Robowar-Ruthless People

THE ROCK (1996)--Directed by Michael Bay. Stars Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, Michael Biehn. Silly, preposterous, but energetic action flick that works mostly because of the talent of its stars. Harris is a U.S. Army Congressional Medal of Honor winner who becomes upset with the government after many of his comrades were killed in various covert missions over the years, yet their families were denied benefits, since according to Washington, these missions never happened. Harris puts together his own army of soldiers, engineers a robbery of lethal nerve gas, and takes hostages on Alcatraz Island. He plans to use these missiles to kill most of the citizenry of San Francisco and Oakland unless the Washington bureaucrats give in to his demands. To mount a rescue mission, the feds send in Stanley Goodspeed (Cage), a lab nerd who barely passed his weaponry training with the F.B.I and has little experience in fieldwork, and John Mason (Connery), a British spy captured by the Feds in the '60s and illegally imprisoned since. He's along because he's the only man to ever successfully escape from Alcatraz.

Cage and Connery make a delightful team; both men seem to be having a good time, and Cage in particular makes for an eccentric yet engaging action hero. Harris works hard at giving his villain more than one dimension, which is unusual for a big-budget summer action movie. Bay's background in music videos is evident (I doubt if any individual shot lasts for over five seconds), as the sharp editing and crisp photography help keep the pace moving. Hans Zimmer's score is awful (and much too loud), but that's a small quibble. The script is really just a clothesline to hang a bunch of action scenes and one-liners on, but they are good ones. Supporting cast is also first-rate: David Morse, John Spencer, Tony Todd and the gorgeous Vanessa Marcil as the improbable sexpot girlfriend of science nerd Cage. Connery, Cage and Harris elevate THE ROCK over most films of this type.

ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK (1956)--Directed by Fred F. Sears. Stars Bill Haley and His Comets, Johnny Johnston, Henry Slate, Alan Freed. Leave it to Columbia Pictures schlockmeister Sam Katzman to jump onto the rock-and-roll bandwagon before anyone else, and produce the world's first feature about rock. During a cross-country drive to New York, talent manager Johnston and comic relief sidekick Slate stop off in a tiny Midwestern burg where the teenagers spend their Saturday nights boppin' to a new kind of beat--a rock-and-roll beat. Johnston's never heard anything like Bill Haley and His Comets before, but he quickly signs the band to a deal and brings them to the attention of high-powered New York DJ Freed (playing himself). This movie only exists for the musical numbers, which are mostly cool; Haley does nine tunes, The Platters perform "Only You" and "The Great Pretender", and Freddie Bell and the Bellboys and Tony Martinez also perform. Sears, Katzman, Freed and Haley reunited in 56 for DON'T KNOCK THE ROCK.

ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL (1979)--Directed by Allan Arkush & Joe Dante. Stars P.J. Soles, Vincent Van Patten, Dey Young, Clint Howard, Mary Woronov, The Ramones. Another New World cult film by the directors of HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD. Perky high school cheerleader Soles is obsessed with the Ramones, so obsessed that she thinks nothing of skipping class and staying up all night to be first in line to buy tickets for their concert. However, she butts heads with principal Woronov, who plans to keep students in hand by banning rock and roll music from the school. The cast is good and there are some funny moments, but the humor is too tame for a New World movie and, unless you're a Ramones fan, there's probably too much music. Also with New World regulars Dick Miller and Paul Bartel. Executive produced by Roger Corman. Joey Ramone died of lymphoma in April 2001 at the age of 49.

THE ROCKETEER (1991)--Directed by Joe Johnston. Stars Bill Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Arkin, Timothy Dalton. One of the best comic book movies ever made, it was a box-office flop for Disney, which is too bad since it would have great to see some sequels. Campbell plays a young pilot in the '30s who discovers a rocket pack that enables him to fly at great speeds. With his mechanic sidekick Peevey (Arkin, who is fun), Campbell becomes the Rocketeer, donning a costume and bullet-shaped helmet, to battle Nazi spy Dalton (playing a Hollywood star based on Errol Flynn). Connelly is beautiful and sweet as Campbell's girlfriend and the object of Dalton's affections, who was originally based on pinup queen Betty Page. Well-scripted by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo (THE FLASH) with great special effects by Industrial Light and Magic, this is one of the most fun adventures of the '90s, and better than any of the overly garish BATMAN egotrips. Based on an early '80s graphic novel by Dave Stevens, who, of course, was heavily influenced by KING OF THE ROCKETMEN and other Republic serials featuring the Commando Cody character. Also with Paul Sorvino, Terry O'Quinn, Tiny Ron, Clint Howard and Ed Lauter. From the director of HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS.

ROCKETSHIP X-M (1950)--Directed by Kurt Neumann. Stars John Emery, Lloyd Bridges, Hugh O'Brien, Ona Massey, Noah Beery, Jr. Started the whole science-fiction craze of the 1950s. A rocket crashlands on Mars, and the crew fights atomically scarred mutants. The astronauts don't have enough fuel to get back to Earth, but they take off anyway in an attempt to warn the people back home of the dangers of atomic warfare. Dull science fiction is interesting only to see early roles by future TV stars Bridges (SEA HUNT), O'Brien (THE LIFE AND LEGEND OF WYATT EARP) and Beery (THE ROCKFORD FILES).

THE ROCKFORD FILES (1974)--Directed by Richard T. Heffron. Stars James Garner, Lindsay Wagner, William Smith, Nita Talbot, Joe Santos, Robert Donley, Stuart Margolin. In the pilot film for television's greatest private-eye series, Garner is Jim Rockford, a world-weary, cynical private detective working out of his Malibu beach trailer. Rockford, who learned to be wary of strangers while serving five years in San Quentin on a trumped-up armed robbery charge (for which he was pardoned), is hired by a beautiful young woman, Sara Butler (Wagner), to investigate the murder of her father Harry, a wino who was found strangled and robbed beneath a pier. The police, including Rockford's detective friend Sgt. Becker (Santos), have filed the case in the inactive drawer due to a lack of leads and the victim's social status. Rockford, who demands $200 per day for his services (plus expenses), is reluctant to take the case at first, until his curiosity is stirred by a run-in with dimwitted but dangerous karate master Jerry Grimes (Smith) and Mildred Elias (Talbot), the widow of a millionaire who dropped dead on their wedding night.

The pilot, penned by producer Stephen J. Cannell from a story by MAVERICK creator Roy Huggins, does the job it set out to do, which was to sell the series to NBC. Garner is wonderful, of course, since he basically invented the reluctant hero-who's-in-it-for-the-money-and-would-rather-talk-his-way-out-of-trouble-than-fight in MAVERICK. If he didn't invent it, he sure created a new archetype. No one does this character better than Garner, who endows Rockford with a wry sense of humor and a strong sense of character. The movie also sets up Rockford's firm pay rates (reportedly a response to a MANNIX episode in which the hero agreed to take on a case for a little boy in exchange for three dollars and a bottle cap), his loving relationship with his father Rocky (Donley, replaced by Noah Beery Jr. in the series), his poor credit rating, his rabid streak of independence, and, of course, his tan Pontiac Firebird, with which Rockford could outdrive anyone.

Although 21 years his junior, Wagner shows nice chemistry with Garner, and displays the charm that would win her the Emmy-winning role of Jaime Sommers, the ill-fated love of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN who would land her own series, THE BIONIC WOMAN. Smith, always a welcome heavy, plays a pivotal role in establishing the Rockford character when he is sucker-punched by the danger-avoiding dick. Santos and Margolin, who underplays cowardly informant Angel here (although he wouldn't in the series, winning two Emmys in the process), lend amiable support, although Donley is tough to take if you're used to the amiable charm of Noah Beery.

Heffron does a nice job keeping things moving, allowing Garner's natural aura to shine and providing a slam-bang (though incredulous) desert climax. The music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter is lively, though closer in spirit to the jazz-type scores of previous TV cop shows than the innovative guitar-and-harmonica rock scores they would use on the series. Also with Michael Lerner, Bill Mumy (LOST IN SPACE), Ted Gehring, Joshua Bryant, Bill Quinn, Luis Delgado and Garners brother Jack. THE ROCKFORD FILES ran more than five seasons on NBC, despite appearing in the Top 25 only one time. The pilot pops up in syndicated reruns as a two-part episode titled "Backlash of the Hunter".

THE ROCKFORD FILES: A BLESSING IN DISGUISE (1995)--Directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Stars James Garner, Richard Romanus, Renee O'Connor. Private dick Jim Rockford (Garner) comes out of retirement to protect a pretty witness (O'Connor) from the Mob. Always nice to see Garner on screen, and he meshes well with his ROCKFORD cronies. Also with Joe Santos as Dennis Becker, Stuart Margolin as con man Angel, Aharon Ipale, Eric Lutes and Morton Downey Jr. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: CRIME AND PUNISHMENT (1996)--Directed by David Chase. Stars James Garner, Kathryn Harrold, Joe Santos, Stuart Margolin. Laidback private eye Jim Rockford and his brown Pontiac Firebird become embroiled in another case when he runs across an old flame, blind book editor Megan Dougherty (Harrold). Her no-good playboy cousin Patrick is involved with the Russian Mob, which puts everyone's life in danger. The weary Rockford must also deal with his old friend Angel (Margolin), who is painting Jim's trailer to work off a debt. Also with Bryan Cranston, Richard Kiley, Ramy Zada and Jack Garner. Writer-director Chase (THE SOPRANOS) loosely adapted Dostoyevsky's classic novel. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: FRIENDS AND FOUL PLAY (1996)--Directed by Stuart Margolin. Stars James Garner, Marcia Strassman, Wendy Phillips, David Proval, James Luisi. Laconic private detective Jim Rockford (Garner) is hired by the regulars at the beachside restaurant he frequents to find the killer of their favorite waitress (Phillips). The prime suspect is a mobster named Happy (so called because of his nervous habit of giggling while kicking the crap out of his victims), played by Proval, who went on to play Richie Aprile on THE SOPRANOS. To gain access to the murder scene, Rockford enrolls in a university criminology class taught by Dr. Trish George (Strassman), much to the chagrin of the class's guest lecturer: Rockford's old nemesis Captain Chapman (Luisi). The cast of TV's THE ROCKFORD FILES--including Joe Santos as police pal Becker, Stuart Margolin as rascally Angel and Gretchen Corbett as attorney-turned-writer Beth--return to back up Garner in this reunion TV-movie penned by original series creator Stephen J. Cannell. Also with Jason Bernard, Molly Hagan, Ivan Sergei, Stefan Gierasch and Matt Gallini. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: GODFATHER KNOWS BEST (1996)--Directed by Tony Wharmby. Stars James Garner, Joe Santos, Maxwell Caulfield, Damian Chapa. Retired PI Jim Rockford (Garner) is called in to investigate when his godson Scott Becker (Chapa) becomes involved with some shady people. Santos gets plenty of screen time as Rockford's best pal Lt. Dennis Becker, and Pat Finley reprises her guest role from the '70s crime drama as Becker's wife Peg. Also with Stuart Margolin and Edita Brychta. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: I STILL LOVE L.A. (1994)--Directed by James Whitmore Jr. Stars James Garner, Joanna Cassidy, Joseph Campanella. First of eight made-for-TV movies reuniting Garner with the Jim Rockford character that made him an Emmy-winning actor in the '70s and one of the most popular and likable TV actors of all time. Fifteen years later, the laidback Rockford is still living in a trailer on the beach, doing some fishing and relaxing and completely retired from the gumshoe biz. That is until his vivacious attorney ex-wife Kit (Cassidy), who's representing a pair of spoiled teens accused of killing their mother, needs his help. While the plot is kind of thin and the backstory of a former marriage comes out of left field, it's always nice to see old friends again. And, yes, Rockford still has the signature answering machine. Also with Joe Santos, Stuart Margolin, Daniel Benzali, Lawrence Pressman, Hoke Howell and Jack Garner. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: IF IT BLEEDS...IT LEADS (1999)--Directed by Stuart Margolin. Stars James Garner, Rita Moreno, Joe Santos, Hal Linden. The last of eight ROCKFORD FILES reunions made for CBS sat on the shelf for nearly two years before it finally aired. It's much more serious than you'd expect, and closely shadows the real-life story of Richard Jewell, the Atlanta security guard who was unfairly accused by the media in the Olympic Park bombings.

Retired PI Jim Rockford (Garner) is asked by his old friend Rita Kapkovic (Moreno, returning to the role that won her an Emmy in the '70s) to investigate a series of child rapes when her husband, respected school teacher Ernie Landale (Linden), is accused, but not initially charged, with the crimes. The mystery and identity of the rapist is really not the issue in Reuben Leder's teleplay (from a story by ROCKFORD FILES producers Juanita Bartlett and Stephen J. Cannell), but the way in which the media grabs onto a juicy story and doesn't let go, no matter who gets hurt along the way. Landale is an honest and decent man whose reputation is unfairly tarnished, which leads to a tragic ending. Though all the veteran cast members do good work here (although Margolin's miscreant Angel character has grown a bit old and tiresome), Linden (TV's BARNEY MILLER) delivers a particularly strong performance as a man who becomes just as much of a victim as the young girls he is accused of assaulting. Also with Gretchen Corbett, Tom Atkins, Loryn Locklin, Denise Crosby, George Wyner, Juanita Jennings and Jack Garner. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: IF THE FRAME FITS... (1996)--Directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Stars James Garner, Dyan Cannon, Joe Santos, Gretchen Corbett. In a story we saw a million times on THE ROCKFORD FILES, private eye Jim Rockford (Garner) is framed for a crime he didn't commit--this time the murder of a rival detective. Rockford hires old flame Beth Davenport (Corbett), now a successful novelist, to represent him, while teaming with buddy Lt. Becker (Santos) to find the real killer. Crisp dialogue and familiar characters we love spending time with is more important than plot when you're watching ROCKFORD, and whether he's tossing sharp barbs at police rivals Chapman and Diehl, bickering with Angel, visiting his dad Rocky's gravesite or catching up with old flame Beth, Jim Rockford is one of television's most endearing characters, and it's always fun to watch him. With Stuart Margolin as Angel, Tom Atkins as Diehl, James Luisi as Captain Chapman, Carmen Argenziano, Steve Eastin, Jack Garner and Linden Chiles. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

THE ROCKFORD FILES: MURDERS AND MISDEMEANORS (1997)--Directed by Tony Wharmby. Stars James Garner, Joe Santos, John Amos, Denise Nicholas. Jim Rockford (Garner) is asked by police pal Dennis Becker (Santos) to assist in the investigation of a pair of vice cops suspected of being dirty. He also spends time with a terminally ill friend and fellow private detective played by Amos. Nice cast includes Stuart Margolin, Denise Nicholas, Conrad Janis, Dan Lauria, Eugene Roche and Isabel Glasser. Music by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter.

ROCKSHOW (1980)—Stars Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney, Denny Laine, Jimmy McCulloch, Joe English. Paul McCartney & Wings’ 1976 North American tour was the first time the ex-Beatle had played Stateside in ten years. If you’ve heard the wonderful triple album WINGS OVER AMERICA, you know what to expect from this concert film released by Miramax in 1980. I remember it playing midnight shows during the early ‘80s. Some of Wings’ fluffier recorded material, such as “Silly Love Songs,” sounds much cooler with the harder edge given them in this live chronicle. Obviously, Paul is the centerpiece of the film, and he appears to be having a great time. He loved playing live (he was the only Beatle to vote against giving up their touring career), and this lineup with former Moody Blue Laine (who does “Go Now”), young lead guitarist McCulloch (who sadly died of a drug overdose at age 26), and drummer English is Wings’ best. ROCKSHOW carries no credits, but it’s likely McCartney directed it. It’s not a very good looking film, and all video prints I’ve seen are quite murky. I’d like to see it on a big screen. Both Paul and Linda wear unfortunate mullets. Laine was the band’s secret weapon; his “Time to Hide” is a highlight. Thelma Schoonmaker edited ROCKSHOW around the time she did RAGING BULL. Highlights include “Band on the Run,” “Hi Hi Hi,” “Venus and Mars/Rockshow/Jet” (the opener), and “Soily,” which I believe was never recorded by Wings. Surprisingly, very little Beatles material is covered, though Wings had a broad enough catalog by this time that it didn’t need to.

ROCKY (1976)--Directed by John G. Avildsen. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, Carl Weathers. Sleeper hit somehow won Oscars for Best Picture and Best Director. Sly plays Rocky Balboa, a third-rate boxer who has dreams of the big time. His dreams come true when he gets a shot at the heavyweight title. He also falls in love with the shy Shire along the way. Touching screenplay by Stallone, who refused to sell the script unless he was allowed to play Balboa, was Oscar-nominated, as was his performance. Climactic fight with Apollo Creed (Weathers) is exciting. Also with Joe Spinell, Thayer David, boxer Joe Frazier and Frank Stallone. Bill Conti composed the familiar music.

ROCKY II (1979)--Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, Carl Weathers. Pretty much the same movie as the first. Rocky wants a rematch with Creed. He gets it, but not before many soap opera histrionics get in the way. Stallone directs the climactic fight scene well. Script by Stallone.

ROCKY III (1983)--Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Mr. T, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, Hulk Hogan. The ROCKY franchise received a real shot in the arm with this entry, thanks to a raucous performance by Mr. T. The future A-TEAM star plays Clubber Lang, a brutal boxer who takes the heavyweight crown away from Rocky. Balboa wants it back, but trainer Meredith has passed away and he's having marital problems with Adrian (Shire). Apollo Creed (Weathers) becomes his new trainer and helps Rocky regain his title. Better than the previous ROCKY film. Survivor performs "Eye of the Tiger" on the soundtrack.

ROCKY IV (1985)--Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Dolph Lundgren, Brigitte Nielsen, Michael Pataki. Sly should have stopped after three. This time Rocky's buddy Apollo Creed is killed in the ring by a Russian superman (Lundgren). Rocky goes to Russia to avenge his friend's death. By the end of the match, the Russian crowd is cheering Balboa! Film is 91 minutes long; fight scenes take up 30 minutes, and another 30 minutes are training montages, which leaves about a half-hour of actual dialogue and plot development. Another hour wouldn't have helped. Nielsen became Mrs. Stallone for a short time.

ROCKY BALBOA (2006)—Directed by Sylvester Stallone. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young, Geraldine Hughes, Milo Ventimiglia, Antonio Tarver. Almost thirty years to the day after ROCKY won three Academy Awards, including Best Picture, ROCKY BALBOA, the sixth in the series, hit DVD. You'd have to either try very hard or be a total scrooge to dislike it. Released theatrically just before Christmas, ROCKY BALBOA is an old-fashioned, quaintly directed and performed drama driven partially by nostalgia, but mostly by heart.

Ignoring the events of the ignominious ROCKY V, ROCKY BALBOA picks up four years after the death of Adrian (played in earlier films by Talia Shire), beloved wife of former heavyweight champion Rocky (Sylvester Stallone, of course, who also directed and wrote the screenplay). Life just isn't the same for Rocky without Adrian, even though he has a grown son (Milo Ventimiglia) and a nice restaurant, where he dons a blazer and entertains the diners with old fight stories. And, of course, grumpy brother-in-law Paulie (Burt Young) is still around, even though he's grown weary of Rocky talking about his dead wife all the time.

Stallone the writer bites off more than his 101-minute running time can chew, as he gives Rocky something of a surrogate family. Balboa befriends a lonely barkeeper, Marie (played well by Irish actress Geraldine Hughes), who once cursed Rocky when she was a kid. Now a single mother with a half-Jamaican teenager, Steps (James Francis Kelly III), she initially is suspicious of Rocky's kindness, but comes to like the big lug.

Meanwhile, the plot kicks in, which finds Rocky agreeing to an exhibition match with Mason "The Line" Dixon (Antonio Tarver), the current heavyweight champion, after an ESPN computer simulation has the in-his-prime Balboa knocking Dixon out. Surprisingly, Rocky's friends go easy on the nay-saying, and mostly support his decision to fight a man 30 years his junior on pay-per-view television. We do too, if only because it leads to the moment we've been waiting for: the requisite training montage, complete with Rocky downing raw eggs, running up those iconic stone stairs, and working out to Bill Conti's rousing theme.

I say Stallone bit too much off, because some of his character arcs are inadequately fleshed out. After a couple of early bonding scenes between Rocky and Steps, the young man virtually vanishes from the latter half of the film. Likewise, Balboa's relationships with Marie and with Rocky Jr. feel unfinished. One can't fault Stallone's sincerity, however, as an actor, writer or director. Considering he hadn't directed a film since 1986's cartoonish ROCKY IV, he steps back behind the camera assuredly, and perks up the climactic bout using digital cameras to give it the look and feel of an actual TV broadcast, complete with on-screen graphics and the use of actual announcers like Jim Lampley and Larry Merchant to play themselves.

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975)--Directed by Jim Sharman. Stars Barry Bostwick, Susan Sarandon, Tim Curry, Richard O'Brien, Charles Gray, Meat Loaf. Amazingly popular cult film has been playing the midnight circuit since its original release. Some people claim to have seen it 500 times or more. They come dressed as their favorite characters, dance in the aisles, throw things at the screen, and act out the dialogue along with the characters. In fact, the show inside the theater is much more entertaining than the film itself. Plot concerns a conservative couple (Bostwick and Sarandon) whose car breaks down in the rain. Looking for shelter, they turn up at the castle of a colorful transvestite (Curry), who has created an artificial creature named Rocky Horror. Curry is fabulous in a role that seems created for Mick Jagger, and some of the songs are clever, but there really isn't much to the film. Based on Sharman and O'Brien's stage play.

RODAN (1957)--Directed by Inoshiro Honda. One of the earliest and best Japanese monster movies. Two giant pterodactyls destroy Tokyo. Not bad special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya. In color and only 70 minutes long.

ROGER & ME (1989)--Directed by Michael Moore. Excellent satirical documentary chronicling Moore's attempts to visit General Motors chairman Roger Smith after Smith's layoffs of thousands of auto plant workers in Flint, Michigan. Moore is like a bulldog in his determination to make the elusive Smith answer for his actions, but he is thwarted by GM officials every step of the way. Moore also turns his cameras on Flint and his residents, and lets us see how the townspeople are holding up in hard times. A fascinating look at unemployment and big business bureaucracy, with interesting (and not very flattering) glimpses of celebrities like Pat Boone, Bob Eubanks, Anita Bryant and Miss America Lani Rae Rafko. The omission of this film from 1990's Best Documentary Oscar nominees is one of the Academy's all-time biggest boners.

ROGER DODGER (2002)--Directed by Dylan Kidd. Stars Campbell Scott, Jesse Eisenberg, Isabella Rossellini. Scott is fantastic as a misogynist double-talker in this chatty drama filmed in New York. Roger (Scott) is a smug bastard all right, a copywriter having an affair with his older boss (Rossellini). The day after she breaks off their secret affair--and he learns he has specifically not been invited to a party at her apartment that night that the rest of the office will be attending--he is unexpectedly paid a visit by his 16-year-old nephew Nick (Eisenberg) from Ohio. Nick, a virgin, has heard stories from his mother about Roger's (alleged) womanizing--much of what we see is guided by the fact that we don't actually know how successful Roger is with the ladies, Rossellini aside--and has come seeking tutoring in pitching woo. Or, more accurately, getting laid. If you can abide cinematographer Joaquin Baca-Asay's jittery, headache-inducing camerawork and an overly friendly ending that feels tacked on, you'll find much to like in ROGER. Scott pulls off an extremely difficult role, a bitter, lonely cocksman who appears to hate women almost as much as he hates himself, but played sympathetically so in a manner that urges us to root for him anyway. Also chipping in a pair of sensitive performances that may surprise you are Jennifer Beals (FLASHDANCE) and Elizabeth Berkley (SHOWGIRLS) as big-city party girls who become Roger and Nick's conquests for the night. Music by Craig Wedren.

ROGUE (2007)—Directed by Greg Mclean. Stars Radha Mitchell, Michael Vartan, Sam Worthington, John Jarratt, Caroline Brazier. Lagging just behind ALLIGATOR in the top tier of great killer gator/croc movies, the Australian ROGUE is more serious and scarier than Lewis Teague and John Sayles’ tongue-in-cheek take on JAWS. Tourists on a boat tour in the Outback are stranded on a tiny island slowly sinking into the tide, where a monstrous and hungry crocodile awaits his nightly feeding. The older supporting actors fare better than the young stars, though Mitchell (PITCH BLACK) is appealing as the lady in charge. Mclean (WOLF CREEK) handles the action and scares professionally, but kudos go to the visual effects team, which has created a realistically creepy critter that chomps with the best of ‘em.

ROGUE COP (1954)--Directed by Roy Rowland. Stars Robert Taylor, Janet Leigh, George Raft, Steve Forrest. Taylor scores as Chris Kelvaney, a crooked detective out for revenge against the gangster (Raft) who ordered the murder of his brother (Forrest), a rookie patrolman. An excellent supporting cast and moody Oscar-nominated cinematography by John F. Seitz set the pace for this well-made film noir. Taylor does a fine job as a man, shunned by his peers, seeking redemption after the same men for whom he's sacrificed his own identity kill his only family member. Raft, of course, is good in his zillionth mobster role, while Forrest showcases a likable navet in one of his first leading roles (he later became a major star on television [S.W.A.T.]). Also with Anne Francis, Robert Ellenstein, Robert F. Simon, Alan Hale Jr. (who's bested in a brutal fistfight by Taylor), Peter Brocco, Vince Edwards, Olive Carey, Roy Barcroft, Paul Brinegar, Richard Deacon and Russell Johnson. Music by Jeff Alexander. From the director of THE GIRL HUNTERS.

ROLE MODELS (2008)—Directed by David Wain. Stars Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Bobb’e J. Thompson, Elizabeth Banks, Jane Lynch. Although its cast and combination of crude humor and sensitive character-building resemble a Judd Apatow movie, ROLE MODELS is actually the third film by David Wain, a former member of the comedy troupe The State, whose best film remains the underrated WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER. ROLE MODELS is the most mainstream State-related project and is fairly successful in the laugh department.

The high concept finds energy-drink pitchmen Wheeler (Scott, doing Stifler again) and Danny (Rudd), ordered by the court to perform 160 hours of community service, becoming Big Brothers to foul-mouthed 10-year-old Ronnie (Thompson) and teenage nerd Augie (SUPERBAD standout Mintz-Plasse), who finds release from his stifling home life by participating in fantasy medieval battles. Banks is winning in a colorless role as Rudd’s estranged girlfriend, while Lynch steals the picture playing Wheeler and Danny’s hilariously earnest supervisor.

I was impressed by the manner in which Wain and his co-writers Rudd and fellow STATEsman Ken Marino, working from Timothy Dowling’s earlier screenplay, managed to blend bellylaughs with more esoteric comic situations, such as the absurdity of grown men and women engaging in costumed swordfights without cracking a smile. Ultimately, ROLE MODELS works toward a typical Hollywood ending where everyone finds love and friendship, but the trip takes some pleasantly rewarding side roads. Also with A.D. Miles, Ken Jeong, Amanda Righetti and Joe LoTruglio.

ROLLER BLADE (1986)--Directed by Donald G. Jackson. Stars Suzanne Solari, Shaun Michelle. Damn, this is some deep hurting. If you think you’ve seen movies so awful that they’ve actually eaten away sections of your soul, let me be so bold as to suggest that you have not. This is as bad as movies come. It’s such agony to experience that not even the sight of a full-frontal-naked Michelle Bauer, caressing two other nude babes in a hot tub, is worth the pain. I couldn’t even follow the story because my attention was wandering towards the colorful push pins holding my posters to the wall and the blinking lights on my cable box. ROLLER BLADE made me very hard up for entertainment. I do know that some naked nuns on roller skates were trying to fight back against some oppressive dictator ruling Venice beach with the aid of a cheap rubber hand puppet. That’s about it. This movie sucks.

ROLLERBALL (1975)--Directed by Norman Jewison. Stars James Caan, Maud Adams, John Houseman. Pompous and dull science-fiction that comes alive only during the brutal action scenes; while director Jewison was obviously trying to make a serious picture about the absurdity of violence, it's also obvious that the Rollerball scenes are virtually the only successful ones in the film, and that audiences are too busy cheering the mindless action (just like the fans in the movie) to think too much about Jewison's heavy-handed message.

It's 2018, and Caan is Jonathan E., a superstar of a sport called Rollerball, which is a combination of rugby, roller derby, hockey and motorcycle racing. Rollerball is a sport run by the Energy Corporation, one of many such conglomerates running the planet in a time when countries and individual governments are obsolete. The corporations provide the population with everything that they need--food, a crime-free environment, mood-altering drugs--as long as they don't rock the boat and don't ask too many questions. Books have been either eradicated or sanitized for consumption, and the Corporation is bigger than the Individual. When Jonathan, the world's greatest Rollerball player, becomes too popular with the fans, the Energy Corporation, led by sinister Houseman, tries to convince Jonathan to retire. Failing that, the company raises the stakes, abolishing the rules of the already dangerous sport in an effort to destroy Jonathan and his immense fan base.

Make no mistake, Jewison's rollerball scenes are incredibly exciting and violent--some of Hollywood's greatest stuntmen, such as Craig Baxley, Dar Robinson, Max Kleven and Bob Minor worked on them--but the rest is pompous, confusing nonsense. One extended sequence involving rich drunken men and women dressed in tuxedos and evening gowns blowing up fur trees with a pistol has never made a lick of sense to me, and Caan--usually a tornado of activity on screen--is forced to tone down his performance in the scenes where he isn't on the Rollerball rink.

Also with Ralph Richardson, John Beck, Moses Gunn, Pamela Hensley, Barbara Trentham, Burt Kwouk, Robert Ito and lots of classical music. Script by sci-fi vet William Harrison is adapted from his short story, which was titled "The Rollerball Murders". Filmed at Pinewood Studios in London and on location in Munich.

ROLLERBALL (2002)--Directed by John McTiernan. Stars Chris Klein, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Jean Reno. There's a Hollywood axiom that states remaking a great film is a bad idea, since the new version will undoubtedly be compared unfavorably with the original. But a remake of a mediocre or obscure film could work, if it has an interesting premise on which a good director can put a new spin. Using this theory, ROLLERBALL would appear to be the perfect candidate for remake status. The original 1975 release, which was directed by Norman Jewison (IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT) and starred James Caan (MISERY), is a dull, ponderous affair about the absurdity of violence and its cathartic effect on the masses that comes alive only during its hyper-kinetic action scenes. The Rollerball sequences are among the most brutal ever placed on film. Jewison may have been sincere, but his film isn't, reveling in the type of head-crunching violence that it claims to deplore. Since 1975, we've been subjected to FEAR FACTOR, Extreme Sports, and the WWF, all of which would seem to make a ROLLERBALL remake timelier than ever.

MGM's new remake, directed by John McTiernan (DIE HARD), gets off to a rotten start with the opening credits. If a film's three stars are a rapper, a supermodel and Chris Klein, you can bet there isn't going to be a massive influx of characterization or nuance. After an opening downhill street luge race in San Francisco that serves only to illustrate how stupid and irresponsible he is, Jonathan (Klein) is abducted by his pal and Obligatory Black Sidekick (you think he'll be around for the end credits?) Ridley (LL Cool J), who coaches a Rollerball team and invites Jonathan to join the squad. One of the film's major flaws is that it tells us next to nothing about the sport. How many teams are there? What are the rules? What does the track look like? What kind of strategy is used? None of these questions are satisfactorily addressed, turning the matches into confusing globs of quick cuts and bad rock music. Unlike the original film, Rollerball is a coed sport, which introduces us to Jonathan's teammate Aurora (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), who enjoys topless weight-lifting and is having an affair with Jonathan ("You think we could do this in a bed sometime? You know--with sheets and stuff?" says Klein in one of many clunky lines in the screenplay by Larry Ferguson [ALIEN 3] and John Pogue [THE SKULLS]). Their Eurotrash boss is Alexi (French actor Jean Reno), who speaks publicly about "maintaining the integrity" of the sport while simultaneously orchestrating on-field "accidents" in order to drive up the ratings (which are somehow calculated instantaneously).

To say more about what happens in ROLLERBALL would be difficult, because I don't really know. The screenplay is more like a list of non-sequiturs than a narrative, and it is given no weight by its actors, who are unable to grab hold of anything meaty. Granted, no stars in the world could have made this movie work, given its script and direction, but to get a good idea of how wrongheaded this remake is, compare the two versions' stars. Although the original movie is not one of his better performances, James Caan was perfectly cast as a fiery, physical, rebellious soul who was dissatisfied living in conformity. Chris Klein is as far removed from "Jimmy the Dream" as one can get--quiet, sheepish and lunk-headed in a way that makes Keanu Reeves look like Stephen Hawking. Adding McTiernan's clueless direction to the equation is another hindrance. His jawdropping decision to film one seven-minute action setpiece using grainy, green night-vision lenses serves only to make the scene incomprehensible and murky. What kind of stylistic decision was that?

ROLLERBALL was the victim of a troubled production history. After test audiences blasted the original R-rated cut and the film was shelved by MGM, McTiernan sliced out the scenes involving a nude Romijn-Stamos and toned down the violence (hard to believe, considering how much remains), finally tossing the result out to theaters with a PG-13. Considering MGM picked the opening weekend of the Winter Olympics to do so, it's clear the studio had little faith in the movie, and neither should you. ROLLERBALL is stupid, loud, pandering, lazy and without the finest shred of redemption. To make a worse film than the original ROLLERBALL is difficult, but McTiernan has done so by not even trying.

ROLLERCOASTER (1977)--Directed by James Goldstone. Stars George Segal, Richard Widmark, Timothy Bottoms. Judging from the premise, the all-star cast and Universal’s decision to release it in Sensurround, I imagine audiences were expecting a disaster movie along the lines of EARTHQUAKE. Instead, action is disappointingly short in this decently crafted thriller about a baby-faced bomber (Bottoms) who blows up a couple of coasters and threatens more damage unless he receives a $1 million ransom. Portraying cinema’s first safety inspector/action hero, Segal is amiable in his harried verbal sparring with Bottoms, while fencing with stubborn FBI agent Widmark (who slummed even further the next year in THE SWARM). Segal’s characterization is pretty much limited to his attempts at quitting smoking, which may have been parodied by Lloyd Bridges in AIRPLANE! COLUMBO creators Richard Levinson and William Link penned the screenplay, so it’s disappointing that the story isn’t more clever or complex. Goldstone handles the opening scene of a derailed roller coaster quite well, but the movie needed another destruction scene or two. ROLLERCOASTER would actually be ripe for a remake. Susan Strasberg has a thankless role as Segal’s girlfriend, while Helen Hunt makes her film debut as his daughter. Also with Harry Guardino, Michael Bell, Craig Wasson, Bruce Kimball, Dick Wesson, Robert Quarry, Steve Guttenberg, Tara Buckman and Henry Fonda (also in THE SWARM). Music by Lalo Schifrin. Filmed at Magic Mountain, King’s Dominion in Virginia, Navy Pier in Chicago and Ocean View Park in Virginia.

ROLLING THUNDER (1977)--Directed by John Flynn. Stars William Devane, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Haynes. Originally released by AIP in 1977, this movie that was co-written by Paul Schrader (TAXI DRIVER) influenced Quentin Tarantino to the point that he named his short-lived releasing company Rolling Thunder Films. It stars William Devane as a former 'Nam POW who returns to San Antonio after seven years in a prison camp and finds he's not easily able to readjust to life at home, particularly because his son doesn't know him at all, and his wife has fallen in love with another man. There are some nice performances and dialogue in these early scenes, and I appreciate that Schrader and co-writer Heywood Gould didn't make the wife's new lover, a local deputy, a villain. He's a decent man who honestly loves Devane's wife and has the courtesy to feel embarrassed about it.

ROMANCING THE STONE (1984)--Directed by Robert Zemeckis. Stars Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, Zack Norman. This film made Douglas a star. Turner plays a romance novelist who travels to South America to rescue her sister. She also has a treasure map pinpointing the location of a priceless jewel--a map various bad guys would to anything to get their hands on. For protection, Turner hires American mercenary Douglas to escort her to her destination. Direction by Zemeckis is fast and witty, and Douglas and Turner have good chemistry between them. Filmed in Mexico. JEWEL OF THE NILE was the sequel, also with DeVito.

ROME ARMED TO THE TEETH (1976)—Directed by Umberto Lenzi. Stars Maurizio Merli, Arthur Kennedy, Tomas Milian, Ivan Rassimov, Maria Rosario Omaggio. Imagine if Dirty Harry was really pissed off. No, I mean really pissed off. That’s Inspector Leonardo Tanzi (Merli), the angriest, roughest, toughest, most badass policeman in Rome. Whether they’re rapists or purse-snatchers, Tanzi pursues them with the same religious fervor and the same disregard for the suspects’ civil rights. Which gets results, of course, but no Christmas cards from his straight-arrow boss Ruini (Kennedy). Right after lecturing his boss on the senselessness of following the law to catch criminals, Tanzi tells his girlfriend (Omaggio), “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s cynicism.” The major objects of his ire are pervert Tony Parenzo (Rassimov) and especially Vincenzo Maretto (Milian), a psychotic hunchbacked drug dealer, who even murders an ailing woman and her husband in the rear of an ambulance. It’s difficult to keep track of the story, which tosses one case after another at the audience, some major and some not (Tanzi bitchslaps one dude just for stealing a woman’s coat from her car). All Tanzi has to do is walk out the front door of his girl’s apartment building to find a bad guy in need of a good solid thrashing. Merli, a handsome blonde with a natty mustache, also played Tanzi in director Lenzi’s THE CYNIC, THE RAT, AND THE FIST and portrayed the very similar Inspector Betti in three other poliziotteschi.

RONIN (1998)--Directed by John Frankenheimer. Stars Robert DeNiro, Jean Reno, Jonathan Pryce, Sean Bean. Frankenheimer has directed just about as many exciting international thrillers than anyone else alive, and this '70s-style heist flick, while not up there with BLACK SUNDAY or THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, is his best in quite some time. DeNiro is an American ex-CIA agent-turned-thief who is recruited by a beautiful Irish blonde to steal a mysterious metal suitcase (what's in it? We never find out, and it doesn't really matter. Think McGuffin...). The rest of his team includes a tough Frenchman (Reno) and an immature Englishman (Bean). Of course there are twists and double-crosses, and no one (not even DeNiro) is who he or she seems. The plot becomes quite incomprehensible after a while, but it doesn't really matter, because Frankenheimer really keeps things moving along too fast to notice. Among the many shootouts and fights on crowded Parisian streets are not one but TWO excellent car chases. These rate right up there with the BULLITT and FRENCH CONNECTION chases as some of the best ever put on film. Even more amazing in these days of mindless special effects and computer graphics is that Frankenheimer has chosen not to use a single visual effect in the picture. Actual stunts with actual explosions. Very exciting stuff. David Mamet wrote most of the dialogue using a pen name.

ROOFTOPS (1989)--Directed by Robert Wise. Stars Jason Gedrick, Troy Beyer, Eddie Velez, Tisha Campbell. Wise's first film in ten years was this awful musical set in Manhattan. Gedrick is a white orphan who falls for Hispanic Beyer, and convinces her to leave her drug-dealing cousin (Velez). Her defection makes violent sparks fly between Velez and Gedrick. A highly derivative foray into WEST SIDE STORY territory--a much better musical also directed by Wise. You'd be better off watching that classic instead of this.

THE ROOKIE (1990)--Directed by Clint Eastwood. Stars Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sonia Braga. One of Clint's worst finds him teamed up with a pampered rookie cop (Sheen) busting a hot-car ring led by Germans Julia and Braga (who are obviously Hispanic, but oh, well...). Some of the stunts and chases are cool, but most of this crime drama (especially Braga's forced seduction of Clint) is pretty embarrassing. Also with Lara Flynn Boyle and Tom Skerritt, and look for former Universal contract player Mara Corday.

ROOM 13 (1964)--Directed by Harald Reinl. Stars Joachim Fuchsberger, Karin Dor, Eddi Arent, Richard Haussler, Walter Rilla. Plenty of secret doors and compartments, Edgar Wallace trademarks, play a factor in this West German adaptation of a Wallace novel. Suave private detective Johnny Gray (Fuchsberger) is hired by a member of British Parliament, Sir Marney (Rilla), to investigate a blackmail attempt by Joe Legge (Haussler). Legge plans a massive train robbery and demands the use of Marney's estate to hide the goods or else something bad may happen to the beautiful features of Marney's daughter Denise (Dor). Legge's base of operations is hidden behind a secret door in Room 13 of the Highlow Club.

Pretty standard Wallace fare with charming work by Tom Brokaw-lookalike Fuchsberger and lots of twists and turns. Heck, I didn't even mention the razor-slashing murders taking place while everything else is going on. Reinl directed several of these krimis, many of which featured the same performers in different roles. Fuchsberger almost always played the hero, but Arent, for instance, popped up in HUNCHBACK OF SOHO as a murderous priest and THE SECRET OF THE RED ORCHID as a bumbling butler. Peter Thomas provides the jazzy score, as usual a highpoint for this genre. Also known as ZIMMER 13.

ROOTS OF EVIL (1992)--Directed by Gary Graver. Stars Alex Cord, Jillian Kesner, Charles Dierkop, Deanna Lund. I wasn’t expecting much from this erotic thriller directed by occasional pornographer Graver, but I picked it up at a flea market for $1. It’s a hilariously trashy sickie filled with sex, violence and recognizable B-stars. Detective partners and lovers Jake (Cord) and Brenda (Kesner, the director’s wife) are assigned to two separate cases: a serial killer (Dierkop) of streetwalkers and the Uzi murder of a mobster.

Adam Berg’s screenplay is terrible, jettisoning anything resembling continuity, logic or actual police investigation techniques. Cord’s character is introduced sitting in a bar getting drunk and rambling about his long-gone dead wife and child, making you believe that he’s the latest down-and-out alcoholic movie cop in a long line of them, but after this intro, Cord’s family is never brought up again, and we learn that he’s actually a reasonably well-adjusted man in a loving relationship with his partner. A later key reference is made to Cord possibly fathering a child with a film actress, but that story thread is ignored too. It comes as no surprise to learn that the unbalanced Dierkop has a domineering mother who ignores him, and a twist involving his character’s profession is potentially interesting, but--again--nothing is really done with it.

Fortunately, Graver doesn’t shy away from any opportunity to showcase the breasts of his female actors. Almost every actress in the film goes topless, including Kesner (in her 40s) and a remarkably well-preserved 54-year-old Lund, whose randy bedroom antics will surprise fans of her ‘60s series LAND OF THE GIANTS. As for action, well, a bullet-ridden corpse falls into a swimming pool, cars explode for no reason, a lengthy car chase is just two cars screeching back and forth down the same alley, a man apparently wearing gasoline clothing catches on fire and stumbles about in slow motion--basically all the clichés are represented. The VHS box claims ROOTS OF EVIL is “unrated,” although there’s nothing here that couldn’t get an R rating. It’s perfect late-night viewing with well-placed sex scenes and shootouts to prevent you from falling asleep. Scream queens Brinke Stevens, Delia Sheppard and Jewel Shepard round out the cast.

THE ROSARY MURDERS (1987)--Directed by Fred Walton. Stars Donald Sutherland, Belinda Bauer, Charles Durning. Sutherland plays Father Robert Koesler, the editor of a Catholic newspaper in Detroit, who investigates a serial killer of priests and nuns who leaves rosaries on his victims. The killer confesses his deeds, but not his identity, to Koesler, whose vows prohibit him from sharing the information with the police. Following the few clues he was given, Koesler discovers who the killer is, but now must figure out how he is choosing his victims in time to prevent the next murder. The screenplay by Walton (WHEN A STRANGER CALLS) and Elmore Leonard, based on William Kienzle’s novel, moves slowly but surely from one murder to the next, providing Koesler with an additional puzzle piece each time. The performances and Koesler’s moral quandary provide satisfaction if you’re a mystery fan, although the fittingly bleak Detroit locations and luxurious pacing could turn some audiences off. Also with James Murtaugh, Josef Sommer and Anita Barone.

THE ROSEBUD BEACH HOTEL (1984)—Directed by Harry Hurwitz. Stars Colleen Camp, Peter Scolari, Christopher Lee. The same year Tom Hanks became one of America’s biggest movie stars with the release of BACHELOR PARTY and SPLASH, his BOSOM BUDDIES costar Scolari made THE ROSEBUD BEACH HOTEL. And you can guess where the story goes from there. Meek Elliott Gardner (Scolari) and his stuffy fiancé Tracy (Camp) move to Miami to manage a hotel owned by Tracy’s wealthy father (Lee). Among the various (alleged) comic blackouts and setpieces, which often involve somebody either falling down or taking off her clothes, Lee hires an arsonist (played by Hamilton Camp) to blow up his hotel so he can collect the insurance money. Tracy hires sexy hooker Fran Drescher and her girlfriends as prostitute/bellhops. Guest Eddie Deezen claims to be from outer space. Twin maids Cherie and Marie Currie form a band and perform several songs. Also with Chuck McCann, Hank Garrett, Monique Gabrielle, Jim Vallely and Jonathan Schmock (now successful TV writers) as wacky bellhops who try to have sex with all the hookers, and Daniel Greene (HANDS OF STEEL). Music by Jay Chattaway. Bomber Camp’s inept schemes result in his blowing up like Wile E. Coyote. The movie opens with picture credits like a television sitcom.

R.O.T.O.R. (1989)--Directed by Cullen Blaine. Stars Richard Gesswein, Margaret Trigg, Jayne Smith. Damn you all to Hell, R.O.T.O.R. Do not be fooled by the kickass VHS cover art of an awesome-looking robot holding a gun and straddling a burned-out motorcycle. R.O.T.O.R. is as inept a movie as they come, but without the riotous laughs of SAMURAI COP or THE STABILIZER.

I don't even know where to start describing the stupidity of R.O.T.O.R., which was directed by someone named Cullen Blaine in and around Dallas, Texas in the late 1980's. Basically it's about an idiot named Barrett Coldyron (pronounced Cold-Iron) who works for the Dallas Police Department designing the Cop Of The Future, a robot policeman. It's still a long ways away from being ready for the streets--at least five years--but Coldyron's corrupt boss calls one morning and says, nope, we need it in two months. Coldyron says it can't be done and quits, leaving the project in the hands of his nerdy assistant and a comic-relief robot (think Johnny 5 with a policeman's hat).

Meanwhile, a gay-looking Indian (hey, he admits it) janitor strikes out while hitting on a Valley girl scientist, and accidentally sticks his switchblade comb into an electrical current. Somehow, this revives R.O.T.O.R., which stands for:
ROBOTIC
OFFICER
TACTICAL
OPERATION
RESEARCH

It also makes R.O.T.O.R., which looks like a redneck cop with a Chuck Norris mustache, erratic. He escapes, steals a motorcycle, and pulls over a speeding car driving by a dumbass and his cute fiance while they're having a fight about something stupid. R.O.T.O.R. believes his assignment is to exterminate criminals, so he shoots the guy in the head. The woman, Sonya, escapes and drives all night looking for help. She eventually crosses paths with Coldyron in at a truck stop around 5 A.M. His plan: for Sonya to drive around with a crazy, indestructible killer robot on her tail for eleven hours, while he summons a karate-kicking, butch-looking female scientist with a skunky mullet from Houston. She flies in, Coldyron picks her up, takes her on a leisurely drive to her hotel, where she checks in and changes clothes. Remember that Sonya is still driving around the city being chased by R.O.T.O.R.

Finally, all three humans trap the robot near a fishing lake. Even though Coldyron left his truck a mile away to walk through the woods to the lake, it somehow magically appears just when he needs some equipment from it, namely primer cord, which we saw him blasting stumps with during the interminable opening reel. While the female scientist, Dr. Steel, tries beating the crap out of the robot (unsuccessfully), Coldyron tries to make it walk into a simplistic noose trap so he can blow it up real good.

I hope I haven't made R.O.T.O.R. sound fun or interesting, because it ain't. Coldyron, a grouchy sort in blue jeans and a bushy mustache, is a pretentious sort who never speaks one word when 100 flowery ones will do. The performances are terrible across the board, and many of the major stars are dubbed by actors from Adam Rourke's acting school. Obviously, plot and continuity are for shit. Except for a weird stop-motion robot skeleton briefly seen during a dull exposition boardroom scene, there are few special effects. Action is practically non-existant, although a dopey barroom brawl between R.O.T.O.R. and three ignorant rednecks is amusing in its incompetence.

NOTE: R.O.T.O.R.’s editor Doug Bryan had the following to say about the film, which was his first feature editing job:

It lives!!!! That was the first feature I ever cut. It was a disaster from the word go. Every frame they shot is in the movie, because their budget was so lean, they would often shoot just one take. The lead actor [Richard Gesswein] was one of the investors and spoke with a really annoying nasal tone. Toward the end of post-production, they decided to loop his lines using a "professional" actor. I had to edit in all of that shitty re-recorded dialogue that rarely synched up properly, giving all of his scenes a Japanese feel. Boy, that guy was pissed off.

The director, Cullen Blaine, was a character designer for Hanna-Barbara and did some of the design work on JONNY QUEST. The movie sucked complete and total ass, but was a great/weird experience. A few weeks into editing, the writer, Budd Lewis, showed up. Turns out he was one of the main writers for the Warren comic mags CREEPY and EERIE that I loved so as a kid. I got the real dirt on many of my favorite artists. I have to say that Budd and Cullen were really cool people, and we had a lot of laughs. They just shouldn't have been making movies. I don't think they ever did again.

My band at the time, Larry's Dad, contributed 2 songs to the soundtrack, and to this day I receive royalty checks for up to $1.21 from places like Burma and Thailand.

I should mention that when ROTOR re-charges, they didn't have any money for FX. He was basically just holding a set of jumper cables. I cashed in a favor down in the film lab and pulled an interpositive of that scene. I cut back and forth between the print image and a negative image to have SOMETHING going on. Jeez...

How anyone could sit through that God-awful mess is beyond my scope of understanding. Hats off, mate!

I don't mind if you put my comments out there as long as you mention what great guys Cullen and Budd were. Budd and I got drunk together one night and talked comics endlessly...

ROUGH CUT (1980)--Directed by Don Siegel. Stars Burt Reynolds, David Niven, Lesley-Anne Down. Burt is an American jewel thief in London, who falls for gorgeous debutante Down and recruits her as his partner in crime. He doesn't know that she is actually working undercover for Scotland Yard inspector Niven. Plenty of double-crosses and plot twists ensue. Reynolds is charming in a Cary Grant-like role, and Siegel's clever direction and beautiful European locations keep the audience involved.

ROUGH NIGHT IN JERICHO (1967)--Directed by Arnold Laven. Stars Dean Martin, George Peppard, Jean Simmons, John McIntire. Dino is interestingly cast against type as Alex Flood, a ruthless former lawman who owns 51% of Jericho, 100% of its law, and anybody who doesn't like it is liable to find himself hanging from a rope in the town square. The only thing in Jericho Flood doesn't control is the local stagecoach line owned by Molly Lang (Simmons), an old flame. Flood wants her almost as badly as he wants her business, which becomes even tougher to grab when she partners up with a grizzled old lawman (McIntire) and his loyal younger ex-deputy (Peppard). Sunk by Laven's pedestrian direction--it appears as though half the film takes place in Molly's kitchen, which doesn't prevent Laven from filming each scene from the same direction--JERICHO provides enough gunplay and tense interaction between its leads to make it worthwhile. Some of the violence, such as Martin's beating of Simmons, is uncommonly brutal for the period. Also with Don Galloway (IRONSIDE), Richard O'Brien, Steve Sandor and Slim Pickens as Martin's bullwhip-wielding henchman. Don Costa's score seems out of place.

RUCKUS (1982)--Directed by Max Kleven. Stars Dirk Benedict, Linda Blair, Ben Johnson, Richard Farnsworth. Benedict, just off of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, is miscast as a badass Special Forces 'Nam vet in this light outdoor adventure extremely reminiscent of FIRST BLOOD, which came out three years later. After years of incarceration in two different POW camps, Kyle Hanson (Benedict) is left shaken and not completely fit to rejoin regular society. Penniless, dirty and drifting through Madoc County, Alabama, Kyle is harassed by a group of rednecks, which escalates into a county-wide manhunt engineered by a jealous deputy with his eye on pretty Jenny (Blair), the widowed daughter-in-law of benevolent county boss Bellows (Johnson), whose son was MIA in Vietnam. The major difference between this film and FIRST BLOOD is its humorous approach, in which the heavies are portrayed as ignorant yokels and nobody is killed or seriously injured, despite the many chases, stunts and explosions. RUCKUS is enough fun while it lasts, but should be considered a minor entry in the short-lived "hicksploitation" genre of the 1970's and early '80s. Kleven's screenplay is very thin on story and characterization, and I was never quite sure what Madoc's motivation was for hunting Kyle down, but it was refreshing to see both the sheriff (Farnsworth) and the "boss" portrayed as good guys for a change. Blair seems nice, but has little to do, while Benedict lacks the right presence needed to believably battle so many opponents. Also with Matt Clark, Taylor Lacher, Jon Van Ness and Cliff Pellow. Willie Nelson and Hank Cochran wrote the songs, and Janie Fricke sang 'em. Benedict later played another 'Nam vet on THE A-TEAM. From the director of W.B., BLUE & THE BEAN, also with Blair. The trailer and original one-sheet display the title as RUCKUS IN MADOC COUNTY, but RUCKUS is the on-screen title.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT (2000)--Directed by William Friedkin. Stars Tommy Lee Jones, Samuel L. Jackson, Guy Pearce, Bruce Greenwood. RULES OF ENGAGEMENT is a solid courtroom thriller that sometimes seems like it wants to be something more. It asks some interesting questions: when is killing in combat murder? Should the word of a decorated Vietnam veteran with 30 years of service to his country count for something? Is it okay to kill one enemy in cold blood to save the lives of American servicemen? Whereas TV's THE PRACTICE would tackle such ethical issues with glee, RULES is content to do an end run around them, choosing not to answer the queries it raises, and settling for being a slick and well-performed melodrama.

In 1968 Vietnam, Marine Terry Childers (Samuel L. Jackson) saves the life of pal Hayes Hodges (Tommy Lee Jones) by executing a Vietnamese POW. 28 years later, both are still in the Corps--Childers, a highly decorated colonel; Hodges, a barely-distinctive lawyer on the eve of retirement. On a mission in Yemen to rescue the U.S. Ambassador (Ben Kingsley) and his family from civilian protestors outside the American Embassy, all hell breaks loose, and Childers gives his soldiers the command to open fire on the demonstrators. 83 Yemeni are killed, and the U.S. Government, hoping to pass the responsibility for the deaths to someone else, holds Childers responsible, and charges him with 83 counts of murder. Not trusting his legal case to "some Starbuck's drinker who's never seen combat", Childers calls on his old buddy Hodges to defend him. Hodges, a lonely alcoholic suffering from a severe lack of self-confidence, tries to convince Childers to look elsewhere for assistance, but Terry is adamant.

Hodges's case is reliant on a videotape made by a security camera at the scene which clearly shows that the civilians fired first, and that Childers was justified in ordering the use of deadly force. Ironically, only one person ever sees that tape: the National Security Advisor (Bruce Greenwood), who destroys it in the belief that blaming the incident entirely on Childers is in the country's best interest. Greenwood, an actor I like, gives a very good performance in spite of the fact that his character's motivations are quite murky. The existence of such a videotape would actually benefit the U.S.'s position, and a cover-up to suppress it must exist only because the plot requires one.

Jones and Jackson also turn in strong work. Their characters have very little backstory, and only subsist within the confines of Stephen Gaghan's (TRAFFIC) screenplay. Despite their strong friendship, they engage in a punchout simply because that's what macho movie guys do; of course afterwards, they lie on the floor, bloodied and laughing. Guy Pearce (from L.A. CONFIDENTIAL) is a bit strident as a bulldoggish prosecutor, while Kingsley and Anne Archer as his wife are mostly wasted in roles that seem to promise more than the script allows them to deliver.

Director William Friedkin is a master at generating tension, as evidenced by his '70s classics THE FRENCH CONNECTION, THE EXORCIST and the underrated SORCERER. The battle scenes are among the best since SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, and Friedkin has clearly captured the chaos of a firefight in an unfamiliar country. Former Secretary of the Navy James Webb, who expressed displeasure with Friedkin's original cut, originated the story, and it's possible the film's failure to answer the challenging questions it asks may have been an effort to appease Webb. If so, it's too bad, since a bit more bite definitely would have made these RULES more engaging.

Mark Isham's score is standard snare-drum military fare, while location work in Morocco captures the desolation and despair of Yemen. The last theatrical release by one-time wunderkind Friedkin, who has had more comebacks than George Foreman, was 1995's JADE, a sleazy box-office flop starring a post-NYPD BLUE David Caruso. Also with Philip Baker Hall, Blair Underwood, Dale Dye, Nicky Katt, Richard McGonagle, David Graf and Emmy-winner Gordon Clapp from NYPD BLUE.

RUMBLE IN THE BRONX (1996)--Directed by Stanley Tong. Stars Jackie Chan, Anita Mui, Francoise Yip. Jackie Chan is the biggest box-office star in every country on Earth...except in the United States. In Hong Kong, Chan's films make up nine of the ten biggest grossers ever (JURASSIC PARK is number one). This attempt at American stardom contains all the elements that have made Jackie the king of the chopsockys: wild stunts, fast-moving action and, most importantly, a great sense of humor. Chan, who does all his amazing, death-defying stunts himself (can you imagine Bruce, Jean-Claude or Sly doing that?), has been greatly influenced by the great silent comics, and touches of Keaton or Lloyd can be seen in most of his films.

The plot is not much: Jackie, in New York (actually unrealistic Vancouver sets) for his uncle's wedding, becomes involved with a vicious motorcycle gang against diamond smugglers looking for their stash hidden in the cushion of a handicapped youngster's wheelchair. He also becomes cozy with a pair of gorgeous Chinese women: the manager of Chan's uncle's supermarket (Mui), and the gang leader's girlfriend and sister of the crippled boy, played by the headturningly stunning Yip.

Of course what's really important here are the chases (one involving a large hovercraft), martial arts battles and jaw-dropping stunts (Chan broke his ankle leaping onto the hovercraft from a suspension bridge; he painted the cast to resemble a shoe, and completed the film with only one day lost). This is why audiences go to Jackie Chan films, and they won't be disappointed by the action on display here. Sure, the characters are one-dimensional, the story is flimsy, and the dubbing atrocious, but RUMBLE IN THE BRONX is a lot of fun. Welcome to America, Jackie. Michael J. Duthie is billed as "editorial consultant"; I assume his role was to cut the film to appeal to a mainstream American audience.

RUN, ANGEL, RUN (1969)--Directed by Jack Starrett. Stars William Smith, Valerie Starrett. A Devil's Advocate biker gang member (Smith) sells an expose of his gang's raping and pillaging to LIKE magazine. He retires to a sheep ranch in California to live a normal life with his girlfriend (Starrett). It's pretty quiet until four Advocates show up for revenge. The director and female lead were married; Valerie also co-wrote the script. From the director of RACE WITH THE DEVIL.

RUN FOR COVER (1995)—Directed by Richard W. Haines. Stars Tom Dunne, Adam West, Viveca Lindfors. While producer/writer/director Haines’ reach exceeds his grasp, this independently produced thriller by the former Troma filmmaker (CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH) is worthwhile and surprisingly accomplished, considering the budget. The amateurish acting gets the job done, as it matches the B-picture veneer, but the lighting and camerawork are light-years ahead of most action movies on this level, much like the similarly cheap STREET TRASH. His strong use of color indicates the director was very interested in the look of his film. Haines simulates expensive explosions using miniatures and props tossed at the camera. Did I mention RUN FOR COVER was shot in StereoVision 3D? Unfortunately, I only saw the 2D version, which possibly makes the various objects pushed bluntly into the lens more entertaining. Dunne stars as the brash Jay Fleming, a brash TV reporter who is falsely accused of the murder of a government witness and goes on the run from both the cops and Russian terrorists out to blow up New York City. Haines somehow lures bizarre cameos by Ed Koch, Curtis Sliwa, and Al Sharpton to little dramatic avail, while West and Lindfors as senators slog through obligatory bit parts to earn their dubious name-value casting. Make no bones about it—RUN FOR COVER is crude with clumsy plotting and performances, but it does possess a vitality that sets the 79-minute thriller apart from other movies of its ilk.

RUN FOR THE SUN (1956)--Directed by Roy Boulting. Stars Richard Widmark, Jane Greer, Trevor Howard, Peter van Eyck. Believe it or not, THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME author Richard Connell actually receives story credit on this "SuperScope 235" production. Has any short story been ripped off as many times as GAME? This exciting adventure stars Widmark as Mike Latimer, a macho Hemingway-esque scribe with writer's block who's dropped out to Mexico after his wife ran away with his best friend, and Greer as Katie Connors, a magazine journalist who's tracked him down for a feature article, only to feel guilty after she falls in love with him. While flying to Mexico City, Mike's plane crashes in the jungle, where they are rescued by reclusive Brit Browne (Howard) and his archeologist friend Anders (van Eyck). After Mike discovers his benefactors' true identities, RUN turns into a chase through the jungle as he and Katie try to reach safety by using the sun as a compass. Although the final reel contains a major plothole or two, Boulting's suspenseful direction, Joseph LaShelle's masterful camerawork, and Fred Steiner's urgent score combine for a satisfying adventure, capped by fine performances from the four leads. One flaw is that it takes much too long to get Howard into the story, but I suppose it was Boulting and Dudley Nichols' (STAGECOACH) way of building Greer and Widmark's characters to make us care about their plight. RUN was produced independently by the Russ-Field Corporation (co-owned by actress Jane Russell) and released by United Artists.

THE RUNDOWN (2003)--Directed by Peter Berg. Stars The Rock, Seann William Scott, Christopher Walken, Rosario Dawson. The Rock inherits the muscle-bound action hero crown from Arnold Schwarzenegger (who cameos early on) in this fun but over-directed buddy film set in Brazil. Bounty hunter Beck (WWF's The Rock aka Dwayne Johnson) is sent by his mobster boss into the rain forest to retrieve the mobster's son Travis (Scott), who's scouting around the mining town of Hell Dorado in search of a priceless idol known as El Gato del Diablo. Also in pursuit of such wealth are Hatcher (Walken), the merciless millionaire owner of Hell Dorado and slaver of its citizens, and Mariana (Dawson), leader of a group of local natives who wants the idol to finance a rebellion against Hatcher's vicious reign. The Rock shows he's got the stuff action heroes are made of, handling some difficult stunt work, holding his own against a more experienced cast and flashing signs of a self-deprecating sense of humor, an important quality for a hero who's clearly bigger and stronger than the villains he's going up against. What THE RUNDOWN really is is a souped-up Brian Bosworth or Chuck Norris movie that would have played better if Berg had directed it in a manner more low-key. Jazzing the movie up with fancy CGI effects and wire fu gags just get in the way of the story and the action; $80 million went to make this simple buddy comedy that would have been more effective at half the price. I liked it fine, but a more straightforward approach would have better suited it. Filmed partially in Hawaii. Also with Ewen Bremmer, Ernie Reyes Jr. and William Lucking. Music by Harry Gregson-Williams.

THE RUNNING MAN (1987)--Directed by Paul Michael Glaser. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonzo, Richard Dawson. It's 2017, and convict Schwarzenegger is forced into being a contestant on a TV game show hosted by the oily Dawson. The show is a MOST DANGEROUS GAME derivative where Arnold is hunted on city streets by a gang of armed killers. Fast-moving science fiction boasts some funny one-liners and a smarmy performance by the ingeniously cast Dawson. Also with Yaphet Kotto, Jim Brown, Mick Fleetwood, Dweezil Zappa and Jesse "The Body" Ventura. Based on a short story by Stephen King. The director was TV's "Starsky".

RUNNING ON EMPTY (1988)--Directed by Sidney Lumet. Stars River Phoenix, Christine Lahti, Judd Hirsch, Martha Plimpton, Steven Hill. Deeply moving drama with a fascinating premise and a strong performance by teen actor Phoenix. After a '60s bombing that accidentally blinded a security guard, married radicals Lahti and Hirsch have spent their lives on the run. They have two sons, who are constantly being forced to abandon their friends and false identities on a split second's notice when the authorities get too close. Phoenix is about to graduate high school and is offered a scholarship to Julliard, but if he goes, he will be forced to leave his family forever. Lahti and Hirsch are affecting as Phoenix's guilt-ridden parents, and Lumet's direction is unforced. One of the best films of the year, it received Academy Award nominations for Phoenix and for Best Original Screenplay.

RUNNING RED (1999)--Directed by Jerry P. Jacobs. Stars Jeff Speakman, Angie Everhart, Stanley Kamel. Eleven years after his brother was killed and his commanding officer murdered a child in a raid on a Spanish chemical plant, Gregori (Speakman) has left the Russian army and is living a simple life as a family man in the Los Angeles suburbs, complete with SUV, flower garden, young daughter and gorgeous wife (Everhart). His past catches up with him, however, as he's reluctantly recruited by his old boss Alexei (Kamel) to commit a series of assassinations, one of the victims being a drug dealer who killed his brother. At first, Greg doesn't protest too strongly, since he's receiving a chance to exact revenge, but when he realizes Alexei's motives are crooked and that his family may be in danger from his own side, Greg's got some fancy footwork to do in order to protect his secret past.

Speakman (THE PERFECT WEAPON) is a solid hero and Kamel (TV's MURDER ONE) properly oily in this OK direct-to-video actioner from PM Entertainment. Former line producer and assistant director Jacobs has some bad habits as a director, staging too many dialogue scenes with a circling camera, for instance. His action scenes lack punch as well, although RUNNING RED doesn't stint on them, even featuring PM's trademark spinning car crashes. Also with Elya Baskin, Bart Braverman (VEGA$), Chick Vennera and Lisa Arturo. If the bus chase looks a little gritty to you, that's because it was swiped from the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie RED HEAT! The association between producers Ronald Jacobs and Jerry Jameson dates all the way back to the mid-'60s TV series I SPY. I assume the director is related to Ronald.

RUNNING SCARED (1986)--Directed by Peter Hyams. Stars Billy Crystal, Gregory Hines, Jimmy Smits, Darlanne Fluegel. Yes, it’s a ripoff of LETHAL WEAPON, but this raucous R-rated buddy cop movie is fun anyway. You know the formula—wisecracking daredevil detectives Danny (Crystal) and Ray (Hines) throw the book out the window and violate the civil rights of just about everyone in pursuit of Latino drug dealer Julio Gonzalez (Smits). At this point, Smits was a virtual unknown (L.A. LAW went on the air that fall), and Crystal had never headlined a film, but was coming off a successful stint on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. RUNNING SCARED is hardly a revolutionary film, but it’s amusing and fun. The two stars have terrific chemistry, and Hyams' chases and shootouts are well-directed, including the finale inside the glass-surrounded Illinois State Building. The movie is set during winter, but may have been shot in Chicago during the summer, because many scenes feature the worst fake snow I've ever seen. I swear they must have used shaving cream. Also with Dan Hedaya, Joe Pantoliano, Jon Gries, John DiSanti, Larry Hankin, Tracy Reed and Steven Bauer.

RUSH HOUR (1998)--Directed by Brett Ratner. Stars Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Christopher Penn. Chan's biggest American hit was a surprise box-office smash during the fall of '98. On the surface, it's just another broad and boisterous buddy cop comedy, but audiences reacted strongly to the interplay between Jackie and his stand-up comic costar Tucker. In his previous films (like THE FIFTH ELEMENT and MONEY TALKS, also directed by Ratner), Tucker came across as obnoxious, crude and unfunny with an extremely annoying high-pitched voice. If you hated Tucker before, you'll find it hard to sit through RUSH HOUR, since his character, a maverick Los Angeles police detective, is one of the most unlikable action leads in movie history. The LAPD and FBI want to keep Tucker out of their hair while they investigate the kidnapping of the young daughter of a Chinese diplomat, so they assign him to babysit cop Chan, who flies in from Hong Kong to assist in the investigation. Of course they decide to do some police work themselves, and end up solving everything even though their skills as detectives seem to be a bit less than those of the Keystone Kops. There's a great score, though, by Lalo Schifrin, which seems to be a cross between his ENTER THE DRAGON and DIRTY HARRY music.

RUSH HOUR 2 (2001)--Directed by Brett Ratner. Stars Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, John Lone, Zhang Ziyi, Roselyn Sanchez. I had a good time at RH2, despite the presence of Chris Tucker, who, like Will Smith, should be handing half his paychecks over to Eddie Murphy, whose great '80s performances are sampled more often these days than a James Brown riff. Tucker is so loud, obnoxious and unlikable that it's stunning a light-hearted action comedy with him in the lead could get greenlighted. Not only are his actions and line deliveries unfunny, but his character is a complete moron--almost everything he does and says is the complete opposite of what any normal human being would do or say.

LAPD detective Carter (Tucker), on vacation visiting pal Lee (Chan) in Hong Kong, ends up in the middle of a Triad gang war seemingly led by former corrupt cop Ricky Tan (Lone). The mishmash of a screenplay by Jeff Nathanson (SPEED 2) throws in a few bombings, counterfeit plates, a Las Vegas casino owner, a cute Chinese assassin (Zhang from CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON), a sexy Latina (Sanchez) who may or may not be on the good guys side, and, of course, lots of raucous martial arts battles.

I liked the film okay; it's no better or worse than the first RH. Ratner must have some talent if he can manage to stretch a movie with no plot, no characterization and no surprises into ninety minutes and make it work. I loved the cameos by Don Cheadle, Saul Rubinek and Jeremy Piven, and there are a _lot_ of hot women in this movie! Not just Zhang Ziyi and Roselyn Sanchez, but a bevy of eye-popping extras too. I'm not ready to jump on the Roselyn bandwagon yet and pronounce her the "Next Big Star", but she is a stunner in looks and screen personality--I'd say she has at least as much star quality as Penelope Cruz, and probably more. All the screaming and sound effects unfortunately drowned Lalo Schifrin's music out, but I'll always give Ratner credit for using this great scorer when every other Hollywood filmmaker seems to have cast him aside. Also with Alan King and Harris Yulin. As always in a Chan film, outtakes roll during the closing credits which illustrate just how much effort goes into Jackie's seemingly effortless moves.

RUSHMORE (1998)--Directed by Wes Anderson. Stars Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Olivia Williams. Critics fell all over themselves hailing this coming-of-age comedy that earned quite a few Best Supporting Actor awards (but no Oscar nomination) for Murray as a self-loathing tycoon. I thought the characters were unlikable, and didn't really care what happened to them. I also didn't think the screenplay by Anderson and Owen Wilson contained enough laughs, although I loved some of the quirkier smaller moments (such as a production of SERPICO performed as a school play!).

Schwartzman plays Max, a fast-talking 15-year-old attending Rushmore Academy. Although an intelligent scholarship student, Max's extracurricular activities are causing his grades to suffer, and he's in danger of being expelled. He also meets an automobile executive named Blume (Murray), who represents the type of unhappy millionaire Max could easily become, and a sweet teacher named Miss Cross (Williams), a recently widowed Brit on whom Max develops a crush and with whom Blume--much to Max's disappointment--begins a relationship. All is fair in love and war, so Max and Blume begin battling for Miss Cross's affections (this plot was spun much better in Barry Levinsons hilarious TIN MEN with Richard Dreyfuss and Danny DeVito as the rivals). Although I liked Murray, I found myself unable to warm up to the movie's main characters. Also with Seymour Cassel as Maxs barber father, Brian Cox, Mason Gamble, Sara Tanaka, Connie Nielsen and Luke Wilson. Music by Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh.

THE RUSSIAN SPECIALIST (2006)—Directed by Dolph Lundgren. Stars Dolph Lundgren, Ben Cross, Ivan Petrushinov. You may be surprised to learn that Swedish action slab Lundgren has developed into a promising filmmaker in his middle age. While not quite as accomplished as his directorial debut, THE DEFENDER, this Nu Image action movie (filmed as THE MECHANIK, a much better title) is a crisp suspenser once you get past the slow, confusing opening third.

Dolph is Nikolai Cherenko, a former Russian Special Forces soldier living a peaceful existence as an auto mechanic in a small village. His life takes a tumble, however, when his wife and child are caught in a crossfire between opposing drug dealers and killed. Nick hunts the bad guys down, including the leader, Sasha (Petrushinov), and leaves them for dead. Seven years later, he discovers Sasha survived and has kidnapped a young woman to sell into prostitution. At the urging of the girl’s mother, Nick recruits some gunmen, including a cynical Brit (Cross, quite a fall from CHARIOTS OF FIRE), and sets out to kick ass.

It's too bad Sony works so hard to bury stuff like this, because it's a better film that half the movies Sony routinely loses money on. I could do with a lot less slow-motion, skip-framing, CGI-saturated cinematography and other trendy gimmickry, but Lundgren is not a bad director when handed a $10 million budget, and he definitely likes blood squibs. The final half-hour plays out like a western, except the bad guys and the good guys are stalking one another around an amazing-looking Bulgarian village (subbing for Russia) where you're unlikely to see many Hollywood shootouts. Cross appeared in this and UNDISPUTED II for Nu Image in the same year.

THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING (1966)--Directed by Norman Jewison. Stars Carl Reiner, Alan Arkin, Eva Marie Saint, Brian Keith, John Philip Law. Funny satire about a quiet New England community that breaks into paranoia and widespread panic when a Soviet submarine runs aground there. One Russian (Arkin) takes family man Reiner hostage in an attempt to get back to sea, while sheriff Keith tries to get to the bottom of it all. Fine performances highlight Jewison's Cold War parody. Also with Jonathan Winters and Theodore Bikel. Arkin's film debut; he was rewarded with a Best Actor Oscar nomination.

RUSTLER'S RHAPSODY (1985)--Directed by Hugh Wilson. Stars Tom Berenger, Marilu Henner, Andy Griffith, G.W. Bailey. Lame parody of '30s B-westerns suffers from a poor script and the miscasting of Berenger as a chaste, milk-drinking singing cowboy. He comes to the rescue of defenseless sheepherders being run out of the territory by evil landgrabber Griffith. Bailey is the "Gabby Hayes comic relief"; Henner, the stereotypical hooker with a heart of gold. Also with Patrick Wayne, Fernando Rey and Sela Ward. From the director of GUARDING TESS.

RUTHLESS PEOPLE (1986)--Directed by Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker & David Zucker. Stars Bette Midler, Danny DeVito, Judge Reinhold, Helen Slater, Anita Morris, Bill Pullman. Hilariously raucous comedy about a pair of meek kidnappers (Reinhold, Slater) who hold clothing magnate DeVito's shrewish wife (Midler) for $500,000 ransom. DeVito refuses to pay the ransom--he was planning to kill her anyway--so Reinhold and Slater lower it! They're doing it for revenge anyway, and Midler finds out her husband doesn't want her back, she joins in her kidnappers' scheme. DeVito is delightfully evil, and the rest of the cast performs admirably. The real plus is the funny screenplay by Dale Launer. From the directors of AIRPLANE! Theme performed by Mick Jagger.