This could have been a really good thriller in the hands of a director like William Lustig (who made VIGILANTE with Forster), but Meisel handles the material very awkwardly.  The sound and camerawork are often quite amateurish, and the low budget doesn't help--one scene set in a fancy restaurant was obviously filmed in a corner of somebody's kitchen.  Surprisingly, the performances are quite good; Forster in particular captures the conflict of a man reluctantly forced into action to help a complete stranger.  Some of the interplay between Forster and Kwan and Forster and A Martinez as his friend seems improvised, although it could be a product of Curt Allen's economical script.  Whatever the source of Forster's dialogue, WALKING THE EDGE is a prime example of an actor refusing to walk his way through a project beneath his talent.  It's a film that is as good as it is because of him.  Also with Aarika Wells, Wayne Woodson and James McIntire.  Music by Jay Chattaway.  Allen penned Forster's directorial debut, HOLLYWOOD HARRY.

WALL STREET (1987)--Directed by Oliver Stone. Stars Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, Daryl Hannah, Martin Sheen, Hal Holbrook, Terence Stamp. Douglas won a Best Actor Oscar as corrupt Wall Street financier Gordon Gekko, who leads young stockbroker Charlie Sheen into his web of deceit. Charlie is enjoying the good life with money, an expensive apartment and beautiful blonde Hannah, but when Douglas goes after the airline employing Sheen's father (real-life father Martin) in order to tear it apart, Charlie has a stroke of conscience. Good slick direction by Stone, and an entertaining scene stealing turn by Douglas.

WEST OF SHANGHAI (1937)--Directed by John Farrow.  Stars Boris Karloff, Ricardo Cortez, Douglas Wood, Gordon Oliver, Sheila Bromley, Beverly Roberts.  Karloff is wonderful as the charismatic General Wu Yen Fang, a warlord who takes over a Chinese outpost and holds several Americans as hostage, including financiers Galt (Wood) and Creed (Cortez); Galt's daughter (Bromley); oil man Hallet (Oliver); and missionary Jane (Roberts), Creed's wife who's in love with Hallet, but doesn't believe in divorce.  Briskly directed by Farrow (who had just married Maureen O'Sullivan) and featuring some very fluid editing and camerawork, SHANGHAI is an entertaining Warner Brothers B-picture that rests on the shoulders of Karloff, a horror icon who was having trouble finding work during the horror drought of the late 1930's.  Fang ("I am Fang.") may be a murderer, an egotist and a warmonger, but he also has a sense of humor and a great dignity about him.  Richard Loo has some fine deadpan moments as Fang's aide-de-camp.  Also with Vladimir Sokoloff and Gordon Hart.  A remake of THE BAD MAN. 

WESTWORLD (1973)--Directed by Michael Crichton. Stars Richard Benjamin, James Brolin, Yul Brynner. Pretty good thriller written by Crichton about an adult amusement park called Westworld, where visitors dress up in costumes and live out their western fantasies with incredibly realistic robot gunfighters, bartenders, prostitutes, etc. The robots are designed to serve the customer's every whim, but when a black-clad robot gunfighter (Brynner) goes haywire and kills Brolin, the meek Benjamin must run for his life. Great premise. Brynner is menacing in a silent role. Also with Alan Oppenheimer, Dick Van Patten, Victoria Shaw and Steve Franken. Crichton's first film. Peter Fonda starred in the sequel FUTUREWORLD.

WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER (2001)--Directed by David Wain. Stars Janeane Garofalo, David Hyde Pierce, Michael Showalter, Marguerite Moreau, Christopher Meloni, Paul Rudd. This fun homage to '80s teen sex comedies like MEATBALLS and SCREWBALLS received a limited theatrical release in the late summer of '01, but deserved a larger audience. Wain and producer/star Showalter, who also combined on the screenplay, are former members of The State, an improv group that had its own series on MTV for awhile, and much of WET HOT's humor is rooted in the same absurdist sketch humor vein.

It's the last day of summer camp, 1981. Everyone at Camp Firewood is gearing up for one more day (and night) of fun before leaving his or her new camp friends behind for another year. Sunny camp director Beth (Garofalo) hopes to put the moves on a jittery astrophysicist (Hyde Pierce) trying to prevent Skylab from plunging onto the rec center during the camp talent show, while teenage counselor Coop (Showalter) yearns for his creamy crush Katie (Moreau), who's more into the narcissistic but handsome hunk lifeguard (Rudd) who treats her like dirt. The goofiest character is Gene (Meloni), the whacked-out Vietnam vet camp cook with penchants for kinky sex and talking to canned vegetables. Seeing the intense star of LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT and OZ hamming it up this way was a shock to my system, but he made me laugh consistently.

WET HOT's problem is that it plays too much like improvisational sketch comedy. What Wain and Showalter should have done was taken all of their ideas, whittled away the ones that didn't work, and tightened everything into a full script before shooting. Too much of the film has the feel of everybody showing up and "winging it", which is not the way to do filmed comedy. It's not a bad movie, and the funniest bits are the most absurd--the motorcycle "chase", the field trip into town, the obviously 30-year-old teen counselors, the Skylab concept and Meloni. If you're able to key in to Wain and Showalter's style, you should be able to milk a few laughs, but their sense of humor is indeed an acquired taste. Other State members appearing are Michael Ian Black (ED), Ken Marino and Joe LoTruglio, alongside supporting actors Molly Shannon (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE), Zak Orth, Amy Poehler, Marisa Ryan, Bradley Cooper, Elizabeth Banks and A.D. Miles, who's good as Meloni's straight man.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A NAKED LADY? (1970)--Directed by Allen Funt.  Stars Allen Funt, Richard Roundtree.  Funt took his successful television program CANDID CAMERA (which had begun on radio in 1948 as CANDID MICROPHONE) to the movies, back in the days when onscreen nudity was still unusual in mainstream cinema.  Using the same hidden camera and cinema verite tricks, Funt, unencumbered by TV network standards and practices, humorously shows us how people react to unusual or embarrassing situations involving sex and nudity.  For instance, you'd be surprised how reluctant many regular, red-blooded heterosexual men are to comply with a beautiful young woman's on-the-street request to kiss her.  Or how easily guys will go along with the crowd when they find themselves in a room with four strangers who wordlessly get undressed in front of them. 

It's not all comedy, though.  Many of the film's best sections consist of people talking about sex, whether it's a plain-looking prostitute speaking freely to Funt about her profession, a group of promiscuous teenagers recounting their first sexual experiences (as young as age 11) or an auditioning actress eager to strip for the camera.  Funt even interviews his own test audiences to get their views on the more permissive era of the late 1960s.  NAKED LADY works as both a humorous take on sexual mores and a fascinating social document of one of America's most turbulent periods, thanks mostly to Funt's curious mind and genial demeanor, which prevents his often embarrassing jokes from turning out cruel or mean-spirited.  Look closely to spot future SHAFT Roundtree as one-half of an interracial couple.  NAKED LADY originally received an X rating from the MPAA, presumably because of its male nudity, but was later downgraded to an R.  Steve Karmen provides the catchy soft-rock tunes.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (1963)--Directed by Robert Aldrich. Stars Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Victor Buono. Grand Guignol-style horror influenced a whole slew of late-'60s thrillers starring over-the-hill movie actresses (including Davis and Crawford). Bette and Joan play former Hollywood child stars whose careers came to an end after Crawford was crippled in a car accident blamed on her sister Bette. The two sisters hate each other, but also need each other to survive since Joan owns the mansion in which they live reclusively, but is also an invalid who must be cared for by Bette, who was nominated for an Academy Award. So was Buono in his film debut as a twenty-something mama's boy who answers Bette's ad for a musical accompanist. Shot in glorious black-and-white, there's a glorious twist ending, sumptuous sets and, of course, plenty of scenery-chewing. Real-life sisters Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave had the leads in a 1991 made-for-TV remake with John Glover in the Buono role.

WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? (2000)--Directed by Mike Nichols. Stars Garry Shandling, Annette Bening, Greg Kinnear, Ben Kingsley, Linda Fiorentino, John Goodman. As hard as it may be to believe, this feature from director Mike Nichols (THE GRADUATE) is not the world's first to feature noisy genitalia. In 1987, Griffin Dunne (AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON) appeared in ME AND HIM, in which his character's talking penis got him into all kinds of comedic situations, and in the 1977 AIP cult classic CHATTERBOX, Candice Rialson played a beautician whose chattering...uh, you know...also sang Neil Sedaka songs! Either would probably be more interesting than WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?, which opens promisingly with amusing scenes of aliens learning sex education, but fails to capitalize on the satirical potential of its plot.

On a distant planet three solar systems away from Earth that's completely inhabited by males, one (THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW's Shandling in his first feature lead) is selected to travel to our planet to prepare it for an invasion. Although the screenplay neglects to tell us why this is so, the way to dominate Earth is by impregnating one of our women, but since the technologically advanced population of their planet has suppressed all emotion to the point their sex organs have disappeared, Shandling is supplied with an artificial penis with one small bug in the system: it hums like a rusty Cuisinart whenever he becomes aroused. It's a potentially funny idea, but since the characters seem to accept a humming penis with surprising ease, that idea is left to die on the vine, and the running gag wears out its welcome.

Posing as a Phoenix banker named Harold Anderson, Shandling begins putting the make on every woman he bumps into, since the sooner he can knock one up, the sooner he can complete his mission and return home. While scoping chicks at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with his sleazy co-worker Perry (Greg Kinnear, playing amusingly against type), Harold meets Susan (Annette Bening), who has pledged not to have sex again until she's married. In the meantime, Harold is pursued by a Javert-like FAA investigator (John Goodman) and Perry's sexpot wife (Linda Fiorentino in a sadly brief role).

With its smirking sex jokes and casual nudity, WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? closely resembles a British CARRY ON comedy of the 1970s, but instead of slapstick, Nichols's film seems to want to aim higher. The subjects of male-female relationships, marriage, sex and fatherhood are prime targets for satire, but the script, which was pasted together by four writers (including Shandling), doesn't explore its comic possibilities deeply enough. There are a few hearty bellylaughs--Ben Kingsley's demise is particularly hilarious--but not enough to recommend the movie, especially considering the pedigree of its makers. Bening manages to turn her character into a well-rounded individual, but everyone else is simply a caricature, and Fiorentino's character is so underused, she might as well have not even been in the movie.

On the other hand, I'm always on the lookout for something in the movies that I've never seen before, and Shandling explaining away his loudly vibrating organ to a one-night stand as rush hour traffic certainly qualifies. Also with Nora Dunn, Ann Cusack, Camryn Manheim, Janeane Garofolo and Stacey Travis. Music by Carter Burwell.

WHAT'S UP, DOC? (1972)--Directed by Peter Bogdanovich.  Stars Barbra Streisand, Ryan O'Neal, Kenneth Mars, Madeline Kahn, Austin Pendleton.  Not one but two McGuffins propel the plot of Bogdanovich’s screwball comedy, meant to echo Leo McCarey and Frank Capra farces of the 1930s.  Meek music professor O’Neal, in San Francisco with his insufferable fiancé Kahn (making her film debut) to compete for a grant, is waylaid by a fast-talking, free-spirited waif (Streisand) who ingratiates herself into his life by invading his hotel and posing as Kahn during a swanky dinner party.  Meanwhile, foreign agents chase each other in pursuit of top secret government papers, and the hotel’s clerk and house detective attempt to swipe a fortune in jewels, both booties being carried in plaid carrying cases identical to each other and to the cases holding O’Neal’s rock collection and Streisand’s undies.  Yep, four identical suitcases to keep your eyes on while you’re following the rapid repartee among the gifted cast and a wacky San Francisco car chase.  Heavyweights Buck Henry, Robert Benton and David Newman crafted the expert screenplay, which Bogdanovich directs at a blistering pace.  Bogdanovich went on to work with O’Neal again in PAPER MOON and NICKELODEON.

WHEELS OF FIRE (1984)--Directed by Cirio H. Santiago. Stars Gary Watkins, Laura Banks, Lynda Wiesmeier, Joe Mari Avellana, Linda Grovenor. If you ever see the trailer for this Filipino ROAD WARRIOR ripoff hidden at the end of Prism’s BARBARIAN QUEEN VHS, you’ll be unable to resist tracking down this post-apocalyptic action movie. It isn’t as great as its trailer, but it’s pretty fun and certainly not dull. It’s practically wall-to-wall chases, fights, and shootouts in Santiago’s trademark desert. The music credited to Christopher Young (SPIDER-MAN 3) was recycled in BARBARIAN QUEEN and WARRIORS OF THE LOST KINGDOM. Gibson-esque hero Trace (Watkins) is forced to kill a lot of bad guys after they kidnap his top-heavy sister Arlie (Wiesmeier), strap her topless to the hood of a car, and take her back to their desert hideout to be gang-raped. Yeah, Trace is pretty pissed about that, which is why it’s always handy to carry a large flamethrower in your souped-up muscle car. This is a weird one with a mute midget, a psychic (Grovenor), and a tribe of underground albino mutants. Avellana, who appeared in the first two Manila-lensed BLOODFIST movies, is one oily bastard as gangleader Scourge. Watkins, who looks a little like Michael Nouri, isn’t too bad at this sort of thing, but still didn’t have much of a career.

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979)--Directed by Fred Walton. Stars Charles Durning, Carol Kane, Tony Beckley. A thoroughly routine cop-chases-serial-killer movie bookended by a truly chilling opening and closing. Kane plays a teenage babysitter who receives mysterious phone calls from a psycho begging her to check on the children. After this virtuoso beginning that climaxes in the capture of a dangerous serial killer, the film jumps ahead nine years to the escape of the murderer (Beckley, who died the year after this was released) and the obsessive cop (Durning) who arrested him the first time. Walton's career never lived up to the expectations resulting from his feature debut; 14 years later he actually made a sequel to this (starring Durning and Kane) for cable. While the film's structure is slightly uneven, it does feature some very good acting, and the scare scenes are reminiscent of John Carpenter's work in HALLOWEEN. Also with Colleen Dewhurst, Carmen Argenziano and Ron ONeal. Music by Dana Kaproff.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY... (1989)--Directed by Rob Reiner. Stars Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Bruno Kirby, Carrie Fisher. Can men and women just be friends without sex getting in the way? That's the question raised here by director Reiner and screenwriter Nora Ephron. Harry (Crystal) and Sally (Ryan) meet as college students, and stay friends through the years, which include marriages and divorces. They eventually fall in love. Kirby and Fisher provide excellent support as the couple's married friends. Reiner's successful attempt at making a Woody Allen movie; he even uses old jazz tunes on the soundtrack. Many good lines and scenes; highlight is Ryan's restaurant demonstration of a fake orgasm.

WHEN JUSTICE FAILS (1998)--Directed by Allan A. Goldstein.  Stars Jeff Fahey, Marlee Matlin.  Montreal uncomfortably doubles for New York City in this inept thriller modeled after BASIC INSTINCT.  Cop Tom Chaney (Fahey) investigates a series of vigilante killings and begins to suspect a feisty prosecuting attorney, Katy (Matlin), who also happens to be deaf and dumb.  Katy has a secret double life, strapping herself into tight leather outfits and cruising dance clubs after dark, where she first seduces Chaney.  Oddly, for a film that acts like an erotic thriller, there's no sex in it; rather a series of poorly conceived domestic scenes that alternately present Tom and Katy in love (immediately after hooking up for the first time) and breaking up.  JUSTICE begins as a police procedural, but the mystery angle disappears about halfway through, and a good sign of this film's success is that I spotted the plot's crucial clue early in the film, but chalked it up to a mistake by the filmmakers.  I figured it was too clever and too subtle for a film this inept.  Fahey is fine, and Matlin makes the most of a rare opportunity for her to be sexy in a film.  Also with Carl Marotte and Chuck Shamata.

WHEN MICHAEL CALLS (1971)--Directed by Philip Leacock.  Stars Ben Gazzara, Michael Douglas, Elizabeth Ashley.  This creepy Canadian-lensed TV-movie sputters to a predictable climax, but still manages a few chills.  Divorcee Helen Connelly (Ashley) begins receiving mysterious late-night telephone calls from her seven-year-old nephew Michael, the brother of local boys' school headmaster Craig (Douglas).  Funny thing is, Michael died in a blizzard fifteen years before, so who's making the calls?  Helen is convinced the caller's voice is Michael's, which leads her lawyer ex-husband Doremus (Gazzara) to begin investigating, especially after her small town is beset by strange murders.  It's no classic, but MICHAEL is a worthy peer to a whole slew of effective made-for-TV horror films of the 1970's, especially in its stark Canadian setting and exemplary cast.  Douglas wouldn't start on THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO for another year.  Also with Al Waxman, Karen Pearson and Larry Reynolds.  Music by Lionel Newman.  James Bridges (THE PAPER CHASE) adapted a novel by John Ferris (THE FURY).

WHEN TIME RAN OUT (1980)--Directed by James Goldstone. Stars Paul Newman, Jacqueline Bisset, William Holden, Red Buttons. Newman appears in another stupid Irwin Allen disaster movie! An erupting volcano and a tidal wave trash Hawaii! Ernest Borgnine, James Franciscus, Burgess Meredith, Alex Karras and Barbara Carrera are in deep ca-ca. This just about put a merciful end to Hollywood's disaster movie genre.

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE (1951)--Directed by Rudolph Mate. Stars Richard Derr, Barbara Rush, Larry Keating, John Hoyt. End-of-the-world drama shot in Technicolor with Oscar-winning visual effects. This George Pal production details the construction of a spaceship that will carry a handful of survivors to safety when the Earth is destroyed in a collision with the star Bellus. When the world's impending annihilation is first discovered by astronomer Keating, he isn't believed, but he convinces a cruel and crippled millionaire (Hoyt) to finance the building of an ark that will transport a few people, animals and supplies to the planet Zyra, which orbits Bellus and will replace the Earth in its orbit around the sun. The hero is devil-may-care pilot Derr, who settles down long enough to romance Keating's scientist daughter Rush.

While sometimes talky and stiffly performed, at 83 minutes it doesn't get boring, and the effects of the Earth's destruction (mostly stock footage) are good. Beware, though, of a truly awful matte painting that greets the survivors at the end of the film; it reportedly was painted by Chesley Bonestell as a guide for the effects men who were building a miniature of the new world, but when time and money ran short, Paramount decided to just use the production painting in the film. It was a really bad decision, and mars the ending horribly. The cast of familiar faces includes Hayden Rorke, Frank Cady, Kirk Alyn, Mary Murphy and Stuart Whitman. Music by Leith Stevens. Mate was an acclaimed cinematographer who made mostly B-pictures as a director.

WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE GONE? (1974)--Directed by John Llewellyn Moxey.  Stars Peter Graves, George O'Hanlon Jr., Verna Bloom, Kathleen Quinlan.  Steve Anders (Graves) and his two teenage children (O'Hanlon, Quinlan), on vacation in the Sierra mountains, are stunned when they emerge from a cave to discover the Earth has been victimized by a "solar flare", which has wiped out the human population, leaving only powder in its place.  Other forms of life, such as trees, plants and animals, were unaffected (although dogs and cats seem to have been driven mad).  After testing their food and water supply for contamination, scrounging up transportation, and stocking up on other essentials, the Anderses head out for their Malibu, California home in search of Mom, who had to leave their vacation site early on a job assignment.  On the way, they discover, in trickles, more facts about the phenomenon that affected the Earth and more survivors, some friendly, others not so.

While short on action, WHERE HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE GONE? is an effective low-budget take on the end of the world, focusing on a normal family and their reactions.  Although one could argue that Graves is a little too level-headed, given their situation, and O'Hanlon's status as a college sophomore majoring in physics is bit convenient, Moxey coaxes fine performances out of the entire cast, and scenes of Graves and family entering towns filled with empty buildings and cars, except for occasional glimpses of clothing with white powder tumbling out of them, are appropriately creepy.  Network television was full of interesting science fiction and horror during the 1970s, and this is one of the better examples.  Music by Robert Prince.  Also with Noble Willingham and Michael James Wixted.  Writer Lewis John Carlino later directed another sensitive SF tale, RESURRECTION, with Ellen Burstyn.  Executive producer Charles Fries also made THE NORLISS TAPES.

WHERE'S POPPA? (1970)--Directed by Carl Reiner. Stars George Segal, Ruth Gordon, Trish Van Devere, Ron Leibman. Hilarious black comedy will surely offend many viewers. Segal is a timid New York lawyer who lives with his senile mother. She drives him crazy with her bizarre behavior and constantly interferes with his love life. Film's highlight is the scene where Gordon embarrasses Segal in front of new girlfriend Van Devere by yanking down his pants and kissing his bare butt. It's that kind of movie. Brilliant acting by Segal and Gordon. Also with Barnard Hughes, Paul Sorvino, Vincent Gardenia and Reiner's son Rob. Carl Reiner's best film.

WHILE THE CITY SLEEPS (1951)--Directed by Fritz Lang. Stars Dana Andrews, George Sanders, Rhonda Fleming, Vincent Price, Thomas Mitchell. More melodrama than thrills in this newspaper story about a TV commentator (Andrews), a newswire editor (Sanders) and a city editor of a daily paper (Mitchell) competing against each other to discover the identity of a serial killer stalking New York City. They believe that whoever comes up with the scoop will receive a promotion from their foppish new boss (Price). Some pretty good acting by a great cast makes this drama worth seeing if you keep in mind it's not really a thriller. Also with Ida Lupino and James Craig.

THE WHIP HAND (1951)--Directed by William Cameron Menzies. Stars Elliott Reid, Carla Balenda, Raymond Burr, Otto Waldis, Edgar Barrier, Peter Brocco, Michael Steele. One of the strangest thrillers of the Red Scare era was both directed and production-designed by the legendary Menzies, an Oscar-winning (GONE WITH THE WIND) art director who also occasionally wrote, produced and performed second-unit duties. Reportedly rarely seen since its 1951 release, THE WHIP HAND is a lurid though fun slice of postwar paranoia.

Reid, an amiable sort better known for his work in light comedies, plays Matt Corbin, whom we first see fishing during a thunderstorm. It's clear that thunder and lightning are all around him, yet when the torrential downpour begins, Corbin looks around him in surprised annoyance. When the clumsy oaf runs smack into a tree, cutting his forehead, on his scurry back to his car, it becomes clear we might have trouble rooting for the big lug. After taking a wrong turn and being rudely run off by a gun-toting security guard roaming the walls of a barbed-wire-surrounded estate in the wilderness, Corbin finally makes it into sleepy little Winnoga, Minnesota, one of those Hollywood small towns in which everyone acts suspiciously and strangers aren't to be trusted. Landing a room for the night at the hotel owned by jovial Steve Loomis (Burr), Corbin is surprised to learn that Winnoga has become a ghost town after all the fish in the nearby lake died of a strange virus. Thinking there might be a story in Winnoga--Corbin is a journalist for a LIFE-like magazine--he decides to stick around for a few days, much to the chagrin of Loomis; Dr. Koller (Barrier), the local physician who sewed up Corbin's cut; Janet (top-billed Balenda), the doctor's pretty sister; and local goons Chick (Steele) and Garr (Brocco).

It soon becomes clear to Corbin that Winnoga houses a massive conspiracy, and, with Hardy Boys-like skill, begins investigating the mysterious guarded estate. Imagine his surprise when he discovers the lodge is headquartering a former Nazi scientist, Dr. Wilhelm Bucholtz (Waldis), and Winnoga, with only a few exceptions (including Janet), is populated with Communist spies who plan to destroy the U.S. population with diabolical germ warfare being developed by Dr. Bucholtz. Unable to leave town and constantly spied upon by Commie eyes, Corbin fights to discover a way to contact his New York editor for help and to destroy the Commies' plans for world domination.

Considering that THE WHIP HAND was a troubled production, it may be surprising that it turned out as well as it did. According to Bill Warren's excellent KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES, it was originally made as THE MAN HE FOUND, and, instead of Bucholtz, the mysterious villain residing in the remote compound was none other than Adolf Hitler! RKO head Howard Hughes, after the film had been completed, decided to replace Hitler with a Communist threat, and ordered new scenes shot and old ones cut or restructured. The skill of Menzies as a filmmaker is evident in that THE WHIP HAND doesn't appear confusing or truncated, and the additional material flows quite nicely with the old. Although the final scenes more closely resemble a Dr. Doom comic book story in dialogue and approach than the noirish material before, THE WHIP HAND is a well-performed entertainment that works in spite of (or perhaps because of) its heavy-handed approach. Reid is a likable sort, although he plays Corbin as kind of a dolt, always (unwisely, it seems) talking trash to his opponents instead of staying cool. Burr is very good as the sinister innkeeper, who bounces between glaring evil and outgoing jocularity with alarming ease.

Also with Frank Darien, Lurene Tuttle, Olive Carey, Lewis Martin and future DEATH RACE 2000 screenwriter Robert Thom. Music by Paul Sawtell. Brocco was soon to become one of Hollywood's most familiar character actors, while Balenda later appeared on Burr's PERRY MASON series. WHIP was filmed as THE ENEMY WITHIN. I may be displaying a shocking ignorance of history, but, not having lived during the Red Scare, I don't know what a "whip hand" refers to.

WHISPERS IN THE DARK (1992)--Directed by Christopher Crowe. Stars Annabella Sciorra, Jamey Sheridan, Deborah Unger, Alan Alda. Sciorra didn't score too many more leading roles after this ridiculous erotic thriller, which is recommended just to see M*A*S*H star Alda deliver one of the worst performances in film history. To say more about his role would be giving things away, but it's definitely an Alda you haven't seen before and one you will bust a gut laughing at--for all the wrong reasons, of course. Annabella is a sexually repressed shrink who becomes intrigued by the kinky confessions of one of her patients (Unger). When Unger ends up murdered, Sciorra finds herself falling for a smooth-talker (Sheridan) who seems uncommonly knowledgeable about the case. Also with Anthony LaPaglia, Jill Clayburgh, John Leguziamo and Anthony Heald. Released by Paramount.

WHITE COMANCHE (1967)--Directed by Gilbert Kay. Stars William Shatner, Joseph Cotten, Rossana Yanni. This amazing cheapjack Spanish-made spaghetti western stars the legendary Captain Kirk in not one but TWO different roles! As good guy Johnny Moon, he finds himself being blamed for the bloody rampage and crimes of his evil half-breed Indian twin brother Notah. Most of the action scenes are pretty boring, and Shatner wears some dopey-looking purple pants. The finale features the two Shatners on horseback battling mano y mano. The director is actually the Spanish-born Jose Briz.

THE WHITE HUNTRESS (1957)--Directed by George Breakston.  Stars Robert Urquhart, John Bentley.  There's no huntress, white or otherwise, in this boring jungle tripe released by AIP.  It was filmed entirely on location in Kenya, which is impressive, but Breakston wastes the opportunity by presenting too many scenes of people yakking in front of a bunch of trees.  What little action there is takes place either off-screen or crudely interjected with stock footage.  Dermot Quinn's plot echoes that of a western, as two brothers, played by Urquhart and Bentley, lead a wagon train of pioneers across Kenya in the 1890s.  Urquhart has treasure on his mind, which leads to a violent end.  I wouldn't bother with this if I were you.  Also with Susan Stephen.

WHITE LIGHTNING (1973)--Directed by Joseph Sargent.  Stars Burt Reynolds, Jennifer Billingsley, Ned Beatty, Bo Hopkins, Matt Clark.  "If you haven't seen WHITE LIGHTNING, then you haven't seen Burt Reynolds" cried the one-sheet for this entertaining action flick, which stars Reynolds as Arkansas moonshiner Gator McKlusky.  Burt was on his way to becoming the biggest movie star in the U.S. after a decade and a half of TV westerns and cop shows, low-budget and little-seen potboilers and even an Italian western, NAVAJO JOE, which failed to turn him into the next Clint Eastwood.  It was DELIVERANCE, the terrifying adaptation of James Dickey's bestseller, that turned Reynolds' career around, and WHITE LIGHTNING was one of his first starring vehicles in its aftermath.

McKlusky, serving a five-year sentence for illegally transporting untaxed whiskey across state lines, is stunned to learn of the death of his younger brother Donnie, to whom Gator wasn't especially close.  Donnie was the first McKlusky to attend college, where he became involved in the then-rabid protest scene, growing his hair and speaking out against government corruption.  Unfortunately, he chose to protest in "the worst county in the world", redneck Bogen County, Arkansas, which is run by the seemingly benign but actually iron-fisted Sheriff J.C. Connors (Burt's DELIVERANCE costar Beatty), who has been taking kickbacks from moonshiners for years.  For Donnie's insolence, Connors and a deputy take him prisoner and drown him in the swamp.  After an escape attempt fails, McKlusky agrees to work undercover for the federal government, getting a job running "shine" while taking notes on the "who's", "when's" and "where's" of the illegal whiskey business--a mission that meets with great disapproval even from Gator's own parents, but the only way to bring Connors down.  With the help of his outside contact Dude (Clark), a reluctant ally whose broken probation forces him to aid McKlusky, Gator joins up with runner Roy (Hopkins), whose sexy, slutty girl Lou (Billingsley) takes a "shine" to the charismatic ex-con.

Reynolds may have been the first major mainstream movie star whose greatest fan base was in the South.  Audiences on both coasts may have been slow to pick up on his natural charm and ability as an actor, but the Heartlanders who attended drive-ins weren't, swarming to see Burt behind the wheel of a car putting the screws to Southern authority.  And WHITE LIGHTNING is an excellent showcase for Reynolds too--not only does he get to take his shirt off and squeal tires like a good action star should, but he also shows that he's not just a pretty face with considerable charisma.  In particular, one scene in which he eavesdrops on the conversation of a group of starry-eyed college students while internally reflecting on his relationship with his late brother and another in which he learns the truth behind his brother's death from a teen mother prove Reynolds' mettle and the script's surprising complexity.  In fact, the fine screenplay by B.W.L. Norton (GARGOYLES) is a hearty mix of car chases (excellently executed by stunt coordinator Hal Needham), Gothic atmosphere, filial conflict and even some social commentary.  Director Sargent, who bounced back and forth between features and made-for-TV movies, keeps things moving along at a steady pace, pulling every last drop of Southern fried ambiance out of the appropriately grimy locations and assembling a top-notch cast.  Beatty is perhaps too young to be playing a character who has supposedly been the sheriff of Bogen County since Matt Clark was a boy, but he also displays the perfect mix of old-fashioned manners and icy foreboding that makes Connors more than a Clifton James caricature.

WHITE LIGHTNING was such a success that Reynolds directed the sequel, GATOR, himself a few years later.  Also with R.G. Armstrong, Diane Ladd (misspelled in the opening titles "Lad"), Louise Latham, Dabbs Greer and little Laura Dern.  Music by Charles Bernstein.  Reynolds found himself in prison again a year later in THE LONGEST YARD.  He also started hosting TV talk shows, walking onto game shows (like "Match Game" with Gene Rayburn), posing nude for COSMOPOLITAN, and generally doing all the things that movie stars, who are supposed to be secretive and larger-than-life, are not supposed to do.  It didn't seem to hurt his career, which continued to be strong until health problems and the public's growing impatience with silly home movies like STROKER ACE knocked him off the screen.  He later won an Emmy for "Evening Shade", earned a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination for BOOGIE NIGHTS, and continues to baffle his fans with his knuckleheaded and often foolish choice of material (BIG CITY BLUES?  DRIVEN?  UNIVERSAL SOLDIER III?).  From the director of COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT.

WHITE LINE FEVER (1975)--Directed by Jonathan Kaplan.  Stars Jan-Michael Vincent, Kay Lenz, Slim Pickens, L.Q. Jones.  A lot of movie and TV heroes during the 1970's were truck drivers, and one of the first was Carrol Jo Hummer (Vincent), a Vietnam vet who returns to his Arizona hometown to marry his sweetheart Jerri (Lenz) and pursue a career as an independent semi driver.  Unfortunately, greed and corruption have invaded the trucking industry, even filling the pockets of Carrol Jo's late father's former partner Duane (Pickens).  Refusing to buckle under, Carrol Jo finds himself blacklisted by the local industry, unable to find enough work to make the payments on his "bucket" and provide for pregnant Jerri.  Instead of caving in to pressure to haul illegal cigarettes and slot machines, Carrol Jo attempts to form a union at great personal risk to himself and his livelihood.

Not that WHITE LINE FEVER is a serious drama.  It's a good-ol'-boy drive-in flick all the way, filled with barroom brawls, exploding trucks, smashed cars and a good number of nifty stunts and crashes.  A step forward from the softcore and blaxploitation movies that Roger Corman protégé Kaplan (TRUCK TURNER, NIGHT CALL NURSES) had been making for New World and AIP, FEVER spends as much time focusing on the relationship between newlyweds Vincent and Lenz as on the action, developing their marriage into one that feels real, one in which economic stability is of great importance, as it usually is in reality.  Kaplan and co-writer Ken Friedman don't develop the villains nearly as well, although the colorful Jones milks it for all he can.  Don Porter, Sam Laws, Dick Miller, Martin Kove, Leigh French and R.G. Armstrong also appear.  Music by David Nichtern.  WHITE LINE FEVER made plenty of money for Columbia, and probably influenced several "concrete cowboy" films like HIGH-BALLIN' and CONVOY.  Vincent made the similar VIGILANTE FORCE a year later.

WHITE NIGHTS (1985)--Directed by Taylor Hackford. Stars Gregory Hines, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Isabella Rossellini. Implausible but stylish drama about a Russian ballet dancer (Baryshnikov), a defector to the United States, who is captured by the Soviet government after a plane crash there. He meets American defector/tap dancer Hines and his Russian wife Rossellini. The two dancers perform with the Kirov Ballet, but feel a yearning for freedom. The dancing is fantastic, as is the spectacular plane crash, but plot is a bit difficult to swallow.

WHITE NOISE (2005)--Directed by Geoffrey Sax.  Stars Michael Keaton, Deborah Kara Unger, Chandra West.  The last time Keaton starred in a theatrical release was 1998's JACK FROST, where he played a dead father reincarnated as a snowman. Not surprisingly, JACK received a frosty reception from critics and audiences, and Keaton fell plumb off the radar for several years, during which he appeared in some low-profile pictures that never received general releases, an acclaimed TV-movie about the Gulf War, and a teenybopper Katie Holmes vehicle in which he played the U.S. President.  I don't think it bodes well for Keaton that his big starring comeback is in this Universal dump job, but it has to be more satisfying for his fans than his next picture, Disney's umpteenth THE LOVE BUG remake with Lindsay Lohan.

WHITE NOISE is not very impressive, but Keaton does very good work in it as Jonathan Rivers, a successful architect whose wife Anna (West) dies in an accident. Rivers becomes convinced he can contact her through EVP--Electronic Voice Phenomenon.  He becomes obsessed with videotaping "white noise" in order to get a visual or audio glimpse of his wife in the afterlife. Soon, the film's moral of Thou Shalt Not Meddle Where Man Is Not Meant to Tread becomes evident when Keaton begins seeing pictures from beyond...before the victims have died.

The ending is badly jumbled, but the film's biggest problem is that too much of it consists of people sitting in front of a computer, clicking keys and staring at a screen.  Computers are not inherently cinematic, and director Sax isn't talented enough to add freshness to it. Keaton does a wonderful job of selling the script's inconsistencies, though.  He also looks pretty good; he's filled out some (he was 53 when WHITE NOISE was made), and sports a pretty good rug.  Also with Ian McNeice and Keegan Connor Tracy (FINAL DESTINATION 2).

WHITE NOISE 2 (2008)—Directed by Patrick Lussier.  Stars Nathan Fillion, Katee Sackhoff, Craig Fairbrass.  Three months after his wife and son are murdered seemingly randomly by a gunman (Fairbrass) who then turns his weapon on himself, a grief-stricken Abe Dale (Fillion) attempts suicide.  He survives, but his near-death experience has left him with the ability to know who is going to die.  He uses his power to save them, including the pretty nurse (Sackhoff) who tended to him after his suicide attempt, but comes to learn that the people he saves, through some Satanic mumbo-jumbo, turn into mass murderers three days later.  Sloppy plotting and an implausible romance subplot sink this DTV sequel shot in Vancouver.  Bringing together genre favorites Fillion (FIREFLY) and Sackhoff (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) was a good ploy to lure fans, but they deserve a better vehicle.  Lussier (whose directorial career to date consists solely of DTV sequels, including three DRACULA movies) stages one impressive setpiece involving a grand piano that could be favorably compared to Brian DePalma, so WHITE NOISE 2 is not completely without worth.  Though it is without purpose.

THE WHITE SPIDER (1963)-Directed by Harald Reinl.  Stars Joachim Fuchsberger, Karin Dor, Dieter Eppler, Chris Howland.  Just because it looks like an Edgar Wallace mystery and talks like an Edgar Wallace mystery doesn't mean it's necessarily an Edgar Wallace mystery.  This West German krimi is actually based on a novel by Louis Weinert-Wilton, but is strictly in the Wallace vein, right down to the casting of Fuchsberger and Dor (the lovely wife of director Reinl).  Gambler Richard Irvine is killed in a car crash after leaving the illicit Club 55 casino in London.  His widow Muriel (Dor) is suspected by the insurance company of killing him and is investigated by Scotland Yard.  Screenwriter Albert Tanner's elaborate plot unfolds neatly, introducing several colorful characters, such as Muriel's lawyer Summerfield (Eppler), Club 55's eyepatch-wearing manager and its comic-relief waiter (Howland in the Eddi Arent role), a toothpick-chewing assassin, a mysterious Scottish criminologist who hides his face from those he interrogates, and a charming petty thief named Hubbard (Fuchsberger) whose attraction to Muriel appears to be his main motivation for becoming involved in proving her innocence.  The sharply drawn characters and Reinl's clever direction make THE WHITE SPIDER one of the era's best krimis.  Music by Peter Thomas.  Also with Werner Peters, Horst Frank, Paul Klingler and Hans Bergmann.  The charismatic Fuchsberger and Dor made ten films together.

WHITE TIGER (1996)—Directed by Richard Martin.  Stars Gary Daniels, Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa, Matt Craven, Julia Nickson.  DEA agent Mike Ryan (Daniels) avenges the murder of his partner (Craven) by leaping impulsively into Seattle’s Chinese underground, where druglord Chow (Tagawa) has created a new drug even more powerful than crack.  This doesn’t sit well with Chow’s mob bosses, who send a sexy assassin (Nickson) after him.  Martin handles the action scenes competently enough, but there’s little else in WHITE TIGER (besides perhaps Nickson’s nude scene) to recommend.  There’s really nothing wrong with the acting (the movie could have used more of Craven); it’s just that the paint-by-numbers script gives the performers little to be excited about, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you can guess, not only the plot turns, but also specific lines of dialogue.  Lisa Langlois and George Cheung are also in the cast.

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? (1988)--Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Stars Bob Hoskins, Christopher Lloyd, Joanna Cassidy. One of the most stunning technical achievements in film history, this comedy also features terrific acting and an original storyline. In 1947 Hollywood, real live people and cartoon figures commonly interact. Private eye Hoskins is hired to clear the name of animated actor Roger Rabbit, who is accused of killing a movie producer. Hoskins is great in a difficult performance--he had to act with an imaginary rabbit for most of the picture--and the special effects are breathtaking. Kathleen Turner is breathlessly sexy as the voice of Roger's wife Jessica (Amy Irving did Jessica's singing); Charles Fleischer provides Roger's voice. Great fun and an enormous box-office smash. Also with Stubby Kaye. Music by Alan Silvestri.

WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR (1965)--Directed by Joseph Cates.  Stars Sal Mineo, Juliet Prowse, Jan Murray, Elaine Stritch.  This delightfully sick thriller unexpectedly casts Borscht Belt funnyman Murray in a dramatic role as Dave Madden, a detective who investigates when young club DJ Juliet Prowse is the recipient of obscene phone calls.  Sal Mineo is top-billed as the pervert, who works as a busboy at Prowse's club, but this movie is, along with TIGHTROPE and THE MAD BOMBER, one of the few crime dramas in which the hero is creepier than the sleazebag he's pursuing. Surprisingly frank for an independent 1965 film with a name cast (Frank Campanella, Bruce Glover and a young Daniel J. Travanti are also in it), WHO KILLED TEDDY BEAR is badly in need of a DVD release. Shot entirely on location in New York City and on Long Island, TEDDY BEAR was written by Arnold Drake, who was primarily known for writing DC comic books, but also wrote and produced another interesting East Coast independent film, THE FLESH EATERS.

WHO MURDERED JOY MORGAN--See KILLJOY.

WHO SAW HER DIE? (1972)--Directed by Aldo Lado.  Stars George Lazenby, Anita Strindberg, Nicoletta Elmi.  Just three years after playing James Bond in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, Lazenby was in Venice, Italy, starring in this occasionally intriguing giallo.  Franco (Lazenby) is an Italian sculptor enjoying a visit from his young daughter Roberta (Elmi), who lives with her fashion model mother Elizabeth (Strindberg) in London.  When Roberta is murdered by someone wearing a black dress and veil, the police are baffled, and Franco begins investigating the killing himself, leading him through a maze of pornography, corruption, pedophilia and a similar unsolved murder of a child three years earlier.  Lado does a fine job setting up the loving relationship between Franco and Roberta, so that, when she is killed, it comes as a massive blow.  Unfortunately, the legwork that follows is uninvolving and slow, although it does lead to a few more well-staged deaths and a fiery climax.  The final line, though, spoils the pot a bit, sounding as though it were added in post-production to appease censors.  Lazenby, much skinnier and with longer hair than in his James Bond days, is fine in the lead.  Ennio Morricone's score is quite effective, using a children's choir to prime effect.  Perhaps the movie's greatest asset is Venice itself, as Lado went out of his way to photograph some truly unusual and lovely locations, places that aren't prominently mentioned in any Fodor's guidebook.  Also with Adolfo Celi (THUNDERBALL).

WHO’S HARRY CRUMB? (1989)--Directed by Paul Flaherty.  Stars John Candy, Jeffrey Jones, Barry Corbin, Annie Potts, Tim Thomerson, Shawnee Smith.  Candy was the executive producer of this tame comedy that I imagine he believed would inspire a franchise. He’s Harry Crumb, a bumbling private detective assigned by his oily boss (Jones) to investigate the kidnapping of millionaire Corbin’s daughter.  Jones wants Crumb on the job because he’s the kidnapper, out to get rich in order to steal Corbin’s gold digging wife (Potts).  It’s a little bit of SCTV and a little bit of GET SMART as Crumb, with the help of Corbin’s game younger daughter (Smith), accidentally solves the case.  Much of the humor lies in the absurdist vein, but SCTV vet Flaherty’s uneven direction falls flat, and unnecessary cameos by Lyle Alzado and Jim Belushi are more distracting than funny.  Smith is wonderfully winning here, and Thomerson scores as Potts’ lunkheaded boy-toy.  Also with Joe Flaherty (the director’s brother), Valri Bromfield, Wesley Mann and Renee Coleman.  Music by Michel Colombier.  Filmed in Vancouver.

WHO'S MINDING THE MINT? (1967)--Directed by Howard Morris. Stars Jim Hutton, Dorothy Provine, Milton Berle. Hutton is appealing in this zany comedy as a U.S. mint worker who accidentally destroys some money. He enlists several associates and concocts an elaborate plan to break into the mint and print replacement money before the loss is discovered. Great supporting cast of comic second bananas includes Joey Bishop, Victor Buono, Walter Brennan, Bob Denver, Jack Gilford and Jamie Farr.

THE WHOLE NINE YARDS (2000)--Directed by Jonathan Lynn. Stars Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Rosanna Arquette, Michael Clarke Duncan, Amanda Peet, Natasha Henstridge, Kevin Pollak. Some amiable performances, including a star-making turn by Peet (JACK & JILL), are enough to recommend this farce, which isn't quite madcap enough to be completely successful.

Meek dentist Oz (Perry) discovers his new next-door neighbor is Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Willis), a notorious Chicago hitman who made headlines for ratting out Hungarian Mob boss Yanni Gogolak (Pollak). To say too much more about the plot would give it away, but the cast of characters also includes Oz's bitchy wife Sophie (Arquette); Jimmy's sexy wife Cynthia (Henstridge), who sleeps with Oz; a hulking black giant named Frankie Figs (Duncan, Willis's castmate in ARMAGEDDON); and Jill (Peet), Oz's sweet dental assistant who may not be as sweet as she seems. Many of these characters are murderers, others will be murdered, and the rest will try to avoid being murdered under director Lynn's (MY COUSIN VINNY) deft touch. Unfortunately, Mitchell Kapner's (ROMEO MUST DIE) script bogs down with too many plot twists, and becomes more interested in its McGuffin than in the funny characters and situations.

Willis has become one of Hollywood's great non-actors, in that he barely seems to be moving at times. As in 1999's THE SIXTH SENSE, he registers well while seemingly using the most minimalist acting process possible, and turns in one of his most likable comedic performances (although I dug his fast-talking MOONLIGHTING character better). Perry's riff on his familiar FRIENDS character is fun, and he falls down real well too. Peet, who also performs a topless scene, is the film's most charming performer; impossibly gorgeous with a sparkling set of teeth, she also has the ability to alternately play goofy, sexy, sweet and starry-eyed, and is always convincing, even when her character undergoes some surprising revelations. Pollak and Arquette struggle with silly accents (intentionally silly, I believe), while Henstridge mainly looks beautiful. Also with Harland Williams, Carmen Ferland and Howard Bilerman. For once, Canadian locations aren't used as a substitute for an American setting, since THE WHOLE NINE YARDS is actually set in Montreal. Music by Randy Edelman.

THE WICKER MAN (1973)--Directed by Robin Hardy.  Stars Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland.  THE WICKER MAN is one of Great Britain’s most acclaimed films.  At the time it was produced, Hammer Films was on the downside of its reign as England’s foremost maker of monster movies like THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN and HORROR OF DRACULA.  By the early 1970s, however, Hammer’s well of ideas was running dry.  It was still producing Frankenstein and Dracula pictures, but to diminishing box office receipts, and Christopher Lee, who portrayed Count Dracula in seven Hammer films, had publicly grown weary of the role.  England’s reputation as an exporter of quality scare pictures was on the rocks.

Anthony Shaffer was an accomplished Liverpudlian playwright and screenwriter whose credits included SLEUTH and Alfred Hitchcock’s FRENZY.  Shaffer was interested in writing a horror feature, but was not interested in slinging about boobs and blood the way recent Hammer pictures had done.  He crafted an exceptionally literate screenplay, which attracted not only director Robin Hardy to the project, but also Christopher Lee, which gave the movie instant credibility among horror fans.

Edward Woodward, best known today as TV’s THE EQUALIZER, was well-known in England as the star of the ITV television series CALLAN, in which he played a British spy.  Woodward stars in THE WICKER MAN as Sergeant Howie, a morally uptight police detective who arrives at a mysterious private island called Summerisle to investigate the disappearance of a little girl.  Although he was summoned to Summerisle by a letter ostensibly written by the girl’s mother, Howie is unable to find anyone who will answer his questions or even admit that the little girl exists.

Howie is also stunned to discover that the inhabitants of Summerisle practice a religion akin to paganism.  The devout Christian and virgin is appalled by the freewheeling society that treats sexuality and nudity quite cavalierly.  He’s simultaneously repulsed by and attracted to Willow (Britt Ekland), the innkeeper’s daughter who gifts Howie with an alluring nude dance.  The island’s owner, Lord Summerisle (Lee), who leads the community, also treats Howie in a playful manner, but the by-the-book policeman brooks no nonsense, especially after he begins to suspect the little girl may have been a victim of human sacrifice.

Reference books and reviews usually describe THE WICKER MAN as a horror movie, and it is.  But it’s also an absorbing mystery, an insightful character study, and even a musical.  It’s hard to imagine this movie existing without its rich soundtrack, a delightful mixture of traditional Irish and Scottish folk songs and original music composed by Paul Giovanni.  Many numbers are performed by the cast, and they are as integral to the storytelling as Shaffer’s dialogue.

A British magazine, TOTAL FILM, named THE WICKER MAN as one of the ten greatest British films ever made.  Ironically, it was not treated with much respect upon its initial release.  The studio that made it despised it and cut several minutes out of it before shipping it off to the United States as the bottom half of a double bill.  Years later, the missing footage was found (reportedly as landfill) and reinstated on a DVD released domestically by Anchor Bay, but it’s the original 87-minute cut that’s reviewed here.

THE WICKER MAN is a film best seen cold.  It’s certainly unique, and it ends on a clever and gruesome twist that has helped make the film’s reputation.  Lee has gone on record claiming THE WICKER MAN is his favorite of the 200+ films in which he has appeared.  Woodward still speaks highly of the film, and performances by notable actresses Diane Cilento and Ingrid Pitt, who, like Lee, was a veteran of Hammer’s gothic horrors, have also contributed to its cult success.

THE WILBY CONSPIRACY (1975)--Directed by Ralph Nelson.  Stars Michael Caine, Sidney Poitier, Nicol Williamson.  Poitier and Caine work very well together in this sturdy action movie with an apartheid backdrop.  The day he is released from prison after serving an unjust ten-year sentence, black anti-apartheid spokesman Poitier finds himself on the run in South Africa with British mining engineer Caine, the lover of Poitier's lawyer, after assaulting a pair of policemen in self-defense.  Brutal, chain-smoking secret policeman Williamson follows them on their 900-mile drive from Capetown to Johannesburg, where the fugitives become embroiled in a hunt for missing diamonds.  The political setting is quite unusual for such an action melodrama, but director Nelson (TICK...TICK...TICK...) and writers Rod Amateau and Harold Nebenzal (KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS) manage to keep their message on target without becoming preachy.  A good amount of humor, mainly in the adversarial byplay between Caine and Poitier, helps too.  Filmed in Kenya.  Also with Prunella Gee, Persis Khambatta (STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE), Rutger Hauer, Patrick Allen and executive producer Helmut Dantine.  Music by Stanley Myers.

THE WILD ANGELS (1966)—Directed by Roger Corman.  Stars Peter Fonda, Bruce Dern, Nancy Sinatra, Diane Ladd.  One of the most important exploitation movies ever, this archetypal biker flick marked a bold transition from AIP’s squeaky-clean teenage froth (like the Frankie & Annette beach pictures) to something more closely approaching reality.  Somewhat controversial upon its initial release, partially because of the participation of real-life Hell’s Angels, THE WILD ANGELS made a ton at the box office and made Fonda a counterculture legend.  A beer-guzzling, town-pillaging biker gang led by Heavenly Blues (Fonda) goes on a rampage after one of their members, Loser (Dern), is gunned down by the police.  Kidnapping Loser’s body from the hospital, the Angels decide to bury him biker-style, which involves taking a small-town church hostage for an orgiastic funeral.  Teeming with anger and hate, THE WILD ANGELS may not be an accurate portrayal of Hell’s Angels, but Charles B. Griffith’s nomadic screenplay and Corman’s fluid direction make it look like one.  It’s also notable for what happened behind the scenes, as future notables Peter Bogdanovich and Monte Hellman gained experience working for Corman on THE WILD ANGELS.  Buck Taylor (GUNSMOKE), Joan Shawlee, Norman Alden, Dick Miller, Gayle Hunnicutt, Michael J. Pollard and Barboura Morris are also in it.  Mike Curb is credited with the score, but mostly everyone remembers Davie Allan and the Arrows’ fuzzy “Blue’s Theme.”  Fonda, Dern, Morris, Miller, Bogdanovich and Corman also made THE TRIP together.

THE WILD BUNCH (1969)--Directed by Sam Peckinpah. Stars William Holden, Robert Ryan, Ernest Borgnine, Ben Johnson, Warren Oates, L.Q. Jones, Strother Martin, Bo Hopkins. Extremely violent western was the subject of much controversy during its original release. United Artists cut the film severely, but the footage was restored for its 1994 re-release. Film centers on a band of six outlaws led by Holden looking to make one big score before they retire. Former gang member Ryan now leads the vicious bounty hunters hot on the Wild Bunch's trail. Very few directors could make screen violence as poetic and even beautiful as Peckinpah did. Splendid photography by Lucien Ballard. Also with Edmund OBrien, Jaime Sanchez, Albert Dekker, Dub Taylor, Emilio Fernandez and Alfonso Arau. Jerry Fielding contributed one of his best scores. Co-written by Walon Green, who continued to work in television in the '90s on such series as MILLENNIUM, LAW & ORDER and NYPD BLUE.

WILD GEESE II (1985)--Directed by Peter R. Hunt.  Stars Scott Glenn, Edward Fox, Barbara Carrera, Laurence Olivier.  Richard Burton was supposed to reprise his WILD GEESE role, but died before production started.  Fox joined the cast, playing Burton's brother Alex Faulkner, who joins up with a band of mercenaries led by Haddad (Glenn) to break into a German prison and spring a Nazi war criminal named Hess (Olivier).  More talk than action in this British adventure.  Glenn is cold but solid in the leading role, and Carrera looks great.  Also with Robert Webber, Ingrid Pitt, John Terry, Kenneth Haigh and Patrick Stewart.  Music by Roy Budd.  Filmed in Berlin.

THE WILD REBELS (1967)--Directed by William Grefe. Stars Steve Alaimo, Walter Philben, Jeff Gillen, Willie Pastvano, John Vella. When racer Alaimo racks up his stock car in a fiery crash, cop Philben talks him into infiltrating a bank-robbing biker gang called Satan's Angels. The poorly executed fight and chase scenes begin. Filmed in southern Florida. From the director of DEATH CURSE OF TARTU.

WILD RIDERS (1971)—Directed by Richard Kanter.  Stars Alex Rocco, Arell Blanton, Sherry Bain, Elizabeth Knowles.  Crown International produced this dull biker movie that only perks up in its 84th—and final—minute.  Most of it is set in a swanky Beverly Hills house, where sleazebag motorcycle punks Pete (Blanton) and Stick (Rocco) invade to rob, rape and brutalize Rona (Knowles), the wealthy woman who lives there, and Laurie (Bain), her old sorority sister.  Pete and Stick were evicted from their biker gang after they stripped and crucified a woman.  Some of the byplay between Blanton (who receives a special Introducing credit) and Rocco may have been improvised and is the best part of the film.  Well, the first 83 minutes anyway.  Maybe Kanter, a softcore director who fills his “legitimate” exploitation flick with arty rack focuses and other camera tricks, was trying to say something deep about America’s class divide.  He doesn’t.  Rocco did THE GODFATHER a year later.

WILD THINGS (1998)--Directed by John McNaughton. Stars Matt Dillon, Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell, Denise Richards. Many people who watch this filmed-in-Florida film noir will notice the campy dialogue, poor acting and silly plot twists, and dismiss WILD THINGS as a bad movie. Others will quickly get what's happening, and enjoy this sleaze for what it really is: a comedy, a parody of a bad movie.

Dillon plays a guidance counselor at an upscale Florida high school who is accused of raping two of his students: a sexy nymphet whose wardrobe seems to consist mostly of bikinis and wet shorts (an eye-popping Richards) and a poor-white-trash convicted drug user played by PARTY OF FIVE's Campbell. Bacon is the local detective brought in to investigate the alleged sex crimes. Even though the film's trailer gives away one of the major plot twists, I'll just say that things are not necessarily what they seem, and even though I predicted many of the story's turns, I was amused by the ones I didn't guess.

The really bad acting by Campbell and Richards is actually a plus here; my guess is that McNaughton sought to cast them because of their lack of skill--their MELROSE PLACE-type hysterics go a long way in setting the film's mood (Richards, whose wholesome, white-bread looks and va-va-voom body are stunningly erotic in this film, was cast in last year's joke-that-nobody-got STARSHIP TROOPERS). Bill Murray has a riotous turn as Dillon's ambulance-chasing lawyer, Theresa Russell seems to be doing Liz Taylor in CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF as Richards's mother, and Robert Wagner acts like he's in a Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker spoof as Denise's attorney. Stay tuned for the closing credits, into which McNaughton brandishes an ingenious use of flashbacks to clean up some of the holes in the plot. George S. Clinton provides the wonderfully evocative score.

WILD THINGS 2 (2004)--Directed by Jack Perez.  Stars Susan Ward, Leila Arcieri, Tony Denison, Isaiah Washington.  This bad sequel has little to do with John McNaughton's subversive WILD THINGS, although it does rip off its plot, Florida setting and even whole scenes from the first film.  But whereas McNaughton was making a searing parody of trashy thrillers, Perez is content to repeat what we've already seen by removing whatever elements made them memorable the first time.  Even the classic three-way between Neve Campbell, Denise Richards and Matt Dillon is copied, but in an unnatural manner and using obvious body doubles for his actors.  Why a cheap direct-to-video sequel would bother to hire actresses who refuse to do nudity is beyond me.

Former white-trash teen Brittany (Ward, who looks about 28) became one of school's most popular girls after her mother married wealthy businessman Niles Dunlap (Denison).  Her mom committed suicide a year earlier, and after Niles is killed in a private-plane crash, it appears Brittany may be the sole inheritor of his estate.  Bitchy Maya (Arcieri, who turned 30 before WT2's release) resents Brittany and challenges the inheritance in court, presenting DNA evidence that marks her as Dunlap's daughter.  I won't reveal more about the plot, but if you've seen WILD THINGS, nothing that happens will come as much of a surprise.  What's most frustrating is that the screenplay gets carried away with itself, offering up so many plot twists that you realize at the end of the movie that it was a waste of time, that the scam perpetrated in the film was completely unnecessary and negates the purpose of the film.

Cheaply lensed in Florida, WT2 premiered on Encore before hitting home-video shelves a few weeks later.  Also with Linden Ashby, Katie Stuart, Joe Michael Burke, Ron Dean and Allan Havey as a veterinarian.  From the director of the classy THE MARY KAY LETOURNEAU STORY and UNAUTHORIZED BRADY BUNCH: THE FINAL DAYS.  Shot as THE GLADES.

WILD THINGS 3 (2005)--Directed by Jay Lowi.  Stars Sarah Laine, Sandra McCoy, Brad Johnson, Linden Ashby, Dina Meyer.  WILD THINGS 3 is one of the most useless motion pictures ever made. It isn't a sequel to anything. It's a remake. WT3 is pretty much an exact scene-by-scene remake of WILD THINGS 2, which came out less than one year before. It's a film based on surprises and plot twists, yet how can anyone who has seen the first two WILD THINGS movies be surprised? It's such a bizarre series--three films with the exact same plot and characters, even individual scenes are repeated. I noticed that Andy Hurst and Ross Helford, who also wrote WT2, wrote WT3. I would be willing to bet that there was no screenplay for WILD THINGS 3, that someone took the WILD THINGS 2 script, changed the names of the characters, and filmed it.

What is really bizarre is that Linden Ashby, who played a police detective named Morrison in WT2, returns in WT3 in the same role. If you accept that both films occurred in the same universe, that means that Morrison had already been involved in one mystery where the stepfather to a spoiled rich teenager was involved in a sex scandal involving his daughter's poor white trash classmate, which spun off into an elaborate con game. So you would think that when the same caper happens a second time, Morrison will be able to predict how it would end, or at least notice, "Gee, this is just like that case last year." But nooooooooo...

Fabulous Blue Bay, Florida. Blonde rich bitch Marie (Laine) is battling her sleazy stepfather Jay Clifton (Johnson) for her late mother's inheritance: a pair of diamonds worth approximately $4 million. Jay is then accused of raping Marie's classmate Elena (McCoy), a juvenile delinquent from the wrong side of the tracks who is mocked by the wealthy white girls at school. Detective Morrison investigates the rape, along with Elena's probation officer (who is often called a parole officer accidentally in this sloppy movie), who's played by STARSHIP TROOPERS hottie Dina Meyer.

Gee, I guess I won't ruin any surprises, but if you saw WILD THINGS 2, there is not a single scene in this movie you won't be able to predict. This is lazy filmmaking at its peak, so sloppy that it never stops to consider how two Caucasian parents could produce an Hispanic child. Anyone who has even seen a LAW & ORDER episode could construct a more believable legal system than the one shown here, which jails a wealthy man for murder on little more than the say-so of a trailer park teenager and a forensic scientist who appears to be all of 22 years old.

WT3 does contain more shots of hot girls making out than both of its predecessors combined, which is a good thing, even if much of the nudity is performed by body doubles. As with WT2, there are plenty of rotten actresses out there willing to perform in the nude, so why hire rotten actresses who insist on keeping their tops on? Both female leads do pop their tops later in the film, so it's a mystery to me why director Lowi uses doubles during the big three-way sex scene (oh, gee, did I ruin that plot twist for you?).

Also interesting is that WILD THINGS 3, according to the credits, is "based on characters created by Stephen Peters." Peters wrote WILD THINGS. No characters from WILD THINGS appear in WILD THINGS 3. Of course, the entire script is almost an exact duplicate of his original screenplay, so he probably deserves a better credit--and a more accurate one--than the one he received.  I really would like to watch all three WILD THINGs consecutively sometime. I bet it would be a very surreal experience.  As with WT2, this sequel premiered on cable television two months before its April DVD release.  Shot under the title DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH.  Also with Michael Mantell, Claire Coffee and Ron Melendez.

WILD WHEELS (1969)--Directed by Kent Osborne. Stars Robert Dix, Don Epperson, Casey Kasem, Bruce Kimble. A completely unwatchable biker flick ineptly shot in 16mm. Some overage dune buggiers, led by Elvis wannabe Reb (Epperson), are besieged by idiotic bikers, including leader King (Dix), Knife (Kasem) and fat Boomer (Kimble). The only real action is a scene in which the bikers and buggy drivers cruise around the beach in circles, and even most of the rowdiest biker debauchery takes place off-camera. Instead, we're treated to musical performances by third-rate rock and folk acts that weren't memorable then and certainly are irrelevant today. Not even biker-movie completists should attempt to sit through this Film Ventures International release. Also with Nancy Brock, Lois Jones and Gordon Zimmerman. Music by Harley Hatcher. The star's father, Richard Dix, was a major star in the '30s and '40s. From the director of CAIN'S CUTTHROATS.

THE WILD, WILD PLANET (1965)--Directed by Anthony M. Dawson (Antonio Margheriti). Stars Tony Russell, Lisa Gastoni, Massimo Serato, Franco Nero. One of four colorful science-fiction movies made back-to-back by Italian filmmaker Margheriti in 1964. Russell stars as Mike Halstead, commander of the Gamma I space station, who investigates a series of strange disappearances on Earth. The victims are all top scientists, and are being shrunk to doll size and carted away in briefcases by karate-chopping chicks and mute bald men wearing sunglasses. The fiendish plot is the brainchild of Dr. Nurmi (Serato), who plans to use the scientists body parts for transplants, and to combine his own body with that of Halsteads redheaded girlfriend (Gastoni).

Although Margheriti allows the pace to flag in spots, this is a pretty fun movie loaded with silly dialogue (dubbed, of course), sets painted in primary colors, fake-looking miniatures, sexist one-liners, and a cool score by Angelo Lavagnino that would sound right at home on one of Capitol's ULTRA-LOUNGE CDs. Nero, who plays Russell's sidekick Jake, made his film debut the same year, and went on to become one of Italy's most famous leading men; he also appeared in American features like FORCE 10 FROM NAVARONE and DIE HARD 2. Archie Savage choreographed the weird Proteo Theater butterfly dance. The other sci-fi pictures filmed by Margheriti at this time were released in America as WAR OF THE PLANETS, PLANET ON THE PROWL (or WAR BETWEEN THE PLANETS) and SNOW-DEVILS, and are not easily seen today. Italian title: I CRIMINALI DELLE GALASSIA.

THE WILD WILD WEST REVISITED (1979)--Directed by Burt Kennedy.  Stars Robert Conrad, Ross Martin, Paul Williams, Jo Ann Harris, Robert Shields, Lorene Yarnell.  The stars of the 1965-69 CBS TV series reunite for this entertaining telefilm that features less action and more comedy.  Retired U.S. Secret Service agents James West (Conrad)--now kicking back in Mexico with multiple wives and a flock of kids--and Artemus Gordon (Martin)--traveling the country in a cheapjack Shakespearean review--are recruited back into action to prevent diminutive Miguelito Loveless, Jr. (Williams), the son of their archfoe Miguelito Loveless (played with panache in the series by dwarf Michael Dunn), from conquering the world.  With the aid of his luscious half-sister Carmelita (Harris) and a pair of mimes (Shields & Yarnell) outfitted with bionic limbs ("my $600 people"), Loveless has kidnapped Queen Victoria, the Czar of Russia, the King of Spain and President Grover Cleveland and replaced them in their respective governments with exact duplicates.  Then he announces plans to destroy major cities in each of their nations with an atomic bomb unless they surrender to his reign.

Although this reunion, which was written, produced and directed by men who were not involved with the original show, attempts to capture the spirit of the show, its reliance on broad humor and little violence make it no more than an amusing trifle.  Conrad and Martin still display the same sharp chemistry and look good in their trademark western wear (yes, West still wanders the west in those tight blue toreador pants and vest), but their characters, as scripted by William Bowers (SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL SHERIFF), do too much reacting to Loveless' machinations and not enough acting (Gordon even refers to this onscreen) and the elaborate stunts and fight sequences that were associated with the series, in which West would often brawl with five or six guys simultaneously, are missing.  The story is a good one in grand WWW style, and Williams is delightful hamming it up in his Satanic red cape and getup, but as much fun as this movie is at times, like most attempts to catch lightning in a bottle twice, something just seems missing.  The appearance of Shields & Yarnell, a real-life married duo that, believe it or not, had their own TV variety show not long before making this movie, gives it a kitschy '70s feel.

Also with Harry Morgan, Rene Auberjonois, Jeff MacKay, Trisha Noble, Wilford Brimley, Skip Homeier, Ted Hartley, Joyce Jameson and Pavla Ustinov.  Jeff Alexander's lively score uses generous reminders of Richard Markowitz's marvelous theme.  Conrad and Martin got together again a year later for MORE WILD, WILD WEST, which was also penned by Bowers and directed by Kennedy and was even jokier in tone, casting funnyman Jonathan Winters as the villain.  Martin died of a heart attack in 1981; an earlier one caused him to miss several episodes of the TV series.

THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF BATWOMAN (1966)--Directed by Jerry Warren. Stars Katharine Victor, Steve Brodie, Lloyd Nelson, Bruno VeSota. In the 1950s and '60s, Warren made oodles of money from unsuspecting moviegoers by buying awful Italian and Mexican horror films and releasing them in America redubbed or even with new scenes added. Unfortunately for us, he also directed five movies; this is one of them--a low-budget black-and-white quickie churned out to capitalize on the BATMAN craze caused by the hit TV show. Victor plays Batwoman, leader of some sort of cult comprised of bikini-clad women who like to dance by the pool. When Dr. Neon, his idiot assistant Heathcliff and kingpin Rat Fink kidnap one of her Batgirls, Batwoman (who wears a mask, lots of cleavage, and a bat tattoo on her massive chest) and her girls storm the villains' headquarters. Actually, I have no idea what's happening most of the time, but whatever it is, it's terrible. DC Comics sued to prevent the filmmakers from using the BATWOMAN title, so Warren added an incomprehensible prologue involving blood drinking and re-released the film as I WAS A HIPPY VAMPIRE. There are no vampires in the movie under either title. Pretty awful. Warren also wrote, produced and edited this monstrosity. Was a segment of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 on Comedy Central.

WILDCATS (1986)--Directed by Michael Ritchie. Stars Goldie Hawn, Swoosie Kurtz, James Keach, Nipsey Russell. Charming comedy starring Hawn as the football coach of an inner-city high school. Her team of misfits disapproves at first, but Goldie whips them into winning shape. The film's subplot involves Hawn's ex-husband's (Keach) attempt to win custody of their two children. Another good sports movie by director Ritchie. Look for Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson in early roles as football players; they teamed up a few years later in another sports-related comedy, WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP.

WILL PENNY (1968)--Directed by Tom Gries. Stars Charlton Heston, Joan Hackett, Bruce Dern, Donald Pleasence, Lee Majors, Ben Johnson. Subtle and underrated Western that deserves a major following. Heston is lonely cowboy Will Penny, who falls in with lonely widow Hackett and her young son. Unfortunately, Heston has an enemy in the form of evil preacher Pleasence and his vicious sons. When Pleasence terrorizes Hackett and son, non-violent cowboy Heston finds he must protect them. Thoughtful direction by Gries and an expert cast make this Western a winner.

WILLARD (1971)--Directed by Daniel Mann. Stars Bruce Davison, Ernest Borgnine, Sondra Locke, Elsa Lanchester. Wimpy Willard (Davison) is pushed around by society, until he trains his two pet rats to kill his enemies. Dozens of rats slaughter his cruel boss (Borgnine) in a wildly hilarious scene. When Willard falls for a lonely young blonde (Locke), the rats become jealous. BEN was the sequel. From the director of OUR MAN FLINT.

WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971)--Directed by Mel Stuart. Stars Gene Wilder, Peter Ostrum, Jack Albertson, Michael Bollner. Child-pleasing musical adaptation of Roald Dahl's popular novel. Wilder plays the owner of a mysterious chocolate factory who gives five children a tour of his facility and an opportunity to win a lifetime supply of chocolate. In reality, Wilder is testing the kids' integrity to find a suitable heir. Some of the children meet gruesome punishments, but fantasy is enjoyable nonetheless. Songs by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse include "The Candy Man".

THE WIND AND THE LION (1975)--Directed by John Milius. Stars Sean Connery, Candice Bergen, Brian Keith, John Huston. Rousing epic adventure starring Connery as a roguish Arab chieftain, who kidnaps beautiful American Bergen. U.S. President Teddy Roosevelt (Keith) sends the Marines into northern Africa to rescue her. An exciting old-fashioned action film with rousing adventure scenes and colorful performances by Connery and Keith. Also with Geoffrey Lewis and Steve Kanaly. From the director of RED DAWN.

WIND CHILL (2007)—Directed by Gregory Jacobs.  Stars Emily Blunt, Ashton Holmes.  The first original film by director Jacobs is a spooky two-hander lensed during a cold British Columbian winter.  Set on the American East Coast, this ghost story finds a pair of college students (Blunt, Holmes) who are strangers to each other stranded in a snowbank on a deserted country road.  Stuck sharing a ride together for Christmas break with their families, the two youths experience intense fear on a bleak stretch of road where a corrupt highway patrolman murdered a woman fifty years earlier.  Are there evil spirits stalking the countryside or are hunger and frostbite clouding the students’ imaginations?  Executive-produced by Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney, WIND CHILL doesn’t rely on gore or excess to startle its audience, but rather moody storytelling and the power of suggestion.  Very fine acting by the young leads make you believe the terror of their characters’ predicament.  Jacobs’ first film, CRIMINAL, is a remake of the fine Argentine caper film NINE QUEENS.

WINDOWS (1980)--Directed by Gordon Willis. Stars Talia Shire, Elizabeth Ashley, Joseph Cortese. The only film directed by master cinematographer Willis (THE GODFATHER) is this notoriously awful, sick psychological thriller. Emily Hollander (Shire), a mousy window dresser with a stuttering problem, is raped in her apartment by a man with a tape recorder. The rapist, who is soon captured (in a pretty foolish way) and never mentioned again, gives the tape to Emily’s friend and neighbor Andrea (Ashley), a twisted psycho lesbian who listens to Emily’s recorded moans over and over in the dark. After Emily moves into a “safer” building, Andrea takes a loft across the river, where she uses a telescope to spy upon Emily’s tentative relationship with the cop investigating the rape, Bob Leffrono (Cortese).

It’s a cinch they won’t be showing this one at any GLBT film festivals anytime soon. WINDOWS is one of the sleaziest studio pictures I’ve ever seen, featuring a prolonged rape scene, serious lapses in taste and logic, and one of cinema’s most embarrassing portrayals of that old stereotype staple--the deranged, perverted, murderous homosexual. Those who picketed BASIC INSTINCT ain’t seen nuthin’ ‘til they’ve checked out Ashley’s rantings and ravings. Her performance is the most obviously awful, but Shire’s acting is even worse, relying on the same “wounded deer” schtick she brought to several roles (including her Oscar-nominated turn in ROCKY).

Since the movie begins with the rape, we’re unable to gauge how Emily’s behavior changes after the attack, but it doesn’t appear she was very interesting in the first place and definitely not the type to attract Cortese’s cop. Cortese, delivering the movie’s third bad performance, looks like he’s sleepwalking, reading his lines with the same inflection whether he’s calling for a cab or scrambling (actually, he doesn’t scramble so much as sit on his fanny and wait for something to happen) to save his girlfriend’s life.

Because Willis served as his own cinematographer, it’s no surprise that WINDOWS at least looks good. Many shots contain the same warm browns THE GODFATHER was so famous for, and Ennio Morricone’s sensitive score helps, but not nearly enough to make up for Barry Siegel’s illogical, offensive screenplay, the leads’ poor performances, and pacing that makes Sergio Leone look like Michael Bay.

WINDOWS has never received a home video release, though it has appeared sporadically on cable television. I wonder if it ever played a double bill with CRUISING, another controversial thriller about a homosexual murderer that filmed in New York at about the same time. Also with Kay Medford, Michael Gorrin, Rick Petrucelli, Michael Lipton and James DiBenedetto. United Artists bankrolled this bankrupt thriller, shot in New York City during the winter of 1979. Features a clip of Bette Davis and Paul Henried in NOW, VOYAGER.

WISHMASTER (1997)--Directed by Robert Kurtzman. Stars Tammy Lauren, Andrew Divoff, Robert England, Kane Hodder, Tony Todd. Also known as WES CRAVEN'S WISHMASTER, the heralded horrormeister served merely as an executive producer on this gorefest directed by makeup expert Kurtzman (of the KNB Group, which did the bloody makeup effects for this movie). Nonsense plot involves an evil djinn who gives his victims anything they wish for being released into the world by a cute and plucky young heroine (Lauren). But be careful for what you wish...you just might get it. For instance, a gorgeous woman wishes to be beautiful forever, so the wisecracking genie turns her into a mannequin. Not much of this makes sense, but WISHMASTER is fun in a silly sort of way. Lauren (who looks a lot like a younger Linda Hamilton) is pretty good, and genre fans will appreciate appearances by horror icons Englund (Freddy Krueger), Hodder (Leatherface), Todd (Candyman) and Ted Raimi (from brother Sams EVIL DEAD trilogy).

THE WITCHES' ATTACK (1964)--Directed by Jose Diaz Morales.  Stars Santo, Lorena Velazquez, Edaena Ruiz, Maria San Martin.  Mexican masked wrestler Santo plays Mexican masked wrestler Santo in this Gothic horror tale.  He's called in to investigate when a young woman (San Martin) dreams that she has been taken prisoner by a coven of witches led by her aunt Elisa (Velazquez) and that Santo was defeated by two goons while trying to save her.  Her dream comes true, and it's Santo to the rescue, battling muscle-bound henchmen, a poisonous spider, the threat of human sacrifice and the alluring charms of bikini-clad hottie Medusa (Ruiz), who attempts to seduce Santo into joining her coven.  Morales' pacing is slow at times, but the film delivers with several long fight scenes, all of which Santo loses (!), and the gorgeous presence of the three female leads.  Even the obligatory wrestling match is handled with more verve than in later Santo adventures.  Santo movies are an acquired taste, to be sure, but there's something about seeing the big guy sleeping in his mask and cape that I find strangely endearing.

THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK (1987)--Directed by George Miller. Stars Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Cher, Susan Sarandon. Big-budget fantasy about three lovely but lonely New England women on the lookout for some excitement in their lives. They find it in the form of wealthy charmer Nicholson, who moves into town and promptly seduces all three women. When they discover Jack is the Devil (something moviegoers have known for years), the "witches" team up to run him out of town. The special effects are well done, and Nicholson gets off some amusing one-liners, but film is too long, too violent and too confusing.

WITHOUT WARNING (1980)--Directed by Greydon Clark.  Stars Jack Palance, Martin Landau, Tarah Nutter, Christopher S. Nelson.  Thanks to its unavailability on U.S. home video and its marvelously trashy cast, this wildly stupid monster movie has achieved a certain reputation among bad-movie fans who remember it from cable television airings in the mid-1980's.  Although it drags in the middle, it is often hilarious and features some of the worst acting performances of its veteran cast members' careers.  In a storyline that predates PREDATOR by seven years, an inhuman alien lands in Southern California and hunts human beings for food.  Among its victims are a Cub Scout leader, a macho hunter and his wimp son, and two teenage friends of blind-daters Nutter and Nelson.  The only adults who believe their story of a monster rampaging the woods are Palance, the creepy proprietor of the local filling station, and Landau, the even creepier and more insane war veteran who comes to believe the aliens have taken over the bodies of humans.  What provides many of the laughs...uh, I mean, chills...is the alien's method of death:  throwing small round gooey pizza-looking discs like Frisbees that attach to its victims and project tendrils burrowing into their skin.  Couple these low-budget gore effects with absolutely terrible performances by Landau and Palance, who hopefully were drunk enough during shooting to black this movie out of their memories, and you have plenty of dumb fun that almost justifies its mysterious cachet among horror fans.  Also with Ralph Meeker, Sue Ane Langdon, Larry Storch, Cameron Mitchell, Darby Hinton, Neville Brand and Lynn Theel.  Kevin Peter Hall, who later played the Predator, played the alien here.  A young David Caruso is one of his early victims.  Music by Dan Wyman.  Originally released by Filmways, rights are now believed to be held by MGM.

WITNESS (1985)--Directed by Peter Weir. Stars Harrison Ford, Kelly McGillis, Lukas Haas, Jan Rubes, Alexander Godunov. Half thriller and half love story about a young Amish boy (Haas) who witnesses a murder in a Philadelphia train station. Detective Ford discovers the killer is a policeman, and is shot in the process. He hides out in the Amish community, while Haas's widowed mother (McGillis) nurses him back to health. While marketed as a crime drama, the love story between Ford and McGillis is one of the most tender screen romances in years. Scenes where Ford and McGillis dance awkwardly to a Sam Cooke song and where Ford accidentally catches a glimpse of a bare-breasted McGillis are truly erotic. I thought this would make McGillis a big star; I'm still not sure why she isn't. Oscar-nominated script by Earl W. Wallace and William Kelley. Look for Danny Glover as one of the bad cops. Some Amish found this film offensive, but I don't see why they should.

THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)--Directed by Victor Fleming. Stars Judy Garland, Margaret Hamilton, Bert Lahr, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley. If you don't know as much about this movie as I do, your childhood must have been more screwed up than mine. Watch it and love it.

THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME (1989)--Directed by Mike Jittlov.  Stars Mike Jittlov, Richard Kaye, Steve Brodie, Paige Moore.  What a charming little movie.  It's one of my all-time favorite films about filmmaking, and if all filmmakers loved their work as much as director/writer/producer/special effects man/editor/star Jittlov obviously does, we'd all have a lot more fun at the movies.

Jittlov made a name for himself in the early 1980's when THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY showcased a few of his homemade short films, in which he used stop-motion and traditional cel animation to create all kinds of imaginative visuals.  One of them, also called THE WIZARD OF SPEED AND TIME, was about a green-robed wizard who ran really fast through the Los Angeles area, ending up on a soundstage filled with dancing film equipment.  Believe me, a simple story description does not do justice to Jittlov's marvelous short.  You just have to see it to understand.

Teaming up with schlock producer Kaye (THE TOMB), who provided a modest budget, Jittlov, over a period of many months, made a feature-length version of WIZARD.  He plays Mike Jittlov, a sweet film buff who's approached to provide some visual effects footage for an upcoming television special.  Unfortunately, the producer of the special, Harvey Bookman (Kaye), bets his director Lucky Straeker (Brodie) $25,000 that Jittlov will be unable to complete the project, and then tries to ensure his victory by sabotaging the young man's efforts. 

The plot is simply a clothesline upon which to hang a great number of subliminals, clever special effects, and a few contentious jabs at Hollywood. The satirical elements pack more punch when you realize that Kaye, just like his character does in the film, really did try to rip Jittlov off.  Jittlov integrates his earlier shorts into the running time, and the breathtaking finale is a more expensive remake of his original WIZARD short.  The guy clearly has imagination and style to burn, and it seems a shame Hollywood isn't taking advantage of it.  WIZARD does suffer from obvious padding and too much dumb slapstick, but the behind-the-scenes material, which seems authentic, and Jittlov's genial screen presence is enough to keep you interested.  And in a movie filled with remarkable moments, perhaps the most memorable is one in which no visual effects were needed, one in which Jittlov seemingly holds his breath underwater in one very long, continuous shot. 

Besides Brodie, familiar faces Philip Michael Thomas (who made this just before starring in MIAMI VICE), Steven Stucker (AIRPLANE!) and Angelique Pettyjohn (THE MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND) make appearances, as do Jittlov buds Deven Chierighino, John Massari and Frank LaLoggia.  Massari's bright score is available on a soundtrack CD available through the composer.  WIZARD was reportedly treated poorly by distributor Glickenhaus-Shapiro Entertainment, and dumped quickly onto home video.  Jittlov owns the rights now, and is preparing a special DVD edition.

WIZARDS OF THE DEMON SWORD (1991)--Directed by Fred Olen Ray.  Stars Blake Bahner, Heidi Paine, Lyle Waggoner.  Ray assembles his usual array of interesting and underworked character actors, but this cheap fantasy is still pretty dull.  A brave adventurer (Bahner) and a hottie he rescues (Paine) team up to prevent evil wizard Khoura (Waggoner) from using a magic sword and the blood of a virgin to maintain his cruel reign.  Unconvincing sets, poor dialogue and a lack of exciting action sink this stinker, which at least has a sense of humor.  Also with Russ Tamblyn, Dawn Wildsmith, Jay Richardson, Hoke Howell, Lawrence Tierney as a slaver and Michael Berryman.

WOJECK: OUT OF THE FIRE (1992)--Directed by George Bloomfield.  Stars John Vernon, Christianne Hurt, Patricia Collins.  Vernon returns as Dr. Steve Wojeck, the role that made him a household name in the 1966-68 Canadian TV series WOJECK, in which he portrayed a crusading coroner seeking truth and justice from within the medical community.  Quite frankly, it's very similar to the '70s American series QUINCY, M.E., in which Jack Klugman played an outspoken coroner who abrasively battled bureaucracy and the Establishment in his fight to solve crimes and tackle important social issues.  I've seen only one episode of the black-and-white WOJECK series, but it was surprisingly mature and hard-hitting, especially as compared to U.S. network dramas of the period, and probably even more so than most QUINCY episodes.

In OUT OF THE FIRE, Wojeck returns to Toronto, where he once held the position of chief coroner, from the African Congo, where he had been operating a clinic for the past 21 years.  During that time, his 11-year-old son Nick had died of malaria, spurring his wife Marty (Collins) and young daughter Anna, now grown up and played by familiar Canadian TV actress Hurt, to remain in Toronto after Nick's funeral, finding Africa full of too many painful memories.  While hoping to patch up his relationship with Marty, now engaged to a gentle scholar, Wojeck is hired to work alongside Anna at the free clinic she co-owns.  Something of the old Wojeck still remains, however, as he once again butts heads with the system, his old colleagues and even his own family when he becomes involved with a family of illegal Guatemalan refugees whose baby dies of pneumonia when fear of deportation and torture prevent them from seeking appropriate medical help.

It's too bad Vernon was mostly reduced to cameos and stock heavies in episodic television and exploitation movies, because he proves in OUT OF THE FIRE that he's capable of much more.  Flawed though he may be, Wojeck is a solid dramatic hero with a moral code that has grown obsolete after two decades on the opposite side of the globe.  The cast is uniformly fine and provides dramatic weight to a story that should keep your mind off the film's cheap look (Bloomfield shot on videotape, rather than 35mm film) and sound.  Also returning from the original WOJECK cast is Ted Follows as lawyer Arnie Bateman.  Purists may recall the Wojeck children being named Judy and Steve, rather than Anna and Nick.

WOLFEN (1981)--Directed by Michael Wadleigh. Stars Albert Finney, Diane Venora, Gregory Hines, Edward James Olmos, Tom Noonan, Dick O'Neill. New York police detective Finney is assigned to investigate a series of brutal murders in which the victims are mutilated and their brains ripped out. At first international terrorists are suspected, then a Native American activist (Olmos) who sometimes strips naked on the beach and howls like a wolf. The real culprits are the wolfen--super-intelligent lycanthropes that are upset about being kicked off their land (Manhattan) many years earlier. They're pretty nasty too, leaping through the air (and seemingly through some of their victims!) and killing in a blood-spattering rage (including one of filmdom's great decapitations).

Much of the film's style is due to the many Steadicam special effects shots (by Garrett Brown) showing the action from the wolfen point of view; this was at a time when Steadicam was a new and innovative process. Director Wadleigh (WOODSTOCK) really keeps things moving at a quick clip during the first half, but the plot drags heavily near the end, as the script by Wadleigh, David Eyre and an uncredited Eric Roth veers into environmental preaching and Native American mysticism mumbo-jumbo. The offbeat casting of Finney adds some interest to a basically colorless character, while Hines is charismatic and extremely likable in his film debut as the world's hippest coroner. Venora, always a good actress, is lovely but underused in her first film. James Horner's unconventional score is one of his best, but I would have liked it better if I hadn't recognized it as one he almost completely reused for the following year's STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN (plagiarizing his own work is not an unusual act for Horner). Four editors are credited; reportedly Orion brought in outsiders to reshape Wadleigh's original cut, but apparently they couldn't make the ending any less puzzling.

Also with Peter Michael Goetz, Dehl Berti, Reginald VelJohnson, James Tolkan and director Wadleigh as a terrorist informer. For some reason, Wadleigh hasn't directed a feature since, which is too bad since his dramatic debut is frequently slick and thought-provoking, but is ultimately disappointing. Based upon a novel by Whitley Streiber (THE PROPHECY). Special effects by Robert Blalack, who won an Oscar for his work on STAR WARS.

THE WOMAN HUNT (1972)--Directed by Eddie Romero.  Stars John Ashley, Eddie Garcia, Sid Haig.  After tackling an uncredited remake of THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU (THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE), writer/director Romero and producer/star Ashley decided to plunder Richard Connell's THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME and set it in the jungles of the Philippines.  Wealthy sadist Garcia sends his henchmen to kidnap beautiful women to use as sex slaves for his decadent houseguests.  Ashley plays Garcia's second-in-command, who apparently doesn't mind snatching the women for sex, but when his boss decides to take his friends on a fox hunt--using his foxy captives as prey--Ashley organizes an escape and leads four women through the jungle with Garcia's party in pursuit.  Even though THE WOMAN HUNT runs only about 75 minutes, Romero still takes too long to get the action into the jungle, concentrating more screen time than necessary on getting the women to the estate.  That's a minor quibble, really, since the film still delivers plenty of gory drive-in goods, like beautiful nude women, bloody squibs and an entertaining turn by Haig as Garcia's easygoing henchman Silas.  Pat Woodell (Ashley's TWILIGHT PEOPLE co-star), Jennifer Brooks (THE ABDUCTORS), Charlene Jones, Lisa Todd and Ken Metcalfe co-star.  Jack Hill (THE BIG DOLL HOUSE) wrote the story.

WOMEN IN CAGES (1971)--Directed by Gerry de Leon.  Stars Pam Grier, Jennifer Gan, Judy Brown, Roberta Collins.  Grier, Brown and Collins, veterans of Jack Hill's women's prison drive-in flicks for New World, appear in this more brutal and depraved WIP by a Filipino director.  Simpy Jeff (Gan), framed by her weasely pimp boyfriend for heroin possession, is sent to a jungle jail run by ruthless black lesbian matron Alabama (Grier).  Among Alabama's methods of torture are whippings, the "box" (filled with leeches), and strapping a naked prisoner into stone boots and placing a flaming brazier next to her.  As if treatment from the prison staff isn't bad enough, Jeff also discovers one of the prisoners is trying to kill her:  Stoke (Collins), a strung-out dope addict who's been promised an early release if she can whack her cellmate.

As usual for the genre, WOMEN IN CAGES provides the usual amount of shower scenes, catfights, sordid tortures, racial and socio-political subtext, and nude women.  De Leon, who collaborated with producer/star John Ashley on several made-in-the-Philippines horror films (THE MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND), is a less insightful filmmaker than Hill, whose THE BIG BIRD CAGE and THE BIG DOLL HOUSE are genre classics, but at only 78 minutes, you can't really say WOMEN IN CAGES wears out its welcome.  At this point in her career, Grier was miscast as the heavy; she hadn't quite developed enough as an actress to stretch that far past her own natural charisma.  Gan is not much of an actress at all (she doesn't seem to have appeared in any later films), but Brown and Collins demonstrate the talent that made them minor exploitation stars.  Also with Sofia Moran and Charlie Davao.  The musical score consists of recycled Les Baxter cues from previous Roger Corman features.  Another Grier WIP, BLACK MAMA, WHITE MAMA, was also released as WOMEN IN CHAINS, whereas WOMEN IN CAGES has been seen as WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY III.  Trying to keep up with various New World Pictures re-releases and retitlings can be an exhaustive task.

WONDER WOMEN (1973)--Directed by Robert Vincent O’Neill.  Stars Nancy Kwan, Ross Hagen, Maria de Aragon, Roberta Collins.  Kwan plays Dr. Tsu, a brilliant surgeon with a private island fortress off the coast of Manila.  She uses her highly trained all-girl army of martial-arts experts to kidnap the world’s greatest athletes to use as body parts in an international transplant operation.  Hagen (also the film’s producer, which explains the frequent close-ups of Ross’ slimy mug) is an insurance investigator named Mike Harber, who is enlisted by Lloyd’s of London to track down a missing jai-alai player.  Despite a tight budget, there’s enough pulpy action (including a pretty good chase through downtown Manila), bright colors and beautiful women to keep you from falling asleep.  Even though Hagen is miscast as a suave hero, and the PG rating keeps the kinkiness to a minimum, the sub-James Bond antics on display here are pretty fun in a “men’s action novel” way.  Kwan (FLOWER DRUM SONG) couldn’t have been thrilled with the way her career was going, but she seems to have a good time, conducting phone conversations while slicing into a brain or extolling the merits of “brain sex,” which appears to be a forerunner of virtual reality.  Also with Sid Haig (cast against type as an urbane accountant), Vic Diaz, Tony Lorea, Shirley Washington and Claire Hagen.  Marilyn Joi appears uncredited in a prologue and an epilogue that appear to have been hastily cobbled together in post-production to pad the film to ninety minutes.  General Film Corporation originally released WONDER WOMEN, but it became available later on television and home video (and perhaps theatrically too) as THE DEADLY AND THE BEAUTIFUL.

WONDERLAND (2003)--Directed by James Cox.  Stars Val Kilmer, Ted Levine, Lisa Kudrow, Dylan McDermott, Eric Bogosian, Franky G.  Rarely have crime, drugs, porno and guns been so boring.  After all, the Wonderland murders of July 1, 1981 are a tabloid's dream.  In a house on Los Angeles' Wonderland Avenue, four people--all of whom were heavy into the local drug culture--were bludgeoned to death by several assailants using lead pipes.  The prime suspect was adult-film legend John Holmes, whose 13 1/2-inch unit had earned him the title of "The King" with over 1000 porn movies and 14,000 women under his belt.  Holmes was eventually acquitted in court, but his level of participation in the killings remains in question to this day (he died of AIDS in 1988).

WONDERLAND doesn't exactly seek to solve the mystery of the brutal Laurel Canyon slayings.  Instead, it attempts to lay the puzzle pieces out there for us to decipher, but does so in such a confusing and listless fashion that even veteran LAW & ORDER fans will become bored.  Director James Cox (HIGHWAY) and his army of screenwriters (Cox is one of the four credited) tell their procedural RASHOMON-style from two distinctly different viewpoints.  The first is from a biker named David Lind (a fine performance by THE PRACTICE's Dylan McDermott, who battles back admirably against the makeup department's appallingly fake beard), who would likely have been a Wonderland victim if he hadn't split town for the night.  He's convinced of Holmes' guilt, and says so to the dogged detectives working the case, played by Ted Levine (SILENCE OF THE LAMBS) and Franky G (THE ITALIAN JOB).  Lind, being a heroin addict and thief who admits to participating in a robbery against Arab mobster Eddie Nash (Eric Bogosian, affecting a B-actor's approximation of an accent--"Crawl!  Crawl like dog!") that precipitated the murders, is a less-than-believable witness, so the cops haul Holmes in to a swanky hotel suite to hear his story.

Unlike his rich portrayal of the similarly self-absorbed Jim Morrison in THE DOORS, Val Kilmer's depiction of John Holmes as a pathetic, petulant addict is pretty shallow.  Perhaps Holmes was an interesting guy in reality, but whatever magnetism or charm he may have had (and there must have been something about him besides his mammoth member that led porn producers to cast him in so many films) is vacant from Kilmer's performance.  We know from THE DOORS that Kilmer is capable of capturing a flamboyant personality on-screen, so perhaps Cox is to blame.  Certainly the director recognized the difficulty in dramatizing a true-crime event packed with names and faces and dates; you can tell from his hodge-podgy approach to the material, spicing it up with various cinematographic fashions, split screens and Tarantino-style time-shifting.  Unfortunately, Cox's antics serve mostly to confuse the audience.  You could be forgiven for not realizing Christina Applegate, Janeane Garofolo and Natasha Gregson Wagner are even in the movie, since Cox doesn't bother to develop or even introduce their characters, which hardly makes us care when they are attacked.

Was John Holmes an interesting guy?  Maybe, but WONDERLAND is the wrong vehicle to demonstrate that.  The only character who seems genuine is that of Sharon Holmes, John's long-suffering straight-laced wife, played by Lisa Kudrow (FRIENDS) with such earnestness and loneliness that you wish Cox had decided to film her life instead.  Also with Kate Bosworth (BLUE CRUSH) as Holmes' teen girlfriend, Josh Lucas (HULK), Tim Blake Nelson, Carrie Fisher and Paris Hilton.  Three Dog Night, Free, the Cars, Billy Joel, Joan Jett, Gordon Lightfoot, T-Rex, Roxy Music, Bad Company, Ted Nugent, Bob Dylan, Iggy and the Stooges, Duran Duran, Van Morrison, Robert Palmer, Dobie Gray, Leon Russell and Bernard Herrmann (!) are some of the artists whose songs are heard.

THE WOODS (2006)—Directed by Lucky McKee.  Stars Agnes Bruckner, Patricia Clarkson, Bruce Campbell.  McKee’s (no relation) highly anticipated follow-up to MAY bypassed theaters and was belatedly dumped directly to DVD.  It’s 1965, and troubled teen Heather (Bruckner) is deposited by her folks at a repressive all-girls school where students keep disappearing.  Bruckner (MURDER BY NUMBERS) and Clarkson as the strict headmistress are quite good, and THE WOODS delivers some visual flair, both in its production design and camerawork, but the script is a letdown.  The languid pace is a real killer.  In and of itself, the pacing may not have been so awful except for the fact that we all know where the story is going a half-hour in, and it ain't worth the wait.  What you think is going to happen does.  Campbell enlivens the proceedings with his typically energetic gusto, and it’s always a good thing for a director to get Bruce into a workshed.  Also with Rachel Nichols, Emma Campbell and Gordon Currie.  Nice use of Lesley Gore.

WOODSTOCK (1970)--Directed by Michael Wadleigh. Stars Janis Joplin, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Sha Na Na, the Who, Richie Havens et al. Excellent three-hour account of the legendary three-day rock concert held on a farm near Woodstock, New York. The musical acts are mostly great, but much of the film concentrates on the people--the ones who attended the concert, the National Guardsmen who fed and protected them, and the townspeople who had different reactions to the craziness happening there. Wadleigh uses frequent split-screen effects to better show us what actually happened at Woodstock. Also with Joe Cocker, Jefferson Airplane, Joan Baez, Santana, Sly and the Family Stone, Ten Years After and, of course, Jimi Hendrix. Future director Martin Scorsese was an editor. Won the 1970 Best Documentary Academy Award.

WORKING GIRL (1988)--Directed by Mike Nichols. Stars Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford, Sigourney Weaver, Alec Baldwin, Joan Cusack. Wall Street secretary Griffith wants to hit the big time, but is tired of having her ideas stolen by scheming executive Weaver. When Weaver is sidelined with a skiing injury, Griffith decides to impersonate her and pitch an idea to stockbroker Ford. Griffith is cute in an Oscar-nominated role, but I find Nichols's comedy slightly overrated. I think if BULL DURHAM had been released at the same time of year, it would have been Oscar-nominated instead of this film. Ford is good in a Cary Grant-type role; it would be interesting to see him in another light comedy. Also nominated for Best Picture, Director and Supporting Actress (Cusack, Weaver). Winner for Best Song: "Let the River Run" by Carly Simon.

WORKING STIFFS, VOL. 1 (1979)--Directed by Penny Marshall & Norman Abbott.  Stars Jim Belushi, Michael Keaton.  Future film stars Belushi and Keaton played bumbling brothers in this short-lived CBS sitcom.  Only four of the six episodes taped were aired by CBS (in September and October of 1979); the remaining two later popped up on the Arts & Entertainment cable network.  Both had already co-starred in television shows--Belushi on NBC's WHO'S WATCHING THE KIDS?, Keaton in ALL'S FAIR, THE MARY TYLER MOORE HOUR and MARY, another Moore comeback vehicle in which Keaton appeared as a regular alongside an equally unknown David Letterman.  Even then, it was clear that Keaton was a magnetic talent--energetic, quick, manic, and uproariously funny--and after another sitcom attempt failed (REPORT TO MURPHY), it wasn't until Ron Howard cast him opposite Henry Winkler in NIGHT SHIFT that the world discovered what network executives already knew:  that Michael Keaton was a star in the making.  A fatter, feather-haired Belushi, looking at that time to step out of his more famous brother John's comic shadow, almost matches Keaton in this series, in timing and chemistry if not in energy.

Paramount Home Video released all six existing episodes on two videotapes.  The first contains the first three shows to air on CBS.  LAVERNE & SHIRLEY star Marshall directed the show's pilot, called "The Preview Presentation", which may have been the future BIG and A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN helmer's debut behind the lens.  It's a bit ragged, as many late '70s sitcoms were, but frequently funny, and nicely establishes the show's premise.  Knuckleheaded siblings Ernie (Belushi) and Mike O'Rourke (Keaton) land jobs as janitors in a Chicago office building owned by their uncle Harry (Michael Conrad).  After some mild slapstick involving their delivery of a heavy file cabinet to an upstairs office, the boys then find themselves dangling Harold Lloyd-style from the hands of a clock while attempting to change a light bulb.  Mark Sotkin wrote it.  In "Looking for Mr. Goodwrench", penned by E. Jack Kaplan (DESIGNING WOMEN), one of the brothers becomes expendable after a revolutionary new maintenance tool makes their jobs obsolete.  Keaton singing the blues is the highlight of the episode.  And in "Bomb Show" by Alan Aidekman, Mike fears for his life after witnessing a bank robbery, culminating in a very funny scene in which he and Ernie are trapped in an elevator with a bomb.  Look for Paul Reubens (PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE) as an unctuous delivery boy named Heimlich.

Other regulars include Val Bisoglio (doing double duty on this series and QUINCY, M.E.) as the boys' boss and nemesis, Steckler; Allan Arbus (COFFY) as Mitch, the owner of the arcade underneath the O'Rourkes' apartment; and Lorna Patterson (the PRIVATE BENJAMIN sitcom) as Nikki, Mitch's very pregnant waitress.  WORKING STIFFS shows signs of backstage troubles--continuity errors abound (I wonder whether this is the result of the actors improvising and several different takes having to be cut together), four men are credited as "creators" and one as "developer", and each episode contains different producer credits.  Bob Brunner and Arthur Silver, who previously worked on BAD NEWS BEARS and BROTHERS & SISTERS, were executive producers.  After several years as a feature film star (although he never reached superstar status the way Keaton did), Belushi found himself back on TV in the ABC sitcom ACCORDING TO JIM.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999)--Directed by Michael Apted. Stars Pierce Brosnan, Sophie Marceau, Robert Carlyle, Denise Richards, Judi Dench, Robbie Coltrane. Watching a James Bond movie these days is like visiting a favorite relative at Thanksgiving. You know exactly what's on the menu, and you know you're with good company; in fact, it's that very familiarity that makes it so nice. You know going in that 007 will ask for a martini, "shaken not stirred". He will introduce himself to someone as "Bond. James Bond". He'll visit a casino. He'll make love to three different women: one bad, one good, and one completely peripheral to the main plot. The main villain will chew out one of his henchman, and then unexpectedly kill a second one as a warning to the first. The heavy will also capture Bond, but, instead of killing him immediately, will either talk long enough for him to escape or contrive an intricate deathtrap (usually with a digital number countdown) from which Bond will somehow manage to free himself. And there'll be lots of gadgets, cool cars, exotic locations, chases, fights, explosions, stunts and imaginative methods of killing. And Q, the crotchety old man who supplies 007 with his fancy equipment, will get P.O.ed at him. Suffice to say, all of the above occurs in THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, and Bond fans wouldn't have it any other way.

This time it's personal for James (Brosnan, playing the role for the third time) after MI6 headquarters in London is destroyed by an explosive device that he unwittingly carried in. The target of the blast is a wealthy oil magnate named King, and his daughter Elektra (Marceau) is left to run the family business. Bond discovers that the explosion was instigated by a terrorist named Renard (Carlyle), who has obtained super-strength and an invulnerability to pain as the result of a bullet lodged in his brain (sadly, not much is done with this interesting concept). He also believes Renard may be trying to destroy Elektra's Asian oil pipeline, which leads him into a convoluted plot (concocted by scenarists Bruce Feirstein, Neal Purvis and Robert Wade) involving a Russian mobster (Coltrane), a past kidnapping, a stolen nuclear bomb and a plot to blow up Istanbul!

Any Bond film lives and dies on the brilliance of its set pieces, and director Apted (COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER) and second unit director Vic Armstrong deliver some doozies: a pre-credit boat chase down the Thames (as remarkable as just about any in the series), an attack on a caviar factory by a helicopter dangling giant buzzsaws (!), and a thrilling ski chase using para-sails. Only on a Bond film are stuntmen and second unit directors given prominent billing in the opening crawl, and they deserve it. One of the film's weaknesses is that the early action scenes are so clever, the climax fails to live up to their standard.

Apted is the biggest name director the Bond series has ever had, and it's probably to his credit that the performances are, with one notable exception, so strong. Brosnan is confident and self-assured as 007, mixing Sean Connery's rough-and-ready audacity with a touch of '90s sensitivity. His is a Bond that can kill in cold blood without batting an eye, but allows himself a touch of remorse later. The luminous Marceau (BRAVEHEART) plays Elektra with complexity, while exuding more eroticism than any previous Bond girl. Carlyle, as a man who is both more and less than human (since his wound has left him unable to use any of his senses), manages to endow his megalomaniac terrorist with a morsel of sympathy. The great Dench as Bond's boss M garners more screen time this time around, and uses it well; she obviously approaches all of her roles with the same intensity, whether it's in a big-budget comic book or an independent drama like SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (for which she won the Academy Award). Series newcomer John Cleese gets some laughs as R, who provides Bond with his techno-thingamabobs, while retiring 85-year-old Desmond Llewelyn, who has appeared as Q in nearly every Bond film since 1963's FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE, is given a sweet and funny sendoff.

Which brings us to Denise Richards, cast as a nuclear scientist with the highly unlikely moniker of Dr. Christmas Jones. Not only is she absolutely unconvincing as a scientist, she's barely believable as a speaker of English. In her previous films, STARSHIP TROOPERS and WILD THINGS, she was cast (I believe) specifically because of her limited acting skills (which were integral to the satirical intent of those films). She looks great with her pouty lips, sexy-naughty smirk and Lara Croft attire, but unless she's supposed to be some sort of in-jokey nod to the campy Bond girls of the past (I'm thinking Jill St. John here), her casting was a big mistake. Not a serious detriment, mind you--the Bond formula is bigger than any mere actor--but a noticeable one.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (which takes its title from the Bond family motto) is the 19th in the longest-running series in Hollywood history. Also with Samantha Bond (as Moneypenny), Maria Grazia Cucinotta, Ulrich Thornsen, David Calder and Serena Scott Thomas as Dr. Molly Warmflash! Very good score by David Arnold blends contemporary techno styles with the classic John Barry sound. Arnold and lyricist Don Black penned the theme, performed by Garbage. Daniel Kleinman designed the main title sequence. James Bond will return!

WORTH WINNING (1989)--Directed by Will Mackenzie. Stars Mark Harmon, Madeleine Stowe, Lesley Ann Warren, Maria Holvoe. Offensive and chauvinistic comedy about a swinger (Harmon) who bets a friend he can become engaged to three different strangers within three months. When the women find out about the bet, they decide to get even. Harmon is supposed to be the film's hero, but it's hard to sympathize with him, because his actions are so cruel. Also with Mark Blum and SCTV's Andrea Martin.

WOUNDED (1997)--Directed by Richard Martin. Stars Mdchen Amick, Adrian Pasdar, Graham Greene. TWIN PEAKS actress Amick stars as a gorgeous park ranger in the Pacific Northwest who is victimized by a psychotic grizzly-bear poacher (Pasdar)! When Pasdar slaughters her posse Rambo-style, executes her partner and leaves her to die, Amick concocts a plan for revenge that involves teaming up with an alcoholic Native American detective (Greene). Some gorgeous forest scenery and an exciting opening dont quite make up for the slow pacing and uninteresting script (co-written by sometime X-FILES writer/director Harry Longstreet). The performances are OK considering the underwritten characters. Also with Robert Costanzo and Jim Beaver.

THE WRAITH (1986)--Directed by Mike Marvin.  Stars Charlie Sheen, Nick Cassavetes, Sherilyn Fenn, Randy Quaid.  Car freaks may dig this offbeat SF revenge thriller about a mysterious racecar driver (Sheen) who drops out of the sky to do battle with a gang of "road pirates" led by the psycho Packard (Cassavetes).  Packard and his loony posse of speed freaks (with names like Skank, Rughead and Gutterboy) terrorize the citizenry of their sleepy Arizona community, forcing the local kids into illegal drag races and claiming sexy burger waitress Keri (Fenn) as Packard's unwilling moll.  Who or what Sheen really is is open to interpretation, but he certainly ain't human.  He also has surprisingly little screen time, showing up long enough for Fenn's nude scene and to talk a little smack to Cassavetes.  Sheen's Dodge Turbo-Interceptor is a pretty cool hot rod, and if you like seeing fast cars crash and burn, you might get a kick out of this fluffy sleeper.  Quaid is excellent as the local sheriff.  Also with Clint Howard, Matthew Barry, Griffin O'Neal and Steven Eckholdt.  Music by Michael Hoenig and J. Peter Robinson, with songs by Billy Idol, Motley Crue, Ozzy Osbourne and other hard rock acts.  From the director of HAMBURGER: THE MOTION PICTURE.  Fenn's eye-popping red bikini steals the show.

THE WRECKING CREW (1968)--Directed by Phil Karlson. Stars Dean Martin, Nigel Green, Sharon Tate, Elke Sommer, Nancy Kwan, Tina Louise. Dino's fourth and final go-round as superspy Matt Helm. Helm and gorgeous agent Tate battle evil gold thief Green. Louise (Ginger on GILLIGANS ISLAND) gets blown up real good by an exploding bottle of Scotch. Worth a look because of a rare major role for sexy actress Tate, who was murdered the next year by the Manson family. From the director of WALKING TALL.

WRESTLEMANIAC (2008)—Directed by Jesse Baget.  Stars Rey Misterio, Irwin Keyes, Adam Huss, Leyla Milani, Jeremy Radin.  Dreadful slasher flick about a small group of young idiots who drive their van to a Mexican ghost town to shoot a porn movie.  With the possible exception of the fat cameraman who conveniently knows all about the local legend of El Mascarado, the long-thought-dead masked wrestler who rips the faces off his victims, all of the characters are annoying and stupid, but not like in a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie.  Sure, you want the characters to die, as in many slasher flicks, but here you really want them to die.  Milani, ridiculously out of place with her fake hair, fake boobs and fake lips, is the scantily clad Final Girl who misses most of the action because she’s fixing the van (by clattering about the engine with no tools, even though the van broke after running over a rock).  I suppose landing actual wrestler Misterio to play the baddie in this bloody movie was considered a coup.  Take away credits, and WRESTLEMANIAC runs less than 70 minutes, which is way too long.

THE WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY (1964)--Directed by Rene Cardoza.  Stars Lorena Velazquez, Elizabeth Campbell, Armando Silvestre, Chucho Salinas.  Cardoza's follow-up to DOCTOR OF DOOM brings back the main cast, but is overlong and stuffed with padding.  Once again, sexy wrestling chicks Loretta Venus (Velazquez) and Golden Ruby (Campbell) and their cop boyfriends Mike (Silvestre) and Tommy (Salinas, the comic relief) team up to battle a serial-like bad guy.  This time, it's the Asian Black Dragon, who's killing people in search of three different pieces of a codex that legend says points the way towards a hidden Aztec treasure buried in the ruins.  A mummy that can transform into a vampire bat (!) guards the treasure.  Cardoza and American distributor K. Gordon Murray's trademark lunacy carries over from DOCTOR OF DOOM in its dialogue and fight scenes, but a wrestling match that goes on for what feels like forever and a mid-section flashback consisting of footage from another movie (I don't know which) sink AZTEC MUMMY before it ever reaches its anticipated climax, which turns out to be not much of a battle at all.

THE WRONG GUY (1997)--Directed by David Steinberg.  Stars Dave Foley, David Higgins, Jennifer Tilly, Colm Feore, Joe Flaherty.  Nebbishy Nelson Hibbert (NEWSRADIO straight man Foley) freaks out when he enters his boss' office and discovers him murdered with a knife sticking out the back of his neck.  He storms out of the building, screaming hysterically and covered in blood.  Of course, he assumes that the police are after him, and begins a panicked journey to Mexico.  The brilliant conceit by screenwriters Foley, Higgins and Jay Kogen is that the cops know exactly whom the killer is--an icy hitman played by Feore (HIGHWAYMEN).  Coincidentally, the police pursuit of Feore follows the same path as Foley, whom Feore believes to be an obsessed supercop on his tail.  Clever construction and plenty of nifty gags don't add up to a perfect package, though, mainly because Foley is too lightweight to carry this film on his shoulders.  A leading man with more life could have added more zing to the material, which is also too casually directed by Steinberg (GOING BERSERK).  Tilly as Foley's narcoleptic love interest and SCTV's Flaherty as her father, a small-town banker in danger of losing his institution to a wealthy farmer, provide good support.  Also with Enrico Colantoni, Alan Scarfe, Kenneth Welsh and Dan Redican.  Lawrence Shragge faithfully apes Bernard Herrmann's Hitchcock scores.  Filmed with Ontario impersonating the American Midwest.

THE WRONG GUYS (1988)--Directed by Danny Bilson.  Stars Louie Anderson, Franklyn Ajaye, Richard Lewis, Richard Belzer, Tim Thomerson, John Goodman, Brion James, Biff Manard.  I imagine this was a fun set to work on, but the resulting film doesn't quite click the way it should.  In theory, it should have--just cast five acclaimed stand-up comics in roles based loosely on their personas and stick them into an easy-going plot set in the Wyoming wilderness.  Five former Cub Scouts--grown-up kid Louie (Anderson), silky DJ Franklyn (Ajaye), neurotic dentist Richard (Lewis), sardonic designer Belz (Belzer) and surfer dude Tim (Thomerson)--are reunited 25 years later to recreate one of their old camping trips.  The camaraderie takes a back seat to survival when they find themselves up against A) the grown-up Grunski brothers (James, Manard), who want revenge for being kicked out of the den as kids and B) homicidal prison escapee Duke Earle (Goodman), who's hiding out near the guys' camp.  The cast is terrific, although some of their routines work better with a live audience, and the whole exercise is too amiable to hate very much, but Bilson's film is a disposable one.  He and co-writer Paul DeMeo did better work with superheroes, scripting good films like THE ROCKETEER and TRANCERS (starring Thomerson) and creating the TV series THE FLASH.  Bilson's father is veteran TV director Bruce Bilson.  Also with Ernie Hudson, Timothy Van Patten, Carole Ita White, Rita Rudner, Lenny Clarke, Jonathan Brandis and Alice Ghostley.

WRONG IS RIGHT (1982)--Directed by Richard Brooks.  Stars Sean Connery, George Grizzard, Katharine Ross.  An easily distracted United States President, who isn't trusted by the people, starts a war in the Middle East because a terrorist may or may not have weapons of mass destruction. Politicians caution the soldiers to make sure not to blow up the oil wells there. Gasoline skyrockets to more than $3.00 per gallon at U.S. pumps. America's image in the eyes of the world as a trusted ally goes down the toilet. Suicide bombers strike New York City. Life today as we know it, right?

In 1982, this was considered science fiction. Satire. Black comedy. Richard Brooks, the liberal filmmaker behind BLACKBOARD JUNGLE and ELMER GANTRY, wrote, produced and directed WRONG IS RIGHT, a thematically ambitious political satire for Columbia Pictures that died at the box office. And with good reason--it isn't very good. Based on a novel (that I haven't read), WRONG IS RIGHT is jumbled storytelling, a confusing mishmash of deceit, doublecrossing and American politics as usual. It has a deep anti-American tone. No film studio would have the guts to bankroll this film today, and it's a shock that Columbia did then. It's obvious that the studio had little faith in it, however. It looks cheap and couldn't have cost very much to make. Fred Koenekamp (THE TOWERING INFERNO) was a very fine cinematographer, but WRONG IS RIGHT looks flat like a TV show. The special effects are dismal, although, to be fair, some of it is probably intended that way.

Sean Connery stars as Patrick Hale, a super-badass television news reporter who becomes embroiled in an arms deal between an Arab king (Ron Moody) and a Muslim terrorist (Henry Silva) obviously based on Muammar Gaddafi. U.S. President Lockwood (George Grizzard) orders the king's assassination, and news of his involvement turn public opinion deeply against him and for the opposite party's candidate, Mallory (Leslie Nielsen). Meanwhile, Silva buys two atom bombs from a German arms dealer (Hardy Kruger) and threatens to blow up New York City unless Lockwood resigns and is tried on television for murder. We learn near the end that the bombs are dangling from a flagpole atop one of the Twin Towers, which makes for some shudder-inducing imagery.

John Saxon plays a shady CIA agent. Robert Conrad is a crazed general named Wombat. Rosalind Cash is the black Vice President. Katharine Ross plays a spy. Dean Stockwell is the President's Chief of Staff. Robert Webber is Connery's boss who loves the violence as long as it keeps the Nielsens high. G.D. Spradlin is the CIA chief. Jennifer Jason Leigh has a small role unconnected to Brooks' main story. It's a helluva cast, and if WRONG IS RIGHT is worth watching at all, it's to see these folks work. Some scenes have Connery, Saxon, Grizzard, Conrad, Cash, Spradlin and Stockwell acting together.

Ultimately, though, WRONG IS RIGHT really isn't worth seeing, no matter how (sadly) prescient it is. As much as it speaks out against politics, it lampoons television and its predilection for disguising entertainment as news, "if it bleeds, it leads." NETWORK already covered this territory (and better), and Connery's wildly unconvincing newsman (who sits in on top-secret military strategy conferences) doesn't ring enough of truth to work as satire. Some of WRONG IS RIGHT is eerie, though. Almost as if the late Brooks had ridden a time machine 25 years in the future before directing it. 

WRONG TURN (2003)—Directed by Rob Schmidt. Stars Desmond Harrington, Eliza Dushku, Jeremy Sisto, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Lindy Booth, Kevin Zegers, Julian Richings. Horror at its most primal. And puerile. Six young people are stranded on a West Virginia dirt road and are stalked by inbred cannibals. Unlike the good old days of slasher flicks, in which the cast at least looked like people you would hang out with, WRONG TURN’s impossibly handsome cast offers girls in extremely tight tank tops and dudes off the cover of GQ. The actors are more seasoned, but not any better; I don’t know what that says about Young Hollywood. The gore and oooohh-scaaary music are less restrained, and the story is basically THE X-FILES’ “Home” before Mulder and Scully joined the case. It’s predictable as hell; when one young man says to his panicked fiancé, “We’re going to make it out of here. And then we’re going to get married,” you can guess who dies next. A sequence with the characters leaping from tree to tree like Tarzan is ludicrous. Admittedly, producer Stan Winston’s creepy makeup effects are quite good, although the monsters are completely defined by their look. No attempt is made to create actual characters for the villains. One wonders how they’ve been able to operate so effectively for so long. It’s obvious that people have been disappearing from the area for a long time, but it takes our young stars just a few minutes to discover what the cops never have. WRONG TURN is thankfully very short; take away credits front and back, and it’s about 75 minutes. I can understand why it was filmed in Canada. The West Virginia Film Commission would not have been happy with the way their state is portrayed.

WYATT EARP (1994)--Directed by Lawrence Kasdan. Stars Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, Gene Hackman, Jeff Fahey, Michael Madsen. An overlong (at 190 minutes) and meandering but generally engrossing retelling of the Wyatt Earp legend and the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. The story has been told numerous times, but this appears to be the only film to examine the legendary lawman's entire life history from adolescence to middle age.

The film begins with Wyatt as a young boy learning the secret of life from his lawyer father (Hackman): "Family is all that matters. Blood is all you can trust. Everyone else is just a stranger." The film moves through Earp's (Costner) early days as a Wells Fargo driver, a married law student (who is soon widowed when his wife [Annabeth Gish] succumbs to typhoid), a buffalo skinner and an alcoholic horse thief before moving on to familiar movie territory as a ruthless lawman in Wichita, Dodge City, and Tombstone, Arizona. He finally gives up fighting outlaws after the death of his brother Morgan, and retires to San Francisco with his beautiful second wife Josie (newcomer Joanna Going).

The actors are all in fine form; Costner, following in the footsteps of such stalwart leading men as Henry Fonda, Burt Lancaster and James Garner in tackling the Earp legend, gives a strong performance as he skillfully portrays Earp's transformation from a naive family man to bitter and mistrusting gunslinger. Dennis Quaid has the film's meatiest role, that of tubercular dentist/gunfighter Doc Holliday, who, because he's dying anyway, feels he has nothing to lose by helping the Earp brothers in their fight against the Clanton gang. Hackman is an impressive patriarch in what is basically a cameo. Strangely enough for a film that claims to be about strong family bonds, the Earp brothers (played by Madsen and David Andrews) are given barely any screen presence at all; in fact, the Earp wives come off as having more personality.

Kasdan's screenplay (written with Dan Gordon) contains too many unnecessary scenes--the flashback at film's end is one example--and the plot could have been more focused, but the actors are interesting to watch, and the story, of course, is timeless. All-star cast includes JoBeth Williams, Mare Winningham, Mark Harmon, Catherine O'Hara, Bill Pullman, Isabella Rossellini, Tom Sizemore, Karen Grassle, Tea Leoni and Martin Kove. Cinematography by Owen Roizman. Music by James Newton Howard.