KEEPING THE FAITH (2000)--Directed by Edward Norton. Stars Ben Stiller, Edward Norton, Jenna Elfman. Edward Norton's BRIDGET LOVES BERNIE for the 21st century accomplishes something I've rarely seen in movies--it humanizes the clergy. In Norton's directorial debut, priests and rabbis tell jokes, play basketball, date women, go to movies--in other words, they act like normal people, as opposed to most films in which they are treated as reverentially as God Himself. Although the plot concerns a love triangle involving Father Brian (Norton), his best friend Rabbi Jake (Ben Stiller) and their childhood chum Anna (Jenna Elfman), the approach isn't scandalous, and although the thin story is allowed to meander well past its stretching point, I liked the way it presents religion as being a part of the characters lives without being about religion.

Brian and Jake are thrilled to hear about Anna's return to New York after moving away in the 8th grade. Jake, who likes to shake up the old-school rabbis by inviting a Harlem choir to perform during synagogue, is in danger of losing his job if he doesn't find a Jewish wife, and is petrified when he realizes that he and the very Gentile Anna are falling in love. So anxious, in fact, that he and Anna keep their relationship a secret from Brian, who's experiencing his own struggle with faith by falling in love with Anna himself.

The leads are sweet yet not especially interesting, and they're backed by a wonderful supporting cast, including Anne Bancroft as Jake's kvetching mother, Eli Wallach, Ron Rifkin, Holland Taylor (an Emmy winner for THE PRACTICE) and filmmaker Milos Forman (who directed Norton in THE PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLYNT). Although they aren't household names, Ken Leung and Brian George steal their scenes as an overly enthusiastic karaoke-machine salesman and an Indian bartender respectively. The actors, though, are let down by a puffy 127-minute running time--too long for a fluffy plot like this one. As a director, Norton isn't bad; he certainly has affection for his material, yet needs a stronger force in the editing room to give his vision a tighter focus. He was wise enough, however, to hire the legendary Elmer Bernstein to contribute a gentle, unobtrusive score. Also with Lisa Edelstein, Rena Sofer and Brian Anthony Wilson.

KELLY'S HEROES (1970)--Directed by Brian G. Hutton. Stars Clint Eastwood, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, Don Rickles, Carroll O'Connor, Gavin MacLeod. Kind of a tongue-in-cheek DIRTY DOZEN. Eastwood is a World War II soldier who hears of a fortune in Nazi gold hidden behind enemy lines. He assembles a platoon of misfits (including Savalas as "Big Joe" the leader, Sutherland as an anachronistic hippie named "Oddball" and Rickles as a wisecracking scrounger named "Crapgame") to sneak into German territory and steal the gold. Epic (over 2-and-a-half hours) war picture has an engaging cast, spectacular scenery, a terrific sense of humor and a breezy pace. Also with Harry Dean Stanton, Jeff Morris, George Savalas and Stuart Margolin. Filmed in Yugoslavia. Music by Lalo Schifrin. "Burning Bridges" performed by the Mike Curb Congregation.

THE KENNEL MURDER CASE (1933)--Directed by Michael Curtiz. Stars William Powell, Mary Astor. Powell made his sixth appearance as S.S. Van Dine's literary detective Philo Vance shortly before beginning his long series of THIN MAN mysteries alongside Myrna Loy. In what is probably the best of the Vance movies, Philo investigates the suicide of a wealthy man found inside a locked room. Of course the suicide was actually a murder, and much of the joy of KENNEL is in watching Powell unravel the clues to this clever mystery, which was based upon one of Van Dine's novels. Also with Eugene Pallette, Ralph Morgan, Robert McWade and Paul Cavanaugh. From the director of CASABLANCA.

KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE (1977)--Directed by John Landis. Stars Evan Kim, Bill Bixby, Donald Sutherland, Henry Gibson, George Lazenby. One of the decade's funniest films was also the first important credit for Landis, whose NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE would be released to boffo box-office the following year, and for screenwriters Jerry Zucker, David Zucker and Jim Abrahams, who would write and direct AIRPLANE!, TOP SECRET and the NAKED GUN trilogy.

Based upon ZAZ's underground theater group The Kentucky Fried Theater, KFM is a haphazard collection of sketches and spoofs of movies, television shows and commercials. Highlights include a trailer for a New World-style exploitation flick ("Samuel L. Bronkowitz presents...") called CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS IN TROUBLE, which features Russ Meyer regular Uschi Digard nude in a shower and Felix Silla (Twiki from BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY) as a midget in a clown suit whipping topless teen girls; a commercial for a board game based upon the Kennedy assassination; a young couple having sex who are being spied upon by the television newscaster and his crew; a blaxploitation parody called CLEOPATRA SCHWARTZ starring Marilyn Joi (BLAZING STEWARDESSES) as a topless kung-fu fighter teamed up with an Hasidic rabbi; THAT'S ARMAGEDDON, a disaster-movie parody starring ex-007 Lazenby (who was reportedly drunk during filming) and Sutherland as a clumsy waiter; a mock PSA for the United Appeal for the Dead featuring Gibson, which led critic Rex Reed to dub the KFM as tasteless (it sure is, and thank goodness for it); and a lengthy lampoon of ENTER THE DRAGON called A FISTFUL OF YEN, which brilliantly apes the Bruce Lee classic to the most minute detail ("It's a toy robot! Aiiiiieeeeee!").

Some of the skits are overlong (an intellectual panel discussion showcasing an out-of-control boom mike is funny at first, but goes on way too long), but overall, KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE is a hip, irreverent comedy well worth seeing, along the lines of similar scattershot sketch movies like THE GROOVE TUBE. Many of the gags involving nudity and black stereotypes could never been shown on camera today, and one brief joke involving a man and a little girl in bed together would no doubt earn an NC-17 in today's moral climate.

Anchor Bay's DVD features an amusing theatrical trailer (featuring Samuel L. Bronkowitz himself!), nearly 20 minutes of (pretty dull) behind-the-scenes 8mm footage shot by the Zuckers themselves to send home to their family in Wisconsin, an extensive stills gallery, and a frequently hilarious audio commentary track by Landis, the Zuckers, Abrahams and producer Robert K. Weiss, who obviously had a blast making the film and enjoy one another's company, even though they're frequently too hard on the movie itself. Morally, I have problems watching Landis movies after what happened to Vic Morrow and the two Vietnamese children on the TWILIGHT ZONE--THE MOVIE shoot (for which I blame Landis), but I begrudgingly make an exception for KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, a genuinely funny and fearless relic of the considerably more carefree 1970s.

Also with Jeff Maxwell, Tara Strohmeier (TRUCK TURNER), Rick Gates (who appeared as one of the Hardy Boys in a late-'60s pilot with Tim Matheson), Stephen Bishop, Rick Baker in a gorilla suit, Tony Dow, Stephen Stucker (AIRPLANE!), Dick Yarmy, Philip Rhee, Simon Rhee, Branscomb Richmond, Master Bong Soo Han and appearances by the writers and director. The musical score is culled from public-domain library tracks, except for the FISTFUL OF YEN segment, which was scored by Igo Kantor (SUPERVIXENS).

KICKBOXER (1989)--Directed by Mark DiSalle & David Worth.  Stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Chan, Tong Po, Dennis Alexio, Rochelle Ashana, Haskell Anderson.  Van Damme's follow-up to the successful BLOODSPORT is more or less a remake of that Cannon movie, transplanting the setting from Hong Kong to Thailand and this time avenging the intentional crippling of his brother, a champion kickboxer named Eric Sloane (Alexio).  Kurt (Van Damme) is bent on revenge when Eric, competing in a martial-arts tournament in Bangkok, is the victim of a cheap shot performed by the vicious Tong Po (Van Damme's real-life friend Michel Qissi, billed as "Himself").  Glenn Bruce's screenplay, based on a story by DiSalle and Van Damme (who also directed the fight scenes), strictly follows the rules already laid down in previous martial-arts films.  After suffering his personal loss, Kurt seeks training from a wizened old master (Chan), romances the master's pretty niece Mylee (Ashana), befriends a comic-relief sidekick (Anderson) and finally seeks redemption in the ring against Tong Po, who further incurs Kurt's wrath by kidnapping Eric and raping Mylee.  Chan and Anderson do nice jobs of stealing their scenes, while Van Damme, despite showcasing his skills as a terrible dancer, is likable and humble, traits which faded away as his star grew brighter during the 1990s.  Music by Paul Hertzog.

Anyone looking for a sleazy exploitation movie will be sadly disappointed, since KIDNAPPED CO-ED, despite its vivid title, is pretty hard to sit through.  So much of the movie consists of Eddie and Sandra driving.  Or sitting.  Or just staring.  Occasionally talking.  Even at 76 minutes, it's desperately padded and also hampered by Rivers' somnambulant performance (it doesn't help that her character is so insufferably stupid, it's hard to care whether she escapes her captor or not).  As for Canon, who was billed as "Jack" Canon when he appeared in Friedel's AXE, his twitchy Method mannerisms are annoying, rather than affecting, and one scene in which he stares down a redneck with a shotgun, consisting of a minute or so of Canon doing one double-take after another, is maddeningly frustrating to watch.  Friedel is not a director without talent, though.  He shows an instinct for knowing where to place the camera and composing a lovely shot, and in terms of cinematography and production values, KIDNAPPED CO-ED looks great on what was surely a small budget.  But, man, is it boring.

Look for future L.A. LAW star Larry Drake.  In an odd gaffe, the opening credits proclaim, "John Canon as...KIDNAPPED CO-ED".  One of the movie's several titles was THE KIDNAP LOVER, and probably Friedel was too cheap to fix Canon's title card when the title changed.  Also known as DATE WITH A KIDNAPPER, THE KIDNAPPER and the inexplicable HOUSE OF TERROR.  Harry Novak's Boxoffice International released it in 1978, but it may have been filmed a year or so earlier.

THE KIDNAPPING OF THE PRESIDENT (1980)--Directed by George Mendeluk.  Stars William Shatner, Hal Holbrook, Van Johnson, Ava Gardner.  An occasionally absorbing suspenser lensed in Toronto by director George Mendeluk, who remains busy toiling in American TV shows like NORTH SHORE. If only we could convince Hollywood to stop remaking excellent films like KING KONG and ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and take a crack at adequate ones with great ideas.

Hal Holbrook stars as Adam Scott, the President of the United States who is kidnapped during a public rally in Toronto and handcuffed inside an armored car containing a bomb. The South American terrorists responsible demand $100 million in diamonds for the President's release, and it's up to Secret Service agent Jerry O'Connor (William Shatner) to rescue his boss. Shatner shot this just before STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE came out, the film that, in a way, rejuvenated his career, putting him back on the big screen in a succession of TREK films and helping him land his long-running role as ABC's T.J. HOOKER.

The inclusion of quite a bit of gore and some mild profanity (I think this is the only time I've heard Shatner say "fuck") seems somewhat misplaced in this TV-style thriller, which was obviously made on a low budget. Wait 'til you get a gander at the cheap set that represents the Oval Office; a janitor's basement office has better furniture. Holbrook is excellent, providing his Chief Executive with a naturalistic gumption, and meshes well with Shatner's square-jawed approach. Golden Agers Van Johnson and Ava Gardner play the Vice-President and his wife, and you can bet the cast's salaries took up at least half the budget. KIDNAPPING is a good film, not a great one, and someone should pony up the bread to buy the rights from Crown International or whomever has them these days and mount a remake of the intriguing premise.  Also with Miguel Fernandes, Cindy Girling, Maury Chaykin, Michael Reynolds and Elizabeth Shepherd as the First Lady.  Shepherd was originally cast as Emma Peel on THE AVENGERS, but was quickly replaced by Diana Rigg.  Music by Paul Zaza. 

KIKUJIRO (1999)--Directed by Takeshi Kitano. Stars Takeshi Kitano (as Beat Takeshi), Yusuke Sekiguchi. KIKUJIRO, a slight comedy that was shown at the 1999 Cannes Film Festival, never really grabbed me. It tries hard to be likable--it really does. Director Takeshi Kitano, who also plays the lead in KIKUJIRO, is in some ways Japan's version of Martin Scorsese: an acclaimed filmmaker closely identified with stories about the underworld--the yakuza, as it's called in Japan. I haven't seen any of Kitano's previous pictures, but this would appear to be his attempt at showcasing a newer, gentler side of his personality. KIKUJIRO's a gentle film all right, but not a very engaging one.

Episodic in nature, Kitano's screenplay focuses on Masao (Yusuke Sekiguchi), a young boy who lives with his grandmother. Masao isn't a very happy child--his father is long gone, his mother has moved away and his grandmother is too busy working to support the two of them to spend much time with him. When not dodging the local bullies, Masao spends most of his time moping silently with his head down. Determined to find his mother, Masao decides to run away from home, but is intercepted by a friend of his grandmothers (Kayoko Kishimoto), who volunteers her vagabond husband to accompany him on his journey.

Masao's mature companion, known only as Mister, is portrayed by Kitano (billed as Beat Takeshi), and might have been a more interesting character in a better movie. While never specifically stated as such, it's certainly implied that Mister may have been a yakuza earlier in life, and he certainly fits that mold: brash, abrasive, loudmouthed, wrongheaded. He reminded me of Joe Pesci's pesky runt in the LETHAL WEAPON series, but without Pesci's childlike likability. First, Mister promises to take Masao to the beach, but, instead, they wind up at the racetrack, where Mister, who's using Masao's traveling money to gamble with, berates the boy verbally for being unable to predict the winners. Now destitute, the odd couple hitchhike cross-country for what seems like ages, although this section represents some of the movie's best moments. Mister masquerades as a blind man in a desperate attempt to score a lift, and, when that plan painfully fails, tries a more direct method of getting a car to stop; these antics result in a couple of very funny sightgags.

Kitano's failure to establish a consistent tone is a major problem. Some of its humor is quite whimsical, such as late in the picture when Masao and Mister team up with a pair of bumbling bikers to play childrens' parlor games. At other times, it's slapsticky and broad, but most of the time, the movie just isn't funny at all. One early scene, in which Masao is abducted and stripped by a pedophile, is so disturbing (this is a comedy, for crying out loud) and so grossly out-of-place that I assume Kitano had some kind of point to make. Whatever it was, I missed it.

Most importantly, I just didn't care about the characters. It sounds like a cliche, but if you're making a buddy movie, you've got to make sure the two buddies who appear in nearly every scene are interesting or charming enough to make the audience want to follow their adventures. Mister is such an obnoxious jerk that, instead of earning laughter in the scenes in which he is humiliated or beaten up, he engenders a reaction of "he got just what he deserved". As for Masao, he's a cute kid alright, but also a morose one, and since he doesn't say much or even raise his chin off his chest too often, it's difficult to get to know him too well.

As a director, Kitano does engineer a few interesting shots and, while I mostly found them self-indulgent, some slow-motion fantasy dance sequences do serve to break up the monotonous pace on occasion. I also found it difficult to read the English subtitles, which are printed in white often against a light-colored background. I must mention the gorgeous piano-driven score by Joe Hisaishi, which uses the sound of a bicycle bell to illustrate Masao's innocence and the earnestness of his youthful journey. In fact, my advice would be to buy the soundtrack CD, but skip the main feature.

KILINK IN ISTANBUL (1967)--Directed by Yilmaz Atadeniz.  Stars Irfan Atasoy, Yildirim Gencer.  Here’s a great example of how insane Turkish superhero movies can be.  A woman injects what appears to be a mummy in a coffin with a hypodermic, and it awakens and strips off its bandages to reveal a man completely concealed in a skull mask and skeleton tights.  He’s a megalomaniac named Kilink (Gencer) who murders a professor while attempting to steal a secret formula that will allow him to conquer the world.  He doesn’t find it, though, and begins a succession of kidnap attempts and terrorist threats on the professor’s daughter, son Orhan (Atasoy), and Orhan’s fiancé.  While visiting his father’s grave, Orhan is visited by an elderly wizard named Shazam who materializes out of thin air and imbues him with superpowers.  All Orhan has to do is speak the wizard’s name, and lightning transforms him into a masked, caped superhero named, er, Superhero.  Sounds familiar?  Fawcett hadn’t published Captain Marvel comics in twenty years, so I suppose the Turkish lawyers thought it was okay to steal their concept.  Director Atadeniz also liberally swipes John Barry’s James Bond scores, as Superhero vanquishes Kilink’s murderous scheme at regular intervals.  KILINK’s craziness extends to its ending, which just stops in mid-story, leading, I assume, to a sequel, and what is probably the only surviving black-and-white print, which is riddled with splices, scratches and tears.  Kilink may have been inspired by Diabolik, a masked supervillain then popular in Italian comic books and the movie DANGER: DIABOLIK directed by Mario Bava.

KILINK VS. THE FLYING MAN (1967)--Directed by Yilmaz Atadeniz.  Stars Irfan Atasoy, Yildirim Gencer.  Only forty minutes or so exist of this wild Turkish superhero sequel, and much of it is a recap of KILINK IN ISTANBUL.  Kilink is a pretty cool yet mad supervillain who wants to rule the world using a death ray created by a professor in the first movie.  His arch foe Superhero (who flies) stops him.  These films are very much like old American serials with their colorful garb (though the movies are in black-and-white, or at least only b&w prints remain) and frequent action scenes.  It’s hard to properly review half a movie, but what’s here is pretty fun.

KILL AND KILL AGAIN (1981)--Directed by Ivan Hall. Stars James Ryan, Annaline Kriel, Michael Mayer, John Ramsbottom. A sequel to KILL OR BE KILLED (which I haven't seen). An American karate champion (Ryan), in Sun City for a tournament, is recruited by the U.S. Government to rescue a prominent scientist from the clutches of Marduk (Mayer, stuck with one of the worst fake beards I've ever seen), a madman bent on world domination. The scientist, Dr. Horatio Kane (Ramsbottom), was developing a method to extract fuel from potatoes (!), but accidentally stumbled upon a mind-control drug instead! Marduk is already using the drug to create an army of kung-fu kicking zombies, ready to follow his commands in his bid to conquer the world. Ryan recruits some of his buddies--big, black, bald Gorilla; Zen master The Fly, who can levitate; taciturn Gypsy Billy; and comic relief Hotdog--and, along with Kane's beautiful blond daughter Kandy (yes, her name is Kandy Kane), marches into Marduk's stronghold, stopping frequently along the way to kick the crap out of someone. This is a fast-moving kung-fu flick that doesn't take itself too seriously, and although the performers aren't the best actors around, they're decent enough, and the many karate battles are well choreographed. It certainly isn't dull. This must have been an inspiration for TV's THE A-TEAM, since the characters, their relationships and the plot are so similar to those represented on that Stephen J. Cannell series. Also with Ken Gampu, Bill Flynn, Sam Schmidt, Norman Robinson and Marloe Scott Wilson. Producer Igo Kantor is credited with music supervision, and it certainly appears as though the score consists of library cues. Filmed in South Africa by the director of KILL OR BE KILLED.

KILL BILL, VOL. 1 (2003)--Directed by Quentin Tarantino.  Stars Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen.  Considering that nearly every frame of "the 4th film by Quentin Tarantino" is based on, inspired by or downright swiped from another film, KILL BILL, VOL. 1 is among the freshest and most original cinematic experiences I've ever seen.  It's impossible to imagine any other contemporary filmmaker creating such a unique universe.  The "VOL. 1" in the title refers to Miramax's decision to split Tarantino's affectionate nod to Hong Kong martial-arts movies into two halves, rather than editing it down to a two-hour running time.  The decision seems a sound one, since VOL. 1 is so relentlessly violent and intense, a three (or more) hour version of KILL BILL would be too much for one sitting.

KILL BILL follows a vengeful young woman's obsessive quest to, well, kill Bill.  The woman, identified only as "The Bride" and played acidly by Thurman, was once a member of a hit squad known as DiVAS--the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.  For reasons to be explained in VOL. 2, which was released six months later, the Bride and her party are ambushed at her wedding rehearsal, wiped out by DiVAS members O-Ren Ishii (Liu), Elle Driver (Hannah), Vernita Green (Fox) and Budd (Madsen), all under the direction of the enigmatic, smooth-talking Bill (Carradine in a role written for Warren Beatty).  Four years later, the Bride, the only survivor, awakens from a coma and embarks on an international quest to kill those responsible.  VOL. 1 details only her fights to the death with Vernita, now a mother and housewife in Pasadena, and O-Ren, a Mob boss in Tokyo.

While it has always been obvious that Tarantino's art is fueled by his love of movies, KILL BILL marks the first time that I could truly say I know what it's like to live inside his head.  And what a strange yet magical place it is.  Aided by Robert Richardson's striking cinematography and a thick musical soundscape credited to Wu Tang Clan's The RZA, but which mainly consists of scores taken from movies as disparate as TWISTED NERVE, DEATH RIDES A HORSE, MASTER OF THE FLYING GUILLOTINE, THE GRAND DUEL, WHITE LIGHTNING, THE GREEN HORNET and even Quincy Jones' IRONSIDE theme (which had previously been lifted for FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH, Tarantino's likely influence), Tarantino has created a world where blaxploitation, Japanese anime, Asian chopsocky and grindhouse revenge flicks all reside next to one another.  While the story may be a simple one, it's drenched in such a thick syrup of atmosphere, emotion and bloody action that it can hardly be called thin.  Thurman handles a deceptively difficult role quite well, while Carradine, whose face is never seen on camera (expect him to have even more of a presence in VOL. 2), keeps Bill at the forefront of our imagination using only his voice and a few gestures.

VOL. 1 also ends with an intriguing cliffhanger, just one of several reasons that VOL. 2 is one of 2004's most anticipated films.  Also with "The Incredible" Sonny Chiba, who gives a wonderful performance as a retired sword maker; Chiaki Kuriyama (BATTLE ROYALE), who practically steals the film as Go Go Yubari, a teenage schoolgirl who wields a deadly mace; Gordon Liu as the Kato-masked Johnny Mo; Julie Dreyfus and Michael Parks as presumably the same character he portrayed in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN.  Based on a character created by Q & U (Quentin and Uma).  KILL BILL is dedicated to Tarantino influences such as Charles Bronson, William Witney and Kinji Fukasaku.

KILL BILL, VOL. 2 (2004)--Directed by Quentin Tarantino.  Stars Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Gordon Liu.  The continuation of (not the sequel to) the Bride's (Thurman) "roaring rampage of revenge" contains less action and more dialogue and characterization than KILL BILL, VOL. 1.  It's much closer to what we generally think of as a "Quentin Tarantino movie", and is more akin to the conversational quality of JACKIE BROWN than to anything else QT has made.  It's even better than the audacious first movie, thanks to more striking cinematography by the great Robert Richardson and an extraordinary cast, especially Carradine, who possibly never has received a big-screen role this juicy.

Following her bloody dispatches of O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) and Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox) in the first movie, the Bride (whose name we discover, as the punch line to a joke that really isn't worth the time Tarantino puts into it, is Beatrix Kiddo) continues to track and kill the members of her former assassination squad who murdered her entire wedding party and put her into a four-year coma.  Next on her list are Budd (Madsen), an alcoholic strip-club bouncer living in a trailer in the desert, and Elle Driver (Hannah), a one-eyed blonde.  Of course, her ultimate goal is--what else?--killing Bill (Carradine), her former lover and mentor and the father of her child.

Whereas the first film was an affectionate nod to Hong Kong martial-arts movies of the 1970's (among many other genres), this one is more reminiscent of Italian westerns, not just the basic revenge plot--a staple of spaghetti westerns--but also Tarantino's use of original Ennio Morricone and Luis Bacalov scores.  That said, one of the most memorable sequences involves the Bride's training at the hand of legendary white-bearded Pei Mei (Liu), which apes the visual style of an Asian kung fu flick.  KILL BILL, VOL. 2 also accentuates Tarantino's love of comic books, including a Carradine monologue about Superman that's partially lifted from Jules Pfieffer's THE GREAT COMIC BOOK HEROES and gags about truth serum and a deadly 5-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique that could have come straight out of Marvel's great MASTER OF KUNG FU series of the '70s. 

Bottom line, if you don't believe the relationship between Carradine and Uma, and you don't enjoy their performances, then you're not going to like this film. Both actors are fantastic. Carradine, like Robert Forster and Pam Grier in JACKIE BROWN, pops out of DTV obscurity to deliver a cat-like performance of charm, cunning and underlying evil. I don't think Oscar nominations for both stars would be undeserved.  The last section of the film is a showcase for Carradine, who spins such a thick web of deceit and charisma that we come to feel that the Bride, who has shown no mercy to her previous conquests, may not be able to break free of it.  And since both actors have such marvelous faces, Tarantino uses lots of extreme close-ups to accentuate the emotional charge between them.

In fact, my favorite part of KB2 was watching a group of very talented actors go to work.  Look for Michael Parks, who played a Texas sheriff in VOL. 1, as a Mexican whore trader who may be even more evil than Bill.  Larry Bishop, who appeared in several low-budget action films in the late 1960's like THE DEVIL'S 8 and THE SAVAGE SEVEN, pops up in a strip club scene, along with the ubiquitous Sid Haig as the bartender.  Madsen, who has worked with Carradine before, is Madsen, but he's an enormously entertaining actor when he cares, as he obviously did here.  It's doubtful Hannah has ever been better.  Bo Svenson (PART 2 WALKING TALL) plays a preacher in a manner that's warm and humorous, two words you don't usually associate with this big Swede who formerly busted heads as Buford Pusser.

Also with Jeannie Epper, Caitlin Keats, Perla Haney-Jardine, Chris Nelson and Samuel L. Jackson.  In addition to Morricone and Bacalov, the soundtrack includes cuts from Isaac Hayes ("Three Tough Guys"), Malcolm McLaren ("She's Not There") and Johnny Cash, as well as original pieces by The RZA and Robert Rodriguez (SPY KIDS).  Filmed in California, Nevada and Mexico.  Based on a character created by Q & U (Quentin and Uma).  VOL. 2 ends with picture credits that feature many actors from VOL. 1, including Sonny Chiba, Julie Dreyfus and Parks and Liu as different characters.

KILL OR BE KILLED (1980)--Directed by Ivan Hall.  Stars James Ryan, Charlotte Michelle, Norman Coombes, Raymond Ho-Tong, Daniel DuPlessis.  "The Greatest Hollywood Martial-Arts Movie Ever Made!"  Well, not exactly (and not exactly a Hollywood movie, as it was made by South Africans), but it is fun.  I really love its outrageously pulpy plot:  karate master Steve Hunt (Ryan) is recruited by a former Nazi general, Baron von Rudloff (Coombes), to participate in an upcoming tournament against a team led by an equally wealthy Japanese benefactor, Miyagi (Ho-Tong).  Von Rudloff and Miyagi had competed in a similar tournament forty years earlier, but when von Rudloff's squad was beaten (he claims Miyagi cheated him), the general was stripped of his rank and honor and banished to South Africa.  Hunt and his cute karate-kicking girlfriend Olga (Michelle) escape from von Rudloff's desert compound (represented by a very fake-looking miniature white castle), but Hunt is forced to return as a member of Miyagi's team of twenty when von Rudloff's goons kidnap Olga, promising to let her go only if Steve throws the match.

Hall's pace drags a little through the middle as von Rudloff's midget sidekick Chico (DuPlessis) travels around the world recruiting team members in various "humorous" asides, but if you like karate, KILL OR BE KILLED provides it in spades.  All the participants are actual members of the Japan Karate Association (the South African branch), and well-known karate master Stan Schmidt choreographed the fight scenes.  Instead of a lot of gymnastics and Jackie Chan-type acrobatics, the fighting appears to be straight no-frills karate, which may appeal to the martial-arts purists.  Ryan is actually a decent actor, and his long black hair and faintly Asian features provide an unusual and memorable look.  Everyone else either hams it up or keeps his mouth shut and fights; whatever the actor's style, it's done pretty well all around.  A fun movie, but not quite as good as the next year's sequel, KILL AND KILL AGAIN, which reunited Hall and Ryan, who played what seemed to be the same character, but was now a mercenary named Steve Chase.  Film Ventures International released KILL OR BE KILLED with a PG rating, although it has also been seen as KARATE KILLER and KARATE OLYMPIAD.

KILL SQUAD (1981)--Directed by Patrick G. Donahue.  Stars Cameron Mitchell, Jean Glaude, Jeff Risk.  "12 Hands...12 Feet...24 Reasons to Die!"  As the nonsensical tagline demonstrates, movies don't get a whole lot funnier than this one, even the comedies.  Stuntman Donahue wrote, produced and directed this ridiculous chopsocky, filmed entirely in and around San Jose, California.

After Joseph (Risk) is crippled and his wife raped and murdered in their home by a band of burglars led by Dutch (Mitchell), his business partner Larry (Glaude) assembles their old squad from Vietnam to avenge the attack.  The squad's investigative skills aren't exactly impressive; Donahue's screenplay is strangely structured to provide a kung fu battle about every five minutes or so.  The plot consists of various squad members dropping into a suspect's place of business, getting into a massive kung fu fight with all of the employees (in Donahue's universe, everybody is a martial arts expert), standing by as a hooded sniper knocks somebody off, and then returning to Joe's rose garden for new strategy.  This is what more or less happens for 90 minutes until there are no more characters left to kill.

KILL SQUAD is irresistible in its lunacy.  For instance, the hooded killer is revealed to have painted teeth across his upper lip; for what reason, I have no idea.  Two squad members investigate a used car dealer in the front seat of one of the lot's rides...which is revealed to have a stunt roll bar conveniently welded there!  Hmmm...I wonder if a car chase is in the foreseeable future.  Characters who deserve to die live, while those who deserve to live die.  One character even survives a push off a three-story building.  And Jeff Risk is dubbed by GILLIGAN'S ISLAND actor Russell Johnson, making lines like, "You're a good buddy, Larry" and "If only I had my mobility..." that much funnier.  The action literally is non-stop, and Mitchell's three scenes provide a bit of professionalism to Donahue's shoddy production.  Also with Jerry Johnson, Bill Cambra, Marc Sabin, Gary Fung, Alan Marcus, Mike Donahue, Sean Donahue and Ladd Ruckner (also the executive producer).  Music by Joseph Conlan.

KILLDOZER (1974)--Directed by Jerry London.  Stars Clint Walker, Carl Betz, Neville Brand, James Wainwright, Robert Urich, James A. Watson Jr.  "Too heavy to hang, too big for the gas chamber."  This made-for-TV movie has received much notoriety in recent years from viewers who remember seeing it on television or who haven't seen it, but love to chortle at its ten-cent title.  It's difficult enough to take seriously a film about a killer bulldozer, but when it's flat-out called "KILLDOZER", well...

Six familiar television actors play construction workers digging up a six-mile-square island 200 miles off the coast of Africa, transforming a World War II refueling site into a base camp for an oil company.  The deadline is short and morale is low, partially due to the strict work ethic of reformed alcoholic boss Kelly (Walker), whose charges resent his taciturn manner.  With five days to go, the work schedule hits a major snag when young Mac (Urich) is felled by a sudden and mysterious ailment that seems to have been triggered when his DC-9 bulldozer ran into a strange metallic rock.  Mac dies that night, but not before muttering something about "warning" and "blue light" privately to Kelly.  The rest of the men--snide Dennis (Betz), mechanic Chub (Brand), happy-go-lucky Dutch (Wainwright) and young Al (Watson)--take Mac's death hard and are repelled at Kelly's seemingly cold orders to get back to work.  What Kelly is afraid to admit and the others eventually learn is that the 'dozer has been possessed by an alien presence with a real mad-on for the crew.  Impervious to fire, explosives or even an empty gas tank, the 'dozer chases the cast around the island for the rest of the movie, leading to an electrifying finale.

Of course, the concept is as hokey as the campy title implies, but no-nonsense direction by London (who's still active in TV) and the professional cast's wise insistence upon playing straight makes KILLDOZER a lot more watchable than you might think.  None of the actors has much more to do than look suspicious and act frantic, but the old pros pull off the silly proceedings with admirable aplomb, particularly Betz as a snarky jackass.  Gil Melle's score adds some menace, while the teleplay by noted SF author Theodore Sturgeon and Ed MacKillop, based upon Sturgeon's lauded novella (producer Herb Solow lands a confusing "adaptation" credit), conjures up some creative methods for a bulldozer to murder people.  Wainwright was just coming off his shortlived JIGSAW series, whereas Walker (CHEYENNE), Betz (THE DONNA REED SHOW) and Brand (LAREDO) were already well-known television leads.  Urich's first series, BOB & CAROL & TED & ALICE, had been cancelled a couple of months earlier.

Believe it or not, I own a Marvel comic book adaptation of KILLDOZER, printed in WORLDS UNKNOWN #6 and carrying a cover date of March/April 1974 (the film aired on ABC in February).  Ostensibly based on Sturgeon's story, "Killdozer", as scripted by Gerry Conway (currently a writer on LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT), drawn by Dick Ayers and Ernie Chan, and edited by Roy Thomas, is a faithful adaptation given a bit more oomph by the movement in the art.  "As seen on TV!" blares the cover blurb.  After conquering print, film and comic books, I can only assume a KILLDOZER video game is on the horizon.

KILLER APE (1953)--Directed by Spencer G. Bennet.  Stars Johnny Weissmuller, Carol Thurston, Nestor Paiva, Max Palmer.  It’s difficult to imagine any of the JUNGLE JIMs being worse than this one.  It’s the pits.  All of them were filmed quickly and cheaply, but Bennet must have been directing with one hand on a stopwatch.  The stock footage is horribly mismatched, the action scenes are unconvincing, and Carroll Young’s screenplay takes the easy way out whenever possible.  For instance, the jungle is threatened by a mythical “man-ape”, an eight-foot mutant spawned from generations of crossbreeding between apes and the native babies they kidnap and raise.  This man-ape (played by pro wrestler Palmer) is impervious to knives and bullets, but Jim’s chimp Tamba stops it by dropping a loose vine on its head.  The pulpy story had promise:  Jungle Jim (Weissmuller) steps in when evil scientists conduct mind-control experiments on jungle wildlife.  In their quest to create a serum that will allow unfriendly nations to brainwash and destroy its enemies, the men led by Andrews (Paiva) test their fatal potion on animals procured innocently for them by a native tribe led by the brother of Shari (Thurston).  Weissmuller’s performance is limp even by his standards, and the oddly chosen stock footage includes old film of men bashing crocodiles over the head with sticks.  The pits.  Also with Michael Fox, Burt Wenland and Ray Corrigan.

THE KILLER ELITE (1975)--Directed by Sam Peckinpah.  Stars James Caan, Robert Duvall, Mako.  Government agent Mike Locken (Caan) is severely wounded and crippled in an assassination attempt by his partner and best friend George Hansen (Duvall), who has taken the cash and gone to the other side.  After months of rehabilitation, Mike returns to active duty and is assigned to protect Chung (Mako), a Chinese politician marked for assassination by a group of ninja led by Hansen.  Male bonding and double-crosses abound in this hired-gun project for Peckinpah, by this time an unemployable rogue allegedly working under the close supervision of United Artists head Mike Medavoy.  The story is overly complicated and the pace overly long, but Peckinpah stages some nice action sequences around interesting San Francisco locations, and Caan's wry performance is very good.  Bo Hopkins and Burt Young (ROCKY) co-star as Caan's new partners, with Arthur Hill and Gig Young properly stoic as his bosses.  Music by Jerry Fielding.

KILLER FORCE (1975)--Directed by Val Guest.  Stars Telly Savalas, Peter Fonda, Maud Adams, Hugh O'Brian, O.J. Simpson, Christopher Lee.  This old-fashioned action melodrama is a bit lacking in the logic and characterization departments, but serves as a decent shoot-'em-up for nondiscriminating adventure fans.  Its overly convoluted plot finds Mike Bradley (Fonda), maverick security guard for a South African diamond exchange, being recruited by his boss to pretend to turn renegade and swipe a diamond, hoping Mike will then be contacted by an outside gang rumored to be planning a hit on the exchange.  Mike does so, making him the adversary of the exchange's brutal head of security Webb (Savalas).  Joining up with Lewis' (O'Brian) gang, which also includes amiable Alexander (Simpson) and dignified assassin Chilton (Lee), Bradley invades the exchange, which can only be reached via an on-foot desert trek lined with alarms and boobytraps.

Shooting in the vast South African desert gives KILLER FORCE a great sense of isolation, while its game cast does its best to add three dimensions to the cartoons they're asked to play.  Unfortunately, none of the characters are sympathetic, especially the "heroes" played by Savalas and Fonda, both of whom turn out to be not exactly guys to root for.  Veteran helmer Guest delivers plenty of bang-bang action and dangerous-looking jeep stunts, which are what this movie is all about anyhow.  And there's something about Georges Garvarentz' pounding disco score that makes me wonder whether I should be taking this movie so seriously.  Co-writer Gerald Sanford worked mainly in American television on series like NIGHT GALLERY.

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE (1988)--Directed by Stephen Chiodo. Stars Grant Cramer, John Allen Nelson, Suzanne Snyder, John Vernon, Royal Dano. Clever parody of fifties' science fiction. The title creatures attack a small midwestern town. The "killer klowns" (yes, they wear makeup, big shoes, the whole bit...) use goofy prop/weapons to secure humans in cotton candy-like cocoons. Some teenagers discover the invasion, but, of course, are not believed by local law enforcement (represented by sheriff Vernon). Title song performed by the Dickies. The Chiodo Brothers, who also wrote and did the effects for this fun sleeper, brought the '70s classic LAND OF THE LOST back to Saturday morning TV in the 1990s.

KILLERS FROM SPACE (1954)--Directed by W. Lee Wilder. Stars Peter Graves, Steve Pendleton, James Seay. Scientist Graves goes down in a plane crash, and is reported dead. However, he mysteriously reappears alive and well, but with a huge scar on his chest and no memory of how it got there. It turns out Graves has been resurrected and brainwashed by aliens intent on conquering the Earth. The bald aliens have Ping-Pong balls for eyes and wear purple hooded sweat suits. Acting, dialogue and special effects are all terrible. The director's brother is Oscar winner Billy Wilder.

A KILLING AFFAIR (1977)--Directed by Richard C. Sarafian.  Stars Elizabeth Montgomery, O.J. Simpson, Dean Stockwell, Rosalind Cash.  After becoming involved in his fourth fatal shooting in 12 years on the force, Los Angeles beat cop Simpson is given a gold shield and transferred to Homicide, where he's partnered with crack detective Montgomery.  In between shootouts and interrogations, as the duo chases killer Stockwell and his girlfriend all over L.A., they have an affair, which infuriates not only O.J.'s wife (Cash), but also the race-sensitive department.  While the races of the two leads are touched upon in E. Arthur Kean's teleplay, their 14-year age difference is not, and the truth is that Montgomery and Simpson have no chemistry, neither as partners nor as lovers.  AFFAIR looks and plays like an extra-long episode of POLICE STORY (also by executive producer David Gerber), and features a couple of tightly wound action scenes.  Dolph Sweet is very good as their beleaguered boss, and is ably assisted by John P. Ryan, Charles Robinson, Allan Rich, Fred Stuthman and Todd Bridges.  Music by Richard Shores.

KILLJOY (1981)--Directed by John Llewellyn Moxey.  Stars Robert Culp, Kim Basinger, John Rubinstein, Stephen Macht, Nancy Marchand.  Sam Rolfe penned this absorbing made-for-TV mystery that won an Edgar for its teleplay and was nominated for an Emmy for Bruce Broughton’s sensitive score.  Pretty Basinger is the key in a love triangle including two physicians:  hothead Macht and mama’s boy Rubinstein.  When Basinger and Macht announce their engagement, Rubinstein convinces her that her new fiancé hasn’t forsaken his playboy past by creating an imaginary girlfriend for him named Joy Morgan.  Basinger buys the ruse, but all three find themselves in trouble when cop Culp pops up investigating her disappearance and possible murder.  How can the police be looking into a missing person who doesn’t exist?  Rolfe’s clever script provides one neat twist after another, although the small cast necessitates that the killer’s identity won’t be too hard to guess.  Culp is captivating as usual the same year he began his regular run on THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO.  Also with Ann Wedgeworth, Ann Dusenberry, Kelly Jean Peters and Arthur Roberts.  On home video as WHO MURDERED JOY MORGAN (sic).

KILLPOINT (1984)--Directed by Frank Harris.  Stars Leo Fong, Cameron Mitchell, Richard Roundtree, Stack Pierce.  Chinese actor Fong is Long, a cop chasing some gunrunners led by vicious Joe Marx (Mitchell), a nutcase who dotes on his poodle, wears flowers in his hair, and babbles incessantly to himself.  Roundtree shows up periodically as Fong's partner; he's got nothing to do, and yet still delivers the film's only good performance.  Mitchell is his usually crazy self, and Pierce as Marx's henchman looks menacing, but is thinly written.  Harris pours on the inept action sequences, some of which were choreographed by Fong.  It beats me why anyone made this movie with Fong; he's no actor, he's sure as hell isn't Jet Li in the looks department, and his martial arts skills would maybe give Rudy Ray Moore a run for his money.  Crown International actually got this into theaters.  KILLPOINT is pretty bad, which doesn't make me eagerly anticipate LOW BLOW, another Fong/Mitchell action picture.  Also with Hope Holiday, Branscombe Richmond and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace.

KING BOXER (1973)--Directed by Chang Ho Cheng.  Stars Lieh Lo.  Under its American title of FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH, KING BOXER became one of Hong Kong's most popular martial-arts exports.  Warner Brothers released it not long after ENTER THE DRAGON's enormous success.  The story is a pretty simple one:  two rival kung-fu schools, one good and one evil, are to compete in an upcoming martial-arts tournament, which causes the pupils of the bad school to ambush the good pupils in an attempt to keep them out of the competition.  Impatient student Chao Chi-hao (Lieh Lo) gains an advantage after he masters the unstoppable Iron Fist technique, which is punctuated by his hand turning red and Quincy Jones' driving IRONSIDE theme on the soundtrack.  The Shaw Brothers appear to have punched some extra money into Chang's budget, allowing for a lot of thrilling stunts and kung fu action, above-average photography and a decent pace.

KING DINOSAUR (1955)--Directed by Bert I. Gordon. Stars Bill Bryant, Wanda Curtis, Douglas Henderson. Two men and two women rocket to the planet Nova, where they battle giant rear-projected lizards, armadillos, gila monsters and other stock footage from ONE MILLION B.C. There are no dinosaurs. The astronauts explode an atomic bomb. Narrated by Marvin Miller. Written by Tom Gries, who actually went on to a very successful writing/directing career in television and motion pictures, including THE RAT PATROL and 100 RIFLES. Director Gordon's first film. He never got better at it, as viewers of ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE and others will attest.

KING FRAT (1979)--Directed by Ken Wiederhorn. Stars John DiSanti, Charles Pitt, Dan Chandler. A low-budget filmed-in-Florida ANIMAL HOUSE ripoff. Your admiration for this one will depend upon how many jokes about beer, farts, vomiting and all-around tastelessness you can take. Episodic in nature, Wiederhorn's film (with a script by Mark Jackson) is about a fraternity at Yellowsprings College (yes, there's a urination joke there) populated with misfits, drunks, reprobates and party animals that is constantly battling with a fellow frat manned by uptight preppies, tormenting the dean and spying on sorority girls in various stages of undress. There's a corpse-napping, a costume party featuring a girl dressed as Lady Godiva, an inflatable doll, some offensive Native American stereotyping, a farting contest for money, a guy in a gorilla suit and lots of beer-drinking. As silly as it all is (and as crude as the technical credits are), I have to admit I kind of enjoyed KING FRAT; it's completely unoriginal and predictable, the students are at least a decade too old, the acting is mostly broad and sometimes amateurish, but there's a certain cheekiness in the proceedings that's easy to admire in the overly PC 1990s. KING FRAT is a movie that could never be made today--at least not with Hollywood financing and distribution--and whether or not the movie's any good, that's too bad. Also with Dan Fitzgerald, Mike Grabow, Roy Sekoff and Suzina Volpina. Music by Red Neinkirchen(!)

KING KONG (1933)--Directed by Merian C. Cooper & Ernest B. Schoedsack.  Stars Fay Wray, Robert Armstrong, Bruce Cabot.  Nothing less than one of cinema’s greatest adventures.  The story should be well familiar to you:  a ship carrying brash filmmaker Carl Denham (Armstrong) and ingénue Ann Darrow (Wray) anchors near mysterious Skull Island, where no white man has ever set foot.  There they discover natives who worship the mighty Kong and offer a kidnapped Ann for sacrifice.  Kong is, of course, a 20-foot-tall gorilla who takes a screaming Ann back to his home, stopping to fight several dinosaurs and other giant monsters along the way.  First mate Jack Driscoll (Cabot) rescues Ann, and Denham uses gas to subdue Kong and take him back to New York City to display as “The Eighth Wonder of the World”.  Startling special effects by Willis O’Brien include stop-motion animation, mattes, glass paintings, miniatures and other pioneering techniques, some of which are still used to some extent.  Max Steiner’s driving score punctuates the action, and few film climaxes are as memorable as Kong’s tumble off the Empire State Building.  RKO made a ton of money off KING KONG, and it was re-released several times to further acclaim.  Universal remade it in 1976 and again in 2005.

KING KONG (1976)--Directed by John Guillermin.  Stars Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin, Jessica Lange.  No one could ever have predicted the trajectory of Lange's career based on her vapid performance here, her first film.  As dippy movie starlet Dwan, Lange is saddled with probably the worst dialogue (penned by Lorenzo Semple, Jr.) of her career and comes off looking like a breathy semi-finalist in a Marilyn Monroe lookalike contest.  No, she can't take all the blame for her poor performance or the movie's reputation, but it's probably no coincidence that she didn't appear in another film until 1979.

Ruthlessly ripped by critics of the day, KING KONG was regarded as a monumental flop, despite a reported box-office intake nearly four times its budget.  Semple's story is pretty close to that of the 1933 original:  an oil expedition financed by the Petrox Corporation and led by venal Fred Wilson (Grodin) travels by ship to Skull Island, where Wilson believes petroleum is to be found.  Also aboard is stowaway Jack Prescott (Bridges), a hippie primatologist, and Dwan, a shipwreck survivor found floating in a rubber raft who is eventually kidnapped by the island's native populace and sacrificed to their god, a giant ape named Kong.  How large Kong actually is is difficult to say, since the scale often changes from scene to scene and even shot to shot.  Despite the millions of dollars spent by producer Dino de Laurentiis and special effects technician Carlo Rambaldi on a life-size animatronic Kong, Rick Baker plays the beast in 98% of the movie in a monkey suit.  Kong is, of course, eventually captured by Wilson and returned to New York, where the big ape escapes and flees to the top of the then-new World Trade Center.

Obviously, Guillermin's remake is nowhere near the majestic quality of RKO's original KONG, but it isn't as bad as you've heard either.  Grodin seems to be the only actor in the film who knows how silly the film is, and brings a much-needed comic spin to his snarling villain.  Bridges and Lange sadly overplay the earnestness of their roles, which doesn't, thankfully, get in the way of the adventure elements, such as they are.  The concept is such a good one that not even de Laurentiis can screw it up, and if your taste in movies about giant property-destroying apes is not too discriminating, you might find enough to enjoy here.  John Barry's score is very good, and small roles by Rene Auberjonois, John Randolph, Dennis Fimple, Ed Lauter, Julius Harris, Jack O'Halloran and John Agar are pleasureable.  KING KONG is also responsible for one of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' most embarrassing gaffes, awarding Rambaldi's crew a Special Achievement Academy Award for visual effects that consist of little more than Baker's ape suit jumping around miniature sets.

KING KONG (2005)--Directed by Peter Jackson.  Stars Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody.  KONG fan Jackson’s dream came true:  someone gave him $207 million to shoot his own 187-minute remake of his favorite film.  I don’t believe any movie about a giant killer monkey needs to be three hours, and there’s a really good two-hour adventure buried beneath all the fat.  The storyline is the same as the previous two KONGs:  maverick filmmaker Carl Denham (Black) recruits Jack Driscoll (Brody)--a screenwriter in this version--and blond ingénue Ann Darrow (Watts) to accompany him aboard a ship bound for the mysterious Skull Island, where the crew encounters a lost civilization that worships a 40-foot ape called Kong.

Jackson obviously doesn’t believe that Less Is More.  For instance, where Kong fights a pterodactyl in the 1933 movie, Jackson has him fight an enormous swarm of killer bats.  A subplot involving a young stowaway and his friendship with the dignified black first mate goes nowhere, and a plethora of niggling plotholes and inconsistencies keep one from being fully absorbed into Jackson’s period setting.  On the plus side, Watts sparkles as Ann.  I’m fully convinced that, if a giant ape were to fall in love with a human female, she would be Naomi Watts.  The visual effects are mostly excellent. I'm not a CGI enthusiast, but the matte renderings of 1933 New York City are wonderful, and I have nothing but praise for the exciting biplane climax.

What Jackson needed was a strong producer capable of reining in the director’s self-indulgence.  KONG’s pacing problems are a result of “too-much-itis”.  Merian Cooper and Ernest Schoedsack, who directed the classic 1933 KING KONG, filmed a spider pit scene, but removed it, because it added nothing to the story and slowed down the narrative.  As it does in Jackson’s version, but the enthusiastic director left it in anyway, because, well, because he could, I suppose.  Whenever the story gets a full head of steam going, Jackson throws in some extraneous slow-motion or cuts to a subplot we could care less about.  The parts of KING KONG that work really work well, but the film’s length and relentlessness work against it.  Also with Thomas Kretchmann, Colin Hanks, Evan Parke, Andy Serkis, Jamie Bell and Kyle Chandler.  Original composer Howard Shore appears as a conductor; ironically, Jackson fired Shore and replaced him with James Newton Howard, whose drab music can scarcely be heard beneath the caterwauling and sound effects.

KING KONG ESCAPES (1967)--Directed by Ishiro Honda.  Stars Rhodes Reason, Linda Miller, Eisei Amamoto, Mie Hama, Akira Takarada.  Inspired by a Saturday-morning cartoon, this Toho monster mash plays much like a spy movie.  Square-jawed sub commander Carl Nelson (Rhodes Reason), an American nurse (Linda Miller) and a Japanese cohort (Akira Takarada) take a cool flying sub to Mondo Island, where they discover Kong. Meanwhile, evil villain Dr. Who (Eisei Amamoto) is in cahoots with the sexy Madame X (Mie Hama again), an agent from an unnamed Communist power, who wants the radioactive Element X.  Who builds a 60-foot King Kong robot to mine Element X (“the strongest thing there is in the world today”), which will ensure Madame’s country nuclear domination.  The damn thing doesn’t work though, so Dr. Who kidnaps the real Kong and hypnotizes him into doing Who’s bidding.  Before you know it, Kong and the newly refurbished robot Kong are fighting atop the Tokyo Tower.

Toho and director Honda joined forces with Rankin/Bass, producers of animated TV specials like FROSTY THE SNOWMAN, which resulted in ubiquitous American voice artist Paul Frees dubbing nearly every male actor in the film.  That’s okay, it just adds to the fun, which includes Kong fighting a dinosaur and a giant sea snake and Nelson’s bunch being kidnapped to Who’s Arctic lair, where the megalomaniac commands an army of jumpsuit-wearing henchmen.  Akira Ifukube’s majestic score adds much-needed gravitas to the rubber-monster cage matches.  If the busy Mie Hama looks familiar, it’s because she played one of Sean Connery’s Japanese lovers, Kissy Suzuki, in the James Bond adventure You Only Live Twice the same year.

KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (1962)--Directed by Ishiro Honda.  Stars Michael Keith, Mie Hama, Harry Holcombe, Tadao Takashima, Kenji Sahara, Yu Fujiki.  KKVG is perhaps most notable for marking the big ape’s second appearance on the big screen and first in nearly thirty years.  In retrospect, it seems amazing that America’s foremost movie monster never returned in a sequel (admittedly, the final scene of the 1933 KING KONG would have made it difficult, but, in Hollywood, a dollar sign always seems to trump dramatics).  Instead, RKO lent Kong out to Toho and special effects craftsman Eiji Tsuburaya, who eschewed Willis O’Brien’s painstaking stop-motion techniques for stuntmen in rubber suits stomping miniature cities and countrysides.

Some dopes in a nuclear submarine accidentally crash it into an iceberg, releasing Godzilla from his frozen prison.  The Big G beats feet for Tokyo, where he resumes his normal practice of stomping the city into matchsticks.  Meanwhile, a pharmaceutical company looking for a way to improve its television show’s ratings sends two dudes to Pharaoh Island, where it is rumored the natives offer non-addictive hallucinogenic berries to the mythical beast they worship.  The natives capture the drug-company flunkies, who win them over by offering a radio that plays crummy J-Pop and giving cigarettes to the children.  Sure enough, Kong is there too.  After defeating a giant octopus in battle, he chugs some berry juice and passes out long enough for the expedition team to strap him to a raft and pull him back to Japan.  Unsurprisingly, this turns out to be a bad idea, resulting in Kong’s explosive escape, his destruction of much of Tokyo, and an epic battle royal with Godzilla at Mt. Fuji.

Besides the lovely Mie Hama, who wallows in a large mockup of a monkey’s paw in the role of Kong’s love interest, the human actors don’t make much of an impact under Ishiro Honda’s direction, not that we really need them to when giant monsters are kicking the crap out of each other.  KKVG was made before Toho’s kaiju movies got really silly (we’re getting to that), so there is a bit of political subtext concerning the possible use of nuclear weapons against the monsters--an interesting point in a Japanese production made less than twenty years after Hiroshima.

THE KING OF COMEDY (1983)--Directed by Martin Scorsese. Stars Robert DeNiro, Sandra Bernhard, Jerry Lewis, Shelley Hack, Diahnne Abbott. Uncomfortable but engrossing character study of Rupert Pupkin (DeNiro), a stand-up comic wannabe who dreams of appearing on Jerry Langford's (Lewis) late-night talk show