Shortly thereafter, Neil Sedaka hits on a girl, which actually is more absurd than the opening, now that I think about it. The photographer, Bill (played by BLOOD FEAST’s Kerwin, who also wrote the script with his brother Harry), on the run from the fuzz, becomes a handyman for honey-blond Arlene (Jean Christopher), whose younger sister Betty (Linda Christopher) is engaged to “rock-and-roll singer” Bob (Sedaka). If you loved Neil’s frighteningly unhip “Do the Jellyfish” in 1966’s STING OF DEATH, you’ll flip for the fruity “Waterbug” he sings at a pool party here. On the bright side, his backup band, J.B. and the Playboys, is good and gets a song of their own.

The hilariously horny Arlene, having seduced Bob (thankfully off-screen), sets her sights on Bill, since apparently Canadian cops are unable to identify him through his fingerprints or boat rental. Bill, who wears white socks with sandals, making him obviously Arlene’s type, ain’t having any of it however. He ends up taking over Arlene’s mansion and luring models there for him to kill.

Outside of an atmospheric dream sequence, Santamaria’s direction is devoid of style any more creative than pointing the camera at scantily clad women. Kerwin, a good actor, plays his loopy character fairly well, at least well enough to project some menace in the hopelessly silly story. PLAYGIRL KILLER would have you believe Montreal is stocked with the world’s most gullible girls. Later released in the U.S. as DECOY FOR TERROR and PORTRAIT OF FEAR.

PLAYING BY HEART (1998)--Directed by Willard Carroll. Stars Sean Connery, Gena Rowlands, Angelina Jolie, Gillian Anderson, Jon Stewart, Madeliene Stowe, Anthony Edwards, Dennis Quaid. Amiable love story about the relationships between seemingly unrelated couples (and then some) over the space of a weekend. Setting the pace are Connery (taking a welcome break from big studio blockbusters and very good in an atypical role) and Rowlands as a long-time-married couple who, worried about Connery's health, begin squabbling over an affair he had many years before. Jolie is a twentysomething party girl attracted to an HIV-positive man, Stowe is unhappily married and having an affair with her priest, and Anderson (of THE X-FILES) is relationship-reticent but slyly attracted to a nice-guy architect (Stewart). These stories (and others) do come together in a surprise ending (that you'll probably predict and is not that big a deal anyway) that is touching and warm. Some stories are better than others (I liked Jolie's performance and the sweet Anderson-Stewart tale best), but none of them really drag, and the performances are generally good. Also with Jay Mohr, Ellen Burstyn, Nastassja Kinski, Patricia Clarkson and Ryan Phillippe. Music by John Barry.

PLAYING GOD (1997)--Directed by Andy Wilson. Stars David Duchovny, Timothy Hutton, Angelina Jolie. X-FILES star Duchovny plays his first feature lead in this uneven thriller armed with an interesting premise, but suffering from jarring changes in tone and a campy performance by Hutton. Duchovny is Dr. Eugene Sands, a drug-addicted surgeon who lost his license to practice after losing a patient on the operating table while under the influence. In a seedy Los Angeles bar to buy synthetic heroin to feed his habit, he witnesses a mob hit. Using his medical skills, he saves the victim's life, and the next day is recruited by gangster Raymond Blossom (Hutton) to be his personal physician. Sands reluctantly finds himself being sucked into the underworld life, where he becomes involved with hitmen, Russian counterfeiters, the FBI and Blossom's gorgeous girlfriend Claire (Jolie, possessor of the sexiest lips and eyes in the business). Hutton in his '70s-style polyester threads and bleached-blond hair is a bad guy parody in a Dennis Hopper-type of role, and clashes strongly with the rest of the film, which careens from Tarantinoesque noir to action flick to comic relief. Duchovny is pretty good--his world-weary narration is reminiscent of a young Robert Mitchum--but I think his future is in light comedy; his Emmy nominations have been for his brilliantly funny guest shot (as himself) on THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW and X-FILES episodes that were mostly played for slapstick. As a first feature, PLAYING GOD is OK, but it'll be exciting to see where his post-X-FILES career path leads him. Also with Michael Massee (a personal friend of Duchovny's who is interestingly cast against type as an FBI agent), John Hawkes and Tracey Walter. Music by Richard Hartley. The director is a veteran of the British TV crime drama CRACKER.

THE PLEDGE (2001)--Directed by Sean Penn. Stars Jack Nicholson, Robin Wright Penn. The third drama directed by actor Penn was poorly marketed by Warner Brothers as a thriller with guns and car chases. THE PLEDGE is actually a thoughtful character study powerfully performed by Nicholson, and, although the plot centers on a serial killer, the mystery aspects are nearly nil.

It doesn't start out that way though. Nicholson plays Detective Jerry Black, who leaves his own retirement party when the raped and mutilated body of a little girl is found in the woods. Taking it upon himself to notify her parents when the other officers bow out, Jerry makes a promise to them (the "pledge" of the title) to find her murderer. The cops think they have their suspect, and when he commits suicide in jail, the case is closed. Jerry isn't convinced, however, but is stonewalled by his former colleagues, and eventually finds himself living alone and running a small town service station. He unexpectedly begins a relationship with Lori, a waitress (Wright Penn), and invites her and her daughter Chrissy to move in with him. Although Jerry's no longer lonely, he becomes more consumed with finding the killer, especially when he thinks Chrissy is the next target.

When Nicholson is on his game, no actor is better, and his performance here is excellent. It's clear from the names that appear in the supporting cast that Penn loves actors, and several pop up in THE PLEDGE in well-defined cameos. The only one that really doesn't work is Benicio Del Toro's mumbling murder suspect, who, adorned with a long, black wig and relying on hackneyed Method mannerisms, comes across as obvious and even irritating. Setting the mood early on by flashing back from Nicholson's final fate and dissolving from flying crows to a stark wintry landscape, Penn allows the story to flow at a languid pace, which probably didn't please audiences fooled by the trailer into expecting an action movie, but does allow his actors to explore their characters to the fullest extent the screenplay by Jerzy Kromolowski and Mary Olson-Kromolowski will allow. Long on tense atmosphere but short on thrills, THE PLEDGE is a triumph of substance over style and works nicely as a workshop for actors.

Also with Aaron Eckhart, Sam Shepard, Patricia Clarkson, Helen Mirren, Tom Noonan, Michael OKeefe, Costas Mandylor, Vanessa Redgrave, Lois Smith, Mickey Rourke, Harry Dean Stanton, Franciose Yip and Brittany Tiplady. Music by Hans Zimmer and Klaus Badelt. British Columbia substitutes for the film's Nevada setting. Based on a Dutch novel by Friedrich Durrenmatt.

POCKET MONEY (1973)--Directed by Stuart Rosenberg. Stars Paul Newman, Lee Marvin. Quirky, amiable comedy about a slow-witted cowboy (Newman) and his drunken conman pal (Marvin) who team up to bring a herd of cattle from Mexico to Arizona. Screenplay by Terrence Malick (BADLANDS) meanders a bit, and the plot isn't terribly strong, but the two leads seem to be having a great time working together. Also with Strother Martin and Wayne Rogers.

POINT BLANK (1967)--Directed by John Boorman. Stars Lee Marvin, John Vernon, Angie Dickinson, Carroll O'Connor. Violent cult film stars Marvin as a hood out for revenge against his partner (Vernon), who shot Marvin and left him for dead. Boorman uses tricky camera angles and interesting locations to keep things moving. The violence is unusually strong. Marvin gives one of his best performances. Good supporting cast includes Sharon Acker, Keenan Wynn, Lloyd Bochner, Sid Haig and James B. Sikking. Vernon's first American film (he's from Canada). Major cult film in Europe. Script by Alexander Jacobs and David Newhouse is based on a novel by Donald E. Westlake. From the director of DELIVERANCE.

POINT BLANK (1997)--Directed by Matt Earl Beesley.  Stars Mickey Rourke, Kevin Gage, Danny Trejo.  Mickey barely looks human in this movie.  His skin is brown and leathery, his hair looks like a discolored toupee, his muscles are huge and misshapen, he walks funny, and he speaks maybe 100 words in the whole film.  He's miscast as an action star, which is especially apparent when "Mickey" eludes gunfire by performing a wild series of ninja backflips that would awe Olga Korbut.  Former Texas Ranger Rudy Ray (Rourke) comes to the rescue when his brother Joe (Gage), on death row for killing a drug dealer, escapes from his prison bus and, along with several psychotic ex-cons, takes a mall hostage.  Bang bang--the bad guys go down like fish in a barrel when Rudy gets all DIE HARD on them, while simultaneously trying to help Joe reach freedom.  Jim Bannon's screenplay is poor even by bad-movie standards; a mall, at least this one, is terribly difficult to keep secure, and it's impossible to believe the cops surrounding the place would be unable to storm it.  The actors are left to their own devices with little aid from Beesley, which is why Trejo rants, raves and shoves his face into a mound of cocaine while a sexy hostage willingly (!) does a pole-shaking striptease act for him.  Filmed in Fort Worth, Texas.  Also with Frederic Forrest, Paul Ben-Victor, Nina Savelle and James Gammon.  Music by Steve Edwards.

POINT BREAK (1991)—Directed by Kathryn Bigelow. Stars Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey. James Cameron was the executive producer of this ridiculous and thoroughly watchable action movie that has developed a cult following. Green FBI agent Johnny Utah (Reeves) and his older partner Angelo Pappas (Busey) are on the trail of professional bank robbers called the Ex-Presidents who strike while wearing rubber masks of Chief Executives Reagan, Johnson, Carter, and Nixon. Pappas suspects the crooks, who never harm anyone, are surfers, so Utah goes undercover at the Malibu. beaches. He becomes close to a philosophical surfer named Bodhi (Swayze), which puts Johnny in a corner when he comes to suspect Bodhi is Reagan.

As previously mentioned, POINT BREAK is supremely silly, which strangely works to its advantage. From the opening scene featuring Utah’s FBI supervisor writing a report on a clipboard while standing in pouring rain to Reeves’ awkward performance as an ex-football star named, you know, Johnny Utah, POINT BREAK is not to be taken seriously, nor does it want to be. Bigelow is a very fine director of action scenes, including a witty foot chase and a crackerjack shootout inside a house. With Swayze and Reeves able and willing to do a lot of stunts, the movie delivers a visceral rush to match the macho energy of its stars. Busey is an amusing choice to play an undercover agent, and Reeves and Swayze have found the perfect vehicle for their wooden charms. Also with Lori Petty, John McGinley, James LeGros, Lee Tergesen, Bojesse Christopher, John Philbin, Jack Kehler, Mike Genovese, Julie Michaels, and Tom Sizemore. Music by Mark Isham. The director was married to Cameron at the time.

THE POINT MEN (2001)--Directed by John Glen.  Stars Christopher Lambert, Kerry Fox, Vincent Regan, Maryam d'Abo.  This globetrotting espionage adventure went straight to video in the United States.  Lambert (HIGHLANDER) plays Tony Eckhardt, a member of an elite Israeli Secret Service unit comprised entirely of foreigners and based in Luxembourg.  Called "The Foreign Legion", Tony's squad is disbanded after their assassination attempt on PLO terrorist Amar Kamil (Regan) causes an international incident.  Some members, like Tony, settle for unfulfilling desk jobs; others leave the agency for new careers in New York and Monaco.  But when they start dying one by one in what appear to be random accidents, Tony's suspicions that Amar survived the attempt on his life become more plausible.  Ridley Highsmith's (FALLEN KNIGHT) screenplay attempts to stretch the boundaries of what is basically a simple revenge plot, adding layers of international intrigue and themes of family and trust.  Director Glen, a veteran of several James Bond movies (including THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS, which also co-starred d'Abo), is perfect for this type of epic action picture, juggling a myriad of exotic settings (including Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Monaco and New York City) and an overly complex storyline like a master craftsman.  There are a few red herrings that don't work (such as a framing device that suggests Lambert doesn't survive the movie), but THE POINT MEN is a smart, steady spy movie that might have been a modest theatrical hit if Columbia Tri-Star had been brave enough to release it there.  Also with Donald Sumpter, Oliver Haden, William Armstrong, Cal Macaninch and Nicolas de Pruyssenaere.  THE POINT MEN was Glen's first film in nine years and his last to date.

You probably know the story already. It's New Year's Eve on the S.S. Poseidon, and a "rogue wave" pulls its head out of the screenwriter's ass just long enough to tip the boat upside-down. Captain Braugher tries to hold things together, but a small group of survivors attempts to navigate their way to the propeller tubes. Among them are professional gambler Lucas, former New York City mayor Russell, gay Dreyfuss, Russell's daughter (Rossum) and her fiancé, a single mom (Barrett) and a little kid, Johnny Drama (Dillon), a Latina stowaway (Maestro) and her hookup (Rodriguez). Some make it, some don't. You probably won't care who.

Wolfgang Petersen may be a better director than Ronald Neame, but he doesn't do a better job of telling a story than Neame did in THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. For instance, why was everyone going to the top/botton of the ship? What did they expect to find? The question comes up in ADVENTURE, and Gene Hackman tells them: hope. No one asks in POSEIDON; they simply head to the top because the screenplay tells them too. Of course, if Lucas had known all along there was going to be a large raft waiting that was just big enough to hold all the survivors, it would make sense. I mean, what kind of deus ex machina is that?

One scene that should have worked is the one in which Dreyfuss sacrifices another man's life to save his own. On paper, it may have been written as a powerful moment--what could be more emotional than a regular Joe "killing" another man in a desperate act of self-preservation? However, the setup is awkward (why would the guy tell Dreyfuss to go first?), the scene happens too quickly, and it occurs too early in the movie, so we don't know either character well enough yet to have sympathy for them. I can't say I was disappointed by POSEIDON, because I wasn't expecting much (certainly not nine minutes of closing credits), but it really is an unexciting waste of time. It doesn't even have a Christmas tree! Also with Mike Vogel, Stacy “Fergie” Ferguson, Gordon Thomson and Kelly McNair. Music by Klaus Bedelt.

THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972)--Directed by Ronald Neame. Stars Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Shelley Winters, Jack Albertson, Roddy McDowell, Carol Lynley, Stella Stevens, Red Buttons, Leslie Nielsen, Pamela Sue Martin. A luxury cruise ship is overturned by a tidal wave on New Year's Eve. The few survivors include a radical priest that swears (Hackman), an overbearing cop (Borgnine) and his ex-prostitute wife (Stevens), a middle-aged Jewish couple (Winters and Albertson), and a pretty teenage girl (Martin). They and the rest of the all-star supporting cast must climb to the top...er, bottom...of the upside-down ship to reach safety. Highlight is the portly Winters's underwater swim. Look for the line of spit running from Hackman's mouth to her forehead during her death scene. One of the best of the '70s disaster film cycle. Oscar winner for special effects. Song, "The Morning After", sung by Maureen McGovern.

POSSE (1993)--Directed by Mario Van Peebles. Stars Mario Van Peebles, Stephen Baldwin, Billy Zane, Richard Jordan. Van Peebles leads a band of ex-soldier/outlaws in this pretty good blaxploitation western. Filled with action, vengeance and familiar faces, including Big Daddy Kane, Tone Loc, Tiny Lister, Salli Richardson, Pam Grier, Isaac Hayes, Robert Hooks, Melvin Van Peebles, Blair Underwood, Paul Bartel, Nipsey Russell and Woody Strode. Zane and Jordan (in one of his last roles) are the bigoted white-guy villains.

POSSE FROM HELL (1961)—Directed by Herbert Coleman.  Stars Audie Murphy, John Saxon, Vic Morrow, Zohra Lampert, Robert Keith, Royal Dano, Paul Carr, Lee Van Cleef.  Deputy Audie goes after a band of four vicious outlaws who shot up the town of Paradise, robbed the bank of $11,000, and kidnapped Helen Caldwell (Lampert) to use as a hostage.  While Murphy would rather go it alone (the easier to get revenge against the men who killed his friend the marshal), he is stuck with an inexperienced posse that includes dandy Easterner Seymour (Saxon), Helen’s grief-stricken uncle (Dano), over-confident crack shot Jock (Carr) and blustery Union captain Brown (Keith).  Since Morrow and Van Cleef are members of the outlaw gang, you should have a decent idea of how nasty the protagonists are in this Universal-International western.  This and a Murphy war movie, BATTLE AT BLOODY BEACH, are the extent of Coleman’s feature directing career.  Working steadily during the 1950s as Alfred Hitchcock’s producer, Coleman went back to that position after getting the directing bug out of his system.  Also with Rodolfo Acosta, Frank Overton and Ward Ramsey.

THE POSTMAN (1997)--Directed by Kevin Costner. Stars Kevin Costner, Will Patton, Olivia Williams. Kevin's first film as director since his Oscar-winning DANCES WITH WOLVES was this $80 million three-hour post-apocalyptic flop. Costner's epic ego trip takes place in 2013, after some sort of war and plague has destroyed the United States. He plays a drifter who finds an abandoned mail truck and the skeleton of a former U.S. Postal Service carrier, and gets the idea to pretend to be a member of the newly established U.S. Government (the capital of which is in Minneapolis) in order to get free food and supplies from surviving settlements. He adopts the guise of The Postman, which begins to backfire when his fictitious story begins to raise the hopes of the people he meets of a better tomorrow (The Postman says the new President, Richard Starkey [the real name of Beatle Ringo Starr], has a slogan--"Stuff's getting better!"). Also, the countryside is being terrorized by General Bethlehem (a miscast Patton, who worked with Costner in NO WAY OUT), a tyrannical despot who leads an army known as the Clan and travels the wasteland robbing, raping, and pillaging the poor. Bethlehem sees The Postman as a symbol of hope, which makes Costner a threat to Bethlehem's rule.

The problem with all this is that it isn't good enough (or even bad enough) to be very entertaining. The script by Eric Roth (FORREST GUMP) and Brian Helgeland (L.A. CONFIDENTIAL) was heavily rewritten by Costner, and contains so many plot contrivances (how can Patton NOT recognize The Postman later, since he recruited Costner into his army earlier in the film?), clunky lines ("You pass out hope like it was candy from your pocket"), underdeveloped characters and meandering sequences that it seems as though Costner was trying to figure out what kind of film to make. THE POSTMAN isn't an action film or a romance or a Civil War allegory or a science-fiction story, although it contains elements of all these genres. Warner Brothers had such a tough time trying to sell it that the studio's marketing director was fired after its box-office collapse. However, the film's intentions are so honest and well-meaning that it's tough to be too hard on it. Even though THE POSTMAN was one of the most critically lambasted movies of the decade, it isn't as bad as youve heard. But it isn't good either. Also with Larenz Tate, Daniel Von Bergen, Tom Petty, Giovanni Ribisi, Joe Santos, Peggy Lipton and all of Costner's children in small roles. James Newton Howard provided the majestic score. Costner even sings (with Amy Grant) the closing theme! And it's a cover of a '60s Lovin' Spoonful hit ("You Didn't Have To Be So Nice")! Done as a ballad!

P.O.W. THE ESCAPE (1986)--Directed by Gideon Amir.  Stars David Carradine, Mako, Steve James.  Carradine got the Cannon Group's B-team in this loose remake of MISSING IN ACTION 2.  While Chuck Norris and Michael Dudikoff were working with directors like Sam Firstenberg and Joseph Zito, cinematographer Joao Fernandes and composer Jay Chattaway, Carradine was sweating it out in the Philippines with AMERICAN NINJA producer Amir, who had never before directed.  It isn't great, but P.O.W. THE ESCAPE, despite its dumb title, is a serviceable action movie that stars Carradine as Colonel James Cooper, who is captured by the Cong and placed in a prisoner-of-war camp run by sadistic Vinh (Mako).  A propaganda victory for the VC, Cooper is due to be transported to Saigon in two days time.  But Vinh offers him a deal--help Vinh to defect to the United States in exchange for passage of all the prisoners to safety.  Vinh, of course, has a trick or two up his sleeve, but so does Cooper, who must also contend with a traitor within his ranks and a Vietnamese army dead set on blasting his men to Kingdom Come.  James has little to do as a POW, but Amir's film provides a bit of "escape", although don't expect anything on the level of Norris' MIA trilogy or PLATOON LEADER.

PRAY FOR THE WILDCATS (1974)--Directed by Robert Michael Lewis.  Stars Andy Griffith, William Shatner, Robert Reed, Marjoe Gortner, Angie Dickinson, Lorraine Gary, Janet Margolin.  Amazing!  Hilarious!  Bizarre!  Don't miss!  One of the strangest made-for-television movies of the 1970's, a decade filled with oddball made-for-TV movies. Undoubtedly intended as a desert-set DELIVERANCE ripoff, WILDCATS stars William "Captain Kirk" Shatner, Robert "Mike Brady" Reed and Marjoe Gortner (a former child evangelist/con artist) as advertising executives who attempt to suck up to their aggressive, wealthy client by accompanying him on a motorcycle jaunt through the desert to Baja. The client, a bully named Farragut, is portrayed by Andy of Mayberry in an unbelievable performance of excess and wild indulgence.

While their frustrated wives and girlfriends stew at home, the city boys set out across the barren sand, a grueling journey that becomes even more so when they discover that Andy is more than just a cruel businessman--he's also a horny, drunken psychopath whose tequila-drenched run-in with a couple of hippies turns ugly in a hurry. When the hot cockteasing blond hippie refuses to give it up to Andy--even for $100--he spikes the radiator of their groovy VW bus with a handy axe and leaves them in the desert to die. Later, when the wimpy ad guys begin to piece together what happens, Jack Turley's teleplay gets all bogged down in middle-aged meaning-of-life speeches, as milquetoasts Reed and Shatner discuss taking acid and geeky, with-it Gortner sells out to piggyback onto Griffith's promises of big money.

Occasionally, director Robert Michael Lewis beams us back home for a quick update on the desperate housewives--Reed's loveless marriage to Angie Dickinson and Shatner's dull marriage to Lorraine Gary have resulted in Angie and Bill having boring, adulterous sex (I imagine they were used to it, seeing as they played a nude sex scene together in BIG BAD MAMA the same year, 1974), while Marjoe's comely girlfriend, Janet Margolin, considers whether or not to abort their pregnancy.

Alternately hilarious and bizarre, PRAY FOR THE WILDCATS is unquestionably a must-see for Crappy Movie fans. One thing that fascinates me is the production's choice of wardrobe; the cast is dressed in motocross outfits that look remarkably like the velour shirts and black pants worn by the Enterprise crew on STAR TREK, and whenever you see Shatner on-screen in his trademark gold tunic, you can't help but wonder whether you've stumbled upon TREK's Lost 80th Episode, in which Captain Kirk finds himself transported in time and TV Land to an alternate universe where the Bradys live in Mayberry, RFD.  Music by Fred Myrow (PHANTASM).  From the director of GUILTY OR INNOCENT: THE SAM SHEPPARD MURDER CASE.

PREDATOR (1987)--Directed by John McTiernan. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke. Exciting, well-crafted action picture about a team of American mercenaries led by Arnold, who are sent on a mission into a South American jungle. They find themselves being killed off one at a time by a scary-looking monster from outer space. The visual effects and action scenes are well handled by McTiernan, who is assisted by an accomplished cast. Screenplay by Jim and John Thomas. Also with Sonny Landham, Jesse Ventura and 7-foot Kevin Peter Hall as the alien. Jean-Claude Van Damme supposedly did some of the creature's stunts. Music by Alan Silvestri has never been released as a soundtrack album. From the director of DIE HARD.

PREDATOR: THE QUIETUS (1988)—Directed by Leslie McCarthy. Stars Cordelia Roche, Mike Sullivan, Darryl Marchant. MGM HD aired this British horror film so obscure it doesn’t even appear in the Internet Movie Database. Why any network would pull this clunker out of mothballs is beyond me. In addition to its clumsy title, PREDATOR: THE QUIETUS offers terrible acting, worse music, and an incomprehensible screenplay. Tabloid reporter Kelly O’Neal (Roche) and big game hunter Daniel Cane (Sullivan) are assigned to wander some moors in search of a man-eating beast. We know it exists, because we see it kill (off-screen) young lovers and a little boy. In fact, all the good stuff happens elsewhere—like another movie. This is one of the dullest films I’ve ever seen. Lots of jibber-jabber going on, and when we finally see the creature, well, it ain’t exactly a Rob Bottin creation. Awful stuff.

PREDATOR 2 (1990)--Directed by Stephen Hopkins. Stars Danny Glover, Maria Conchita Alonzo, Gary Busey. The original film's writers, brothers Jim and John Thomas, also scripted this thrilling sequel, set in downtown Los Angeles. It's 1997, and police are almost powerless against the numerous drug gangs shooting up the city. When one gang is found slaughtered in an abandoned building that the cops have surrounded, detective Glover and his team are brought in to investigate. Their job isn't easy, since creepy government agent Busey is also on the case. Of course, the Predator (or his kin) has once again decided to go hunting for human trophies. Hopkins keeps the action at a brisk pace, and an interesting cast (including Bill Paxton, Ruben Blades and Robert Davi) adds to the premise's believability. The urban jungle of Los Angeles is an exciting setting for the Predator's hunt. More gory than the original. Also with Calvin Lockhart, Morton Downey Jr., Kent McCord (ADAM-12), Adam Baldwin, Teri Weigel and Kevin Peter Hall as the Predator. Music by Alan Silvestri. From the director of BLOWN AWAY.

THE PREMONITION (1999)--Directed by David S. Cass, Sr. Stars Burt Reynolds, Charles Durning, Bruce Dern, Gigi Rice. Second in a series of movies made for TNT cable starring Reynolds as Miami detective Logan McQueen. At the end of the first movie, McQueen was imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit, and this sequel opens with him in prison, where he meets a Death Row serial killer named Winslow (Dern). Reynolds is released from prison, only to be recruited by the cops to help solve a series of car bombings--murders that Winslow claims to see in his nightmares before they are committed. Reynolds wears an awful, long, white toupee with a ponytail during the jail scenes, and is let down by a pedestrian script and boring action sequences. Dern chews the scenery the way only he can, and Durning turns in fine work with little screen time as Reynolds' ex-partner. Flashbacks to the first Logan McQueen movie, HARD TIME, make it look like it might be worth seeing. Also with Roscoe Lee Browne, Richard Riehle, Michael DeLuise and Michael Buie. Music by Snuff Garrett. Also known as HARD TIME II: THE PREMONITION.

PRESCRIPTION: MURDER (1968)--Directed by Richard Irving.  Stars Peter Falk, Gene Barry, Katherine Justice, Nina Foch.  Where it all began.  When Falk first put on Lieutenant Columbo's shaggy raincoat for this Universal TV-movie in 1968, who could have known that he would still be wearing that same raincoat (and it is the same raincoat; it came straight from Falk's own closet) in the 21st century.  Adapted by Richard Levinson and William Link from their own play, which starred character actor Thomas Mitchell as Columbo, MURDER sets the formula for nearly every Columbo adventure yet to come, most importantly by squaring the slovenly detective off against a real smoothie, his opposite in style, played by Barry (BURKE'S LAW).  Barry, who never made a return appearance to the COLUMBO-verse, is the quintessential Columbo villain--suave, urbane, cold, clever and arrogant.  In other words, the perfect foil for Falk, whose rumpled appearance, absentmindedness, short stature and acute politeness masked an intelligence and an eye for details that always led to the killer's demise.

Six teenagers go hiking in the forest—stop me if you’ve heard this before—where somebody had recently killed a middle-aged couple with an axe. If you aren’t driven mad by the interminable nature photography and the characters’ banal dinner conversations that lead up to them, you may enjoy the gory murders, which are being committed by a horribly burned crazed gypsy (Struychen) who’s looking for love in all the wrong places. Meanwhile, a banjo-pickin’ forest ranger (Bostwick, just off his gig as Captain Marvel in SHAZAM!) and his old coot partner (Coogan in his last role) pad the running time with stories about cucumber sandwiches and widemouthed frogs.

The director and his producer wife went back to making porn films after this one-off legit flick, which is incompetent, but strangely compelling in its simplicity. Filmed near Palm Springs, California in 1978, but didn’t see release for another six years. New World reportedly cut the film way down for release, but the longer version is said to be out there somewhere.

PRIMAL FEAR (1996)--Directed by Gregory Hoblit. Stars Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Edward Norton, John Mahoney. I have to say that I am a sucker for overwrought courtroom dramas like this one. This thriller, based upon a novel by William Diehl, tosses one implausibility after another into the mix until eventually you're forced to sit back in awe at the absurdity of it all. Gere is perfectly cast as an arrogant, publicity-seeking Chicago defense attorney who takes a case involving a 19-year-old Kentucky altar boy accused of stabbing an archbishop 78 times. Since clergymen in movies like this are always involved in sordid affairs, it's no surprise to see the screenplay (co-written by Steve Shagan) introduce elements of pornography, corruption, organized crime and multiple personality disorder, to name just a few. Hoblit, an Emmy-winning director with credits on groundbreaking crime series such as L.A. LAW and NYPD BLUE making his feature debut here, should know better than to let the courtroom histrionics get out of hand, but maybe that's why we like films like this. After seeing the Simpson trial tediously unfold before us on Court TV, we now know fiction is much more exciting (if not necessarily more interesting) than the real thing. PRIMAL FEAR (I have no idea what the title means) has a slick look, some nice Chicago locations, a good cast (including Maura Tierney, Andre Braugher, Alfre Woodard and Joe Spano), a nice, smarmy performance by Gere, and an Oscar-nominated performance by Norton (in his first major role) as the accused killer. If you can allow your disbelief to be willfully suspended, you may just have a good time.

PRIME CUT (1972)--Directed by Michael Ritchie.  Stars Lee Marvin, Gene Hackman, Sissy Spacek.  This brutal thriller plays more like a cheap grindhouse item than a studio film with major stars.  Marvin is tough Chicago hitman Nick Devlin, assigned by the Syndicate to rub out Kansas City mob boss Mary Ann (Hackman), who stiffed the mob for a bunch of dough and turned the last three triggermen who came gunning for him into sausages at his meat plant.  Mary Ann is also in the white slavery trade, kidnapping teenaged orphans and showcasing them nude in his cattle pens for prospective customers.  One such slave is Poppy, played by 22-year-old Spacek in her first major film and doing full-frontal nudity to boot.  Ritchie provides a couple of ace action scenes, including a chase across a wheat field with Marvin and Spacek running from a pursuing combine.  Gregory Walcott is frightening as Mary Ann's sadistic brother Weenie, who habitually chomps on raw hot dogs.  Also with Eddie Egan, Les Lannom, Howard Platt, Bill Morey and Janit Baldwin.  Music by Lalo Schifrin.  This was likely made before, but released after, THE FRENCH CONNECTION made Hackman a superstar.

PRIVATE DETECTIVE (1939)--Directed by Noel M. Smith.  Stars Jane Wyman, Dick Foran.  A little bit of THE THIN MAN and a bit of MOONLIGHTING as sexy private eye Jinx (Wyman) and her policeman fiancé Jim (Foran) are thrown together to investigate a murder.  This Warner Brothers B-pic is less than an hour long and is good fun.  The banter between Foran and the delightful Wyman is terrifically good-humored, and even though the mystery plot won’t tax your brain very much, it’s hard not to have a good time with these actors.  Also with Morgan Conway, Maxie Rosenbloom, Gloria Dickson, Leo Gorcey and Willie Best.

THE PRIZE FIGHTER (1979)--Directed by Michael Peerce. Stars Don Knotts, Tim Conway, David Wayne. Fun for those under ten as incompetent boxer Conway and nervous manager Knotts fall prey to fight fixing in the 1930s. Pratfalls, one-liners, sight gags and slapstick galore.

PRIZZI'S HONOR (1985)--Directed by John Huston. Stars Jack Nicholson, Kathleen Turner, Anjelica Huston, William Hickey. Offbeat black comedy about a pair of rival mob hitmen (Nicholson and Turner) who meet, fall in love, marry and are finally hired to rub each other out. Nicholson is interesting in a character-type role, and Anjelica Huston received a Best Supporting Actress Oscar as Nicholson's former flame, which she was in real life.

THE PRODUCERS (1968)--Directed by Mel Brooks. Stars Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder, Kenneth Mars, Dick Shawn. Brooks's directing debut was this riotous comedy about a theatrical producer (Mostel) who hopes to make a fortune by making a play so bad that it will close early and he'll be able to keep the rest of his investors' money. With the assistance of his accountant (Wilder), Mostel sells 25,000% of the play to wealthy old ladies and produces a script called SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER, a musical starring a spaced-out hippie (Shawn) as Hitler. The play becomes a hit when audiences accept it as a brilliant satire. Brooks's Oscar-winning screenplay is full of funny scenes, and Shawn is hilarious as "LSD". The "Springtime for Hitler" production number with dancing Nazis is one of the most priceless moments ever put on film.

THE PROFESSIONAL (1994)--Directed by Luc Besson. Stars Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, Natalie Portman, Danny Aiello, Ellen Greene. This French-made thriller received much critical acclaim, but I wasn't that impressed by it. Some corrupt New York City drug cops (led by an out-of-control Oldman) are out to get a Sicilian hitman (Reno) who is the mentor to a cute, 13-year-old survivor of a dope massacre (Portman), and is teaching her to follow in his footsteps. Portman is a very natural actress, and should have years of acclaim ahead of her. Filmed in New York and France. From the director of THE FIFTH ELEMENT.

THE PROFESSIONALS (1966)--Directed by Richard Brooks. Stars Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan, Woody Strode, Jack Palance, Claudia Cardinale, Ralph Bellamy. This exciting Western was hugely popular with filmgoers, and was a major influence on action-adventure films of the late '60s and 1970s. When Mexican bandit Palance kidnaps the gorgeous wife (Cardinale) of a wealthy American cattle baron (Bellamy), four soldiers-of-fortune are hired to go into Mexico and bring her back. The adventurers are chosen because of their varied talents: an explosives expert (Lancaster), a gunfighter (Marvin), a horse trainer (Ryan), and an archer (Strode). The four leads are rugged and tough, and Brooks's direction is right on target. Brooks also wrote the screenplay; Conrad Hall's cinematography won an Academy Award.

PULP FICTION (1994)--Directed by Quentin Tarantino. Stars John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis. Probably the most-talked-about and most-imitated film of the '90s, it won the Palm d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, and was Miramax's most successful release. A number of pulp-inspired crime stories are mixed together, and the characters include a pair of erudite hitmen (Jackson and Travolta in a much-publicized comeback role), a mobster and his moll, a punch-drunk boxer (Willis), and a pair of white-trash armed robbers. Tarantino and Roger Avary's Oscar-winning screenplay sets up its own narrative logic, using flashbacks and flashforwards, and sometimes filming the same scene through the eyes of two or three different characters. Some parts may make you squeamish, and Tarantino's video-store-clerk background provides a number of homages and references to old films, but PULP is absolutely an original film and an exciting work by one of America's most interesting filmmakers. Also with Ving Rhames, Tim Roth, Amanda Plummer, Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi (as Buddy Holly), Eric Stoltz, Rosanna Arquette, Maria De Medeiros, Christopher Walken, Peter Greene and Julia Sweeney. Dick Miller's bit as Monster Joe was cut out of the final print. Nominated for seven Oscars, including Best Picture.

THE PUMA MAN (1979)--Directed by Alberto de Martino. Stars Donald Pleasence, Walter George Alton, Sydne Rome. One of the most ridiculous superhero flicks ever made. It's an Italian production filmed in English and set in London. The lead character is an American professor (Alton) who is the descendent of a series of puma men, who use their powers to fight evil. A hulking South American Aztec without superpowers, who tosses the prospective Puma Man out of a third-story window in order to test his strength, mentors the Puma Man. Pleasence is the villain. The flying FX are beyond awful. Skewered on MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000.

PUMPKINHEAD (1988)--Directed by Stan Winston. Stars Lance Henriksen, Jeff East, John D'Aquino. Oscar-winning FX wizard Winston made his directorial debut with this effective backwoods horror movie with a well-designed monster suit and a strong performance by Henriksen, who plays a hillbilly in the Deep South who runs a tiny roadside fruit stand. After his son is accidentally killed by a group of obnoxious, rich, big-city teenagers, Henriksen, who witnessed some of the demon's handiwork as a child, conjures up a mythical seven-foot monster called Pumpkinhead by the locals to wreak vengeance upon the six campers. Film basically progresses TEN LITTLE INDIANS-style from here, with the twist that Henriksen eventually realizes that revenge is wrong, that he is beginning to identify a bit too closely with the monster, and that only through his own demise can Pumpkinhead be destroyed. The young actors aren't really too convincing, but Henriksen (MILLENNIUM) is great at projecting every emotion the script calls for--strength, anger, frustration, fear. Tom Woodruff Jr., who also designed it, wore the creature suit. Co-writer Mark Patrick Carducci committed suicide in 1997. D'Aquino went on to appear in Steven Spielberg's SEAQUEST DSV series; East played the young Clark Kent in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE.

PUMPKINHEAD: ASHES TO ASHES (2006)—Directed by Jake West.  Stars Doug Bradley, Lance Henriksen.  Ignoring the long-forgotten events of PUMPKINHEAD 2 (which starred Roger Clinton as President Bubba!), this sequel was lensed in Romania and premiered on the Sci-Fi Channel before its 2007 DVD release.  It isn’t bad, but lacks originality and a sense of purpose.  Henriksen, who starred in the very good original PUMPKINHEAD, pops up occasionally as the ghost of Ed Harley, a role that makes no sense really and exists only to use Henriksen’s name in the advertising.  Bradley (from the HELLRAISER movies) is the real star, playing a sinister small-town mortician who slices up his cadavers and steals their organs to sell on the black market.  When his plan is exposed, the townspeople want revenge for their desecrated loved ones, and conjure the legendary Pumpkinhead to do the deed.  The film then plays out almost exactly like the original with no real surprises—just occasional murders performed by a Pumpkinhead that’s a lot less scary than Stan Winston’s creature costume in the ’88 film.  Much of the Romanian supporting cast is dubbed by actors wielding dodgy redneck accents.  Henriksen stuck around to appear in another direct-to-Sci-Fi-Channel sequel, PUMPKINHEAD: BLOOD WINGS, shot back-to-back with this one.

THE PUNISHER (1989)--Directed by Mark Goldblatt.  Stars Dolph Lundgren, Louis Gossett Jr., Jeroen Krabbe, Kim Miyori.  New World Pictures produced this adaptation of a Marvel comic book character in Australia, but went bankrupt before it could be released.  After sitting on a shelf for a couple of years, it ended up going directly to video in the U.S.  The delay probably contributed to its reputation as a rotten film, but it's not half bad as an action movie if you don't expect much, and it's certainly better than other movies about Marvel superheroes from that era, such as CAPTAIN AMERICA and the unreleased THE FANTASTIC FOUR.  Five years after cop Frank Castle (Lundgren) and his family were killed by a car bomb, the city has experienced a mysterious wave of vigilante justice in which 125 suspected criminals and mobsters have been murdered.  The culprit, as Castle's former partner Jake (Gossett) suspects, is Castle himself, who survived the blast and is obsessed with "punishing the guilty".  If I was a bad guy, I'd operate in some other town, but there's no shortage of villains for Castle to dispatch in this movie, including mob boss Krabbe and Yakuza assassin Miyori.  Ace editor Goldblatt, directing his second and final film, pieces together several decent action scenes and a surprisingly high body count.  Lundgren, at the time, wasn't much of an actor, but when he lets his big guns do his talking for him, he's an effective action star.  Also with Nancy Everhard and Barry Otto.  Music by Dennis Dreith.  Lions Gate produced a big-budget remake in 2004 that starred Tom Jane.  The Punisher made his debut in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #129.

THE PUNISHER (2004)--Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh.  Stars Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Laura Harring, Samantha Mathis, Roy Scheider.  Hensleigh, a screenwriter of action blockbusters like ARMAGEDDON and DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE, made his directorial debut with this tough, gritty adaptation of Marvel's comic-book anti-hero.  FBI agent Frank Castle (Jane) is involved in an elaborate sting that results in the death of Bobby Saint, the son of Tampa mobster Howard Saint (Travolta).  It's Castle's final case, and before moving to London with his wife (Mathis) and young son, the Castles make a stop in Puerto Rico for a family reunion with Frank's father (Scheider), mother and assorted aunts, uncles and cousins.  Out of vengeance and the wishes of his grieving wife Livia (Harring), Saint orders the massacre of Castle's entire family.  Frank somehow manages to survive the attack and becomes an anonymous administer of justice, shacking up in a Tampa tenement and plotting his revenge against Saint's empire.

Hensleigh handles the assignment in a manner that looks fresh to today's audiences, largely eschewing CGI effects and implausible action sequences in favor of taut, old-school editing, cinematography, pacing and stuntwork.  The screenplay by Hensleigh and Michael France frames the brooding action against a realistic background of violence and despair, painting Castle as a potential alcoholic who originally approaches his revenge scheme as a last desperate act, only to finally encounter humanity in the form of misfit neighbors who don't hesitate to do "the right thing", even when the chips are down.

THE PUNISHER represents an action picture the way it should be--cleanly photographed and edited with actual stuntmen doing actual stunts and setting off actual explosions. This makes the action and violence more believable, thus the characters' plight is more believable.  Most of the casting, including rocky Jane in pure action-hero mode and Will Patton as Saint's sadistic right hand, works, although Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is too gorgeous to be living in a dump like Castle's and Travolta is miscast in a role screaming for Lance Henriksen.  And not handing the role of a burly Russian bodybuilder assassin, essayed by pro wrestler Kevin Nash, to original Punisher actor Dolph Lundgren is unforgivable.  Filmed in Tampa, Florida.  Jane, who shortened his professional handle to "Tom" Jane during pre-release publicity, is slated to return in a sequel.

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (2008)—Directed by Lexi Alexander. Stars Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Julie Benz, Doug Hutchison. It’s no secret that Marvel Comics writer Gerry Conway was thinking of Pinnacle’s hugely popular paperback vigilante Mack Bolan—aka the Executioner—when he created the character of Frank Castle as a foe for Spider-Man in 1974’s THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #129. Rough, taciturn, and intimidating in his all-black threads with ghostly white skull logo, the Punisher soon became one of Marvel’s most popular characters—nearly as popular as Spidey himself. He even made it to the big screen before Spider-Man in 1989’s THE PUNISHER, a reasonably entertaining Dolph Lundgren vehicle that was made with too little money and too little inspiration.

Surprisingly, Lionsgate’s previous crack at the material, 2004’s THE PUNISHER, which stayed much closer to Castle’s comic-book pedigree than the New World picture, was not a major hit, despite Thomas Jane’s believable performance and Jonathan Hensleigh’s smart direction that played down CGI mayhem in favor of old-fashioned bloodshed. For the sequel, the studio hedged its bets, lowering the budget to ensure some level of profit margin and capitalizing on the surprising success of its ultra-violent RAMBO sequel by ramping the mayhem to an absurd level.

Directed by German karate champion and stuntwoman Lexi Alexander, PUNISHER: WAR ZONE finds both hero and baddie out for revenge. Castle (Stevenson), of course, despises the Mafia after they were responsible for the murders of his family. Handsome mobster Billy “the Beaut” Russoti (West) blames the Punisher for the hideously scarred face he earned in a bloody showdown against him. Now the hideously scarred Jigsaw, Russoti busts his even crazier brother Looney Bin Jim (Hutchison) out of prison and lays siege to New York City.

Among Jigsaw’s victims is Angela Donatelli (Benz, also in RAMBO), the sister of an FBI agent accidentally killed by Castle during his raid on Russoti’s lair. Castle contemplates retiring because of his collateral damage, but is forced to reconsider after Jigsaw captures Angela and her daughter.

No question about it. Alexander has delivered a raucous, wild action movie with moments of wry humor reminiscent of the lean programmers Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Norris used to make in the 1980s. Tall, stoic Stevenson is completely believable as Marvel’s two-gun man of action and is a startling counterbalance to the cackling eccentrics played by West and Hutchison, who look and act like leftovers from a Dick Tracy mystery. Stunts, shootouts, and fisticuffs are first-rate. Most surprising is the film’s crisp, colorful production design that complements and doesn’t overwhelm the sharp action scenes.

The Punisher punches right through a guy’s skull, blasts a Parkour killer in mid-air with a bazooka, and shoots about ninety mobsters while twirling upside down from a chandelier. Take those Matt Damon Jason Boredom movies and ram them up your ass. PUNISHER: WAR ZONE is a balls-to-the-wall action flick that makes other comic-book movies look like kiddie matinees. Also with Wayne Knight, Dash Mihok, Mark Camacho, and Colin Salmon. Music by Wayne Wandmacher.

THE PUPPET MASTERS (1995)--Directed by Stuart Orme. Stars Donald Sutherland, Eric Thal, Julie Warner. This neat little horror flick was based on a novel by acclaimed science-fiction author Robert A. Heinlein. The film bears a strong similarity to a number of well-done B-pics of the 1950s, such as Don Siegel's original INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS and FIEND WITHOUT A FACE starring Marshall Thompson. Aliens resembling slimy jellyfish have invaded Iowa, and are turning humans into zombies. They accomplish this by attaching themselves to a person's back and puncturing their subject's brain with their tentacles, allowing the creatures to control our thoughts and actions. A super-secret government agency, led by Sutherland, sets out to stop the invasion. Thal is the agent in charge (also Sutherland's son), and Warner is a cute expert on extraterrestrials. Despite a predictable (and unnecessary) climax, this sleeper, which did little business at the box office, is pretty suspenseful with good action scenes and a few creepy moments. A good supporting cast helps: Richard Belzer, Yaphet Kotto, Marshall Bell, Keith David, Will Patton and Andrew Robinson. Abel Ferrara did a straight BODY SNATCHERS remake at about the same time, but I like Orme's film better.

PURE DANGER (1996)--Directed by C. Thomas Howell.  Stars C. Thomas Howell, Teri Ann Linn, Rick Shapiro, Leon, Michael Russo, Marcus Chong.  Quentin Tarantino ought to collect royalties from rentals of this PM DTV actioner.  You’ll recognize scenes and characters cribbed from TRUE ROMANCE, RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION.  It’s Howell’s third film as a director, and judging from it, he isn’t very good.  The performances are rotten, particularly Shapiro’s as a strip-club owner, although the pace is okay and the action is brisk (executive producers Richard Pepin and Joseph Merhi and second unit director Spiro Razatos likely were responsible).  A parolee (Howell) and a waitress (Linn) go on the run when a cache of stolen diamonds falls into their lap.  Italian (represented by Russo) and black (Leon) gangsters are after the diamonds and do a lot of cursing and shooting to get them.  Almost all of the actors are annoyingly over-the-top, and Leon and Chong make the biggest impressions by underplaying.  Razatos designs some nifty PM-style car chases.  Also with Elisa Leonetti, Irwin Keyes, Carrot Top as a truck driver (also credited as a stuntman!) and an unbilled Donny “Ralph Malph” Most as Howell’s parole officer.

PURSUIT (1972)--Directed by Michael Crichton.  Stars Ben Gazzara, E.G. Marshall.  Crichton made his directorial debut with this made-for-TV thriller based upon his novel BINARY.  Gazzara is an unusually intelligent action lead as government agent Steven Graves, who has only a matter of hours to discover the location of a homemade nerve gas bomb built by paranoiac Wright (Marshall) and then dismantle it in time.  Brains, not brawn, are what this mission calls for, and the typically intense Gazzara (RUN FOR YOUR LIFE) fits the bill with his black horn-rimmed glasses and strict attention to detail.  Crichton maintains a steady pace during PURSUIT's 74-minute running time, and although a bit more dough in the budget would have added some needed spectacle to the climax, suspense is maintained through the use of an on-screen clock that ticks down towards detonation.  Martin Sheen appears in one scene.  Also with Jim McMullan, Quinn Redeker, William Windom, Joseph Wiseman and Will Kuluva.  Jerry Goldsmith scored the ABC film.

PUSHING TIN (1999)--Directed by Mike Newell. Stars John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Cate Blanchett, Angelina Jolie. Black comedy from the director of FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL wants to be the M*A*S*H of the '90s, but is betrayed by a seemingly studio-imposed Phony Hollywood Happy Ending. The four leads are very good though, with Cusack turning in one of his best performances as air traffic controller Nick "The Zone" Falzone, who's regarded by his colleagues as the best at what he does--that is until Russell Bell (Thornton) joins the crew. Bell is a mysterious, taciturn sort married to a 19-year-old sex bomb (Jolie, all lips, hips and breasts) who enters into a dangerous--and funny--game of one-upsmanship with Cusack, which leads to both men sleeping with the other mans wife.

The scenario is very similar to Barry Levinson's 1987 film TIN MEN, which also dealt with two scheming co-workers (played by Richard Dreyfuss and Danny DeVito) who tormented each other by committing adultery with the other man's spouse, but it's a clever one, and one that Cusack and Thornton perform very well. Jolie (Jon Voight's daughter) has the least screen time of the leads, but makes the most of it, lending shadings of loneliness and fear to her confused Mary Bell. Oscar nominee Blanchett (ELIZABETH) is more or less unrecognizable as Cusack's Long Island housewife, and she also scores as a decent wife and mother who begins taking art lessons in a search for something to fulfill her outside of the home. She and Cusack are involved in the movie's final scene, which has a tone that clashes with the rest of the movie, and feels tacked on by a studio that wasn't confident with the movie it had and followed the whim of test audiences. Could have used more of an edge (maybe along the lines of WAR OF THE ROSES), but recommended. Music by Anne Dudley. The screenplay is credited to CHEERS creators Glen & Les Charles, but was probably heavily rewritten by Newell and his script doctors.