I liked this fun little movie, which gets off to a hilarious start during its opening credits, which feature slow-motion scenes of guys kicking the crap out of each other while a funky theme plays.  Iglehart and Washington have a charming and relaxed Nick-and-Nora chemistry between them, and the frequent comic relief doesn't come at the expense of the action, which is plentiful indeed.  It also doesn't overwhelm the comic book plot, which is reasonably resolved.  Director Gallardo was a protege of prolific Filipino filmmaker Cirio Santiago, who produced BAMBOO GODS and directed Iglehart in another movie the same year, SAVAGE.  One source claims Iglehart played for the Pittsburgh Pirates, but a glance at the BASEBALL ENCYCLOPEDIA confirms that nobody named "Iglehart", "Inglehart" or "Igleheart" ever played even a single inning in the major leagues.

BAMBOO HOUSE OF DOLLS (1973)--Directed by Chin Hung Kuei.  Stars Lo Lieh, Birte Tove, Hai Shu Li, Niki Wane, Terry Liu, Roska Rozen, Hsieh Wang.  This Shaw Brothers production is the first Hong Kong women-in-prison film I've ever seen, and it stands as one of the genre's most outstanding entries.  Lovingly photographed in "ShawScope" and boasting performances and production values well above those of its competition, BAMBOO HOUSE OF DOLLS is a delightfully sleazy and exciting action movie likely to appeal to drive-in fans.

During World War II, Japanese soldiers invade a Red Cross hospital in China, killing many of the men, including an American pilot, and capturing the women.  Among them are Jennifer (Danish actress Tove) and Hong Yulan (Li), whose husband passed on to her before his death the location of a cache of stolen gold, which is to be used to fund the underground movement fighting against the Japanese army.  Jennifer and Hong are taken to a concentration camp, which is run by Mako (Liu), the lesbian warden, where they are routinely raped, beaten, whipped and tortured.  In other words, insert typical WIP scenes here.  They make friends with other prisoners, including a blind girl and another American, Elizabeth (Wane), and hatch an escape plot calculated to lead them to the gold and turn it over to the Chinese guerrillas.  But, unbeknownst to them, Mako has planted a spy within their ranks.

Directed at a rapid pace and loaded with sex and violence, BAMBOO is a must-see for fans of the genre.  Kuei directs as though he'll never be allowed to make another film and wants to pack as much as possible into this one.  Everything from kung fu to killer snakes is sure to hold your attention, as well as scenes of surprising cruelty, such as a Japanese soldier who surrounds the blind girl with a floorful of broken glass or Mako's elaborate method of torturing information from Hong Yulan by placing heavy weights on her lap and forcing her feet into the air.  The use of daylight and location filming keeps BAMBOO from becoming claustrophobic, even though the second half's switch from WIP to women-on-the-run adds an extra element of adventure to the sleaze.  The actresses are certainly game, managing to actually eke out performances between shower scenes and whippings.

BANANAS (1971)--Directed by Woody Allen. Stars Woody Allen, Louise Lasser, Carlos Montalban, Charlotte Rae. From the days when Woody made really funny movies. This one stars Allen as Fielding Mellish, a milquetoast products tester who inexplicably finds himself as dictator of a Latin American country. Like many of Allen's early comedies, this is basically a series of gags and blackouts; some fall flat, but most are right on target. I love the scene where Woody tries to buy a porno magazine in a crowded bookstore without drawing attention to himself. Look for cameos by Howard Cosell and a young Sylvester Stallone.

BANDOLERO! (1968)--Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen. Stars Dean Martin, James Stewart, Raquel Welch, George Kennedy. A great cast, lovely Utah locations and a neat Jerry Goldsmith score make this a pleasant time-waster. Dee Bishop (Martin) and his gang are sprung from the hangman's noose by Dee's brother Mace (Stewart). They flee to Mexico using a beautiful Mexican woman (Welch) as a hostage, and are chased by obsessed sheriff July Johnson (Kennedy), who wants Raquel for himself. Unusual in that the outlaws become the film's heroes, and almost everybody dies at the end. Also with Andrew Prine, Will Geer, Clint Ritchie, Dub Taylor, Jock Mahoney (as Raquel's murdered rancher husband), Perry Lopez, Guy Raymond and John Mitchum. Screenplay by James Lee Barrett (SMOKEY & THE BANDIT).

THE BANKER (1989)--Directed by William Webb.  Stars Robert Forster, Duncan Regehr, Shanna Reed, Juan Garcia.  This sleazy crime drama suffers from poor scripting and too little action.  Forster is quite good, though, as Dan Jefferson, an L.A. Sheriff's Department detective assigned to both a new partner, green Eddie (Garcia), and the investigation of a high-priced call girl who was found slaughtered in a hotel room, murdered with a crossbow and mutilated by a killer who left a South American pagan symbol written with her blood on the wall.  Similar murders follow, which alert the eye of Forster's girlfriend, TV journalist Sharon Maxwell (Reed, who went on to the MAJOR DAD sitcom), whose abrasive commentaries raise the ire of the killer, a wealthy banker named Spaulding Osborne (Regehr).  Webb and screenwriter Dana Augustine clearly have little idea of how television news or police procedure work, which lends little suspense or verisimilitude to their story.  Beyond the many naked breasts, some lurid crime scenes and Forster's dogged performance, THE BANKER lives up to its bland title, offering not enough excitement to qualify for either action or horror, despite a few supernatural elements uncomfortably added to the climax.  Richard Roundtree appears in a thankless role as Forster's boss, while Leif Garrett and Jeff Conaway (attempting a laughable Texas accent) play pimps.  Also with Debi Richter, Teri Weigel, Michael Fairman and E.J. Peaker.  Music by Sam Winans and Reg Powell.  Filmed in Santa Monica.

BARB WIRE (1996)--Directed by David Hogan. Stars Pamela Anderson Lee, Xander Berkeley, Steve Railsback. BAYWATCH's resident blond bimbo, Pamela Anderson Lee, plays a screen version of the Dark Horse comic-book character in an eye-boggling procession of leather outfits. Lee is truly stunning in two aspects: the lack of any sort of acting talent and the immensity of her breasts. I'm not being glib here; it's impossible to describe Lee, her performance or this movie without commenting on her body. Attention is called to her breasts in virtually every shot. She is either backlit in an effort to focus the audience's attention upon them (which is not difficult to do), or they are constantly threatening to burst free from another piece of leather struggling to contain them. The film is a dull and confusing mishmash of elements swiped from CASABLANCA, believe it or not, with Pam in the Bogart role and Railsback (in a uniform vaguely resembling a Nazi stormtrooper's) filling in for Claude Rains. The action is slick, but nothing you haven't seen before. I'm not sure it matters. Those buying tickets for BARB WIRE are probably not interested in its story, but for the many shots of Pammy's pulchritude. They won't be disappointed, but you probably will be.

BARBARELLA (1968)--Directed by Roger Vadim. Stars Jane Fonda, John Philip Law, Milo O'Shea, Anita Pallenberg. Science fiction comedy based upon a French comic strip. Mostly of interest today because of Jane's revealing costumes and striptease over the opening credits. Futuristic plot involves a sexy astronaut (Fonda) and a blind winged angel (Law) teaming up to do battle with the evil Black Queen (Pallenberg). Despite the fast pace, bright colors, beautiful women, and sex, BARBARELLA really isn't too interesting. Fonda was married to the director at the time. I wonder if Ted Turner has ever seen it.

BARBARIAN (2003)--Directed by Henry Crum.  Stars Michael O’Hearn, Martin Kove, Irina Grigoryeva.  Executive producer Roger Corman reportedly used three directors in this confusing remake of DEATHSTALKER.  Former Mr. Universe O’Hearn steps in for Richard Hill as Kane, a warrior who is recruited to rescue a princess (Grigoryeva) from evil despot Munkar (a slumming Kove), who organizes a tournament of champions designed to kill off all of the villain’s possible foes and threats to his throne.  DEATHSTALKER screenwriter Howard R. Cohen receives no credit, even though BARBARIAN follows his plot very closely.  The film shows signs of post-production stress, which may explain why stock footage from DEATHSTALKER (including Barbi Benton’s nude scene) and the 30-year-old THE ARENA is used to fill in narrative gaps.  It’s certainly one of the few, if not the only, American production to be filmed in Crimea.

BARBARIAN QUEEN (1985)--Directed by Hector Olivera.  Stars Lana Clarkson, Frank Zagarino, Katt Shea.  Anyone curious about the career of '80s B-movie queen Clarkson, who was shot to death in Phil Spector's Hollywood mansion in 2003, should start with this trashy Roger Corman production lensed in Argentina (as were many other Corman flicks of the era, including DEATHSTALKER II).  As with CONAN THE BARBARIAN and a million other sword-and-sandal movies, the titular Amethea (Clarkson) swears vengeance against the pillagers who wiped out her village and snatched her fiancé (Zagarino), so she trains an army of warrior hotties and storms the palace of the evil tyrannical king.  In between the massive amounts of sword-swinging violence and sweaty nude bodies, including Clarkson's quite impressive one, there's not much here, but with a running time of barely an hour and ten minutes, you don't need much more.  Shea surprisingly became a prolific director, starting with Corman fare like STRIPPED TO KILL and advancing to studio features like THE RAGE: CARRIE 2.  Clarkson returned in BARBARIAN QUEEN II.  Some of James Horner's BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS music is reprised here, and I suspect credited composer Christopher Young's score has appeared elsewhere too.

BARBARIAN QUEEN II (THE EMPRESS STRIKES BACK) (1989)—Directed by Joe Finley.  Stars Lana Clarkson, Alejandro Bracho, Roger Cudney.  Buxom blond B-movie queen Clarkson returned to her most famous role in this lightweight adventure that delivers more of the same.  In fact, since the first movie boasted a memorable scene in which Clarkson is stripped naked and tortured on a rack, the sequel gives us two of them.  Executive producer Roger Corman keeps the nudity and gore flowing as Clarkson’s Princess Athalia (a different character this time) teams up (again) with rebel forces (most of them Amazonian hotties) to invade the evil ruler’s castle and reclaim her rightful seat on the throne.  There’s a magical sword that only Athalia can use, though she never does, and Finley’s idea of direction is to point the camera at a bunch of Mexican extras and let them whale away on each other with rubber swords.  Hey, it works for me.  BQII is too short to be boring, and, despite its subtitle, it isn’t campy like DEATHSTALKER II (or as good).

THE BARBARIANS (1987)--Directed by Ruggero Deodato.  Stars The Barbarian Brothers, Richard Lynch, Eva LaRue, Virginia Bryant, Michael Berryman, George Eastman.  This Italian-lensed sword-and-sorcery flick is among Cannon's most lunkheaded pictures, but is no less enjoyable because of it.  An evil warlord named Kadar (Lynch) attacks a traveling company of entertainers led by Canary (Bryant).  The well-shot action sequence climaxes with two twin brothers chomping Kadar's fingers off.  Obviously pissed off, he orders their executions until Canary steps up to bargain with Kadar, agreeing to any of his sordid desires as long as he lets the kids live.  So she becomes one of his love slaves, and the boys are separated and placed in slave camps run by the vicious Dirtmaster (Berryman).  Years later, the twins, Kutchek and Gore, portrayed by giant mullet-headed slabs calling themselves The Barbarian Brothers (actually real-life twins David and Peter Paul), are reunited and set out to rescue Canary and bring down Kadar's reign.  They team up with a sexy warrior named Kara (LaRue) to fight plenty of low-budget terrors, like a wolfman, a dragon and an arm-wrestler (Eastman).  It's all played for slapstick comedy too, as the twins bicker, make strange grunting noises and have a pretty good time battling in Deodato's strange universe.  Cannon hack James Silke (REVENGE OF THE NINJA) concocted the screenplay, which moves quickly enough to be considered a good time for action fans looking for an unpretentious good time.  Pino Donaggio delivers a nifty score.

BARBERSHOP (2002)--Directed by Tim Story.  Stars Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer, Sean Patrick Thomas, Keith David, Eve.  Like the drive-in, full-service gas stations and private eye dramas on television, barbershops are becoming relics of the past, victims of a new SuperCuts culture and a politically correct climate that discourages segregation of the sexes.  Barbershops were almost exclusively male, a place where you could not only get a haircut, but also glean some measure of community and family, hear the latest gossip, talk sports, and be subjected to the foulest language and scatological jokes this side of a Martin Lawrence concert.

At least one such place still exists, at least in Movieland.  Calvin's on the South Side of Chicago is as much a local hangout as a place of business.  Established by Calvin's family in 1958, he took it over when his father died two years ago.  A dreamer who has squandered thousands of dollars on various get-rich schemes, Calvin (Ice Cube) now faces foreclosure by the bank if he's unable to come up with his property tax.  With a pretty, pregnant wife (Jazsmin Lewis), an idea to transform his basement into a hi-tech recording studio, and a fantasy of owning Oprah's five-bedroom guesthouse, Calvin decides one Saturday morning to sell his shop to the local kingpin, Lester Wallace (Keith David), for $20,000.  As the day continues, Calvin starts having second thoughts, as he begins to realize the importance of the barbershop to the odd collection of eccentrics and employees who populate his establishment.

And an eclectic bunch they are.  There's Eddie (Cedric the Entertainer), the old-timer who holds court in his chair daily, pontificating his unpopular views of black heroes like Rosa Parks and Jesse Jackson and mumbling malapropisms under his breath.  Jimmy (Sean Patrick Thomas) is the college-educated barber with the annoying habit of condescending to the less educated members of the troupe.  Terri (rapper Eve) is the only woman of the group, a sassy sexpot with a cheating boyfriend.  There's also Dinka (Leonard Earl Howze), a West African; two-time loser Ricky (Michael Ealy); and Isaac Rosenberg (Jane Fonda's son Troy Garity), a soul man in a white Jew's body.

The entire movie takes place in a single day, and as if there aren't enough characters and subplots to keep you busy, a side story concerns the efforts of a pair of bumbling crooks (Anthony Anderson and Lahmard Tate) to break into the ATM machine they swiped from a convenience store the night before.  Add a dash of upbeat urban tunes and sprinkle some warm homilies about old-fashioned values and race relations, and what you have is a CAR WASH for the 21st century, an amiably gushy look into a day in the life of a city barbershop populated with colorful characters who, despite their differences, form a family unit.

Although the talk is less ribald than you'd experience in a real barbershop (sacrificed to acquire the Almighty PG-13, I suppose), BARBERSHOP is a sharply written and performed ensemble piece that may not be ultimately deep, but gives off such a warm feeling you probably won't care.  As the straight man of the bunch, Ice Cube lends the film the all-important dramatic weight it needs to hold everything together.  He doesn't have many punchlines, but as Bob Newhart could tell you, a movie that contains this many zany characters won't work without a rock for them to bounce off of and anchor to.  With the right blend of quiet desperation, street attitude and neighborly morality, Ice Cube even holds his own opposite the coolly sinister David, who uses his shark-like charm to steal most of the scenes in which he appears.  The most nimble-fingered thief on display, though, is Cedric the Entertainer as outspoken Eddie.  Playing a good 25 years beyond his own age and adorned with a gray-streaked Don King wig, Cedric exhibits comic timing that would impress Jack Benny, rattling off a series of insults, platitudes and "back-in-the-day" observations guaranteed to make you scream in laughter.

At the end of BARBERSHOP's busy day, all is normal and everybody is happy, the way it should be.  Unlike many contemporary comedies, BARBERSHOP is relatively sedate, drawing its laughs from human situations and character, rather than a series of raucous setpieces and penis jokes.  The people who populate it seem real to us.  We like them and root for them.  And we feel good when they succeed, just as director Tim Story and his cast and crew have.

BARBERSHOP 2: BACK IN BUSINESS (2004)--Directed by Kevin Rodney Sullivan.  Stars Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer.  There has never been a television sitcom about a barbershop. That surprises me, since it would seem to be an obvious setting, allowing for a wide range of interpersonal relationships within the workplace, while occasionally focusing on a neighbor, customer or just a passerby on the street.  MGM is on the right track with its BARBERSHOP franchise, which isn't a TV series, but probably should be.

Give credit to star and co-producer Ice Cube for making BARBERSHOP 2 the congenial comedy that it is. Not only is his quietly keen performance as shop owner Calvin the straw that stirs the personalities of the disparate types who inhabit his character's shop, but his Cube Vision company also made a wise decision to provide zesty, often riotous humor without stooping to scatology as its basis.  Another decision that probably seemed smart at the time was to provide Cedric the Entertainer, as politically incorrect old-timer Eddie, with more screen time, including a backstory that reveals how the blustery pontificator came to work at Calvin's, as well as a thinly sketched romance with Loretta (Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon), whom he met on the El in the 1970's.  Like pepper, though, Eddie is a character that works best in small doses. Hearing him riff on Vin Diesel and the Washington, D.C. sniper ("the Jackie Robinson of crime") is funny; learning his origin story, not so much.

Calvin is in danger of losing his shop again, this time to Big Business in the form of cigar-chomping slickster Leroux (Harry Lennix) and corrupt Chicago alderman Brown (Robert Wisdom), who plan to open an opulent Nappy Cutz chain store directly across the street. More concerned with the welfare of his employees, who include sassy Terri (Eve), innocent African Dinka (Leonard Earl Howze), ex-con Ricky (Michael Ealy), token white Isaac (Troy Garity) and garish newcomer Kenard (Kenan Thompson), than with selling out to Leroux's developers, Calvin again finds himself battling the Man to keep his family together.

Although BARBERSHOP 2 isn't as funny or filling as it should be, it's more entertaining than many comedies that aim higher, thanks to its good-natured tone and familiar cast of regulars, all of whom would be welcome guests in my living room.  I wonder if the networks are paying attention.  Also with Sean Patrick Thomas, Jazsmin Lewis, Jackie Taylor, Javon Jackson and Tom Wright.  Queen Latifah's broad cameo sets up BEAUTY SHOP, a BARBERSHOP spinoff that she'll star in later this year.  Music by Richard Gibbs.

BARE KNUCKLES (1977)--Directed by Don Edmonds. Stars Robert Viharo, Sherry Jackson, Michael Heit. Viharo plays Zachary Kane, a monosyllabic bounty hunter with a mustache whos chasing a wealthy psycho (Heit) who likes to wear a leather hood while stabbing beautiful women. Of course, it's all because of his incestuous relationship with his promiscuous mother. That's really all there is to BARE KNUCKLES as far as plot is concerned, but director Edmonds throws in so many chases, stunts, stalkings and bloody punchouts that you certainly won't be bored. Jackson, formerly a child actress who appeared in Danny Thomas's MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY series and contributed a memorable guest turn on STAR TREK as a sexy android in blue-and-brown suspenders and jumpsuit, is beautiful in a nothing role as a woman who inexplicably falls in love with Viharo's boorish, macho character at first sight. Edmonds, who also wrote and produced, has scripted some of the stupidest dialogue--almost every conversation consists of terse non sequiturs passed back and forth between two characters--and most clichéd characters you've ever seen, which actually adds to the appeal of this action-packed picture. The silly faux-funky score by Vic Caesar will probably make you laugh out loud, and if you love to see cars smash into empty cardboard boxes, unrelated scenes taking place in the same obviously and ineptly redressed locations, boom-mike reflections, and kung-fu battles between actors who obviously don't know the first thing about martial-arts, BARE KNUCKLES is definitely for you. Also with Gloria Hendry, who appears to have retired from features after this, and John Daniels, whose small bit as a black action hero seems to have been added in order to get playdates in inner cities. Production designer J. Michael Riva and cinematographer Dean Cundey went on to major studio fare like APOLLO 13, JURASSIC PARK, LETHAL WEAPON and CONGO. From the director of the first two (and sleaziest) ILSA movies, who was also a regular on PETTICOAT JUNCTION!

BARELY LEGAL (2005)—Directed by David Mickey Evans.  Stars Erik von Detten, Tony Denman, Daniel Farber, Sarah-Jane Potts, Amy Smart, Horatio Sanz.  You wouldn’t expect the director of THE SANDLOT and RADIO FLYER to be making a movie called NATIONAL LAMPOON PRESENTS BARELY LEGAL, but I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did either.  I didn’t love it, but watching it on cable on a boring Saturday afternoon, as I did, certainly won’t kill you.  It’s amusing, lively, and nowhere near as smutty as a synopsis would lead you to believe. 

Three high school virgins (von Detten, Denman and Farber) decide to make some extra money by producing a porn film in von Detten’s basement.  Their gimmick is “made for virgins by virgins,” and they earn back their original investment a hundredfold by selling preorders online.  Now, they just have to shoot the damn movie, which is very difficult when you have to keep it a secret from von Detten’s parents, his new girlfriend (Smart) and the entire school, as well as evil porno king Sanz (looking like Ron Jeremy), who wants to put a stop to his new competition. 

The sex scenes are tastefully presented, and Evans and writer David H. Steinberg’s porn-film-within-the-film spoofing is funny.  Of course, the young actors look too old to be in high school (doesn’t it seem as though Smart has been playing high schoolers for a decade?), but that may actually help the subject matter come off less creepy.  Tom Arnold and Dey Young lend support as von Detten’s folks, along with Riley Smith (DAWSON’S CREEK), Cameron Richardson (SUPERCROSS), Samm Levine (FREAKS AND GEEKS), Vince Vieluf and Sanz’s SNL buds Rachel Dratch and Chris Parnell.  Evans shot this as AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL right after lensing direct-to-video BEETHOVEN sequels, but it sat on the shelf for two years until National Lampoon slapped its label on it and gave it a more marketable title.  It even played for two weeks in fewer than two dozen theaters.  Onscreen title:  NATIONAL LAMPOON PRESENTS BARELY LEGAL.

BARON BLOOD (1972)--Directed by Mario Bava. Stars Joseph Cotten, Elke Sommer, Antonio Cantafora, Massimo Girotti. Originally released Stateside by American-International Pictures with eight minutes shorn of its running time, this effective horror film from Italian filmmaker Bava can now be seen on DVD in its original uncensored glory.

Cantafora plays Peter Kleist, an American graduate student vacationing in Austria, where he plans to research his sadistic ancestor, Baron Otto von Kleist, who tortured and murdered hundreds of villagers before his own fiery death 500 years before. Meeting up with his mother's brother Karl Hummel (Girotti), a professor studying psychic phenomena, and the beautiful Eva Arnold (Sommer), an architecture student supervising the restoration of the Barons formidable castle, Peter, reading from an ancient scroll found in his familys belongings, proceeds to bring the Baron back to life, where he promptly begins a new killing spree. Cotten, who finally appears approximately 45 minutes into the film and has a delight hamming it up, portrays a wealthy cripple named Alfred Becker, who buys the Baron's castle at an auction, and may have a sinister motive behind the purchase.

As in many Italian horror films, the plot and performances are not nearly as important as the stylish cinematography and splashy special effects. Bava, who almost always photographed the films he directed, throws in all sorts of kinky camera angles, moody lighting effects, and creepy set decoration to establish a strong horrific atmosphere. BARON BLOOD's major setpiece, involving the slouch-hatted killer's pursuit of Eva through fog-banked Austrian streets, is marvelously filmed by Bava, who also took advantage of location filming in an actual castle, which provides a myriad of fascinating rooms, passages and angles. He also took great care to suggest the resurrected Baron's horribly scarred features through shadow--not because the makeup is shoddy (indeed, the quick glimpses Bava allows us prove the makeup is quite effective), but rather to subtly suggest the horror rather than throwing it right into our face. The gore effects are pretty tame by today's standards, but one victim's death in a spiked coffin could still raise some hairs on the back of ones neck.

Also with Rada Rassimov, Umberto Raho and Luciano Pigozzi (normally billed in America as Alan Collins) as an imbecilic handyman named Fritz, as well as a very clever and amusing product placement for Coca-Cola. Stelvio Cipriani's (PIRANHA II) effectual score ranges from lively lounge pop to organ music to electric guitar. Alfredo Leone, who wisely allowed Bava carte blanche to make the film the way he wanted, teamed up with the director again a year later for the arguably better LISA AND THE DEVIL, which was again butchered by its American distributor and released as an EXORCIST ripoff called HOUSE OF EXORCISM.

BARQUERO (1970)—Directed by Gordon Douglas.  Stars Lee Van Cleef, Warren Oates, Forrest Tucker.  Violent Vietnam allegory attractively lensed in Colorado by STAR TREK’s Gerald Finnerman.  Influenced in tone by Italian westerns, BARQUERO is directed by journeyman Douglas (THE DETECTIVE), who does a solid job shooting action and getting sturdy performances from his macho leads, but is no visual stylist, to be sure.  Film is a Mexican standoff between vicious killer Oates and his gang and ferryman Van Cleef.  After murdering and looting an entire town, Oates plans to use Van Cleef’s hand-built ferry to traverse a deep river into Mexico.  Van Cleef learns of Oates’ scheme and moves his ferry, along with all the American squatters, to the other side of the river, leaving Oates huffing and puffing.  It would seem as though Van Cleef has the upper hand, since the nearest bridge is 100 miles away, but instead of just hanging tight until the Cavalry comes, the plot forces Lee and mountain man pal Tucker to keep the action moving.  The parallels to Vietnam are unmistakable and lend a special quality to this bloody western.  Surprisingly, BARQUERO has never been released on VHS or DVD in the United States, despite its violent content and name cast.  Also with Kerwin Matthews, Mariette Hartley, Maria Gomez, John Davis Chandler, and Craig Littler (JASON OF STAR COMMAND).  Catchy, bombastic score by Dominic Frontiere.

BASIC INSTINCT (1992)--Directed by Paul Verhoeven. Stars Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, Jeanne Tripplehorn. This big-budget erotic thriller was a major box-office success, mostly because of the many graphic sex scenes involving Sharon Stone, who became a major movie star after struggling in Hollywood for over a decade. Burnt-out San Francisco detective Douglas investigates the bloody icepick murder of a rock star, and becomes sexually involved with suspect number uno: an icy blond cigarette-smoking mystery writer played by Stone. The mystery has too many red herrings and doesn't really make a lot of sense, but director Verhoeven shows no restraint in delivering plenty of sex, slashings and nudity. Film received much publicity upon its initial release because of its controversial portrayal of homosexuals and a fleeting glimpse of Sharon's genitals. Tripplehorn also has a nude scene, and even Douglas, in the "director's cut" videocassette, shows a bit more than we are accustomed to in our leading men. Also with George Dzundza, Leilani Sarelle, Wayne Knight ("Hello, Newman.") and Dorothy Malone. Music by Jerry Goldsmith. Screenplay by Joe Esterhaus; he and Verhoeven later reunited for the flop SHOWGIRLS.

THE BAT PEOPLE (1974)--Directed by Jerry Jameson. Stars Stewart Moss, Marianne McAndrew, Michael Pataki, Paul Carr. Dull horror flick made for theatrical release by television veterans. A scientist (Moss) and his wife (McAndrew) go spelunking in a cave, where Moss is bitten by a bat. For some stupid reason that the movie chooses not to go into, he intermittently transforms into a vampire bat-man, and runs around a small Southwestern community killing people and drinking their blood. He's pursued by a brutal, perverted deputy (Pataki). The only real reason to watch it is to see the special makeup effects by future Oscar-winner Stan Winston, which really aren't all that special; when we finally see Moss in bat-man form, he looks more like a hairy ape than a bat. Moss and McAndrew (who were married in real life) have dozens of episodic TV credits to their names, as do Pataki and Carr, who plays a swinging doctor. Jameson has done a few features (usually bad ones), but directs mainly made-for-TV flicks. Writer/producer Lou Shaw's credits include QUINCY, M.E., THE FALL GUY and BEYOND WESTWORLD. Also with Arthur Space, Robert Berk, Bonnie Van Dyke and Pat Delaney. Dopey score is by Artie Kane.

BAT 21 (1988)--Directed by Peter Markle. Stars Gene Hackman, Danny Glover, Jerry Reed. Hackman is a deskbound Air Force colonel who is shot down behind enemy lines during the Vietnam War. Because of the danger involved, the Americans can't send a rescue party after him. Pilot Glover helps maneuver Hackman into friendly territory from the air. Good scene involves Hackman's emotions after taking the life of an enemy soldier for the first time, despite a career in the Armed Forces. Both leads work well together, even though they don't appear on screen together until the end. Reed gives good support in an atypical role for him. Based on a true story.

BATMAN (1943)--Directed by Lambert Hillyer. Stars Lewis Wilson, Douglas Croft, J. Carroll Naish, Shirley Patterson. This 15-chapter serial from Columbia is notable as the Dynamic Duo's first screen appearance. Wilson and Croft are serviceable as the Caped Crusaders, but Naish steals the show as the villainous Dr. Daka, a Japanese agent who brainwashes men to do his bidding. The frequent Jap-bashing has dated this cliffhanger badly, but there's plenty of action and derring-do to hold your interest. William Austin is Alfred. The only serial by the director of THE INVISIBLE RAY.

BATMAN (1966)--Directed by Leslie H. Martinson. Stars Adam West, Burt Ward, Frank Gorshin, Burgess Meredith, Cesar Romero, Lee Meriwether. Fun adventure based on the campy '60s TV classic. Batman (West) and Robin (Ward) battle the Riddler (Gorshin), Penguin (Meredith), Joker (Romero), and Catwoman (Meriwether in for Julie Newmar). Features the Batcave, Batmobile, Batcycle, Batboat--even Bat-Shark Repellent! With TV regulars Alan Napier, Neil Hamilton, Stafford Repp and Madge Blake. Script by Lorenzo Semple, Jr. Score by Nelson Riddle; theme by Neil Hefti.

BATMAN (1989)--Directed by Tim Burton. Stars Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Michael Gough. Way overrated comic-book movie became one of the biggest box-office hits ever. Millionaire Bruce Wayne (Keaton) becomes superhero Batman, and battles the evil Joker (Nicholson). Critics took Keaton to town, saying the slightly built comic actor was miscast as an action hero, but the script gives him so little to do that no male lead would have been anything other than wooden. On the other hand, Nicholson's performance is way over-the-top; the Joker becomes more of a clownish figure than a frightening one. Director Burton has no idea how to direct an action scene. A dull and pretentious affair featuring excellent Oscar-winning sets by Anton Furst. Also with Pat Hingle as Commissioner Gordon, Billy Dee Williams, Jack Palance and Mick Jagger's wife Jerry Hall. Script by Sam Hamm and Warren Skaaren. Music by Danny Elfman. Songs by Prince. "Batdance" was a big hit. Besides STAR WARS, probably the most-merchandised film of them all.

It's the action sequences that disappoint though, as Nolan films everything much too tight and cuts too quickly. Maybe that's what you get when you cast actors who can't fight, but it's hard to be impressed by Batman's stature as the world's preeminent martial artist when you can't see what he's doing or follow his moves. I'm not sure the film wouldn't have been served better by casting an actor who could fight and a director who's a better craftsman than Nolan. Personally, I'd like to see Mark Dacascos of DRIVE and BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF as Batman and someone who specializes in action pictures to direct him, perhaps John Glen, who made several James Bond pictures.

BATMAN FOREVER (1995)--Directed by Joel Schumacher. Stars Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell. Second sequel in the box-office booming super-hero series has a new Batman, a new director, two hammy new villains and Robin the Boy Wonder. Val Kilmer takes over for Michael Keaton as the Caped Crusader, who is pressed into action once again to save Gotham City from the clutches of Two-Face (Jones) and the Riddler (Carrey in hyper Frank Gorshin mode). Along the way, Batman and his alter ego Bruce Wayne find themselves longing for supersexy nymphomaniac psychiatrist Dr. Chase Meridian (Kidman) and coping with his new ward, circus acrobat Dick Grayson (O'Donnell). The first two BATMAN films, under the direction of Tim Burton, were dark, murky, and filled with macabre humor. This time, director Schumacher (THE CLIENT) chose to emphasize the fun side of the comic-book world. This is a real action-adventure, filled with stunts, action and great Bat-gadgetry. As usual for this series, the plot is wafer-thin (something to do with manipulating brainwaves, but details are a bit sketchy), there's one villain too many (Jones's Two-Face is intrinsically more interesting and poses more dramatic possibilities), O'Donnell is too old and too bland as Robin, and Kidman's character is one-dimensional. However, none of these details stand in the way of a good old-fashioned super-hero romp. Michael Gough and Pat Hingle return as Alfred the butler and Commissioner Gordon. Also with Drew Barrymore, Debi Mazar, Rene Auberjonois (in a "Tim Burton" cameo) and Don "The Dragon" Wilson. Music by Eliott Goldenthal. Makeup by Rick Baker. John Dykstra supervised the visual effects.

BATMAN RETURNS (1992)--Directed by Tim Burton. Stars Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Michael Gough. Keaton returns as the Caped Crusader, this time battling the combined villainy of the Penguin (DeVito) and Catwoman (Pfeiffer). More action and humor make this sequel better than the original, but still disappointing. Pfeiffer gives a very erotic performance as the leather-clad Catwoman, and probably deserved an Oscar nomination. Gough reprises his role as Bruce Wayne's faithful butler Alfred, and Pat Hingle has a scene as Commissioner Gordon. Also with Michael Murphy, Jan Hooks, Vincent Schiavelli, Christi Conaway, Stuart Lancaster (from Russ Meyer movies) and Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee Herman) in small roles. Daniel Waters wrote it; Danny Elfman scored it. Stan Winston provided the Penguin's makeup. Kickboxer Kathy Long doubled Pfeiffer.