But, believe it or not, JACKASS was resurrected by MTV Films and Paramount as a big-screen vehicle, which is nothing more than a feature-length collection of new stunts and tricks with the added bonus of profanity, nudity and grosser antics.  Among the grisly collection:  Knoxville allows a baby alligator to chomp down on his nipple, the cast gives themselves paper cuts, one performer shoves a Matchbox car up his rectum and walks into a doctor's office for X-rays, another shoots bottle rockets out of his anus, another takes a dump in a hardware store's display toilet (after originally soiling himself on his way there).

JACKASS is a freak show, roughly akin to the bearded ladies and fire-eaters of yesteryear.  It's moronic, foolish and probably detrimental to society.  Did I laugh?  You bet I did.  JACKASS is the most critic-proof film there is, one that can hardly be defended as art, but with a lowbrow entertainment value that can't be denied.  If you love seeing bowling balls slammed into the crotches of giggling, tattooed young men, it's the film for you.

It's interesting to note that the JACKASS crew, which is entirely made up of twentysomething white guys (clearly with too much time and money on their hands), appear to have little use for women and spend an inordinate amount of time being naked, placing their genitals in jeopardy, and putting things in their rectums. They're also led by the charismatic and handsome Johnny Knoxville, who is alternately bullying and nurturing, depending on what he needs his sycophantic acolytes to do. Sounds to me like a Psych 101 term paper ready to happen.

Also with Oscar-nominated director Spike Jonze (a JACKASS creator and producer), Tony Hawk, Rip Taylor, Henry Rollins and lots of guys named Bam, Steve-O and Wee Man.  JACKASS opened at #1 at the box office in October 2002.

JACKIE BROWN (1997)--Directed by Quentin Tarantino. Stars Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton, Robert DeNiro. Hollywood golden boy Tarantino followed up 1994's critical and commercial smash PULP FICTION with this crackling crime thriller based on a novel by Elmore Leonard. Tarantino took some risks in his casting of '70s icons Grier and Forster in major roles, but they paid off, since these two veterans deliver possibly the most textured performances of their careers.

Blaxploitation legend Grier (FOXY BROWN) plays Jackie Brown, a hard-luck flight attendant in her mid-40s who smuggles money into the U.S. from Mexico to make ends meet. Her boss is a psychotic gun dealer named Ordell (Jackson), who lives a comfortable life with dim sidekick DeNiro and blond beach bunny Fonda when he isn't out killing people. When Jackie is caught by ATF agent Keaton on one of her runs and forced to set Ordell up, she finds an opportunity to betray both the good guys and the bad guys, and end up a half-million dollars richer. Forster (MEDIUM COOL) is lonely bail-bondsman Max Cherry, who helps Jackie with her plan.

While Tarantino has neatly streamlined Leonard's novel into a well-constructed screenplay, the plot isn't nearly as important as his characters and his dialogue. Grier and Forster knew they had roles of a lifetime here, and, like John Travolta in PULP, don't blow their opportunities. They are so wonderful in this movie; in some ways, I get the feeling that in scenes where they are talking about getting older and not accomplishing their dreams, they just might be talking about themselves. This is a major comeback for both actors (Grier played a robot high-school teacher in CLASS OF 1999, and Forster had made a horror movie in Spain), and watching them sink their teeth into such meaty material was such a joy to watch. Forster was nominated for an Academy Award; Grier should have been. Grier also sings on the soundtrack the theme from her '70s women-in-prison classic THE BIG DOLL HOUSE. Listen for Tarantino's voice cameo on Pam's answering machine.

JACKSON COUNTY JAIL (1976)--Directed by Michael Miller. Stars Yvette Mimieux, Tommy Lee Jones. Roger Corman exploitation with a feminist slant. Dinah Hunter (Mimieux) is having a really bad week. After fighting with a sexist advertising client and breaking up with her cheating live-in boyfriend, Dinah agrees to take a new job in New York, and decides to drive there from Los Angeles. While passing through a small town in the Southwest, she is robbed and carjacked by a pair of young hippies, assaulted by a drunken barkeeper and tossed in jail on a trumped-up charge of vagrancy. In what is perhaps the most powerful scene in any New World release, a drunken deputy, whom she then kills in self-defense, rapes Dinah in her cell. Dinah wants to wait for the sheriff to return so she can tell him her story, but she is convinced to escape with a drifter named Coley Blake (Jones). The two become the objects of a major police manhunt.

What seems on the surface to be just another drive-in action flick is actually a well-written (by Donald Stewart, Oscar-nominated for MISSING) and excellently acted drama which garnered some of the best reviews of executive producer Corman's career. Jones shows some of the presence that would make him one of the biggest movie stars of the '90s, and Mimieux has arguably never been better. JACKSON COUNTY JAIL was so successful, Corman and Miller remade it as a television movie (with most of the same cast) as OUTSIDE CHANCE. Also with Severn Darden, Howard Hesseman, Betty Thomas, Robert Carradine, Nan Martin, John Lawlor, Mary Woronov and Hal Needham. Music by Loren Newkirk. Miller directed a Chuck Norris movie (SILENT RAGE), and then a succession of made-for-TV weepers.

JAGGED EDGE (1985)--Directed by Richard Marquand.  Stars Jeff Bridges, Glenn Close, Robert Loggia.  Joe Eszterhas (BASIC INSTINCT) penned this solid courtroom drama that doesn’t hold up so well after 15 years of LAW & ORDER episodes.  I’m sure it seemed fresh at the time, but at this point, there’s little Eszterhas and Marquand (EYE OF THE NEEDLE) could have done to surprise us.  Bridges is Jack Forrester, a San Francisco publishing magnate who is accused of slashing his wife to death in their bedroom.  He proclaims his innocence, and appeals to attorney Teddy Barnes (Close) to defend him in court.  They, of course, end up in bed together, even though Teddy takes the case not completely convinced of her client’s innocence.  The twist ending is hardly surprising, no matter how many red herrings Eszterhas throws at us.  Loggia received an Oscar nomination for playing Teddy’s foul-mouthed investigator; he adds some crusty comic relief, but not much more than that.  Peter Coyote, John Dehner, Leigh Taylor-Young, Lance Henriksen, James Karen and Marshall Colt are also in it.  John Barry provides a wonderfully lush score.

JAGUAR LIVES! (1979)--Directed by Ernest Pintoff.  Stars Joe Lewis, Christopher Lee, Barbara Bach, Donald Pleasence, Woody Strode, John Huston, Capucine, Joseph Wiseman.  How can an internationally filmed kung-fu flick with that supporting cast be bad?  I blame the listless direction by Pintoff (LUNCH WAGON GIRLS) and an episodic screenplay that was likely written around the one- or two-day filming schedules of the various stars.  It looks like the casting director must have been a James Bond fan.  Kickboxing star Lewis plays a spy named Jaguar who is recruited to traipse around the world chasing a mysterious, faceless druglord known only as Esteban.  His investigation consists mainly of jetting to various glamorous locations, such as Japan, Hong Kong and Spain, and following the clues to another name co-star, who gives him another clue and another location.  Most of the name actors have not enough to do; I suppose Lee comes off best as a sportsmanlike foe and Pleasence the worst as a Latin American general.  The fight scenes, when they occur, are not too bad, particularly the climactic battle between Lewis and a “surprise” foe who comes as no surprise.  Pintoff was an Oscar-winning animator who retired from film shortly after suffering a stroke in the early 1980s.  Lewis’ next film, FORCE: FIVE, was better.

JAILBAIT BABYSITTER (1978)--Directed by John Hayes.  Stars Therese Pare, Lydia Wagner, Roscoe Born.  The director of MAMA'S DIRTY GIRLS strikes again with this unbearably alluring title.  The film doesn't live up to the sleaze factor JAILBAIT BABYSITTER promises, but Continental Video had trimmed the version I saw to 73 minutes.  17-year-old Vicki (Pare) doesn't mind heavy kissing with boyfriend Robert (Born), but refuses to go any further, even though all of her female friends appear to be pretty loose.  To Robert's credit, he loves Vicki and is willing to live with the constant frustration.  However, when Vicki makes the acquaintance of sophisticated call girl Lorraine (Wagner), her sexual curiosity is stirred.  I wish I liked Hayes' film better, but not really much happens, excluding a couple of fistfights between Robert and a male rival and Vicki's curious loss of her virginity to a middle-aged man.  Certainly, the cuts in Continental's print don't help the film, but if this is the only version available, I can't recommend it.  Look for character actor Michael Pataki as Vicki's babysitting client.  Music by Jaime Mendoza-Nava.

THE JAILBREAKERS (1960)--Directed by Alexander Grasshoff.  Stars Robert Hutton, Mary Castle, Michael O'Connell, Anton von Stralen, Gabe Delutri, Toby Hill, Carlos Chavez.  American International released this slight crime drama, the first film by writer/producer/director Grasshoff, who would go on to a distinguished career as a director of documentaries and a slightly less distinguished career as a director of episodic television.  Three escaped convicts, including disbarred attorney Lake (O'Connell), pick up Lake's stepson Tom (Hutton) and Tom's wife June (Castle) and convince the couple to take them to a deserted ghost town in the California mountains.  Lake claims that he has been released from the joint and is there to meet a mobster who can clear his name.  However, the three men are really there to waylay a former inmate when he comes to pick up the stolen $400,000 he stashed there before his incarceration.  At 66 minutes, the film still feels padded, as not a whole lot happens until the man with the money finally arrives in the final reel.  Certainly made on the cheap, including the cast, which doesn't include anyone of much merit, although Hutton starred in several cheapies around this time.  Castle spent more time in the gossip pages and the police blotter than on the silver screen.

JAILHOUSE ROCK (1957)--Directed by Richard Thorpe. Stars Elvis Presley, Judy Tyler, Mickey Shaughnessy. Considered to be one of the King's best films. Presley is believable as an ex-con who, after learning the trade from his country-singer cellmate (Shaughnessy), becomes a huge recording star, has ego problems, ignores his friends, and, finally, after a beating by Shaughnessy, sees the light and marries his good-girl partner (Tyler). The film's standout number featuring Presley and some dancers performing the title song in a jailhouse setting was reputed to be choreographed by Elvis himself. It has been said that Elvis never could bring himself to watch this movie after co-star Judy Tyler was tragically killed with her husband in a car crash shortly before JAILHOUSE ROCK was released. By all accounts, she seems to have been a genuinely kind person. Look for Bill Black, Scotty Moore and D.J. Fontana in there too.

JAKARTA (1988)--Directed by Charles Kaufman. Stars Christopher Noth, Sue Francis Pai, Ronald Hunter. This early showcase for LAW & ORDER star Noth is better than I expected, considering its Troma origins (the director is the brother of Troma Team president Lloyd Kaufman, credited as executive producer). Three years after his screwup caused the death of an important witness in Jakarta, Indonesia--a witness he was in love with--former government agent Falco (Noth) is an alcoholic drifter in New York City. While sleeping off a bender in his fleabag apartment, he is kidnapped, drugged and spirited away to Jakarta, where he catches a shadowy glance of a woman who appears to be the lover he thought was killed three years before--Esha (Pai). Esha was to testify against her former lover, crimelord Hunter, when Falco caused the accident that killed her. But why has he been brought to Jakarta now? Is Esha really alive after all these years?

JAKARTA's grimy look is appropriate, yet is probably more due to budgetary restrictions than any artistic choice. Still, Kaufman choreographs several well-crafted action scenes, and Noth is credible carrying the film two years before his long-running role on "L&O". Pai was known as Suzee Pai when she was PENTHOUSE's 1981 Pet of the Year (she has a brief nude scene in JAKARTA). Also with David Gale (RE-ANIMATOR). Although Kaufman is credited as writer and director in the opening titles, the closing credits show confusing "Also Written By" and "Co-Directed By" lines. Music by Jay Chattaway.

JAKE SPEED (1986)--Directed by Andrew Lane. Stars Wayne Crawford, Karen Kopins, John Hurt, Dennis Christopher. Tongue-in-cheek adventure is supposed to be in the RAIDERS/ROMANCING THE STONE vein, but comes closer to KING SOLOMON'S MINES--the Richard Chamberlain version. Soldier-of-fortune Crawford and sidekick Christopher go to Africa to help beautiful Kopins rescue her kidnapped sister from evil white-slaver Hurt. Dull story, poor editing and bad acting. Crawford is the worst actor; he and director Lane also scripted this mess. '70s castoffs Donna Pescow and Monte Markham also appear.

JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS (1963)--Directed by Don Chaffey. Stars Todd Armstrong, Nancy Kovack, Honor Blackman, Lawrence Naismith. This classic fantasy is loads of fun for kids and adults alike. It's the story of Jason (Armstrong), who sets sail with his loyal crew in search of the legendary Golden Fleece. Along the way, he falls for the gorgeous Medea (Kovack), and battles all kinds of magical creatures including flying harpies and a bronze, sea-faring giant, all brilliantly animated by stop-motion special effects legend Ray Harryhausen. The scene where Jason fights dozens of animated skeletons in a swordfight is one of the most breath-taking action scenes in fantasy film history. Armstrong and Kovack are wooden romantic leads, but they weren't hired for their acting talents. Filmed in Italy and Greece. Screenplay by Jan Read and Beverley Cross. Music by Bernard Herrmann.

JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY (1993)--Directed by Adam Marcus.  Stars John D. LeMay, Kari Keegan, Steven Williams, Kane Hodder, Steven Culp, Erin Gray.  Remember way back in 1984 when Paramount promised us FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER?  That was a lie, of course, since Paramount made four more sequels to increasingly smaller box-office results.  After 1988's dismal FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN, Paramount sold the franchise to New Line, which had done very well with their A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET series featuring wisecracking serial killer Freddy Krueger.  In an attempt to juice up the FRIDAY series, New Line brought back Sean Cunningham, who directed the first FRIDAY THE 13TH, as producer and hired a 23-year-old fan, Adam Marcus, an NYC film school grad with no feature experience, to direct.  The result is one of the series' strangest films and in many ways its least satisfying.  I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time to shake up the formula with a new mystical backstory for Jason Voorhees, but JASON GOES TO HELL just doesn't feel much like a Jason movie.  In lifting plot elements from better films like THE HIDDEN and THE EVIL DEAD and introducing a supernatural element where none had been present before, Marcus doesn't provide enough of what we come to these movies for in the first place--a guy in a hockey mask butchering naked teenagers.

JASON opens sharply with a National Guard unit blasting Voorhees (played by stunt coordinator Hodder for the third time) into a thousand gooey pieces.  Jason is now a nationally known serial killer, landing a segment on tabloid host Robert Campbell's (Culp) AMERICAN CASELINE show in which obsessed bounty hunter Creighton Duke (Williams) vows that Voorhees will return from beyond the grave to continue his killing and that, for $500,000, he will guarantee to destroy the madman forever.  Although it was never stated in eight previous films, the body of Jason Voorhees is just a shell for a mystical evil force that can only be destroyed (sent to Hell) by another member of the Voorhees family using a magic dagger.  Even though Jason's mother (played by Betsy Palmer) said in the first film that Jason was an only child, Marcus and co-writer Dean Lorey introduce us to Jason's sister Diana (Gray), whose daughter Jessica (Keegan) and baby granddaughter are in danger of being slaughtered by Jason, since they are the only people on Earth who can kill him.

JASON also goes astray in its decision to ditch its "hero" for most of the film.  Producer Cunningham laid down a mandate to Marcus to "get rid of that hockey mask", leading the director to create Jason's new power of jumping from one body to the next by slithering down his victims' throats, as in THE HIDDEN.  Setting aside the fact that this isn't a novel idea, it cheats the audience out of seeing their icon bully his way through the movie, since Jason takes the form of other characters, such as a middle-aged coroner and a fat deputy.  Hodder does appear as Jason during the precredit sequence and the fiery finale, which really doesn't make a whole lotta sense and will probably have you checking the video box to make sure you're actually watching a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie.

The cast does its best to sell the premise, even though LeMay (who starred in the unrelated FRIDAY THE 13TH syndicated TV series) is a weak lead, and Keegan not memorable as the Final Girl.  Williams snarls his way through his part as Creighton Duke and is so good that it makes you wonder why Marcus didn't make a film about him instead.  Culp is credible in his difficult part, and it's always charming to see BUCK ROGERS idol-of-teen-boys-everywhere Gray onscreen.  Catch New Line's unrated version if you can, since it retains all of KNB's marvelously expressive makeup effects, including a particularly gooey melting man, and the most graphic sex scene in the history of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise.  Also with Billy Green Bush, Kipp Marcus, Richard Gant, Rusty Schwimmer, Leslie Jordan, Adam Cranner, Allison Smith, Michael B. Silver, James Gleason and Julie Michaels (ROAD HOUSE).  The "voice" of FRIDAY THE 13TH, Harry Manfredini, returns to supply the musical score.  JASON GOES TO HELL was not well-received critically or at the box office, so New Line waited nine years to bring Jason back to the big screen with another gimmick:  Jason in Outer Space!

JASON X (2001)--Directed by James Isaac.  Stars Lexa Doig, Kane Hodder, Lisa Ryder.  The tenth in the long-running FRIDAY THE 13TH horror series, which began in 1980, its title is actually pronounced “Jason Ex” instead of “Jason Ten”, for some reason.  It isn’t really very good, but I was surprised that I liked it as much as I did, and I’d rather watch it again than, say, HALLOWEEN H20 or I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER.

That hockey-masked madman, Jason Voorhees (Hodder), is back at it again, escaping certain death to slice and dice more beautiful young people in a secluded setting--this time in outer space!  Jason, along with a comely scientist named Rowan (cutie Doig from the ANDROMEDA TV series), was cryogenically frozen in 2008 and then thawed out more than four hundred years later--2455--by a spacefaring research team comprised of horny teenagers and gung-ho space Marines.  You would think that, four centuries from now, young people from Earth would have gotten smarter and less obnoxious, but nooooooo.  Something else you would naturally assume is that they would no longer wear 21st-century hairstyles and fashions or use 21st-century slang, but you’d be wrong there too.

As ridiculous as the premise is, where else could Jason go by this point in the series except outer space?  He’s more powerful than ever, resisting a barrage of gunfire and even a frontal attack by a sexy robot (!), the mega-powered KM-14 (Ryder).  The big disappointment comes near the end, after Jason has been chemically transformed into a super-Jason.  RoboJason, if you will.  RoboJason receives precious little screen time and proves surprisingly easy to dispatch.  Of course, Jason can never die so long as executive producer Sean Cunningham smells a buck, and the blade-slinger soon returned to battle Freddy Krueger in FREDDY VS. JASON.  Also with Chuck Campbell, Melyssa Ade, Melody Johnson, Peter Mensah and David Cronenberg.  Harry Manfredini came back to score Jason’s extraterrestrial exploits.  Isaac created a few clever moments that poke fun at Jason’s on-screen history, but, by this point, continuity with earlier films was hopelessly shot.

JAWS (1975)--Directed by Steven Spielberg. Stars Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw, Murray Hamilton, Lorraine Gary. Spielberg's second feature film was the one that made him a household name. It also ranks as one of the greatest horror films of all time. There's a man-eating shark off the shores of Amity Island near Cape Cod, and it's killing swimmers. Greedy mayor Hamilton refuses to alert the public so as not to frighten off the tourists. Eventually sheriff Scheider has no choice but to expose the cover-up and go after the 25-foot monster, along with hip ichthyologist Dreyfuss and crusty shark-hunter Shaw. JAWS was a major box-office blockbuster (at the time the biggest money-maker ever), thanks to the appealing performances of the three leads, the classic nerve-wracking score by John Williams, and tense direction by Spielberg (who was 26 years old at the time). Screenplay by Peter Benchley and Carl Gottlieb (although Howard Sackler and John Milius did uncredited polishes, and actor Shaw wrote most of his classic "Indianapolis" speech) based on Benchley's bestseller. Cinematographer was Bill Butler. Robert Mattey, who designed the mechanical squid for Disney's 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, created the three sharks used for filming. According to Spielberg, Shaw was his third choice for the role (after Lee Marvin and Sterling Hayden); now it's hard to imagine anyone else as Quint. A truly terrifying film with a number of classic scare scenes; actually, seeing JAWS again really makes one disappointed in Spielberg's more mainstream, kiddie-oriented approach to JURASSIC PARK.

JAWS 2 (1977)--Directed by Jeannot Szwarc. Stars Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Jeffrey Kramer. More of the same, but without Shaw (obviously) and Dreyfuss, and more importantly, without Steven Spielberg. Scheider only did this movie because his original contract called for a sequel. Another shark kills people off the Amity coast. This one is strong enough to pull a helicopter out of the sky.  Carl Gottlieb and Howard Sackler scripted the sequel (both worked on the original screenplay), but tend to tread familiar waters. From the director of SUPERGIRL.

JAWS 3 (1983)--Directed by Joe Alves. Stars Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong, Lou Gossett, Jr., Simon MacCorkindale. Quaid plays Roy Scheider's son from the first two JAWS movies. He works at a Sea World park in Florida. There's still another monster shark killing tourists. Carl Gottlieb (co-writer of JAWS 1 & 2) and science fiction wizard Richard Matheson wrote a script with underdeveloped characters, dull action and wild coincidences. This one was originally released in 3-D (in fact, the film's theatrical title was JAWS 3-D), so many of the special effects won't make much sense on the small screen. Lea Thompson's (CAROLINE IN THE CITY) first film. Director Alves was the production designer on JAWS.

JAWS--THE REVENGE (1987)--Directed by Joseph Sargent. Stars Michael Caine, Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest, Mario Van Peebles, Karen Young. Gary returns as the widow of Roy Scheider's sheriff. She now lives in the Bahamas, where there's another crazed shark killing swimmers. She realizes it's the spawn of the shark killed by her late husband, and it's come all this way to exact revenge on Gary! Unbelievable. This will surely nail the coffin shut on future JAWS epics. One of Caine's most ridiculous roles, which says a lot. He couldn't accept his Best Supporting Actor Oscar for HANNAH AND HER SISTERS because he was on location filming this nonsense. From the director of COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT.

JAWS 5: CRUEL JAWS--See CRUEL JAWS.

JAWS OF SATAN (1981)—Directed by Bob Claver. Stars Fritz Weaver, Gretchen Corbett, Jon Korkes. Ready for a killer-snake movie directed by the executive producer of cutesy sitcoms like THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY and GIDGET? In a television career that lasted more than thirty years, Bob Claver’s only feature film was this lunky MGM horror flick was, and what a doozy it is. Y’see, this ain’t just any ol’ king cobra. It’s a telekinetic king cobra! It doesn’t have to bite you. It can open up doors and throw your ass off a moving train. This may have been the only time busy character actor Fritz Weaver received top billing in a movie, so he gives it his hammy all as Father Farrow, an irreverent priest who comes to believe that the snakebite deaths afflicting his small town are on Satan’s payroll. And, hell, wouldn’t you believe he’s right? It’s all because his family is afflicted with a Druid curse. Or something like that. And since the greedy mayor doesn’t want to alert the townspeople that Satan’s snakes are on the prowl, so as not to endanger the new dog track, it’s up to doctor Sheridan (Corbett) and snake expert Hendricks (Korkes) to stop them. Dean Cundey (HALLOWEEN) shot this in Alabama, and it’s been filmed with more care than its script by Gerry Holland deserves. The laughable effects work will keep you watching. With Bob Hannah, Nancy Priddy, John McCurry, Diana Douglas, Norman Lloyd, and 9-year-old Christina Applegate (SAMANTHA WHO).

JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK (2001)--Directed by Kevin Smith. Stars Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith, Will Ferrell, Shannon Elizabeth, Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, George Carlin, Matt Damon. The fifth and (allegedly) final film of Smith's "New Jersey Trilogy", JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK is an amiably foul-mouthed slob comedy, one with plenty of steady laughs but less ambition than Smith's previous film DOGMA. The lead characters--Jay (Mewes), a perennially stoned drug dealer whose vocabulary mainly consists of variations on the word "fuck", and Silent Bob (writer/director Smith), Jay's portly mugging sidekick who normally opens his mouth once per film to dispense his particular brand of deep wisdom--have appeared in all of Smith's films to date. Originally, they acted as a sort of Greek chorus, tangentially popping up just enough to avoid wearing out their welcome. In DOGMA, Jay and Silent Bob became co-leads, accompanying Linda Fiorentino on her mission to New Jersey to prevent the destruction of the universe (ya gotta see it, OK?). It was clear from DOGMA, which I liked, that Jay and Silent Bob were not strong enough characters or Mewes and Smith charismatic enough actors (whether Mewes is an actor at all is debatable) to justify their increased screen time. In J&SBSB, either Smith's ego or his fan base won out, because the two rowdy slackers appear in nearly every scene.

J&SBSB is a road movie, which means its plot exists mainly as a clothesline upon which to hang an episodic series of eccentric supporting characters and slapstick setpieces. When Jay and Silent Bob discover Miramax Films (Miramax's subsidiary Dimension released J&SBSB) is planning to start production on a film version of BLUNTMAN & CHRONIC, a comic book based upon them created by Holden (Affleck) and Banky (Lee) in Smith's CHASING AMY, the two head to Hollywood to stop the movie from happening. The wacky characters they meet on their cross-country jaunt include a wizened hitchhiker (Carlin); bumbling Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (yes, it's a LAND OF THE LOST reference), played by SNL's Ferrell; four groovy teenagers and a dog in a van who suspiciously resemble a famous cartoon crime-solving team; and four hot, leather-clad jewel thieves, including sweet, spectacle-wearing Justice (Elizabeth), who falls in love with Jay. Eventually the dope-peddling duo makes it to Hollywood, where the movie kicks into a series of sometimes clever in-jokes, taking potshots at PLANET OF THE APES, DAWSONS CREEK, AMERICAN PIE and even GOOD WILL HUNTING, which features stars Affleck (as himself this time) and Damon in the preposterous sequel GOOD WILL HUNTING 2: HUNTING SEASON.

While I think Smith's best films are still inside of him someplace, J&SBSB does what he set out to do, which was to make a lighthearted, old-fashioned "slob" comedy which mixes the frenetic styling of IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD with the anarchism of a Bob Hope/Bing Crosby ROAD movie. Mewes and Smith aren't strong enough to carry an entire film--Jay's foulmouthed spewing gets old very quickly--and Smith's dialogue is not as crisp as we're used to in a Kevin Smith film; however, since he seems to have not wanted to "play to his potential" this time around the block, I can forgive him, since there are a number of sharp jokes and funny gags in the script. I'd like to see him relinquish some of his editing duties--many scenes run on too long, and there are too many breaking-the-fourth-wall "wink-winks".

The rest of the cast is good. It was interesting to see sexpot Elizabeth play a character with more depth than she usually shows. I'm not sure she's ever going to be an "actress", but I thought she showed some vulnerability. I thought the other three jewel thieves--a subplot that probably should have been cut down--were ill used, although they do look yummy in their leather catsuits. Meow! A little of Ferrell also goes a long way, and his shtick stopped being funny very quickly. Smith fans will enjoy all of the cameos featuring characters from his earlier films, including CLERKS and MALLRATS; I got a kick out of seeing Trish "the Dish", Brodie, Alyssa, Hooper, Randal, Dante, etc. again. Affleck deserves a special note. There are very few movie stars--maybe none--at his level who would subject themselves to the self-deprecating jabs made at his expense. One of the funniest scenes shows Affleck and Damon ribbing each other about the crappy films each has done (which made me wonder just why these guys are so famous in the first place if they've done so many turkeys?). Affleck doesn't "need" to appear in Kevin Smith movies--he probably has been advised against it by his "people"--and I admire the kind of stand-up guy who would not only do a couple of small parts in J&SBSB, but also take the good-natured shots at his image he does.

Technically, Smith's direction and Jamie Anderson's camerawork are pretty stiff, though not fatally so. The score by James Venable was really fun, frantically keeping up with all the goofs on screen. J&SBSB is a good, solid comedy, and I'm eager, as always, to see what Smith's got up his sleeves next. A FLETCH comedy with Jason Lee sounds promising. Also with Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter and Jennifer Schwalbach (Smith's wife) as the jewel thieves, Seann William Scott, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher from STAR WARS, Judd Nelson, Jamie Kennedy, Steve Kmetko and Jules Asner of E!, Chris Rock, Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek as "Jay" and "Silent Bob", Shannen Doherty, SCREAM director Wes Craven, Diedrich Bader, Jon Stewart, Gus Van Sant, Morris Day and The Time, and Smith regulars Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, Joey Lauren Adams, Renee Humphrey, Dwight Ewell, Vincent Pereira, Walt Flanagan, Bryan Johnson and producer Scott Mosier. Make sure you stick around during the closing credits to see Alanis Morissette's cameo. Bon Jovi, Afroman, Morris Day and The Time and Steppenwolf contribute to the soundtrack. "Jay and Silent Bob have left the building."

JEEPERS CREEPERS (2001)--Directed by Victor Salva. Stars Gina Philips, Justin Long, Patricia Belcher. I was happy to see this low-budget, independently financed ($10 million budget) horror movie with no big stars end up at the top of the box-office heap its opening weekend. Do not mistake this for "just another" self-aware teen slasher romp like I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER, HALLOWEEN H20 and URBAN LEGEND. JEEPERS CREEPERS is a taut, suspenseful, well-crafted monster movie with a terrific first half.

College-aged siblings Tricia (Philips) and Darry (Long) are driving home in Tricia's Ford Galaxie to spend spring break with their mother. The writing and performances are at their best in these early scenes, neatly setting up the isolated mood and establishing the easygoing, bickering nature of Tricia and Darry's relationship. The monotony of their cross-country jaunt ("We haven't seen another car in 50 miles," says Darry) is broken up when they're tailgated DUEL-style by an unearthly, rusted-out old truck with a blaring klaxon-like horn. The truck toys with them for a while, and then passes. A few minutes later, their adrenaline still pumping, they drive past a creepy, abandoned church, and spy the truck's driver dumping a pair of bundles down a wide, corrugated pipe. Bundles that sorta, kinda look like...bloody human bodies. Going back to check (usually, this kind of stupid behavior invites loud, vocal scorn from the audience, but I like how Salva recognizes this and has his characters justify their actions), the young siblings make a grisly discovery, and soon realize they're being stalked by a vicious and powerful gargoyle-type winged creature, who returns to Earth every 23 years for 23 days to eat humans. Not all humans, but specific parts from specific humans. Either Darry or Tricia has something The Creeper (as he's credited, but not referred to in the film) wants, but which? And what?

JEEPERS CREEPERS is, quite frankly, the best horror movie I've seen in a long time. Executive produced by Francis Ford Coppola (who also spearheaded Salva's earlier feature, CLOWNHOUSE) and produced by his American Zoetrope, it was purchased for release by MGM for a mere $2.5 million. It's quite scary and suspenseful, and contains good performances and an unexpected ending. The first half is definitely better than the second. That's because all the scares are implied and the kids' opponent is only hinted at. Salva definitely lays his cards on the table too early, showing us too much of the Creeper too soon. I liked the creature's design-especially the wings and how they're showcased-but it would have been more effective if we had seen it for the first time at the climax. This is not to say that the second half is a letdown-it isn't. A local psychic (Belcher) pops up to give us a bit of background information on the Creeper, but not too much-one of the film's great assets is how it leaves much of what we see unexplained and shrouded in ghoulish mystery. The climax, in which a police station falls under siege to the Creeper, smacks too much of THE TERMINATOR, but Salva manages to keep the suspense level high, right up to the tragic ending.

Both leads are terrific. Philips, who I recognized as a one-dimensional bitchy teacher on TV's BOSTON PUBLIC, shows that she's more than just a MAXIM pinup girl and has some solid chops as a strong, beautiful, vulnerable leading lady. I thought she and Long, best known as the fumbling high-schooler Warren on TV's ED, had excellent chemistry together, believably establishing their filial bond, and convincingly sold the terror of their situation. They're the only performers with significant amounts of screen time, and that the movie succeeds as well as it does is in no small way because of them.

THE JEWEL OF THE NILE (1985)--Directed by Lewis Teague. Stars Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, Avner Eisenberg. Entertaining but inferior sequel to ROMANCING THE STONE. Douglas, Turner and DeVito travel to the Sahara Desert to track down another priceless jewel. The chemistry between the three leads is as engaging as ever and the various action sequences are well crafted, but the screenplay by Mark Rosenthal and Lawrence Konner (THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES) isn't as structured as it should be. Produced by Douglas. Music by Jack Nitzsche.

JFK (1992)--Directed by Oliver Stone. Stars Kevin Costner, Gary Oldman, Sissy Spacek, Tommy Lee Jones. Stone's best film (to date) is this fascinating and fast-paced examination of the events that took place in Dallas, Texas on September 22, 1963 and the efforts of New Orleans DA Jim Garrison (well played by Costner) to disprove the Warren Commission's Lone Gunman theory. Many viewers and critics were angry with Stone's manipulation of historical facts, but the truth is that Stone has structured this film just like any number of political thrillers, and on that level, it's one of the best ever made. Some of Stone's conspiracy theories seem pretty loony, but it does seem obvious that Lee Harvey Oswald (played by Oldman) did not work alone that day in Dallas. Star-studded cast includes Joe Pesci, Kevin Bacon, Michael Rooker, Laurie Metcalf, Vincent DOnofrio, Sally Kirkland, Brian Doyle-Murray, Lolita Davidovich, John Candy, Wayne Knight, Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon (not together), Edward Asner, Donald Sutherland (who is brilliant), narration by Martin Sheen and the real-life Jim Garrison as Chief Justice Earl Warren! Costner's courtroom summation is probably the best scene he's ever played. Over three hours long.

THE JIGSAW MURDERS (1988)--Directed by Jag Mundhra.  Stars Chad Everett, Michael Sabatino, Michelle Johnson, Eli Rich.  Concorde actually got this sleazy cheapie into a few theaters.  It was called JIGSAW when I saw Chad Everett plugging it (and another Roger Corman movie) on a segment of SUPER PASSWORD.  He described it as a dramatic character study of an alcoholic police detective.  I believe that’s what he, the star, believed it to be, but THE JIGSAW MURDERS is actually a rotten crime drama with laughable police procedure, cardboard sets, horrible acting and dull action scenes.

Former TV leading man Everett (MEDICAL CENTER) is Joe DaVonzo, a drunken L.A. homicide detective estranged from his model daughter Kathy (Johnson) because he disapproves of the nudie photos in her portfolio.  He and his rookie partner Elliot Greenfield (soap star Sabatino) are assigned a case involving a Jane Doe whose assorted body parts are popping up around town.  With very little mystery to hook the audience, the cops soon discover her identity, which leads them to her suspected killer, a pervy photographer named Ace Mosley (Rich).  The killer’s motive and psychological profile are pretty shaky in Allen Ury’s screenplay, which concentrates on DaVonzo’s obsession with putting Mosley away and his return to the bottom of a bottle when his incompetence allows the psycho to go free.

Everett may have considered THE JIGSAW MURDERS a comeback vehicle, but the flimsy story and low budget sorely let him down.  His own stolid performance is no help; never the most versatile of actors anyway, Everett is a particularly unconvincing drunk, which is quite a drawback when one is portraying an alcoholic.  Chad comes off better than Rich, whose over-the-top line readings suggest a filial connection to one of the investors.  Mundhra’s sledgehammer direction reaches its peak with a hilariously overwrought crosscutting between a worked-up Everett, drinking and tossing his whiskey glass through his television screen, and Rich masturbating to slides of Michelle Bauer.

Besides Yaphet Kotto’s one day’s work as a jovial coroner who, yes, eats on the job and a brief bit by Brinke Stevens as a nude model, THE JIGSAW MURDERS presents little of interest.  Not even “jigsaw” murders, as the damn movie only gives us one.  Everett’s other Corman movie received even less of a release as HEROES STAND ALONE the same year his ABC pilot, THUNDERBOAT ROW, failed to get picked up.

JILL THE RIPPER--See TIED UP.

JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER (1966)—Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis. Stars Dennis Jones, Nancy Jo Berg, David Blight Jr., Karl Stoebler, Alan Rock. When legendary schlock filmmaker Lewis was grossing out audiences with groundbreaking gore hits like BLOOD FEAST and TWO THOUSAND MANIACS or titillating them with nudie cuties like BELL, BARE, AND BEAUTIFUL and BOIN-N-G, he was freaking out little kids with insane cheapies made for Saturday matinees. I’m fascinated by regional independent movies like this, even though I can’t bear to sit through most of them.

No synopsis can capture how ridiculous this movie is, but…little Jimmy (Jones), unwilling to face the daily drudgery of getting dressed and eating breakfast, wishes time would stop forever. And IT DOES! The Astronomer (Stoebler), who fears that a time-frozen world would be easy prey for the maniacally evil Mr. Fig (Blight), dispatches his daughter Aurora (Berg) to Earth to grab the whiny Jimmy and drag his ass to the Great Clock, so he can make everything right.

Setting aside the fact that Lewis couldn’t be counted on to drag this asinine premise out to 69 minutes without splicing in a newly dubbed French cartoon, the only wonder in JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER is that anyone would have ever paid to watch it sober. From the mindnumbingly juvenile songs (one is about beans!) to the grade-school-play cackling of actor Blight as the prancing, pancake-makeuped Mr. Fig in a Tarlekian plaid blazer and pink tights, this Eastmancolor fantasy couldn’t possibly hold the attention of a typical 8-year-old, but heavily lubricated college students? Maybe. And you can imagine the torture for viewers that is Slow Motion Land!

The two leading actors, pouty little Jones and schoolmarmy Berg, don’t appear to want to be on the set for the four days it must have taken Lewis to crank this out, and not one of the performances reaches the level of even adequate. And wait ‘til you see the green-skinned, pink-pants-wearing white guys playing “Indians.” To give Lewis his slight due, it’s unlikely he and producer Hal Berg (obviously related to the female lead—the only reason she could possibly have been cast) were attempting to make a good movie, but merely something to trick kids into parting with their allowance. Hersch released JIMMY himself under his Mayflower Pictures banner, and I’d be surprised if he didn’t somehow make a buck off of it. Filmed mostly at Florida’s Coral Garden, but not the most attractive parts of it, I hope. I think BLOOD FEAST star Bill Kerwin is seen mowing his lawn.

J-MEN FOREVER (1979)--Directed by Richard Patterson.  Stars Peter Bergman, Philip Proctor, M.G. Kelly.  Firesign Theater fans and serial buffs should get a kick out of this witty comedy.  J-MEN FOREVER is a mixture of clips from several old Republic cliffhangers that have been redubbed with funny new dialogue by Bergman and Proctor and re-edited into something resembling a new plot.  A masked villain named the Lightning Bug plans to conquer the Earth from his base on the Moon.  First, he attempts to infiltrate the world with loud rock music, kidnapping Earthlings and training them to become fast-talking disc jockeys, and when that fails, introducing us to the perils of marijuana.  Much of the drug humor has dated, but the gags come a mile a minute, most of the time successfully, especially if you're into puns and silly wordplay.  Among the serials spoofed are THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MARVEL, SPY SMASHER, CAPTAIN AMERICA and ZOMBIES OF THE STRATOSPHERE, which provides a funny Leonard Nimoy reference.  Music by Richard Theiss.

JOCKS (1987)—Directed by Steve Carver.  Stars Scott Strader, Perry Lang, Mariska Hargitay, R.G. Armstrong, Christopher Lee.  Only worth a curious look to see how cute LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT star Hargitay was at age 20.  For a madcap teen comedy set in Las Vegas, JOCKS is pretty tame and boring.  Crown International kept it on the shelf before releasing it, which makes all the set dressing with banners stating “1984” kinda awkward.  The contradictory plot finds L.A. College president White (Lee) threatening to fire athletic director Bettlebom (Armstrong) unless the men’s tennis team wins the championship.  White wants the trophy so badly that he overturns the suspension of the team’s best player, Kid (Strader).  However, Bettlebom spends the rest of the movie trying to sabotage the team’s efforts, which I didn’t quite get.  Also using subterfuge to ruin L.A. College’s chances are their Texas rivals, who place a big bet under the Kid’s name in order to blackmail him into throwing the match.  Lang, who went on to become a television director, shows some comic chops with Adam Mills, Stoney Jackson, Don Gibb and Trinidad Silva essaying the rest of the (over 30) college team.  Richard Roundtree, as their coach, looks like he actually enjoys being there.  Hargitay doesn’t register much as Kid’s new love interest, and Katherine Kelly Lang (THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL) and future ACE VENTURA director Tom Shadyac play her mean friends.  Carver (BIG BAD MAMA) is a better director than this.

JOE KIDD (1972)--Directed by John Sturges. Stars Clint Eastwood, Robert Duvall, John Saxon. New Mexico rancher Kidd (Eastwood) joins up with Duvall's posse to track down the Mexican bandits, led by Chama (Saxon), who destroyed his spread. Typical Eastwood western features some good action scenes, including a spectacular locomotive crash. Also with Don Stroud, James Wainwright, Stella Garcia and Gregory Walcott.

JOHNNY COOL (1963)--Directed by William Asher. Stars Henry Silva, Elizabeth Montgomery, Telly Savalas, Marc Lawrence. The great Henry Silva tackles a rare leading role as Sicilian gangster Salvatori Giordano aka Johnny Colini aka Johnny Cool, who fakes his own death in Italy and comes to the United States on a revenge mission for an American mobster (Lawrence) hiding out in Rome. In New York, Johnny meets divorced socialite Dare Guiness (Montgomery), who's more than a bit turned on after Johnny smacks down a couple of goons in a nightclub, then refuses to cave in to her romantic advances. They eventually begin a relationship, which turns a sour corner when Dare is raped by two thugs hired by mob boss Vince Santangelo (Savalas). Johnny's violent trek includes stopovers in Las Vegas and Los Angeles, where he chucks a bomb into his victim's backyard swimming pool, before a final showdown back in New York.

Written by Joseph Landon, who also penned the screenplays for THE EXPLOSIVE GENERATION (in which high school teacher William Shatner starts a scandal by teaching a sex ed class) and the Frank Sinatra World War II adventure VON RYAN'S EXPRESS, and directed by Asher, the AIP beach movie auteur who was married to star Montgomery at the time (and later produced her BEWITCHED TV show), JOHNNY COOL is a very cool gangster flick with brutal action, tons of rat-a-tat-tat dialogue ("Now is for sure. Later's maybe." says Johnny) and a swingin' jazz score by Billy May. Silva shows why he's one of cinema's great tough guys as he chops, stabs and shoots his way through half the American underworld, and even handles himself well in the softer scenes with Montgomery. Peter Lawford was the executive producer for his Chrislaw production company, and has peppered the film with some neat cameos, including Sammy Davis Jr. (who also performs the title song written by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen) as an eyepatched craps shooter, Jim Backus, John McGiver, Mort Sahl, Brad Dexter, Richard Anderson, Joan Staley, Frank Albertson, Elisha Cook Jr., Robert Armstrong (KING KONG), Douglas Dumbrille, Joseph Calleia and Joey Bishop as a used car salesman.

Pretty rare these days, JOHNNY COOL has never received a home video release, and must be considered one of the 1960's most underappreciated films. Since Silva and Asher are nearly the only principals involved with the film who are still living, someone needs to put it out on DVD with a second commentary track in a hurry. Originally released by United Artists. The soundtrack is available from Rykodisc. Based upon a novel, THE KINGDOM OF JOHNNY COOL, by John McPartland, who wrote the 1958 Robert Loggia starrer THE LOST MISSILE. From the director of BEACH BLANKET BINGO and RETURN TO GREEN ACRES.

JOHNNY DANGEROUSLY (1984)--Directed by Amy Heckerling. Stars Michael Keaton, Joe Piscopo, Maureen Stapleton, Griffin Dunne. AIRPLANE!-style spoof of gangster pictures is mishandled by FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH director Heckerling. Keaton is hoodlum Dangerously; Piscopo, his evil rival Vermin. Includes cameos by everybody from Dom DeLuise to Alan Hale Jr. Title song by "Weird" Al Yankovic.

JOHNNY FIRECLOUD (1975)--Directed by William Allen Castleman.  Stars Victor Mohica, David Canary, Ralph Meeker, Christina Hart, Sacheen Littlefeather.  Exploitation legend David F. Friedman produced this BILLY JACK knockoff, which was released overseas by 20th Century Fox.  Native American 'Nam vet Johnny Firecloud (Puerto Rican actor Mohica) returns to the small desert town where he grew up, only to find that his people are being ridiculed and beaten by the bigoted white thugs on the payroll of town boss Colby (Meeker).  Firecloud is particularly a sore subject with Colby, since the Indian was dating his daughter June (Hart) prior to joining the Army.  In fact, he went so far as to intercept the letters the young lovers sent to each other, causing June, now an alcoholic, to believe Johnny had dumped her and vice versa.  After Colby takes his hazing too far, the film switches from BILLY JACK territory to DEATH WISH, and Johnny begins meting out his own brand of vigilante justice, much to the chagrin of weak sheriff Jesse (Canary), who Colby is blackmailing into his own pocket.

What was a very obscure action movie that played briefly in drive-ins in the mid-1970s and has hardly been seen since is revealed by Something Weird Video's DVD to be a thoughtful, absorbing drama with action overtures.  Directing a screenplay by Wilton Denmark, whose credits range from the sleazy low-budget western CAIN'S CUTTHROATS to teleplays for THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, Castleman, a former associate producer on Friedman movies, crafts a surprisingly mature morality play that goes bounds beyond what was surely called for.  Sure, the exploitative elements are there, such as gory revenge, nudity and rape, like you'd expect in a Friedman film, but in between is some heady characterization and fine performances.  Canary in particular is marvelous as the complex sheriff, torn between doing what he believes is right and following Colby's orders in order to protect a personal secret.  Hart, a familiar TV face who started her career disrobing in drive-in flicks like THE STEWARDESSES and THE MAD BOMBER, is the cast's only misfire, playing her drunk role too far over the top, but she does appear topless, as does Littlefeather (best known for accepting Brando's 1973 GODFATHER Oscar), the recipient of obvious breast augmentation.

Crisply lensed in Southern California by co-producer Peter B. Goode, JOHNNY FIRECLOUD slightly transcends its drive-in origins, adding social commentary and solid performances while still delivering the bloody goods.  It's too bad Castleman, who also directed BUMMER and THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF ZORRO for Friedman, never made another film, because he worked wonders with the $225,000 he had to work with here.  Also with Frank DeKova, Jason Ledger and Buck Flower.  Music by William Loose.  Canary was well known at the time for his role on BONANZA, and has since won Emmy awards for his dual role on ALL MY CHILDREN.

JOHNNY HAMLET (1968)—Directed by Enzo G. Castellari.  Stars Andrea Giordana, Gilbert Roland, Horst Frank, Stefania Careddu, Francoise Prevost. Who would have expected to see a Shakespeare classic reinterpreted as a spaghetti western? All the staples of the Bard’s play are here—mystery, betrayal, a mother’s intense love for her son—bolstered by plenty of flashy western action and dripping with Gothic style, courtesy of genre great Enzo G. Castellari, directing the third film of his long and distinguished career.

Johnny Hamilton (Andrea Giordana) returns home after the war to visit his father’s grave in a visually stunning cemetery within a cave, where he encounters bandits Ross and Guild. At the family ranch (named Elsinore, of course), he discovers his mother Gertie (Prevost) has married his father’s brother Claude (Frank), who claims to have avenged Johnny’s father by gunning down his killer, a man named Santana. Johnny doesn’t believe Claude’s story and sets out with his old friend Horaz (Roland) to investigate.

The first twenty minutes or so are outstanding, opening with Johnny dreaming of his father in a sequence right out of a Mario Bava film like HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD. He awakens on a beach surrounded by a theatrical troupe and rides into town—accompanied by fantastic Francesco de Masi music—and to the afore-mentioned cave, which is let entirely by candles. One amazing shot has Castellari’s camera swirling slowly around a kneeling Johnny in a way that will have you wondering how it was accomplished.

The rest of the film is nifty too, if not quite up to the zing of its opening. The deaths of two young females are skillfully portrayed offscreen, and German actor Frank (THE GRAND DUEL) is properly sinister. Giordana, whose career petered out after a handful of ‘60s westerns, lacks the presence of a Franco Nero or Richard Harrison, but he plays impetuous youth well enough. Ennio Girolami, something of a regular in Castellari films (he somewhat resembles Lee Van Cleef), and Pedro Sanchez are hateable as the film’s wormy Rosencrantz and Guildenstern stand-ins.

JOHNNY RENO (1966)--Directed by R.G. Springsteen.  Stars Dana Andrews, Jane Russell, Lon Chaney, Tom Drake, Lyle Bettger.  Hopelessly outdated and clichéd western at least has an interesting veteran cast and a day or two of Vasquez Rocks location shooting going for it.  U.S. Marshal Johnny Reno (Andrews) kills one of the Conners brothers and captures the other, Joe (Drake), after they ambush him in the desert.  He takes Joe to Stone Junction, where the brothers are accused of murdering a young Indian man.  The townspeople, led by loudmouthed mayor Yates (Bettger), plan to lynch Conners, who has only the weak-willed sheriff (Chaney) and Reno, who believes Conners’ innocent pleas, to protect him.  Paramount released several routine widescreen westerns during this period, many of them directed by journeyman Springsteen and produced by A.C. Lyles.  Only the 2.35: 1 framing keeps RENO from resembling a typical TV western, although Chaney has one of the better speaking roles of his later career.  The romantic subplot between Andrews and Russell, who had surprisingly never worked together before, is a dud.  Also with John Agar, Robert Lowery, Richard Arlen, Regis Parton and Tracy Olsen.  Music by Jimmie Haskell.  A lot of these actors popped up in other Springsteen/Lyles westerns.

JUBAL (1956)--Directed by Delmar Daves. Stars Glenn Ford, Ernest Borgnine, Rod Steiger, Felicia Farr. Thoughtful western built around characterization rather than action. Ford is an amiable drifter who signs on as a hand with Steiger's ranch. Borgnine is a nasty ranchhand attracted to Steiger's wife Farr. When Farr rejects Borgnine, he tells Steiger about a false affair Farr is having with Ford, which leads to moments of passion and violence. Good cast also includes Noah Beery Jr., Valerie French, and Charles Bronson.

JUDAS KISS (1998)--Directed by Sebastian Gutierrez. Stars Alan Rickman, Emma Thompson, Carla Gugino, Gil Bellows, Simon Baker-Denny, Til Schweiger, Hal Holbrook. This New Orleans-set crime thriller by first-time director Gutierrez won some film festival awards, but made its U.S. debut on Cinemax. It's a stylish and odd crime thriller that borrows heavily from Jim Thompson and Quentin Tarantino, among others.

Small-time con artists Coco Chavez (co-producer Gugino) and Junior Armstrong (Baker-Denny) team up with stoic computer whiz Lizard (Bellows) and .44 Magnum-toting psycho Ruben (Schweiger) to kidnap a Bill Gates-like software millionaire. In the attempt, Coco is forced to kill a woman who witnessed the kidnapping. The woman turns out to be the wife of a prominent U.S. senator (Holbrook), who swears vengeance upon the killers. Investigating are reluctant caffeine addict Det. Friedman (Rickman) and cynical FBI agent Hawkins (Thompson). If the title doesn't give it away, then Friedman's references to Jim Thompson's THE KILLER INSIDE ME will clue you in that the characters are rarely as they seem and that the plot will be filled with twists and turns, some easy to spot, others not so much.

I liked JUDAS KISS a lot, even if it really isn't as interested in its plot as most crime thrillers are. Gutierrez uses enough quirky camera angles and stylized shots to juice up the story, yet not so many as to overwhelm it. One flashback involving Gugino rotating in front of a screen displaying her thoughts is, in fact, one of the cleverest flashbacks I've ever seen. Combined with Christopher Youngs interesting score and his own involving script, Gutierrez has crafted a fun thriller that will admittedly bewilder many who watch it. I also like how he found a clever excuse to throw in some completely gratuitous full frontal nudity.

Perhaps JUDAS KISS's strangest aspect is its casting. I adored every moment that Rickman and Thompson were on screen, but I imagine some audiences may be turned off at the hiring of two English actors as Louisiana policemen. The two are wonderful spoofing the clichs inherent in their buddy-cop characterizations, and appear to be having a great time breezing through their banter. The fact that their attempts at maintaining a Southern drawl aren't successful is, I suspect, part of the movie's charm. I like the way the actors partake in throwaway sexist banter as if in satiric response to Hollywood's rule that mismatched male-female partners must always fall in love while fighting with each other. Besides Bellows (ALLY MCBEAL), who's too wimpy to ever play a badass, the crooks are also well cast. Gugino (SPIN CITY) in particular has a nice showcase, sashaying around in a series of short dresses and low necklines. Also with Roscoe Lee Browne, Bobby Hosea, Lisa Eichhorn, Jack Conley, Philip Baker Hall, Joey Slotnick, William Lucking, Googy Gress, Richard Riehle and Greg Wise.

JUDGE DREDD (1995)--Directed by Danny Cannon. Stars Sylvester Stallone, Diane Lane, Armand Assante, Rob Schneider. Sly's back in primo-action form as cult comic book anti-hero Judge Dredd in this slick but empty sci-fier. After the Apocalypse, all of North America is a desert wasteland with the exception of three vastly overpopulated "Mega-Cities". In an attempt to control the chaos, heavily armored law enforcement officers patrol the streets with the power to apprehend criminals, determine their guilt, and administer punishment right then and there. The best of these "Judges" is Joseph Dredd (Stallone), who is somewhat improbably framed for murder by an escaped convict (Assante) who wishes to rule the Mega-City with zombies created from his own DNA. After some MAD MAX-style adventures in the desert, Dredd, with comic sidekick Schneider (of TV's SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE) in tow, sneaks back into the city, and, with the aid of pretty Judge Lane, manages to stop Assante's evil plot. The story is certainly thin, and the filmmakers sadly neglected to exploit the social satire of the British comic strip, but Stallone is a perfect choice to play the monosyllabic Dredd, and the assorted action scenes and visual effects are certainly striking. The clich-filled climax is weak. During the film, we discover that Stallone and Assante are artificially-created clones made from "perfect" DNA; so why does one speak with a Cuban accent, and the other with Sly's normal incomprehensible mumble? Also with Max von Sydow, Jurgen Prochnow and a wasted Joan Chen. Screenplay by William Wisher and Steven E. deSouza. Music by Alan Silvestri.

JUDGMENT AT NUREMBERG (1961)--Directed by Stanley Kramer.  Stars Spencer Tracy, Burt Lancaster, Maximilian Schell, Richard Widmark, Montgomery Clift, Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich.  Fifth-billed Schell and screenwriter Abby Mann won Oscars for this powerful courtroom drama that portrays the Nuremberg war crimes trial of four German judges (one of whom is portrayed by Lancaster) who sentenced enemies of Hitler to sterilization, concentration camps and execution.  The argument presented by German defense attorney Hans Rolfe (Schell) is that they were doing their duty as patriots by following the letter of the law, and if these men are to be found guilty, shouldn't others, such as Winston Churchill and American industrialists who supported and even contributed to Hitler's early rise to power, also be considered culpable?  Leading the three-jurist tribunal is Judge Dan Heywood (Tracy), a New Englander and Everyman who, like most Americans in the aftermath of the Third Reich, seeks to understand how the German people, such as the attractive widow Bertholt (Dietrich), who in his experience are kind and intelligent, could have gone along with the Nazi party's atrocities.  Under intense questioning by dogmatic Army prosecutor Tad Lawson (Widmark), witnesses include a baker's assistant (Clift) who was ordered sterilized because of his alleged feeblemindedness and a woman (Garland) accused of having sexual relations with an elderly Jewish man, who was executed for it.

JUDGMENT received ten Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture and acting nods for Tracy, Clift and Garland.  It's an extraordinarily powerful if overlong drama, although director Kramer nicely uses Ernest Laszlo's camera to swirl around, track across or zoom in on his cast, which adds some movement to a film whose strength is its dialogue and casting.  Mann's musings on patriotism and the complications of war had previously been seen in a 90-minute live presentation on TV's PLAYHOUSE 90 (which also starred Schell and was directed by George Roy Hill), but the film's extra length allows him and Kramer to spend more time looking into the horrors of the Nazi regime and the moral questions that surround those who participated, no matter their justification.  For instance, Lancaster's character is portrayed as a thoughtful, decent man whom many Germans feel shouldn't be prosecuted at all.  Ernest Gold punctuates the dramatics with German-tinged compositions.  You'll easily spot a young acclaimed stage and TV actor named William Shatner playing Tracy's aide; others in support include Edward Binns, Virginia Christine, Ben Wright, Werner Klemperer, Ray Teal, Kenneth McKenna, Rudy Solari and Ed Nelson.

JUDGMENT NIGHT (1993)--Directed by Stephen Hopkins. Stars Emilio Estevez, Stephen Dorff, Denis Leary. I liked this well-photographed actioner about four obnoxious yuppies in an RV on their way to a Chicago boxing match who accidentally kill a gang member, and are relentlessly hunted MOST DANGEROUS GAME-style through the projects by Leary and his henchmen. Leary, normally a brilliantly bitter stand-up comic, may have a future as a movie heavy. Other soon-to-be-recognizable faces in the cast include Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeremy Piven and Peter Greene. Despite its Windy City setting, I think this Universal film may have been shot in Atlanta. From the director of LOST IN SPACE.

JUGGERNAUT (1974)--Directed by Richard Lester. Stars Richard Harris, Omar Sharif, Anthony Hopkins, Roy Kinnear. A terrorist calling himself Juggernaut plants seven explosive devices aboard the luxury oceanliner Brittanic, and threatens to blow up the vessel unless he is paid 500,000 pounds. The company is willing to pay, but the British government stonewalls, saying it isn't policy to give in to terrorists. With just a few hours to go before Juggernaut's deadline, an elite English bomb squad led by the colorful Tony Fallon (Harris) parachutes onto the ship in an effort to defuse the devices, which are housed in seven green 50-gallon drums, while police superintendent McCleod (Hopkins) attempts to capture the assassin. The fact that McCleod's wife and children are aboard the Brittanic adds to the tension. Sharif plays Brunel, the ships captain.

Filmed partially aboard a real Russian cruise ship, JUGGERNAUT delivers the goods. It's tense, well-paced and exciting, and features a breezy, laid-back performance by Harris, as well as nice work by Kinnear as a pathetically perky purser attempting madly to keep the passengers morale high on the eve of their potentially explosive deaths. Also with Shirley Knight, David Hemmings, Ian Holm, Clifton James, Julian Glover, Simon MacCorkindale and Freddie Jones. Music by Ken Thorne (SUPERMAN II).

JUMPIN' JACK FLASH (1986)--Directed by Penny Marshall. Stars Whoopi Goldberg, Stephen Collins, John Wood. Marshall's directorial debut. Whoopi is a bank computer programmer who begins receiving messages from an unknown American spy trapped behind the Iron Curtain. Seeking a little excitement and romance in her life, she decides to help in his rescue. An uneven mixture of comedy and intrigue with a good supporting cast: Annie Potts, Jon Lovitz, Jim Belushi, Carol Kane. And, yes, the classic Rolling Stones rocker is an important plot element. The soundtrack also includes Aretha Franklin's sad remake.

THE JUNGLE BOOK (1967)--Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman. Voices by Phil Harris, Sterling Holloway, Louis Prima, George Sanders, Sebastian Cabot. I haven't seen this one since I was a child, but I remember being amused by Baloo the Bear (voiced by Harris). This animated version of Rudyard Kipling's classic Mowgli stories is considered to be not one of Disney's better classics, but little kids should enjoy the mixture of songs, action and humor.

JUNGLE GENTS (1954)--Directed by Edward Bernds. Stars Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Bernard Gorcey, Laurette Luez, Clint Walker, David Gorcey, Benny Bartlett. Prolific B-director of Blondie, Three Stooges, and SF programmers Bernds also made several Bowery Boys pictures for Allied Artists. Sach (Hall), Slip (Leo Gorcey), Chuck (David Gorcey), Butch (Bartlett), and Louie (Bernard Gorcey) head to Africa to seek out riches after they discover Sach’s nose has an uncanny ability to sniff out diamonds. Even lovelier than all that ice is Luez (PREHISTORIC WOMEN) as a very sexy jungle girl who falls for Sach. The Boys sure can pack a lot of slapstick into a 64-minute running time, thanks in part to Bernds and co-writer Elwood Ullman, who also worked with the Stooges and Abbott & Costello. Their Bowery Boys movies tended to be more fantasy-oriented than the others, pitting the boys against monsters, robots, ghosts, foreign spies, and Satan! Also with Patrick O’Moore, Ned Glass, John Harmon, Emil Sitka, and Woody Strode. Clint Walker, a year before his TV stardom on CHEYENNE, made his film debut as a Tarzan-like character. A Walker Web site claims he was using the name “Jett Norman,” but he receives no billing in JUNGLE GENTS.

JUNGLE GIRL (1941)--Directed by William Witney & John English. Stars Frances Gifford, Tom Neal, Gerald Mohr, Trevor Bardette, Eddie Acuff. Gorgeous Gifford plays Nyoka, the title character of this 15-chapter Republic serial. Bad guy Mohr conspires with an evil witch doctor to steal diamonds from an African tribe. Nyoka lives in the natives' village with her physician father John Meredith (Bardette), but when Mohr murders John and replaces him with his ex-con twin brother Bradley (also Bardette), Nyoka teams up with a he-man pilot (Neal) and his comic-relief sidekick Curly (Acuff) to foil Mohr's evil plan. On the plus side, the stunts rank among Republic's best--there's plenty of vine-swinging on display by Helen Thurston (doubling for Gifford)--some of the cliffhangers are truly exciting, and the script does its best to get Gifford wet at least once per chapter. On the other hand, Mohr--while smarmy--is a pretty dull villain, the locations look nothing like Africa, the natives' wigs and makeup are lame, and the music credited to Cy Feuer, Paul Sawtell and Mort Glickman is awful. Not in the upper echelon of Republic serials, but pretty entertaining. 20-year-old Gifford is definitely one of the most beautiful serial heroines, and looks great in her leather dress. Also with Frank Lackteen, Tommy Cook, Robert Barron and stuntman David Sharpe.

JUNGLE GODDESS (1948)--Directed by Lewis D. Collins. Stars George Reeves, Ralph Byrd, Wanda McKay. Two macho pilots crashland in the jungle, and stumble onto a primitive civilization ruled by a marooned white heiress. Worth a look only because of its comic-book cast. Reeves was TV's Superman. Byrd played Dick Tracy in films and television. McKay looks terrific in a leopard-skin outfit.

JUNGLE JIM (1948)--Direceted by William Berke.  Stars Johnny Weissmuller, Virginia Grey, George Reeves.  When Olympic gold medalist Weissmuller quit playing Tarzan at RKO, he jumped over to Columbia and joined producer Sam Katzman for a series of B-pictures based upon King Features’ comic strip character Jungle Jim, who was created by FLASH GORDON‘s Alex Raymond.  The difference between the two characters was that Jim wore more clothes and spoke better English (although Weissmuller’s acting didn’t get any better).  Other than that, the sets, plots and stock footage were pretty much the same.  In the first of 16 Jungle Jim features over seven years, Jim guides a prim scientist (Grey) through the jungle on a search for a lost temple that houses a rare exotic poison that, used properly, is also a polio vaccine.  Future Superman Reeves steals the picture as Edwards, a greedy photographer who fools the natives into accepting him as a god after taking their picture (!) and kills many of them while stealing their treasure.  The screenplay by Carroll Young, who wrote many Jungle Jim, Tarzan and Bomba B-pics, hasn’t enough story to fill 72 minutes, so director Berke turns to lengthy comic hijinks between a cute puppy and a cute crow (named Caw-Caw).  The menaces are standard jungle boo-hooey, as Jim fights a leopard, a lion, an avalanche, some sort of sea monster, an elephant stampede and an army of pissed-off natives.  The climax is generally rousing, and is probably as good an action setpiece as the Jungle Jim series ever produced.  Lita Baron, Rory Calhoun’s Spanish wife, contributes a sexy dance, and Holmes Herbert and Rick Vallin help provide support.  In addition to the 16 films, Weissmuller also did 26 episodes of a JUNGLE JIM TV series.