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ROBOWAR (1988)--Directed by Bruno Mattei.
Stars Reb Brown. Seen PREDATOR? Good. Then you've also seen this Italian ripoff with former Captain America
Brown a poor substitute for The Governator. There's also a bit of ROBOCOP in the movie too, as a bunch of mercenaries
known as "Big Ass Muthafuckas" and led by Black (Brown) invade the jungles of Southeast Asia and end up fighting a lame-looking
robot made from the human remains of Brown's best pal. The story and characters echo PREDATOR to exacting detail, and
I'm surprised there has never been-to the best of my knowledge-a legal battle against it. ROBOWAR is pretty funny stuff;
the acting and dialogue are supremely silly, and there's enough action to keep the sports fans awake. Plus, it's nice
to have former Hasselhoff wife Catherine Hickland on hand, even though she keeps her top on.
THE ROCK (1996)--Directed by Michael Bay.
Stars Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, Michael Biehn. Silly, preposterous, but energetic action flick that works mostly
because of the talent of its stars. Harris is a U.S. Army Congressional Medal of Honor winner who becomes upset with the government
after many of his comrades were killed in various covert missions over the years, yet their families were denied benefits,
since according to Washington, these missions never happened. Harris puts together his own army of soldiers, engineers a robbery
of lethal nerve gas, and takes hostages on Alcatraz Island. He plans to use these missiles to kill most of the citizenry of
San Francisco and Oakland unless the Washington bureaucrats give in to his demands. To mount a rescue mission, the feds send
in Stanley Goodspeed (Cage), a lab nerd who barely passed his weaponry training with the F.B.I and has little experience in
fieldwork, and John Mason (Connery), a British spy captured by the Feds in the '60s and illegally imprisoned since. He's along
because he's the only man to ever successfully escape from Alcatraz.
Cage and Connery make a delightful team; both
men seem to be having a good time, and Cage in particular makes for an eccentric yet engaging action hero. Harris works hard
at giving his villain more than one dimension, which is unusual for a big-budget summer action movie. Bay's background in
music videos is evident (I doubt if any individual shot lasts for over five seconds), as the sharp editing and crisp photography
help keep the pace moving. Hans Zimmer's score is awful (and much too loud), but that's a small quibble. The script is really
just a clothesline to hang a bunch of action scenes and one-liners on, but they are good ones. Supporting cast is also first-rate:
David Morse, John Spencer, Tony Todd and the gorgeous Vanessa Marcil as the improbable sexpot girlfriend of science nerd Cage.
Connery, Cage and Harris elevate THE ROCK over most films of this type.
ROCK ALL NIGHT (1957)--Directed by Roger
Corman. Stars Dick Miller, Abby Dalton, Mel Welles, Russell Johnson, Jonathan Haze. Corman directed this 62-minute
wonder on one set over just a handful of days. A surly fella named Shorty (Miller), after getting kicked out of one
bar, ends up in another called Cloud Nine, where he and the other patrons are taken hostage by a pair of bank robbers, played
by Corman regular Haze and Johnson, better known as the Professor on GILLIGAN’S ISLAND. Most of the picture consists
of chatter between Miller and the other characters, including a wannabe torch singer (Dalton) and her hipster manager (Welles),
and musical numbers. In fact, the Platters pop in for about ten minutes to perform a couple of songs that have nothing
to do with the rest of the picture. It’s a simple, straightforward little programmer--its budget and schedule
demand that it be--but Charles B. Griffith’s dialogue is fun to listen to (Welles claims he penned much of his own patter)
and Miller does a good job carrying the picture. It’s fun spotting Bruno VeSota, Beach Dickerson and Ed Nelson
too. Nora Hayes dubbed Dalton’s singing. Score by Ronald Stein.
ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK (1956)--Directed by Fred
F. Sears. Stars Bill Haley and His Comets, Johnny Johnston, Henry Slate, Alan Freed. Leave it to Columbia Pictures schlockmeister
Sam Katzman to jump onto the rock-and-roll bandwagon before anyone else, and produce the world's first feature about rock.
During a cross-country drive to New York, talent manager Johnston and comic relief sidekick Slate stop off in a tiny Midwestern
burg where the teenagers spend their Saturday nights boppin' to a new kind of beat--a rock-and-roll beat. Johnston's never
heard anything like Bill Haley and His Comets before, but he quickly signs the band to a deal and brings them to the attention
of high-powered New York DJ Freed (playing himself). This movie only exists for the musical numbers, which are mostly cool;
Haley does nine tunes, The Platters perform "Only You" and "The Great Pretender", and Freddie Bell and the Bellboys and Tony
Martinez also perform. Sears, Katzman, Freed and Haley reunited in 56 for DON'T KNOCK THE ROCK.
ROCK 'N' ROLL
HIGH SCHOOL (1979)--Directed by Allan Arkush & Joe Dante. Stars P.J. Soles, Vincent Van Patten, Dey Young, Clint
Howard, Mary Woronov, The Ramones. Another New World cult film by the directors of HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. Perky high school
cheerleader Soles is obsessed with the Ramones, so obsessed that she thinks nothing of skipping class and staying up all night
to be first in line to buy tickets for their concert. However, she butts heads with principal Woronov, who plans to keep students
in hand by banning rock and roll music from the school. The cast is good and there are some funny moments, but the humor is
too tame for a New World movie and, unless you're a Ramones fan, there's probably too much music. Also with New World regulars
Dick Miller and Paul Bartel. Executive produced by Roger Corman. Joey Ramone died of lymphoma in April 2001 at the age
of 49.
THE ROCKETEER (1991)--Directed by Joe Johnston. Stars Bill Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan
Arkin, Timothy Dalton. One of the best comic book movies ever made, it was a box-office flop for Disney, which is too bad
since it would have great to see some sequels. Campbell plays a young pilot in the '30s who discovers a rocket pack that enables
him to fly at great speeds. With his mechanic sidekick Peevey (Arkin, who is fun), Campbell becomes the Rocketeer, donning
a costume and bullet-shaped helmet, to battle Nazi spy Dalton (playing a Hollywood star based on Errol Flynn). Connelly is
beautiful and sweet as Campbell's girlfriend and the object of Dalton's affections, who was originally based on pinup queen
Betty Page. Well-scripted by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo (THE FLASH) with great special effects by Industrial Light and Magic,
this is one of the most fun adventures of the '90s, and better than any of the overly garish BATMAN egotrips. Based on an
early '80s graphic novel by Dave Stevens, who, of course, was heavily influenced by KING OF THE ROCKETMEN and other Republic
serials featuring the Commando Cody character. Also with Paul Sorvino, Terry O'Quinn, Tiny Ron, Clint Howard and Ed Lauter.
From the director of HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS.
ROCKETSHIP X-M (1950)--Directed by Kurt Neumann. Stars
John Emery, Lloyd Bridges, Hugh O'Brien, Ona Massey, Noah Beery, Jr. Started the whole science-fiction craze of the 1950s.
A rocket crashlands on Mars, and the crew fights atomically scarred mutants. The astronauts don't have enough fuel to get
back to Earth, but they take off anyway in an attempt to warn the people back home of the dangers of atomic warfare. Dull
science fiction is interesting only to see early roles by future TV stars Bridges (SEA HUNT), O'Brien (THE LIFE AND LEGEND
OF WYATT EARP) and Beery (THE ROCKFORD FILES).
THE ROCKFORD FILES (1974)--Directed by Richard T.
Heffron. Stars James Garner, Lindsay Wagner, William Smith, Nita Talbot, Joe Santos, Robert Donley, Stuart Margolin. In the
pilot film for television's greatest private-eye series, Garner is Jim Rockford, a world-weary, cynical private detective
working out of his Malibu beach trailer. Rockford, who learned to be wary of strangers while serving five years in San Quentin
on a trumped-up armed robbery charge (for which he was pardoned), is hired by a beautiful young woman, Sara Butler (Wagner),
to investigate the murder of her father Harry, a wino who was found strangled and robbed beneath a pier. The police, including
Rockford's detective friend Sgt. Becker (Santos), have filed the case in the inactive drawer due to a lack of leads and the
victim's social status. Rockford, who demands $200 per day for his services (plus expenses), is reluctant to take the case
at first, until his curiosity is stirred by a run-in with dimwitted but dangerous karate master Jerry Grimes (Smith) and Mildred
Elias (Talbot), the widow of a millionaire who dropped dead on their wedding night.
The pilot, penned by producer
Stephen J. Cannell from a story by MAVERICK creator Roy Huggins, does the job it set out to do, which was to sell the series
to NBC. Garner is wonderful, of course, since he basically invented the reluctant hero-who's-in-it-for-the-money-and-would-rather-talk-his-way-out-of-trouble-than-fight
in MAVERICK. If he didn't invent it, he sure created a new archetype. No one does this character better than Garner, who endows
Rockford with a wry sense of humor and a strong sense of character. The movie also sets up Rockford's firm pay rates (reportedly
a response to a MANNIX episode in which the hero agreed to take on a case for a little boy in exchange for three dollars and
a bottle cap), his loving relationship with his father Rocky (Donley, replaced by Noah Beery Jr. in the series), his poor
credit rating, his rabid streak of independence, and, of course, his tan Pontiac Firebird, with which Rockford could outdrive
anyone.
Although 21 years his junior, Wagner shows nice chemistry with Garner, and displays the charm that would win
her the Emmy-winning role of Jaime Sommers, the ill-fated love of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN who would land her own series,
THE BIONIC WOMAN. Smith, always a welcome heavy, plays a pivotal role in establishing the Rockford character when he is sucker-punched
by the danger-avoiding dick. Santos and Margolin, who underplays cowardly informant Angel here (although he wouldn't in the
series, winning two Emmys in the process), lend amiable support, although Donley is tough to take if you're used to the amiable
charm of Noah Beery.
Heffron does a nice job keeping things moving, allowing Garner's natural aura to shine and providing
a slam-bang (though incredulous) desert climax. The music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter is lively, though closer in spirit
to the jazz-type scores of previous TV cop shows than the innovative guitar-and-harmonica rock scores they would use on the
series. Also with Michael Lerner, Bill Mumy (LOST IN SPACE), Ted Gehring, Joshua Bryant, Bill Quinn, Luis Delgado and Garners
brother Jack. THE ROCKFORD FILES ran more than five seasons on NBC, despite appearing in the Top 25 only one time. The pilot
pops up in syndicated reruns as a two-part episode titled "Backlash of the Hunter".
THE ROCKFORD FILES: A
BLESSING IN DISGUISE (1995)--Directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Stars James Garner, Richard Romanus, Renee O'Connor. Private
dick Jim Rockford (Garner) comes out of retirement to protect a pretty witness (O'Connor) from the Mob. Always nice to see
Garner on screen, and he meshes well with his ROCKFORD cronies. Also with Joe Santos as Dennis Becker, Stuart Margolin as
con man Angel, Aharon Ipale, Eric Lutes and Morton Downey Jr. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE ROCKFORD
FILES: CRIME AND PUNISHMENT (1996)--Directed by David Chase. Stars James Garner, Kathryn Harrold, Joe Santos, Stuart
Margolin. Laidback private eye Jim Rockford and his brown Pontiac Firebird become embroiled in another case when he runs across
an old flame, blind book editor Megan Dougherty (Harrold). Her no-good playboy cousin Patrick is involved with the Russian
Mob, which puts everyone's life in danger. The weary Rockford must also deal with his old friend Angel (Margolin), who is
painting Jim's trailer to work off a debt. Also with Bryan Cranston, Richard Kiley, Ramy Zada and Jack Garner. Writer-director
Chase (THE SOPRANOS) loosely adapted Dostoyevsky's classic novel. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE
ROCKFORD FILES: FRIENDS AND FOUL PLAY (1996)--Directed by Stuart Margolin. Stars James Garner, Marcia Strassman,
Wendy Phillips, David Proval, James Luisi. Laconic private detective Jim Rockford (Garner) is hired by the regulars at the
beachside restaurant he frequents to find the killer of their favorite waitress (Phillips). The prime suspect is a mobster
named Happy (so called because of his nervous habit of giggling while kicking the crap out of his victims), played by Proval,
who went on to play Richie Aprile on THE SOPRANOS. To gain access to the murder scene, Rockford enrolls in a university criminology
class taught by Dr. Trish George (Strassman), much to the chagrin of the class's guest lecturer: Rockford's old nemesis Captain
Chapman (Luisi). The cast of TV's THE ROCKFORD FILES--including Joe Santos as police pal Becker, Stuart Margolin as rascally
Angel and Gretchen Corbett as attorney-turned-writer Beth--return to back up Garner in this reunion TV-movie penned by original
series creator Stephen J. Cannell. Also with Jason Bernard, Molly Hagan, Ivan Sergei, Stefan Gierasch and Matt Gallini. Music
by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE ROCKFORD FILES: GODFATHER KNOWS BEST (1996)--Directed by Tony
Wharmby. Stars James Garner, Joe Santos, Maxwell Caulfield, Damian Chapa. Retired PI Jim Rockford (Garner) is called in to
investigate when his godson Scott Becker (Chapa) becomes involved with some shady people. Santos gets plenty of screen time
as Rockford's best pal Lt. Dennis Becker, and Pat Finley reprises her guest role from the '70s crime drama as Becker's wife
Peg. Also with Stuart Margolin and Edita Brychta. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE ROCKFORD FILES:
I STILL LOVE L.A. (1994)--Directed by James Whitmore Jr. Stars James Garner, Joanna Cassidy, Joseph Campanella. First
of eight made-for-TV movies reuniting Garner with the Jim Rockford character that made him an Emmy-winning actor in the '70s
and one of the most popular and likable TV actors of all time. Fifteen years later, the laidback Rockford is still living
in a trailer on the beach, doing some fishing and relaxing and completely retired from the gumshoe biz. That is until his
vivacious attorney ex-wife Kit (Cassidy), who's representing a pair of spoiled teens accused of killing their mother, needs
his help. While the plot is kind of thin and the backstory of a former marriage comes out of left field, it's always nice
to see old friends again. And, yes, Rockford still has the signature answering machine. Also with Joe Santos, Stuart Margolin,
Daniel Benzali, Lawrence Pressman, Hoke Howell and Jack Garner. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE
ROCKFORD FILES: IF IT BLEEDS...IT LEADS (1999)--Directed by Stuart Margolin. Stars James Garner, Rita Moreno, Joe
Santos, Hal Linden. The last of eight ROCKFORD FILES reunions made for CBS sat on the shelf for nearly two years before it
finally aired. It's much more serious than you'd expect, and closely shadows the real-life story of Richard Jewell, the Atlanta
security guard who was unfairly accused by the media in the Olympic Park bombings.
Retired PI Jim Rockford (Garner)
is asked by his old friend Rita Kapkovic (Moreno, returning to the role that won her an Emmy in the '70s) to investigate a
series of child rapes when her husband, respected school teacher Ernie Landale (Linden), is accused, but not initially charged,
with the crimes. The mystery and identity of the rapist is really not the issue in Reuben Leder's teleplay (from a story by
ROCKFORD FILES producers Juanita Bartlett and Stephen J. Cannell), but the way in which the media grabs onto a juicy story
and doesn't let go, no matter who gets hurt along the way. Landale is an honest and decent man whose reputation is unfairly
tarnished, which leads to a tragic ending. Though all the veteran cast members do good work here (although Margolin's miscreant
Angel character has grown a bit old and tiresome), Linden (TV's BARNEY MILLER) delivers a particularly strong performance
as a man who becomes just as much of a victim as the young girls he is accused of assaulting. Also with Gretchen Corbett,
Tom Atkins, Loryn Locklin, Denise Crosby, George Wyner, Juanita Jennings and Jack Garner. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE ROCKFORD FILES: IF THE FRAME FITS... (1996)--Directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Stars James Garner,
Dyan Cannon, Joe Santos, Gretchen Corbett. In a story we saw a million times on THE ROCKFORD FILES, private eye Jim Rockford
(Garner) is framed for a crime he didn't commit--this time the murder of a rival detective. Rockford hires old flame Beth
Davenport (Corbett), now a successful novelist, to represent him, while teaming with buddy Lt. Becker (Santos) to find the
real killer. Crisp dialogue and familiar characters we love spending time with is more important than plot when you're watching
ROCKFORD, and whether he's tossing sharp barbs at police rivals Chapman and Diehl, bickering with Angel, visiting his dad
Rocky's gravesite or catching up with old flame Beth, Jim Rockford is one of television's most endearing characters, and it's
always fun to watch him. With Stuart Margolin as Angel, Tom Atkins as Diehl, James Luisi as Captain Chapman, Carmen Argenziano,
Steve Eastin, Jack Garner and Linden Chiles. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
THE ROCKFORD FILES: MURDERS
AND MISDEMEANORS (1997)--Directed by Tony Wharmby. Stars James Garner, Joe Santos, John Amos, Denise Nicholas. Jim
Rockford (Garner) is asked by police pal Dennis Becker (Santos) to assist in the investigation of a pair of vice cops suspected
of being dirty. He also spends time with a terminally ill friend and fellow private detective played by Amos. Nice cast includes
Stuart Margolin, Denise Nicholas, Conrad Janis, Dan Lauria, Eugene Roche and Isabel Glasser. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.
ROCKY (1976)--Directed by John G. Avildsen. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Burgess
Meredith, Carl Weathers. Sleeper hit somehow won Oscars for Best Picture and Best Director. Sly plays Rocky Balboa, a third-rate
boxer who has dreams of the big time. His dreams come true when he gets a shot at the heavyweight title. He also falls in
love with the shy Shire along the way. Touching screenplay by Stallone, who refused to sell the script unless he was allowed
to play Balboa, was Oscar-nominated, as was his performance. Climactic fight with Apollo Creed (Weathers) is exciting. Also
with Joe Spinell, Thayer David, boxer Joe Frazier and Frank Stallone. Bill Conti composed the familiar music.
ROCKY
II (1979)--Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, Carl
Weathers. Pretty much the same movie as the first. Rocky wants a rematch with Creed. He gets it, but not before many soap
opera histrionics get in the way. Stallone directs the climactic fight scene well. Script by Stallone.
ROCKY
III (1983)--Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Mr. T, Carl Weathers, Burt Young,
Burgess Meredith, Hulk Hogan. The ROCKY franchise received a real shot in the arm with this entry, thanks to a raucous performance
by Mr. T. The future A-TEAM star plays Clubber Lang, a brutal boxer who takes the heavyweight crown away from Rocky. Balboa
wants it back, but trainer Meredith has passed away and he's having marital problems with Adrian (Shire). Apollo Creed (Weathers)
becomes his new trainer and helps Rocky regain his title. Better than the previous ROCKY film. Survivor performs "Eye of the
Tiger" on the soundtrack.
ROCKY IV (1985)--Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone,
Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Dolph Lundgren, Brigitte Nielsen, Michael Pataki. Sly should have stopped after three.
This time Rocky's buddy Apollo Creed is killed in the ring by a Russian superman (Lundgren). Rocky goes to Russia to avenge
his friend's death. By the end of the match, the Russian crowd is cheering Balboa! Film is 91 minutes long; fight scenes take
up 30 minutes, and another 30 minutes are training montages, which leaves about a half-hour of actual dialogue and plot development.
Another hour wouldn't have helped. Nielsen became Mrs. Stallone for a short time.
ROCKY BALBOA (2006)—Directed by Sylvester
Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young, Geraldine Hughes, Milo Ventimiglia, Antonio Tarver. Almost thirty years
to the day after ROCKY won three Academy Awards, including Best Picture, ROCKY BALBOA, the sixth in the series, hit DVD. You'd
have to either try very hard or be a total scrooge to dislike it. Released theatrically just before Christmas, ROCKY BALBOA
is an old-fashioned, quaintly directed and performed drama driven partially by nostalgia, but mostly by heart.
Ignoring the events of the ignominious ROCKY V, ROCKY BALBOA
picks up four years after the death of Adrian (played in earlier films by Talia Shire), beloved wife of former heavyweight
champion Rocky (Sylvester Stallone, of course, who also directed and wrote the screenplay). Life just isn't the same for Rocky
without Adrian, even though he has a grown son (Milo Ventimiglia) and a nice restaurant, where he dons a blazer and entertains
the diners with old fight stories. And, of course, grumpy brother-in-law Paulie (Burt Young) is still around, even though
he's grown weary of Rocky talking about his dead wife all the time.
Stallone the writer bites off more than his 101-minute running
time can chew, as he gives Rocky something of a surrogate family. Balboa befriends a lonely barkeeper, Marie (played well
by Irish actress Geraldine Hughes), who once cursed Rocky when she was a kid. Now a single mother with a half-Jamaican teenager,
Steps (James Francis Kelly III), she initially is suspicious of Rocky's kindness, but comes to like the big lug.
Meanwhile, the plot kicks in, which finds Rocky agreeing to
an exhibition match with Mason "The Line" Dixon (Antonio Tarver), the current heavyweight champion, after an ESPN computer
simulation has the in-his-prime Balboa knocking Dixon out. Surprisingly, Rocky's friends go easy on the nay-saying, and mostly
support his decision to fight a man 30 years his junior on pay-per-view television. We do too, if only because it leads to
the moment we've been waiting for: the requisite training montage, complete with Rocky downing raw eggs, running up those
iconic stone stairs, and working out to Bill Conti's rousing theme.
I say Stallone bit too much off, because some of his character
arcs are inadequately fleshed out. After a couple of early bonding scenes between Rocky and Steps, the young man virtually
vanishes from the latter half of the film. Likewise, Balboa's relationships with Marie and with Rocky Jr. feel unfinished.
One can't fault Stallone's sincerity, however, as an actor, writer or director. Considering he hadn't directed a film since
1986's cartoonish ROCKY IV, he steps back behind the camera assuredly, and perks up the climactic bout using digital cameras
to give it the look and feel of an actual TV broadcast, complete with on-screen graphics and the use of actual announcers
like Jim Lampley and Larry Merchant to play themselves.
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975)--Directed
by Jim Sharman. Stars Barry Bostwick, Susan Sarandon, Tim Curry, Richard O'Brien, Charles Gray, Meat Loaf. Amazingly popular
cult film has been playing the midnight circuit since its original release. Some people claim to have seen it 500 times or
more. They come dressed as their favorite characters, dance in the aisles, throw things at the screen, and act out the dialogue
along with the characters. In fact, the show inside the theater is much more entertaining than the film itself. Plot concerns
a conservative couple (Bostwick and Sarandon) whose car breaks down in the rain. Looking for shelter, they turn up at the
castle of a colorful transvestite (Curry), who has created an artificial creature named Rocky Horror. Curry is fabulous in
a role that seems created for Mick Jagger, and some of the songs are clever, but there really isn't much to the film. Based
on Sharman and O'Brien's stage play.
RODAN (1957)--Directed by Inoshiro Honda. One of the earliest
and best Japanese monster movies. Two giant pterodactyls destroy Tokyo. Not bad special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya. In color
and only 70 minutes long.
ROGER & ME (1989)--Directed by Michael Moore. Excellent satirical documentary
chronicling Moore's attempts to visit General Motors chairman Roger Smith after Smith's layoffs of thousands of auto plant
workers in Flint, Michigan. Moore is like a bulldog in his determination to make the elusive Smith answer for his actions,
but he is thwarted by GM officials every step of the way. Moore also turns his cameras on Flint and his residents, and lets
us see how the townspeople are holding up in hard times. A fascinating look at unemployment and big business bureaucracy,
with interesting (and not very flattering) glimpses of celebrities like Pat Boone, Bob Eubanks, Anita Bryant and Miss America
Lani Rae Rafko. The omission of this film from 1990's Best Documentary Oscar nominees is one of the Academy's all-time biggest
boners.
ROGER DODGER (2002)--Directed by Dylan Kidd.
Stars Campbell Scott, Jesse Eisenberg, Isabella Rossellini. Scott is fantastic as a misogynist double-talker in this
chatty drama filmed in New York. Roger (Scott) is a smug bastard all right, a copywriter having an affair with his older
boss (Rossellini). The day after she breaks off their secret affair--and he learns he has specifically not been invited
to a party at her apartment that night that the rest of the office will be attending--he is unexpectedly paid a visit by his
16-year-old nephew Nick (Eisenberg) from Ohio. Nick, a virgin, has heard stories from his mother about Roger's (alleged)
womanizing--much of what we see is guided by the fact that we don't actually know how successful Roger is with the ladies,
Rossellini aside--and has come seeking tutoring in pitching woo. Or, more accurately, getting laid. If you can
abide cinematographer Joaquin Baca-Asay's jittery, headache-inducing camerawork and an overly friendly ending that feels tacked
on, you'll find much to like in ROGER. Scott pulls off an extremely difficult role, a bitter, lonely cocksman who appears
to hate women almost as much as he hates himself, but played sympathetically so in a manner that urges us to root for him
anyway. Also chipping in a pair of sensitive performances that may surprise you are Jennifer Beals (FLASHDANCE) and
Elizabeth Berkley (SHOWGIRLS) as big-city party girls who become Roger and Nick's conquests for the night. Music by
Craig Wedren.
ROGUE COP (1954)--Directed by Roy Rowland.
Stars Robert Taylor, Janet Leigh, George Raft, Steve Forrest. Taylor scores as Chris Kelvaney, a crooked detective out for
revenge against the gangster (Raft) who ordered the murder of his brother (Forrest), a rookie patrolman. An excellent supporting
cast and moody Oscar-nominated cinematography by John F. Seitz set the pace for this well-made film noir. Taylor does a fine
job as a man, shunned by his peers, seeking redemption after the same men for whom he's sacrificed his own identity kill his
only family member. Raft, of course, is good in his zillionth mobster role, while Forrest showcases a likable navet in one
of his first leading roles (he later became a major star on television [S.W.A.T.]). Also with Anne Francis, Robert Ellenstein,
Robert F. Simon, Alan Hale Jr. (who's bested in a brutal fistfight by Taylor), Peter Brocco, Vince Edwards, Olive Carey, Roy
Barcroft, Paul Brinegar, Richard Deacon and Russell Johnson. Music by Jeff Alexander. From the director of THE GIRL HUNTERS.
ROLLER BLADE (1986)--Directed by Donald G. Jackson.
Stars Suzanne Solari, Shaun Michelle. Damn, this is some deep hurting. If you think you’ve seen movies so
awful that they’ve actually eaten away sections of your soul, let me be so bold as to suggest that you have not.
This is as bad as movies come. It’s such agony to experience that not even the sight of a full-frontal-naked Michelle
Bauer, caressing two other nude babes in a hot tub, is worth the pain. I couldn’t even follow the story because
my attention was wandering towards the colorful push pins holding my posters to the wall and the blinking lights on my cable
box. ROLLER BLADE made me very hard up for entertainment. I do know that some naked nuns on roller skates were
trying to fight back against some oppressive dictator ruling Venice beach with the aid of a cheap rubber hand puppet.
That’s about it. This movie sucks.
ROLLER BOOGIE (1979)--Directed by Mark L. Lester. Stars Linda Blair,
Jim Bray, Mark Goddard, Sean McClory. This cheerfully ridiculous musical is basically an AIP Beach Party movie on wheels
with Bray and Blair doing Frankie and Annette. Capitalizing on the rollerskating craze that lasted for all of 28 minutes,
ROLLER BOOGIE casts Bray, a real rollerskating champion with no acting experience (as is obvious), as Bobby James, a Venice
Beach skating master with ambitions of winning an Olympic gold medal. I hope nobody ever tells him that rollerskating
isn't an Olympic event. While showing off on the boardwalk, he meets rich girl Terry (Blair), who finds him cute, but
manages somehow to resist his charisma. Yes, that's sarcasm. Eventually they do begin to fall in love and start
practicing their routine for the roller boogie contest at the local rink owned by gregarious Irishman Jammer Delany (McClory).
It takes about 52 minutes for the plot to finally kick in--not that it's a particularly special one--as mobster Thatcher (Goddard)
coerces Delany into selling him the rink, which means no roller boogie contest and presumably no eventual gold medal for Bobby.
If you're looking for the quintessentially '70s flick, ROLLER BOOGIE will do,
packed as it is with frothy costuming and hairstyles, light plotting, enthusiastic but empty performances, and wall-to-wall
disco music. Lester's energetic direction, combined with choreographer David Winters' musical numbers, is good enough
to keep BOOGIE out of the "bad movie" category; its upbeat tone and lack of violence, sex and profanity make it a breeze to
sit through, and many of the songs, including the opening theme performed by Cher, will likely have your toes tapping.
Six years after THE EXORCIST, BOOGIE was 20-year-old Blair's first starring role in a theatrical feature. Bray never
acted again. Also with James Van Patten, Kimberly Beck, Beverly Garland, Roger Perry and Stoney Jackson. From
the director of TRUCK STOP WOMEN.
ROLLERBALL (1975)--Directed by Norman Jewison. Stars
James Caan, Maud Adams, John Houseman. Pompous and dull science-fiction that comes alive only during the brutal action scenes;
while director Jewison was obviously trying to make a serious picture about the absurdity of violence, it's also obvious that
the Rollerball scenes are virtually the only successful ones in the film, and that audiences are too busy cheering the mindless
action (just like the fans in the movie) to think too much about Jewison's heavy-handed message.
It's 2018, and Caan
is Jonathan E., a superstar of a sport called Rollerball, which is a combination of rugby, roller derby, hockey and motorcycle
racing. Rollerball is a sport run by the Energy Corporation, one of many such conglomerates running the planet in a time when
countries and individual governments are obsolete. The corporations provide the population with everything that they need--food,
a crime-free environment, mood-altering drugs--as long as they don't rock the boat and don't ask too many questions. Books
have been either eradicated or sanitized for consumption, and the Corporation is bigger than the Individual. When Jonathan,
the world's greatest Rollerball player, becomes too popular with the fans, the Energy Corporation, led by sinister Houseman,
tries to convince Jonathan to retire. Failing that, the company raises the stakes, abolishing the rules of the already dangerous
sport in an effort to destroy Jonathan and his immense fan base.
Make no mistake, Jewison's rollerball scenes are
incredibly exciting and violent--some of Hollywood's greatest stuntmen, such as Craig Baxley, Dar Robinson, Max Kleven and
Bob Minor worked on them--but the rest is pompous, confusing nonsense. One extended sequence involving rich drunken men and
women dressed in tuxedos and evening gowns blowing up fur trees with a pistol has never made a lick of sense to me, and Caan--usually
a tornado of activity on screen--is forced to tone down his performance in the scenes where he isn't on the Rollerball rink.
Also with Ralph Richardson, John Beck, Moses Gunn, Pamela Hensley, Barbara Trentham, Burt Kwouk, Robert Ito and lots
of classical music. Script by sci-fi vet William Harrison is adapted from his short story, which was titled "The Rollerball
Murders". Filmed at Pinewood Studios in London and on location in Munich.
ROLLERBALL (2002)--Directed
by John McTiernan. Stars Chris Klein, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Jean Reno. There's a Hollywood axiom that states remaking
a great film is a bad idea, since the new version will undoubtedly be compared unfavorably with the original. But a remake
of a mediocre or obscure film could work, if it has an interesting premise on which a good director can put a new spin. Using
this theory, ROLLERBALL would appear to be the perfect candidate for remake status. The original 1975 release, which was directed
by Norman Jewison (IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT) and starred James Caan (MISERY), is a dull, ponderous affair about the absurdity
of violence and its cathartic effect on the masses that comes alive only during its hyper-kinetic action scenes. The Rollerball
sequences are among the most brutal ever placed on film. Jewison may have been sincere, but his film isn't, reveling in the
type of head-crunching violence that it claims to deplore. Since 1975, we've been subjected to FEAR FACTOR, Extreme Sports,
and the WWF, all of which would seem to make a ROLLERBALL remake timelier than ever.
MGM's new remake, directed by
John McTiernan (DIE HARD), gets off to a rotten start with the opening credits. If a film's three stars are a rapper, a supermodel
and Chris Klein, you can bet there isn't going to be a massive influx of characterization or nuance. After an opening downhill
street luge race in San Francisco that serves only to illustrate how stupid and irresponsible he is, Jonathan (Klein) is abducted
by his pal and Obligatory Black Sidekick (you think he'll be around for the end credits?) Ridley (LL Cool J), who coaches
a Rollerball team and invites Jonathan to join the squad. One of the film's major flaws is that it tells us next to nothing
about the sport. How many teams are there? What are the rules? What does the track look like? What kind of strategy is used?
None of these questions are satisfactorily addressed, turning the matches into confusing globs of quick cuts and bad rock
music. Unlike the original film, Rollerball is a coed sport, which introduces us to Jonathan's teammate Aurora (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos),
who enjoys topless weight-lifting and is having an affair with Jonathan ("You think we could do this in a bed sometime? You
know--with sheets and stuff?" says Klein in one of many clunky lines in the screenplay by Larry Ferguson [ALIEN 3] and John
Pogue [THE SKULLS]). Their Eurotrash boss is Alexi (French actor Jean Reno), who speaks publicly about "maintaining the integrity"
of the sport while simultaneously orchestrating on-field "accidents" in order to drive up the ratings (which are somehow calculated
instantaneously).
To say more about what happens in ROLLERBALL would be difficult, because I don't really know. The
screenplay is more like a list of non-sequiturs than a narrative, and it is given no weight by its actors, who are unable
to grab hold of anything meaty. Granted, no stars in the world could have made this movie work, given its script and direction,
but to get a good idea of how wrongheaded this remake is, compare the two versions' stars. Although the original movie is
not one of his better performances, James Caan was perfectly cast as a fiery, physical, rebellious soul who was dissatisfied
living in conformity. Chris Klein is as far removed from "Jimmy the Dream" as one can get--quiet, sheepish and lunk-headed
in a way that makes Keanu Reeves look like Stephen Hawking. Adding McTiernan's clueless direction to the equation is another
hindrance. His jawdropping decision to film one seven-minute action setpiece using grainy, green night-vision lenses serves
only to make the scene incomprehensible and murky. What kind of stylistic decision was that?
ROLLERBALL was the victim
of a troubled production history. After test audiences blasted the original R-rated cut and the film was shelved by MGM, McTiernan
sliced out the scenes involving a nude Romijn-Stamos and toned down the violence (hard to believe, considering how much remains),
finally tossing the result out to theaters with a PG-13. Considering MGM picked the opening weekend of the Winter Olympics
to do so, it's clear the studio had little faith in the movie, and neither should you. ROLLERBALL is stupid, loud, pandering,
lazy and without the finest shred of redemption. To make a worse film than the original ROLLERBALL is difficult, but McTiernan
has done so by not even trying.
Also with pop singer Pink as "Herself" and ECW owner Paul Heyman as a loudmouthed
announcer. Music by Eric Serra. William Harrison, author of the original short story and the 1975 screenplay, is credited.
Filmed in Canada, Wyoming and San Francisco.
ROLLERCOASTER (1977)--Directed by James Goldstone.
Stars George Segal, Richard Widmark, Timothy Bottoms. Judging from the premise, the all-star cast and Universal’s
decision to release it in Sensurround, I imagine audiences were expecting a disaster movie along the lines of EARTHQUAKE.
Instead, action is disappointingly short in this decently crafted thriller about a baby-faced bomber (Bottoms) who blows up
a couple of coasters and threatens more damage unless he receives a $1 million ransom. Portraying cinema’s first
safety inspector/action hero, Segal is amiable in his harried verbal sparring with Bottoms, while fencing with stubborn FBI
agent Widmark (who slummed even further the next year in THE SWARM). Segal’s characterization is pretty much limited
to his attempts at quitting smoking, which may have been parodied by Lloyd Bridges in AIRPLANE! COLUMBO creators Richard
Levinson and William Link penned the screenplay, so it’s disappointing that the story isn’t more clever or complex.
Goldstone handles the opening scene of a derailed roller coaster quite well, but the movie needed another destruction scene
or two. ROLLERCOASTER would actually be ripe for a remake. Susan Strasberg has a thankless role as Segal’s
girlfriend, while Helen Hunt makes her film debut as his daughter. Also with Harry Guardino, Michael Bell, Craig Wasson,
Bruce Kimball, Dick Wesson, Robert Quarry, Steve Guttenberg, Tara Buckman and Henry Fonda (also in THE SWARM). Music
by Lalo Schifrin. Filmed at Magic Mountain, King’s Dominion in Virginia, Navy Pier in Chicago and Ocean View Park
in Virginia.
ROLLING THUNDER (1977)--Directed by John Flynn. Stars William Devane, Tommy Lee
Jones, Linda Haynes. Originally released by AIP in 1977, this movie that was co-written by Paul Schrader (TAXI DRIVER)
influenced Quentin Tarantino to the point that he named his short-lived releasing company Rolling Thunder Films. It
stars William Devane as a former 'Nam POW who returns to San Antonio after seven years in a prison camp and finds he's not
easily able to readjust to life at home, particularly because his son doesn't know him at all, and his wife has fallen in
love with another man. There are some nice performances and dialogue in these early scenes, and I appreciate that Schrader
and co-writer Heywood Gould didn't make the wife's new lover, a local deputy, a villain. He's a decent man who honestly
loves Devane's wife and has the courtesy to feel embarrassed about it.
The movie really starts to kick in about a half-hour in (Schrader
and Gould use a classic three-act structure) when some mean dudes, including ol' Sheriff Rosco himself, actor James Best,
bust in on Devane and torture him for the 2000 silver dollars given to him as a gift upon his return. He doesn't tell
them, even after losing his hand in the garbage disposal, but they find the money anyway and then murder his wife and son.
Recovering in the hospital with a new hook for a hand, Devane
hooks up with a white-trash barmaid (Linda Haynes) and a fellow POW (Tommy Lee Jones), and heads to Mexico looking for bloody
revenge. I'm not sure you can accurately call ROLLING THUNDER an action picture, since there's precious little action,
but the finale does have a kick to it, and the nice work turned in by Devane and director John Flynn (OUT FOR JUSTICE) really
elevate this film above the B-level usually associated with AIP movies. Also with Dabney Coleman, Luke Askew, Lawrason
Driscoll, Cassie Yates and Lisa Richards.
ROLLING VENGEANCE (1987)--Directed by Steven
H. Stern. Stars Don Michael Paul, Ned Beatty, Lawrence Dane, Lisa Howard. Joey Rosso (Don Michael Paul, who wrote
HARLEY DAVIDSON AND THE MARLBORO MAN!) is a young trucker who works with his dad (Lawrence Dane from RITUALS and HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO ME). Ned Beatty plays Tiny, a sleazy used car dealer and strip club owner with five drunken redneck sons. When the sons
cause a car accident that kills Joey's mom, little brother, and little sister, you'd think that would be enough to quench
their animalistic lust, but they later kill Dane by dropping cement blocks off an overhead onto his semi, and then they rape
Joey's virginal girlfriend (Lisa Howard from BOUNTY HUNTERS). Man, is Joey pissed. He builds an enormous monster truck with
fire blazing from the top and a huge corkscrew built in to the front, and drives around the "Ohio" (filmed in Ontario) countryside
squashing Tiny's family and his dealership and his bar and his warehouse and anything else that needs crushing. The script
and performances are paint-by-numbers, and there isn't really enough trashy stuff to warrant the R rating, but the monster
truck is very cool and kicks major redneck ass. Stern, who shot this in his native Ontario, was a television director
and went back to that medium after ROLLING VENGEANCE.
ROMANCING THE STONE (1984)--Directed by Robert
Zemeckis. Stars Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, Zack Norman. This film made Douglas a star. Turner plays a
romance novelist who travels to South America to rescue her sister. She also has a treasure map pinpointing the location of
a priceless jewel--a map various bad guys would to anything to get their hands on. For protection, Turner hires American mercenary
Douglas to escort her to her destination. Direction by Zemeckis is fast and witty, and Douglas and Turner have good chemistry
between them. Filmed in Mexico. JEWEL OF THE NILE was the sequel, also with DeVito.
RONIN (1998)--Directed
by John Frankenheimer. Stars Robert DeNiro, Jean Reno, Jonathan Pryce, Sean Bean. Frankenheimer has directed just about as
many exciting international thrillers than anyone else alive, and this '70s-style heist flick, while not up there with BLACK
SUNDAY or THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, is his best in quite some time. DeNiro is an American ex-CIA agent-turned-thief who is
recruited by a beautiful Irish blonde to steal a mysterious metal suitcase (what's in it? We never find out, and it doesn't
really matter. Think McGuffin...). The rest of his team includes a tough Frenchman (Reno) and an immature Englishman (Bean).
Of course there are twists and double-crosses, and no one (not even DeNiro) is who he or she seems. The plot becomes quite
incomprehensible after a while, but it doesn't really matter, because Frankenheimer really keeps things moving along too fast
to notice. Among the many shootouts and fights on crowded Parisian streets are not one but TWO excellent car chases. These
rate right up there with the BULLITT and FRENCH CONNECTION chases as some of the best ever put on film. Even more amazing
in these days of mindless special effects and computer graphics is that Frankenheimer has chosen not to use a single visual
effect in the picture. Actual stunts with actual explosions. Very exciting stuff. David Mamet wrote most of the dialogue using
a pen name.
ROOFTOPS (1989)--Directed by Robert Wise. Stars Jason Gedrick, Troy Beyer, Eddie Velez,
Tisha Campbell. Wise's first film in ten years was this awful musical set in Manhattan. Gedrick is a white orphan who falls
for Hispanic Beyer, and convinces her to leave her drug-dealing cousin (Velez). Her defection makes violent sparks fly between
Velez and Gedrick. A highly derivative foray into WEST SIDE STORY territory--a much better musical also directed by Wise.
You'd be better off watching that classic instead of this.
THE ROOKIE (1990)--Directed by Clint Eastwood.
Stars Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sonia Braga. One of Clint's worst finds him teamed up with a pampered rookie
cop (Sheen) busting a hot-car ring led by Germans Julia and Braga (who are obviously Hispanic, but oh, well...). Some of the
stunts and chases are cool, but most of this crime drama (especially Braga's forced seduction of Clint) is pretty embarrassing.
Also with Lara Flynn Boyle and Tom Skerritt, and look for former Universal contract player Mara Corday.
ROOM 13 (1964)--Directed by Harald Reinl.
Stars Joachim Fuchsberger, Karin Dor, Eddi Arent, Richard Haussler, Walter Rilla. Plenty of secret doors and compartments,
Edgar Wallace trademarks, play a factor in this West German adaptation of a Wallace novel. Suave private detective Johnny
Gray (Fuchsberger) is hired by a member of British Parliament, Sir Marney (Rilla), to investigate a blackmail attempt by Joe
Legge (Haussler). Legge plans a massive train robbery and demands the use of Marney's estate to hide the goods or else
something bad may happen to the beautiful features of Marney's daughter Denise (Dor). Legge's base of operations is
hidden behind a secret door in Room 13 of the Highlow Club.
Pretty standard Wallace fare with charming work by Tom Brokaw-lookalike
Fuchsberger and lots of twists and turns. Heck, I didn't even mention the razor-slashing murders taking place while
everything else is going on. Reinl directed several of these krimis, many of which featured the same performers in different
roles. Fuchsberger almost always played the hero, but Arent, for instance, popped up in HUNCHBACK OF SOHO as a murderous
priest and THE SECRET OF THE RED ORCHID as a bumbling butler. Peter Thomas provides the jazzy score, as usual a highpoint
for this genre. Also known as ZIMMER 13.
ROOTS OF EVIL (1992)--Directed by Gary Graver.
Stars Alex Cord, Jillian Kesner, Charles Dierkop, Deanna Lund. I wasn’t expecting much from this erotic thriller
directed by occasional pornographer Graver, but I picked it up at a flea market for $1. It’s a hilariously trashy
sickie filled with sex, violence and recognizable B-stars. Detective partners and lovers Jake (Cord) and Brenda (Kesner,
the director’s wife) are assigned to two separate cases: a serial killer (Dierkop) of streetwalkers and the Uzi
murder of a mobster.
Adam Berg’s screenplay is terrible, jettisoning anything resembling
continuity, logic or actual police investigation techniques. Cord’s character is introduced sitting in a bar getting
drunk and rambling about his long-gone dead wife and child, making you believe that he’s the latest down-and-out alcoholic
movie cop in a long line of them, but after this intro, Cord’s family is never brought up again, and we learn that he’s
actually a reasonably well-adjusted man in a loving relationship with his partner. A later key reference is made to
Cord possibly fathering a child with a film actress, but that story thread is ignored too. It comes as no surprise to
learn that the unbalanced Dierkop has a domineering mother who ignores him, and a twist involving his character’s profession
is potentially interesting, but--again--nothing is really done with it.
Fortunately, Graver doesn’t shy away from any opportunity to
showcase the breasts of his female actors. Almost every actress in the film goes topless, including Kesner (in her 40s)
and a remarkably well-preserved 54-year-old Lund, whose randy bedroom antics will surprise fans of her ‘60s series LAND
OF THE GIANTS. As for action, well, a bullet-ridden corpse falls into a swimming pool, cars explode for no reason, a
lengthy car chase is just two cars screeching back and forth down the same alley, a man apparently wearing gasoline clothing
catches on fire and stumbles about in slow motion--basically all the clichés are represented. The VHS box claims ROOTS
OF EVIL is “unrated,” although there’s nothing here that couldn’t get an R rating. It’s
perfect late-night viewing with well-placed sex scenes and shootouts to prevent you from falling asleep. Scream queens
Brinke Stevens, Delia Sheppard and Jewel Shepard round out the cast.
THE ROSARY MURDERS (1987)--Directed by Fred Walton.
Stars Donald Sutherland, Belinda Bauer, Charles Durning. Sutherland plays Father Robert Koesler, the editor of a Catholic
newspaper in Detroit, who investigates a serial killer of priests and nuns who leaves rosaries on his victims. The killer
confesses his deeds, but not his identity, to Koesler, whose vows prohibit him from sharing the information with the police.
Following the few clues he was given, Koesler discovers who the killer is, but now must figure out how he is choosing his
victims in time to prevent the next murder. The screenplay by Walton (WHEN A STRANGER CALLS) and Elmore Leonard, based
on William Kienzle’s novel, moves slowly but surely from one murder to the next, providing Koesler with an additional
puzzle piece each time. The performances and Koesler’s moral quandary provide satisfaction if you’re a mystery
fan, although the fittingly bleak Detroit locations and luxurious pacing could turn some audiences off. Also with
James Murtaugh, Josef Sommer and Anita Barone.
THE ROSEBUD BEACH HOTEL (1984)—Directed by
Harry Hurwitz. Stars Colleen Camp, Peter Scolari, Christopher Lee. The same year Tom Hanks became one of America’s
biggest movie stars with the release of BACHELOR PARTY and SPLASH, his BOSOM BUDDIES costar Scolari made THE ROSEBUD BEACH
HOTEL. And you can guess where the story goes from there. Meek Elliott Gardner (Scolari) and his stuffy fiancé
Tracy (Camp) move to Miami to manage a hotel owned by Tracy’s wealthy father (Lee). Among the various (alleged)
comic blackouts and setpieces, which often involve somebody either falling down or taking off her clothes, Lee hires an arsonist
(played by Hamilton Camp) to blow up his hotel so he can collect the insurance money. Tracy hires sexy hooker Fran Drescher
and her girlfriends as prostitute/bellhops. Guest Eddie Deezen claims to be from outer space. Twin maids Cherie
and Marie Currie form a band and perform several songs. Also with Chuck McCann, Hank Garrett, Monique Gabrielle, Jim
Vallely and Jonathan Schmock (now successful TV writers) as wacky bellhops who try to have sex with all the hookers, and Daniel
Greene (HANDS OF STEEL). Music by Jay Chattaway. Bomber Camp’s inept schemes result in his blowing up like
Wile E. Coyote. The movie opens with picture credits like a television sitcom.
R.O.T.O.R. (1989)--Directed by Cullen Blaine.
Stars Richard Gesswein, Margaret Trigg, Jayne Smith. Damn you all to Hell, R.O.T.O.R. Do not be fooled by the kickass
VHS cover art of an awesome-looking robot holding a gun and straddling a burned-out motorcycle. R.O.T.O.R. is as inept a movie
as they come, but without the riotous laughs of SAMURAI COP or THE STABILIZER.
I don't even know where to start describing the stupidity of R.O.T.O.R.,
which was directed by someone named Cullen Blaine in and around Dallas, Texas in the late 1980's. Basically it's about an
idiot named Barrett Coldyron (pronounced Cold-Iron) who works for the Dallas Police Department designing the Cop Of The Future,
a robot policeman. It's still a long ways away from being ready for the streets--at least five years--but Coldyron's corrupt
boss calls one morning and says, nope, we need it in two months. Coldyron says it can't be done and quits, leaving the project
in the hands of his nerdy assistant and a comic-relief robot (think Johnny 5 with a policeman's hat).
Meanwhile, a gay-looking Indian (hey, he admits it) janitor strikes
out while hitting on a Valley girl scientist, and accidentally sticks his switchblade comb into an electrical current. Somehow,
this revives R.O.T.O.R., which stands for: ROBOTIC OFFICER TACTICAL OPERATION RESEARCH
It also makes R.O.T.O.R., which looks like a redneck cop with a Chuck
Norris mustache, erratic. He escapes, steals a motorcycle, and pulls over a speeding car driving by a dumbass and his cute
fiance while they're having a fight about something stupid. R.O.T.O.R. believes his assignment is to exterminate criminals,
so he shoots the guy in the head. The woman, Sonya, escapes and drives all night looking for help. She eventually crosses
paths with Coldyron in at a truck stop around 5 A.M. His plan: for Sonya to drive around with a crazy, indestructible killer
robot on her tail for eleven hours, while he summons a karate-kicking, butch-looking female scientist with a skunky mullet
from Houston. She flies in, Coldyron picks her up, takes her on a leisurely drive to her hotel, where she checks in and changes
clothes. Remember that Sonya is still driving around the city being chased by R.O.T.O.R.
Finally, all three humans trap the robot near a fishing lake. Even
though Coldyron left his truck a mile away to walk through the woods to the lake, it somehow magically appears just when he
needs some equipment from it, namely primer cord, which we saw him blasting stumps with during the interminable opening reel.
While the female scientist, Dr. Steel, tries beating the crap out of the robot (unsuccessfully), Coldyron tries to make it
walk into a simplistic noose trap so he can blow it up real good.
I hope I haven't made R.O.T.O.R. sound fun or interesting, because
it ain't. Coldyron, a grouchy sort in blue jeans and a bushy mustache, is a pretentious sort who never speaks one word when
100 flowery ones will do. The performances are terrible across the board, and many of the major stars are dubbed by actors
from Adam Rourke's acting school. Obviously, plot and continuity are for shit. Except for a weird stop-motion robot skeleton
briefly seen during a dull exposition boardroom scene, there are few special effects. Action is practically non-existant,
although a dopey barroom brawl between R.O.T.O.R. and three ignorant rednecks is amusing in its incompetence.
NOTE: R.O.T.O.R.’s editor Doug Bryan had the following
to say about the film, which was his first feature editing job:
It lives!!!! That was the first feature I ever cut. It was a disaster
from the word go. Every frame they shot is in the movie, because their budget was so lean, they would often shoot just one
take. The lead actor [Richard Gesswein] was one of the investors and spoke with a really annoying nasal tone. Toward the end
of post-production, they decided to loop his lines using a "professional" actor. I had to edit in all of that shitty re-recorded
dialogue that rarely synched up properly, giving all of his scenes a Japanese feel. Boy, that guy was pissed off.
The director, Cullen Blaine, was a character designer for Hanna-Barbara
and did some of the design work on JONNY QUEST. The movie sucked complete and total ass, but was a great/weird experience.
A few weeks into editing, the writer, Budd Lewis, showed up. Turns out he was one of the main writers for the Warren comic
mags CREEPY and EERIE that I loved so as a kid. I got the real dirt on many of my favorite artists. I have to say that Budd
and Cullen were really cool people, and we had a lot of laughs. They just shouldn't have been making movies. I don't think
they ever did again.
My band at the time, Larry's Dad, contributed 2 songs to the soundtrack,
and to this day I receive royalty checks for up to $1.21 from places like Burma and Thailand.
I should mention that when ROTOR re-charges, they didn't have
any money for FX. He was basically just holding a set of jumper cables. I cashed in a favor down in the film lab and pulled
an interpositive of that scene. I cut back and forth between the print image and a negative image to have SOMETHING going
on. Jeez...
How anyone could sit through that God-awful mess is beyond my
scope of understanding. Hats off, mate!
I don't mind if you put my comments out there as long as you mention
what great guys Cullen and Budd were. Budd and I got drunk together one night and talked comics endlessly...
ROUGH CUT (1980)--Directed by Don Siegel. Stars
Burt Reynolds, David Niven, Lesley-Anne Down. Burt is an American jewel thief in London, who falls for gorgeous debutante
Down and recruits her as his partner in crime. He doesn't know that she is actually working undercover for Scotland Yard inspector
Niven. Plenty of double-crosses and plot twists ensue. Reynolds is charming in a Cary Grant-like role, and Siegel's clever
direction and beautiful European locations keep the audience involved.
ROUGH NIGHT IN JERICHO (1967)--Directed
by Arnold Laven. Stars Dean Martin, George Peppard, Jean Simmons, John McIntire. Dino is interestingly cast against
type as Alex Flood, a ruthless former lawman who owns 51% of Jericho, 100% of its law, and anybody who doesn't like it is
liable to find himself hanging from a rope in the town square. The only thing in Jericho Flood doesn't control is the
local stagecoach line owned by Molly Lang (Simmons), an old flame. Flood wants her almost as badly as he wants her business,
which becomes even tougher to grab when she partners up with a grizzled old lawman (McIntire) and his loyal younger ex-deputy
(Peppard). Sunk by Laven's pedestrian direction--it appears as though half the film takes place in Molly's kitchen,
which doesn't prevent Laven from filming each scene from the same direction--JERICHO provides enough gunplay and tense interaction
between its leads to make it worthwhile. Some of the violence, such as Martin's beating of Simmons, is uncommonly brutal
for the period. Also with Don Galloway (IRONSIDE), Richard O'Brien, Steve Sandor and Slim Pickens as Martin's bullwhip-wielding
henchman. Don Costa's score seems out of place.
ROXANNE (1987)--Directed by Fred Schepisi.
Stars Steve Martin, Daryl Hannah, Rick Rossovich, Shelley Duvall. Funny and sweet modern reworking of CYRANO, set in a New
England fire station. Martin is a fire chief with a winning personality and a humongous nose. He falls for pretty astronomer
Hannah, who falls for handsome but shy fireman Rossovich. Martin gives a terrific performance in this comedy, especially in
the scene where he deflates a barroom bully with a list of nose putdowns he's heard over the years. Also with Fred Willard
and Michael J. Pollard.
THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS (2001)--Directed by Wes Anderson.
Stars Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Danny Glover. Very quirky
comedy by Anderson, who also made RUSHMORE and BOTTLE ROCKET. I'm tentative about Anderson's films, which just don't
click for me the way they do for some people. I loved the visual style, the music and Hackman's performance, but the
domestic drama carried less impact inside Anderson's fantasy world than it would have in a "real world" setting. I can't
say that I have disliked any of Anderson's films (I haven't seen BOTTLE ROCKET), but I think RUSHMORE and TENENBAUMS are underwhelming.
THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU is my favorite, possibly because Bill Murray is so good in it, possibly because I liked
its mixture of adventure, fantasy, comedy and wistfulness. Murray also appears here as Paltrow's husband. Alec
Baldwin narrates. Score by Mark Mothersbaugh.
ROYAL WARRIORS (1986)—Directed by David Chung.
Stars Michelle Yeoh, Michael Wong, Hiroyuki Sanada. Three strangers on an airplane—Hong Kong cop Michelle (Yeoh),
Tokyo cop Peter (Sanada) and air marshal Michael (Wong)—become instant allies when they instinctively team up to thwart
a pair of hijackers. Both villains are killed, marking the three as targets for the hijackers’ old war chums.
The story is nothing new, but the actors do a nice job of creating distinct characters for whom to root (perhaps too much
in Wong’s case, as he’s more obnoxious than likable), and the many action scenes are outstanding. This was
made early in Yeoh’s career, but she’s perfectly capable of carrying a movie on her trim shoulders. She
briefly retired a couple of years later, but re-emerged in the early ‘90s to work with Jackie Chan in POLICE STORY III,
sold in the U.S. as the theatrical hit SUPERCOP.
RUCKUS (1982)--Directed by Max Kleven.
Stars Dirk Benedict, Linda Blair, Ben Johnson, Richard Farnsworth. Benedict, just off of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, is miscast
as a badass Special Forces 'Nam vet in this light outdoor adventure extremely reminiscent of FIRST BLOOD, which came out three
years later. After years of incarceration in two different POW camps, Kyle Hanson (Benedict) is left shaken and not
completely fit to rejoin regular society. Penniless, dirty and drifting through Madoc County, Alabama, Kyle is harassed
by a group of rednecks, which escalates into a county-wide manhunt engineered by a jealous deputy with his eye on pretty Jenny
(Blair), the widowed daughter-in-law of benevolent county boss Bellows (Johnson), whose son was MIA in Vietnam. The
major difference between this film and FIRST BLOOD is its humorous approach, in which the heavies are portrayed as ignorant
yokels and nobody is killed or seriously injured, despite the many chases, stunts and explosions. RUCKUS is enough fun
while it lasts, but should be considered a minor entry in the short-lived "hicksploitation" genre of the 1970's and early
'80s. Kleven's screenplay is very thin on story and characterization, and I was never quite sure what Madoc's motivation
was for hunting Kyle down, but it was refreshing to see both the sheriff (Farnsworth) and the "boss" portrayed as good guys
for a change. Blair seems nice, but has little to do, while Benedict lacks the right presence needed to believably battle
so many opponents. Also with Matt Clark, Taylor Lacher, Jon Van Ness and Cliff Pellow. Willie Nelson and Hank
Cochran wrote the songs, and Janie Fricke sang 'em. Benedict later played another 'Nam vet on THE A-TEAM. From
the director of W.B., BLUE & THE BEAN, also with Blair. The trailer and original one-sheet display the title as
RUCKUS IN MADOC COUNTY, but RUCKUS is the on-screen title.
RUDE AWAKENING (1989)--Directed by Aaron
Russo & David Greenwalt. Stars Eric Roberts, Cheech Marin, Julie Hagerty, Cliff DeYoung, Robert Carradine. Labored satire
about a pair of hippie radicals (Roberts, Marin) who have been hiding out from the CIA in Central America for twenty years.
They finally return to New York, and look up their old friends (Hagerty, Carradine) who have succumbed to materialism and
become yuppies. The cast tries hard, but there just aren't enough laughs in the screenplay. Also with Andrea Martin, Buck
Henry, Louise Lasser and Cindy Williams.
THE RULES OF ATTRACTION (2002)--Directed
by Roger Avary. Stars James Van Der Beek, Ian Somerhalder, Shannyn Sossamon, Kip Pardue, Jessica Biel. If you've
ever wondered what would result if the Oscar-winning co-writer of PULP FICTION directed a teen sex romp like AMERICAN PIE,
THE RULES OF ATTRACTION is it. Based upon a 1987 novel by Bret Easton Ellis (AMERICAN PSYCHO), RULES is a fitfully stylish
though pointless exercise in cheeky theatrics and nihilism. Approached as high camp, one can find a few cheap thrills
in the proceedings, especially the casting of gooey heartthrobs from the WB as coke-snorting idiots, but taken as straight
drama, RULES' rambling grows old in a hurry.
It was written for the screen and directed by Roger Avary, who followed
up PULP FICTION with the bloody caper film KILLING ZOE and now this. You can certainly see PULP director Quentin Tarantino's
influence on Avary's directing style, which is very energetic and abrasive, especially in his use of "backwards time"--that
is, literally reversing the film to show us how the characters got to the point where we're introduced to them. One
marvelous split-screen sequence in which we see two characters going about their regular Saturday morning routine and finally
meeting each other is my favorite shot in a movie this year.
Unfortunately, all of Avary's visual flair and camera pyrotechnics
can't overcome the film's central flaw, which is that every character is a self-absorbed ninny, preening pretty boys and girls
who make the vapid cast of THE REAL WORLD look like Peace Corp veterans. Is it possible to like a film in which you
hate everybody in it? Perhaps, if they have at least one admirable quality about them, like maybe being a good piano
player or caring for a sick mother or something. The characters in RULES OF ATTRACTION lack the ability to think any
farther ahead than their next orgasm or drug hit. When one character thinks aloud, "I need to get laid and I need to
get more pot," that really is the extent of his ambition.
That character is Sean Bateman, a small-time campus drug dealer
and big-time jerk (as well as brother of AMERICAN PSYCHO anti-hero Patrick Bateman, to whom RULES makes a brief in-jokey reference),
played by DAWSON'S CREEK star James Van Der Beek. Someone is leaving anonymous love letters in Sean's mailbox.
Could it be cynical virgin Lauren (Shannyn Sossamon), who's saving herself for boyfriend Victor (Kip Pardue), currently making
his way across Europe in a drug- and sex-fueled haze? Or gentle-featured Paul (Ian Somerhalder), Lauren's bisexual ex
with a yen for seducing straight males on "X". Or Lauren's sexpot roomie Lara (Jessica Biel of 7TH HEAVEN), a tight-bodied
tart who allegedly once slept with the entire football team during a cocaine binge.
Avary's point, if there is one (and I suppose it may also have been
Ellis', although I haven't read his book), is that unrequited love is a curse to the pretty people of the world, just as it
is to us, and that all the money, looks and privilege in the world can't buy happiness. Okay, not a particularly original
point, as we know from dozens of romantic comedies over the years, but a perfectly valid one, this time, though, tainted by
Avary's sick, shallow, selfish youths in need of a good spanking. What it boils down to for me is that I really couldn't
have cared less whether any of these people found love, happiness or a kick in the ass. I wouldn't spend four seconds
with any of them in real life, so why two hours in a dark movie theater?
Besides Avary's ballsy enthusiasm, there is some joy to be found
in the performances, which are professional and, in the case of Van Der Beek, hilarious. See Dawson glower. See
Dawson make creepy sex faces. Even see Dawson take a long morning crap in one of Avary's more senseless moments.
With his Frankensteinian cranium and teen dream baggage, Van Der Beek definitely holds the screen whenever he's on it.
Often shot from above like Stanley Kubrick did Jack Nicholson in THE SHINING (proving Tarantino had a partner in ripping off
older filmmakers in PULP FICTION), Van Der Beek relishes his opportunity to play Dawson's evil twin, bringing the right amount
of arrogant insouciance along with him (his emotionless tryst with Biel conjures images of a rummy WB Christmas party).
Rule number one about THE RULES OF ATTRACTION: don't talk
about it. If you do, someone might get the bright idea to do a sequel.
Also with Kate Bosworth (BLUE CRUSH) as a sexy bimbo, Thomas Ian
Nicholas (AMERICAN PIE), Jay Baruchel (UNDECLARED), Eric Stoltz, Russel Sams, Clifton Collins Jr., Swoozie Kurtz and Faye
Dunaway. Fred Savage (THE WONDER YEARS) pops up uncredited as a junkie, and Paul Williams ("The Rainbow Connection")
has a funny bit as an ER doctor.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (2000)--Directed by William
Friedkin. Stars Tommy Lee Jones, Samuel L. Jackson, Guy Pearce, Bruce Greenwood. RULES OF ENGAGEMENT is a solid courtroom
thriller that sometimes seems like it wants to be something more. It asks some interesting questions: when is killing in combat
murder? Should the word of a decorated Vietnam veteran with 30 years of service to his country count for something? Is it
okay to kill one enemy in cold blood to save the lives of American servicemen? Whereas TV's THE PRACTICE would tackle such
ethical issues with glee, RULES is content to do an end run around them, choosing not to answer the queries it raises, and
settling for being a slick and well-performed melodrama.
In 1968 Vietnam, Marine Terry Childers (Samuel L. Jackson)
saves the life of pal Hayes Hodges (Tommy Lee Jones) by executing a Vietnamese POW. 28 years later, both are still in the
Corps--Childers, a highly decorated colonel; Hodges, a barely-distinctive lawyer on the eve of retirement. On a mission in
Yemen to rescue the U.S. Ambassador (Ben Kingsley) and his family from civilian protestors outside the American Embassy, all
hell breaks loose, and Childers gives his soldiers the command to open fire on the demonstrators. 83 Yemeni are killed, and
the U.S. Government, hoping to pass the responsibility for the deaths to someone else, holds Childers responsible, and charges
him with 83 counts of murder. Not trusting his legal case to "some Starbuck's drinker who's never seen combat", Childers calls
on his old buddy Hodges to defend him. Hodges, a lonely alcoholic suffering from a severe lack of self-confidence, tries to
convince Childers to look elsewhere for assistance, but Terry is adamant.
Hodges's case is reliant on a videotape
made by a security camera at the scene which clearly shows that the civilians fired first, and that Childers was justified
in ordering the use of deadly force. Ironically, only one person ever sees that tape: the National Security Advisor (Bruce
Greenwood), who destroys it in the belief that blaming the incident entirely on Childers is in the country's best interest.
Greenwood, an actor I like, gives a very good performance in spite of the fact that his character's motivations are quite
murky. The existence of such a videotape would actually benefit the U.S.'s position, and a cover-up to suppress it must exist
only because the plot requires one.
Jones and Jackson also turn in strong work. Their characters have very little
backstory, and only subsist within the confines of Stephen Gaghan's (TRAFFIC) screenplay. Despite their strong friendship,
they engage in a punchout simply because that's what macho movie guys do; of course afterwards, they lie on the floor, bloodied
and laughing. Guy Pearce (from L.A. CONFIDENTIAL) is a bit strident as a bulldoggish prosecutor, while Kingsley and Anne Archer
as his wife are mostly wasted in roles that seem to promise more than the script allows them to deliver.
Director
William Friedkin is a master at generating tension, as evidenced by his '70s classics THE FRENCH CONNECTION, THE EXORCIST
and the underrated SORCERER. The battle scenes are among the best since SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, and Friedkin has clearly captured
the chaos of a firefight in an unfamiliar country. Former Secretary of the Navy James Webb, who expressed displeasure with
Friedkin's original cut, originated the story, and it's possible the film's failure to answer the challenging questions it
asks may have been an effort to appease Webb. If so, it's too bad, since a bit more bite definitely would have made these
RULES more engaging.
Mark Isham's score is standard snare-drum military fare, while location work in Morocco captures
the desolation and despair of Yemen. The last theatrical release by one-time wunderkind Friedkin, who has had more comebacks
than George Foreman, was 1995's JADE, a sleazy box-office flop starring a post-NYPD BLUE David Caruso. Also with Philip Baker
Hall, Blair Underwood, Dale Dye, Nicky Katt, Richard McGonagle, David Graf and Emmy-winner Gordon Clapp from NYPD BLUE.
RUMBLE
IN THE BRONX (1996)--Directed by Stanley Tong. Stars Jackie Chan, Anita Mui, Francoise Yip. Jackie Chan is the biggest
box-office star in every country on Earth...except in the United States. In Hong Kong, Chan's films make up nine of the ten
biggest grossers ever (JURASSIC PARK is number one). This attempt at American stardom contains all the elements that have
made Jackie the king of the chopsockys: wild stunts, fast-moving action and, most importantly, a great sense of humor. Chan,
who does all his amazing, death-defying stunts himself (can you imagine Bruce, Jean-Claude or Sly doing that?), has been greatly
influenced by the great silent comics, and touches of Keaton or Lloyd can be seen in most of his films.
The plot is not much: Jackie, in New York (actually unrealistic
Vancouver sets) for his uncle's wedding, becomes involved with a vicious motorcycle gang against diamond smugglers looking
for their stash hidden in the cushion of a handicapped youngster's wheelchair. He also becomes cozy with a pair of gorgeous
Chinese women: the manager of Chan's uncle's supermarket (Mui), and the gang leader's girlfriend and sister of the crippled
boy, played by the headturningly stunning Yip.
Of course what's really important here are the chases (one involving
a large hovercraft), martial arts battles and jaw-dropping stunts (Chan broke his ankle leaping onto the hovercraft from a
suspension bridge; he painted the cast to resemble a shoe, and completed the film with only one day lost). This is why audiences
go to Jackie Chan films, and they won't be disappointed by the action on display here. Sure, the characters are one-dimensional,
the story is flimsy, and the dubbing atrocious, but RUMBLE IN THE BRONX is a lot of fun. Welcome to America, Jackie. Michael
J. Duthie is billed as "editorial consultant"; I assume his role was to cut the film to appeal to a mainstream American audience.
RUN, ANGEL, RUN (1969)--Directed by Jack Starrett. Stars William Smith, Valerie Starrett. A Devil's
Advocate biker gang member (Smith) sells an expose of his gang's raping and pillaging to LIKE magazine. He retires to a sheep
ranch in California to live a normal life with his girlfriend (Starrett). It's pretty quiet until four Advocates show up for
revenge. The director and female lead were married; Valerie also co-wrote the script. From the director of RACE WITH THE DEVIL.
RUN FOR THE SUN (1956)--Directed by Roy Boulting.
Stars Richard Widmark, Jane Greer, Trevor Howard, Peter van Eyck. Believe it or not, THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME author
Richard Connell actually receives story credit on this "SuperScope 235" production. Has any short story been ripped
off as many times as GAME? This exciting adventure stars Widmark as Mike Latimer, a macho Hemingway-esque scribe with
writer's block who's dropped out to Mexico after his wife ran away with his best friend, and Greer as Katie Connors, a magazine
journalist who's tracked him down for a feature article, only to feel guilty after she falls in love with him. While
flying to Mexico City, Mike's plane crashes in the jungle, where they are rescued by reclusive Brit Browne (Howard) and his
archeologist friend Anders (van Eyck). After Mike discovers his benefactors' true identities, RUN turns into a chase
through the jungle as he and Katie try to reach safety by using the sun as a compass. Although the final reel contains
a major plothole or two, Boulting's suspenseful direction, Joseph LaShelle's masterful camerawork, and Fred Steiner's urgent
score combine for a satisfying adventure, capped by fine performances from the four leads. One flaw is that it tak
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