Bradley, who also played a fireman in Fox's shortlived L.A. FIREFIGHTERS series, is Jack Thomas, a firefighter who gets laid up in the hospital after rescuing a young boy from a burning house.  After an explosion at the nearby oil refinery owned by oily Wendell Mays (Arnold) plunges the entire city into flames, the hospital, also owned by Mays and anxious to keep patients with inadequate health plans from checking in, much to the consternation of compassionate doctor Jennifer Lewis (Pays), is overrun with burn victims.  Meanwhile, Jack's estranged brother Andy (Poindexter) also becomes a patient--a terminal one--when he's injured while investigating unsafe conditions at the Mays refinery and in possession of evidence that will prove wrongdoing by Mays and the mayor.  The conflagration eventually grows so massive that an impending firestorm causes the hospital's evacuation, which is acerbated by a pregnant woman giving birth and the fire trucks' hoses not being long enough to reach the hospital doors (!), inducing the hospital's staff and patients to run a gauntlet to safety.

Steve Latshaw's screenplay is even more schizophrenic than I've described, frequently introducing gratuitous characters whose only value is to die on camera or match stock footage from other fire flicks.  Second-billed Ice-T pops up during the precredits sequence for a car chase swiped from STRIKING DISTANCE that has nothing to do with the rest of the movie.  Dudikoff, in an uncharacteristic supporting role, is solid as Bradley's second-in-command.  TV vets Cathy Lee Crosby (THAT'S INCREDIBLE), Pat Harrington (ONE DAY AT A TIME) and Mary Jo Catlett (DIFF'RENT STROKES) are welcome sights in the hospital scenes, while a puffy Edward Albert huffs on cue as the supercilious mayor.  I was unable to identify the other clips used besides STRIKING DISTANCE, but the vintage '70s automobiles and grainy stock indicate that perhaps some are from CITY ON FIRE. 

As usual in the Wynorskiverse, logic and common sense play second fiddle to wrapping on time and budget.  The concept of the firemen's hoses not being able to reach the hospital is screwy enough, but when you see the survivors running away from the building, which is said to be at the end of a cul-de-sac, the street looks like Brooklyn circa 1956 (the scenes were, in fact, filmed on the Universal backlot's Old New York Street).  And I'm not sure what kind of law-enforcement strategy sends a fireman and a lone detective on a stakeout to capture an arsonist in broad daylight.  Ah, what's the use?  Wynorski would probably be the first to admit that he has little use for continuity and plot logic when they stand in the way of a good action scene or breast shot (strangely, Wynorski's fetish for silicone-breasted women seems to go unheeded in his more recent action/adventures).

Also with Melissa Brasselle, Richard Biggs, Billy Zabka, Carolyn Seymour and Michael Cavanaugh.  The 20th Century Fox DVD is ridiculously high-priced, up to $32.99 at Best Buy and $27.99 at Circuit City.  In addition to the feature in a 1.85:1 format and 5.1 stereo mix, it contains a few okay filmographies for Wynorski (billed under his "Jay Andrews" pseudonym), Bradley, Ice-T, Pays, Dudikoff and Arnold and a 60-second trailer.  Wynorski and Latshaw team up for an audio commentary that lacks the bite and candor of previous Wynorski tracks for RANGERS, GALE FORCE, FINAL VOYAGE and others.  They appear to be having fun joking about the movie, but don't come clean concerning the footage taken from other films.  While they don't come right out and say all the footage is theirs, they do imply it in a tongue-in-cheek manner.  I wondered why Dudikoff (who played the heavy in the Wynorski/Latshaw GALE FORCE) was playing the buddy part, when he might better have been cast in Bradley's role, but the reason goes unmentioned by the filmmakers.  There's still some good material concerning locations, actors and visual effects, but, in general, the commentary is not up to Wynorski's usual rollicking standards.

ABOMINABLE (2006)—Directed by Ryan Schifrin.  Stars Matt McCoy, Jeffrey Combs, Lance Henriksen, Christien Tinsley, Rex Linn, Dee Wallace Stone, Phil Morris, Paul Gleason.  This sleeper received favorable reviews but hardly any theatrical play before debuting, more or less, on the Sci-Fi Channel.  If you ignored it, thinking it was akin to the Sci-Fi Channel’s never-ending display of stupid, cheap monster flicks, take a look at it.  The debut feature of film school graduate Schifrin, who recruited his father, legendary composer Lalo Schifrin (of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE and DIRTY HARRY fame) to do the score, ABOMINABLE deftly combines REAR WINDOW with FRIDAY THE 13TH to form an old-fashioned creature feature with heavy dollops of gore, suspense and recognizable genre veterans.

On the advice of his physician, Preston Rogers (McCoy) returns to the mountain cabin where he was living when he and his wife were involved in a tragic mountain-climbing accident that killed her and left him permanently disabled from the waist down.  Adding to his reluctance to go back to the empty home that carries sad memories is his nonchalantly neglectful staff-assigned caretaker, Otis (Tinsley, the film’s special makeup effects artist making his acting debut).  Otis temporarily leaves to pick up some groceries, leaving Preston with little to do but watch his neighbors:  five sexy young women enjoying a bachelorette weekend.  Depressed from the accident and numb from the meds prescribed by his doctor, Preston’s will to live is rejuvenated in a highly unusual manner when he witnesses what he believes to be a monster of some sort abduct one of the girls.  Analogous to the fabled Sasquatch, this ain’t no HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS cuddly.  Whatever it is, it’s mean, strong and awfully hungry, as it rips through most of the cast, leaving the wheelchair-bound Preston and blond Amanda (Joel), one of the neighbors, to fend it off.

Little about ABOMINABLE is original or especially clever—Schifrin’s DVD commentary is a laundry list of his influences, including Romero, Spielberg, Raimi, Lucas and many other filmmakers—but it’s assembled quite well and relies on old-school makeup effects and good performances to earn its scares.  McCoy, well cast in the James Stewart role, spends much of his screen time alone, staring out a window or typing on his computer keyboard.  Despite the handicaps placed upon him as a result of his character’s incapacities, McCoy manages to express the right emotional beats and eventually teams up with Joel as an active, not a passive, hero.  Adding delightful color to the proceedings is a roster of character actors instantly recognizable to fans of this type of film, including Dee Wallace Stone (THE HOWLING) and Rex Linn as a couple terrorized by the creature, Jeffrey Combs (RE-ANIMATOR) as a redneck store clerk, Paul Gleason (THE BREAKFAST CLUB) as a jerk sheriff, Phil Morris (whose father, Greg Morris, was a regular on MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE) as a deputy, and Lance Henriksen, who worked one day, as a gung-ho hunter who faces the creature while armed with a shotgun.

Most of the film takes place on one location, but Schifrin keeps the camera moving and the setups looking natural.  Thankfully, he refrains from gimmicky cinematography and Avid farts, allowing the woody atmosphere and creepy nighttime shooting to provide suspense.  It also helps that his monster is a well-constructed man-in-a-suit Bigfoot that looks convincing even in close-ups.  Seen only fleetingly in the early-going, the monster, created by Tinsley and played by 6’8” Mike Deak, is an impressive achievement even later in the picture, when Schifrin shows it from head-to-toe performing several chases and stunts.  Its perpetually angry expression perhaps strains disbelief, although the monster’s physical resemblance to Jack Elam (!) seems too obvious to be coincidental.

Also of consequence is Lalo Schifrin’s fully orchestral score, which is rich and suspenseful and adds immeasurably to ABOMINABLE’s goosebump quotient.  Why he isn’t working more often on studio features is one of Hollywood’s most unfortunate mysteries.  The music certainly adds class to the occasionally exploitative goings-on, which includes some surprisingly grisly gore (particularly a shot of the monster biting a victim’s face off) and even a welcome shower scene performed by Tiffany Shepis.  ABOMINABLE appears to be a monster movie made for horror fans with a fondness for the old-fashioned.  Also with Karin Anna Cheung, Natalie Compagno, Ashley Hartman and Chad Smith.  Gleason died of lung cancer just after ABOMINABLE opened; it was his last film.

THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971)--Directed by Robert Fuest. Stars Vincent Price, Joseph Cotten, Hugh Griffin, Terry-Thomas, Virginia North. "Love means never having to say you're ugly." Mad doctor Price is mutilated and his wife killed in separate accidents. Price, who is also mute as a result of the accident, plots revenge against the team of doctors (including Cotten) who failed to save his wife's life. Price speaks by plugging a cord from his neck into a Victrola. Fuest (THE DEVILS RAIN) directs the gory murders (including attacks by rats, bats and locusts, and an impaling via brass unicorn) with wit. Price is his usual great hammy self. Griffin appears briefly as a rabbi who recognizes the strange killings as resembling the plagues visited upon the Pharaoh in the Old Testament. North mainly looks gorgeous as Phibes' mute assistant Vulnavia. Caroline Munro appears mainly in photos as Price's dead wife. Billed by American-International Pictures as Price's 100th film (it wasn't). Price reprised his role the next year in Dr. Phibes Rises Again.

...ABOUT LAST NIGHT (1986)--Directed by Edward Zwick. Stars Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Jim Belushi, Elizabeth Perkins. Love story about a young Chicago couple going through the awkward routine of falling in love. Lowe and Moore are their usual bland selves, but film is worth seeing for the exemplary supporting performances of Belushi and Perkins. Based on David Mamet's play SEXUAL PERVERSITY IN CHICAGO. The cowards should have kept the original title. From the director of GLORY.

ABOVE THE LAW (1988)--Directed by Andrew Davis. Stars Steven Seagal, Sharon Stone, Henry Silva. Seagal is pretty impressive in his film debut as an ex-CIA agent/Chicago cop who runs afoul of government-sponsored drug dealers. Seagal is believable in the many martial arts scenes, yet surprisingly tender in scenes involving his wife (Stone) and family. The 6'4" Seagal had never acted before, and has not been this interesting since. He formerly ran a dojo in Japan. Silva is properly sinister as the main heavy, and it's always great to see Grier on the big screen. Excellent use of Windy City locations. It was obvious from this film that Davis would be an action director to be reckoned with, and he received a Best Director Oscar nomination for 1993's THE FUGITIVE. The ambitious screenplay was written by Davis, Seagal, Ronald Shusett and Steven Pressfield. Seagal also served as executive producer. Also with Pam Grier, Thalmus Rasulala, Daniel Faraldo and Michael Rooker.

ABSENCE OF MALICE (1981)--Directed by Sydney Pollack.  Stars Paul Newman, Sally Field, Melinda Dillon, Bob Balaban, Wilford Brimley.  With stories of an irresponsible press becoming more and more prevalent, even reaching as high as CBS News and the New York Times, which actually apologized in print for their inept coverage of the war in Iraq, ABSENCE OF MALICE's central themes of truth and responsibility in reporting the news are as relevant as ever.

Michael Gallagher (Newman) is an honest businessman who is implicated by newspaper reporter Megan Carter (Field) in the disappearance of a labor boss.  Megan isn't really incompetent, just naïve, since she has been suckered into printing the story by an unscrupulous government investigator (Balaban) whose inquiry into the case has run into a standstill.  Gallagher's uncle and late father were gangsters, so Balaban hopes the story's notoriety will shake a few clues loose, Gallagher's livelihood and reputation be damned.  The Oscar-nominated screenplay by Kurt Luedtke, a former reporter himself, really cuts loose when Gallagher begins his own sting operation with the direct purpose of teaching lessons in responsible behavior to those with virtually unchecked power to hurt innocents in their pursuit of their own goals.

Newman and Dillon as Gallagher's fragile friend were also nominated for Academy Awards, but Field actually has the trickiest role.  Megan is not a very good reporter, nor is she particularly likable, although Field does a wonderful job of keeping the audience on her side.  We want to like her, of course, because she's the cute, plucky Sally Field, and the manner in which she is led astray by men who want to use her position to advance their own agendas lends some sympathy.  The actor-friendly Pollack delivers plenty of big moments for the talented supporting cast, especially Brimley, who wanders in during the final reel to snatch the scenery.  Newman's quiet intensity and intelligence make it appear as though he's barely acting, but the intricacies of the increasingly complex plot likely wouldn't have worked in Pollack's subdued dramatic context without him.

Filmed in Miami, ABSENCE OF MALICE was a hit for Columbia and is an excellent companion to Newman's 1982 film THE VERDICT, for which he also was nominated for (and deserved to win) a Best Actor Oscar.  Also with Luther Adler, Barry Primus, Don Hood, Josef Sommer and John Harkins.  Music by Dave Grusin.

THE ABYSS (1989)--Directed by James Cameron. Stars Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Michael Biehn. Awesome underwater adventure is marred by a confusing and overly sugary ending. Estranged husband-and-wife engineers (Harris, Mastrantonio) and their team are dispatched to investigate the wreckage of a nuclear submarine. They find a strange alien presence, and must deal with a psychotic Navy SEAL (Biehn). Impressive photography and Oscar-winning special effects, including an early use of the "morphing" technique that Cameron later used to perfection in TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY. Also with Leo Burmester, Todd Graff, J.C. Quinn and Chris Elliott. Cameron's slightly longer (almost three hours) and better "Director's Cut" is now available on DVD; it more clearly explains the aliens' motives, and features some well-done tidal wave effects. Music by Alan Silvestri. Dream Quest and Industrial Light and Magic provided the Academy Award-winning SFX.

THE ACCIDENTAL SPY (2001)--Directed by Teddy Chan.  Stars Jackie Chan, Vivian Hsu, Wu Tsing Kuo.  Jackie is Buck, a salesman of exercise equipment who dreams of having a more exciting lifestyle.  He receives more than he bargained for when he learns he's the son of a dying Korean millionaire.  Visiting the old man on his deathbed, Buck ends up saving his life from assassins and being drawn into a deadly plot involving North Korean agents, a seductress named Yong (Hsu) and a terrorist named Zen (Tsing-Kuo) who plans to hold the world hostage with a new strain of anthrax.  I like the film's scope and globetrotting storyline, and even though it's filled with action, it's not really Jackie at his best.  The middle-aged maestro of martial arts has certainly lost a couple of steps, although one neat chase through an Istanbul market showcases Jackie's flair for both slapstick and fighting skills, as he battles his attackers while completely naked!  The climax is well-handled by director Chan, but is too similar to SPEED to get too excited about.  Thankfully, Jackie continues his odd trend of casting extremely young Asian women in his movies; Hsu, who was in her mid-20s, appears to be a mere teenybopper.  A fun movie, but nowhere near the heights of PROJECT A or DRUNKEN MASTER II. 

THE ACCIDENTAL TOURIST (1988)--Directed by Lawrence Kasdan. Stars William Hurt, Kathleen Turner, Geena Davis, Ed Begley, Jr., Bill Pullman. Way overrated drama about an author (Hurt) who begins a string of odd behavior when his wife (Turner) leaves him. He then takes up with an eccentric dog groomer (Davis), which brings him back to normal. Film's biggest fault is that Hurt's character is such a dull bore, I can't believe the effervescent Davis would be the least bit interested in him, or, for that matter, that Turner would want to come back to him. Davis received a well-deserved Best Supporting Actress Oscar; film received nominations for Best Picture, Screenplay Adaptation and Original Score.

THE ACCUSED (1988)--Directed by Jonathan Kaplan. Stars Jodie Foster, Kelly McGillis, Leo Rossi, Carmen Argenziano. Foster won a Best Actress Oscar as a white-trash waitress who is raped in a bar while drunken onlookers cheer. Attorney McGillis plea-bargains the case down to a lesser charge, but, after Foster's convincing argument, decides to prosecute the onlookers as accessories. Routine courtroom drama is worth watching for Foster's powerful performance. Rape scene is sensitively directed by Kaplan (TRUCK TURNER).

ACE VENTURA, PET DETECTIVE (1993)--Directed by Tom Shadyac. Stars Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young. I've only been able to sit through about ten minutes of this frighteningly unfunny comedy at a time. Somehow this was a box-office smash, and enabled its rubbery star to become the highest-paid comic actor ($20 million per film!) in Hollywood. Ace is hired to track down the Miami Dolphins' kidnapped mascot; eventually their star quarterback (played by real-life QB Dan Marino) turns up missing too. See Carrey fall down, make funny faces, act like a fool and talk out of his rear end. Don't say I didn't warn you. Also with Udo Kier, Tone Loc and sexy Rebecca Ferratti. A sequel, ACE VENTURA: WHEN NATURE CALLS, was released two years later and was set in Africa. From the director of the much better NUTTY PROFESSOR remake with Eddie Murphy.

ACES: IRON EAGLE III (1993)—Directed by John Glen.  Stars Louis Gossett Jr., Rachel McLish, Sonny Chiba, Christopher Cazenove, Horst Buchholz.  If this addle-brained sequel is good for anything, it was for introducing the unique action heroine McLish to movie audiences.  The two-time Ms. Olympia is quite beautiful, and gets plenty of opportunities to showcase both her sex appeal and her action chops.  Perhaps McLish was a bit ahead of her time, as there were virtually no female action stars in the early ‘90s, and she made only one more film.  In this inexpensive New Line release, McLish plays a simple Peruvian villager (it isn’t really explained how she could have gotten her body into such shape) who escapes captivity there and arrives at a U.S. Air Force base, where Colonel Chappy (Gossett) puts on World War II combat reenactments at air shows.  Since someone at his base is involved in the drug-smuggling organization that kidnapped McLish’s family, Chappy recruits his elderly co-pilots—British Cazenove, German Buchholz and Japanese Chiba—to fly their antique rustbuckets all the way to South America and save the day.  Of course it’s all ludicrous, but flying fans will love the visual effects and old-time aircraft, while others will enjoy the charms of Gossett, Chiba and—of course—the sexy McLish.  Veteran actors Paul Freeman (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK), Fred Dalton Thompson, Bob Minor and Mitchell Ryan add flavor to this old-fashioned adventure directed by a man who made several James Bond movies.  You won’t believe it, but Trimark released IRON EAGLE IV in 1995.

ACROSS 110TH STREET (1972)--Directed by Barry Shear. Stars Anthony Quinn, Yaphet Kotto, Anthony Franciosa. When members of a black gang steal $30,000 from the Mafia, New York City cops Quinn and Kotto find themselves in the middle of a gang war. Brutal action scenes are well handled by TV veteran Shear. Script (based on Wally Davis's novel) by Luthor Davis; produced by former I SPY location manager Fouad Said and Ralph Serpe. Also with Antonio Fargas, Gloria Hendry, Burt Young and Richard Ward. Music by J.J. Johnson.

ACTION JACKSON (1988)--Directed by Craig R. Baxley. Stars Carl Weathers, Vanity, Craig T. Nelson, Sharon Stone. Far-fetched but slick Joel Silver-produced action film starring Weathers (ROCKY's Apollo Creed) as the title character, a Detroit cop trying to arrest a vengeance-seeking corrupt businessman named Dellaplane (Nelson). The two have a karate battle after Weathers drives his sports car into Nelson's house and up the stairs (!) to the second floor. It's that kind of movie. Stunts and chases strain credulity a bit, but it's still kind of fun. If it had been made 15 years earlier, Fred Williamson or Jim Brown would have starred in it. Vanity is sexy even when playing a junkie. I understand she has become a born-again Christian and retired from acting. Also with Sonny Landham, Ed O'Ross, Robert Davi, Nicholas Worth, Bill Duke. Music by Michael Kamen and Herbie Hancock. Director Baxley is a former stuntman.

ACTION U.S.A. (1989)—Directed by John Stewart. Stars Gregory Scott Cummins, William Smith, Cameron Mitchell, Ross Hagen, Hoke Howell, Barri Murphy, William Hubbard Knight. FBI agents Cummins and Knight try to protect murder witness Murphy (who is topless during the opening titles) from hitmen belonging to mobster Mitchell. I love it when a stuntman gets a chance to direct a movie, because he can’t resist piling one dangerous gag after another. The screenplay just barely exists enough to hang more shootouts, car jumps, breaking glass, and high falls than can reasonably fit in 90 minutes. The dialogue and plotting are crummy, but who cares? Despite the accomplished action scenes, Stewart’s film doesn’t reach the heights of fellow stuntmen Max Kleven, Craig Baxley, Patrick Donahue, or Chuck Bail’s best films, but it’s a decent time for sure. Veteran heavies Smith (as a predictably corrupt agent), Howell, Mitchell (who acts typically loony in his handful of scenes), and Hagen are fun to watch. Bloopers air during the end credits. Filmed in Waco, Texas.

ACTIVE STEALTH (1999)--Directed by Fred Olen Ray.  Stars Daniel Baldwin, Hannes Jaenicke, Fred Williamson, Joe Lala.  One year after he was forced to leave behind his buddy Rifkin (Jaenicke) on a mission in Central America, Army Ranger Murphy (Baldwin, the beefy brother) gets the opportunity to rescue him when his squad is ordered by General Reynolds (Williamson) to infiltrate the stronghold of druglord Salvatore (Lala).  To help Murphy on his mission to rescue "Riff" and destroy Salvatore's dope operation, Reynolds lends him a modified top-secret stealth aircraft that can carry passengers, as well as a full armament of weapons and radar-dodging equipment.

Ray and scripter Steve Latshaw do an okay job of creating distinctive (though clichéd) personalities for the good guys, but the seen-it-all-before plot contains at least one doublecross too many and relies on such tried-and-true gimmicks as "the world's stupidest guard" and "bad guys who can't shoot worth a damn" to get his heroes out of tricky situations.  The dialogue, which contains groaners like "I'm getting too old for this", is no help either.  Ray does a nice job blending stock footage, including actual government video, with his own actors to cut down on expenses, and even proves that old-fashioned in-camera special effect methods like forced perspective can still fool the modern eye.  All in all, an uninteresting straight-to-video production with better-than-average production values.  I wish Williamson, who spends a lot of his screen time on the phone, were more involved in the action scenes.

Also with comic relief Chick Vennera, '90s erotic thriller queen Shannon Whirry in a thankless role as the dutiful wife, Tim Abell, Lisa Vidal (now on Lifetime's THE DIVISION), Paul Michael Robinson, Ladd York, wrestler Terry Funk (ROAD HOUSE), PLAYBOY's Ava Fabian (EXTREME LIMITS), producer Kim Ray (the director's wife) and Phoenician Entertainment head Andrew Stevens.  The DVD's only extra is an entertaining and informative audio commentary by Ray, in which he explains why the name of Vennera's character keeps changing (Baldwin kept forgetting it) and how he got rooked by the producers of the JAG TV series.  Not only is Ray good-humored and realistic about his film's shortcomings, but he also serves as a well-informed tutor on low-budget filmmaking, explaining how certain shots were done and the locations of his sets.

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991)--Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Stars Raul Julia, Anjelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, Dan Hedaya. Wonderful casting and terrific production values save this box-office hit based upon the '60s TV series and Charles Addams's legendary comic strip. The lightweight plot concerns a conman (Hedaya) who replaces Uncle Fester (Lloyd) with an evil double in an effort to gain control of the Addams fortune. That doesn't really matter; what does are the witty dialogue between Gomez and Morticia (brilliantly cast Julia and Huston), the spooky sets and Christina Ricci's marvelous performance as daughter Wednesday. Look for the hilarious scene involving Wednesday's and brother Pugsley's (Jimmy Workman) school play. Altogether ooky, indeed. Also with Carol Kane, Elizabeth Wilson and Carel Struycken as Lurch ("You rang?"). Script by Larry Wilson and Caroline Thompson. Sonnenfeld's directorial debut; he was previously a cinematographer on films by the Coen brothers (BARTON FINK).

ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES (1993)--Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Stars Raul Julia, Anjelica Huston, Christopher Lloyd, Joan Cusack, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman, Carol Kane. A rare case of the sequel being better than the original. The creepy and kooky Addams' welcome a new member into the family--baby Pubert. Siblings Wednesday (Ricci) and Pugsley (Workman) are jealous and try to kill their new brother. Meanwhile, Uncle Fester (Lloyd) is being seduced by the sexy but evil new nanny (Cusack). Julia and Huston are properly romantic and macabre as Gomez and Morticia. Julia's untimely death in 1994 put an end to any future sequels. Also with Peter MacNicol, Christine Baranski, Dana Ivey and a cameo by Peter Graves. Paul Rudnick (IN & OUT) scripted.

ADIOS, SABATA--See SABATA.

ADVENTURELAND (2009)—Directed by Greg Mottola. Stars Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Kristin Wiig, Bill Hader, Martin Starr, Ryan Reynolds. It seems like Mottola was trying to make the ‘80s generation’s equivalent of DAZED AND CONFUSED, but ended up with something much less than both the Linklater classic and his own raunchier SUPERBAD. Gawky college student James (Eisenberg) is forced to take a summer job at a rundown amusement park, where he falls for hipster Em (Stewart), who favors Husker Du and Brian Eno. You know the type. ADVENTURELAND is sweet and plotless and almost as interested in James and Em’s colorful co-workers, such as older maintenance man Connell (Reynolds), who’s fooling around with Em, sardonic Bobby (Starr, who steals most of his scenes), and the clueless married couple who run the place, played by SNL’s Wiig and Hader. Outside of the park, the movie is typical boy-meets-girl/boy-loses-girl b.s., and I was disappointed that Mottola fell back on the cliché of staging the romantic reconciliation in a rainstorm. I also don’t remember high school girls being so psyched about Lou Reed in 1987. Also with Jack Gilpin, Wendie Malick, Margarita Levieva, and Matt Bush. Filmed at the Kennywood park near Pittsburgh. Music by Crowded House, the Rolling Stones, Falco, Judas Priest, INXS, and others.

THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCO COUNTY, JR. (1993)--Directed by Bryan Spicer.  Stars Bruce Campbell, Julius Carry, Christian Clemenson, Billy Drago, R. Lee Ermey.  Fox did a good job promoting this clever comic western with science fiction overtones, but low ratings forced its cancellation after one season and 27 episodes, while the show that followed it on Friday nights, THE X-FILES, became a sensation.  Campbell should have become a major television star with his portrayal of Harvard-educated Brisco County Jr., a bounty hunter dedicated to capturing the killers of his marshal father, Brisco County Sr. (Ermey).  Chief villain John Bly (Drago) and his gang of twelve escaped from Marshal County’s clutches just before shooting him down in cold blood.  Accompanying Brisco on his adventures were Socrates Poole (Clemenson), a milquetoast lawyer working for Brisco’s employers, and Lord Bowler (Carry), a rival hunter with a short temper.  BRISCO was reminiscent of THE WILD, WILD WEST, in that it frequently dealt with anachronisms (like a rocket) and fantastic elements, such as a mysterious orb that rewards its possessor with supernatural powers.  Also with John Pyper-Ferguson, John Astin, Anne Tremko, Stuart Whitman, Robert Fuller, James Drury, Rayford Barnes, Paul Brinegar, M.C. Gainey and Kelly Rutherford as the luscious Dixie Cousins, who became Brisco’s love interest in the series.  Randy Edelman’s evocative theme later became synonymous with NBC Sports’ telecasts of the World Series and the Olympic Games.

THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION (1984)—Directed by W.D. Richter.  Stars Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Jeff Goldblum, Ellen Barkin.  A rare example of a cult movie that was made specifically to appeal to a cult audience…and succeeded.  Earl Mac Rauch’s screenplay is goofy, convoluted and messy, but that’s kind of the point.  A pre-ROBOCOP Weller is Buckaroo Banzai, a half-American/half-Japanese neurosurgeon, rocket car pilot, scientific whiz and government troubleshooter who also plays rock-and-roll with his merry men, the Hong Kong Cavaliers.  Doc Savage’s influence on the film is obvious, as too-good-to-be-true Buckaroo’s new invention, the Oscillation Overthruster, allows him to pilot his rocket car through a mountain, which opens a portal to the eighth dimension.  Aliens who invaded the United States in 1938 steal the invention and plan to use it to conquer the Earth.  Lithgow is properly over-the-top as villainous Emilio Lizardo, which contrasts effectively with Weller’s wry, deadpan approach.  Filled with quotable dialogue, Michael Boddicker’s funky electronic score, and offbeat visual effects, BUCKAROO is a film that all SF fans need to see at least once.  Wes Anderson swiped the memorable closing credits sequence for THE LIFE AQUATIC (which also starred Goldblum).  Also with Christopher Lloyd, Vincent Schiavelli, Lewis Smith, Jonathan Banks, Robert Ito, Clancy Brown, Pepe Serna, Ronald Lacey, Carl Lumbly, Billy Vera, John Ashton and Jamie Lee Curtis as Buckaroo’s mother in a prologue that was cut from the theatrical release.

THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN MARVEL (1941)--Directed by William Witney & John English. Stars Tom Tyler, Frank Coghlan Jr. This 12-chapter Republic serial is usually regarded as the best Saturday matinee of all time. Teenager Billy Batson (Coghlan) works as a cub reporter for a radio station. However, when he says the magic word, "Shazam", he becomes invulnerable superhero Captain Marvel (Tyler). Cap takes on the evil Scorpion (voiced by Gerald Mohr, later the animated Mr. Fantastic on The Fantastic Four cartoon of the '60s), who is in possession of a matter transmutation device capable of mass destruction, and is after five lenses needed to operate the machine. The Scorpion, hidden behind a purple robe and hood, is actually a member of the expedition that discovered the device, but which one? Witney's serials are almost always exciting, and feature wildly choreographed fight scenes. Captain Marvel is a pretty brutal hero, tossing bad guys off bridges and buildings to their deaths, and even machine-gunning a trio of marauders in the back! Also with Harry Worth, Louise Currie, Reed Hadley, William Benedict and John Davidson as Tal Chatali.

THE ADVENTURES OF FORD FAIRLANE (1990)--Directed by Renny Harlin. Stars Andrew Dice Clay, Lauren Holly, Wayne Newton, Priscilla Presley. Harlin released this offbeat comedy and DIE HARD 2 the same summer. Controversial comedian Diceman makes his starring debut as a rock-and-roll detective. The real fun is in spotting the odd supporting cast, including Gilbert Gottfried, Ed ONeill, Robert Englund, Vince Neil of Motley Crue, rapper Tone Loc, MTV newsman Kurt Loder, Morris Day of The Time, Sheila E., Delia Sheppard and more. A couple of years later, Clay had vanished, but reemerged in the late '90s starring in a pair of short-lived sitcoms. Daniel Waters (BATMAN, HUDSON HAWK) co-scripted.

Similar to Michael Pataki's X-rated CINDERELLA (with Rainbeaux Smith in the title role) and Paramount's THE FIRST NUDIE MUSICAL, ALICE features arrangements by CAROL BURNETT SHOW conductor Peter Matz and lots of entertaining songs.  DeBell is a properly innocent and fresh-faced Alice, pretty but not gorgeous and undeniably winning.  As far as I know, this was her only porn film; she was appearing regularly on TV and in films at the time.  As for the hardcore sequences, these were trimmed for General National Enterprises' original release, which was an R-rated cut with about three minutes missing.  They were later replaced in later releases and on home video.  Producer Bill Osco also made the porn spoof FLESH GORDON and played the lead in wife Jackie Kong's awful horror movie THE BEING.  Gelman is billed as "Larry Spelman".  From the director of NIGHTMARE IN WAX.

ALIEN (1979)--Directed by Ridley Scott. Stars Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Veronica Cartwright, Harry Dean Stanton, Ian Holm, Yaphet Kotto, and John Hurt. Terrifying science fiction/horror classic about seven astronauts aboard the cargo ship Nostromo who are killed off one by one by an enormous space creature. It's really just a bloodier, big-budget remake of a 1950s B-movie, but Scott's direction is very effective, and a good cast is able to maintain suspense throughout. The alien chest-bursting scene involving Hurt has become a horror classic; curiously enough, the rest of the killings are kept off-screen. This was Scott's first big hit; he went on to direct BLADE RUNNER and the Oscar-winning GLADIATOR. Winner of an Academy Award for Visual Effects, the H.R. Giger-designed monster is indeed frightening and imposing. Jerry Goldsmith's score is properly unworldly. I find this movie interesting for two reasons: there are no romantic subplots, and the lone survivor is a woman. "In space, no one can hear you scream."

THE ALIEN DEAD (1980)--Directed by Fred Olen Ray.  Stars Buster Crabbe, Ray Roberts, Linda Lewis, Mike Bonavia.  One of Ray's earliest films, this 16mm cheapie was made on weekends for $15,000.  Ray lured former serial star Crabbe out of retirement to work for one day as Sheriff Bernard Kowalski, a nod to the director of ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES.  A meteor falls from the sky into a Florida swamp, destroying a houseboat and turning its denizens into flesh-eating zombies that attack a small town.  The makeup effects are effective, but the acting and production values are pretty bad, about on the level of a well-organized home movie, which is about what this is.  Made in 1978 as IT FELL FROM THE SKY.  A still in THE PSYCHOTRONIC ENCYCLOPEDIA OF FILM showing Crabbe wrestling with a zombie never actually occurs in the film.  Ray soon moved to Hollywood to make his schlock monster movies in 35mm.

THE ALIEN FACTOR (1978)—Directed by Don Dohler.  Stars Don Leifert, Tom Griffith, Richard Dyszel, George Stover.  I think most SF fans of a certain age have seen this 16mm wonder.  Somehow, despite its obvious amateur pedigree, it managed to sell to television stations across the United States, where it played at odd times for many years.  I saw it more than once on WCIA-TV’s EARLY SHOW and LATE SHOW.  I remember it because, at that age, I was intrigued that something no more than a glorified home movie could get on TV.  For some reason, writer/producer/director/actor Dohler’s debut feature clicked with some audiences.  The acting, photography, sound and music are terrible, but some of the special effects and creature effects are imaginative and better than expected.  A spaceship crashes near a small Maryland town.  A trio of alien monsters—all of different species—rampage the area, killing many townspeople.  The ineffectual sheriff (Griffith) battles with the greedy mayor (Dyszel), who doesn’t want to bring in the state police because bad publicity might scotch his deal to build an amusement park.  The town is at the mercy of an obnoxious astronomer (Leifert) who appears to have his own mysterious monster-killing abilities.  Ernest Farino did the good opening titles and the okay stop-motion battle at the climax.  The most outstanding effect is probably the 7-foot fur monster suit that works even on snow and ice.  Dohler’s NIGHTBEAST appears to be more or less a remake, while—ironically—ALIEN FACTOR 2 has nothing to do with this film.

ALIEN FROM L.A. (1987)--Directed by Albert Pyun. Stars Kathy Ireland, William R. Moses, Don Michael Paul, Linda Kerridge, Richard Haines. In this dull fantasy, a shy, near-sighted wallflower (Ireland) travels to Africa to find her missing explorer father (Haines), and stumbles into a primitive underground civilization. She finds him with the help of a cranky miner (Moses). Ireland's annoying, high-pitched voice may drive you to drink. Nothing here you haven't seen done better elsewhere. If you can sit through until the end, you get to see the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED cover girl in a bikini! From the director of CAPTAIN AMERICA, and produced by the notorious Cannon Group team of Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. Was skewered as an episode of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000.

ALIEN LOVER (1975)—Directed by Lela Swift.  Stars Kate Mulgrew, Pernell Roberts, Susan Brown, John Ventantonio.  ABC aired this videotaped TV-movie as part of its late-night WIDE WORLD MYSTERY series.  20-year-old Mulgrew (STAR TREK: VOYAGER) made her television debut as Susan, a teenaged orphan who comes to live with her aunt and uncle (Brown and Roberts) after two years in a sanitarium.  Feeling alone with no friends and nervous about her new living situation, Susan becomes friendly with Marc (Ventantonio), a handsome young man who appears to her on a broken old TV set in the attic.  Marc claims to live in an alternate dimension adjacent to ours, and that his people are working on technology that will allow them to cross over.  Of course, no one in Susan’s family believes her story about a boy who talks to her through a busted television set, and when the family cat is killed and Susan’s cousin vanishes in quick succession, one begins to wonder whether Susan is having another mental breakdown.  While the performances are professional enough (Mulgrew is particularly winsome here), the story is too slight for its 74-minute running time and isn’t aided by Swift’s soap-opera direction that limits most of the action to two rooms.  Okay, we won’t blame the director (a DARK SHADOWS alum) for ABC’s thin budget, but she and the writer have to take the hit for ALIEN LOVER’s too-brief ending, which is both confusing and promising of something better to come.  Swift, one of network TV’s few female directors of the era, also made NIGHTMARE AT 43 HILLCREST and other movies for WIDE WORLD MYSTERY.