Marty's Marquee

Black Thunder-Bowery Boys

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B

BLACK THUNDER (1997)--Directed by Rick Jacobson.  Stars Michael Dudikoff, Richard Norton, Gary Hudson.  Neither Dudikoff nor Norton works very hard in this cheapjack DTV action movie from Concorde/New Horizons and executive producer Roger Corman.  In fact, I have no idea why you would cast either of these guys and fail to film them performing even one martial arts battle, but, hey, that's just me.  Hudson, as Dudikoff's partner in combat, shows off his chopsocky skills though.  Hot-shot Air Force pilot Vince Conners (The Dude) gets the call from Andrews when his former teacher and best pal Ratcher (Norton) turns traitor and swipes the government's newest prototype:  a stealth fighter with a cloaking device that blocks not only radar, but also the human eye.  In typical Corman style, much of the action footage appears to be stock footage swiped from another (probably better) movie, and when he runs out, he just repeats the same shots, like we're so absorbed in the lame story that we won't notice.  Jacobson has put together an interesting supporting cast and tosses in some welcome nude scenes among the numerous unbelievable shootouts, but BLACK THUNDER is strictly for the most undiscerning action fan.  Also with Michael Cavanaugh, Nancy Valen, Frederic Forrest, Landon Hall and Catherine Bell.  Dull score by David and Eric Wurst.
 
BLACK WIDOW (1987)--Directed by Bob Rafelson. Stars Debra Winger, Theresa Russell, Nicol Williamson, Terry O'Quinn. I expected more from director Rafelson (FIVE EASY PIECES) than this offbeat thriller delivers. The sultry Russell is suspected of marrying wealthy men, then murdering them for their fortunes. Investigator Winger goes undercover to investigate, and ends up forming a close friendship with Russell. The leads are good, but the film just doesn't excite. Dennis Hopper does well in a small role as one of Russell's victims. Written by Oscar-winner Ron Bass (RAINMAN). Cast includes Diane Ladd, Mary Woronov, James Hong, Leo Rossi and playwright David Mamet.

BLACKBEARD'S GHOST (1968)--Directed by Robert Stevenson. Stars Peter Ustinov, Dean Jones, Suzanne Pleshette, Elsa Lanchester. Cute Disney comedy about the 18th-century pirate who is forced to linger in limbo until he helps the track coach (Jones) of a small college win a championship. Kids'll like it.
 
BLACKBELT (1992)--Directed by Charles Philip Moore.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Deirdre Imershein, Matthius Hues, Richard Beymer, Alan Blumenfeld.  Wilson stars in this ripoff of THE BODYGUARD as ex-cop Jack Dillon, who takes a job protecting rock star Shanna (Imershein) from a freaky German stalker (Hues) who confuses the sexy singer with his mother, with whom he had an incestuous relationship.  Meanwhile, Shanna's mobster backer (Beymer) wants her to re-up her contract, and resorts to violence in an effort to force her.  Dillon signed on for one job and ends up fighting two baddies simultaneously.  What a coincidence.  BLACKBELT appears to have been the victim of MPAA cuts, rendering some scenes slightly confusing.  Moore shows little flair as either a writer or director, staging plenty of fights involving actual championship kick boxers (including Bad Brad Hefton), but none is the least bit remarkable.  An unrelated sequel filmed in Manila followed.
 
BLACKBELT 2: FATAL FORCE (1993)--Directed by Joe Mari Avellana and Kevin Tent.  Stars Blake Bahner.  Concorde/New Horizons made this cheap sequel in the Philippines.  Soap actor Bahner plays an L.A. cop named Brad Spyder (really) who goes to Hawaii to find the mobsters who killed his partner.  There's lots of action, but little logic, and executive producer Roger Corman didn't provide the production with enough of a budget to cover one day of catering expenses on a typical Hollywood picture.
 
THE BLACKBOARD JUNGLE (1955)--Directed by Richard Brooks. Stars Glenn Ford, Anne Francis, Sidney Poitier, Vic Morrow, Richard Kiley, John Hoyt, Richard Deacon. Gritty melodrama about an inner-city high school teacher (Ford) terrorized, but later respected, by his class of juvenile delinquents. Was condemned by many religious and social organizations at the time of its original release--mainly because of the use of Bill Haley and the Comets' "Rock Around the Clock" over the opening credits. Kiley plays the meek math teacher whose prize collection of 78 rpm records are smashed by the unruly students. Made stars of Poitier and Morrow; other students were played by future stars Paul Mazursky and Jamie Farr. Based on Evan Hunter's bestseller.
 
BLACKJACK (1998)—Directed by John Woo.  Stars Dolph Lundgren, Kate Vernon, Saul Rubinek, Fred Williamson, Padraigin Murphy.  John Woo, Dolph Lundgren and Fred "The Hammer" Williamson made a movie together? How can that not kick ass? Actually, it really doesn't, and the reason is simple. BLACKJACK was made as a television pilot; therefore, it's full of stupid TV-show gimmicks and absent some serious bloodletting. It does, however, boast a few exciting action setpieces in the John Woo style and an easygoing performance by star Lundgren, who really would make for a good TV action hero.

Made in 1998, just after FACE/OFF, Woo's first American smash hit, BLACKJACK stars Dolph as Jack Devlin, a former U.S. Marshal turned private bodyguard. When his friend Tim (Williamson in a supporting role) is shot while protecting a gorgeous supermodel from a psycho stalker, Devlin comes out of retirement to take over Tim's job and hopefully notch some vigilante justice.

Good grief, could this guy have any more gimmicks? Writer Peter Lance must have been desperate to come up with all this nonsense. Any two of these would be enough for most TV shows, but for crying out loud.

* Due to an accident in which he was attacked with a flash grenade, Dolph has developed a phobia to the color white. When he sees something white, he freaks. Amazingly, the villain figures this out.
* Dolph uses playing cards as an edged weapon. Whether they're specially sharpened cards, we aren't told.
* Dolph's friends are killed in an accident, and their precocious 9-year-old daughter Casey (Murphy) comes to live with him. She has an IQ of 165.
* Dolph has a, er, friend or something named Thomas (Rubinek). He's Italian, has only one eye, cooks Dolph's meals, apparently lives in Dolph's luxury apartment, and gets very jealous when Dolph talks about women. Could Lundgren have been playing TV's first gay action hero?
* Because of his white-o-phobia, Dolph is seeing a shrink (Vernon). She's a sexy woman who smokes cigars and has an obvious attraction to him. He calls her whenever he's busy and needs someone to pick Casey up at school. And she does it.

At least the action scenes are badass. The first one finds Dolph killing about twenty dudes invading the mansion where Casey and her parents live. The highlight finds Dolph leaping off the balcony of the exploding house, landing on a trampoline, bouncing in the air, turning, shooting two pistols at a bunch of bad guys, and bouncing into the pool. Later, he has a big fight with the main heavy in a milk factory. What a coincidence, considering that whole white thing.

At a heavy 112 minutes, BLACKJACK is too long to have been a TV-movie, so much footage must have been added later. It doesn't need the padding and would play better with several scenes missing. BLACKJACK isn't a success, but the novelty of Dolph Lundgren in a John Woo movie is of some interest. It's too bad they haven't worked again since, but if Woo keeps making bombs like WINDTALKERS, he'll be swimming in the pool of direct-to-video soon, which is Dolph's stomping ground.

BLACULA (1972)--Directed by William Crain. Stars William Marshall, Thalmus Rasulala, Denise Nicholas, Vonetta McGee. Marshall gives one of the screen's most vivid vampire characterizations as African prince Mamuwalde, who is cursed by Count Dracula and trapped in the Count's catacombs. 150 years later, Mamuwalde is transported to Los Angeles by a pair of swishy interior decorators, who become Blacula's first victims. Between neck-bitings and chase scenes, Mamuwalde meets the reincarnation of his long-dead wife (McGee), transforms into a bat, and is stalked by suave hero Rasulala. The low budget of this American International Picture is evident, but the action scenes are fun, and Marshall is a majestic count indeed. Also with Gordon Pinsent, Ketty Lester, Elisha Cook, Jr. (with a hook hand!), Ji-Tu Cumbuka, and Charles Macauley as Drac. Music by Gene Page; songs performed by the Hues Corporation ("Rock the Boat"). Interesting animated titles by Sandy Dvore. Samuel Z. Arkoff was executive producer. Produced by Joseph T. Naar, who later gave us STARSKY & HUTCH. The sequel was SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM.

BLADE (1998)--Directed by Stephen Norrington. Stars Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Stephen Dorff. OK comic-book movie based upon characters created by Marv Wolfman (who sued New Line over use of his creation) and Gene Colan for Marvel in the early '70s. Snipes is Blade, a taciturn vampire hunter who teams up with his mentor Whistler (Kristofferson) to battle the bloodsuckers. Blade is half-vampire himself, since his mother was bitten by one just prior to giving birth. Dorff is the main bad guy, who rebels against the vampire establishment (!), which seems to consist of Euro-trash guys in fancy suits sitting around a large conference room taking their time about dominating the world. Snipes looks the part and delivers in the action department, but character development is not the films strong suit. Theres' plenty of blood and martial-arts battles for gorehounds, but I thought many of the CGI effects were lame. Also with Udo Kier, Donal Logue and Traci Lords.

BLADE II (2002)--Directed by Guillermo Del Toro.  Stars Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Leonor Varela, Ron Perlman, Norman Reedus.  The rare sequel that eclipses the original, BLADE II is an energetic and surprisingly bloody comic book movie from the Spanish director of THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE and MIMIC.  Two years after his mentor Whistler (Kristofferson) was kidnapped (we thought he was killed in BLADE, but, hey, comic book fans know that if you don't actually find a body...), vampire hunter Blade (Snipes) has found a new partner-teenaged slacker/computer expert Scud (Reedus).  Blade is a rare human/vampire hybrid, born just minutes after his mother was bitten by a vamp (she died in childbirth).  This means he has all the powers and strength of a vampire, but none of the weakness (sunlight doesn't affect him, for instance).  After rescuing Whistler in an effective pre-credit sequence, which does an excellent job of recapping the first film and establishing the main characters, Blade discovers his new mission:  to team up with his enemies to vanquish a new breed of vampire called the Reapers.  Forging an uneasy alliance with vampire "princess" Nyssa (Varela) and the "Bloodpack", a specially trained commando unit of vampires created specifically to destroy Blade, our shades-wearing hero and his mismatched sidekicks plunge into the seedy Prague nightlife, bickering with each other and using up a lot of bullets.

BLADE II is a lot of fun.  It's loud, violent, very stylish, and filled with almost wall-to-wall fight scenes.  It's also a great test of Snipes' charisma-Blade takes "strong and silent type" to new heights, but Snipes manages to lighten the mood with a few one-liners, and he really is a terrific "poser", looking like he stepped right out of a Marvel Comics panel.  The fight choreography is fast and furious, although much of it is too "videogame-y" (Del Toro often substitutes CGI "fighters" in place of actors and stuntmen).  Kristofferson practically steals the film as the grizzled old wisecracker he usually plays at this point in his career, and Perlman both looks and talks tough as the Bloodpack's leader.  Also with Donnie Yen, Thomas Kretchmann, Luke Goss and Das Crawford.  Marco Beltrami's score is loud, if not stylish, but the bad metal songs that populate the soundtrack often drown it out.  The exotic, Chilean-born Varela (CLEOPATRA) promoted the film with a stirring cover feature in MAXIM.  Snipes receives an executive producer credit, as do legendary Marvel publisher Stan Lee and Marvel Films' exec Avi Arad.  Writer Marv Wolfman, who sued New Line Cinema and Marvel over ownership of the character after the first movie came out (he lost), created the character of Blade in the pages of Marvel's TOMB OF DRACULA comic.  TOD artist Gene Colan also receives a "based on characters created by" credit, although Wolfman claimed he was Blade's sole creator.  I'd just as soon see a TOD movie than a BLADE III.

BLADE RUNNER (1982)--Directed by Ridley Scott.  Stars Harrison Ford, Sean Young, Rutger Hauer.  I didn’t think much of the original version when I saw it on home video in 1984, and now that I’ve seen the more recent “Director’s Cut,” which removes Ford’s confusing, dull narration (among other changes), I can’t really say I’m any more impressed.  Syd Mead’s production design is obviously sublime, and I like the visual effects and the look of the futuristic vehicles, but Hampton Fancher and David Webb Peoples’ nothing story (complete with obvious plotholes) can’t be overlooked so easily.  BLADE RUNNER is easily one of the most influential films of its era.  Its portrayal of Los Angeles in the year 2019 as an overcrowded, dark, dreary, rainy city filled with art-deco architecture and a seedy populace set the precedent for dozens of future-set SF movies.  I can’t get past some of the stiff performances, particularly Young’s robotic (pardon the pun) spin as a “replicant” garbed like Veronica Lake, or the turgid pacing.  Ford plays a “blade runner” (the term is unexplained), a bounty hunter who tracks down renegade androids (called “replicants”), this time a nasty bunch led by Roy Batty (a good Hauer).  Also with Brion James, Edward James Olmos, Daryl Hannah, Joanna Cassidy, William Sanderson, M. Emmet Walsh and Joe Turkel.  Music by Vangelis.  I liked the novel Fancher and Peoples adapted, Philip K. Dick’s DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP?, when I read it in high school.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999)--Directed by Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sanchez. Stars Heather Donahue, Michael Williams, Joshua Leonard. Actor Darren McGavin once said, of his classic (though short-lived) '70s TV series KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER: "It's...frightening if the lights suddenly go out in the house and something starts scratching at the door and you don't know what the hell it is. You open the door and there's nothing there. You shut the door and pretty soon it starts again. Now that's scary." Although the conventions of network television forced McGavin to water down the horror elements of KOLCHAK, I've never forgotten that quote, even twenty years after I first read it.

I've thought about it a lot recently, with Hollywood kicking out one shallow and dull special effects extravaganza after another. Just because one has the technology to do or show something using visual or CGI effects doesn't mean one should. One of the most terrifying films ever made features absolutely zero special effects, no gore (except for one minor, though effective, shot), no happy ending, and breaks nearly every standard Hollywood rule for commercial filmmaking. It's not giving away anything to say there's no happy ending, as THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT opens with a card stating: "In October of 1994, three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland while shooting a documentary. A year later their footage was found."

After this ominous initiation, we are introduced to our main characters: bossy, self-assured director Heather (Donahue), laconic hippie cameraman Josh (Leonard) and average-guy soundman Mike (Williams). Setting off to Burkittsville to film a documentary about an urban legend known as the Blair Witch, who has allegedly murdered dozens of people (including children) in the Maryland woods for centuries, the young filmmakers dawdle around town for a while, interviewing the locals, filming the graves of some of the Blair Witchs victims, and even mocking some of the scary stories. The terror really begins to mount when they hike into the woods for a couple of days to shoot footage. But they run across some really creepy rock monuments and twig figures. Then they begin to hear strange noises at night. And someone (or something) coats their supplies with some weird slime. And something happens to their map, and they get lost. And begin to fight with one another. And get colder and hungrier and more frightened. Until the truly haunting final shot.

Much of the films impact can be attributed to its strange method of shooting. The actors (whose characters have the same names) shot all the footage themselves using a 16mm film camera and a color camcorder, so all the footage we see is from the first-person perspective. Donahue, Williams and Leonard improvised their dialogue while camping out for real for eight days and nights, while writer-directors Myrick and Sanchez set traps for them at night, and left notes for them in baskets telling them which direction to hike next. The actors deliver strong performances, with Donahue in particular a name I wouldn't mind hearing bandied about around Academy Award nomination time. A scene in which she films what amounts to a goodbye to her mother is perhaps the most heart-wrenching you've ever seen.

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT is an original, striking and soon-to-be-classic horror film, which grows on me more and more as I think about it. The audience with whom I saw it sat transfixed from beginning to end; it seemed as though you could hear their collective heartbeats during the climax. Even as I sit here writing this review, I'm a little nervous about noises outside, and may not sleep well tonight. When is the last time a horror movie affected you this way?

BLAME IT ON RIO (1984)--Directed by Stanley Donen. Stars Michael Caine, Joseph Bologna, Michelle Johnson, Demi Moore, Valerie Harper. The first slapstick farce about statutory rape. Caine and Bologna are best pals who take their teenaged daughters (Johnson, Moore) on vacation with them. Johnson seduces Caine, which makes for many so-called wacky situations. Pretty uncomfortable to watch, despite some eye-popping topless scenes involving Johnson and Moore. A remake of a French film. Script by Charlie Peters. From the director of SINGING IN THE RAIN!

BLAST (2005)—Directed by Anthony Hickox.  Stars Eddie Griffin, Breckin Meyer, Vivica A. Fox, Vinnie Jones.  Whose idea was it to cast skinny funnyman Griffin and charisma-challenged TV actor Meyer in a buddy action movie?  Probably the same person who hired DIE HARD scribe Steven de Souza to pen a duplicate of that classic action flick, but set on an oil rig off the Pacific coast.  Tugboat captain Dixon (Griffin) is the odd man out when an armed gang led by environmental terrorist Kittridge (Jones) invades the rig and locks all the hostages, including Dixon’s adopted white son, down below.  While FBI agent Reed (Fox) negotiates from the mainland, Dixon ends up roaming around the rig, making wisecracks and cracking bad guys in the face, and teaming up with Jamal (Meyer), a cyberthief originally in cahoots with Kittridge.  Hickox’s jittery camera captures all the gunfire and goofing off, but the director is greatly let down by his visual effects crew (when will filmmakers learn that crummy CGI is not going to make your $20 million movie look like a $120 million movie?), de Souza’s derivative screenplay, and the wimpy leads, who are never believable performing the stunts and fights (even though Griffin was very good parodying this type of material in UNDERCOVER BROTHER).  MY NAME IS EARL hottie Nadine Velazquez, Shaggy, Tiny Lister and Hannes Jaenicke (the latter two are dubbed) also star.  Filmed in South Africa.

BLAZING SADDLES (1974)--Directed by Mel Brooks. Stars Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Harvey Korman, Mel Brooks, Madeline Kahn. Along with YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, which came out the same year, Brooks's best film. The residents of a small Western village are shocked to find their new sheriff (Little) is a black man. Little teams up with dipsomaniac ex-gunfighter Wilder to stop the evil plans of Hedley Lamarr (Korman). The jokes and sight gags come one after the other, and most are right on target. One of the few Brooks films in which the scatological humor is funny and not just plain offensive. It's too bad Brooks couldn't think of an ending; the picture falls apart with the arrival of Dom DeLuise. Also with John Hillerman, Alex Karras and Slim Pickens.

BLAZING STEWARDESSES (1975)—Directed by Al Adamson.  Stars Yvonne DeCarlo, Bob Livingston, Don “Red” Barry, Connie Hoffman, Regina Carrol, Marilyn Joi, Harry Ritz, Jimmy Ritz, Geoffrey Land.  I wonder what fans of Adamson and producer Sam Sherman’s sex comedy NAUGHTY STEWARDESSES thought when they paid to see the sequel, and, instead of another raunchy romp with lots of nudity, got this old-fashioned homage to ‘30s B-westerns.  The sexy stews, played by Hoffman and Joi (reprising their NAUGHTY roles) and Adamson’s wife Carrol, barely figure into this mishmash, which finds rancher Livingston (also in NAUGHTY) defending his spread from hooded bandits on horseback who keep hijacking the trucks carrying his gambling equipment.  Meanwhile, the geriatric Ritz Brothers perform a few wheezy comedy routines from their old Universal pictures, and Livingston figures into a romantic triangle with madam DeCarlo and his sinister foreman (Barry). 

Middle-aged guys might have gotten a kick out of the picture at the time, despite its relative lack of sex and nudity, because it does capture the spirit of those old movies, right down to the use of Gordon Zahler’s stock music tracks and former Republic stuntman Dave Sharpe (DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE) directing the second unit.  It’s not, however, a very good movie overall with the comedy startlingly unfunny and the action not particularly brisk, outside of a couple of sharp fights and stunts directed by Sharpe.  Carrol’s performance is quite awful—she apparently viewed her character as being retarded, judging from her acting choices—but Joi and Hoffman are likable in their briefer-than-you-would-like roles.  Adamson shot on a real dude ranch near Palm Springs, California.

BLIND DATE (1987)--Directed by Blake Edwards. Stars Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, John Larroquette. Willis is set up on a blind date with the beautiful Basinger. He is warned ahead of time not to get her drunk. He does, and it turns into a night he won't soon forget. No one directs this type of slapstick the way Edwards can. His films are usually either pretty hilarious or pretty awful. This one is pretty funny. Larroquette is great as Basinger's jealous boyfriend.

BLIND FURY (1989)--Directed by Philip Noyce.  Stars Rutger Hauer, Brandon Call, Terry O'Quinn, Meg Foster.  Australian director Noyce does an uncredited American swipe of Zatoichi, a blind samurai who appeared in dozens of Japanese films and TV shows beginning in 1963.  Columbia Tri-Star's version casts Hauer as Nick Parker, who lost his sight in Vietnam and learned martial arts as a way of boosting his surviving senses.  Armed with a sword cane and a sardonic sense of humor, Parker arrives in Florida in search of his old 'Nam buddy Frank Devereaux.  He meets Frank's ex-wife (Foster) and son (Call), who explain that Frank is now living in Las Vegas.  What they don't know is that Frank, a chemist, has been kidnapped by the mob and forced to create a new form of designer drug.  To ensure his cooperation, some goons arrive at Foster's house and kill her in an attempt to kidnap Call.  It's up to Parker to make sure the boy remains alive on their cross-country journey to Vegas to rescue his father.  Loaded with plenty of action and comedy, BLIND FURY is great fun, propelled by Hauer's easy-going heroics and Noyce's sense of humor.  Noble Willingham, Nick Cassevetes, Randall "Tex" Cobb, Lisa Blount, Rick Overton and Sho Kosugi propel the supporting cast, along with J. Peter Robinson's jaunty score.  Noyce did PATRIOT GAMES next.

BLIND RAGE (1978)--Directed by Efren C. Pinon.  Stars Leo Fong, D'Urville Martin, Fred Williamson, Tony Ferrer, Leila Hermosa, Charlie Davao.  Five blind guys rob a bank.  Well, why not?  Hood Johnny Duran (Davao) masterminds a plot to steal $15 million of U.S. government money from a Manila bank vault.  Surmising that blind men would never be suspected of a bank heist, he recruits five blind men, including a magician, a martial artist and rapist Martin (DOLEMITE), and beautiful teacher Sally (Hermosa) to train them.  For some reason, Williamson appears in the final reel as Los Angeles private detective Jesse Crowder, a character he played in several other films, including DEATH JOURNEY.  Hermosa is good to look at, and the novelty of seeing blind bank robbers is mildly amusing, but this is one sloppily written and directed film.  It claims to have been filmed all over the world, including Mexico and Hong Kong, but L.A. and the Philippines were likely the only actual filming locations.  From the director of NINJA NIGHTMARE.

BLINDMAN (1971)--Directed by Ferdinando Baldi.  Stars Tony Anthony, Ringo Starr.  BLINDMAN is one of the stranger "spaghetti westerns" I've seen. Basically an Italian swipe of the long-running series of Japanese films about the blind swordsman Zatoichi (still being made with Takeshi Kitano in the role), BLINDMAN is an Italian-made, American-financed western filmed in Spain that stars U.S. actor Anthony as a blind gunfighter and British rock star Starr as a Mexican bandito. Some melting pot.

Anthony was born in West Virginia, but wrote, produced and starred in several Italian westerns during the '60s and '70s. As "Blindman", he's contracted to escort fifty mail-order brides to some miners in Texas, but his partners waylay him and sell the women to a nasty Mexican named Domingo (Lloyd Battista, another American actor who's still active in films and TV). After blowing up the bastardos, Blindman heads to Mexico to find Domingo and get his women back by kidnapping the bandit's brother Candy (Starr), a vicious rapist with a liking for a prostitute named Pilar (Agneta Eckemyr, a Swede), and holding him for ransom.

As directed by Ferdinando Baldi, BLINDMAN features several doublecrosses, a ton of beatings and explosions, plenty of gunfire, and a heapin' helping of brutality and misogyny. Anthony, also a co-producer and co-writer, seems to be going for a comic vibe, but with the mass slaughter and gangraping, it's hard to see what's so funny. Even the hero gets into the act, stripping Domingo's sister naked and tying her to a stake in the desert. Most of the women appear naked, and a mass shower scene looks like something from a women-in-prison flick. That said, I liked the film. It certainly isn't dull, tackling the violence and masochism with a lot of energy.

Released around the world beginning in 1971 and hitting U.S. theaters in 1972, BLINDMAN reportedly did quite well at the box office internationally, presumably due to the grungy subject matter and the presence of Beatle Starr (who mumbles his way through an unconvincing Mexican accent, but otherwise is quite credible). It was produced by ABKCO Films, which was owned by Allen Klein, the notorious manager of the Beatles after Brian Epstein's death and a figure instrumental in the group's 1970 breakup.

Anthony was still making spaghetti westerns over a decade later, when COMIN' AT YA! kicked off the short-lived 3D craze of the early 1980's, which included films like JAWS 3-D, AMITYVILLE 3-D and SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.  But not Ringo, who had moved on to great works of art like CAVEMAN and GIVE MY REGARDS TO BROAD STREET.

THE BLOB (1958)--Directed by Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr. Stars Steve McQueen, Aneta Corsaut. Best known for featuring a 27-year-old Steve McQueen in his first lead role, this science-fiction low-budgeter does provide a few campy laughs as the title gelatinous creature creeps through a small town, destroying everything in its path. McQueen and Corsaut are the young couple with the mission of warning the good townspeople, but, being teenagers, are disbelieved by the stern adults. The scene of the blob attacking a movie theater is pretty effective. The theme song (written by Burt Bacharach!) is hilarious. McQueen was starring in WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE on television at the time. THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN and big-screen stardom was just two years away.

THE BLOB (1988)--Directed by Chuck Russell. Stars Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Candy Clark. Colorful remake of the Steve McQueen classic about a gelatinous blob that devours a small Midwestern town. Dillon has the McQueen role. He later played John Densmore in THE DOORS. More intense than the original, but still fun. Leitch is the son of '60s folk-rocker Donovan. With Erika Eleniak, Julie McCullough and Art LaFleur. From the director of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS.

BLOOD AND BLACK LACE (1964)--Directed by Mario Bava.  Stars Cameron Mitchell, Eva Bartok.  Often credited with being the first slasher movie, BLOOD AND BLACK LACE is a nifty Italian thriller carefully crafted by legendary horror director Bava.  Someone wearing black gloves and a slouch hat is murdering beautiful fashion models.  Bava and his writers provide no shortage of red herrings, including the married couple that owns the salon played by Mitchell (who did not dub his own voice for the American version) and Bartok.  If you're looking for plot twists or characterization, you won't find a lot here, since B&BL does anticipate the '80s slasher cycle by being more interesting in the stylish murders than anything else.  The performers do provide solid characters to root for, however, but the film's strength is its colorful cinematography, lush score and vicious murders, carefully composed by Bava, a former cameraman.  Also with Mary Arden, Thomas Reiner, Luciano Pigozzi, Ariana Gorini and Harriet White Medin.  Music by Carlo Rustichelli.

BLOOD AND LACE (1971)--Directed by Philip Gilbert.  Stars Gloria Grahame, Melody Patterson, Len Lesser, Vic Tayback, Milton Selzer.  It’s been called the “sickest PG movie ever made,” and while this low-low-budget AIP shocker does contain elements of pedophilia, incest, torture, rape, murder and child abuse, it’s not entirely inconsistent with other PG rulings of the era (think BILLY JACK or JAWS).  “Not yet 21” Ellie (Patterson, formerly on F TROOP) is sent to an orphanage run by Mrs. Deere (Grahame) after her notoriously loose mother is murdered in bed by a hammer-wielding maniac.  Independent and a little messed up by her mother’s killing, during which the assailant also burned down the house, Ellie immediately locks horns with the ultra-strict Mrs. Deere, who orders her drunken handyman Tom (Lesser) to hunt down and murder kids who attempt to run away.  They freeze the corpses in the cellar and bring them up to the “infirmary” whenever social worker Mullins (Selzer) drops by to count heads.  Also in the mix is middle-aged bachelor Calvin Carruthers (Tayback), the town’s only police detective who’s working Ellie’s mom’s murder case.  Gilbert apparently never made another movie, but he does a good job with Gil Lasky’s sleazy script and no money, particularly the opening scene, which is reminiscent of HALLOWEEN.  Lesser and Tayback used to play comic heavies on THE MONKEES, and probably enjoyed playing bigger roles and receiving their own title cards on a feature.  Also with sexy Terry Messina and a young Dennis Christopher.

BLOOD BATH (1966)--Directed by Jack Hill and Stephanie Rothman.  Stars William Campbell, Marissa Mathes, Sandra Knight.  Roger Corman was the executive producer of this atmospheric independent horror movie with a convoluted production history.  He bought a Yugoslavian thriller called PORTRAIT IN TERROR that starred British actor Patrick Magee and Campbell.  Corman didn’t want to release it as is, so he hired Hill to direct a new movie using PORTRAIT IN TERROR for stock footage, and brought back Campbell to play a character different from his original.  Corman didn’t like the result, fired Hill, and hired Rothman to direct even more footage and change the plot again.  This time, Campbell’s character went from being a crazed sculptor to a vampire.  However, Corman didn’t bring Campbell back this time, so Rothman was forced to use a double for him.

The result of three different directors and three disparate storylines is a surprisingly decent thriller starring Campbell as Antonio Sordi, a murderous artist who seduces young models and boils them in wax.  He also believes he’s the reincarnation of a vampire, and imagines beautiful Daisy to be the reincarnation of an old flame.  After he kills her, her sister Donna (Knight, Jack Nicholson’s wife) shows up to investigate.  The film is set in Malibu, which looks nothing like the classic Eastern European settings in the original Yugoslavian footage, and Campbell doesn’t even attempt to make Sordi “Italian”.

The whole thing is only 62 minutes long, and probably played at the bottom of a double bill.  More Rothman footage was added later to stretch the running time to 80 minutes and make it more palatable to television syndicators.  The TV cut was titled TRACK OF THE VAMPIRE, and, believe it or not, PORTRAIT IN TERROR also had some late-night TV airplay.  You can imagine how confused 3:00am audiences must have been.  Knight appears only in Rothman’s footage, while Campbell, Sid Haig (THE BIG BIRD CAGE) and Karl Schanzer (SPIDER BABY) were in Hill’s original cut.  Biff Elliot, Linda Saunders from PETTICOAT JUNCTION and Jonathan Haze make appearances too.  Ronald Stein scored it.  Both Hill (THE BIG DOLL HOUSE) and Rothman (THE STUDENT TEACHERS) went on to make more movies for Corman.

BLOOD BEACH (1981)--Directed by Jeffrey Bloom. Stars John Saxon, Marianna Hill, Burt Young, Otis Young. This dull horror film seems like a throwback to the monster movies of the 1950s. Something is mutilating and killing people on a Santa Monica beach, and it's up to cops Saxon and Young to find out what. The monster castrates one guy! You only see the creature for a few seconds at the end, and it's pretty disappointing. You gotta like the title though...

BLOOD, BOOBS & BEAST (2007)—Directed by John Paul Kinhart.  Stars Don Dohler.  Dohler was a Baltimore-based filmmaker who gained a cult following based on his 1977 backyard cheapie THE ALIEN FACTOR, which he managed to somehow sell to television (after a very brief theatrical run), despite its obvious lack of production values and professional actors.  More people, primarily young ones (like myself), probably saw THE ALIEN FACTOR on television over the years than saw the rest of Dohler’s movies combined.  After a few more crude but strangely charming science fiction/horror movies filmed in Maryland using a lot of friends and family as cast and crew, including NIGHTBEAST and BLOOD MASSACRE, Dohler gave up filmmaking, but returned in the 2000s with a series of depressingly crummy-looking shot-on-video horror flicks directed by his business partner, an ex-cop named Joe Ripple.

Kinhart does a nice job profiling Dohler, who seems to have been a pleasant guy who enjoyed making films the old-fashioned way, but blanched at the gore and nudity he was often required by distributors to insert into them.  Kinhart interviews Dohler’s family (the most touching scenes involve the filmmaker’s caring for his mentally retarded sister), actors from his films (including George Stover, of course), and his fans, including two idiots wearing a bunch of silly hats who recite dialogue from Dohler movies.  Much of the running time is behind-the-scenes footage from Dohler and Ripple’s last film, DEAD HUNT, which looks awful.  Knowing that Dohler passed away from cancer in late 2006, just before this affectionate documentary was released, casts a melancholy spell on it, but it’s a respectable profile of an interesting and unsung cult director.  Makeup artists Tom Savini (DAWN OF THE DEAD) and Tom Sullivan (THE EVIL DEAD), Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman and LOST creator J.J. Abrams provide salutes.

BLOOD DEBTS (1983)--Directed by Teddy Page.  Stars Richard Harrison, Mike Monty.  Intentionally or not, Cannon's DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN plays like a remake of this ridiculous shot-in-the-Philippines revenge flick.  Former peplum hero Harrison (GLADIATORS 7) plays Mark (just Mark apparently; even the bad guys call him Mark), a "former Vietnam veteran" who becomes distraught when his daughter and her fiancé are gunned down by hunters (!) in his own spacious backyard.  Why they are hunting on Harrison's property with automatic rifles and why they decide to kill his family, I don't know, but I'm glad they do, because it leads to a wildly funny opening that involves gratuitous slow-motion, silly dubbing and a wimpy hunter who's tired of killing.

Somehow Mark discovers who the killers are (we never learn how).  He tracks them down and kills them one at a time.  A sinister guy named Bill (yep, just Bill), played by Monty, and his chief lackey learn Mark's identity and take photos of him wasting a rapist in the park.  This unknown American city, played not very convincingly by Manila or another Filipino community, has a lot of crime and apparently only four policemen, who sit around the station house deciding whether or not to arrest the vigilante that's doing a better job of crime prevention than they are.  Eventually, Bill kidnaps Mark's wife and blackmails him into murdering a few more people for him.  Bill claims the victims are criminals who escaped prosecution, but, unbeknownst to Mark, they're actually members of a rival mob gang.  With them out of the way, Bill's syndicate will have no competition in the local drug and prostitution trade.

The storyline actually plays much more disjointedly and illogically than I was able to recap.  Although nothing about BLOOD DEBTS makes much sense, it's never dull for a moment.  The body count is quite high, and when someone isn't getting blown up or blown away, there's always a terrible performance, bare breast, cheap set or ubiquitous warm-up jacket worn by Harrison to keep you intrigued.  I was captivated at seeing the same stretch of wooded land serve as a golf course, a park, Mark's backyard and Bill's estate.  Packed with violence and seasoned with a knuckleheaded pinch of simplistic politics, BLOOD DEBTS is a must-see for fans of pathetic cinema.  It is, of course, not good at any level of filmmaking, except as unintentionally hilarious entertainment, right down to its absurd but memorable final shot.

Harrison was approaching the end of his leading-man career, although not soon enough.  After scores of westerns, spy films and sword-and-sandal fantasies in Italy during the 1960s and '70s, Harrison ended up appearing in several action movies for Silver Star in the Philippines and IFP's notorious NINJA series made by Hong Kong director Godfrey Ho.  These titles, such as NINJA TERMINATOR and NINJA THUNDERBOLT, often consisted of footage featuring Harrison that was shot for a different feature combined with a previously unfinished or unreleased film, which usually resulted in a schizophrenic and oddly intoxicating viewing experience.  The Utah-born actor retired after reportedly becoming frustrated with IFP's shoddy product and business practices and returned to live in the United States.

BLOOD FREAK (1972)--Directed by Steve Hawkes & Brad Grinter.  Stars Steve Hawkes, Heather Hughes, Dana Cullivan.  One thing about watching terrible movies is that, occasionally, you get to see something so bizarre, so amazing, so absurdly wonderful, that it's nigh impossible to describe.  BLOOD FREAK, a no-budget wonder shot in Florida, is exactly that, a Christian anti-drug gore/monster movie that fails at every level, particularly technical.

Put together any list of the Top Ten Crappy Movies Ever, and BLOOD FREAK will undoubtedly be on it.  The acting, music, sound, photography, dialogue and special effects are beyond awful, and its combination of Bible-thumping morality and bloody horror make for a fascinating experience.  It opens with an on-screen narrator (Grinter) seated in front of a tacky plywood wall, wearing a sleazy silk shirt and smoking a cigarette.  In the best tradition of Ed Wood and Criswell, he spends about a minute spouting nonsense about "catalysts" and introducing us to Herschel (Hawkes), a muscular motorcycle-riding square with huge Elvis hair and sideburns.  While riding along the interstate, Herschel picks up pretty Angel (Cullivan), a born-again Christian who takes him back to the swanky pad she shares with her bad-girl sister Ann (Hughes), who's having a pot party.  When Herschel turns down Ann's offer of a toke, she calls him a "dumb bastard" and plots revenge by teaming up with a drug dealer named Guy and getting Herschel addicted to marijuana.

Angel and Ann's kind father agrees to let Herschel live with them and gives him a job at his turkey farm (where they sell turkey poop!).  While doing chores around the pool, Herschel is seduced by Ann's bikini-clad body and, to prove that "I'm no coward", he takes a hit of her joint.  He find that he likes pot--so much so that, a few scenes later, he's suffering from some serious DT's, spazzing and crawling all over the house until Guy can show up with a soothing joint to ease Herschel's grass jones.

Meanwhile, the turkey farm is some sort of front for scientific experiments, and the two doctors in charge ask Herschel if he'd like to earn some extra bread by eating the tainted turkey.  He sits down with a knife and fork and polishes off the whole thing, which sends him into more spastic antics before transforming him into a horrifying half-man/half-turkey.  Yes, it's true.  Herschel still has his body, but he now sports the head of a giant turkey.  He can no longer speak, just gobble, and when he shows up in his lover Ann's room, he writes her a note explaining who he is, while her only thoughts are about what their children might look like.

Not only has Herschel transformed into a gobbling turkey monster, but he also thirsts for human blood, which he gets by roaming around the swamps, killing people, turning them upside down, and jamming them in the jugular vein, catching their gushing blood in his hands and cupping it into his mouth.  Lots of screaming, gore and, of course, gobbling populate this section of the movie, highlighted by Herschel sawing a dope dealer's leg off to drink the blood pouring out of it.  The squeamish have no reason to look away, because how seriously can you take an actor in a plaster turkey head attempting to slurp blood through his beak while inane gobbling sounds dot the soundtrack?

Herschel is eventually redeemed through the power of Christ, and there's a strange mixed-message happy ending, as he ends up with pot-loving Ann, rather than Angel.  The highlight is probably the final narration, in which the oily middle-aged sleazebag smokes and pontificates about polluting your body with foreign substances, just before breaking down in an (intentional?) smoker's coughing attack.

Considering that Hawkes and Grinter's previous filmmaking experience was in sex films, including one set in a nudist colony with many middle-aged men and women completely naked, I don't know how sincere they are with their Christian message.  Perhaps they thought an anti-marijuana creed would be commercial fare in 1972 (I don't know why), but even if it was, the amount of misinformation about drugs presented in BLOOD FREAK would taint it as For Laughs Only.  Even without a killer turkey-man.  Hawkes also played a Tarzan ripoff in several Spanish pictures.  He runs a wild animal sanctuary in Florida and made the national news in 2004 when one of his tigers escaped and was killed by police.

BLOOD OF DRACULA’S CASTLE (1969)--Directed by Al Adamson.  Stars Alex D’Arcy, Paula Raymond, John Carradine, Gene O’Shane, Barbara Bishop, Ray Young.  For once, this is an Adamson film that’s actually coherent and not completely unwatchable.  It’s not very good, of course, but I did sit through all 84 minutes without getting sleepy.  Adamson took advantage of an actual stone castle built in California in the 1920’s.  A wiseass fashion photographer (O’Shane) inherits it from his uncle and takes his model girlfriend (Bishop) to look it over, intending to move into it when they get married.  The present tenants, however, the middle-aged Count Dracula (D’Arcy) and his wife (Raymond), don’t want to leave.  Life is good for them as long as butler George (Carradine) and retarded hulk Mango (Young) continue snatching beautiful young women and chaining them in the cellar to use as a bloody buffet.  The veteran actors ham it up and are fun to watch, even though it might have been a kick to see Carradine reprise his HOUSE OF DRACULA role.  Robert Dix, Vicki Volante, John “Bud” Cardos and Kent Osborne are in it too.  TV prints had Dix’s character transforming into a werewolf.

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (1968)--Directed by Jess Franco.  Stars Christopher Lee, Richard Greene, Tsai Chin, Howard Marion-Crawford, Ricardo Palacios, George Gotz.  Writer/producer Harry Alan Towers took the FU MANCHU franchise in a different direction with the fourth film, bringing in Spanish stylist Franco to heap up the sex and sadism quotient.  Based this time in Brazil, Fu Manchu (Lee) infects ten sexy women with an exotic snake poison and sends them out to kiss his enemies.  Their "kiss of death" affects its victims immediately, bringing on blindness and eventual death.  Scotland Yard's Sir Nayland Smith (Greene) is Fu Manchu's first victim, leading his sidekick Dr. Petrie (Marion-Crawford) to team up with a German adventurer (Gotz) and invade their enemy's underground lair.  Greene, taking over from Nigel Green and Douglas Wilmer, is more square-jawed, but less animated than his predecessors, although he spends most of the running time lying on a stretcher.  For some reason, Franco relinquishes too much screen time to Sancho Lopez, a South American bandit played hammily by Palacios.  Franco introduces a few topless shots to the pulp thrills this time, but BLOOD is too slowly paced to be of much interest.  Also with Maria Rohm and Shirley Eaton in scenes snatched from Franco's THE GIRL FROM RIO.

BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR (1972)--Directed by Al Adamson.  Stars John Carradine, Kent Taylor, Roy Morton, Tommy Kirk, Regina Carrol.  Here we go again.  It's hard to imagine an Adamson film any less coherent than this one, which is pieced together from at least two and maybe even three previous feature films, as well as new footage featuring Kirk and Taylor.  What was originally a straight heist movie called PSYCHO-A-GO-GO was turned into a horror movie starring John Carradine called FIEND WITH THE ELECTRONIC BRAIN, which eventually begat BLOOD OF GHASTLY HORROR, for which neither Carradine nor Morton--the star of PSYCHO-A-GO-GO who shot his scenes around 1965--worked.

A green-skinned zombie kills a bunch of people and rips off their heads.  One of them is delivered in a box to the office of Homicide detective Cross (former Disney star Kirk).  It reminds him of a story, which he tells in flashback, about a hood named Corey (Morton), who ripped off some jewels many years earlier.  Turns out he wasn't naturally psychopathic; the Vietnam vet was the victim of brain experiments performed upon him by Dr. Vanard (top-billed Carradine).  Corey eventually murdered Vanard out of revenge before dying himself while stalking a woman and her daughter on the snowy mountains of Lake Tahoe.  Back to the present, the decapitated head is a gift from Corey's father (Taylor), another mad scientist who blames Vanard for his son's trauma and kidnaps the late Vanard's daughter (Carrol, the director's wife) with plans to transform her into a zombie.

I hope the above synopsis didn't make the storyline appear clear or intelligent, because it is neither.  Indeed, how could it have been, considering the surgery Adamson and associate producer Sam Sherman must have performed on it over a period of several years.  It looks as though most of the footage is from PSYCHO-A-GO-GO, which was never intended as a horror picture and seems very out-of-place with the rest of the film.  But since the makeup, sets and special effects are so awful, I guess nothing about BLOOD much resembles a horror movie.  Adamson shoots many scenes in extreme close-up, probably to avoid showing the cheapjack sets, and his direction is so sloppy that you can often hear crew members on the set coughing!  Why, oh, why do I keep giving Adamson another chance?  Like he's suddenly going to surprise me with an intelligent, well-made, crisply acted melodrama?  Pssshaw!  Also with Richard Smedley (THE ABDUCTORS), Arne Warde and Adamson himself.  Acclaimed cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmond shot some of this, but you wouldn't know it to look at it.

BLOOD SALVAGE--See MAD JAKE.

BLOOD SIMPLE (1984)--Directed by Joel Coen. Stars John Getz, Frances McDormand, M. Emmet Walsh, Dan Hedaya. Double-crosses, triple-crosses, twists and turns abound in this modern-day film noir about a sleazy private detective (Walsh) hired by Hedaya to kill his wifes lover. Nothing is as it seems in the script written by Coen and his producer brother Ethan, and the audacious direction and camerawork by Barry Sonnenfeld (later a successful director) are reminiscent of Sam Raimi's work. Music by Carter Burwell. From the director, writer and star (McDormand) of FARGO.

BLOOD SONG (1982)--Directed by Alan J. Levi and Robert Angus. Stars Frankie Avalon, Donna Wilkes, Richard Jaeckel, Antoinette Bower, Dane Clark. Your chance to see Frankie overact as a psychotic axe murderer! Frankie's hilarious as he plants an axe in Jaeckel's head, and then stalks Jaeckel's nubile daughter (Wilkes of ANGEL fame). Not much else here, but that should be enough. Shot in Oregon.

BLOOD WARRIORS (1993)--Directed by Sam Firstenberg.  Stars David Bradley, Frank Zagarino, Jennifer Campbell.  The director of entertaining Cannon chopsocky like AMERICAN NINJA and AVENGING FORCE strikes out with this dull action movie shot in Jakarta.  Bradley, who also contributed to the screenplay, plays Wes Healy, an ex-Marine and ex-con released from prison to visit his old buddy Keith Stone (Zagarino), now a major businessman based in Jakarta.  Make that "major druglord".  Keith wants Wes to join his organization and be his right-hand man.  Wes says no, although he does say yes to the comely advances of Keith's foxy sis Karen (Campbell).  Upset by Wes' rebuff, Keith, who fosters incestuous feelings towards Karen, kidnaps her to his palatial private island, where he tries to kill Wes several times, but fails in the tradition of lame bad guys everywhere.

This movie fails just about everywhere.  The characterizations are muddled, the acting is poor, the production values are cheap (although Jakarta is an interesting location), and the martial arts battles are ho-hum.  Much of the blame must fall on Bradley for both his dull script and wooden performance, but Zagarino fails to flesh out his snarling baddie, and Campbell, who looks stunning in her underwear, is a vapid love interest.  Let's just say both stars lack the charisma of AMERICAN NINJA leads Michael Dudikoff and Steve James, and leave it at that.  Music by Jim West.

BLOOD WORK (2002)--Directed by Clint Eastwood.  Stars Clint Eastwood, Jeff Daniels, Wanda DeJesus, Anjelica Huston.  Clint directed, produced and stars in this solid if unspectacular crime drama based on a novel by Michael Connelly.  Terry McCaleb (Eastwood) was a hotshot FBI profiler before he was felled by a heart attack while chasing on foot a serial killer known as the Code Killer--so dubbed, because of the cryptic messages written in blood he left for McCaleb at each murder scene.  Two years later, McCaleb is back on his feet--but not in the Bureau--after receiving a heart transplant two months before.  Retired and taking it easy on his boat, which is parked right next to that of beer-guzzling slacker Buddy (Daniels), McCaleb is prodded into investigating the murder of a young Mexican woman by her sister Graciella (DeJesus).  Mindful of his ginger health, McCaleb is hesitant to get involved until Graciella tells him that the heart keeping him alive used to belong to her sister.  Despite the fiery objections of his physician (Huston), Terry begins looking into the killing.  When he discovers another murder with an identical M.O., he again becomes haunted with the Code Killer, the one prey he never caught...and who may still be out there.

One thing you have to admire about Eastwood is that he makes no concession to demographics or trends, casting good, solid veteran performers who may be unfamiliar to the WB crowd, but fit their roles like a glove, and shunning flashy directorial and editing gimmicks.  BLOOD WORK may seem leisurely paced, but I didn't mind the laidback manner in which Clint lets his story unfold.  With plenty of time to establish his characters and play out the mystery, Eastwood has crafted a smart detective drama (if implausible and not as clever as it would like) for audiences with patience enough to appreciate it.  McCaleb may also be the most vulnerable character of Eastwood's career, constantly touching his chest to remind himself of the borrowed time he's living on and nodding gently whenever his friends tell him how bad he looks.  In DeJesus, he's found a sexy, strong middle-aged romantic interest who makes the most of what must be the best film role of her distinguished career.  He may be 72, but he can still convincingly kick ass too, whether he's stalking a car with a shotgun or chasing a killer through a dark hideout.  If Clint never again makes an action movie, he may not have gone out with a bang, but BLOOD WORK is no whimper either.  Also with Paul Rodriguez, Dylan Walsh, Tina Lifford, Mason Lucero, Glenn Morshower and Dina Eastwood.  Lennie Niehaus scores another Eastwood production.

BLOODFIST (1989)--Directed by Terence H. Winkless.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Billy Blanks, Kris Aguilar, Rob Kaman.  Light heavyweight kickboxing champion Wilson starred in eight BLOODFIST movies in seven years for producer Roger Corman's Concorde/New Horizons.  The first was also his debut as a leading man, after brief supporting parts in SAY ANYTHING and BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.  He plays Jake Raye, a Los Angeles gym owner who travels to Manila to claim his half-brother Michael's corpse.  Jake's only clue is a swath of red polyester found clutched in Michael's hand, cloth torn from his killer's robe.  It belongs to a member of the Red Fist, a secret society of kickboxers who fight underground for the amusement of wealthy gamblers.  The only way for Jake to get inside the Red Fist to identify the murderer is to compete in the ultimate round robin--a series of championship matches in which only one man, the eventual winner, will be left standing.

You may be thinking, "Hold on, haven't you just described the plot of KICKBOXER accidentally, only it was Jean-Claude Van Damme avenging his brother's murder?"  Well, you aren't if you remember what I said above about BLOODFIST being a Roger Corman production.  Leave to Rog to rip off Cannon's successful kickboxing movie with one of his own.  At least it delivers the goods.  Writer Robert King (VERTICAL LIMIT) isn't much on creating believable human relationships or crisp dialogue, but is that really what a movie titled BLOODFIST needs?  He and director Winkless (THE NEST) know how to space the fight scenes so that no more than, oh, seven or eight minutes ever go by without somebody punching, gouging or kicking somebody else.  So it's a good thing Winkless cast his movie with an eye towards realism.  Wilson, Blanks, Aguilar and Kaman all are the Real Deal; in fact, the opening credits list their trophies along with their names.  The half-Asian Wilson is a competent if not particularly interesting leading man.  He seems a bit slight for an action star, but his real-life accomplishments obviously speak otherwise, and he handles himself well in the many fight scenes (although he is doubled for stunts like jumping off of buildings).  Joe Mari Avellana is good as Jake's trainer, while Vic Diaz, who has probably appeared in more Corman pictures than any other actor, plays a Manila cop.  Also with Riley Bowman, Michael Shaner, Ned Hourani and Kenneth Peerless.  Music by Sasha Matson (RIVER OF DEATH).  Wilson returned as Jake Raye in BLOODFIST II, but the other six sequels are in name only.  I imagine they were made individually and then tagged with the BLOODFIST moniker after production.  Winkless penned the original draft of THE HOWLING, before Joe Dante was hired to direct it and John Sayles to rewrite the script.

BLOODFIST II (1990)--Directed by Andy Blumenthal.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Joe Mari Avellana, Maurice Smith, Rina Reyes, Robert Marius.  Two years after the accidental death of an opponent spurred him to retire, undefeated light heavyweight kickboxing champion Jake Raye (Wilson) receives a phone call from his good friend and former trainer Vinnie (Smith), who's in trouble and needs Jake to fly to Manila to help him out of a jam.  He's barely off the plane before he is lured by beautiful Mariella (Reyes) to an abandoned warehouse, where he is waylaid and abducted to Paradise, a private island owned by megalomaniac Su (Avellana).  Su has arranged a modern-day but just as corrupt version of ancient Roman gladiator battles, and has kidnapped professional fighters--boxing, karate, kickboxing and other martial-arts champions--from all over the world to compete in his games for the enjoyment of his wealthy friends.  Jake and his companions are to be pitted against Su's private army, which have been artificially enhanced with a new super-steroid developed by German mad scientist Dieter (Marius).

Readers of BLACKBELT and THE DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU magazines should get a real (ahem) kick out of BLOODFIST II, which offers a lot of fighting.  I doubt more than 5 or 6 minutes ever pass without Wilson or one of his friends getting into a battle with somebody, usually using their bare hands and feet, but sometimes grabbing a handy knife, staff, spear or sword.  Since much of the cast, including "The Dragon" (Wilson's homage to Bruce Lee extends to scripter Catherine Cyran's swiping of ENTER THE DRAGON's storyline), are actual martial-arts champions, the frequent fight scenes have an air of authenticity about them that help ground the comic-book plot in some sort of reality.  Not that you should take BLOODFIST II seriously, especially with Marius' diabolically campy performance screaming for attention, but for 84 minutes of straight-on martial-arts action, it fits the bill quite well.  Cyran didn't seem especially proud of it or her other screenplays for Roger Corman's Concorde when she was interviewed in SOME NUDITY REQUIRED.  Blumenthal, who handles the brisk pace and Wilson's thespic limitations rather well, doesn't seem to have directed another film.  Also with Timothy Baker, Rick Hill, Archie Ramirez, James Warring and Manny Sampson.  Music by Nigel Holton.  Corman handled the production duties personally.  BLOODFIST III, which abandoned the Jake Raye character, but kept Wilson as its leading man, came two years later.  Wes Craven and Stephen Tobolowsky are oddly created as "advisors."

BLOODFIST III: FORCED TO FIGHT (1992)--Directed by Oley Sassone.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Richard Roundtree, Rick Dean, Gregory McKinney.  After two BLOODFIST films set and shot in the Philippines, producer Roger Corman tossed out the previous formula and cast kickboxing champion Wilson in a prison picture affixed with the BLOODFIST name.  It's more than likely that director Sassone made a movie called FORCED TO FIGHT (the closing credits bear this out, by the way), and Corman added the BLOODFIST part to the title after the fact.  I don't think the film needs whatever promotional push was gained by making it part of the presumably lucrative BLOODFIST franchise, since it stands up pretty well on its own and is, in fact, better than the two previous entries.

Inmate Jimmy Boland (Wilson) quickly finds himself in hot water when he kills a brutal rapist and murderer named Luther in self-defense.  That his assailant was black makes the situation even worse for the half-Asian Boland in a concrete-surrounded world where racism is a way of life.  Out for revenge is Blue (McKinney), a buddy of Luther's whose drug trade is greatly diminished by the death of his supplier.  Boland also makes the shit list of white supremacist Wheelhead (Dean), who offers to accept Boland into his gang's ranks, despite Jimmy's Asian heritage, but feels disrespected when his offer is rebuffed.  Alone and awaiting a shiv in his back at any time, Boland finds a friend in Stark (Roundtree), a jailhouse lawyer of intelligence and quiet dignity whose age and skill against the appeals courts have earned him a reputation among the prisoners as an elder statesman of sorts.

What's most surprising about BLOODFIST III is the multi-layered screenplay by Allison Burnett (AUTUMN IN NEW YORK) and Charles Mattera, which attempts to address the issue of race in an exploitation-film setting while simultaneously creating characters that have slightly more depth than most Corman movies.  I don't want to give the impression that this is an art film, but there's more happening below the surface than any movie titled BLOODFIST III has the right to have.  The actors appear to have realized this, since even Wilson, never renowned for his dramatic skills or presence, appears more assured than usual.  Corman regular Dean also manages to add charm and even a shade of likableness to his Aryan brute, and Roundtree is outstanding, serving as mentor, priest, father figure and voice of reason to his fellow inmates, especially the black prisoners, whom he regards as victims of a White society.

Lest you start thinking BLOODFIST III slacks in the action department, let me assure you that Sassone has crafted a good number of fights and martial-arts battles choreographed by Paul Maslak, who worked on several other Wilson films as a writer, producer and stuntman.  As with the other BLOODFIST films, care was taken to provide "The Dragon" with worthy opponents, many of whom, like Peter "Sugarfoot" Cunningham, were authentic martial-arts champions.  While the fight scenes are about as good as they should be, it's the extra care and intelligence in other parts of the production that give BLOODFIST III its real meat.  The prisoners watch Jeanne Bell's notorious topless kung-fu scene from TNT JACKSON.  Also with Richard Paul (CARTER COUNTRY), Tony DiBenedetto, Charles Boswell and Paul Cardone.  Music by Nigel Holton.  Sassone later directed the still-unreleased THE FANTASTIC FOUR for Corman; his sister, Catya Sassoon, starred with Wilson in BLOODFIST IV.

BLOODFIST IV: DIE TRYING (1992)--Directed by Paul Ziller.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Amanda Wyss, Kale Browne.  By this point, executive producer Roger Corman had given up any pretext that the BLOODFIST movies should have any more in common than having World Lightweight Kickboxing Champion Wilson star in them.  This time, the friendly fighter plays Danny Holt, an L.A. repo man who accidentally repossesses the wrong BMW, this one belonging to a foreign agent named Weiss (soap actor Browne) who was carrying a box of chocolates in the front seat.  Danny delivers the candy to a female friend, not knowing that it camouflages nuclear warhead triggers that are being sold to a Middle Eastern country.  The body count is quite high, as Weiss and his goons murder everyone at Danny's car lot in an effort to retrieve the MacGuffin, and when they don't find it, chase him around the city, leaving more bodies in their wake.  Of course, the cops and the FBI believe Danny to be responsible for the spree killings; the only one who believes in his innocence is a total stranger, Shannon (Wyss).

Nobody, especially the colorless Wilson, can add much zest to this routine and quite cheap DTV martial-arts flick.  Ziller, who would later work with the Dragon again on MOVING TARGET, writes and directs with little flair, moving his characters from point A to point B with little visual flair or excitement.  Even the fight scenes, which were partially staged by Wilson, are of little interest.  Character actors James Tolkan (BACK TO THE FUTURE) as an intense FBI agent and Liz Torres (THE JOHN LARROQUETTE SHOW) as a heavy-eating detective impart as much impact as they can, but Ziller's slight material lets them down.  The striking Cat Sassoon, blessed with a hard body and exotically unusual features, plays an early story twist quite well and certainly makes her presence felt in the climax.  Still, BLOODFIST IV is quite a disappointment on the heels of the surprisingly solid BLOODFIST III.  Look for a longhaired Gary Daniels as one of Weiss' goons.  David and Eric Wurst drum up another quickie musical score.  Coming up next:  BLOODFIST V.  Can't you feel the anticipation?

BLOODFIST V: HUMAN TARGET (1993)--Directed by Jeff Yonis.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Denice Duff, Steve James.  Martial-arts buffs may relish this opportunity to see exploitation stars Wilson and James fighting each other.  The fine actor and stuntman James died of pancreatic cancer the year this was released, and while it isn't among his best credits, BLOODFIST V isn't the worst way to go out either.

Wilson is drabber than ever as an amnesiac who wakes up in the hospital and discovers a lot of people want to kill him.  He's rescued from the hospital by a prostitute named Candy (Duff) claiming to be his wife, who takes him to see her pimp (James).  From there, he encounters a friendly jewelry store clerk who places a $5000 bracelet on his tab, Chinese terrorists, renegade National Security Agency operatives, stolen plutonium and plenty of arm-breaking, face-kicking martial-arts battles.

To say much more about Yonis' twisty script would reveal too much, but suffice to say that many of the story elements I just listed turn out to be something else entirely, leaving us about as confused as Wilson.  Really, there are too many plot twists that don't hold water, and by the time the good guys have become the bad guys--again--you begin to feel that Yonis has gone too far.  Still, the pace is fast enough, Duff is attractive and holds her own in a fight, and there's more action--mild as it is--than in the last couple of BLOODFIST films.  Look for NYPD BLUE's Sharon Lawrence in her first film and SWITCHBLADE SISTERS gangsta Don Stark, currently on THAT '70s SHOW.  Also with Yuji Okumoto.  Music by David and Eric Wurst.  Some of executive producer Roger Corman's sets are uglier and cheaper than ever.  From the director of the HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP remake.

BLOODFIST VI: GROUND ZERO (1994)--Directed by Rick Jacobson.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Jonathan Fuller, Robin Curtis, Cat Sassoon.  Here's DIE HARD in a missile silo.  Bearing no resemblance to any of the first five BLOODFIST movies, Numero Seis stars Wilson as an Army courier who stumbles upon terrorist Fuller's plan to hijack a nuclear missile base and hold the world's largest cities for ransom.  Sgt. Nick Corrigan (Wilson) doesn't appear to be a highly respected soldier--his dispatcher calls him an idiot over the radio--but he reveals a few hidden talents when he is trapped inside the base with only Fuller's motley band of machine-gun-toting sycophants for company.  Since we already know Wilson is a real-life world kickboxing champion, no points for guessing that Corrigan is an ex-Secret Forces commando who was demoted for disobeying a direct order to abandon his men in a combat zone.

GROUND ZERO might be the cheapest BLOODFIST film yet.  Executive producer Roger Corman's excuse for a base is a guard booth set up next to what looks like a radio station transmitter, and the massive underground facility is really a couple of corridors and some rooms lined with chintzy electronics.  The fight scenes aren't up to Wilson's usual standards; not that he's Jackie Chan or anything, but the action isn't as fast or as brutal as it should be.  Jacobson demonstrates few directing chops, but he could have used a better cast--Fuller is over-the-top awful, but at least he shows some energy.  Curtis (Kirstie Alley's replacement in STAR TREK III) is dead wood as Wilson's outside contact, and Sassoon's best scene is a topless one.  Former L.A. Dodger Steve Garvey oddly appears as a brave Army major who gets to make out with a nearly nude Sassoon.  Also with Bert Remsen, Marcus Aurelius, Wynn Irwin and Leonard O. Turner.  Sassoon also fought the Dragon in BLOODFIST IV.  Wilson and Jacobson worked together four times in three years, including BLOODFIST VIII.

BLOODFIST VII: MANHUNT (1995)--Directed by Jonathan Winfrey.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Jillian McWhirter, Steven Williams.  The Dragon goes on the run in this decent direct-to-video thriller from the writers of Wilson's previous BLOODFIST entry.  Jim Trudell (Wilson) is framed for the murder of a police officer after he picks up--and is stranded by--a mysterious woman (the dependable McWhirter) in a biker bar.  Brendan Broderick and Rob Kerchner's story doesn't advance much further than that; as the subtitle implies, BLOODFIST VII is action all the way, staging car and foot chases all over the Los Angeles area.  It's unlikely Wilson has ever done more running than he does in this picture, leading police pursuers through Hollywood, Venice Beach and even the tried-and-true Los Angeles River basin.

While running from hard-nosed LAPD captain Doyle (Williams), Trudell discovers that the detectives he killed in self-defense were corrupt and providing protection for a gang of auto thieves.  The screenplay throws a couple of okay twists into the mix, but nothing particularly groundbreaking.  Winfrey uses Roger Corman's low budget to his best advantage, shooting on some interesting Venice locations and keeping the pace from flagging (he also cameos as an FBI agent).  While Wilson comes across as a nice guy as usual, his fight scenes suffer from routine choreography and fail to rouse much enthusiasm.  BLOODFIST VII is competent enough, I suppose, but when you compare it to the wild excitement of the PM Entertainment smashfests that fellow martial-arts champ Gary Daniels was starring in at the same time (coincidentally, Jillian McWhirter appeared in a couple of them too), Corman's New Horizons flicks are little better than timewasters.  Also with Mindy Seeger, Cyril O'Reilly, Rick Dean, Stephen Davies and Jonathan Penner.  Decent score by Elliot Anders and producer Mike Elliott.  Jim Wynorski receives a credit for "background extras".

BLOODFIST VIII: TRAINED TO KILL (1996)--Directed by Rick Jacobson.  Stars Don "The Dragon" Wilson, John Patrick White, Jillian McWhirter, Warren Burton, Donnie Hair.  This retread of TARGET and TRUE LIES was originally the 8th in Concorde/New Horizons' BLOODFIST series, all starring Wilson, but usually as different characters.  This time, he's high school teacher Rick Cowan, a single father of incorrigible 16-year-old Chris (White).  When a gang of assassins invades the Cowan home, forcing Rick to dispatch them in high-kicking style, Chris is exposed to the past he never knew his father had.  Turns out Rick is actually George Macready (!), an ex-CIA agent who must reteam with his old partner Danielle (McWhirter) and boss Michael Powell (Burton) to discover who's trying to kill him.  "Mac" and Chris, with Danielle alongside, travel to Ireland, where they hope to find some answers.

Besides the interesting choice of Ireland as a location, there isn't much to recommend.  None of the performers, including McWhirter, who has done much better work in similar DTV action movies, manage any color, humor or nuance from Alex Simon's paint-by-numbers screenplay, and the movie really suffers from the lack of a strong villain.  The father-son stuff has also been done better elsewhere.  And would ya believe it if I told you Powell's sidekick is named Emeric Pressburger (Hair)?  Also with Conor Nolan, Richard Farrell and John McHugh.  Roger Corman was executive producer.  From the director of BLOODFIST VI.  Also known as HARD WAY OUT.  Music by John Faulkner.

BLOODFIST 2050 (2005)—Directed by Cirio H. Santiago.  Stars Matt Mullins, Joe Sabatino, Beverly Lynne, Glen Meadows.  Roger Corman.  Cirio Santiago.  Kickboxers.  Post-apocalyptic setting.  Revenge plot.  Tons of violence and nudity.  It feels like 1984 all over again.  New Concorde’s BLOODFIST 2050 is the first of the nine-picture series to not star Don “The Dragon” Wilson.  This time, “five-time world martial arts champion” Mullins steps in to star in a loose remake of the original BLOODFIST.  Alex Danko (Mullins) arrives in seedy Los Angeles, where his brother was jumped and beaten to death in an alley outside a strip joint.  You pretty much know the rest--young kickboxer investigates murder of kickboxing champion brother, goes undercover, usual training sequences, has sex with hot stripper, lots of random fight scenes in and out of the ring.  The credits play over a futuristic car chase out of one of Cirio Santiago's '80s ROAD WARRIOR knockoffs, then that's the last we ever see of that part of 2050 society.  Once the credits end and Danko gets to L.A., society seems pretty normal, except there is an inordinately large Filipino population.  There is also a surprising amount of nudity in this movie, completely gratuitous, much of it provided by Lynne as Mullins’ blond love interest.  A lot of stock footage appears from previous Corman films; I think a pre-silicone Maria Ford appears as a stripper.  Beverly Lynne and the guy who plays Danko's comic-relief fighter sidekick (Meadows) are married softcore porn stars in real life. And it's good to see Joe Mari Avellana still appearing in and wearing several hats in these cheapjack productions (he also designed the crummy sets).

BLOODMATCH (1991)—Directed by Albert Pyun.  Stars Thom Mathews, Hope Marie Carlton.  Knowing it was directed by Pyun, I should have expected BLOODMATCH to be awful, but Big Al once again manages to exceed all expectations.  The video box promises a tale of a kickboxer fighting four other kickboxers to the death in a search to find his brother's killer. What we get instead is a very dull, talky and visually staid picture which could well have been shot in a week on one L.A. block. Every performance is terrible, and the fight scenes, when they come, are limp and suspenseless, even though they were choreographed by Benny "The Jet" Urquidez (who provides one of those terrible acting jobs). Mathews (FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI) and hot Hope Marie Carlton (HARD TICKET TO HAWAII) are the prime offenders. BLOODMATCH is so bad that, 15 minutes after it was over, I took the tape outside and dropped it in the garbage can.

BLOODSPORT (1987)--Directed by Newt Arnold.  Stars Jean-Claude Van Damme, Donald Gibb, Bolo Yeung, Leah Ayres, Forest Whitaker, Norman Burton.  Loosely based on the true story of Frank Dux, an American martial artist who became the first Westerner to win a secret fighting competition called the Kumite, although some historians believe Dux's tale to be a bit of a tall one.  Belgian ballet dancer Van Damme, in his first leading-man assignment, plays Dux, an Army captain who apparently goes AWOL to sneak into Hong Kong to compete.  There he befriends a fellow contestant, oafish American Ray Jackson (Gibb), and Janice (Ayres), a beautiful journalist trying to write a story on the Kumite.  He also makes the acquaintance of Chong Li (Yeung), a vicious psychopath who enjoys maiming and killing his opponents and who also happens to be the defending Kumite champion.  BLOODSPORT and Van Damme's follow-up, KICKBOXER, led to a great number of in-name-only sequels and ripoffs, including Roger Corman's BLOODFIST series, all eight of which starred Don "The Dragon" Wilson.  Arnold, who directed few films, keeps the pace moving well enough, staging, with the help of Dux, who served as the film's fight coordinator and Van Damme's trainer, several well-executed action scenes using a variety of fighting styles.  The supporting cast, which includes Burton and Whitaker as governmen