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SCORCHY (1976)--Directed by Hikmet Avedis.
Stars Connie Stevens, Cesare Danova, William Smith, Marlene Schmidt, Normann Burton. '60s sexpot Stevens (HAWAIIAN EYE) was
approaching her fortieth birthday when she played Seattle cop Jackie Parker in this lame crime drama shot on location. After
pursuing a drug operation all the way to Rome, where William Smith--dressed as a priest--blows a courier's brains out and
steals both the dope and money, Jackie returns to Seattle to continue her cover as an independent charter pilot, who dresses
in a dazzling display of frilly--but sadly not revealing--clothes. Jackie has managed to befriend drug kingpin Philip Bianco
(Danova) and his wife Claudia (Schmidt), while making periodic reports to her Narcotics Division boss Frank (Burton).
Avedis,
who also wrote and produced this slow-moving turkey, popped up occasionally during the '70s and '80s with low-budget exploitation
yarns like MORTUARY and DR. MINX, none of which are really much good. SCORCHY suffers from an uneven tone, which bounces from
scenes of extreme violence to Jackie's inappropriate flirtations with seemingly half the Seattle police force, and poorly
defined characters. Editing is also haphazard in that characters often mention they're about to do something, yet the scene
immediately cuts to some other time and place. Surprisingly, Avedis (who was sometimes billed as Howard Avedis) manages to
string together a pair of very long and well-staged action sequences--a chase involving Stevens and Smith which begins on
foot and ends with them riding a dune buggy and motorcycle respectively (and which manages to ripoff the chases in BULLITT
and THE FRENCH CONNECTION) and a drawn-out fight scene between Smith and Danova on a waterfront rooftop.
Stevens must
have taken the role as an attempt to goose her airheaded image. She appears in a couple of nude scenes (both of which were
obviously, disappointingly and abruptly spliced out of the allegedly uncut print I watched on the Flix cable network), and
participates in a bit of gunplay at the end. She is, however, wildly miscast as a tough narc, and, although beautiful, looks
a bit silly in her mod, dated costumes. Stevens later played a parody of Angie Dickinson's POLICE WOMAN character in the made-for-TV
spoof MURDER CAN HURT YOU. Only Smith manages to stand above the thin material and add some weight to his scenes, especially
the ones in which he engages in violence.
Igo Kantor is credited with "Music Supervision", which means he must have
provided the cheesy and often inappropriate library tracks for the soundtrack. The "Mickey-Mousing" effect is often hilarious,
punctuating every pull of a knife or firing of a gun, and the wacka-wacka guitar is used at every available opportunity. Seattle
was a nice idea for a location, since it had not often been seen on camera up to that time. Also with John Davis Chandler,
Joyce Jameson (THE COMEDY OF TERRORS) and Greg Evigan (B.J. AND THE BEAR), who received a special "Introducing" credit. I
have no idea who or what SCORCHY is or means. The word is never used in the film.
THE SCORE (2001)--Directed
by Frank Oz. Stars Robert DeNiro, Edward Norton, Angela Bassett, Marlon Brando. This Paramount thriller was one of the best
and most underhyped hits of the summer. It's nothing outstanding and does nothing to transcend the "caper" genre, but it's
a solid, suspenseful, entertaining thriller with nice work from a talented cast.
Professional thief Nick (DeNiro),
who owns a jazz club in Montreal and prefers to make his scores outside of Canada, is ready to give up his life of crime and
settle down with his airline stewardess girlfriend Diane (Bassett). That is, until the scent of one more caper wafts his way--the
biggest of his career. Teaming up with hotheaded young Turk Jackie (Norton), who has been masquerading as a retarded janitor
in order to case the House of Customs, Nick, prodded by old friend and partner Max (a delightful Brando), tackles the challenge
of boosting a priceless jeweled scepter, which was found hidden inside a piano leg and is now being safeguarded in a basement
safe at the Customs House.
THE SCORE contains probably Brando's best role in ages, and he has several quality scenes
with DeNiro, some of which were clearly improvised. DeNiro also has fine chemistry with Norton, who continues to showcase
a wide range of acting chops. Oz reportedly battled with his actors on this one, but I can't fault his results. Bassett's
character could have been fleshed out more, maybe, but I don't think this movie needed a romantic sidebar anyway. THE SCORE
is the type of movie Paramount does as well as anyone: a solid, glossy, well-directed thriller with big stars that entertains
in craftsmanlike fashion. Music by Howard Shore.
SCORPION (1986)--Directed by William Riead.
Stars Tonny Tulleners, Don Murray, Robert Logan. Crown International's attempt to capitalize on the success of Cannon's
Chuck Norris vehicles starred another international karate champion, Tonny Tulleners, who bears an uncanny physical resemblance
to Norris, though not as much charisma (which is hard to believe, I know). Tulleners is American agent Steve Woods--code
name: Scorpion--who is assigned by big-shot attorney Gifford Leese (Murray) to bodyguard a Middle Eastern terrorist who's
turning state's evidence against his partners. After Steve's fellow agent and childhood pal is murdered, as well as
the terrorist, he kicks and thumps his way across Los Angeles in an attempt to find the man responsible.
Although Riead seems to have been an interesting individual--he
was formerly a news anchor and documentary filmmaker who made behind-the-scenes featurettes about films such as THE TERMINATOR,
LONE WOLF MCQUADE (which starred Norris) and FIRST BLOOD--he isn't much of a dramatic storyteller, staging some very lethargic
action scenes within a fractured, confusing narrative (Riead also produced and scripted SCORPION). He isn't helped much
by a lackluster leading actor (who doesn't appear to have made any more films), and not even supporting pros like Murray and
Logan are good enough to prop Tulleners up. Believe it or not, SCORPION did receive a theatrical release, although it
may have been the last for Crown International. Also with John Anderson, Robert Colbert, Allen Williams, Ross Elliott,
Bart Braverman and John La-Zar. Music by Sean Murray. Although the budget couldn't have been much, Riead did go
to Hawaii, Spain and the Netherlands to shoot footage.
SCORPION THUNDERBOLT (1985)--Directed by Godfrey
Ho. Stars Richard Harrison, Juliet Chan, Benny Tsu, Nancy Lim. This ridiculous supernatural mishmash is pretty
outrageous even by Godfrey Ho’s standards. One of about a zillion no-budget wonders that Ho and producer Joseph
Lai managed to unscrupulously splice extraneous Harrison footage into, SCORPION manages to work the mustached American star
into the confusing storyline about every fifteen minutes or so, whether it makes any sense or not.
The main plot involves some kind of snake queen who lives in a red
castle and is able to transform Helen, a pretty photographer (Chan), into a flying snake monster with arms and legs and force
her to kill. Who she’s killing and why, I have no idea. Helen manages to temporarily keep her awful secret
from Jackie (Tsui), the cop investigating the murders. When he finds out, he tries to stop the police from gunning her
down.
Meanwhile, we first see Richard (Harrison) picking up a sexy hitchhiker
who flashes her breasts at him (“I hate to see people standing out in the rain.”). She tells him she’s
an actress and takes him to a screening room, where they watch a ridiculous film in which she’s tied up naked while
a Chinese artist paints psychedelic designs on her body (“I have to admit, you’ve got fucking talent.”).
She does a striptease for him, and tries to stab him in the back during sex. Every time we see Richard after that, somebody
is jumping out of the shadows, trying to kick his ass and steal his ring. A priest finally gives him a hilariously complicated
formula for destroying the snake queen, which can apparently only be accomplished on the 15th day of the month.
After being prostituted by Ho and Lai, Harrison, who signed up to
star in a couple of films for the duo and was astonished when footage from them appeared in more than a dozen increasingly
terrible releases, eventually left the business and returned to California, where he began acting in Fred Olen Ray movies.
Nothing Ray ever made could be as insane as SCORPION THUNDERBOLT, which contains neither a scorpion nor a thunderbolt.
SCREAM (1996)--Directed by Wes Craven. Stars
Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, Rose McGowan, Drew Barrymore.
Low-budget teen slasher flick released by Miramax's Dimension Films subsidiary became one of the decade's biggest sleepers,
and rejuvenated the previously-considered-to-be-dead horror genre. A masked slasher who is hacking up local teenagers is terrorizing
the small town of Woodsboro, California. At the center of the mayhem is a cute high-school senior named Sidney Prescott (PARTY
OF FIVEs Campbell), whose mother was raped and murdered a year earlier in the same manner as the current killings. The man
Sidney accused of those crimes, Cotton Weary (Liev Schrieber), is currently in jail awaiting trial. So who is committing these
new murders?
SCREAM's phenomenal success was due to its witty and self-reflective screenplay by Kevin Williamson,
who acknowledges that the audience is well aware of the clichés of the horror genre, and throws in a number of references,
in-jokes and nods to horror film classics. The characters in the movie have seen all those classics (like HALLOWEEN or Craven's
own NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET), so they know the rules of the horror film (don't drink, don't have sex, never say "I'll be right
back"...). The fun lies in watching Williamson and director Craven twist those clichés back on us as an audience. Mixing humor
and horror has rarely been done successfully, but the filmmakers pull it off very well. The mostly young cast (and a few recognizable
old-timers in cameos such as Henry Winkler and Linda Blair) is attractive and appealing, and Marco Beltrami's first major
score is a triumph.
SCREAM 2 (1997)--Directed by Wes Craven. Stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox,
David Arquette, Jamie Kennedy. The cast of the original film (at least those whose characters survived) reunites along with
director Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson for this well-done sequel that hit theaters 12 months after the original
was released to a box-office gross of over $100 million. SCREAM victim Sidney Prescott (cute Campbell, again acting mostly
with her bottom lip) is attending college two years later at Windsor College in Ohio, along with film geek Randy (Kennedy),
her new boyfriend Derek (Jerry O'Connell of TV's SLIDERS), black roommate Ally (Elise Neal) and assorted friends. Ambitious
TV journalist Gale Weathers (Cox, reprising her role) has written a best-selling account of the events depicted in SCREAM,
which has been turned into a major movie called STAB. At the same time, a series of copycat killings starts on the Windsor
campus, with Sidney's friends as the victims.
Not quite up to the quality of the original, mainly because the format
has already been set, and many of the surprises of the first film are merely repeated here. Wisely, Craven and Williamson
know the rules of horror movie sequels (more blood, more elaborate killings, etc.), and acknowledge those clichés while still
throwing them at us and making them seem new. At least two of Craven's set pieces will make your skin crawl, and it's almost
impossible to guess the killer's identity. Many attractive faces join the cast this time around including Jada Pinkett, Timothy
Olyphant, Omar Epps, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Rebecca Gayheart, Laurie Metcalf, Cliff Arquette (David's father, who passed away
in 2001), David Warner and Liev Schrieber returning as falsely accused killer Cotton Weary. Marco Beltrami delivers another
fine score, which curiously uses some of Hans Zimmer's music from 1996's BROKEN ARROW as a theme for David Arquette's character!
Danny Elfman provided additional music.
SCREAM 3 (2000)--Directed by Wes Craven. Stars Neve Campbell,
David Arquette, Courteney Cox Arquette, Parker Posey. In WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE, the director of the original NIGHTMARE
ON ELM STREET managed to blur the sometimes fine line between reality and fantasy by having bogeyman Freddy Krueger torment
real-life actress Heather Langenkamp, who played the heroine in that movie. Moving one step further, the surviving characters
from SCREAM and SCREAM 2 now find themselves meeting Hollywood versions of themselves--actors in STAB 3, the third chapter
of the horror movie series based upon the Woodsboro, California murders that were committed in the original SCREAM.
Poor
Sidney Prescott (the doe-like Neve Campbell), who has seen nearly every relative, friend and lover she's ever had sliced and
diced, has become (understandably) a recluse, locking herself into her country home, where she works as an anonymous phone
crisis worker. Still haunted by visions of the Ghostface Killer and her dead mother Maureen, Sidney travels to Hollywood to
assist in the investigation of several new murders, the victims of which are STAB 3 actors who are being bumped off in the
same order they are dispatched in the script. There she reunites with abrasive reporter Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox Arquette,
wearing an unattractive fright wig and resembling an anorexic Elvira), now an entertainment journalist after bombing in a
brief stint on 60 MINUTES II, and former Woodsboro deputy Dewey Riley (David Arquette, still sporting that Robert Clarke mustache
and accompanied by Duane Eddy's twangy theme from BROKEN ARROW), now a STAB 3 technical advisor and bodyguard to highstrung
indie-film actress Jennifer Jolie (played by indie-film actress Parker Posey), who's portraying Gale in the film-within-the-film.
Other new characters include: former music-video director Roman Bridger (Scott Foley), getting his big break helming STAB
3; horror film producer John Milton (Lance Henriksen, who deserves more screen time), who shares a name with the author of
PARADISE LOST, which chronicled Man's descent from the Garden of Eden; Sarah Darling (Jenny McCarthy), a big-breasted bimbo
who doesn't know the difference between PSYCHO and VERTIGO; Angelina Tyler (Emily Mortimer), a naive ingénue playing the character
of Sidney; actors Gabe (Deon Richmond) and Tom (Matt Keeslar); obnoxious professional bodyguard Steven Stone (Patrick Warburton,
SEINFELD's Puddy; and Kincaid (Patrick Dempsey), the film-obsessed detective working the case.
Of course most of these
characters will be killed (many exist in the screenplay only to be killed), and Craven and screenwriter Ehren Kruger (replacing
original SCREAM scribe Kevin Williamson) wisely attempt to up the suspense by acknowledging the rules of a trilogy, including
the concept that anyone--even a main character--can be killed off at any time. Setting the film on a movie backlot allows
Craven to work in more of the in-jokes and references for which the SCREAM series has become famous (note, for instance, the
names of the STAB 3 actresses), while self-reflexively weaving together the real world of SCREAM and the fantasy world of
STAB 3. Seeing the first two SCREAMs are a necessity, since the events of SCREAM 3 dovetail neatly back to the incidents in
Woodsboro.
One reviewer compared these antics to IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD, which is apt considering all the
running around, the often cartoony performances (Posey in particular is way off the map), and frequently jarring cameo appearances
(Heather Matarazzo literally pops out of a trailer door for no reason just like Sammy Davis Jr. on the old BATMAN TV series).
The film's biggest weakness is that--despite assurances that the rules were made to be broken in the final film of a trilogy--the
structure and format is basically the same as in the first two movies, and Craven can no longer pull any major surprises out
of his hat. Being the hardy craftsman that he is, however, many of the scare scenes pack a major punch, and, along with composer
Marco Beltrami's calculated stings and booms and cinematographer Peter Deming's widescreen framing, contribute to a fun, albeit
tired, thriller. Also with appearances by Jamie Kennedy as the late film geek Randy (dispatched in SCREAM 2), Liev Schreiber
reprising his role as Cotton Weary, Kelly Rutherford (who appears in a bravura pre-title sequence), Carrie Fisher, Roger Corman
(amusing as a studio executive) and Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith as Jay and Silent Bob!
SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN
(1970)--Directed by Gordon Hessler. Stars Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Alfred Marks, Michael Gothard. Confusing
but fast-paced horror flick that sadly wastes the presence of its stars. Lee has a couple of odd scenes as a British secret
agent, and Cushing has just one as a Nazi-type officer. The three principals never appear together (although Lee and Price
meet briefly at the end). Vinnie is properly hammy (in what is basically a supporting role) as a mad doctor creating superhumans
through the use of limb and organ transplants from living victims. One such creation is a vampire-like killer (Gothard made
up to resemble Mick Jagger) who picks up his nubile young victims in discos and drains their bodies of blood. When a police
inspector (Marks) realizes there's no blood found at any of the crime scenes, he becomes suspicious of Price's activities.
Highlight is an extended chase sequence during which Gothard, under arrest and handcuffed to the bumper of a police car, escapes
by tearing his own hand off and leaving it dangling from the cuffs! Christopher Wicking's enjoyably silly script was based
on a novel by Peter Saxon. Also with Judy Huxtable, Uta Levka and the luscious Yutte Stensgaard, who starred in the same year's
LUST FOR A VAMPIRE for Hammer.
SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM (1973)--Directed
by Bob Kelljan. Stars William Marshall, Pam Grier, Don Mitchell, Michael Conrad. Blacula is back in this old-fashioned
PG-rated sequel. This time, the dignified Count Mamuwalde (Marshall) returns from the dead to work some voodoo mojo
on Pam Grier. Well, more accurately, ask voodoo priestess Grier to work some of her magic on him, since he's tired of
being undead and just wants to be dead. Mitchell (IRONSIDE) is solid enough as Grier's believing boyfriend, an ex-cop
having a difficult time getting his old pal Sheriff Dunlop (Conrad) to buy into the whole story about a vampire who can turn
into bats and is killing half the city of Los Angeles. Kelljan, who had already made COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE and RETURN
OF COUNT YORGA, directs efficiently with a minimum of graphic gore and an overload of 1940's-style atmosphere and pacing.
Also with Richard Lawson, Bernie Hamilton, Barbara Rhoades, Lynne Moody, Bob Minor, Nicholas Worth and Craig T. Nelson.
Music by Bill Marx. This was an American International release.
SCREAM FOR VENGEANCE! (1980)—Directed by
Bob Bliss. Stars Sally Lockett, Nicholas Jacquez, Bob Elliott. I knew nothing about this regional chase melodrama
before popping it into my DVD player. Apparently released domestically by Manson International as VENGEANCE, it was
vividly branded SCREAM FOR VENGEANCE! on its British home video release. It appears to have been shot completely on
location somewhere in the Midwest, perhaps in Missouri. Probably influenced by LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, it’s a
surprisingly raw and exciting slice of exploitation with a nasty streak and rousing action.
A midnight jewelry store heist goes awry, and the four gunmen snatch
two nearby college students to use as hostages during their getaway. Jenny (Lockett), the granddaughter of a prominent
state Senator, and Mark (Jacquez), whom she had just met while doing her laundry, are taken hundreds of miles away to a remote
cabin, where they are guarded by one kidnapper while the others leave to send their ransom demand. They manage to escape,
and the chase through the harsh woods is on.
Rape, gore, chases, fights, full frontal nudity—all the makings
of an exploitation classic are present in director Bliss’ screenplay, and it’s a wonder why this film is so obscure.
It runs just under 90 minutes and is packed with suspenseful and sick scenes that should have made SCREAM FOR VENGEANCE! something
of a classic. Even the musical score is more professional sounding than similar low-budget regional fare; though I’m
relatively certain it’s canned music, it’s appropriate to the film’s tone and spotted well. Bliss
doesn’t seem to have directed any other features, but this one is certainly not the work of an amateur.
A SCREAM IN THE STREETS (1973)--Directed
by Carl Monson. Stars John Kirkpatric (Joshua Bryant?), Frank Bannon, Sharon Kelly. Is it a gritty crime drama
with hardcore sex scenes or is it a porn flick with stunts and action sequences? It's tough to say what exactly director
Monson (PLEASE DON'T EAT MY MOTHER) and executive producer Harry Novak were aiming for with A SCREAM IN THE STREETS, except,
of course, titillation. And on that count, they mostly succeed.
After an opening credits sequence in which a psychopathic transvestite
rapes and murders a young woman in the park, a pair of plainclothes detectives, Ed Haskell (!) and Bob Streeker, are busy
drawing down on a couple of armed robbers at a grocery store. The bust ends with one punk dead and the other in jail,
although the cops are disgusted when they later learn he was released on bail. An unfamiliar actor named Frank Bannon,
by the way, plays Streeker, but Haskell is portrayed by John Kirkpatric, who bears an uncanny resemblance to frequent '70s
TV guest star Joshua Bryant. So much so that, until I'm told otherwise, I'm going to assume he is Bryant, who's perhaps
best known for his role in SALEM'S LOT.
What appears at first glance to be a thriller about two cops chasing
a psycho turns out to be something else entirely when the next several minutes consists of a young hooker in a massage parlor
servicing and then being beaten by a middle-aged john. This scene is completely unrelated to anything else in the film,
and may have been from another picture entirely. Meanwhile, a Peeping Tom spies on a couple of housewives getting it
on on the living room floor; the married cop, Haskell, comforts his sensitive wife; a gorgeous red-haired police dispatcher
played by Sharon Kelly (who later become a prominent porn star under the name Colleen Brennan) gets it on with another cop;
and the wildly unconvincing drag queen, played by one of the worst actors ever to appear on 35mm film, continues his killing
spree, right up to an interesting split-screen twist ending.
It may not be good, but it certainly isn't dull--at least if you
enjoy cheesy '70s music, shootouts, jive talking, bad acting and lots of sex. The two leads actually give pretty decent
performances, another reason for me to suspect Kirkpatric is actually the reliable Bryant. Besides Kelly, sexploitation
regulars Sandi Carey, Con Convert and Sandy Dempsey also make brief appearances (out of their briefs, if you know what I mean
and I think you do). Kelly is particularly enthusiastic and sexy, and her subsequent fame in the adult film industry
comes as no surprise to me. Credited writer Eric Norden not only wrote Monson's earlier film PLEASE DON'T EAT MY MOTHER,
but also several B-westerns in the 1950s! Novak released several versions of A SCREAM IN THE STREETS, some featuring
more sex and less action for the grindhouse crowd and others just the opposite for drive-ins. Among the alternate titles
are SCREAM STREET and GIRL IN THE STREETS.
SCREAM OF FEAR (1961)--Directed by Seth Holt.
Stars Susan Strasberg, Christopher Lee, Ann Todd, Ronald Lewis. Not all of Hammer's horror films featured vampires,
mummies and other monsters. In the wake of PSYCHO, Hammer capitalized with several psychological horror films in the
same vein. This one, the first movie produced by screenwriter Jimmy Sangster, was their first. Young Penny Appleby
(Strasberg), confined to a wheelchair since falling off a horse as a child, returns to her father's French estate for the
first time in ten years. She's greeted by her father's second wife Jane (Todd) and chauffeur Bob (Lewis), and told that
her father was called away on an unexpected business trip. Nervous enough at the prospect of moving in with strangers,
Penny's neuroses take an even larger jolt when she discovers her father's corpse propped up in the poolhouse. And in
her bedroom. And even at the bottom of the swimming pool. Not that anyone else in the house, including family
physician Dr. Gerard (Lee), believes her. Yep, it's another spin on DIABOLIQUE, but one tautly scripted and directed.
Lee is mostly wasted, but Strasberg is marvelously vulnerable, and Sangster's plot twists down the backstretch are real zingers.
Titled TASTE OF FEAR in the U.K. Music by Clifton Parker.
SCREAM OF THE WOLF (1974)--Directed by Dan Curtis.
Stars Peter Graves, Clint Walker, Philip Carey, Jo Ann Pflug. The director (Curtis) and screenwriter (Richard Matheson)
of THE NIGHT STALKER reunite for another well-done made-for-TV horror movie. Whereas THE NIGHT STALKER brought the traditional
vampire legend into contemporary Las Vegas, SCREAM is more traditional, setting its werewolf story in the fog-shrouded mountains
of Northern California. Great white hunter John Weatherby (Graves) is called in to help out when a traveling salesman
is found murdered and mutilated on a country road outside Carmel. The condition of the body ("His face is gone!", exclaims
Graves) indicates some sort of animal--perhaps a wolf--was the culprit, but it would have had to have been a wolf of tremendous
strength, as the man's car roof and windshield were obliterated, and tracks leading away from the scene indicate a creature
that can walk on both four and two legs. In addition to Weatherby, the local sheriff, Vernon Bell (Carey), calls upon
for help another local outdoorsman, the eccentric Byron (Walker), a long-time friend and hunting companion of John's, who
turns down Bell's plea with a vague story of preparing for a South American safari. As the murders continue in equally
gory fashion--with Graves' girlfriend Sandy (Pflug) becoming an almost-victim--suspicion falls upon Byron, who was bitten
by a wolf while on a Canadian expedition with John some years back.
Filmed effectively at night on authentic woodsy locations, SCREAM
is an effective little shocker that isn't quite as great as THE NIGHT STALKER while still following its example. Several
moments are reminiscent of the earlier film, such as the suspenseful nighttime POV shots and a scene in which the city council
holds a news conference before a browbeating press corps (except with no abrasive Carl Kolchak sticking his nose in!).
Veteran stars Graves (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE) and Walker (CHEYENNE) are very good, creating a macho dynamic that really turns
on during the film's final half-hour or so, when strong elements of distrust, jealousy, arrogance and even veiled homosexuality
catapult SCREAM from a well-paced horror tale to something more mature. While the mystery of the werewolf's identity
may irk horror fans who might call it a cheat, Graves and Walker are strong enough to make the surprising climax believable
and emotional. Robert Cobert, another from the Curtis stable, turns in a functional score that's sometimes too hip for
the material. Don Megowan, Brian Richards and Bonnie Van Dyke also appear. 1974 was a busy year for Walker, whose
slate also included KILLDOZER and the short-lived KODIAK series. Based on a story by David Case, whose FENGRIFFEN was
filmed as AND NOW THE SCREAMING STARTS.
SCREAMERS (1979)--Directed by Sergio Martino.
Stars Barbara Bach, Claudio Cassinelli, Richard Johnson, Joseph Cotten. Shipwreck survivors wash ashore on a mysterious
island in this uncredited H.G. Wells remake that was made just two years after THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU with Burt Lancaster
and Michael York. Most of the survivors are killed off one by one by slimy man-sized amphibians. The ship's doctor,
Claude (Cassinelli), is befriended by beautiful Amanda (Bach), who seems to have some power over the creatures. She
takes him back to the mansion where she lives with Edmund Rackham (Johnson), who clearly has an unreciprocated hankering for
the sexy Amanda. Rackham claims the fishmen are actually descendents of the legendary underwater city of Atlantis, which
is located directly below (!) the island. However, his cover is blown when Claude meets Amanda's father, Professor Marvin
(Cotten), a geneticist who is creating the fishmen by surgically altering humans so the greedy Rackham can use them to loot
Atlantis of its treasure.
Made as ISLAND OF THE FISHMEN, it was originally released in the
United States as SOMETHING WAITS IN THE DARK and it bombed. In 1982, Roger Corman's New World Pictures bought it and
filmed a new opening sequence starring Mel Ferrer and Cameron Mitchell as 19th-century treasure hunters who are graphically
killed off by zombies on the same island where the rest of the movie supposedly takes place. These scenes, which have
nothing to do with anything else that happens later and even have a radically different (re: flat) cinematic look, were written
and directed by Miller Drake. New World then put it out as SCREAMERS with a grossly misleading ad campaign that claimed,
"You will actually see a man turned inside-out!" which, of course, was untrue. The tacked-on beginning, filmed in Bronson
Canyon, probably did make the film more marketable, however, because of its added "star power" and gore, which earned it an
R rating. The rest of it is more Jules Verne than Lucio Fulci, an old-fashioned adventure tale with walking fish monsters
and a ripe performance by Johnson as the heavy.
SCREAMERS (1996)--Directed by Christian Duguay.
Stars Peter Weller, Jennifer Rubin. Mostly enjoyable B-movie that starts out like a good old-fashioned futuristic monster
movie and then turns into something a bit more ambitious. It falls apart somewhat at the end, thanks to the plot holes in
Dan O'Bannon and Miguel Tejada-Flores' screenplay, but genre buffs should have a good time anyway. Weller (in an intelligent
performance) plays the commander of an army of Earth colonists on a distant planet who decides he's had enough of war and
seeks a peace treaty with the enemy. Unfortunately, to meet his counterpart face-to-face, Weller must traverse miles of barren
country on foot, which wouldn't be so terrible if it weren't for the fact that mechanical killers called screamers are patrolling
the countryside. The screamers, molelike devices that burrow at high speeds underground and attack with an array of flying
buzzsaws, were developed by Earth scientists to protect the mining colonies from their enemies. Not only are these screamers
intelligent, but, as Weller discovers, they've learned to develop...and reproduce. Duguay does a terrific job in his first
theatrical release (he previously helmed a pair of straight-to-video SCANNERS sequels and a made-for-TV movie), keeping the
action scenes moving quickly, drawing a strong performance from Weller, and showcasing his sets, locations and special effects,
which are breathtaking considering the film's low budget.
SCREAMERS: THE HUNTING (2009)—Directed
by Sheldon Wilson. Stars Lance Henriksen, Gina Holden. Thirteen years after the tragic events of the original
film, which received an unsuccessful theatrical release, a team of space soldiers returns to Sirius 6B in response to a distress
call. With just six days to complete their mission before a space storm destroys all life on the planet, the rescuers find
their own chances of survival cut short after a “screamer” drains their ship’s fuel cells. In case you’ve
forgotten, screamers are killer robots that burrow beneath the surface at high speeds and are programmed to rip apart any
living thing. The only way to escape their sensors is by wearing a “tab,” a mechanical device that convinces the
screamers that you’re dead.
Sets, costumes, special effects, and photography are quite
good for a direct-to-video sequel. Screenwriter Miguel Tejada-Flores’ intriguing conceit that the screamers have recycled
human bones and organs to create upgraded versions of themselves is an imaginative twist on the original material (Tejada-Flores
also co-wrote the 1996 film). A lamebrained love story tries to spoil the fun, though, and the cast, while capable, isn’t
strong enough to pass themselves off as hardened battle veterans. The money that was (well) spent on production values left
little to pay actors, so director Wilson hired a bunch of good-looking Canadians. Making Lance Henriksen the leader of the
team, much like Peter Weller in the original film, would have added some much needed gravity to the movie, but Wilson probably
couldn’t afford his rate for more than the few days he needed to play his welcome cameo.
It’s been awhile since I saw SCREAMERS, but this well-paced
sequel stacks up to my memory of it pretty well with enough gore and robot mayhem to keep your eyes open. Newfoundland provides
the appropriately bleak locations. Also with Greg Bryk, Jana Pallaske, Christopher Redman, and Tim Rozon. A clumsy epilogue
sets up an inevitable sequel to take place on Earth, which should shave a few hundred thousand off the budget.
SCREWBALLS (1983)—Directed by Rafal Zielinski.
Stars Linda Speciale, Peter Keleghan, Kent Deuters, Alan Deveau, Jason Warren, Jim Coburn, Linda Shayne, Raven de la Croix.
Believe it or not, this $800,000 Canadian teen sex comedy made enough money for New World that it inspired two Zielinski-directed
sequels: LOOSE SCREWS and SCREWBALL HOTEL. Have you experienced the vaunted SCREWBALLS trilogy? Written by Corman director
Jim Wynorski and co-star Linda Shayne, SCREWBALLS concerns horny students at T&A High School (!) who make a bet with each
other to see who can get hot virgin Purity Busch (Speciale) naked first. Hitting theaters just a month before PORKY’S
II: THE NEXT DAY, this clone is also a period piece set during the 1960s (though anachronisms abound). It isn’t as good
as either PORKY’S film; for one thing, it lacks any social commentary, but more importantly, SCREWBALLS isn’t
particularly funny. Where it totally kicks PORKY’S’ ass is its boob count. Every few minutes, a new pair bounces
across the screen, the most spectacular of which belong to Miss Shayne as Bootsie Goodhead, whose topless scene here ranks
among the finest in drive-in cinema history. Also with Pam Grier and Margaret Markov in clips from New World’s THE ARENA
and James Horner’s score (again) from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS. Producer Roger Corman slipped some exploding school footage
from ROCK ‘N ROLL HIGH SCHOOL into the trailer.
SCREWED (2000)--Directed by Scott Alexander
& Larry Karaszewski. Stars Norm Macdonald, Dave Chappelle, Elaine Stritch, Danny DeVito, Daniel Benzali, Sherman Hemsley.
God, did I want this movie to end. There is nothing--NOTHING--worse than a comedy that isn't funny, except for a comedy that
is meanspirited, dull, obnoxiously strident and unfunny. These words--and others that my head hurts too much to print--all
apply to SCREWED, the directorial debut of Alexander & Karaszewski, the Oscar-nominated screenwriters of THE PEOPLE VS.
LARRY FLYNT, MAN ON THE MOON and ED WOOD. The number of directors is actually larger than the number of laughs in this mess,
which stars Macdonald and Chappelle as the worlds dumbest dognappers.
Willard (Macdonald), butler to pastry entrepreneur
Miss Crock (Stritch), is treated so poorly by his screechy boss that he, along with best pal Rusty B. Hayes (Chappelle), decides
to kidnap her yappy poodle Muffin for $1 million ransom. Needless to say, the two idiots botch the job, which eventually involves
gross morgue attendant Grover Cleaver (DeVito), Miss Crock's smarmy assistant Chip (Hemsley) and intense detective Tom Dewey
(Benzali). The fact that the characters' names are based upon those of dead presidents is honestly the funniest joke in the
whole movie, and the only five seconds of footage that I could watch without cringing was a HAWAII FIVE-O clip on Grover's
TV (he's Vice-President of the Jack Lord Fan Club, don'cha know).
What a waste of talent. Stritch is a genuine Broadway
legend. Benzali was riveting as the star of the sadly short-lived TV series MURDER ONE. DeVito, Chappelle, Hemsley and Macdonald
have all been funny in the past, and cute standup comic Sarah Silverman is completely wasted as Willard's ex-girlfriend. SCREWED
is an embarrassment to them all, and will not rate even an honorable mention on their resumes. Filmed on location in Pittsburgh.
Music by Michel Colombier (PURPLE RAIN).
SCROOGED (1988)--Directed by Richard Donner. Stars Bill
Murray, Karen Allen, David Johansen, Robert Mitchum, John Forsythe, Bobcat Goldthwait. Heavy-handed comic update of Dickens's
A CHRISTMAS CAROL with Murray as ruthless TV network executive Frank Cross, who learns the true meaning of Christmas after
a visit from ghosts. Donner was probably the wrong director for this slightly mean-spirited comedy, but many of the TV parodies
are hilarious and Murray is amusing as usual. Cameos by Alfre Woodard, Jamie Farr, Robert Goulet, Lee Majors and Mary Lou
Retton. Al Green and Annie Lennox perform "Put A Little Love in Your Heart".
SEA OF LOVE (1989)--Directed
by Harold Becker. Stars Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin, John Goodman, Michael Rooker, William Hickey. Pacino gives a strong performance
in this comeback vehicle after the total failure of REVOLUTION. He plays a burned-out cop, who, with friendly partner Goodman,
is investigating a serial killer knocking off men who answer her personal ad. The chief suspect is a sexy blonde (Barkin),
who begins an affair with an undercover Pacino. The killer's identity is a bit of a cheat, but scripter Richard Price has
a good ear for dialogue, and the chemistry between the leads is electrifying. Barkin gives the most erotic performance in
recent memory.
SEARCH AND DESTROY (1978)--Directed by William
Fruet. Stars Perry King, Don Stroud, Tisa Farrow, Park Jong Soo. Action fans should have a pretty good time with this decently
crafted thriller shot in June '78 around Niagara Falls. King, who lives with his sweet wife Farrow (sister of Mia), and Stroud,
a motorcycle-riding wild man, are Vietnam veterans living simple but decent lives, who discover they are being stalked by
a Vietnamese assassin they had left for dead ten years earlier. The thin plot is more suitable for a one-hour TV show than
a feature film, but a couple of well-done protracted chase scenes and nice performances by King and Stroud make this one to
look for. Rated PG, it seemingly used to play on HBO a dozen times a month during the early '80s. George Kennedy is better
than could be expected in a one-dimensional role as a police captain trying to contain the fighting. Stunts coordinated by
Buddy Joe Hooker. Music by FM.
SEARCH AND RESCUE (1994)--Directed by Paul
Krasny. Stars Robert Conrad, Dee Wallace Stone, Chad McQueen, LaVelda Fann. Life in the tranquil mountain village
of Bear Valley, as seen through the eyes of the town eccentric, chopper pilot Tooter Campbell (Conrad). It actually
doesn't seem to be all that tranquil there, fraught as it is with car crashes and stranded skiers. Which is where the
local volunteer Search and Rescue team comes in, which includes Tooter, general store owner Stone, sheriff McQueen and nurse
Fann. This TV pilot is amiable enough, showcasing some nice Sierra scenery and setting up the friendly relationships
among the townspeople. Seeing Conrad play father figure to his real-life much-younger wife Fann is a little creepy though.
Also with Wil Shriner, Sal Viscuso, Ramon Franco, Kelly Curtis, James Marsden (X-MEN) and Martin Hewitt. Conrad's kids
Shane and Joan were producer and executive producer, respectively. Fourteen months after CBS aired the pilot, a seven-episode
run of HIGH SIERRA SEARCH AND RESCUE began.
SEARCH FOR THE EVIL ONE (1967)—Directed by
Joseph Kane. Stars Lee Patterson, Lisa Pera, Henry Brandon, Anna-Lisa, Pitt Herbert. Here’s a real obscurity. I bet
this drowsy drama put a lot of late-night TV viewers to sleep back in the day, but I don’t know how anyone would even
find it today. Director Kane started out making B-westerns in the 1930s, and thirty years later, he still hadn’t learned
a damn thing about pacing or style. Direction is strictly of the point-and-shoot-people-blabbing school in this stiff espionage
tale that, with a lot more spice, could have been right at home in a men’s sweat mag of the era. The Israeli government
recruits Jewish judo expert Patterson (SURFSIDE 6) to infiltrate a South American castle where none other than Adolf Hitler
(Herbert) is rumored to be hiding. He is, and a flashback to April 1945 shows us how he might have escaped the bunker. The
cheap sets and Herbert’s laughable hamming may fool you into believing you’re watching an SCTV sketch. Patterson
dumps his anti-Semetic girlfriend Pera, but jumps back in the sack with her when it’s discovered she has an in with
Martin Bormann (Brandon). I admit—I zonked out a couple of times, but I couldn’t let the bastard beat me, so I
stuck it out to the end. Amazingly, Oscar-winning editor Verna Fields (JAWS) cut this bore. She got better at her job. Also
with H.M. Wynant, Jennifer Lea, and James Dobson.
SECRET ADMIRER (1985)--Directed by David
Greenwalt. Stars C. Thomas Howell, Lori Loughlin, Fred Ward, Kelly Preston, Dee Wallace Stone, Cliff DeYoung, Leigh Taylor-Young.
Teen Howell receives a love note from a secret admirer. He can't decide if it came from cute pal Loughlin or sexpot classmate
Preston. The comic hijinks really begin when Howell's mother (Stone) comes across the note, and thinks it's a proposal from
Preston's father (Ward)! Not too bad, and with a minimum of smut.
SECRET
AGENT SUPER DRAGON (1966)--Directed by Giorgio Ferroni. Stars Ray Danton, Marisa Mell, Margaret Lee, Carlo D’Angelo,
Jess Hahn. One of many Hollywood leading men who fled to Europe during the 1960s to make a go at it headlining low-budget
action films, deep-voiced Ray Danton plays Super Dragon, a smug, suave secret agent lured out of retirement after his former
partner is killed on a mission. Mysterious deaths in a small Michigan town lead Super Dragon to Amsterdam, where he teams
up with comely agents Charity (Mell), Cynthia (Lee), and Babyface (Hahn), whom Super Dragon springs from Sing Sing. Light
on action and muddled in plot, SUPER DRAGON tries to get by on its locations and some clever gadgets, such as the inflatable
airbags that get the star out of a sealed coffin at the bottom of a canal. Danton is handsome and smooth, if somewhat bland.
Neither a good film nor a particularly bad one, if MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 had to skewer a Eurospy flick, it may as well
have been this one. Danton later left acting to pursue a career directing cheap horror films and episodic television. Also
known as NEW YORK CALLING SUPERDRAGON.
SECRET AGENT X-9 (1945)—Directed by
Lewis D. Collins & Ray Taylor. Stars Lloyd Bridges, Keye Luke, Jan Wiley, Victoria Horne, Cy Kendall. Universal’s
second serial based on the comic strip exploits of Secret Agent X-9, created in 1934 by writer Dashiell Hammett (THE MALTESE
FALCON) and artist Alex Raymond (FLASH GORDON). One of the studio’s last serials before quitting the genre in
1946, X-9 is also one of the talkiest I’ve seen, settling for barely one minor action scene per chapter. Compared
with the slugfests Republic was producing at the same time, X-9 comes as something of a disappointment. Bridges, on
the other hand, is terrific in an early role as the title character, American agent Phil Corrigan.
On Shadow Island, a neutral island located in the South Pacific
owned by shady Lucky Kamber (Kendall), who caters to the underworld by offering escaped criminals a place to hide in exchange
for a monthly fee, Corrigan, Chinese agent Ah Fong (Luke) and Australian agent Lynn Moore (Wiley, who attempts no accent)
battle the nefarious Japanese leader Nabura (Horne). One of Nabura’s scientists has discovered an element known
as 722, which, when combined with distilled water, is an inexpensive substitute for airplane fuel. The only sample of
722 rests in the San Francisco laboratory of Professor Raymond, who is unaware of 722’s potential. Nabura, collaborating
with the Nazis, plans to create a perfect double for Raymond and send him to the U.S. to steal 722.
If I didn’t know better, X-9’s large cast, complicated
plot and heavy dialogue would lead me to think Universal aimed it at an older audience, but it’s too juvenile and clichéd
for adults. The cliffhangers are pretty standard, and a couple of the resolutions are downright cheats. Besides
the miscast Horne, who isn’t very threatening, the acting is quite good, particularly the confident Bridges, who struts
through his only serial with his blond hair flopping and a sardonic grin that implies he was having as much fun as the kids
in the audience were. Probably more, considering how routine SECRET AGENT X-9 feels. Also with Stanley Price,
Samuel Hinds, Jack Overman, George Lynn, Benson Fong, Mauritz Hugo and Carey Loftin.
THE SECRET INVASION (1964)--Directed by Roger
Corman. Stars Stewart Granger, Raf Vallone, Mickey Rooney, Henry Silva, Edd Byrnes, William Campbell. Three years before THE
DIRTY DOZEN, Roger Corman and his producer brother Gene made this well-paced World War II adventure about a disparate group
of prisoners recruited and promised pardons to undertake a suicide mission. Granger plays their leader, a Major with British
Intelligence, who has orders to rescue an Italian general from a Nazi stronghold in Dubrovnik. His charges are a steely-eyed
hitman (Silva), a drunken Irish demolitionist (Rooney), a forger (Byrnes), an Italian gangster (Vallone) and a suave art thief
(Campbell). Corman wisely shot on location in Yugoslavia, which gives his low-budget ($590,000, his largest to date) production
an epic scope--his battle scenes feature lots of exciting gunplay and hundred of extras. The actors are seemingly left to
their own devices--Silva and Byrnes do good work, it's nice to see Campbell in a major role, but Rooney is embarrassingly
over-the-top, doing all sorts of eye-rolling, lip-smacking and double-taking. Music by Hugo Friedhofer is serviceable. Screenwriter
R. Wright Campbell, a frequent Roger Corman collaborator, is William Campbell's brother. Also with Peter Coe, Mia Massin,
Charles Brent and Kurt Bricker.
THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (1947)--Directed by Norman Z. McLeod.
Stars Danny Kaye, Virginia Mayo, Boris Karloff, Ann Rutherford. Great comedy based on James Thurber's classic short story.
Kaye is terrific as a milquetoast who has various fantasies of adventure. He becomes entangled with jewel thieves and evil
psychiatrist Karloff. Great fun.
THE SECRET OF MY SUCCESS (1987)--Directed by Herbert Ross. Stars
Michael J. Fox, Helen Slater, Margaret Whitton, Richard Jordan, Fred Gwynne. This satire of big business stars Fox as a Kansas
college graduate who moves in with corporate raider/uncle Jordan, and begins his rise to the top. Sleeping with Jordan's wife
(Whitton) doesn't hurt his chances at work, but it does get him off to a rocky start with true love Slater. Fox is good as
a kind of spinoff of his FAMILY TIES character.
THE SECRET OF THE RED ORCHID (1962)--Directed
by Helmut Ashley. Stars Christopher Lee, Adrien Hoven, Marisa Mell. One of the least exciting krimis I've seen,
it was based on Edgar Wallace's WHEN THE GANGS CAME TO LONDON. Scotland Yard Inspector Weston (Hoven) teams up with
FBI agent Allerman (Lee) to track some killers in London. It seems a pair of rival Chicago gangs have carried their
war over to the fog-shrouded streets of London. Odd, since one of the mob leaders was allegedly murdered in Chicago
and the other deported. Mell plays the lovely secretary to one wealthy victim, who willed her his estate rather than
his playboy nephew. ORCHID is sadly missing the more outrageous "comic book"y trappings of the German krimis, telling
a dull straightforward tale of mobsters, heists and murder. The best reason to watch is for Lee, who doesn't dub himself,
and Klaus Kinski in a small role. Also known as PUZZLE OF THE RED ORCHID and by its original West German title, DAS
RATSEL DER ROTEN ORCHIDEE. Music by Peter Thomas.
THE SECRET WAR OF HARRY FRIGG (1966)--Directed
by Jack Smight. Stars Paul Newman, Sylva Koscina, Andrew Duggan, Tom Bosley, Charles Gray. Newman is wasted in this lame service
comedy about a malcontent Army private in World War II with a great talent for breaking out of the brig. When five Allied
generals are captured and held in an Italian prison, Newman is sent into action. His mission becomes more complicated when
he falls for sexy warden Koscina. Newman tries, but there just aren't enough laughs here. From the director of DAMNATION ALLEY.
THE SEDUCTION (1982)--Directed by David Schmoeller. Stars Morgan Fairchild, Michael Sarrazin,
Andrew Stevens, Vince Edwards, Colleen Camp. The sexy star of TV’s prime-time soap FLAMINGO ROAD made the leap
to the big screen in this drab slasher movie. Her nude scenes made a bit of a splash, but the movie was a flop, and
Morgan returned to TV. As a blond television news anchor named Jamie Douglas, the 31-year-old siren dallies with a rugged
reporter (Sarrazin), but unwittingly attracts the sweaty, psychopathic photographer (Stevens) living on the mountain next
to her mansion, where he takes pictures of her swimming naked in her pool. When Stevens’ attention escalates from
unsolicited gifts and telephone calls to outright stalking, Sarrazin punches him out and complains to detective Edwards (BEN
CASEY), who implausibly claims that he hasn’t committed a crime (I counted trespassing and assault by that point) and
there’s nothing he can do. All he does is suggest that Fairchild buy a gun. Well, I guess it’s easier
than working. Morgan’s delicious body isn’t enough to counterbalance the illogical story, slow pacing and
low body count. Have your TV brick ready for the final reels, where no one acts the way an actual human being would.
Lalo Schifrin’s lush score sounds composed for a softer movie. Also with Kevin Brophy (LUCAN), Woodrow Parfrey
and Joanne Linville. From the director of TOURIST TRAP.
SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES (1980)—Directed by Jay
Sandrich. Stars Goldie Hawn, Chevy Chase, Charles Grodin. Neil Simon penned this amusing original screenplay,
which brought together the stars of the smash hit FOUL PLAY and Emmy-winning director Sandrich, who has helmed dozens of TV
sitcoms, but only one feature film. Chevy is framed for a bank robbery, and turns up on the doorstep of ex-wife Goldie
for help. Trouble is, she’s married to the district attorney (Grodin), who needs to stay scandal-free in order
to land the governor’s support for an attorney general run. Throw in several dogs, a Hispanic housekeeper, a jive-talking
black chauffeur, a love triangle, slapstick and classic screwball comedy, and you’ve got a real crowd-pleaser that entertained
audiences during the 1980 Christmas season, but doesn’t seem to be remembered well today. All three leads are
perfectly cast—wiseass Chase, golden Goldie and wry Grodin—are receive talented support from Robert Guillaume
(from Sandrich’s SOAP), George Grizzard, Harold Gould and T.K. Carter. Music by Marvin Hamlisch. Hawn later
appeared on the first and fourteenth episodes of THE CHEVY CHASE SHOW, one of late-night TV’s most notorious bombs.
SEMI-TOUGH (1977)--Directed by Michael Ritchie.
Stars Burt Reynolds, Jill Clayburgh, Kris Kristofferson, Robert Preston, Bert Convy. This tribute to the '70s has dated badly
(thanks to its references to free love, transcendental meditation, leisure suits et al), but is still worth watching, thanks
to the cast. Pro football players Reynolds and Kristofferson live with their platonic pal Clayburgh, who also happens to be
the daughter of team owner Preston. When Kristofferson and Clayburgh join a cult and become engaged, Reynolds attempts to
win her for himself. Ritchie has always had a special affinity for films with sports themes, although this isn't really a
film about football; Ritchie is much more interested in the central love triangle. So are we, because it involves three appealing
and interesting characters. Convy is hilarious as the unctuous cult leader. Look for Brian Dennehy in a small role as one
of the players. Based upon Dan Jenkins's bestseller.
THE SENDER (1997)--Directed by Richard Pepin.
Stars Michael Madsen, R. Lee Ermey, Shelli Lether, Erica Everage. Pepin mounts several wild car chases in this middling
PM science-fiction movie, one which involves Madsen fighting someone on the back of a semi trailer without once losing his
sunglasses. In 1965, the father of Dallas Grayson was lost on an Air Force mission in the Bermuda Triangle. Thirty
years later, Dallas (Madsen) discovers that he and his father possessed a very rare gene that has caused his young daughter
Lisa (Everage) to become a "sender", an Earthling with telekinetic powers, which she has secretly been honing with the aid
of Angel (Lether), a sexy alien in a skintight silver bodysuit. Colonel Rosewater (Ermey), in the employ of sinister
government leaders who wish to learn Lisa's secret, kidnap her and attempt to kill Dallas, sucking the grieving father into
a maelstrom of exploding cars, betrayal and extraterrestrials. It's not one of PM's greatest, but the expert stunt work
and the veteran cast do their best to make it all quite watchable. Also with Robert Vaughn, Dyan Cannon, Steven Williams,
Rance Howard and Bryan Bloom. Madsen also starred in PM's EXECUTIVE TARGET the same year.
THE SENTINEL (1977)--Directed by Michael
Winner. Stars Chris Sarandon, Cristina Raines, John Carradine, Burgess Meredith, Arthur Kennedy, Sylvia Miles, Beverly DAngelo,
Eli Wallach. A lot of familiar--and probably embarrassed--faces pop up in this dumb but fun shocker based upon a novel by
Jeffrey Konvitz (SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT). It takes awhile to get going--and when it does, it makes very little sense--but
the hammy acting by the professional supporting cast and ample amounts of gore should keep you awake.
Poor Alison
Parker (Raines). As a teenager, she returned home early one day to walk in on her elderly pops in bed with two fat, naked
women. That led to her first suicide attempt. Her second came the same night that the wife of her lover, oily lawyer Michael
Lehman (Sarandon), committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. Two years later, shes a successful model, her father has died
of cancer, and shes moved into a baroque Brooklyn brownstone, the top floor of which is occupied by blind Father Halloran
(Carradine), who sits in front of his window day after day just staring. For just $400 a month rent, it's hard to complain,
but Alison's neighbors sure are strange. Besides eccentric Charles Chazen (Meredith), a dapper little man who throws birthday
parties for his cat, Jezebel, the house is also occupied by Gerde (Miles) and Sondra (DAngelo), a lesbian couple who certainly
aren't afraid to flaunt their relationship in public (Sondra even masturbates right in front of Alison!), and the aforementioned
priest, who never leaves his apartment.
After a couple of fainting spells, Alison awakens late one night to hear noises
from the supposedly unoccupied apartment above hers. Investigating (while still wearing her best lingerie, of course), she
discovers a horrifying sight: her father's zombified corpse, frolicking with what appears to be the same two fat, naked women
from years before. In terror, she stabs her father repeatedly, slicing off his nose and splattering blood all over herself.
Although no corpse can be found at the scene, Police Detective Gatz (Wallach) is interested in the case, since he
investigated the suicide of Michael's wife two years earlier, and believed her to be the victim of a murder perpetrated by
her husband. After some amateur sleuthing, a few mysterious words by a strange priest (Kennedy) who appears to be following
Alison, and the discovery that the apartments supposedly containing Alison's neighbors are empty and the people she claims
to have met there are murderers who have been deceased for many years, Michael discovers that the brownstone actually conceals
the entrance to Hell, and Alison has been chosen as the latest--to replace Father Halloran upon his death--in a long line
of sentinels, whose duty is to guard the door to prevent the demons from escaping. Chazen and the rest are reincarnations
sent from Hell to force Alison into suicide, since only then will they be free to wander the Earth once more.
Winner
(DEATH WISH) really pulls out all the stops at the finale, casting real freaks and physically deformed people as Chazen's
minions and splashing blood all over the screen while Raines screams and Meredith foams at the mouth. Meredith is actually
very good in the film, ably transforming from the kindly but strange neighbor into a ranting emissary of Evil. Really, all
of the veteran cast members are fun to watch, since Winner's strategy in directing them seems to have been to just let them
do whatever they wanted; there's no consistent tone to the various performances, although watching the actors leap all over
the map probably makes the movie much more entertaining that it would have been otherwise. The same can't be said for the
young leads; Sarandon, wearing an unctuous mustache and tailored suits, seems too villainous for the hero role (and with good
reason, as it turns out), and Raines, while unconventionally lovely (I think it's that sexy overbite), showcases very little
in the charisma department.
Both actors are let down by Winner's uneven direction and sloppy screenplay (Konvitz,
who co-produced with Winner, strangely isn't credited with the script, although it seems surprising that he wouldn't have
helped out in that department). The novel set up the possibility that Michael may have been gaslighting his fiancé to drive
her to suicide, but that angle, probably in an effort to turn Sarandon's role into a romantic lead, is dropped in the film
(an odd choice, considering Michael is a suspected murderer). Furthermore, the Italian-set prologue is confusing, Alison's
fainting spells appear to be a deux es machina created just as an excuse to get her character away from a party near the end,
and the police investigation subplot is abruptly dropped with no payoff or follow-up after only a couple of scenes.
THE
SENTINEL certainly isn't a very good film, but its considerable violence, outrageous climax, veteran supporting cast and very
'70s political incorrectness make it a must-see for bad-movie lovers. Other familiar faces belong to Jerry Orbach, Jeff Goldblum,
Christopher Walken, Tom Berenger, Ava Gardner, Martin Balsam, Jose Ferrer, Deborah Raffin, William Hickey, Fred Stuthman,
Ron McLarty and Nana Visitor. Raines went on to brief TV stardom as saloon singer Lane Ballou on FLAMINGO ROAD. Music by Gil
Melle. Dick Smith (THE EXORCIST) provided the gory makeup effects.
THE SENTINEL (2006)--Directed by Clark Johnson.
Stars Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland, Kim Basinger, Eva Longoria. This is the second best movie titled THE SENTINEL
that I’ve seen (see previous review). It stars Michael Douglas as a Secret Service agent sexing up the First Lady,
not that I blame him, 'cause she looks like Kim Basinger. A traitor inside the Secret Service discovers the affair and
uses it to frame Douglas for an assassination plot against President Sledge Hammer (David Rasche!). Kiefer Sutherland
(yeah, Jack Bauer!) is the agent investigating Douglas. He has a personal beef with Douglas, whom he believes used to
bone his ex-wife. Also in the movie for no good reason is Eva Longoria, even though if I was the President, I wouldn't
want a 4'11" 97-pound woman protecting me from assassins. Director Clark Johnson (Meldrick from HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE
STREET) has a small role, as do Blair Brown, Martin Donovan, Gloria Reuben, Paul Calderon and Chuck Shamata (from DEATH WEEKEND).
I think the end of the movie was shot at the same Toronto location where THE KIDNAPPING OF THE PRESIDENT took place.
THE SENTINEL is a typically slick but soulless PG-13 Hollywood thriller with no particularly clever, original or exciting
attributes. It probably won't put you to sleep, but it ain't likely to get your heart pumping either. Music by
Christophe Beck.
SERENITY (2005)—Directed by Joss Whedon.
Stars Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Alan Tudyk, Morena Baccarin, Jewel Staite, Adam Baldwin, Ron Glass, Summer Glau, Sean Maher,
Chiwetel Ejiofor. Somehow Whedon managed to convince Universal to hand him $40 million to direct his first feature—a
big-screen spinoff of his failed TV series FIREFLY, which Fox cancelled before all of its twelve episodes could air.
I wish Whedon had made it a little user-friendlier, as I fear non-FIREFLY viewers may find it rough going. Characterization
is barely existent, and everyone talks in the same snarky, jokey manner that mark all Whedon productions (call it Buffy-speak).
Even though the film is staged much like a TV show, one can’t say Whedon didn’t get the most from his budget,
as SERENITY looks as rich as most features made at triple the cost. Fillion is the only cast member that stands out,
playing Malcolm Reynolds, an ex-soldier now in charge of his own spaceship (the Serenity) and a crew dedicated to fighting
the Alliance, a totalitarian government that has conquered Earth and its colonies. After discovering a secret that could
prove vital to his side’s cause, Mal and his crew fight both an Alliance assassin (Ejiofor) and a race of feral cannibal
zombie ninja called Reavers to broadcast it to the universe. Perhaps it all makes sense to a FIREFLY fan, but I found
much of SERENITY confusing and juvenile, albeit with occasional exciting scenes. Score by David Newman. Also with
David Krumholtz, Sarah Paulson and Tamara Taylor.
SERIAL (1980)--Directed by Bill Persky.
Stars Martin Mull, Tuesday Weld, Christopher Lee. Very few features made by sitcom directors are particularly memorable,
and I suppose you could say the same about the only film directed by Persky, whose stellar TV credits include THE DICK VAN
DYKE SHOW and THAT GIRL, which he created with his partner Sam Denoff. Also written by sitcom vets Rich Eustis and Michael
Elias from Cyra McFadden's novel, SERIAL is an intermittently funny satire of California trends and mores that was likely
as not dated the moment it first played in theaters. Taking place over a series of months in Marin County, SERIAL's
meandering storyline picks up its characters at various moments in their lives over that time during their many marriages
and divorces. From orgies to health food, marital infidelity to middle-age crazy, SERIAL packs a lot into its 86 minutes.
Mull delivers the funniest performance, providing the film with a solid anchor to comment wryly upon all the insanity surrounding
his family and friends. With Weld cast as Mull's tofu-loving wife, SERIAL trots out a long line of talented supporting
players, nearly all of whom scoring occasionally with the scattershot material: Bill Macy (MAUDE), Nita Talbot, Sally
Kellerman, Peter Bonerz (THE BOB NEWHART SHOW), Pamela Bellwood (W.E.B.), Barbara Rhoades, Tom Smothers and horror legend
Lee as a gay biker named Skull. Also with the delicious Stacey Nelkin, Clark Brandon, Jennifer McAllister, Sam Chew
Jr., Peter Horton, Rosana Soto and Billy Sands. Music by Lalo Schifrin.
SERIAL MOM (1993)--Directed
by John Waters. Stars Kathleen Turner, Sam Waterston, Suzanne Somers. In probably the most mainstream Waters feature, Turner
plays a normal suburban mom who becomes a serial killer, bumping off those unfortunate souls who have managed (even inadvertently)
to do one of her family members wrong. It's a pretty good cast, but Waters is an acquired taste, and I have to admit I haven't
acquired it yet. Also with Ricki Lake, Matthew Lillard, Justin Whalen, Traci Lords, Patty Hearst, Mink Stole and Joan Rivers.
Music by Basil Poledouris.
SERPENT ISLAND (1954)—Directed by Tom
Gries. Stars Sonny Tufts, Tom Monroe, Mary Munday. SERPENT ISLAND is only known today as the first screen credit
for editor/cinematographer Bert I. Gordon, who went on to become a prolific director of science fiction movies like THE AMAZING
COLOSSAL MAN, ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE and KING DINOSAUR. It takes exactly half of this 62-minute color cheapie to reach
the titular isle, which is inhabited by exactly one stock footage snake. Sonny Tufts is the lead, and the fact that Tufts
is in it tells you exactly the kind of movie it is.
The barrel-chested Tufts also narrates as Paul Mason, a boozy
sailor hired by Scranton secretary Ricki (Mary Munday) to join a sailboat crew headed for Haiti, where she hopes to find treasure
hidden by her great-grandfather 150 years ago. The captain is Kirk Ellis (Tom Monroe), Mason's archenemy, and the first half-hour
is a triple-hander showing the two men jostling for position as Ricki's favorite. Stock footage and story cliches inhabit
this mundane melodrama, which was also the film debut of writer/director Tom Gries, who graduated to television work and eventually
major Hollywood features such as WILL PENNY and BREAKHEART PASS.
SERPICO (1973)--Directed by Sidney Lumet. Stars
Al Pacino. There was no question of Pacino's impressive chops as a movie actor following his starmaking turn in THE GODFATHER
and, a year later, his electrifying portrayal of real-life antihero Frank Serpico. Based upon Peter Maas's best-selling non-fiction
book, SERPICO tells the story of an idealistic young New York City police officer who stands out from the rest of the force
in two respects. Number One is his idiosyncratic existence--he lives like a hippie in Greenwich Village, has long hair and
a beard, and wears funky clothes and an earring. Number Two is more frightening--Serpico is seemingly the only officer on
the force not on the take. Some just mooch free meals in exchange for ignoring parking violations; others add hundreds of
dollars a month to their income by shaking down gamblers and mobsters. Serpico becomes the department pariah because of his
refusal to take bribes, especially after he actively takes a stand against police corruption. Although mostly hampered by
his superiors and frequently threatened by his brother officers who dont want their gravy train derailed, Serpico slowly plugs
away at the leak, even cooperating with the New York Times on a fiery expose that embarrasses the brass.
Unfortunately,
SERPICO is as timely as ever, as stories of New York cops raping prisoners with broom handles and Los Angeles detectives planting
evidence hit the news with regularity. As directed by Lumet (DOG DAY AFTERNOON) and penned by Waldo Salt (MIDNIGHT COWBOY)
and Norman Wexler (JOE), SERPICO hits all the right notes, setting up an effective Man-against-the-System scenario and populating
it with colorful New York character actors. It takes place over a series of years, but doesn't seem awkwardly paced, and only
a pair of brief romantic subplots feels intrusive. Much like another excellent New York-set film ripped from the headlines,
ALL THE PRESIDENTS MEN, SERPICO works as both an insightful peek into American society and as a straight thriller. The real
Serpico was shot in the face under circumstances in which he may have been set up by other policemen, and Pacino does a remarkable
job illustrating the fear, pressure, intensity and burning righteousness of Serpico, as well as illuminating why such a man
would put himself on such a dangerous limb day after day.
Lumet called upon DEATH WISH cinematographer Arthur Ornitz
and BONNIE AND CLYDE editor Dede Allen to fashion a gritty, well-paced milieu for Serpicos adventures. By opening with Serpico
being wounded and telling the story in flashback, Lumet effectively sets up feelings of suspense (will he live or die?) and
nihilism. Shot almost entirely on actual NYC locations, SERPICO has a realistic, almost documentary feel that gives more weight
to the danger circling Pacino. Greek composer Mikis Theodorakis's (Z) sparse, operatic score is a standout. Among the large
supporting cast, Tony Roberts (PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM) registers strongly as one of the few top cops Serpico can trust, and the
reliable John Randolph (SECONDS) does a colorful job of convincing him to testify before the Knapp Commission, putting dozens
of cops behind bars and his own life in mortal danger. Also with Jack Kehoe, Biff McGuire, Cornelia Sharpe, Barbara Eda-Young,
Ed Grover, James Tolkan, Allan Rich, Alan North, M. Emmet Walsh, Judd Hirsch, Kenneth McMillan and F. Murray Abraham.
SESSION 9 (2001)--Directed by Brad Anderson.
Stars David Caruso, Stephen Gevedon, Peter Mullan, Brendan Sexton III, Josh Lucas. Genuinely spooky horror movie about
five contractors hired to refurbish a creepy old insane asylum in one week and the visions, obsessions and unhinging spirits
that affect them. Anderson and his co-writer Gevedon were lucky enough to find an actual abandoned state hospital in
Danvers, Massachusetts, one of the best locations for a horror movie I've ever seen and one that does a lot of Anderson's
work for him as far as unsettling his audience. The plot doesn't completely hold together, but the low-key performances
(CSI: MIAMI's Caruso is probably the only actor you'll recognize) and sense of dread kept my interest. Anderson shot
SESSION 9 on digital video, a format that unfortunately is distracting and cheap looking to those of us used to the grain
and texture of 35mm film. Paul Guilfoyle and Larry Fessenden also appear.
SEVEN (1979)--Directed by Andy Sidaris.
Stars William Smith. AIP released what is probably the least personal film of Sidaris' career, his second. Whereas
his first movie, STACEY!, was a straightforward action movie punctuated by occasional nude scenes, and his third, MALIBU EXPRESS,
would further hone the mixture of "boobs, bullets and bombs" that would make his 1980's softcore adventures staples of home
video and cable television, SEVEN is an elaborate adventure boasting a reasonably professional cast, a sprawling storyline
and lush Hawaiian locations. Don't worry though--it's still a Sidaris movie, and that means plenty of gorgeous top-heavy
women are on proud display.
Smith plays government agent Drew Savano, summoned to Hawaii to
stop an army of seven assassins who plan to take over the state by murdering its political leaders. Drew's plan is to
recruit his own army of seven and assign each member his or her own enemy to kill during a tight half-hour window two days
hence. Drew's wildly disparate crew includes a sexy helicopter pilot, a redneck, a scientific genius, a karate expert,
a jive-talking black guy and a stand-up comic. This plot also allows Sidaris to pay Smith for only a few days work,
since much screen time is handed over to each supporting character as they set up and enact their assassination plans.
The action scenes are typically Sidarisian, involving complex mechanical
gadgetry and exotic vehicles, as well as plenty of exploding blood packets and a silly-funky musical score. Smith seems
looser than usual, no doubt a result of a paid Hawaiian vacation and the presence of a pulchritudinous supporting cast of
ladies, including Susan Kiger (ANGELS' BRIGADE), Barbara Leigh (of Hammer's never-to-be VAMPIRELLA) and Carol Needham.
Also with Art Metrano, Guich Koock, Reggie Nalder, Terry Kiser, John Alderman, Christipher Joy, Nick Giorgiade, Lenny Montana,
Sidaris regular Richard LaPore, Seth Sakai, Kwan Hi Lim, Elvis' bodyguard Ed Parker (as Ed Parker), Charles Picerni and Martin
Kove. Originally intended by Sidaris to be a vehicle for Burt Reynolds, SEVEN received a script polish by television
vet Bill Driskill and financing from independent producer Melvin Simon (THE STUNT MAN).
SEVEN (1995)--Directed by David Fincher.
Stars Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey. Extremely gruesome thriller with an inventive script by Andrew
Kevin Walker and a terrific performance by Morgan Freeman as a lonely homicide detective with just days to go before his impending
retirement. Freeman and his new rookie partner (Pitt) are assigned to investigate a number of extremely brutal murders designed
to resemble the Seven Deadly Sins; for instance, an extremely obese man is forced to eat for hours until he literally explodes
(Gluttony). Director Fincher's second film--his first, ALIEN 3, was an unmitigated failure--is a successful mixture of style
and substance; his teeming metropolis is always seen through a brown fog of smog and rain. Even his interior scenes are brooding
and dimly lit. Film's greatest flaw is Pitt's miscasting. His character is cocky, unlikable and seemingly not too bright,
and his marriage to sweet, naive Paltrow is not entirely convincing. SEVEN is still an impressive thriller, and, while not
quite reaching the heights of the earlier film, is worthy of comparison to Jonathan Demme's Oscar-winning SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.
Also with John C. McGinley and Richard (SHAFT) Roundtree as the district attorney. Music by Howard Shore, who also scored
LAMBS.
SEVEN DAYS IN MAY (1964)--Directed by John Frankenheimer. Stars Kirk Douglas, Burt Lancaster,
Fredric March, Ava Gardner, Martin Balsam, Edmond O'Brien. One of Frankenheimer's best. Army officer Douglas discovers that
his boss (Lancaster), the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, is the mastermind behind a plot to overthrow the government
and conquer Russia. American president March plans to sign a disarmament treaty with the Russians, and he and Douglas race
against time to stop Lancaster's coup. A good cast--Lancaster is particularly creepy--and strong direction make this quite
a suspenseful thriller. Script by Rod Serling. Music by Jerry Goldsmith.
SEVEN HOURS TO JUDGMENT (1988)--Directed
by Beau Bridges. Stars Beau Bridges, Ron Leibman, Julianne Phillips. Bridges' second (after THE WILD PAIR) and
last feature as a director was this uneven thriller filmed in and under Seattle. After Judge John Eden (Bridges) is
forced to set free a street gang accused to fatally mugging a woman in the subway due to lack of evidence, the woman's husband,
a local electronics impresario named David Reardon (Leibman), kidnaps Eden's wife Lisa (Phillips) to his booby-trapped warehouse
and gives the judge seven hours to provide the evidence needed to convict the killers. Surprisingly, the evidence actually
exists, and Reardon knows where. It's waiting in the welcome hands of a rival gang; all Reardon/Eden has to do is to
come get it. I love the concept, but Bridges' clunky direction, Walter Davis and Elliot Stephens' improbable screenplay
and Leibman's hammy performance do little to enhance the suspense. While Leibman's abrasive screen persona is often
fun to watch, it's miscast here, since he's unable to bring out the frustration and sorrow in Reardon that would allow us
to sympathize with him. He's simply a facile madman, albeit an amazingly well-prepared one, able to string together
the world's most sophisticated surveillance system in just a few hours. It's unfortunate that Bridges is unable to provide
the tension the storyline promises, since the makings of a good suspense thriller are present. Also with Al Freeman
Jr., Reggie Johnson and Tiny Ron. Music by John Debney, whose first film was THE WILD PAIR. The two stars also
worked together in YOUR THREE MINUTES ARE UP and NORMA RAE.
THE SEVEN MAGNIFICENT GLADIATORS (1983)—Directed
by Bruno Mattei. Stars Lou Ferrigno, Sybil Danning, Brad Harris, Dan Vadis, Carla Ferrigno. Clumsy Italian director
Mattei remakes THE SEVEN SAMURAI as a sword-and-sandal picture. Evil rapist and pillager Nicerote (Vadis) and his gang
annually attack a village and slaughters most of its men and children. Nicerote’s mother, the blind queen in charge
of the village, gets tired of her jerk son, and sends some women into town to recruit warriors to fight for them. Among
the seven who chip in are honest gladiator Han (Ferrigno), his new partner Scipio (Harris) and bounty hunter Julia (Danning).
You know the rest of the plot. This is a very cheap and ugly-looking film, but the tried-and-true plot and goofy fight
scenes make it a Sunday-afternoon sleeper. Somehow, Big Lou managed to maintain a steady film career during the ‘80s,
even though there are few reasons he should have. Musclemen Harris and Vadis starred together and separately in dozens
of European action movie during the ‘60s and ‘70s.
SEVEN MEN FROM NOW (1956)—Directed by Budd
Boetticher. Stars Randolph Scott, Gail Russell, Lee Marvin, Walter Reed, Donald “Red” Barry. The first
of seven very good westerns Scott and Boetticher made together. After nearly 100 films, it wasn’t until Scott
approached the age of sixty when he hit his creative peak, ending his career with the Boetticher westerns and RIDE THE HIGH
COUNTRY, Sam Peckinpah’s elegiac oater. Former sheriff Stride (Scott) sets out from the town of Silver Springs
to track down the seven robbers who murdered his wife while stealing $20,000 from a Wells Fargo office. He blames himself
for her death, as she was only working because Stride was too proud to accept a job as the newly elected sheriff’s deputy.
En route to the robbers’ meeting place, Stride is joined by John (Reed) and Anne (Russell) Greer, newlyweds from the
East having a rough time traveling across the harsh desert, and Masters (Marvin) and Clete (Barry), ex-jailbirds from Stride’s
hometown who want the $20,000 for themselves. Boetticher’s Lone Pine locations serve as an appropriate backdrop
for both his lean shooting style and Scott’s taciturn performance. Russell is one of Hollywood’s great tragedies;
this was her first film after alcoholism drove her off the screen for five years. She made only a couple more after
this, and was soon dead at age 36. Also with John Larch, John Beradino, Pamela Duncan and Stuart Whitman. Made
by John Wayne’s Batjac production company.
THE SEVEN-UPS (1973)--Directed by Philip
D'Antoni. Stars Roy Scheider, Tony LoBianco, Richard Lynch, Larry Haines, Victor Arnold. Violent crime drama similar in style
to the previous year's THE FRENCH CONNECTION and directed by the producer of that Oscar-winning film. Tough New York cop Scheider
(getting the lead role after a Best Supporting Actor nomination for CONNECTION) heads an elite squad of detectives taking
on criminals whose offenses merit prison sentences of at least seven years. Film's highlight is an extended car chase that
almost equals CONNECTION's classic car-train chase.
THE SEVERED ARM (1973)—Directed by Thomas
S. Alderman. Stars Deborah Walley, Paul Carr, David G. Cannon, John Crawford, Marvin Kaplan, Vince Martorano, Ray Dannis.
Directed by Thomas S. Alderman, who doesn't appear to have made any films afterward, THE SEVERED ARM is a gruesome horror
film that anticipates many other, more famous slasher pics, such as HALLOWEEN (with its use of killer POV shots), FRIDAY THE
13TH (individuals picked off one by one by a madman waving a sharp object) and WHEN A STRANGER CALLS ("the caller is inside
the house"). I'm not saying that those films were influenced by THE SEVERED ARM or that Alderman invented these familiar
aspects of the horror genre, but their presence does add interest.
Six men are trapped inside a cave. Three weeks pass without
any of them eating a speck of food, and their water supply has just dried up. Jeff (Cannon), a television writer, suggests
they draw lots and the winners amputate and eat one of the loser's limbs to stay alive. Ted (Dannis) is the unlucky
loser, but seconds after his friends have sliced off his right arm, a rescue team arrives. Ted deliriously tells the
doctors what occurred, but the other five men explain that his arm was crushed in the accident and had to be amputated to
save his life. No one believes Ted's story, and he goes mad as a result. Five years later, Jeff receives a severed
arm in the mail, and he and his accomplices, who also include detective Mark (Carr), disc jockey Herman (Kaplan), contractor
Bill (Martorano) and doctor Ray (Crawford), are stalked by a killer with a hatchet. Has Ted left the mental institution
to gain revenge upon the men who drove him there?
Former Gidget actress Walley has top billing as Ted's daughter,
who teams up with Jeff and Mark to track down Ted before he can get to them. Although Teddy (the Walley character) is
initially depicted as not believing her father could be a killer, she seems unbelievably willing to help the men in their
plan to capture Ted, even to the point of serving as bait. THE SEVERED ARM is successful much of the time, mostly because
of Alderman's skill behind the camera, keeping it fluid and pointing at something interesting, even though he obviously wasn't
able to shoot many takes. It's a low-budget movie, but not fatally so. More money would probably have let Alderman
and co-screenwriter Darrel Presnell excise a couple of talky scenes and replace them with lengthier scare scenes. THE
SEVERED ARM is never quite as lurid as its title indicates, but it doesn't waste time with characterization and subplots,
and it builds to an effectively sick climax.
I'm pretty certain the print I saw was complete, but most DVDs on
the market are reportedly cut. Despite its R rating, THE SEVERED ARM is not a graphic movie, and although the cuts would
certainly harm the film, my guess is that it's still worth a viewing, so long as you aren't expecting anything like a masterpiece.
SEX AND BUTTERED POPCORN (1989)—Directed
by Sam Harrison. Stars Ned Beatty. Exploitation movies of the 1930s and 1940s are the subject of this entertaining
documentary, hosted by Beatty. Clips of pre-Hays Code sleazefests like MANIAC, MOM AND DAD, CHILD BRIDE and ASSASSIN
OF YOUTH provide campy entertainment, while the guys who produced and distributed them like carnival attractions, like David
F. Friedman and Dan Sonney, are interviewed. Truthfully, most of this material was covered better in 2001’s MAU
MAU SEX SEX, but the two still make for an intriguing double feature.
SEX DRIVE (2008)—Directed by Sean Anders.
Stars Josh Zuckerman, Amanda Crew, Clark Duke, Katrina Bowden. What happens when you clone the AMERICAN PIE formula and wrap
it around the plot of THE SURE THING? You get SEX DRIVE, a fitfully funny and frequently crude teen comedy starring Zuckerman
(KYLE XY) as Ian, a nice virgin who swipes his older brother’s cherry GTO and cruises from Chicago to Knoxville to hook
up with “Ms. Tasty” (30 ROCK’s Bowden), the hottie he chats with online. Along for the ride are his buddies
Lance (Duke), a pudgy hedonist, and Felicia (Crew), the platonic best friend whom he, of course, is in love with.
SEX DRIVE isn’t a spoof exactly, but Anders and writer John
Morris have fun tweaking the genre, particularly in the DVD’s unrated version, which retains the outtakes, complete
with camera pans to the giggling crew, and a gaggle of naked men and women who randomly stride past the camera with a virtual
wink to the audience. You haven’t seen this much scrotum in a movie since John Leslie worked regularly.
Anders is nothing if not confident. No gag is too ridiculous or
too disgusting, and the high-energy cast enjoys bouncing its way through a story that feels about 40 percent scripted and
60 percent screwing around on the set. Amish binge-drinking and cute girls who enjoy pooping in bed are among the “oh,
no, they didn’t” jokes that somehow draw, maybe not belly laughs, but strenuous titters. James Marsden (X-MEN)
as Ian’s older brother—a part clearly inspired by Seann William Scott’s Stifler in AMERICAN PIE—Brian
Posehn as a rude carny, and Seth Green as a party animal Amish mechanic score big in supporting roles.
The communal spirit extends all the way to the credits, which display
photos of the principal filmmakers with their title card. The downside of all this tomfoolery is that SEX DRIVE rambles on
for a ridiculous 130 minutes in its unrated cut. Sure, there are a lot of extra boobs in those minutes, but still… Also
with David Koechner, Alice Greczyn, Michael Cudlitz, and Dave Sheridan. Florida stands in for the Midwest. Songs by Fall Out
Boy, REO Speedwagon, Kenny Loggins, and Donovan.
THE SEX KILLER (1967)--Directed by Barry
Mahon. I don't even know who's in this awful nudie-cutie shot on location in New York City. A weirdo named Tony spies on nude
women sunbathing on the roofs of skyscrapers. He's supposed to be peering at them through binoculars, but Mahon keeps showing
us the action from angles from which Tony couldn't possibly be (and he sometimes edits from one shot to another). Tony later
steals a mannequin head from the mannequin factory where he works, takes it home, kisses it, and then starts strangling women.
It's in black-and-white, and runs only 55 minutes. Pretty funny stuff, if not necessarily exciting or coherent.
SFX RETALIATOR (1987)—Directed by Jun
Gallardo. Stars Chris Mitchum, Linda Blair, Gordon Mitchell, David Light. The first ripoff of F/X I’ve ever
seen has a title designed to make you think you’re getting a sci-fi movie like THE TERMINATOR. It’s actually
a typically insane Filipino crime movie that goes overboard on gunfire and nutty story twists and treads lightly on logic.
Movie special effects man Steve Baker (Mitchum) becomes accidentally involved in a mob war between Morgan (Mitchell) and Mancini
(Light) when he picks up a fleeing woman, Doris (Blair), carrying a briefcase full of money and being shot at by an army of
gangsters. Doris, Mancini’s moll, has just swiped a million bucks in cash from Morgan’s safe, and he wants
it back. Instead of forcing his way into Mancini’s mansion or kidnapping Doris, Morgan threatens Baker, an innocent
bystander, into recovering his money.
Recapping the plot further is a waste of time, because it doesn’t
make any sense anyway. Gallardo can’t even be bothered to decide whether his hero’s name is “Baker”
(which is what is written on the side of Steve’s tricked-out van, which contains hidden rockets and machine guns that
shoot at any pursuer, almost as though he knew in advance that he would stumble into a gang war) or “Becker” (which
even Mitchum inadvertently calls himself in a hilarious telephone interchange where he answers “Becker,” and the
villain at the other end asks, “Baker?”). This movie is in no way boring, as Gallardo (MASTER SAMURAI) rarely
lets more than four minutes go by without an action scene or a nude scene. I wonder if Gallardo is a protégé of Cirio
Santiago’s. The two filmmakers share some stylistic tendencies, including a desperate and unsuccessful need to
disguise the Philippines as Los Angeles.
SGT. KABUKIMAN N.Y.P.D. (1991)—Directed
by Michael Herz & Lloyd Kaufman. Stars Rick Gianisi, Susan Byun, Bill Weeden. Gianisi graduated from junky Tim Kincaid
movies to Troma with this dopey superhero flick. I guess Troma is a step up. I haven’t seen a Troma movie I’d
call good, but this one is more tasteful than most. Cop Harry Griswold (Gianisi) is possessed by an ancient Japanese spirit
that transforms him into a Kabuki-styled superhero who flies and throws sharpened chopsticks ninja-style. Shot in 1989 (you
can tell by the LOOK WHO’S TALKING and BLACK RAIN theater marquees), but not really released anywhere until 1996.
SGT. PEPPER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)--Directed
by Michael Schultz. Stars Peter Frampton, the Bee Gees, Frankie Howerd, Sandy Farina, George Burns, Steve Martin. An unbearably
stupid musical based on the Beatles' wonderful album of the same title. Even though there's no dialogue, Frampton and the
Brothers Gibb give performances that wouldn't make the cut of a high-school play audition. If your idea of a good time is
watching Martin do "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", then this film is for you. Besides the interminable Frampton and Bee Gees numbers,
Aerosmith does "Come Together", Billy Preston "plays" Billy Shears, and cameos include Leif Garrett (!), Tina Turner, Earth,
Wind & Fire, Johnny Rivers (!), Carol Channing, Helen Reddy, Alice Cooper, Peter Allen (!), Heart, Seals & Crofts
and Connie Stevens! Songs written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney and George Harrison. From the director of CAR WASH.
SH! THE OCTOPUS (1937)--Directed by William McGann. Stars Hugh Herbert, Allen Jenkins, Marcia Ralston,
John Eldredge, George Rosener. This very short (53 minutes) and very confusing (almost no one turns out to be whom he or she
initially claims) mystery/comedy is a definite guilty pleasure, and won't be admired by everyone. A pair of bumbling detectives,
Kelly (Herbert), whose wife is expecting a baby, and Dempsey (Jenkins) are summoned during a heavy rainstorm to a mysterious
lighthouse where they discover a dead body hanging from the top; a grizzled, hook-handed old salt appropriately named Captain
Hook (Rosener); a multitude of secret passages and trapdoors; numerous red herrings (you wouldn't believe how many strangers
will drop by an abandoned lighthouse during a torrential storm); an enemy submarine; and strange octopus tentacles that emerge
from hidden panels to snatch unsuspecting victims. As you can guess, a lot happens during the film's brief running time--Warner
Bros./First National was well-known for the fast pacing of its productions--and while most of it seems to make absolutely
no sense, all will be explained in the twist (and perhaps frustrating) ending. I happen to like the film's energy, chaotic
structure and the amusing (if old hat) performances by Herbert and Jenkins. The uncredited musical score is pretty lively,
and the direction and camerawork is often striking. Also with Brandon Tynan, Eric Stanley, Margaret Irving, Elspeth Dudgeon
and Mary Doyle. SH! THE OCTOPUS was McGann's only (borderline) horror movie.
THE SHADOW (1994)--Directed
by Russell Mulcahy. Stars Alec Baldwin, John Lone, Penelope Ann Miller. Slightly disappointing but still fun feature version
of the legendary pulp antihero The Shadow, who is in reality millionaire Lamont Cranston and has the ability to cloud men's
minds. In the '20s, The Shadow has to save New York City from being destroyed by an atom bomb controlled by his archenemy
Shiwan Khan (Lone). Baldwin is properly oily and heroic as Cranston, and it would have been nice to see him reprise the character
in sequels (THE SHADOW was not a hit). There are some neat visual effects (like an invisible skyscraper smack dab in the middle
of NYC), a nice Jerry Goldsmith score, and some slick direction by Mulcahy (HIGHLANDER). Also with Tim Curry, Peter Boyle,
Sir Ian McKellen and Jonathan Winters. Victor Jory and Kane Richmond had played The Shadow on film in the '40s. From Universal.
SHADOW CONSPIRACY (1997)--Directed by George
Pan Cosmatos. Stars Charlie Sheen, Donald Sutherland, Linda Hamilton, Sam Waterston. This foolish and cheap-looking
political thriller seems to have killed the directing career of master craftsman Cosmatos, whose successes include RAMBO:
FIRST BLOOD PART II and TOMBSTONE. Sheen is miscast as Bobby Bishop, a special assistant to the President of the United
States (Waterston) who becomes involved in a plot by underground government forces, including prominent political leaders
very close to the President, to assassinate the Chief Executive and set up their own agenda from the White House. Bishop
spends most of the film on the run, along with a pretty newspaper reporter (Hamilton), wondering which of his friends and
colleagues, including the paternal Chief of Staff (Sutherland), he can trust. Cosmatos assembles a great cast, including
Stephen Lang as a chilling assassin, Ben Gazzara, Terry O'Quinn, Paul Gleason, Nicholas Turturro, Theodore Bikel, Charles
Cioffi and Gore Vidal, but leaves them wiggling with an unbelievable plot and an absurd climax that involves chasing the President
with a radio control helicopter rigged with machine guns! Good score by Bruce Broughton.
SHADOW FORCE (1993)—Directed by Ken Lamkin.
Stars Dirk Benedict, Lise Cutter, Lance LeGault, Glenn Corbett. This tired crime drama likely went straight to video,
though I guess I can imagine it playing on a couple of (tiny) screens at a Texas multiplex. It’s lifeless, including
the lead performance by formerly colorful TV hero Benedict (THE A-TEAM). Dirk is Rick, who arrives in a small Texas
town to investigate the murder of his brother-in-law (Corbett), a local cop. Turns out the police chief (LeGault) hires
out his officers as paid assassins, letting them take vacation days to travel to San Antonio and shoot down a D.A. or anyone
else who needs killing. With the help of a local reporter (Cutter) who’s dating one of the hitmen, Dirk brings
down the whole force using lethargic action scenes and obvious plotting. Vets Jack Elam, Larry Hovis and Bob Hastings
make welcome appearances. Benedict and LeGault worked together often on THE A-TEAM. Corbett was already dead of
lung cancer by the time his last movie came out. Lamkin, also the cinematographer, used the pseudonym “Darrell
Davenport.”
SHADOW MAN (2006)—Directed by Michael Keusch.
Stars Steven Seagal. SHADOW MAN is the third Steven Seagal film of 2006 and his 14th this decade. With the exception
of a couple of brief stabs at a renewed big-screen stardom with action movies that didn't exactly light up the box office
(EXIT WOUNDS, HALF PAST DEAD), Seagal has become one of the busiest direct-to-video stars in the world. Actually, "busiest"
isn't quite an accurate description. "Prolific"...okay, but I don't know about "busy." You see, in most of Seagal's DTV features,
his various doubles end up doing more than their fair share of his work. Watching these movies can be a surreal experience,
because their lackadaisical shooting styles and haphazard editing--director's stumbling blocks mandated by Seagal's barely-there
approach to his job--pull your attention away from the story.
SHADOW MAN is a good example. Pay attention to the many scenes in
which Seagal's character is having a conversation with somebody, but the entire scene consists of closeups. That's because
Steve only showed up long enough to film his closeups, cheating the director out of shooting much-needed coverage (two-shots,
master, etc.). Plus, the lighting is often out of sync, because the cinematographer has chosen dark shadows to mask Seagal's
paunchy, pasty face and obvious dark hairpiece. As well, Seagal barely participates in the many action scenes, allowing a
stuntman to perform not just dangerous shots, but relatively tame fights as well, as if the star just couldn't be bothered.
He doesn't use doubles just in action scenes either, but also routine shots of his character walking, driving, sitting. If
you can't see the character's face, it isn't Seagal, and there is a lot of footage of the back of somebody's head in SHADOW
MAN.
Another detriment plaguing Seagal's DTV movies, but not so much
this one, is his laziness when it comes to ADR work. He apparently has little interest in looping his dialogue, so many Seagal
features jar your ear with lines that are clearly spoken by an actor who sounds about as much like Seagal as Elmer Fudd does.
In one (I think it's SUBMERGED), Seagal plays a Louisianan with a Cajun accent. Sometimes. Sometimes Seagal uses the accent,
sometimes not. Sometimes the actor dubbing him uses one, sometimes not, leading to a schizophrenic listening experience.
SHADOW MAN is not a very good film and quite typical of Seagal's
recent output. Once again, he's a government agent in Europe (these movies are almost always filmed in Eastern Europe, Romania
in this case) who wants revenge on the bad guys who kidnapped his daughter. His father-in-law (Seagal's character, Jack Foster,
is a widower) has unknowingly planted on Jack a microdot containing a nerve gas formula that he plans to sell to the highest
bidder, likely one with sinister motives. Both enemy operatives and the CIA keep trying to kill Jack to retrieve the nerve
gas, while all he wants to do is rescue his daughter, who was snatched from the Bucharest airport by a large-breasted cabby
who can't act.
Director Michael Keusch helms with a shaky, unsure hand, and his
action sequences are often confusing. Surprisingly, Seagal didn't get more involved in this one, as he also takes credits
for producing and writing. Maybe he wrote his own dialogue, since it doesn't sound like anyone else's. However, he isn't trying
very hard to carve out a performance, and you would think he would take some delight in reciting lines he had written himself.
Seagal reportedly has four more movies set to come out in the next
18 months. I'm mostly looking forward to THE UNTITLED ONION MOVIE, in which he portrays a character known at this juncture
only as Cock Puncher.
SHAFT (1971)--Directed by Gordon Parks. Stars
Richard Roundtree, Moses Gunn, Charles Cioffi, Lawrence Pressman, Gwenn Mitchell. It's one of the most iconic openings in
movie history: black private dick John Shaft strutting through Times Square like he owned it to the accompaniment of Isaac
Hayes's Academy Award-winning theme, cymbals and wah-wah guitar and Hayes's proclamation of Shaft as a cat who won't cop out,
even when danger's all about. It's nearly impossible to overestimate this film's influence on '70s cinema. Propelled by the
confident direction of Gordon Parks, a former LIFE photographer who, two years earlier, had become the first black man to
direct a major studio feature (THE LEARNING TREE), and the smooth charisma of its star, 28-year-old Richard Roundtree in his
first major role, SHAFT was the forerunner of all the Slaughters, Superflys and Truck Turners that followed, kicking off the
short-lived blaxploitation explosion that turned actors like Roundtree, Hayes, Fred Williamson, Jim Brown and Pam Grier into
box-office superstars.
Structurally, SHAFT is nothing more than a seedy private eye yarn, sort of East Coast Raymond
Chandler. The screenplay is in fact based upon a novel by Ernest Tidyman, the Oscar-winning scripter of THE FRENCH CONNECTION,
who collaborated on SHAFT with TV veteran John D.F. Black. After roughing up a couple of cats in his office and tossing one
through a window to his death, Shaft is visited by Bumpy Jonas (Gunn), an uptown mobster whose daughter Marcy has been kidnapped.
Bumpy says he believes a group of black militants, led by Shaft's childhood friend Ben Buford (Christopher St. John), to be
responsible. Trailing Buford to a rundown Harlem tenement, Shaft is nearly wasted in a machine-gun attack that kills the rest
of Buford's squad. He's pulled in for questioning by his white cop friend and adversary Lt. Vic Androzzi (Charles Cioffi),
who informs him that several Mafia hitmen have entered New York City and are holding Marcy captive in a Greenwich Village
hotel room. From there, it's Shaft against the Mob in a last-chance action rescue.
"You wanna play your Super Heavy
Black number?" Androzzi asks Shaft at one point. And indeed he does; Shaft is black and proud of it. Looking supercool in
his leather coat and black turtleneck, Shaft is, like a classic Bogart detective, furiously independent, but for all his toughness
and style, he must still suffer the indignity of being passed over by a taxicab in favor of a well-dressed white man ("You
white muther!", he shouts in frustration). Roundtree, a former model who attended college at Southern Illinois University,
is a truly magnetic screen presence, and is always completely believable trading racial epithets with mobsters, punches with
punks or kisses with the ladies.
Technically, SHAFT is surprisingly crude for a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer release. Cinematographer
Urs Furrer's camerawork is frequently jerky and overly reliant on zooms, while the looping of Roundtree's dialogue has the
feel of a Japanese monster movie. This, oddly enough, often works to the film's benefit; shooting during the winter of 1971,
Parks takes full advantage of the gritty milieu, setting the action in some of the Big Apple's starkest--and most realistic--locations.
SHAFT is beginning to show its age all right--and not just in its wardrobe; its portrayal of women wouldn't have found
favor with the National Organization of Women even then--but it still stands as not only an important entry in the history
of black cinema, but also as a solid and exciting thriller in its own right. Can ya dig it? Followed by two sequels (SHAFTS
BIG SCORE and SHAFT IN AFRICA) and a short-lived TV show.
SHAFT (2000)--Directed by John Singleton.
Stars Samuel L. Jackson, Christian Bale, Jeffrey Wright, Toni Collette, Richard Roundtree. Black private dick John Shaft is
back in action, and even though he's no longer a sex machine to all the chicks, he's still mighty cool. Clad in black Armani
leather and usually accompanied by the wah-wah sound of Isaac Hayes's iconic Oscar-winning theme song, this Shaft, as portrayed
by Jackson, doesn't have the silky charm of original Shaft Roundtree (who's back in an extended cameo as Jackson's Uncle John
Shaft) or the historical weight of a new cinematic trend of proud, black, take-charge action heroes on his shoulders, but
there's no mistaking his presence and toughness, and I can think of no better contemporary star to step into Roundtree's threads.
The new Shaft is an NYPD detective in charge of investigating the murder of a young black man outside of a trendy
club. The killer is a smarmy young preppie racist named Walter Wade Jr. (Bale), who claims he was acting in self-defense and
what does it matter since his old man is one of the city's richest and most powerful men. The only witness, jittery waitress
Diane Palmieri (Collette, Oscar-nominated for THE SIXTH SENSE), claims to have seen nothing, but she's obviously been threatened.
Shaft, who's always being urged by Uncle John to quit battling The System and join him in his private detective agency, reaches
his boiling point when Wade is granted a low bail and, soon thereafter, skips the country. Two years later, Wade returns to
New York, and is recaptured by Shaft. When the spoiled rich kid is again allowed back on the street, Shaft resigns from the
force (by tossing his badge like a ninja's throwing star into the courtroom wall), and vows to bring Wade to justice in his
own way. At the same time, Wade and vicious Hispanic druglord Peoples Hernandez (Wright) reach an uneasy alliance, and, teaming
with a pair of corrupt cops, set out to murder Diane before she can testify.
The screenplay by Richard Price (CLOCKERS),
Shane Salerno (ARMAGEDDON) and Singleton is not quite as focused as it should be, probably because of on-set squabbles among
Price, Singleton, Jackson (who allegedly didn't like much of Price's dialogue) and co-producer Scott Rudin, who reportedly
demanded that Shaft be a member of the police force in order to ward off charges of vigilantism and eradicated any love interest
from the script as well. Whereas the 1971 SHAFT broke new ground in showing a sexually active black hero--sometimes with white
women--the new SHAFT is a definite step backwards, and except for a brief flirtation with a bartender, Jackson is sadly asexual.
Where SHAFT really comes to life is in the electric action sequences, including a neat foot chase through a seedier section
of the city and an especially brutal shootout sequence complete with bloody squibs, and in the performances.
Jackson
is a badass, no doubt about it, and registers strongly in the few scenes where compassion and sensitivity are needed. He's
also adept at tossing off the several one-liners demanded by contemporary action-movie audiences ("It's my duty to please
the booty."). Wright practically steals the picture from Jackson--which ain't easy--as the self-mutilating, English-language-butchering
Peoples, who oozes odiousness while wisely not overplaying into parody (think Pacino in SCARFACE). Bale is rightfully hateful
in a role not far removed from his AMERICAN PSYCHO, while Roundtree makes the best of his few scenes, still showcasing his
particular brand of cool and even getting busy with not one, but two, young foxes. If there's a sequel, I hope Roundtree's
part is expanded, since he and Jackson have a good rapport, and there are many story possibilities that could be explored
in their on-screen partnership.
Wisely, the filmmakers called upon Isaac Hayes to contribute a re-recording of his
classic theme, and he was smart enough not to mess around with it, whereas another composer may have been tempted to turn
it into a rap number or something else more contemporary. Composer David Arnold, whose TOMORROW NEVER DIES score was a marvelous
mesh of '90s sensibilities and John Barry homages, goes retro with his SHAFT score as well, and uses the familiar Hayes theme
to punctuate Jackson's action. The familiar supporting cast includes Busta Rhymes, Dan Hedaya and Ruben Santiago-Hudson as
the corrupt cops, Vanessa L. Williams as Shafts partner, Philip Bosco, Josef Sommer, Lee Tergesen, an odd unbilled bit by
Gloria Reuben (ER), pro football player Lawrence Taylor and original SHAFT director Gordon Parks as "Mr. P".
SHAFT
IN AFRICA (1973)--Directed by John Guillermin. Stars Richard Roundtree, Frank Finlay, Vonetta McGee, Frank McRae.
Super-smooth private eye John Shaft (Roundtree) ditches the mean streets of New York for the deserts of Ethiopia in this attempt
to turn Sam Spade, as Shaft refers to himself, into James Bond. Recruited by African royalty to stop Parisian businessman
Amafi (Finlay) from smuggling slaves into France, Shaft is trained in the native language by the Emir's beautiful daughter
Aleme (McGee) and in stickfighting by his bodyguard Osiat (McRae). All of Shaft's tutoring is a waste of time, however, after
he's betrayed by one of the Emir's assistants, and is targeted for murder before he even reaches Africa. In fact, the rest
of the film mainly consists fish-out-of-water Shaft, still attempting his cover as an itinerant slave, dodging bullets, hitmen
and nymphomaniacs across the desert and deep beneath a former Nazi stronghold located just outside Paris.
Although
the film differs from SHAFT and SHAFT'S BIG SCORE in terms of setting and approach (obviously influenced by the 007 franchise),
SHAFT IN AFRICA doesn't suffer at all in its trade of urban grit for epic storytelling. Guillermin, who filmed TARZAN'S GREATEST
ADVENTURE in Africa, does a fine job with cinematographer Marcel Grignon capturing the beauty of the continent, although none
of the local characters are really given a chance to shine. The script by Sterling Silliphant (IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT) ably
strings together a series of well-filmed action sequences, while allowing Roundtree to spout off some wry one-liners. Roundtree
is quite smooth and relaxed in his third go-round as Shaft, a role he would continue in a short-lived CBS television series
and reprise in the 2000 remake starring Samuel L. Jackson, but of the remaining cast members, only Finlay has a chance to
register by investing his foppish slaver with more than a touch of kinkiness. Johnny Pate provides the funky musical score,
while The Four Tops perform the theme, "Are You Man Enough?", which reached #15 on the Billboard chart. Also with Neda Arneric,
Debebe Eshetu, Spiros Focas and Cy Grant.
SHAFT'S BIG SCORE (1972)--Directed by Gordon Parks, Sr.
Stars Richard Roundtree, Moses Gunn, Julius H. Harris, Joe Santos, Joseph Mascolo. Shaft is back and as bad as ever as he
is hired to recover $250,000 stolen by an Italian mobster (Mascolo). Not as stylish as the original, but it contains more
violence, and the action-filled climax seems to go on forever.
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