THE SIXTH SENSE (1999)--Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Stars Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Olivia Williams, Toni Collette. Excellent lead performances and some creepy atmosphere propel this supernatural ghost story. Willis plays a child psychologist named Malcolm Crowe, who, as the movie opens, is home with his wife Anna (Williams) celebrating an award from the mayor in appreciation of his shrink skills. The revelry comes to an abrupt halt however, when a former patient of Malcolm's named Vincent breaks into their home, shoots Malcolm in the stomach and kills himself. Months later, after what we assume is a period of convalescence, Malcolm has become very insecure in his ability to heal, blaming himself for Vincent's suicide. His road to salvation is a young boy whom he begins treating named Cole Sear (Osment), a paranoid loner whose mother becomes worried by the emotional and physical scars Cole carries. Malcolm begins to realize that Cole has the ability to see dead spirits walking the streets all around us. More than that, he can actually communicate with them, and they aren't always friendly.

To say more would ruin the scenario concocted by writer/director Shyamalan, whose characters, mood and often alarming scenes culminate in a shocking twist ending I didn't see coming at all, but in retrospect is really the only climax this story could possess. Willis, one of Hollywood's most interesting actors when he puts his mind to it (which isn't often enough for my tastes) and one of the few willing to take chances with an unconventional storyline, delivers one of his finest performances, frequently touching as he comes to terms with his own perceived inability as a healer and a foundering marriage. The standout performance, however, is Osment's; best known as the young Tom Hanks in FORREST GUMP, Osment goes toe to toe with Willis every step of the way. He definitely isn't a typical child actor who mainly looks and acts cute while reacting to the more experienced adults around him. This is a genuine full-fledged acting job, and there are two scenes in particular--one with Willis in a hospital and another with his mother (Collette) in a car--that are astonishing in the way Osment is able to express frustration and fear. Williams and Collette are solid, James Newton Howard's score is overly mawkish but serviceable, and frequent Jonathan Demme cinematographer Tak Fujimoto adds immeasurably to the scare factor with his odd camera angles and striking use of color (that red balloon...). Also with Donnie Wahlberg, Glenn Fitzgerald, Mischa Barton, Bruce Norris and director Shyamalan as a doctor.

SLAP SHOT (1977)--Directed by George Roy Hill. Stars Paul Newman, Michael Ontkean, Strother Martin, Lindsay Crouse. Rowdy, foul-mouthed comedy about a rotten minor-league hockey team that becomes a winner when it adopts a dirty style of play is one of the best sports-oriented movies ever made. The Charlestown (NY) Chiefs, led by burned-out player/coach Newman, are on the verge of being folded. Attendance is low, morale even lower, and even penny-pinching general manager Martin is shopping around for a new job. Newman concocts a scheme to save the team by convincing his players to abandon its old-time style ("Like Eddie Shore!") in favor of a show-bizzy swatfest approach (eerily prescient of today's pro wrestling).

Was controversial at the time of its initial release because of the vulgar locker-room language; ironically, the film was scripted by a woman, Nancy Dowd, whose brother was a professional hockey player. Bawdy humor isn't for all tastes, but it is very funny and violent. The Hanson brothers, three near-sighted goons hired for their ability to wreak physical havoc upon opposing players (and officials...and fans), practically steal the show. Ontkean (TWIN PEAKS) has a nice role as a sensitive player who eschews Newman's raucous approach, while Crouse is fine as his lonely wife. Also with Jennifer Warren, Jerry Houser, M. Emmet Walsh, Brad Sullivan, Yvon Barrette, Stephen Mendillo, Brad Sullivan, Melinda Dillon, Kathryn Walker, Swoozie Kurtz, Paul Dooley, Andrew Duncan and Jeff Carlson, Steve Carlson and David Hanson as the Hanson brothers. From the director of THE STING.

SLAUGHTER (1972)--Directed by Jack Starrett. Stars Jim Brown, Stella Stevens, Rip Torn, Don Gordon, Cameron Mitchell. Hard-hitting blaxploitation from American-International Pictures stars former Cleveland Brown running back Brown as former Green Beret Slaughter. He tracks down his parents' killers, then heads to Mexico to dispatch bigoted mobster Torn. Lots of shootouts, chases, explosions and flying fists, and an excellent nude scene by Stevens. Brown made his film debut in 1964's RIO CONCHOS, but this was his first solo starring assignment. Filmed in Mexico City. Mitchell has only two scenes. Also with Marlene Clark and Robert Phillips. From the director of RACE WITH THE DEVIL. Theme written and performed by Billy Preston. SLAUGHTER'S BIG RIP-OFF was the sequel.

SLAUGHTER HIGH (1987)--Directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra & Peter Litten. Stars Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Sally Cross, Kelly Baker. Wimpy high-school student Scuddamore is accidentally scarred in a prank pulled by cruel classmates. When his class reunites at their old, now abandoned, school ten years later, Scuddamore kills them off one by one. One woman takes a bath and is burnt to a crisp when Scuddamore substitutes acid for water! Typically dumb slasher film starring British cult actress Munro. Music by Harry Manfredini. Claimed to be "From the Makers of FRIDAY THE 13TH", but that was bogus (although Manfredini did score both).

SLAUGHTER OF THE INNOCENTS (1993)--Directed by James Glickenhaus. Stars Scott Glenn, Jesse Cameron-Glickenhaus, Darlanne Fluegel. Pretty good police procedural that bypassed theaters and went straight to HBO. Glenn is an FBI agent with a highly intelligent young son (played by the director's son) who investigates a psychotic religious freak who is kidnapping and molesting little kids. He stores their remains in his Utah cave hideout, which contains an ark! Pretty grim stuff, with a good performance by Glenn. Cameron-Glickenhaus is not obnoxious the way many kid actors are, which is good since he gets a lot of screen time. Also with Zake Moakes, Zitto Kazann and Sheila Tousey. Filmed in Cleveland and Utah.

SLAUGHTER'S BIG RIP-OFF (1973)--Directed by Gordon Douglas.  Stars Jim Brown, Ed McMahon, Don Stroud, Brock Peters.  Big Jim returns to AIP as ex-Green Beret and fulltime badass Slaughter, the target of revenge by the mobsters he wiped out in the original film.  This time, Slaughter is just as pissed as they are after they interrupt a sedate picnic with a machine gun-firing biplane.  Local cop Reynolds (Peters) warns Slaughter to get out of town, but this would be a helluva short movie if he did, so he packs plenty of ammo in his customized automatic weapons case and hunts the bad guys one by one.  On the side--and to stay out of the slammer--Slaughter agrees to steal a list of policemen on the take from the safe of the Mob's Number One Dude, Duncan, played by none other than TONIGHT SHOW sidekick Ed McMahon!  Even creepier than the sight of McMahon in Elton John sunglasses, polyester shirts adorned with Mickey Mouse and long hair are scenes of Ed making out with much younger women (and one in which we listen to him having sex...Ewwwwww!).  Opposing Slaughter is Duncan's cocky assassin Kirk (Stroud), who, just like in SPECTRE, attained his top position by strangling his predecessor with an inner tube.

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY (1991)--Directed by Joseph Ruben. Stars Julia Roberts, Patrick Bergin, Kevin Anderson. This made money thanks to the presence of PRETTY WOMAN Julia Roberts, but it's really just another psycho stalker story with drippy leads. Roberts, tired of being terrorized by violent hubby Bergin, fakes her own death and moves to suburban Iowa, where she falls for her sensitive neighbor (Anderson). Unfortunately, Roberts did such a poor job of changing her identity that Bergin tracks her down in no time, and starts knocking off everyone close to her. Probably the only horror movie containing a completely irrelevant romantic musical montage sequence (Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" is used). Music by Jerry Goldsmith. From the director of THE GOOD SON.

SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999)--Directed by Tim Burton. Stars Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon, Richard Griffiths, Casper Van Dien, Christopher Lee, Ian McDiarmid, Jeffrey Jones, Michael Gough. Set at the dawn of a new millennium (sic) in 1799, Tim Burtons' sumptuous retelling of Washington Irving's classic short story is at heart an old-fashioned murder mystery with a ghoulish twist. Obviously inspired by the Euro-shocker works of Mario Bava, Dario Argento and--especially--England's Hammer Films, Burton's film differs from those pictures in one regard--his own cheeky sense of humor, which often threatens to dilute the bone-chilling horror inherent to a well-told tale of a headless horseman who rides through the night adding a few more craniums to his collection with a strong "whoosh" of his sword.

Depp delivers an amusing performance as Ichabod Crane, who is no longer the scarecrow-thin schoolteacher of Irving's story, but rather a scientifically-minded New York City police detective who is assigned by the stern burgomaster (Hammer legend Lee in a disappointingly brief cameo) to investigate the recent decapitation murders in the quiet upstate village of Sleepy Hollow. There he meets his cast of suspects/victims: richest man in town Baltus Van Tassel (Gambon); his second wife, the Lady Van Tassel (Richardson); his round-faced daughter Katrina (Ricci); the local magistrate (Griffiths); the doctor (McDiarmid); the reverend (Jones); the blind old notary (Gough); and young Brom Van Brunt (Van Dien), who fears Crane may be a rival for Katrina's hand.

SLEEPY HOLLOW boasts one of the year's sharpest casts. Depp, reunited with his EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and ED WOOD director, is enormously likable and vulnerable as Crane (he has said that he modeled his performance after Basil Rathbone and Roddy McDowall); his fop cop (who frequently faints at the sight of blood) faces pressure in attempting to bring scientific methods of investigation--forensics, fingerprinting, etc.--into the 19th century, but manages to come through in the clutch. Gambon, Richardson, Griffiths, McDiarmid and Jones all bring much dignity to their roles, and it's a real joy to see Lee and Gough (who played Alfred in Burton's BATMAN) on the big screen; both are icons of the British horror movement that played such an integral part of Burton's (and our) childhood, and bring a certain weight and credibility to SLEEPY HOLLOW, almost as if it is a carryover from that period. The exceptions are Ricci, who delivers her lines in a torpid manner and never shows much chemistry with Depp, and Van Dien, who has never been more than a mannequin in his previous movies either.

This is probably the best-looking movie of the year. Burton, production designer Rick Heinrichs and cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki have drenched the screen with Gothic flair, often shooting outdoor scenes on interior sets to give them a fairy-tale look. Sleepy Hollow is a community of doom and despair, a place where the sun never shines and where the leaves fall from the trees, and an appropriate setting for the brutal horror that resides there. Burton has never been a master of directing action scenes, but teamed with Chris Lebenzon's editing skills and Danny Elfman's lush score (reminiscent of James Bernard's classic Hammer music), the Horseman scenes have a driving intensity that his BATMAN movies, for example, did not.

Also with Lisa Marie, Marc Pickering, Christopher Walken and a silent cameo by Martin Landau. Kevin Yagher, who handled the special makeup effects, penned the story with Andrew Kevin Walker (SEVEN), and was set as the original helmer, but was forced to bow out of the director's chair when Burton became interested in the project. Tom Stoppard did an uncredited rewrite of Walker's screenplay. Francis Ford Coppola is credited as an executive producer, although Burton has reportedly proclaimed that he had nothing to do with the picture.

SLIDERS (1995)--Directed by Andy Tennant. Stars Jerry O'Connell, Sabrina Lloyd, Cleavant Derricks, John Rhys-Davies. Pretty fun feature-length pilot for a Fox series that almost immediately slid downhill. O'Connell (looking pretty buff compared to his role as Vern in STAND BY ME) is a high-school genius who invents a gadget that will allow him to travel to an infinite number of alternate Earths in other dimensions. He becomes trapped with cute girlfriend Lloyd, pompous science professor Rhys-Davies and former soul singer Derricks on another world in which the Russians have conquered the United States and Elvis Presley is still alive.

Despite its television trappings and obvious Vancouver locations (the show was set in San Francisco), this is a pretty fun adventure with a likable cast. Unfortunately Fox ruined the show by insisting on insipid high-concept scripts (that were more often than not ripoffs of recent hit movies), more action and more sex, which prompted an unhappy Rhys-Davis to quit in the third season (he was replaced by the cleavage-baring Kari Wuhrer). Teleplay by series executive producer Tracy Torme. John Landis and Robert K. Weiss served as producers.

A SLIGHT CASE OF MURDER (1999)--Directed by Steven Schachter. Stars William H. Macy, Adam Arkin, Felicity Huffman, James Cromwell, Julia Campbell. Actor Macy and director Schachter collaborated on the amusing teleplay, which is based upon Donald E. Westlake's novel A TRAVESTY. Macy plays Terry Thorpe, a well-known Manhattan film critic who has accidentally killed his mistress during an argument in her apartment. Fearing scandal, he removes all vestiges of his presence and splits, not knowing he's being spied upon by an unprincipled private eye (Cromwell), who blackmails Macy. Macy robs a bank to get the $35,000 needed for Cromwell, but eventually gets it back when he realizes he threatens to frame Cromwell for the crime. Macy ingratiates himself with the lead detective (Arkin) investigating the case--and with Arkin's nympho wife (Campbell)--but finds himself way over his head when the bodies and suspicions begin piling up. About on the same level as a typical COLUMBO episode, A SLIGHT CASE OF MURDER is a trifle, but an entertaining one, thanks to a fun performance by Macy (who often narrates directly to the camera) and a script that doesn't take itself too seriously. Huffman (Macy's real-life wife) has basically a cameo as Macy's girlfriend. Also with James Pickens Jr. and Paul Mazursky, who has fun in a bit as a hack director.

SLING BLADE (1996)--Directed by Billy Bob Thornton. Stars Billy Bob Thornton, Dwight Yoakum, John Ritter. Thornton won an Academy Award for his screenplay in this astonishing tale of a Southern retarded man released from an institution after serving 20 years for killing his mother and her lover as a youth (the title refers to the weapon used). With nowhere to go, Karl (Thornton) befriends a young boy, and moves into the garage behind the house the boy shares with his kindly mother and her abusive boyfriend (a strong performance by country singer Yoakum). This character study is rather long and grim with a number of protracted scenes--many filmed as one take--but it never gets boring. Terrific acting all around (you may be surprised at Ritter's work as a gay convenience store owner) made this a Best Picture Oscar nominee. Also with J.T. Walsh and James Hampton.

SLIVER (1993)--Directed by Philip Noyce. Stars Sharon Stone, Tom Berenger, William Baldwin. This alleged erotic thriller was Stone's follow-up to BASIC INSTINCT and casts her again as an icy blond sex object. She lives in an expensive Manhattan high-rise, and becomes involved with the rugged nice-guy writer next door (Berenger) and the creepy, voyeuristic landlord (Baldwin). Murders ensue. This movie was plagued by rewrites and reshoots; some crew members were killed shooting a second-unit sequence in Hawaii that was never used in the final cut, and the killer's identity was changed in post-production so that many of the clues and red herrings don't make much sense. It's the product of another bad Joe Eszterhas script, this one based upon an Ira Levin novel. Cast includes Martin Landau, Colleen Camp, Keene Curtis, Nina Foch, CCH Pounder, Nicholas Pryor and Shannon Whirry. Produced by Robert Evans. Cinematography by Vilmos Zsigmond. Music by Howard Shore.

THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1982)—Directed by Amy Jones.  Stars Robin Stille, Michele Michaels, Debra Deliso, Andree Honore, Gina Mari, Jennifer Meyers, Michael Villella.  Roger Corman’s biggest attempt to break into the lucrative slasher genre was this tame entry, which is most notable for having a female director (Jones went on to make LOVE LETTERS with Jamie Lee Curtis) and a female screenwriter (noted feminist novelist Rita Mae Brown).  I suspect Brown’s script was greatly rewritten and she had little to do with the final release, which is not very distinguishable from slashers made by male filmmakers except that it’s not very bloody or exciting.  A bunch of high school girls and some guys who want to lay them are stalked one evening by a madman (Villella) who just escaped from a mental institution.  Jones works a bit of suspense at the end, but, even by New World standards, this is not very good, even if it did spawn a few sequels, spinoffs and loose remakes.  What captured my thought, however, was that this movie and its sequels (which came after the genre had waned) are the only slasher flicks Roger Corman ever made.  It seems odd that Corman, who definitely had his finger on the pulse of what was popular and what he could sell, never jumped on the post-FRIDAY THE 13TH slasher-movie bandwagon.  It's possible that he found the concept tasteless, I suppose, but it doesn't seem like a dozen dead teenagers would stop him from making big bucks (and the fact that few slasher movies present material as tasteless as HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP).

SMALL KILL (1992)—Directed by Rob Fresco & Gary Burghoff. Stars Gary Burghoff, Fred Carpenter, Jason Miller. Former M*A*S*H co-star Burghoff demanded that he direct his own scenes for this career-decimating cop flick shot on Long Island. As serial killer Fleck, Radar smokes, sweats, swears, leers, wears drag, deals dope, sports an (intentionally) hilarious toupee, listens to opera, sleeps with a boy prostitute and a large-breasted stripper, and kidnaps kids for ransom. I guess he didn’t trust another director to film his scenes so, uh, tastefully. Bizarrely, Burghoff does double duty as an old female fortune teller named Esmerelda—part of Fleck’s “disguise.” Fresco, who went on to a successful career producing prime-time TV dramas (HEROES), and co-writer Carpenter are responsible for the blood squibs, Carpenter’s ridiculous Serpico-wannabe perf as a cop chasing a drug ring, and the rote police procedural plot. Burghoff doesn’t appear with any actors from the “main” story, as though he and Fresco were making their own separate films from the same screenplay. Scenes are edited to make it look as though Burghoff interacts with Carpenter and Donnie Kehr as Carpenter’s cop partner, but he’s never in the same shot with them. Second-billed Miller (THE EXORCIST) hams it up in a small, superfluous role as an alcoholic informant. Also with Rebecca Ferratti, Chris Cooke, and Mark McKelvey.

SMALL SOLDIERS (1998)--Directed by Joe Dante. Stars Kirsten Dunst, Phil Hartman, Denis Leary, Jay Mohr. This GREMLINS retread is too violent for young children and too tame for adults, so I don't know exactly who the audience for this toys-run-amuck flick is supposed to be. Greedy toymaker Leary orders his staff (which seems to consist of only three people) to create action figures that actually do the things they're depicted as doing on the hyperbolic packaging, so one (Mohr) steals some government microchips to use in the toys' programming. A nice suburban kid whose dad owns a toy store gets an advance order, and finds his neighborhood torn apart as the bad-guy commando dolls (led by Major Chip Hazard, voiced by Tommy Lee Jones) come alive to complete their mission to destroy the good-guy mostly-comic-relief alien figures (led by purple gargoyle Archer, voiced by Frank Langella).

The visual effects and animation (led by Stan Winston) is outstanding, but Dante, whose GREMLINS did a perfect job walking that thin line between black comedy and horror, sells out to the real-life toy companies and fast-food chains in creating a too-cartoony atmosphere for adults (although parents of small children may gasp when the toys start firing high-pressure nail guns at the kids in the movie). Dick Miller (who I think has been in every Dante project) is great as a wisecracking truck driver, and Kevin Dunn, Ann Magnuson, Wendy Schaal and David Cross also appear. There's great fun in identifying the actors providing the dolls voices; DIRTY DOZEN stars Jim Brown, Ernest Borgnine, George Kennedy and Clint Walker team up with Bruce Dern to voice Major Hazard's squad, while THIS IS SPINAL TAPs Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer voice the aliens, and Christian Ricci and Sarah Michelle Gellar do some creepy girl dolls. Hartman has little screen time in his last film appearance. Music by Jerry Goldsmith.

A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS (1976)--Directed by Jack Starrett. Stars Timothy Bottoms, Susan George, Bo Hopkins. Just three years after his starring role in James Bridges's THE PAPER CHASE, Bottoms ended up toplining this draggy revenge picture by American-International. Just released from prison after serving five years on a marijuana beef, Poke Jackson (Bottoms) returns to his sleepy Texas hometown to collect his girl Mary Lee (George) and his son he's never seen and take them away to California for a new start. He's startled to learn that Mary Lee's new beau is crooked sheriff Duke Calley (Hopkins), the cop who busted him. Mary Lee isn't attracted to the cruel Duke, so she doesn't argue much when Poke invites her to California; the problem is that Duke doesn't seem inclined to let her go. More complications ensue when Poke witnesses Duke's participation in a political assassination.

While similar to other AIP films of the period (THUNDER & LIGHTNING, SPECIAL DELIVERY), TEXAS has a slower pace and, thus, doesn't work as well. Its also hampered by a colorless Bottoms--miscast as an action lead--and the wide-eyed George, who never convinces. As always, Hopkins is fun to watch; his particular brand of good ol' boy insouciance comes in handy here, making his second-half rage seem all the more frightening. The film's biggest flaw is its lack of action in the first half. Although Starrett (RACE WITH THE DEVIL) crashes cars as well as any '70s director, the impressive chases and stunts come too late in the picture (my favorite involves a police car sliding sideways off a cliff, spinning, and smashing into the creek below). A nice cast, including an underused Morgan Woodward (MOONSHINE COUNTY EXPRESS), John Karlen (CAGNEY & LACEY), Art Hindle (THE BROOD), Buck Flower and Starrett as a rowdy truck-shooting drunk. Charles Bernstein's score is good. The TEXAS script was by BIG BAD MAMA scribe William W. Norton, whose son Bill was writing exploitation movies like GARGOYLES during the same period.

SMASHING THE MONEY RING (1939)--Directed by Terry Morse.  Stars Ronald Reagan, Eddie Foy Jr., Joe Downing.  In Reagan's third turn as Secret Service operative Brass Bancroft, he burrows undercover in the state pen to trace a counterfeiting ring being fronted by ex-con Dice Matthews (Downing).  Matthews is using an offshore casino to launder his queer money, but he is arrested for attempted murder and sent to the Big House, where the counterfeit bills are manufactured.  Posing as an inmate, Brass ingratiates himself with the Dice in an attempt to learn where the printing plates are being held and who is in charge of the operation.  Too much clowning around by Eddie Foy as Reagan's partner and too little action mar this decent programmer, which admittedly is too short (under an hour) to wear thin.  Solid Warner Brothers production values and steady pacing make it worth a watch.  Also with Margot Stevenson, Charles D. Brown, Joe King and Dick Rich.  John Hamilton, Perry White from THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, plays a prison guard, and George Reeves was reportedly an extra.  MURDER IN THE AIR was the next and last Bancroft picture for Reagan.

While the theatrical box office didn’t live up to the hype, Ellis’ film actually does.  SNAKES ON A PLANE is a very well made B-picture with decent supporting actors, good pacing and plenty of exciting action. What really impressed me is the succinct storytelling in the first half-hour or so as they're setting up the plot. Expository dialogue is dished out in quick, easy-to-follow bites, and we're told everything we need to know in short bursts--not just the plot, but also the (many) characters. Of course, the characters are clichés, but the movie is called SNAKES ON A PLANE. I was surprised I was unable to predict many story points, and the audience chuckled appreciatively at all the right moments.

I don't know how well this movie would have worked without Jackson. He sells it. There are a couple of scenes where he calms down a mob of freaked-out passengers smoothly but firmly that few other actors would be able to pull off. There is a lot of dialogue that would absolutely sound silly coming from the mouths of most actors, but it sounds real when he delivers it. Give Sam a lot of credit for making this film as good as it is.  My only major bone of contention is, if you make a big deal about introducing a character as a kickboxer in a movie called SNAKES ON A PLANE, you had better have a scene where said character kickboxes some muthascratchin' snakes!

Plot finds FBI agent Jackson returning a government witness (Phillips) from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify in a murder case.  The mobster, having expended all other methods of killing, has crates of deadly serpents imported to Hawaii and stashed in the cargo bay of the 747 carrying Jackson and Phillips.  The crates are rigged with a timing device that, when the plane is squarely situated over the Pacific Ocean, sets the snakes loose on a frenzied killing spree.  Margulies (ER) is stalwart as the stewardess making her last flight, and supporting actors David Koechner (ANCHORMAN), Lin Shaye, Bobby Cannavale, Sunny Mabrey, Todd Louiso, Flex Alexander, Kenan Thompson, Elsa Pataky and Rachel Blanchard wisely play straight.  Intended to be released as the generic-sounding PACIFIC AIR 121, but Jackson bore down on New Line and made them accept the original title.

SNAKES ON A TRAIN (2006)—Directed by The Mallachi Brothers.  Stars Julia Ruiz, Alby Castro, Shannon Gayle, Amelia Jackson-Gray.  The Asylum, an independent production company specializing in direct-to-video ripoffs of popular Hollywood fare, beat New Line’s highly touted SNAKES ON A PLANE to release by four weeks.  Can you imagine seeing these DVDs next to each other on the New Release wall?  PLANE is a genuinely good B-pic—witty, fun and fast-paced.  TRAIN is none of those things.  The goofy plot has two illegal aliens crossing the U.S. border to stow away on a passenger train to Los Angeles.  Alma (Ruiz) is afflicted with a curse that causes her to vomit up dozens of snakes, which grow larger and more deadly the closer they get to California.  The cheap sets and small cast budget allow for just a handful of dull characters, including the conductor, a family with a little girl, some gun-waving drug dealers, and a couple of bimbos.  Unlike PLANE, the snakes don’t really start slithering until the final third, by which time you’ll have nodded off to sleep.  The pseudonymous directors must be big HAPPY DAYS fans.

SNAPDRAGON (1993)--Directed by Worth Keeter. Stars Steven Bauer, Chelsea Field, Pamela Anderson. Dull erotic thriller noteworthy only because of Pams frequent nude scenes (which actually aren't frequent enough). She's a buxom blonde amnesiac who may or may not be slitting the throats of men she has sex with. As a police shrink treating Pam, Bauer dreams about having sex with her, and then does have sex with her, which doesn't make his policewoman girlfriend (Field) too happy. It turns out Pam was kidnapped by Chinese gangsters as a little girl, and forced into sex slavery...and has an evil twin! Whatever. Also with Larry Manetti of MAGNUM, P.I.

SNEAKERS (1993)--Directed by Phil Alden Robinson. Stars Robert Redford, Sidney Poitier, Dan Aykroyd, River Phoenix, David Strathairn, Ben Kingsley. The makers of the '96 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE remake should have watched this first to pick up some pointers. Redford stars as the leader of a misfit band of "sneakers": computer experts and thieves who are hired to break into banks and other high-security installations to test their security systems. When two men representing the federal government blackmail Redford into stealing a top-secret decoder device, the sneakers come to his aid in a number of imaginative setpieces. The twists and turns are almost impossible to predict, the script by Walter Parkes and Lawrence Lasker contains plenty of humor, and the cast (especially Redford and Poitier) seem to be having a great time. Also with Mary McDonnell, Stephen Tobolowsky, Timothy Busfield, Eddie Jones and an amusing cameo by James Earl Jones. From the director of FIELD OF DREAMS.

THE SNIPER (1952)--Directed by Edward Dmytryk.  Stars Arthur Franz, Adolphe Menjou, Gerald Mohr, Richard Kiley.  Stanley Kramer produced this interesting crime drama the same year as HIGH NOON.  Franz gives one of his best performances as Eddie Miller, who quite clearly has problems relating to women and takes out his frustrations by shooting them from the rooftops with a high-powered rifle.  Former silent film actor Menjou and Mohr are the detectives leading the investigation, and Kiley, who handles the preachy soliloquies often associated with Kramer, does well in one of his first features. 

Although much of Franz' performance looks campy by today's standards, he really does a nice job expressing Miller's inner torment, needing to kill but knowing that it's wrong.  Menjou may seem like an odd choice to play a cop, but he lends the right paternal weight to the role, although Mohr, a better heavy, seems greasy even when he's a good guy.  Shooting on noirish San Francisco locations was a nice touch, and I really liked how Dmytryk handled the finale, as Miller faces off against a smokestack worker dangling nearly a half-mile away.  Also with Marie Windsor, Frank Faylen, Jay Novello and Cliff Clark.  Edna and Edward Anhalt's screenplay was nominated for an Oscar.

SOL MADRID (1968)--Directed by Brian G. Hutton. Stars David McCallum, Telly Savalas, Stella Stevens. THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.'s Illya Kuryakin tried to capitalize on his TV stardom with this diverting international thriller from the director of WHERE EAGLES DARE. McCallum is a government agent chasing a Mexican drug ring run by Telly. Great cast, good locations and a few interesting action sequences enliven Hutton's sometimes static direction. Also with Ricardo Montalban, Pat Hingle, Rip Torn, Michael Conrad, Perry Lopez and Michael Ansara. Music by Lalo Schifrin. Filmed in Mexico.

SOLAR FORCE (1994)--Directed by Boaz Davidson.  Stars Michael Pare, Billy Drago.  And you thought low-budget filmmakers stopped ripping off MAD MAX in the '80s!  The director of THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN also throws elements of SHANE and THE TERMINATOR into the mix, which was originally penned by the star's brother, but reportedly rewritten heavily by Nu Image producers.  Lunar cop Joe Brody (Pare) is assigned by his superiors on the moon to retrieve the Amaranth, a powerful weapon that was hijacked from the moonbase by savages from the Earth's surface.  The aristocracy on the moon has always described the Earth's inhabitants as ignorant, violent brutes who would use the Amaranth for destructive purposes.  So it comes as a surprise to Brody when he lands in the desert and befriends a peaceful village that grows its own food and wants no trouble from anyone.  Unfortunately, not everyone on Earth feels the same way, as he tangles with a murderous motorcycle gang led by the psychopathic Kay (Drago).  Originally filmed as LUNARCOP, SOLAR FORCE is a steady but ultimately unsatisfying mixture of action and science fiction, although a twist near the end manages to pack a slight emotional punch.  The Namibian landscape provides a bit of eye candy, as does Walker Brandt as Pare's love interest.  Also with Robin Smith, Greg Latter, Gavin Van Der Berg and Wilson Dunster.  Music by the prolific Don Peake, who worked on the KNIGHT RIDER TV series.

THE SOLDIER (1982)—Directed by James Glickenhaus.  Stars Ken Wahl, Alberta Watson.  Stunts and squibs take precedence over characterization and story in this fast-moving, preposterous action movie.  Renegade KGB agents steal some plutonium in the United States, build a nuclear bomb, and hide it in the Saudi Arabian desert.  They threaten to detonate it, which would destroy half of the world’s oil supply for the next 300 years, unless Israel agrees to pull its men off the West Bank.  Israel refuses to do so, so the head of the CIA assigns a special agent (Wahl), known only as “The Soldier,” and his four commandos to team up with a beautiful Mossad agent (Canadian actress Watson, later on 24) to prevent the bomb from exploding.  Playing like a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE episode with Green Berets, THE SOLDIER leaps from location to location, setting off explosions, shooting skiers, and jumping Porsches over the Berlin Wall with wild abandon.  For some reason, Wahl was an in-demand actor during the ‘80s, even though his acting style is basically Tony Danza on ‘ludes, but Glickenhaus (who also wrote and produced) doesn’t leave much time for acting between chase scenes.  THE SOLDIER is silly, slick entertainment.  Also with William Prince, Steve James, Peter Hooten, Ron Harper, Joaquim de Almeida, Zeljko Ivanek, Ned Eisenberg, Jeffrey Jones and Klaus Kinski (for two minutes).  Music by Tangerine Dream.

SOLDIER (1998)--Directed by Paul Anderson.  Stars Kurt Russell, Connie Nielsen.  Why anyone would pay the charismatic Kurt Russell $7 million to play an emotionless automaton with maybe 100 words of dialogue is just one of many questionable decisions made by Warner Brothers and director Anderson (not to be confused with BOOGIE NIGHTS filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson).  Based on one of cinema's thinnest storylines, courtesy of UNFORGIVEN Oscar-winner David Webb Peoples, SOLDIER is about a futuristic fighting machine, Sgt. Todd (Russell), who was reared from birth to be the ultimate unquestioning military weapon, a near-indestructible super-soldier.  When he's deemed obsolete by the new guard of soldiers, Todd is destroyed and dumped on a garbage planet.  Only he isn't dead, just nearly so, and nursed back to health by a group of shipwreck survivors, in particular Sandra (Nielsen), wife of the colony's crippled leader.  What SOLDIER really is about is a series of not-very-exciting shootouts and set-bound action scenes as Todd, who was established at the beginning as being inferior to the new models, wipes out a couple dozen of them pretty easily.  Russell does his best, but his character doesn't allow him to be "Kurt Russell"; this is a role tailor-made for Arnold Schwarzenegger or Olivier Gruner, for that matter.  Also with Jason Scott Lee, Gary Busey, Jason Isaacs and Michael Chiklis.  Music by Joel McNeely.  SOLDIER was a major box-office flop.

A SOLDIER’S STORY (1984)—Directed by Norman Jewison.  Stars Howard E. Rollins Jr., Adolph Caesar, Denzel Washington, Dennis Lipscomb.  Charles Fuller based this engrossing murder mystery on his Pulitzer Prize-winning play.  It surrounds Captain Davenport (Rollins), a black Army investigator who is sent by Washington brass to a mostly black camp in Louisiana to look into the murder of unpopular drill sergeant Waters (Caesar, who was nominated for an Oscar).  Between the white officers who don’t want to stir up any trouble between the camp and the bigoted rednecks of the nearby town and the black soldiers who are hesitant to speak out against Sgt. Waters, Davenport has a tough row to hoe in solving the sergeant’s murder.  A phenomenal cast and Jewison’s assured direction combine to make Fuller’s mystery an absorbing one that was nominated for three Academy Awards, including Best Picture.  Also with Art Evans, David Alan Grier, Robert Townsend, Larry Riley, Wings Hauser, Trey Wilson, Scott Paulin, John Hancock and Patti LaBelle, some of whom also appeared in Fuller’s play.

SOLE SURVIVOR (1983)—Directed by Thom Eberhardt.  Stars Anita Skinner, Kurt Johnson, Caren Larkey, Robin Davidson.  Unusually subtle horror film for its period, which was plagued by lookalike slasher flicks.  Almost everyone involved was making his or her first movie, which shows in its performances.  Though writer/director Eberhardt’s pacing and plot inconsistencies are occasionally annoying, SOLE SURVIVOR is something of a sleeper that anticipates the later FINAL DESTINATION films.  Denise Watson (Skinner) is the lone survivor of a plane crash who begins seeing strange zombie-like figures coming after her and murdering her friends.  Yep, you’ll soon guess that the Grim Reaper hates to make mistakes and sends an army of corpses to rectify his error.  No gore and a tame (but welcome) Brinke Stevens topless scene appear in this very soft R film released by Grand National Pictures originally.  Skinner, who received a Golden Globe nomination for her film debut in GIRLFRIENDS, retired from the film industry shortly after SOLE SURVIVOR, and few of her co-stars were heard from again, particularly co-producer Larkey, whose six months experience as a fledgling theater actress are quite evident.  Eberhardt went on to the acclaimed NIGHT OF THE COMET and the less-so CAPTAIN RON.

SOLO (1996)--Directed by Norberto Barba. Stars Mario Van Peebles, William Sadler, Barry Corbin. This low-budget actioner filmed in Mexico is better than you might think. This TERMINATOR/SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN hybrid casts a shaven-headed Van Peebles as Solo, a cyborg warrior created by the U.S. government as the ultimate soldier. Invulnerable, fast, and expert in an array of weapons and fighting techniques, an army of Solos might be able to rule the world. On a mission in Central America, Solo pulls the plug when he realizes innocent civilians will be hurt in the commandos' attack. Tough soldier Sadler is upset with Solo's cancellation of the attack, and when General Corbin gives the order to deactivate Solo, the cyborg escapes into the jungle. The rest of the film details Sadler's attempt to destroy the robot. Van Peebles does a good job getting you to root for a hero that isn't human, and Sadler, as he showed in DIE HARD 2, is a properly evil villain.

SOME GIRLS DO (1969)--Directed by Ralph Thomas. Stars Richard Johnson, Daliah Lavi, James Villiers. Sequel to DEADLIER THAN THE MALE stars Johnson as British spy Bulldog Drummond battling a megalomaniac out to conquer the world with his army of sexy female robots. Not really enough action here to recommend it strongly, and the budget isn't exactly of Bondian proportions, but it's colorful, zippy and filled with beautiful women in various stages of undress. Johnson does look a helluva lot like Sean Connery, but without the charisma. Also with Sydne Rome, Vanessa Howard and Robert Morley as Miss Mary.

SOME KIND OF HERO (1982)--Directed by Michael Pressman. Stars Richard Pryor, Margot Kidder, Ronny Cox, Ray Sharkey. Pryor returns to America a hero after spending six years in a Vietnamese prisoner-of-war camp. However, his wife has left him, and his small business is bankrupt. He meets hooker Kidder, who leads him into a life of crime. This is supposed to be a comedy, but it really doesn't work as one. Pryor is pretty good, but Pressman (THE BAD NEWS BEARS) probably isn't cut out for this kind of material.