driver who adopts six wild orphans. Gray (BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY) has the Shelley Fabares/Diane McBain role as Kenny's girl. Rogers is amiable enough, but not possessed with a lot of big-screen charisma. Theme song, "Love Will Turn You Around", was a country hit for Kenny.
 
SIX-PACK ANNIE--See SIXPACK ANNIE. 

SIX-STRING SAMURAI (1998)--Directed by Lance Mungia. Stars Jeffrey Falcon, Justin McGuire, Stephane Gauger. I've never before seen an action movie with a body count as high as this one that was so damn boring. Technically superb but ultimately uninteresting hybrid of THE ROAD WARRIOR, Clint Eastwood's "The Man With No Name" trilogy and Akira Kurosawa epics. Its 1957, and the U.S. is an apocalyptic wasteland after the Soviet Union dropped the bomb on us. The American capital is Lost Vegas, and The King (Elvis Presley!) has just died. Every aspiring rock-and-roller with a guitar is on his way to Lost Vegas to audition to become the new King, and one of them is Buddy (Falcon), a tight-lipped, tux-wearing loner with thick Buddy Holly glasses (taped in the middle) and a samurai sword taped to the back of his Fender Stratocaster. He's traveling (reluctantly) with a young orphan boy (McGuire) whose life he saved from mutants, and is pursued by a black-hooded warrior (think Darth Vader) named Death (Gauger), who's trying to kill off all the competition for the King's throne.

Filmed in Death Valley on a reported budget of $50,000, SIX-STRING SAMURAI boasts some of the most striking desert cinematography (by Kristian Bernier) you've ever seen outside of a John Ford epic, and the rat-a-tat-tat editing helps the (many) action scenes. Unfortunately, the story (by Falcon and Mungia) is very slow going, the characters are under-developed, Falcon (a known action star in Hong Kong) is a blank on-screen, and Mungia's overindulgent direction (involving tons of slow-motion) irritates more than enlivens. To stay awake, count the many homages (ripoffs?) of other (better) movies, including THE WIZARD OF OZ and INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM. Outstanding Tex-Mex score by Brian Tyler and The Red Elvises may be the film's best feature. Also with Kim DeAngelo, Clifford Hugo and Gabrille Pimenter.
 
SIXPACK ANNIE (1975)--Directed by John C. Broderick.  Stars Lindsay Bloom, Louisa Moritz, Jana Bellan.  What's a beer-guzzling', wild-drivin' tease like hillbilly Annie (Bloom) to do when the bank threatens to foreclose on her aunt's smalltown diner?  She heads to the big city of Miami to meet up with her hooker sister (Moritz) and hopefully find herself a sugar daddy to finance her family's future.  Filled with cornpone humor, mildly risqué sex gags and barely enough skin to garner an R rating, SIXPACK is too amiable to hate, but too silly and tame to get excited about either.  Also with Joe Higgins, Richard Kennedy, Larry Mahan, Pedro Gonzales-Gonzales, Stubby Kaye, Doodles Weaver, Sid Melton, Ray Danton and a young Bruce Boxleitner.  AIP released this redneck classic.  Bloom went on to embody Mickey Spillane's voluptuous Velda in the MIKE HAMMER TV show with Stacy Keach.
 
16 BLOCKS (2006)--Directed by Richard Donner.  Stars Bruce Willis, Mos Def, David Morse.  16 BLOCKS is a blatant (and uncredited) ripoff of THE GAUNTLET, a 1977 Clint Eastwood picture that is ten times better, even if it does co-star Sondra Locke.  16 BLOCKS' "Locke" is Mos Def, who may actually be a more obnoxious performer.  Bruce Willis, who is very good, plays Burned-Out Alcoholic Big-City Cop #729 (I wonder if BOABCC has ever appeared in a film with SEEV. What am I saying? Of course, he has!).  Willis is assigned the shit detail of transporting a petty thief (Mos Def) from jail to the courthouse so he can testify before the grand jury in two hours.  The courthouse is only 16 blocks away, but gunmen attack Willis' sedan on the street in broad daylight.  A drunken Bruce somehow kills one attacker and wounds another before grabbing Mos and splitting.  From there, it's a chase (but not much of one) to the grand jury chambers with the two heroes being pursued by murderous corrupt cops (seemingly the whole damn precinct) led by David Morse.  Morse is one of those guys who has been an amazing actor for a very long time, but who knows who he is?  He spent two seasons on CBS headlining a good crime drama called HACK in which he played--hey, how about that--a corrupt cop.  He has the presence and the physical size to dramatically battle Willis on-screen, and their scenes together cook.  The rest of the film is not much.  Director Richard Donner doesn't seem interested in the action, and gives us a lot of Mos Def chattering about nonsense.  The gimmick of getting a witness to the courthouse by a certain time limit is tried and true, but I've never seen a film where the courthouse was just down the street.  There could have been a suspenseful thriller made from this premise, but 16 BLOCKS ain't it.  Also with Casey Sander, Jenna Stern, Robert Clohessy and David Zayas.  Decent score by Klaus Badelt.
 
SIXTEEN CANDLES (1984)--Directed by John Hughes. Stars Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Michael Schoeffling, Gedde Watanabe, Paul Dooley. Typical Hughes teen comedy about a sixteen-year-old girl (Ringwald) who is disappointed when her family forgets her birthday. She also faces the usual adolescent problems of unrequited crushes and sibling jealousy. As in other Hughes films, the adults are frustratingly stupid. Ringwald is pouty as usual. John Cusack has a small role.
 
THE 6TH DAY (2000)—Directed by Roger Spottiswoode.  Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tony Goldwyn, Robert Duvall, Michael Rooker, Wendy Crewson, Michael Rapaport.  Why do clones have to wear glasses?  That’s one of many questions you’ll be asking yourself during this dumb, lethargic sci-fi actioner that dates itself in its first minute by introducing an XFL quarterback with a $300 million contract (in reality, Vince McMahon’s lunkheaded football league folded after one laughable season).  Regular guy Schwarzenegger returns home from work on his birthday to discover a clone enjoying his party.  Armed assassins, led by Rooker, attempt to kill him to prevent him from spilling the beans—human clones are illegal, but pet cloning is cool in the near future—but Arnold gets away and hides out at his best buddy Rapaport’s house to figure out what’s going on.  Spottiswoode is going for a Hitchcockian innocent-on-the-run thing, I think, but big Arnold, who becomes a quipping stunt driver and fighter more than capable of defending himself against Rooker’s army of baddies, is clearly no Everyman.  The plot is silly, and some of the visual effects are quite disappointing.  Arnold is Arnold, though a bit goofier than usual in trying to play a regular Joe with a suburban family.  Also with Sarah Wynter (trying too hard to be edgy), Terry Crews and Rodney Rowland.  Music by Trevor Rabin, who hopefully isn’t responsible for the hilariously inappropriate pop song that inexplicably plays over one scene.

THE SIXTH SENSE (1999)--Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Stars Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Olivia Williams, Toni Collette. Excellent lead performances and some creepy atmosphere propel this supernatural ghost story. Willis plays a child psychologist named Malcolm Crowe, who, as the movie opens, is home with his wife Anna (Williams) celebrating an award from the mayor in appreciation of his shrink skills. The revelry comes to an abrupt halt however, when a former patient of Malcolm's named Vincent breaks into their home, shoots Malcolm in the stomach and kills himself. Months later, after what we assume is a period of convalescence, Malcolm has become very insecure in his ability to heal, blaming himself for Vincent's suicide. His road to salvation is a young boy whom he begins treating named Cole Sear (Osment), a paranoid loner whose mother becomes worried by the emotional and physical scars Cole carries. Malcolm begins to realize that Cole has the ability to see dead spirits walking the streets all around us. More than that, he can actually communicate with them, and they aren't always friendly.

To say more would ruin the scenario concocted by writer/director Shyamalan, whose characters, mood and often alarming scenes culminate in a shocking twist ending I didn't see coming at all, but in retrospect is really the only climax this story could possess. Willis, one of Hollywood's most interesting actors when he puts his mind to it (which isn't often enough for my tastes) and one of the few willing to take chances with an unconventional storyline, delivers one of his finest performances, frequently touching as he comes to terms with his own perceived inability as a healer and a foundering marriage. The standout performance, however, is Osment's; best known as the young Tom Hanks in FORREST GUMP, Osment goes toe to toe with Willis every step of the way. He definitely isn't a typical child actor who mainly looks and acts cute while reacting to the more experienced adults around him. This is a genuine full-fledged acting job, and there are two scenes in particular--one with Willis in a hospital and another with his mother (Collette) in a car--that are astonishing in the way Osment is able to express frustration and fear. Williams and Collette are solid, James Newton Howard's score is overly mawkish but serviceable, and frequent Jonathan Demme cinematographer Tak Fujimoto adds immeasurably to the scare factor with his odd camera angles and striking use of color (that red balloon...). Also with Donnie Wahlberg, Glenn Fitzgerald, Mischa Barton, Bruce Norris and director Shyamalan as a doctor.

 
SKATEBOARD (1978)—Directed by George Gage.  Stars Allen Garfield, Kathleen Lloyd, Richard Van der Wyk, Anthony Carbone.  Basically the BAD NEWS BEARS of skateboarding, this late’-70s PG relic is an affable little movie.  Without a name cast or any exploitable elements, it helps if you’re into skateboarding.  Down-and-out agent Manny Blum (Garfield) figures to pick up a few bucks by leaping on the then-hot skateboarding trend and putting together a professional skateboard team, the Los Angeles Wheels, to tour and put on skateboarding exhibitions.  His team of youths range in age from 8 to 18.  His shady financier Sol (Carbone) demands an instant return on his investment, however, and if the Wheels don’t win the big climactic $20,000 freestyle contest, Manny may be walking around on broken legs.  Not really a whole lot happens, but this little picture is likable and energetic and worth a spin.  Many of the actors are real skateboarding experts.  Also with Leif Garrett, Gordon Jump and Orson Bean as himself.  Chad McQueen is reportedly one of the skateboarders.  LAW & ORDER guru Dick Wolf was a producer, and Mark Snow composed the score.
 
SKELETON COAST (1987)—Directed by John “Bud” Cardos.  Stars Ernest Borgnine, Daniel Greene, Robert Vaughn.  An all-star cast of Hollywood has-beens went all the way to South Africa to headline this action-filled ripoff of UNCOMMON VALOR.  When his CIA agent son is kidnapped in Angola by a sadistic German major (Vaughn, who barely bothers to use an accent), retired colonel Borgnine recruits an army of mercenaries to cross the desert and rescue him from an old fortress.  Oily Vaughn, who played a similar character in another South African-lensed potboiler, Cannon’s RIVER OF DEATH, probably only worked a few days, as did name stars Herbert Lom (as Borgnine’s contact) and Oliver Reed (in a puzzling part that feels tacked on just to add some marquee value).  Borgnine spares no cliché in assembling a squad, picking a hunk, a sexy blonde, a South African knife expert, a tanned old British dude, a large black guy and a Japanese ninja.  Lots of stuff blows up, and this Harry Alan Towers production is pretty painless all around.  Borgnine appears in almost every scene, and he wasn’t getting many lead roles at this point in his career.  Also with Daniel Greene, Peter Kwong, Arnold Vosloo, Nancy Mulford and Leon Isaac Kennedy.  The screenplay is credited to Nadia Calliou, whose husband Alan wrote Cardos’ KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS.
 
SKI LIFT TO DEATH (1978)—Directed by William Wiard.  Stars Charles Frank, Deborah Raffin, Clu Gulager, Don Johnson.  SKI LIFT TO DEATH is not just a silly title. It also makes a promise that the damn movie ultimately doesn't keep. For one thing, it takes almost an hour for this 1978 made-for-TV movie to show us a ski lift. And when our cast of hazily sketched characters finally climbs into it, it doesn't take us to Death or even anywhere near it. It takes us to a crummy blue screen and a suspenseless climax, but, nope, no Death. In fact, the movie's entire body count is a whopping zero.
 
Available on DVD as SNOWBLIND on a rotten print that's taken from a grimy VHS tape and missing the original opening titles, SKI LIFT TO DEATH is one of a zillion TV-movies that capitalized on the disaster-movie fad of the mid-1970s. It follows the same basic format: spend the first half or so introducing us to several disparate characters, plop them into soap-opera machinations, then bring them together in a potentially disastrous scenario where they'll have to work together to survive. It worked in THE TOWERING INFERNO and THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. It doesn't work here.
 
Deborah Raffin (DEATH WISH 3) leads the way as a world-champion skier who returns to her hometown lodge for a competition. She reunites with her old boyfriend, Charles Frank (YOUNG MAVERICK), a former champion skier who retired young to work the ski patrol back home. Others in the cast include Don Johnson (!) as a cowboy who shacks up with a 17-year-old hottie who wins the local "T-shirt dance" contest (network TV's tame version of a wet T-shirt contest); IRONSIDE's Don Galloway as a network sportscaster with the hots for local reporter Veronica Hamel (later on HILL STREET BLUES); the great character actor Clu Gulager (THE LAST PICTURE SHOW) as Raffin's new manager; Howard Duff as a swindler deciding whether or not to testify against the mob and Gail Strickland as his wife, who secretly works for the mob and arranges a hit against him; Pierre Jalbert (COMBAT) as the French hitman; and real-life gold medalist Suzy "Chapstick" Chaffee as a, er, champion skier.
 
After tons of subplotting, most of the cast finally gets on the titular ski lift, which gets blown about and stranded high above the mountain. It happens so late in the film that the denouement flies right by with barely anyone receiving so much as a scratch. It's comforting knowing that surviving a ski lift headed to Death is easier than you might expect, but it's not very good entertainment. Frankly, I expected much more from writer Laurence Heath, who served as MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE's story editor and producer for several seasons and was responsible for penning many of that series' best episodes. Director William Wiard directed tons of TV episodes, particularly for THE ROCKFORD FILES, and brings little to this table, though it undoubtedly would have helped if a better star than Charles Frank had headed the cast.
 
SKIDOO (1968)--Directed by Otto Preminger.  Stars Jackie Gleason, Carol Channing, Groucho Marx, John Philip Law, Frankie Avalon, Cesar Romero, Alexandra Hay, Mickey Rooney, Austin Pendleton.  Holy crap.  Everything you've heard about this notoriously awful big-budget all-star Paramount counterculture comedy is true.  Long reviled as one of the worst and most wrongheaded movies ever made, SKIDOO remains somewhat watchable in a train-wreck sort of way--but only once.  I don't think my retinas could take a return trip.
 
52-year-old Gleason stars in his allegedly hip youth comedy as Tony Banks, a former Mob assassin who retired from the organization seventeen years earlier when his daughter Darlene (Hay) was born to his wife Flo (the forever unappealing, unattractive and untalented Channing).  The same evening the conservative Tony meets his daughter's new boyfriend, hippie Stash (Law), his old business acquaintance Hechy (Romero) drops by with his son Angie (Avalon) with a proposition.  Gangster "Blue Chips" Packard (Rooney) plans to testify against the head of the Syndicate, the mysterious germ-hating God (Marx), who orders Tony to infiltrate the prison where Packard is incarcerated and "kiss" him.
 
Writer Doran William Cannon cares so little about the plot, however, that he fails to really wrap it up at the end.  Instead of a linear story, SKIDOO consists of a series of increasingly absurd comic scenes that are unlike any other you've ever seen.  Not that this makes them funny or entertaining, mind you, just jawdroppingly wild.  For instance, Gleason's LSD trip, in which he lies on his prison bunk hallucinating Groucho's head rotating on a flying screw (!) and his cellmates shrunken to the size of a mouse and surrounded by a glowing pink pyramid.  Or Groucho himself puffing on a joint.  Or Channing's excruciatingly tasteless striptease (she was 47 at the time).  Or Preminger's wildly inaccurate view of the hippie lifestyle.  Handed an M rating by the MPAA, probably for its drug use and mild swearing, SKIDOO, like MYRA BRECKINRIDGE and HEAVEN'S GATE, lives up--or is that down--to its reputation by throwing so many sight gags and over-the-hill guest stars at the screen that, mathematically, some have to work.  None do.  Two things I did like were Pendleton in his film debut as a draft-dodging electronics whiz and the clever closing credits, which are sung by composer Harry Nilsson.  If you're still jonesing for cameos, keep an eye out for the obviously British Peter Lawford as an American senator, Burgess Meredith, George Raft, Frank Gorshin, Fred Clark, Richard Kiel, Slim Pickens, Robert Donner, Michael Constantine, Arnold Stang, Roman Gabriel and model Luna.
 
SKIN GAME (1971)--Directed by Paul Bogart. Stars James Garner, Lou Gossett, Susan Clark, Brenda Sykes, Andrew Duggan. I'll say one thing about the makers of SKIN GAME, especially director Bogart, writers Richard Alan Simmons (COLUMBO) and Peter Stone (CHARADE) and star James Garner (whose Cherokee Productions made it)--they, to quote Dabney Coleman in DRAGNET, "got balls the size of church bells". It's a sure bet this movie would never get financed by a Hollywood studio today. That's right--it's a lighthearted comedy about slavery! Despite the PG rating it earned from the MPAA in 1971, Turner Classic Movies aired it with a TV-14 for "racially sensitive material". That seems a bit harsh to me, for, despite its surprisingly candid look at slavery, it seems such an adult rating might cause viewers to shy away from a film that makes genuine points between the laughs.

In the pre-Civil War West, white Quincy (Garner) and black Jason (Gossett) are fast-talking conmen and friends who travel from small town to small town, working their perennial scam. Pretending to be a slave owner hard up for cash and his "yassuh, nossuh" property, Quincy pops into the local saloon or slave auction to sell Jason for a few hundred bucks, later to rescue him and split the dough. The two have quite a bankroll squirreled away in a Chicago bank, and Jason, whose role in the play is obviously more dangerous, is ready to retire. Quincy convinces his pal to do one last touch, an auction which could fetch up to $2000. Complications arise in the form of two women: Ginger (Clark), another con artist wise to Quincy and Jasons masquerade, and Naomi (Sykes), a beautiful slave girl who Jason wants Quincy to buy for him. The plot's more serious undertones kick in when Jason, who was born in New Jersey and has always been free, is actually forced into slavery on the plantation of the cruel Calloway (Duggan), leading to Quincy's months-long search for his friend.

I thought SKIN GAME was marvelous, featuring fun performances by Garner and Gossett, who share a genuine warmth and chemistry on screen (Gossett later guested on Garner's ROCKFORD FILES series a couple of times), which makes the potentially incendiary plot easier to take. Both actors are given chances to shine on their own, and Gossett especially makes the most of them, able to use his natural charisma and intelligence to put his character on the same level as Garner's. Not to say that SKIN GAME is watered down; there's a real edge to the racial humor. The N-word pops up almost as often as a Quentin Tarantino script, and, while I found it a bit unnerving, I have the feeling it was Bogart's intention. This is not HOGAN'S HEROES (a show I personally have no problem with) with bumbling slave owners--these are cruel, callous, arrogant men--but SKIN GAME finds just the right balance between social commentary and MAVERICK-style humor. It's no less thought-provoking than a Spike Lee film, but slicker and more entertaining than most.

Also with Ed Asner, Henry Jones, Neva Patterson, Parley Baer, Royal Dano, Juanita Moore, Dort Clark, George Wallace and Burt Mustin. Music by David Shire. Longtime Garner associate Meta Rosenberg served as executive producer, while Bogart had previously worked with the star in MARLOWE. Gossett returned as Jason three years later in the made-for-TV remake SIDEKICKS, with Larry Hagman replacing Garner.

THE SKULL (1965)--Directed by Freddie Francis. Stars Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Patrick Wymark, Jill Bennett. This Amicus production based on Robert Bloch's 1946 short story "The Skull of Marquis de Sade" features a typically classy Cushing performance and excellent Francis direction. Cushing plays a collector of black magic artifacts who is offered a chance to buy the cranium of the notorious mad Frenchman from fellow collector Wymark. Cushing does so, despite advice to the contrary by friend Lee, who also owned the skull at one time, but was glad when it was stolen because of its evil powers of possession. Milton Subotsky's script is short on dialogue, but Francis has filled in the holes with plenty of moody photography, camera tricks (including POV shots through the skull's eyes) and special effects. Scenes of Cushing being menaced by a floating skull are pretty creepy. Excellent cast includes Michael Gough, George Coulouris, Patrick Magee and Nigel Green.
 

SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW (2004)--Directed by Kerry Conran.  Stars Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Giovanni Ribisi.  More remarkable for how it came to be than for what it actually is, SKY CAPTAIN is a $70 million movie made almost exclusively on a Mac computer.  Nearly all of the sets, visuals and special effects were manufactured digitally, while the performers did all of their acting in front of green screens, allowing first-time writer/director Conran to add their surroundings later.  An homage to '40s pulps and comic books, SKY CAPTAIN suffers from thin writing and lifeless stars unable to take advantage of Conran's technical advantages.  Worst of all, the ugly cinematography is gauzy and forever brown in its attempt to smooth over the difference between the live action and the computer effects.  Sky Captain (Law, an associate producer who was instrumental in getting Paramount to bankroll the production) is called in when giant flying robots attack a major American city.  Simultaneously, hotshot reporter Polly Perkins (Paltrow) is investigating the disappearance of several prominent scientists.  When Sky's sidekick Dex (Ribisi) is the next to vanish, the former lovers team up to banter their way to Nepal, where a long-lost scientist named Totenkopf is planning a destructive new future for planet Earth.  Paltrow looks the part, but has no romantic chemistry with Law or a sense of humor.  Of the main cast members, only Ribisi and Jolie, as an eye-patched ally of Sky Captain's, appear comfortable in period costuming and in this type of retro adventure.  Edward Shearmur attempts to capture the excitement of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK in his Williams-esque score, but Conran's screenplay is just too full of homages and too empty of excitement and original ideas.  Bai Ling is wasted as a lethal Asian assassin, and Sir Laurence Olivier, of all people, is dragged from the grave to appear via computer technology as Totenkopf.

 

SKY HIGH (2005)--Directed by Mike Mitchell.  Stars Kurt Russell, Kelly Preston, Michael Angarano, Danielle Panabaker, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Bruce Campbell.  Who would have expected this charming, relatively low-budget ($35 million, according to the Internet Movie Database) Disney movie to be one of the best superhero adventures ever made?  Considering it was directed by Mike Mitchell, whose work includes the stinkeroos DEUCE BIGALOW: MALE GIGOLO and SURVIVING CHRISTMAS, I doubt anybody did.  Partnered with screenwriters with extensive Disney credentials, including the animated KIM POSSIBLE superhero series on the Disney Channel, Mitchell has crafted an amusing and exciting family movie that effectively mixes its heroics with more down-to-earth subjects befitting its teen characters.

 

14-year-old Will Stronghold (Angarano) is attending his first day at Sky High, the same high school his parents attended.  It’s a lot to live up to, considering A) it’s a special high school for kids with superpowers, B) Will’s parents are The Commander (Russell) and Jetstream (Preston), the world’s greatest superheroes, and C) Will, unlike his peers and unbeknownst to his folks, has no inherited powers of his own.  Even his best pal Layla (Panabaker) has the ability to control plant life.  At school, Will’s lack of superpowers relegates him to “sidekick” status, along with the girl who can transform herself into a guinea pig and the boy who can glow in the dark.

 

But what’s this?  Turns out that Will is just a late bloomer, his latent super-strength bursting to the surface during a cafeteria brawl with a bully.  Suddenly, Gwen (Winstead), the beautiful student body president, becomes interested in him, inviting Will to join the rest of the “heroes” and leave his sidekick friends in the dust.  Meanwhile, one of his parents’ archenemies is surreptitiously spying on Will’s family in their “secret sanctum”, which doesn’t bode well for the Strongholds’ appearance at the upcoming Homecoming dance.

 

I loved everything about this movie, starting with the casting and including its judicious use of visual effects that serve the story and its characters, rather than the other way around.  Even though the adult performers play second fiddle to the kids, all are a joy to watch.  Few actors would be able to make the vainglorious Commander a likable character, but Russell, the most self-effacing of Hollywood movie stars, is wonderfully straight and confident, meshing well with the ageless Preston as his wife and crime-fighting partner.  Campbell gets big laughs as the arrogant gym teacher (“Is that your power?  Buttkissery?”); Hollywood’s failure to find a use for his comic talent borders on criminal.

 

SKY HIGH is one of Disney’s most accomplished live-action features in some time, a fantasy that both kids and their parents can enjoy together.  Mitchell and his writers have a firm grasp on the way superhero comic books used to be--fast, colorful fun--rather than the dark, violent dirges that have inspired downbeat pictures like DAREDEVIL and the X-MEN franchise.  The director also gets the utmost from his special effects budget, staging cute scenes of a flying school bus and major superhero battles with equal panache.  Nobody is seriously injured, the bad guys get their just desserts, and everyone lives happily ever after.  Who says comic book movies have to be all doom and gloom?  Former Wonder Woman Lynda Carter, Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Cloris Leachman and Broken Lizard’s Kevin Heffernan prop up the adult cast, while the winning juvenile co-stars include Kelly Vitz, Dee Jay Daniels and Stephen Strait.  Michael Giacchino (THE INCREDIBLES) provides the score.

 
SKY MURDER (1940)--Directed by George B. Seitz.  Stars Walter Pidgeon, Donald Meek, Joyce Compton, Edward Ashley.  43-year-old Pidgeon is handsome and debonair in his third go-round as ace detective Nick Carter, who's invited to Washington, D.C. by his wealthy friend Courtland Grand (Ashley) at the behest of a senator, who wants Carter to ferret out a ring of Fifth Columnists.  At first, Carter refuses, being more interested in the beautiful models staying at Grand's mansion, but when a murder is committed aboard Carter's flight home aboard his pal's private plane, it looks as though he may be getting more closely involved than he had anticipated.  Meek provides distracting, though obligatory-for-the-era, comic relief as Carter's sidekick Beeswax.  Also with Tom Conway, Chill Wills, Tom Neal and Milton Parsons.  Follows NICK CARTER, MASTER DETECTIVE and PHANTOM RAIDERS.  Pidgeon played Bulldog Drummond in a film a decade later.
 
SKYJACKED (1972)--Directed by John Guillermin. Stars Charlton Heston, Walter Pidgeon, James Brolin, Rosey Grier. Heston (who would later appear in AIRPORT 1975) is the square-jawed pilot of a passenger plane menaced by a psycho Nam vet bomber (TV nice guy Brolin!) in this MGM disaster flick. The usual soap opera antics, action clichés and glimpses of familiar supporting actors ensue. Cast includes Mariette Hartley, Claude Akins, Mike Henry, Yvette Mimieux, Jeanne Crain, John Hillerman, Leslie Uggams, Ken Swofford, Nicholas Hammond and Susan Dey. Also known as SKY TERROR.
 
SKYSCRAPER (1995)--Directed by Raymond Martino. Stars Anna Nicole Smith, Charles Huber, Richard Steinmetz. Former Playmate of the Year and future laughing stock Smith is perhaps the worst actress ever to topline a Hollywood production. I'm not sure what words to use in describing her turn as helicopter pilot Carrie Wisk in this PM action movie. "Wretched", "amateurish", "appalling" and "wooden" all are technically accurate, but still aren't strong enough to describe just how bad she is. It's impossible to work up any sympathy for the character she plays, because there is no character, either in John Larrabee and William Applegate Jr.'s formulaic screenplay or in what Anna brings to the screen. She brings nothing besides a set of gigantic breasts, which are frequently freed on camera, motivation be damned. She might be reading cue cards--her stilted delivery certainly indicates that she is...and she's not a very good reader either. I swear I even caught her looking at the camera one time.
 
The story is DIE HARD in a Los Angeles office building. As opposed to a Century City office building, you see. Terrorists led by South African maniac Huber (receiving both an "Introducing" and an associate producer credit, as does Smith) invade the titular structure in search of...something or other. It might as well be a MacGuffin, for all the use it plays in the plot. Anyway, Huber's goons take the building hostage, Smith finds herself in possession of what they're looking for, and everybody chases everybody else around, stopping momentarily to shoot a lot of bullets or kick somebody off a roof or through a windowpane. Cole McKay (THE UNDERGROUND) coordinates some mighty impressive stunts--typical for a PM picture of this vintage--but casting Anna Nicole was a gigantic mistake that director Martino can't shake. As Martino also directed her in just about every movie she ever did (thankfully few), I imagine he can accept most of the blame (his direction is very sloppy too--check out all the squibs that explode, even though no bullets are being fired). She performs quite nicely in the surprisingly graphic sex scenes (including one hilariously out-of-place flashback), but as soon as she opens her mouth, her lack of any discernible talent outside of her 39D's tumbles SKYSCRAPER to the ground. And don't even get me started on her fighting technique, which rivals Rudy Ray Moore's for sheer lunacy. Jonathan Fuller delivers another wretched performance (and French accent), with Lee de Broux, Calvin Levels, Deirdre Imershein, Eugene Robert Glazer, Floyd Levin and Gary Imhoff as a comic-relief security guard. Music by Jim Halfpenny.
 
SLACKER (1991)--Directed by Richard Linklater. Completely unstructured and sometimes tedious debut feature by Austin filmmaker Linklater follows various people around during a 24-hour period--killers, students, drunks, conspiracy theorists, weirdos, cab drivers. When one stops talking, Linklater's camera finds someone else and follows them around for awhile. Some of it is interesting, but some of it goes on way too long. My favorite guy was the one following people around on the street talking in a friendly, matter-of-fact way about the alien invasions underway. Reportedly made for $23,000, and shot in 16mm. Linklater followed this with the excellent DAZED AND CONFUSED.

SLAP SHOT (1977)--Directed by George Roy Hill. Stars Paul Newman, Michael Ontkean, Strother Martin, Lindsay Crouse. Rowdy, foul-mouthed comedy about a rotten minor-league hockey team that becomes a winner when it adopts a dirty style of play is one of the best sports-oriented movies ever made. The Charlestown (NY) Chiefs, led by burned-out player/coach Newman, are on the verge of being folded. Attendance is low, morale even lower, and even penny-pinching general manager Martin is shopping around for a new job. Newman concocts a scheme to save the team by convincing his players to abandon its old-time style ("Like Eddie Shore!") in favor of a show-bizzy swatfest approach (eerily prescient of today's pro wrestling).

Was controversial at the time of its initial release because of the vulgar locker-room language; ironically, the film was scripted by a woman, Nancy Dowd, whose brother was a professional hockey player. Bawdy humor isn't for all tastes, but it is very funny and violent. The Hanson brothers, three near-sighted goons hired for their ability to wreak physical havoc upon opposing players (and officials...and fans), practically steal the show. Ontkean (TWIN PEAKS) has a nice role as a sensitive player who eschews Newman's raucous approach, while Crouse is fine as his lonely wife. Also with Jennifer Warren, Jerry Houser, M. Emmet Walsh, Brad Sullivan, Yvon Barrette, Stephen Mendillo, Brad Sullivan, Melinda Dillon, Kathryn Walker, Swoozie Kurtz, Paul Dooley, Andrew Duncan and Jeff Carlson, Steve Carlson and David Hanson as the Hanson brothers. From the director of THE STING.

SLAUGHTER (1972)--Directed by Jack Starrett. Stars Jim Brown, Stella Stevens, Rip Torn, Don Gordon, Cameron Mitchell. Hard-hitting blaxploitation from American-International Pictures stars former Cleveland Brown running back Brown as former Green Beret Slaughter. He tracks down his parents' killers, then heads to Mexico to dispatch bigoted mobster Torn. Lots of shootouts, chases, explosions and flying fists, and an excellent nude scene by Stevens. Brown made his film debut in 1964's RIO CONCHOS, but this was his first solo starring assignment. Filmed in Mexico City. Mitchell has only two scenes. Also with Marlene Clark and Robert Phillips. From the director of RACE WITH THE DEVIL. Theme written and performed by Billy Preston. SLAUGHTER'S BIG RIP-OFF was the sequel.

SLAUGHTER HIGH (1987)--Directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra & Peter Litten. Stars Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Sally Cross, Kelly Baker. Wimpy high-school student Scuddamore is accidentally scarred in a prank pulled by cruel classmates. When his class reunites at their old, now abandoned, school ten years later, Scuddamore kills them off one by one. One woman takes a bath and is burnt to a crisp when Scuddamore substitutes acid for water! Typically dumb slasher film starring British cult actress Munro. Music by Harry Manfredini. Claimed to be "From the Makers of FRIDAY THE 13TH", but that was bogus (although Manfredini did score both).

SLAUGHTER OF THE INNOCENTS (1993)--Directed by James Glickenhaus. Stars Scott Glenn, Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus, Darlanne Fluegel. Pretty good police procedural that bypassed theaters and went straight to HBO. Glenn is an FBI agent with a highly intelligent young son (played by the director's son) who investigates a psychotic religious freak who is kidnapping and molesting little kids. He stores their remains in his Utah cave hideout, which contains an ark! Pretty grim stuff, with a good performance by Glenn. Cameron-Glickenhaus is not obnoxious the way many kid actors are, which is good since he gets a lot of screen time. Also with Zake Moakes, Zitto Kazann and Sheila Tousey. Filmed in Cleveland and Utah.
 
SLAUGHTER'S BIG RIP-OFF (1973)--Directed by Gordon Douglas.  Stars Jim Brown, Ed McMahon, Don Stroud, Brock Peters.  Big Jim returns to AIP as ex-Green Beret and fulltime badass Slaughter, the target of revenge by the mobsters he wiped out in the original film.  This time, Slaughter is just as pissed as they are after they interrupt a sedate picnic with a machine gun-firing biplane.  Local cop Reynolds (Peters) warns Slaughter to get out of town, but this would be a helluva short movie if he did, so he packs plenty of ammo in his customized automatic weapons case and hunts the bad guys one by one.  On the side--and to stay out of the slammer--Slaughter agrees to steal a list of policemen on the take from the safe of the Mob's Number One Dude, Duncan, played by none other than TONIGHT SHOW sidekick Ed McMahon!  Even creepier than the sight of McMahon in Elton John sunglasses, polyester shirts adorned with Mickey Mouse and long hair are scenes of Ed making out with much younger women (and one in which we listen to him having sex...Ewwwwww!).  Opposing Slaughter is Duncan's cocky assassin Kirk (Stroud), who, just like in SPECTRE, attained his top position by strangling his predecessor with an inner tube.
 
It's a Jim Brown movie, so you know what you're in for--Jim acting all cool, mouthing tons of macho dialogue ("Stay cool, baby.  You'll get yours," to one of the many chicks begging to be sexed up by Slaughter) and beating the crap out of just about everyone.  Under the fast-paced direction of old-timer Douglas (who was almost 70 at the time), SLAUGHTER'S BIG RIP-OFF is everything but for anyone looking for two-fisted blaxploitation thrills.  It isn't quite as good as the original SLAUGHTER, which had a grittier director, Jack Starrett, and an even better supporting cast (Stella Stevens, Rip Torn, Don Gordon, Bruce Glover), but I doubt you'll complain.  Also with Gloria Hendry (just about every woman in the cast does a nude scene), Judy Brown, Dick Anthony Williams, Art Metrano, Hoke Howell, George Gaynes, Valda Hansen, Scatman Crothers and an unbilled Adam Roarke.  James Brown provided the music, which was missing from the videocassette release, but has been restored for MGM Home Video's DVD.  Writer Charles Johnson also penned several Fred Williamson movies.  From the director of ROBIN AND THE SEVEN HOODS.
 
SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY (1987)--Directed by Ken Dixon.  Stars Elizabeth Kaitan, Cindy Beal, Don Scribner, Brinke Stevens.  How any filmmaker could make a dull film from this concept is beyond me:  three hot and frequently naked women are the targets in a low-budget ripoff of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.  You would think all you would have to do to make this movie entertaining is to peel off the girls' clothes and set them loose in the jungle.  But, noooooo.  Dixon manages to bore the pants off his audience (if they weren't off already at the thought of a nude Elizabeth Kaitan, but that might be too much information...).
 
A pair of space sluts with big '80s hairdos, played by scream queen Kaitan and Beal, escape from a prison ship in a stolen spaceship and crash it on a nearby planet where macho Zed (Scribner) appears to be the only inhabitant.  Along with sexy Shela (Stevens), the girls are set free amid Zed's private jungle, where he stalks them with a laser-firing crossbow.  Unfortunately, writer/producer/director Dixon has saddled his performers with tons and tons of very awkward dialogue, made worse by the fact that none of them can act.  This cast isn't even at the same level as an Empire or New World film from the same era.  While all three female leads pop their tops at least once (and Brinke especially has a very fine body), Dixon seems more interested in their monologues than their mammaries, which makes for a very boring film.  Believe me, not even these women, dressed as they are in bikinis for the whole 80-minute running time, are worth the effort it'll take to stay awake.
 
SLAVE OF THE CANNIBAL GOD (1977)--Directed by Sergio Martino. Stars Stacy Keach, Ursula Andress, Helmut Berger. Awful Italian jungle adventure set in New Guinea. Adventurer Keach and sexy Andress go off into the jungle to find her missing husband. They find him dead and serving as the cannibal natives' god. Two scenes to look for: the most unconvincing decapitation scene of all-time, and Ursula naked and painted white by the natives.
 
SLEDGE HAMMER!: SEASON ONE (1986-1987).  Stars David Rasche, Anne-Marie Martin, Harrison Page.  Television comedy was looking pretty grim during the mid-1980s.  Sure, there were CHEERS and THE COSBY SHOW, but for every gold nugget in the sitcom pan, there were four or five rotten chunks of pyrite--tripe like WHO'S THE BOSS?, MR. BELVEDERE, WEBSTER and LIFE WITH LUCY.  Not surprisingly, those shows were all on ABC, which was the last-place network during the 1986-87 season.  Perhaps desperation is what led the network to try something unusual and against the grain as far as situation comedies are concerned, which are usually shot using three cameras in a living room and feature loving family members hurling banal sex jokes at one another.  To say SLEDGE HAMMER! was a step apart from typical network fare is to understate enormously its place in TV history.
 
SLEDGE HAMMER! was created by a young comedy writer named Alan Spencer, who had bounced around the entertainment industry since his teens, befriending legends like Marty Feldman (YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN) and Andy Kaufman (TAXI) and writing gags for game shows and sitcoms.  It was a spoof of TV cop shows and Clint Eastwood movies that was reminiscent of Mel Brooks movies and the acclaimed Leslie Nielsen series POLICE SQUAD! (note the use of the exclamation point in both titles), a six-episodes-and-outta-there ABC show that eventually spun off three profitable big-screen sequels.  The show SLEDGE HAMMER! was most frequently compared to, however, was GET SMART! (there's that punctuation again...), which starred Don Adams as a bumbling secret agent who was partnered with a smart and sexy female partner (Agent 99, portrayed by the sleek Barbara Feldon).  The major difference between the two shows was SLEDGE's title character, who may have been a menace who exasperated his partner and his boss, but he was not incompetent.  Just a tad, um, unorthodox in his approach to law enforcement.
 
Sledge Hammer (Rasche) is an insolent, misogynist, impatient and violent big-city police detective who believes the only method of fighting crime is with as much firepower as possible.  There's no problem that can't be solved with his trusty .44 Magnum, the only object Sledge feels comfortable with.  Heck, he even talks to it and sleeps with it, right next to him on a shiny satin pillow.  The ying to Hammer's yang is the delectable Dori Doreau (Martin), his sweet crime-solving partner who prefers to talk her way out of a tense situation, but can still provide a mean karate kick if forced to.  Their boss is the apoplectic Captain Trunk (Page), who spends most of his time devising plans to remove Hammer from his precinct--imprisonment or death being reasonable methods!
 
Part of SLEDGE HAMMER!'s brilliance was Spencer's insistence upon keeping some semblance of verisimilitude in each episode, providing Hammer and Doreau with plots that could have been taken straight out of HUNTER, complete with gun battles and dead bodies that gave advertisers and network executives who weren't used to seeing exploding buildings on THE FACTS OF LIFE something of a start.  Having a structured storyline allowed the writers and performers more freedom to think outside the box during the production process, giving the viewers something familiar they could hold onto while laughing at the puns, slapstick, inside jokes and takeoffs of popular films like WITNESS and DOG DAY AFTERNOON.  Led by Mike Reiss and Al Jean, who later wrote for THE SIMPSONS, SLEDGE HAMMER! offered scripts that remain to this day ahead of their time, presenting a blockheaded fascist as the hero and steering him through a series of catchphrase parodies ("Trust me, I know what I'm doing."), sight gags and topical references that forced the audience to pay attention to what they were watching.  SLEDGE HAMMER! is not to be watched while folding laundry or balancing the checkbook.
 
The responsibility for keeping Sledge likable fell upon David Rasche, a Second City graduate and soap opera veteran who latched onto the role like Hammer grasping his gun.  Handsome in a cartoony way and adept at the physical aspects of the role, whether performing incognito as an Elvis impersonator, wrestling with a bowling ball or engaging in macho stunts like brawls and chases, Rasche, who was Spencer's first and only choice, plays Sledge with daring confidence, oozing lunkheaded bravado.  Martin, who was billed as Eddie Benton earlier in her career in films like THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME, is a perfect foil for Rasche's mock intensity, playing Doreau as softly or as forcefully as the teleplays dictated and, like Barbara Feldon on GET SMART!, reassuring the audience that, despite his obvious problems, Sledge must be an okay guy if Dori likes him.  Page was in many ways the show's secret weapon, brandishing his voice like a hot iron, garnering many laughs with a tongue-lashing of Sledge or just a slow burn.
 
SLEDGE HAMMER! was directed by a combination of young filmmakers getting their start, like the Emmy-winning Thomas Schlamme (THE WEST WING), and veterans like Martha Coolidge (VALLEY GIRL), who directed the pilot episode that convinced ABC to buy the series, Bruce Bilson, who worked on GET SMART!, and Jackie Cooper, a Spencer favorite who helmed many of the first season's best shows, including the anything-goes season finale, which provided television history with one of its all-time most audacious cliffhangers (Spencer was convinced the low-rated series would never be picked up for a second season, and was forced to scramble for a conclusion to kick off Season Two).  Guest stars during the first year include Tige Andrews (THE MOD SQUAD), Mary Woronov (EATING RAOUL), Ronnie Schell (GOMER PYLE, USMC), Don Stark (THAT '70s SHOW), Mark Blankfield (FRIDAYS), Martine Beswick (FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE), Peter Marshall (HOLLYWOOD SQUARES), Anthony James (IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT), Brenda Strong (SEINFELD) and Brion James (TANGO & CASH).
 
Anchor Bay Entertainment has done a marvelous job presenting all 22 first-season episodes on DVD in a four-disc set, accompanied by a bevy of explosive extras.  Chief among them are audio commentaries by Spencer on four shows, on which the gabber relates interesting tales of casting, locations, script notes, battles with network censors and anything else he can fit in during the 24-minute running time.  The only thing that can shut Spencer up is an earthquake, which actually occurred while Spencer was recording the commentary for the Season One finale and is very audible on the soundtrack.  Hearing the quake is especially eerie, considering what's playing in the episode at the same time.  It's certainly one of the most unusual yak tracks I've ever heard!
 
Other extras include SLEDGE HAMMER: GO AHEAD, MAKE ME LAUGH!, a half-hour featurette on the series that offers new on-camera interviews with Spencer, Rasche, Martin (who looks lovely) and Page.  Much of the information is repeated on Spencer's commentaries, but it's still worth a look.  Disc 4 also features the unaired pilot, which had to be shorn of a few minutes to fit into a half-hour timeslot and guest-stars cop-show favorite John Vernon (DIRTY HARRY), several on-air promos, the electronic press kit that offers interview clips of Rasche and Spencer, a still gallery, a bumper that lasts about eight seconds and is fun for completist's sake and even more.  Kudos to the packaging, which is shaped like a small book with each disc firmly contained on individual plastic "pages" and accompanied by cute liner notes in the form of a manila folder and policeman's notebook.  ABE has also kindly removed the obtrusive laugh track from the episodes, which were added to the original network run by ABC against Spencer's wishes.
 
If you're like me and you're bored with the coffeehouse shenanigans that pass for TV situation comedy today, I recommend that you give SLEDGE HAMMER! a spin.  Trust me.  I know what I'm doing.
 
SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983)--Directed by Robert Hiltzig.  Stars Mike Kellin, Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten, Christopher Collet, Karen Fields, Katherine Kamhi.  Although not overly explicit in the gore and nudity departments, this slasher flick with a cast of unknowns is one of the kinkiest and most disturbing of the genre and contains by far the most memorable and shocking ending.
 
Eight years after her father and brother were killed in a boating accident, 13-year-old Angela (Rose), now living with her aunt Martha, is sent with her older cousin Ricky (Tiersten) to Camp Arawak, a summer camp run by the fashion-challenged Mel (Kellin, the only familiar face in the cast).  "She's just shy" is the excuse given by Ricky when the counselors and other campers start wondering why Angela just sits around all the time, staring into thin air and refusing to speak a word to anyone.  She has good reason not to, since Arawak is stocked with some of the creepiest counselors and bitchiest campers on the East Coast, including budding sexpot Judy (Fields), who, when she isn't putting Angela down, is putting the make on every boy in camp, and Angela's counselor Meg (Kamhi), who's basically Judy at age 18.  Virtually the only person besides Ricky who's nice to Angela is Ricky's pal Paul (Collet), who quickly develops a crush on her and helps bring her out of her shell...but not too far.  Meanwhile, several horrific deaths begin to plague the camp.  At first, they appear to be accidents, but by the time one camper is locked inside a toilet stall with a nestful of buzzing bees, the word is out that there's a killer on the loose.
 
To say much more about SLEEPAWAY CAMP's story would be to give everything away.  Shooting at the actual camp where he spent many a summer himself, writer/executive producer/director Hiltzig manages to create one of the slasher genre's strangest entries and a movie that certainly could not be attempted in today's "safe" atmosphere.  Most of the feeling of unease the film inflicts upon its audience is due to its very young cast.  We're used to seeing cheap horror movies where the kids curse, act like jerks, get naked and have sex, and are brutalized in a myriad of creative ways, but they're usually 18-year-olds played by 24-year-old actors.  Here, the victims are 14 and they look 14.  Kids are punched, battered and murdered in some pretty crude ways (the "curling iron" scene may be the most infamous).  Not only is there a shockingly high quotient of violence inflicted upon children, but also they're highly sexualized.  Judy, for instance, is definitely the camp "hottie", always slutted up in a variety of tight shirts and bikinis, but in a character (and actress) so young, her sexuality is more discomforting than titillating.  Adding to the squirmy atmosphere is a rampant homosexual context, ranging from dressing most of the actors in tight shorts and half-shirts to the kinky backgrounds of some of the characters.  While many slasher films use sex only to tease the audience with a flash of breast to signal an impending murder, SLEEPAWAY CAMP is unusual in that sex is a motivator for everything that happens, right down to the disturbing final image, which is probably the impetus for whatever cult this movie has (and it does have one, as www.sleepawaycampmovies.com will plainly show).
 
Do not infer that I'm making SLEEPAWAY CAMP out to be better than it is.  As far as contemporary horror films are concerned, it stands back a bit from such trendsetters as HALLOWEEN and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.  However, it is both more ambitious and more disquieting in tone than most of its brethren, and that, coupled with a climax you'll never forget (which is a cliché, but completely true in this case), makes SLEEPAWAY CAMP one to seek out.  None of the performances are anything great, although Tiersten is properly feisty, Rose manages to score points with her big brown eyes, and Kellin uses his marvelously rubber features to good advantage.  Ed French (BREEDERS) provided the damp makeup effects, which included several gruesome prosthetics.  Also with Paul DeAngelo, John Dunn, Robert Earl Jones, Owen Hughes as a pedophile chef and Desiree Gould as Aunt Martha.  Edward Bilous composed the effective score.  Two sequels were made without the participation of Hiltzik, who sold his rights to the series to producer Jerry Silva.  Both starred Pamela Springsteen (Bruce's sister), but Hiltzik and Rose have discussed a proposed RETURN TO SLEEPAWAY CAMP, which would bring back Angela as an adult.  SLEEPAWAY CAMP was released by United Film Distribution, which had a bit of success with DAWN OF THE DEAD and KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE.  Kellin developed cancer shortly after completing shooting and died before SLEEPAWAY CAMP, his final film, was released in the fall of 1983.
 
SLEEPERS WEST (1941)—Directed by Eugene Forde.  Stars Lloyd Nolan, Lynn Bari, Mary Beth Hughes.  Nolan’s second turn as Brett Halliday’s literary detective Michael Shayne is a remake of 1931’s SLEEPERS EAST and bears a strong resemblance to the later THE NARROW MARGIN.  Shayne boards a Denver-to-San-Francisco train with an incognito Helen Carlson (Hughes), who’s scheduled to testify in the trial of a hood named Carruthers.  The irony is that Carruthers is innocent and Carlson can prove it.  However, her testimony will also taint the reputation of a powerful man running for governor, who slips men onto the train to stop her.  Nolan and Bari as his old flame throw some sparks, but otherwise SLEEPERS WEST does a lot of running in place.  Forde’s pacing slacks and there’s nary a sense of danger, as Shayne appears to have everything under control at all times, even when he’s staring down a gun barrel.  Nolan is good in the role, though, and later Fox entries would improve.  Also with Mantan Moreland, Louis Jean Heydt, Ben Carter, James Flavin and Edward Brophy.

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY (1991)--Directed by Joseph Ruben. Stars Julia Roberts, Patrick Bergin, Kevin Anderson. This made money thanks to the presence of PRETTY WOMAN Julia Roberts, but it's really just another psycho stalker story with drippy leads. Roberts, tired of being terrorized by violent hubby Bergin, fakes her own death and moves to suburban Iowa, where she falls for her sensitive neighbor (Anderson). Unfortunately, Roberts did such a poor job of changing her identity that Bergin tracks her down in no time, and starts knocking off everyone close to her. Probably the only horror movie containing a completely irrelevant romantic musical montage sequence (Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" is used). Music by Jerry Goldsmith. From the director of THE GOOD SON.

SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999)--Directed by Tim Burton. Stars Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Richard Griffiths, Casper Van Dien, Christopher Lee, Ian McDiarmid, Jeffrey Jones, Michael Gough. Set at the dawn of a new millennium (sic) in 1799, Tim Burtons' sumptuous retelling of Washington Irving's classic short story is at heart an old-fashioned murder mystery with a ghoulish twist. Obviously inspired by the Euro-shocker works of Mario Bava, Dario Argento and--especially--England's Hammer Films, Burton's film differs from those pictures in one regard--his own cheeky sense of humor, which often threatens to dilute the bone-chilling horror inherent to a well-told tale of a headless horseman who rides through the night adding a few more craniums to his collection with a strong "whoosh" of his sword.

Depp delivers an amusing performance as Ichabod Crane, who is no longer the scarecrow-thin schoolteacher of Irving's story, but rather a scientifically-minded New York City police detective who is assigned by the stern burgomaster (Hammer legend Lee in a disappointingly brief cameo) to investigate the recent decapitation murders in the quiet upstate village of Sleepy Hollow. There he meets his cast of suspects/victims: richest man in town Baltus Van Tassel (Gambon); his second wife, the Lady Van Tassel (Richardson); his round-faced daughter Katrina (Ricci); the local magistrate (Griffiths); the doctor (McDiarmid); the reverend (Jones); the blind old notary (Gough); and young Brom Van Brunt (Van Dien), who fears Crane may be a rival for Katrina's hand.

SLEEPY HOLLOW boasts one of the year's sharpest casts. Depp, reunited with his EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and ED WOOD director, is enormously likable and vulnerable as Crane (he has said that he modeled his performance after Basil Rathbone and Roddy McDowall); his fop cop (who frequently faints at the sight of blood) faces pressure in attempting to bring scientific methods of investigation--forensics, fingerprinting, etc.--into the 19th century, but manages to come through in the clutch. Gambon, Richardson, Griffiths, McDiarmid and Jones all bring much dignity to their roles, and it's a real joy to see Lee and Gough (who played Alfred in Burton's BATMAN) on the big screen; both are icons of the British horror movement that played such an integral part of Burton's (and our) childhood, and bring a certain weight and credibility to SLEEPY HOLLOW, almost as if it is a carryover from that period. The exceptions are Ricci, who delivers her lines in a torpid manner and never shows much chemistry with Depp, and Van Dien, who has never been more than a mannequin in his previous movies either.

This is probably the best-looking movie of the year. Burton, production designer Rick Heinrichs and cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki have drenched the screen with Gothic flair, often shooting outdoor scenes on interior sets to give them a fairy-tale look. Sleepy Hollow is a community of doom and despair, a place where the sun never shines and where the leaves fall from the trees, and an appropriate setting for the brutal horror that resides there. Burton has never been a master of directing action scenes, but teamed with Chris Lebenzon's editing skills and Danny Elfman's lush score (reminiscent of James Bernard's classic Hammer music), the Horseman scenes have a driving intensity that his BATMAN movies, for example, did not.

Also with Lisa Marie, Marc Pickering, Christopher Walken and a silent cameo by Martin Landau. Kevin Yagher, who handled the special makeup effects, penned the story with Andrew Kevin Walker (SEVEN), and was set as the original helmer, but was forced to bow out of the director's chair when Burton became interested in the project. Tom Stoppard did an uncredited rewrite of Walker's screenplay. Francis Ford Coppola is credited as an executive producer, although Burton has reportedly proclaimed that he had nothing to do with the picture.

SLIDERS (1995)--Directed by Andy Tennant. Stars Jerry O'Connell, Sabrina Lloyd, Cleavant Derricks, John Rhys-Davies. Pretty fun feature-length pilot for a Fox series that almost immediately slid downhill. O'Connell (looking pretty buff compared to his role as Vern in STAND BY ME) is a high-school genius who invents a gadget that will allow him to travel to an infinite number of alternate Earths in other dimensions. He becomes trapped with cute girlfriend Lloyd, pompous science professor Rhys-Davies and former soul singer Derricks on another world in which the Russians have conquered the United States and Elvis Presley is still alive.

Despite its television trappings and obvious Vancouver locations (the show was set in San Francisco), this is a pretty fun adventure with a likable cast. Unfortunately Fox ruined the show by insisting on insipid high-concept scripts (that were more often than not ripoffs of recent hit movies), more action and more sex, which prompted an unhappy Rhys-Davis to quit in the third season (he was replaced by the cleavage-baring Kari Wuhrer). Teleplay by series executive producer Tracy Torme. John Landis and Robert K. Weiss served as producers.

A SLIGHT CASE OF MURDER (1999)--Directed by Steven Schachter. Stars William H. Macy, Adam Arkin, Felicity Huffman, James Cromwell, Julia Campbell. Actor Macy and director Schachter collaborated on the amusing teleplay, which is based upon Donald E. Westlake's novel A TRAVESTY. Macy plays Terry Thorpe, a well-known Manhattan film critic who has accidentally killed his mistress during an argument in her apartment. Fearing scandal, he removes all vestiges of his presence and splits, not knowing he's being spied upon by an unprincipled private eye (Cromwell), who blackmails Macy. Macy robs a bank to get the $35,000 needed for Cromwell, but eventually gets it back when he realizes he threatens to frame Cromwell for the crime. Macy ingratiates himself with the lead detective (Arkin) investigating the case--and with Arkin's nympho wife (Campbell)--but finds himself way over his head when the bodies and suspicions begin piling up. About on the same level as a typical COLUMBO episode, A SLIGHT CASE OF MURDER is a trifle, but an entertaining one, thanks to a fun performance by Macy (who often narrates directly to the camera) and a script that doesn't take itself too seriously. Huffman (Macy's real-life wife) has basically a cameo as Macy's girlfriend. Also with James Pickens Jr. and Paul Mazursky, who has fun in a bit as a hack director.

 
SLING BLADE (1996)--Directed by Billy Bob Thornton. Stars Billy Bob Thornton, Dwight Yoakum, John Ritter. Thornton won an Academy Award for his screenplay in this astonishing tale of a Southern retarded man released from an institution after serving 20 years for killing his mother and her lover as a youth (the title refers to the weapon used). With nowhere to go, Karl (Thornton) befriends a young boy, and moves into the garage behind the house the boy shares with his kindly mother and her abusive boyfriend (a strong performance by country singer Yoakum). This character study is rather long and grim with a number of protracted scenes--many filmed as one take--but it never gets boring. Terrific acting all around (you may be surprised at Ritter's work as a gay convenience store owner) made this a Best Picture Oscar nominee. Also with J.T. Walsh and James Hampton.
 
SLITHER (2006)—Directed by James Gunn.  Stars Nathan Fillion, Gregg Henry, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker.  Who woulda thought the writer of SCOOBY-DOO and Troma’s TROMEO & JULIET had this fun (and funny) monster movie stuck inside of him.  Directing for the first time, Gunn creates an amiable mishmash of elements from favorite horror films like THE BLOB, FROM DUSK TILL DAWN and FROM BEYOND, resulting in a comic monster mash frequently compared to TREMORS (which is directly referenced in this movie).  A meteorite crashes in the woods near a small American town and infects one of the leading citizens, Grant Grant (Rooker), with a parasite that transforms him into a hideous meat-craving squid monster.  The squishy new Grant spawns thousands of slugs that invade the town and transform the citizens into cannibalistic zombies that all share Grant’s memories.  Virtually the only ones left to fight the invasion are laconic police chief Fillion (the starship captain on FIREFLY), Grant’s wife Banks and profane mayor Henry.  Lots of glob and goo are tossed about in this R-rated flick in which the scary stuff is tempered with laughs.  Fillion is fun as the ostensible straight man among the eccentric townsfolk, but Henry steals the film with his wild profanity-fueled bits, particularly a bit about not having any Mr. Pibb to drink.  THE OFFICE’s Jenna Fischer, the wife of writer/director Gunn, also appears, as does Tania Saulnier, Brenda James and Don Thompson.  Troma president Lloyd Kaufman’s bit as “Sad Drunk” was left on the cutting room floor.  Appealing score by Tyler Bates.
 
SLITHIS (1978)—Directed by Stephen Traxler.  Stars Alan Blanchard, Mello Alexandria, Hy Pyke.  This independent monster movie has such good intentions and occasional spurts of conviction that I tried very hard to like it.  Unfortunately, its turgid pace dooms it.  The creature attacks are kinda cool, but they don’t happen often enough, as Traxler instead provides us with too much exposition and too much of amateur monster-hunter Blanchard tracking after clues.  The story is simple enough—a two-legged sea monster is wandering around Venice, California slaughtering people.  The monster suit is decent, and the boat-set climax isn’t bad.  Some of SLITHIS is just downright weird though, including Trexler’s inexplicable decision to open the movie with a fat kid playing Frisbee in slow motion.  Pyke as the disbelieving police chief performs what may be the worst acting performance I’ve ever seen in a horror movie, ranting, rolling his eyes, and playing all his scenes like he’s in an off-Broadway farce.  Once seen, you’ll never forget him, which may have been Pyke’s aim.  Onscreen title:  SPAWN OF THE SLITHIS.

SLIVER (1993)--Directed by Philip Noyce. Stars Sharon Stone, Tom Berenger, William Baldwin. This alleged erotic thriller was Stone's follow-up to BASIC INSTINCT and casts her again as an icy blond sex object. She lives in an expensive Manhattan high-rise, and becomes involved with the rugged nice-guy writer next door (Berenger) and the creepy, voyeuristic landlord (Baldwin). Murders ensue. This movie was plagued by rewrites and reshoots; some crew members were killed shooting a second-unit sequence in Hawaii that was never used in the final cut, and the killer's identity was changed in post-production so that many of the clues and red herrings don't make much sense. It's the product of another bad Joe Eszterhas script, this one based upon an Ira Levin novel. Cast includes Martin Landau, Colleen Camp, Keene Curtis, Nina Foch, CCH Pounder, Nicholas Pryor and Shannon Whirry. Produced by Robert Evans. Cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond. Music by Howard Shore.

THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982)—Directed by Amy Jones.  Stars Robin Stille, Michele Michaels, Debra Deliso, Andree Honore, Gina Mari, Jennifer Meyers, Michael Villella.  Roger Corman’s biggest attempt to break into the lucrative slasher genre was this tame entry, which is most notable for having a female director (Jones went on to make LOVE LETTERS with Jamie Lee Curtis) and a female screenwriter (noted feminist novelist Rita Mae Brown).  I suspect Brown’s script was greatly rewritten and she had little to do with the final release, which is not very distinguishable from slashers made by male filmmakers except that it’s not very bloody or exciting.  A bunch of high school girls and some guys who want to lay them are stalked one evening by a madman (Villella) who just escaped from a mental institution.  Jones works a bit of suspense at the end, but, even by New World standards, this is not very good, even if it did spawn a few sequels, spinoffs and loose remakes.  What captured my thought, however, was that this movie and its sequels (which came after the genre had waned) are th