TRAPPED (2002)--Directed by Luis Mandoki.  Stars Charlize Theron, Kevin Bacon, Courtney Love, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Stuart Townsend, Dakota Fanning, Colleen Camp.  Is the title referring to the characters up on the screen or us sitting in the theater?  TRAPPED takes place over one long night for them, but it felt even longer to me.

TRAPPED is another example of a Hollywood studio (Columbia this time) dumping a major release into theaters without the promotional benefits of advanced screenings or star publicity tours, which usually indicates that the studio knows it has a dog on its hands and is trying to score a quick buck from unsuspecting audiences before hitting video shelves.  In this case, Columbia is trying to pass itself off as socially responsible, claiming the film's subject matter, child kidnapping, is a sore subject with the public right now.  Maybe it is, but apparently not sore enough for Columbia to shelve the film until a more appropriate date, if there can be said to be one.  If Columbia had filed TRAPPED away in a vault somewhere, it's a sure thing nobody would have noticed.  It's a straightforward kidnap yarn with absolutely no surprises.  Everything that you think will happen does.  The performances range from perfunctory to atrocious, and the fumbled climax looks as though it were edited with a rusty scythe.

6-year-old Abbey (Dakota Fanning, I AM SAM), the daughter of wealthy Seattle anesthesiologist Will Jennings (Stuart Townsend, QUEEN OF THE DAMNED) and his wife, designer Karen (Charlize Theron), is kidnapped by a white-trash family consisting of Joe (Kevin Bacon), his wife Cheryl (Courtney Love) and Joe's cousin Marvin (Pruitt Taylor Vince, limning the 363rd "hulking moron" role of his career).  The only clever aspect of the screenplay by Greg Iles, who adapted his own novel, is that the three Jenningses are held at gunpoint at three separate locations, where Joe has instructed his accomplices to kill their hostages if he doesn't make his half-hourly cell phone call to them.  You might think it a bit reckless to risk losing a $250,000 ransom and gaining a murder rap on the reliability of your cellular phone provider, especially in the mountainous Cascades, but it hasn't occurred to Joe, who says, "I'm a genius!"

The rest of TRAPPED...well, you've seen kidnapping movies before.  The unsuccessful escape attempts, the admonishments of "don't call the police or your kid is dead", FBI agents asking the characters to "wear a wire"--you know the drill.  Bacon might have loved playing the bad guy, but he isn't very good at it.  Constantly wearing a Cheshire-cat grin and coming off more cartoony than scary, he lacks the menacing charisma that James Woods would have brought to the role.  Love, whose lack of acting acumen once got her canned from a John Carpenter movie (of all things) and replaced by Natasha Henstridge (of all people), is garishly miscast, while everyone else goes through the motions, hitting their marks and saying their lines as if they barely believed them.  I guess that's one step ahead of me, who didn't believe anything about this picture.

As much as Hollywood films cost these days, it's a shame they can't pony up a few hundred more for a decent tripod to place the camera on.  Director Luis Mandoki (MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE) tries to create tension by jittering the camera, often focusing it on the actors' ear or nose and sometimes cutting their heads off entirely.  Cult movie fans might get a kick out of a brief appearance by Colleen Camp of THE SWINGING CHEERLEADERS.  Filmed in Vancouver.

TRAVIS MCGEE (1983)--Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen.  Stars Sam Elliott, Gene Evans, Katharine Ross, Geoffrey Lewis.  Purists hooked on John D. McDonald's literary detective may quibble with the liberties taken with his character (for one, McGee now lives on a sailboat in California), but fans of a good mystery should settle in for an amiable time.  Based on McDonald's THE EMPTY COPPER SEA, the film finds McGee (Elliott at his most Selleck-esque) and his gruff sidekick Meyer (Evans) heading to San Diego to investigate the disappearance of a millionaire named Lawless.  Between knocks on the head and dalliances with a cute lounge singer (and her jealous ex-boyfriend), McGee's path leads him to Tuckerman (Lewis), Lawless' slowwitted friend and confidante who may or may not be as dim as he appears to be, as well as Tuckerman's sister Gretel (Elliott's real-life wife Ross).  Stirling Silliphant's teleplay isn't up to the standards of his best work (IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT), but TRAVIS MCGEE is a decent enough pilot film for a series that somehow never got off the ground.  Perhaps the McGee character was too introspective for '80s audiences.  Also with Amy Madigan, Vera Miles, Richard Farnsworth, Barry Corbin and Marshall Teague.  Music by Jerrold Immel.  McLaglen was the veteran director of a lot of westerns, including THE SHADOW RIDERS, a Louis L'Amour adaptation that starred Elliott.

TREACHERY AND GREED ON THE PLANET OF THE APES (1974)--Directed by Jack Starrett & Ralph Senensky. Stars Ron Harper, James Naughton, Roddy McDowall, Booth Colman, Mark Lenard. This TV-movie derived from two episodes of the CBS-TV series PLANET OF THE APES stars Harper and Naughton as a pair of astronauts stranded on a future Earth ruled by apes in the year 3085. Pursued by an ape government that wants to capture and study them, astronauts Virdon and Burke, accompanied by friendly chimpanzee Galen (McDowall, who was also in four of the five theatrical APE films), encounter a human blacksmith terrorized by gorilla military head Urko (Lenard). Also with Morgan Woodward, John Hoyt, Richard Devon, Percy Rodrigues, Joseph Ruskin, Tom Troupe and Michael Conrad. Teleplay by David P. Lewis, Booker Bradshaw and Walter Black. Music by Lalo Schifrin.

TREASURE HUNT (2003)--Directed by Jim Wynorski.  Stars Richard Gabai, Glori-Anne Gilbert, Gail Harris, Shea Smith.  With this and CHEERLEADER MASSACRE, schlock filmmaker Wynorski appears to have lost all desire to make a decent movie.  This lazy takeoff on the SURVIVOR TV series strands a bunch of top-heavy women and jerkwad men on a tropical island so they can find the $10 million prize money hidden there.  A killer in a mask and black robe starts killing the cast members.  Producer Gabai wants to call off the show and bring the castaways home, but the network executives smell ratings and can him.  The women all wander around in revealing bikinis and several of them strip down, which is all Wynorski cares about.  The killer's identity is a bit of a cheat, and no one ever gets around to finding the ten mil.  Shot on video cheaply and quickly, this HUNT is no treasure.  Also with Melissa Brasselle, Lenny Juliano, Jay Richardson, Samantha Phillips and Ted Monte.  Julie Strain does a quick topless cameo.

TREASURE OF THE AMAZON (1985)--Directed by Rene Cardoza Jr.  Stars Stuart Whitman, Donald Pleasence, Ann Sidney, Pedro Armendariz Jr., Bradford Dillman, Sonia Infante, Clark Jarrett.  The Mexican director of GUYANA: CULT OF THE DAMNED strikes again with this nudity- and blood-soaked period adventure, allegedly based on actual events and set (for no good reason) in 1958.  Crusty fortune hunter Gringo, played by a fat, bearded, grizzled Whitman, schleps into the South American jungle in search of a legendary cache of diamonds.  Several others race against Gringo for the grand prize, including Nazi von Blantz (Pleasence), who travels with his always-topless native companion Morimba (Infante); oil company stooges Clark (Dillman) and Dick (Jarrett) and Dick's lusty Southern wife (British Sidney affecting a laughable accent); and bandit Zapata (Armendariz).  Also penned and produced by Cardoza (whose son, Rene Cardoza III, directed second unit), TREASURE is great fun for drunken late-night viewing, right up to the memorable final shot of Whitman surrounded by topless women and flipping the bird to the camera.  Few of the characters interact with each other, like they're all appearing in their own short film that happens to be spliced together with somebody else's, and even though the script makes little sense, TREASURE is never boring, packed as it is with double-crosses, nutty dialogue, naked women (and a shirtless Whitman) and tons of gore.  Also with John Ireland as a priest, Jorge Luke and Hugo Stiglitz.  Whitman, Dillman and Stiglitz also acted in GUYANA.  Music by Mort Gerson.

TREASURE OF THE EMERALD CAVE (1972)--Directed by Manuel Cano.  Stars Steve Hawkes.  Certainly the worst Tarzan movie I’ve ever seen.  It’s an unauthorized Spanish production filmed in Florida and, reportedly, Colombia.  Hawkes, the pompadoured muscleman who plays the jungle king, also starred in regional softcore movies and the notorious BLOOD FREAK, a riotously ridiculous horror movie in which he plays a turkey-man.  In this shoddy production, two jungle natives--an evil man and a young boy--compete to earn the title of tribal chief.  Both must head into the jungle and battle wild animals, waterfalls and each other to bring back the “Great Green God”.  Meanwhile, three Americans arrive to hunt exotic wildlife to take home and sell for big bucks.  Tarzan becomes involved with both subplots when the evil native joins forces with one of the greedy Americans to find the exalted “emerald cave,” the location of which is known only to Tarzan, whom they torture for the information.  The Tarzan character does more reacting than acting in this thin story, although Hawkes does look the part.  Kitty Swan plays the Jane character.  She and Hawkes were reportedly seriously injured by a fire while filming the torture sequence.

TREKKIES (1998)--Directed by Roger Nygard. Stars Denise Crosby, Leonard Nimoy, James Doohan, Levar Burton, William Shatner. Very entertaining documentary about the world's most well-known and least understood fans--Trekkies (or Trekkers, as many prefer to be called). STAR TREK debuted in September 1966, and continues to this day to be a multi-million dollar cash cow, spawning spinoff series, motion pictures, tons of merchandise, and STAR TREK-based conventions every weekend someplace around the world. Nygard and host Crosby (who played Security Officer Tasha Yar during STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATIONs first season) tour North America, visiting conventions and interviewing fans. You'll be amazed at how some fans take their TREK obsessions to the extreme. There's the woman juror who asks to be called "Commander" and wore her Star Trek uniform to the Whitewater trial in Little Rock, the dentist who has decorated his office with Trek paraphernalia and calls it "Star Base Dental", the 15-year-old boy who has been attending conventions since he was 6, a guy who builds life-size replicas of TREK props, and much more.

Maybe because of Paramount (which owns the STAR TREK franchise), which released it, and the active participation of former cast member Crosby, TREKKIES doesn't treat its subjects with condescension or scorn. While it's true that we smile at some of their antics, the film also goes out of its way to mention that Trekkies are usually very intelligent, caring people, and much of the money raised at conventions goes to charities. Many STAR TREK actors are interviewed, and they seem genuinely touched, if somewhat baffled, by the love and affection they receive from their fans. It's quite a sweet film. Also with John de Lancie, Kate Mulgrew, George Takei, Walter Koenig, James Doohan, DeForest Kelley, Michael Dorn, Brent Spiner, Chase Masterson, Jonathan Frakes, Wil Wheaton, Nichelle Nichols and Grace Lee Whitney.

TREKKIES 2 (2004)--Directed by Roger Nygard.  Stars Denise Crosby.  Pretty much the same as the first TREKKIES, except this time Nygard and producer/host Crosby go international to find nutty STAR TREK fans, including a guy in England who designed his apartment to look like the starship Enterprise.  Would you believe TREK fan clubs are in Serbia, Brazil and Yugoslavia?  My favorite parts let us check in with favorite "Trekkers" from the first movie, like teenage Gabriel Koerner (now married) and the eccentric Whitewater juror, Barbara Adams.  For stars, Crosby really scrapes the TREK C-list, enlisting interviews from Richard Herd, John Billingsley and Tracy Scoggins.

TRIAL AND ERROR (1997)--Directed by Jonathan Lynn. Stars Michael Richards, Jeff Daniels, Charlize Theron. Frequently funny and smart slapstick from the director of MY COUSIN VINNY. Lynn returns to a rustic courtroom milieu--this time a small Nevada desert town--where big city attorney Daniels is assigned (just a few days before his wedding to the bosss daughter) to defend his boss's distant cousin--a con man who sold "copper engravings" by mail for $17.99 and sent his victims a penny in return. The night before the trial, Daniels is surprised by his best friend, a wacky actor played by Richards, and some guys from Richards' acting class who take Daniels out for a bachelor party in the hotel bar. Daniels awakes the next morning with a massive hangover and is unable to go to court, so Richards pretends to be Daniels for a day hoping for a continuance. The judge refuses to grant the continuance, the trial is set for that afternoon, and Richards is forced to continue his deception, much to the apoplectic chagrin of Daniels, who has to help Richards defend his client using elaborate signals such as notes, flash cards and even tooting car horns. Daniels also begins a relationship with the hotel's cute waitress (Theron), who wears a lot of midriff-baring outfits and seems way too smart and fresh for her surroundings.

While most of the courtroom scenes are funny and outrageously performed by a nice supporting cast, Lynn seems to hit just the right notes with the main love story as well. The relationship between the straight-laced conservative engaged to a spoiled rich girl he doesn't love and the younger, more carefree failed college student is very sweet, and is well performed by Daniels, never an exciting leading man but usually a likable one, and the 22-year-old Theron, who is absolutely luminous in just her second motion picture and manages to be wholesome and sexy at the same time.

Richards, doing a slight variation of his SEINFELD character, has a number of opportunities to show off his flair for physical comedy (most notably an acting audition where he, alone onstage, plays the victim of a Mafia beating; his body flips and twitches in just the right manner--it's sort of like THE GODFATHER meets THE INVISIBLE MAN). It's not much of a stretch for his first film lead, but he plays it well. Rip Torn is properly slick as the con man client (especially during a hilarious monologue on the witness stand), and Austin Pendleton as the increasingly harried judge (which Fred Gwynne did so brilliantly in VINNY) has some nice moments. Also with Jessica Steen, Alexandra Wentworth, Lawrence Pressman, Max Casella and Dale Dye.

THE TRIAL OF BILLY JACK (1974)--Directed by Tom Laughlin (as Frank Laughlin). Stars Tom Laughlin, Delores Taylor, Teresa Laughlin. Laughlins third outing as kung-fu-fighting pacifist Billy Jack is often a chore to watch, but not a total loss due to its occasional bursts of violence, sincere political message and frequent unintentional humor. Most of the nearly three-hour (!) running time is told in flashback, after Taylor's Freedom School is shot up by incompetent National Guardsmen. After four years in prison following his actions in BILLY JACK, Billy returns to the school to protect it against corrupt government officials, land swindlers and bigots.

Laughlin (who wrote the script with real-life wife Taylor) often has a dozen or more subplots running at the same time--a child-abuse victim who plays guitar with his hook hand, a snowy mountaintop rescue, run-ins with rednecks and trigger-happy cops, a greedy land magnate, a lot of folk singing and much, much more. Billy experiences hallucinations during a drug trip to explore his Native American side, is guided by a beautiful Indian girl, slaps a construction worker and a hippie protester, and eventually encounters his mystical, blue-painted double in the Cave of the Dead. The violent climax, featuring children being slaughtered by the National Guard (which could never happen in a feature film today), is pretty bloody for a PG movie, but does elicit a strong response.

Also with Willaim Wellman Jr., Teda Bracci, Kathy Cronkite (Walter's daughter), Sandra Ego, Bong Soo Han (as Billy Jack's hapkido instructor), Victor Izay and Sacheen Littlefeather (who accepted Brandos GODFATHER Oscar). Music by Elmer Bernstein. Billy Jack would return in BILLY JACK GOES TO WASHINGTON, which was never released theatrically.

TRIBES (1970)--Directed by Joseph Sargent. Stars Darren McGavin, Earl Holliman, Jan-Michael Vincent. Outstanding made-for-TV drama about a hippie who gets drafted (Vincent) and his relationship with the tough Marine drill sergeant whose job it is to train him to kill (McGavin). Although Vincent was a young actor of limited range, this may be the best role he ever had--a flower child living a life of peace and serenity forced by his country to kill in the name of that country for a cause he doesn't believe in. McGavin's character also faces the realization that the world is changing around him--changes his own military background hasn't prepared him for. The two leads are excellent, and Tracy Keenan Wynn's teleplay won an Emmy.

TRIBUTE: A ROCKUMENTARY (2001)--Directed by Rich Fox & Kris Curry.  Stars Larger Than Life, Sheer Heart Attack, The Missing Links, Bloodstone.  An entertaining documentary about local tribute bands--bands that copy the repertoire and performances of famous bands.  What you’ll discover is that the silly skirmishes and egotism so rampant on VH1’s BEHIND THE MUSIC shows is just as prevalent in musicians of this stature.  Larger Than Life (KISS) suffers from a “Gene Simmons” who went nuts, burned his house down, and found Christ, forcing his bandmates to audition a new “Gene”.  “Mike” and “Davy” of the Missing Links (The Monkees) had such a falling out that Mike split and formed his own Monkees tribute band.  The guys in Bloodstone (Judas Priest) sound a bit jealous when they relate the story of a rival “Rob Halford” who actually got to perform with their heroes.  And Sheer Heart Attack (Queen) is followed around by a “superfan” who attends all their shows and gets so excited about them that he can’t even eat the day of a concert.  Originally the film featured a Journey tribute band, but I assume music rights issues kept them out of the version I saw.  The film’s biggest flaw is that we don’t get to hear enough of the music to learn how good or bad the bands are, but I assume this was a financial concern and couldn’t be helped.

TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975)--Directed by Dan Curtis. Stars Karen Black. Extremely creepy made-for-TV movie starring Black in three separate segments as three (or four) different characters, although the final story is the only one anybody ever remembers. Called "Prey", it's a tour de force pitting Black against a killer Zumi warrior doll that takes place on one apartment set. No question you'll have to sleep with the lights on after watching this finale! Other episodes star Karen as a mousy college instructor blackmailed by a student, and as a quiet heiress mourning the death of her sister. Also with George Grizzard, Robert Burton, John Karlen and a bit by a pre-Gonzo Gregory Harrison. All three episodes are based on stories by Richard Matheson, who also penned the "Prey" teleplay (William F. Nolan wrote the others). Music by Robert Cobert.

THE TRIP (1967)--Directed by Roger Corman.  Stars Peter Fonda, Bruce Dern, Susan Strasberg, Salli Sachse, Dennis Hopper, Barboura Morris.  Corman’s psychedelic classic, filmed from Jack Nicholson’s screenplay, is hopelessly dated, yet intentionally so, as Corman wanted to perfectly capture a particular moment in time and space—specifically, the Southern California counterculture circa 1967.  It’s hard to believe this was filmed during my lifetime (I was born in ’67), because it appears to capture an alien environment far removed from today’s Neocon-based reality.

The plot, what exists of it, is simple enough.  Paul Grove (Fonda), a director of television commercials facing depression because of his impending divorce from wife Sally (Strasberg) and guilt because of the “sellout” status of his profession, talks things over with his psychologist buddy John (Dern).  John’s remedy is to stop by a wildly painted hippie pad, score some LSD from pusher Max (Hopper), take it back to John’s house in the Hollywood hills, and send Paul on a “trip” with John serving as his guide to ensure he stays safe. 

Paul sees lots of brilliantly colored lights, topless dancing women, a medieval dwarf, white horses being ridden on a beach by mysterious hooded figures, and a foggy Bronson Caverns.  About halfway through his all-night trip, John turns his back for a moment, freeing Paul to split into the night and wander around the Sunset Strip in a druggy haze, pestering a straight woman (Morris) in a Laundromat and hooking up with sexy Sachse.

Somehow, Corman managed to shoot a lot of random weird footage on a three-week schedule, almost all of it on actual locations.  His mission was simple—to depict on film (as closely as it is possible to) an actual acid trip and do it in a neutral manner.  Although Corman occasionally throws a bummer or two into Paul’s journey, THE TRIP is basically a 79-minute commercial for lysergic acid diethylamide, including instructions (provided by John) on how to prepare for a trip.  Corman took LSD himself to prepare for producing this film, and his “research” shows in THE TRIP’s attention to detail.  Of course, Nicholson, Hopper and Fonda were experienced drug takers who lent verisimilitude to the film’s depiction of the Sunset Strip scene.  Ironically, Dern, an athlete who never smoked or did any form of hallucinogenic drug in his life, gives the movie’s best performance as Fonda’s calming influence.

I liked this movie quite a bit when I was younger, though my own experience in the drug scene is positively Dernian.  I still like it, but for different reasons.  The ‘60s hippie scene appears laughable to my eyes; I appreciate the love-everybody-and-who-gives-a-damn-how-long-my-hair-is aspects, but laying around all day getting high and screwing are tremendous wastes of time.  However, Corman’s direction of THE TRIP is quite accomplished—possibly his finest work behind a camera.  Who knows how much influence he had on his cast, who knew more about the culture than he, but the performances are fine all around, and Corman’s blocking and camerawork (veteran Arch Dalzell was the cinematographer), give THE TRIP an expansive look.  The use of colored gels and psychedelic lighting are what gave THE TRIP its notoriety, but the way Corman frames his shots and moves his actors within them contributes to the movie’s fragmented nature.

THE TRIP is, to quote Corman, “pure cinema”—art that could only exist in the form of a motion picture, as its pleasures are almost solely visual.  No story to follow nor heavy subtext to ponder (though there is some mild symbolism that means little), THE TRIP works when you allow it to wash over you, as you would an actual acid trip.  Also with Dick Miller, Luana Anders, Angelo Rossitto, Michael Nader, Beach Dickerson and Michael Blodgett.  The American Music Band handles the scoring.  Corman had a falling out with AIP heads Sam Arkoff and Jim Nicholson over the literal and figurative disclaimers the studio placed at the beginning and end of THE TRIP.  Though he continued to direct for AIP, his output dropped sharply, and Corman began running his own studio, New World, just a few years later.

THE TRIPPER (2007)—Directed by David Arquette.  Stars Jaime King, Lukas Haas, Paul Reubens, Thomas Jane.  THE TRIPPER is a slasher movie that looks and acts as though it were made in 1983. Unlike horror moviemakers like George Romero (DAWN OF THE DEAD) and Wes Craven (THE HILLS HAVE EYES), who couch their social commentary in subtextural terms, TRIPPER writer/director/actor Arquette (Deputy Dewey from the SCREAM trilogy) lays his politics right out there.

A bunch of deck-stackingly clichéd hippies drive their van (of course) to a weekend musical festival taking place in a forest, where a psycho dressed in a blue suit and a Ronald Reagan mask is wandering with an axe. You probably haven't seen anything weirder recently than Ronald Reagan roaming around, saying things like "Just say no" and ranting to a female victim whom he mistakes for his daughter Patti. THE TRIPPER basically plays like a FRIDAY THE 13TH movie, establishing its main teen characters as a bunch of worthless stoners who don't give a damn about anything except getting high (the amount of drugs these characters take is insane) and getting laid. It's pretty obvious Arquette doesn't think much of hippies, but he hates Republicans more. The movie is filled with allusions to Iraq, and one character has a pet pig named "George W" that feeds on human flesh. An ignorant redneck calls Dubya the "greatest President ever."

THE TRIPPER is also a throwback in the amount of gore and nudity (male and female) it showcases. Chainsaws and axes do most of the killing, and both men and women show some full frontal action. Somehow, Arquette managed to get some names to appear. I can't believe Thomas Jane (THE PUNISHER) had nothing better to do than take on the leading role of the local lawman tasked with stopping the murders; he takes an executive producer credit, so it's safe to assume Jane had some passion for the project. Paul Reubens is hilarious as the greedy festival organizer. Jaime King is a somewhat whiny Final Girl, and Lukas Haas, Marsha Thomason (LAS VEGAS) and Jason Mewes (!) play fellow stoners. Arquette has a brief role, and his wife and producer Courteney Cox has a cameo.  The hippies are too broadly drawn to take seriously, which damages THE TRIPPER, even though I'll probably always remember the wild sight of Reagan chopping away at bodies. I'm sure it's no accident, by the way, that Coquette Productions (this may be Arquette/Cox's company) opened THE TRIPPER on "4/20"/07.

TRIPWIRE (1990)--Directed by James Lemmo.  Stars Terence Knox, David Warner, Isabella Hofmann, Yaphet Kotto.  William Lustig and Spiro Razatos, the director and second unit director respectively of MANIAC COP, penned the story for this unexceptional action movie.  After ATF agent Jack DeForest (Knox) kills the teenage son of terrorist Josef Szabo (Warner) during a bust, Szabo exacts revenge by murdering Jack's ex-wife and kidnapping his teen son.  A year later, after being bounced from the agency by officious boss Pitt (Kotto), Jack discovers his son is still alive, drugged by Szabo and forced to participate in a bank robbery a la Patty Hearst.  The good cast and solid action sequences, including a snowmobile chase, make TRIPWIRE an okay timewaster, but it's no better than that, failing to provide much of substance or originality.  Lemmo was Lustig's cinematographer on five features, and Razatos served as Lemmo's stunt coordinator here.  Kotto and Hofmann later starred together on HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET.  Also with Meg Foster, Viggo Mortensen, Charlotte Lewis, Sy Richardson and Tommy Chong.

TROG (1970)--Directed by Freddie Francis. Stars Joan Crawford, Michael Gough. Pretty silly British monster movie about a prehistoric troglodyte man (played by a stuntman with a monkey head and hairy arms and chest). It kills a butcher on his own meat hook, terrorizes London, and kidnaps a little girl and takes her back to his cave. Anthropologist Crawford (in her final role) talks Trog into coming along peacefully. Some funny stuff.

TROUBLE MAN (1972)--Directed by Ivan Dixon. Stars Robert Hooks, Ralph Waite, Paul Winfield. Very violent and fast-moving blaxploitation by the screenwriter and producer of SHAFT (John D.F. Black and Joel D. Freeman respectively). Hooks stars as Mr. T, who is framed for a murder by a pair of gangsters, including a racist white one (Waite), and gets very pissed off because of it. Harry & Michael Medved featured this in their 50 WORST FILMS OF ALL TIME book, but don't pay any attention to them, because TROUBLE MAN delivers the goods. Hooks is tough and charismatic, Dixon's direction is swift and gritty, and there's an excellent score by Marvin Gaye (released by Motown). Also with William Smith, Paula Kelly, Tracy Reed and Julius H. Harris. This was the directorial debut of Dixon, who played Kinchloe for four seasons on HOGAN'S HEROES, and went on to a successful career directing episodic television (THE ROCKFORD FILES, MAGNUM, P.I.)

TRUCK STOP WOMEN (1974)--Directed by Mark L. Lester. Stars Claudia Jennings, Lieux Dressler, Paul Carr, Gene Drew, John Martino. Despite plenty of smashed-up semis, gun battles and healthy-looking nude women, TRUCK STOP WOMEN just didn't deliver for me. Anna (Dressler), who owns a popular truck stop along a New Mexico highway, does most of her business illegally through hijacking, smuggling and prostitution. Her daughter Rose (Jennings), who contributes to the family business by posing as a seductive hitchhiker and kayoing the good-Samaritan truckers who stop to help, has a severe case of wanderlust, and falls for an oily mobster (Martino) who promises her a bigger and brighter future if she'll only help him take over Mama's territory. Meanwhile, Anna is being wooed by business partner Seago (Carr), who needs her help for a big score.

It's hard to believe a '70s exploitation flick with as much smashin', brawlin', whorin' and shootin' as TRUCK STOP WOMEN could be as uninteresting as it is. Maybe it's Lester's pacing, since for some reason the plot hits its air brakes at the halfway point for an utterly pointless and peripheral musical montage ode to truckers with Bobby Hart singing, "I'm A Truck". It was probably also a mistake to make all the characters schemers; we particularly want to like Rose--probably because Jennings was such a likable actress--but she turns out to be arguably the nastiest character of all.

The sexy Jennings--1970's PLAYBOY Playmate of the Year--was actually a fairly decent actress, and it's disappointing we lost her so soon in a 1979 car crash at the age of 29. She was dating singer-songwriter Hart ("Last Train to Clarksville") at the time, and he contributes several songs to the soundtrack, although Big Mack and the Truckstoppers performed the score. Also with Jennifer Burton, Dolores Dorn, Dennis Fimple and Uschi Digart. From the director of CLASS OF 1984 and ROLLER BOOGIE who still churns out an average of one mindless straight-to-video action romp a year.

TRUCK TURNER (1974)--Directed by Jonathan Kaplan.  Stars Isaac Hayes, Yaphet Kotto, Alan Weeks, Nichelle Nichols, Annazette Chase.  Action-packed blaxploitation starring SHAFT Oscar-winner Hayes as bounty hunter "Mack Truck" Turner, who teams up with his partner Jerry (Weeks) to bring in bad guys who have jumped bail.  After killing a pimp during a shootout, Turner finds himself marked for death by foul-mouthed madam Dorinda (Nichols, STAR TREK's Lt. Uhura), who promises her stable of call girls to the mob boss who knocks Turner off.  Truck becomes a constant target, and when one of his loved ones is accidentally murdered, Turner turns the tables, and goes after his assassins, led by sophisticated pimp Harvard Blue (Kotto). 

Even though in many ways it's a shame to see talented actors like Hayes, Kotto and Nichols acting up a storm in such exploitation, they seem to "get" the material and not take it too seriously, and, propelled by Kaplan's spirited direction, they do a good job.  Kaplan and scribes Oscar Williams and Michael Allin make sure there's a chase or a shootout every ten minutes or so, and Hayes' score, while not quite up to SHAFT standards, is pretty funky (it was released as a double LP on the Enterprise label).  Kaplan had previously directed a pair of sex comedies for Roger Corman and a Jim Brown action film for MGM, and, despite the high energy level and sharp sense of humor he displays here, it would be awhile before he finally caught up to the mainstream.  From the director of THE ACCUSED.  Also with Sam Laws, Paul Harris, John Kramer, Stan Shaw, Charles Cyphers, Scatman Crothers and Dick Miller.  Released by American International Pictures.  The lovely Chase, who was also in THE MACK and plays Hayes's love interest, played his daughter (!) in an episode of THE ROCKFORD FILES.

TRUE BLUE (2001)--Directed by J.S. Cardone.  Stars Tom Berenger, Lori Heuring.  Berenger looks old, fat and tired in this uninspiring direct-to-video crime drama with the usual doublecrosses and plot twists.  Rembrandt Macy (Berenger) is a lonely, chainsmoking, burned-out cop investigating a human hand found floating in a lake.  He eventually traces the digits back to their owner, a young woman who was working for powerful city officials and may also have been involved in prostitution.  Believing her roommate Nikki (Heuring) to be in danger, Macy invites the sexy blond to hide out at his apartment, where he begins a torrid, too-good-to-be-true sexual relationship.  Meanwhile, more bodies turn up, Macy confronts a Chinese drug ring and Cardone's story begins its familiar trip down Film Noir Lane.  If not for Heuring's pneumatic bod, it would be difficult to understand Macy's obsession with Nikki, since she's neither charismatic nor interesting.  The cast tries, I suppose, but you've seen all this before.  Pamela Gidley, Barry Newman, Soon Teck-Oh and Leo Lee also star.

TRUE CONFESSIONS (1981)--Directed by Ulu Grosbard.  Stars Robert DeNiro, Robert Duvall, Charles Durning.  Based on John Gregory Dunne's novel, TRUE CONFESSIONS stars DeNiro and Duvall as estranged brothers who become involved in the horrible murder of a so-called "party girl" during the 1940s.  Duvall is a slightly crooked cop who investigates the murder, in which the victim was cut in two and dumped in an L.A. vacant lot (loosely based on the notorious Black Dahlia case).  DeNiro is a monsignor whose ambition to move up in the Catholic hierarchy has led him to do favors for wealthy congregation members, such as Jack Amsterdam (Durning), a former hood who now runs a successful construction business...successful because of the jobs building Catholic schools that DeNiro keeps throwing his way.

Even though the story is centered around a brutal murder, the movie isn't really about it, and if you're looking for an absorbing mystery, TRUE CONFESSIONS isn't the movie. It is, however, a great showcase for two of America's finest actors, at least at that time.  Both DeNiro and Duvall have a tendency to either overact or sleepwalk through projects that don't interest them, but not in this case.  They are marvelous in TRUE CONFESSIONS, particularly in a poignant final scene in which the brothers finally become closer than they have ever been.  In addition to Durning, Ed Flanders, Burgess Meredith and Kenneth McMillan are quite good, and an actress named Rose Gregorio, of whom I know next to nothing, is superb as a middle-aged whore with whom Duvall has a history.   TRUE CONFESSIONS isn't a forgotten classic or anything like that.  It's slow-moving and nowhere near as interested in its crime plot as I think it should be, but it's of some interest, especially if you're a fan of superlative screen acting.

TRUE CRIME (1999)--Directed by Clint Eastwood. Stars Clint Eastwood, James Woods, Denis Leary, Isaiah Washington. Not one of Clint's best, this diverting thriller (based on Andrew Kleven's novel) stars Clint as a burned-out, philandering screwup of a newspaper reporter named Steve Everett, whos assigned to interview a convicted murderer (Washington) due to be executed at midnight. After reviewing the case and speaking to Washington, Everett becomes convinced of the man's innocence, and begins a race against the clock to gather enough evidence to clear him, much to the chagrin of uptight city editor Leary (whose wife is sleeping with Everett) and profane boss Woods.

Much screen time is devoted to examining Everett's character (a hot-shot NYC reporter before being railroaded out of town for sleeping with the boss's underage daughter, he smokes too much, drinks too much and neglects his wife and daughter); maybe too much time, since the film's leisurely pace and lack of action are detrimental to what is supposed to be a suspense thriller. You gotta like Eastwood's style--as a director, he doesn't try to be cutting edge or rely on MTV trickery to keep his audience engaged. He's one of Hollywood's best pure storytellers, and while he may ramble on at times, it's usually a pleasant journey. Also with Diane Venora, Lisa Gay Hamilton, Frances Fisher, Francesca Eastwood-Fisher, Michael Jeter, Dina Ruiz, William Windom, Anthony Zerbe, Mary McCormack, Laila Robins and Sydney Poitier. Music by Lennie Niehaus.

TRUE GRIT (1969)--Directed by Henry Hathaway. Stars John Wayne, Kim Darby, Glen Campbell. The Duke won his first and only Academy Award for his portrayal of hard-living, one-eyed Marshall "Rooster" Cogburn. Cogburn teams up with a straight-arrow Texas Ranger (country singer Campbell) and a spirited young girl (Darby) to capture the man who murdered Darby's father. Campbell is amiable enough, but he sure isn't an actor; his woodenness is more than balanced by Wayne's over-the-top work and performances by an expert supporting cast. Plenty of old-fashioned shootouts to keep you interested. Also with Jeff Corey, Dennis Hopper, Robert Duvall, Strother Martin and Jeremy Slate. Based on a novel by Charles Portis. Director Hathaway was 71 years old at the time.

TRUE LIES (1994)--Directed by James Cameron. Stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Bill Paxton, Tom Arnold. Some interesting ideas and stunning action sequences are offset by some disturbing misogyny, resulting in a (very popular) mixed bag. In some nice casting, Arnie plays regular guy Harry Tasker, a dull computer salesman with a sweet wife (Curtis) and daughter. What his family doesnt know is that Harry is actually a government agent chasing Arab terrorists who want to explode a nuclear bomb. About one-third of the way in, a disturbing subplot begins with Paxton as a sleazy used-car salesman who picks up the bored Curtis for an adulterous fling. She doesn't go through with it, but to teach her a lesson, Schwarzenegger has her kidnapped and forced to strip before a complete stranger (so she thinks). Curtis has an amazing body, and it's an eyepopping sequence on a visceral level, but her humiliation and control at the hands of her own husband is disturbing, and it's hard for us to forgive Schwarzenegger and Cameron for this. The Bond-like opening and ending sequences are pretty exciting though, and Arnold gets lots of laughs as Schwarzenegger's sidekick. Also with (a gorgeous) Tia Carrere, Art Malik, Eliza Dushku and Charlton Heston as Schwarzenegger's Nick Fury-like boss. Music by Brad Fiedel. Cameron's next feature was TITANIC.

TRUE ROMANCE (1993)--Directed by Tony Scott. Stars Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Gary Oldman. Quentin Tarantino was supposed to make this his directing debut. It didn't pan out, but Scott's vision of Tarantino's script is mostly on target, and, despite a pair of dull leads and too much violence, it's probably Scott's best film. Slater is a lonely guy who works in a comic book store who meets sweet hooker Arquette and takes her to an all-night Sonny Chiba marathon. They get involved with a vicious pimp (Oldman), steal his stash, and take off for California, running into a number of memorable characters along the way. The supporting cast is marvelous, with Dennis Hopper as Slater's ex-cop father and Christopher Walken as the gangster who murders him (in one of the decade's best movie scenes) coming off best. Also with Brad Pitt, Michael Rapaport (as an actor who thinks his big break will be a guest shot on T.J. HOOKER!), Samuel L. Jackson, Saul Rubinek, Bronson Pinchot, Christopher Penn, Tom Sizemore and Val Kilmer as the ghost of Elvis Presley!

THE TRUMAN SHOW (1998)--Directed by Peter Weir. Stars Jim Carrey, Laura Linney, Ed Harris. Startlingly original drama which provided a breakthrough role for comedian Carrey, who plays Truman Burbank, a mild-mannered man who lives a normal but dull existence in a suburban Florida town with his best friend, a job selling insurance, and a bland but sweet wife (Linney). What he doesn't know (but everyone else does) is that he is the star of THE TRUMAN SHOW, a worldwide cable television reality show that captures his every move for the viewing pleasure of its audience. Truman's whole world is really a gigantic television studio, and everyone in his life--including his parents and wife--are paid actors. Harris plays Cristof, the show's omnipotent creator and executive producer.

The screenplay by New Zealander Andrew Niccol is remarkably prescient (trash talk shows like JERRY SPRINGER are not too far from the TRUMAN concept), and Weir's visual sense really pulls it off. Using weird camera angles, bright photography, and surreal set design, Truman's world is unlike anything weve ever seen outside of a '50s TV sitcom (which, of course, THE TRUMAN SHOW kind of is). Carrey's performance is beyond anything most of his audience has seen him do--none of his ACE VENTURA antics are on display here--and it is a gentle and strong performance. Also with Noah Emmerich. Some of the music was by Philip Glass, who also appears briefly.

THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS (1996)--Directed by Michael Lehmann. Stars Uma Thurman, Janeane Garofalo, Ben Chaplin. This cute romantic comedy is basically another retelling of CYRANO. Garofalo plays Abby, a plain-Jane veterinarian who becomes attracted to a caller (Chaplin) to her afternoon radio phone-in show. Although Abby is sweet, sensitive and witty, she lacks self-confidence because of what she perceives as her physical plainness, so she recruits her leggy neighbor (Thurman), a model, to substitute for her on her date with Chaplin.

The movie rests on the charms of its stars, and although Brit Chaplin is rather bland, he works well with Thurman and Garofalo. Garofalo, a stand-up comedian who has had supporting roles in such films as BYE BYE LOVE and REALITY BITES, is a real revelation here; the character is supposed to be a woman who is less than attractive physically (of course, Garofalo is quite pretty), but she's just so darned charming that we don't understand why Chaplin doesn't immediately fall for her instead of the gorgeous but vapid Thurman, who, to her credit, does not play her model character as a dumb blonde.

TUAREG THE DESERT WARRIOR (1984)--Directed by Enzo G. Castellari.  Stars Mark Harmon, Antonio Sabato.  American TV star Harmon is woefully out of place as a Bedouin warrior who attacks a bunch of Middle Eastern soldiers in search of some people kidnapped from his village.  Very slow and talky with a few--but not nearly enough--of Castellari's patented action scenes, complete with stuntmen on trampolines flying over explosions. 

TUFF TURF (1985)--Directed by Fritz Kiersch. Stars James Spader, Kim Richards, Paul Mones. A very '80s teenage gang picture about new-kid-in-school Spaders attempts to fit in. A lot of fighting and dancing ensues. Richards is quite hot as the bad girl. Also with Robert Downey Jr., Matt Clark and Cat Sassoon. From the director of CHILDREN OF THE CORN.

TURBULENCE 3: HEAVY METAL (2001)--Directed by Jorge Montesi.  Stars Craig Sheffer, Gabrielle Anwar, Joe Mantegna, John Mann.  A cult of devil worshippers hijacks a passenger plane that's broadcasting the first-ever in-flight rock concert.  Heavy metal rocker Slade Craven (Mann), based somewhat on Marilyn Manson, is performing his farewell show on a Boeing 747 on a path from L.A. to Toronto.  The lead hijacker is Simon Flanders (Mann), coincidentally an exact double of Craven, who bops the real rock star on his head and replaces him.  Flanders' plan is to crash the 747 in Kansas, which is the gateway to Hell or some such crazy nonsense.  The fate of the passengers lies in the hands of Nick Watts (Sheffer), an overage computer hacker in the custody of FBI agent Kate Hayden (Anwar).  There are signs that Wade Ferley's screenplay is supposed to be funny, but the film plays so ineptly that it's hard to say for certain.  Surely the finale, in which Nick is enlisted to talk the inexperienced substitute pilot through a crash landing because of the hacker's expertise in playing computer flight simulators, isn't to be taken seriously.  Is it?  Rutger Hauer shows up for about five minutes, and Sheffer and Anwar are never convincing as computer experts, law enforcement agents or even intelligent human beings.  Much of the flying footage appears to be stock footage from earlier TURBULENCE movies, which probably explains why this dumb film even exists.  Despite his relatively unknown status, Mann actually delivers the best performance by far.

TURK 182! (1985)--Directed by Bob Clark. Stars Timothy Hutton, Kim Cattrall, Robert Urich, Darren McGavin, Robert Culp, Peter Boyle. A goofy premise and an offbeat cast enliven this gentle revenge tale. The city of New York refuses to help out when fireman Urich is disabled in the line of duty. As revenge, Urich's brother Hutton scribbles embarrassing graffiti all over the city, culminating in the disruption of an important ceremony on the Queensboro Bridge. Cattrall plays Hutton's cute love interest; Culp is the self-important mayor. Not bad, but not memorable either. From the director of A CHRISTMAS STORY.

TURKEY SHOOT (1981)--Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith.  Stars Steve Railsback, Olivia Hussey, Michael Craig.  This brutal Australian action movie was ravaged by critics Down Under who weren't used to seeing such homegrown malice and gory mayhem on their screens.  In the United States, more than ten minutes of violence were snipped out of the picture by New World Pictures before it hit theaters as the R-rated ESCAPE 2000.  Many of those who worked it, including director Trenchard-Smith (DEAD-END DRIVE-IN), appear embarrassed to have contributed to it, although Anchor Bay Entertainment's DVD, which provides American audiences with the opportunity to see it uncensored (and with its original title) for the first time, reveals TURKEY SHOOT to be a pretty lively variation on Richard Connell's celebrated story THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME.

Sadist Thatcher (Craig, who was in MYSTERIOUS ISLAND) is the cruel commander of a prison camp, where so-called "deviants"--those unwilling to conform to the government's will--are sentenced to be "rehabilitated" through rape and torture.  Among the newest inmates are Chris (Hussey), a beautiful innocent, and escape artist Paul (Railsback), whose antisocial behavior includes broadcasting messages of freedom over a pirate radio station.  Paul, Chris and three others are chosen for Thatcher's personal "turkey shoot", where they are released into the surrounding wilderness on foot to be hunted like game by the commandant's bloodthirsty aristocrat friends.

Trenchard-Smith could have used a bigger budget (I like my explosions bigger and brighter than those engineered by special effects artist John Stears here), but TURKEY SHOOT is crazy, violent fun from beginning to end.  All of the performers--from Hussey's doe-in-headlights to Craig's of-course-I-know-how-silly-this-is archness--seem to be working on different wavelengths, which is a somewhat fitting approach to this comic-book Utopia of the not-too-distant future.  It's easy to understand why critics were so eager to lay into it, since the director's approach to the story's violence shows no fear of excess--machetes split skulls, hands are lopped off, multiple arrows penetrate bodies, one casualty goes down as the most impressive exploding body I've ever seen.  Trenchard-Smith claims TURKEY SHOOT to be a subtle form of black comedy, although I find it hilarious only in its over-the-top violence.  But that's good enough for me.  Also with Lynda Stoner, Roger Ward, Carmen Duncan and Gus Mercurio.  The terrible score is by Brian May (THE ROAD WARRIOR).  Trenchard-Smith's budget and shooting schedule were slashed by approximately one-third just days before principal photography.  TURKEY SHOOT was titled BLOOD CAMP THATCHER in England, hoping no doubt to capitalize on the unpopularity of ultra-conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.  Filmed in Queensland and in a Sydney park.

TURNER & HOOCH (1989)--Directed by Roger Spottiswoode. Stars Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham, Craig T. Nelson, Reginald VelJohnson, Scott Paulin. Formula cop comedy about an uptight policeman (Hanks) who is partnered with the only witness to a murder of a cop: a slobbering St. Bernard named Hooch. Hanks and Winningham are charming, but the doggie humor is lame, and the crime plot is predictable. Not to be confused with the same year's K-9. Original director Henry Winkler was fired early in the production.

THE TUXEDO (2002)--Directed by Kevin Donovan.  Stars Jackie Chan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jason Isaacs, Ritchie Coster.  Well, someone finally figured out how to make a boring Jackie Chan movie.  It turns out it wasn't so difficult after all.  All director Kevin Donovan, his four screenwriters and the rest of the DreamWorks braintrust had to do was not allow Jackie to be Jackie.

Perhaps it's a sign of Chan's advancing age (he's 48), and maybe creaky joints and fragile bones have made it more difficult, if not impossible, for him to perform the death-defying acrobatics that made him the world's number-one movie star during the 1980s in Asian action classics like PROJECT A and POLICE STORY.  Whether leaping off of tall buildings, dodging fast-moving traffic, sliding down mountains, or participating in some of Hong Kong cinema's most elaborately choreographed martial arts battles, Chan, whose lighthearted approach to action has earned him comparisons to the great silent comic Buster Keaton, is his own special effect.  Which is why it's a drag to see him flailing about in THE TUXEDO, a limp American-made spy piffle in which the God-given magic of Jackie is replaced with the digital magic of CGI technology.  Donovan (making his feature-film debut) and DreamWorks have somehow completely missed the point of a Jackie Chan movie, which is the fact that Chan, unlike any other action hero (despite what their publicists will tell you), does his own stunts.  When you see Jackie falling out of a tree in ARMOUR OF GOD and busting the back of his noggin, it's for real.  If you're going to use wires and other special effects to enhance his moves, then there's little point in hiring Jackie Chan; you might as well hire Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Oh, yeah.  They did that too.

In the most unlikely romantic pairing you're apt to see in theaters this year, the perennially perky Hewitt, age 23, plays the world's least convincing spy, nerdy Del Blaine (which is what Jackie humorously always calls her, by first and last name), who thinks she's being teamed up on her first mission with a legendary secret agent named Clark Devlin, but who is actually a New York cab driver named Jimmy Tong (Chan).  When the real Devlin (played by Jason Isaacs, who looks and sounds so much like Timothy Dalton that the Bond producers ought to add his number to their Rolodex) is incapacitated by an exploding skateboard (!), his chauffeur, Jimmy, secretly impersonates him by wearing his gadget-filled tuxedo, which makes Derek Flint's 73-uses cigarette lighter look like a Boy Scout knife.  The tux grants its wearer a seemingly infinite number of powers, including mastery of the martial arts, invulnerability and the capacity to school Deney Terrio on the disco floor.

The plot, which was partially concocted by former LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE scribe Michael Leeson, involves bottled water magnate Diedrich Banning's (Ritchie Coster) insidious plan to poison the world's drinking water by using diseased insects to touch down on the surfaces of all the reservoirs and spreading their virus.  This way, Banning would corner the market on bottled water, much as Auric Goldfinger hoped to increase the value of his bullion after exploding a nuclear bomb within Fort Knox.  Coster, who resembles the result of a breeding between Bill Murray and Randy Quaid, seems to be the only performer who knows how silly THE TUXEDO is, and relishes the chance to gnash his teeth a bit.  Hewitt ("What's with the jumpy-jumpy?") is way over her head, miscast as she is as someone out of high school, and appearing comfortable only when flashing her cleavage. 

As for Jackie Chan, he's never been well served by American filmmakers.  His big break was in, of all things, THE CANNONBALL RUN, in which he laid flat a biker gang led by Peter Fonda.  A few more Hollywood pictures followed, but none pleased critics, audiences or Chan's massive fan base, so back to Hong Kong he went until being "rediscovered" in the mid-1990s.  Usually cast as the goofy sidekick to less charming performers like Chris Tucker, Jackie still hasn't found the perfect vehicle for his talents, perhaps because Hollywood won't allow him the same freedom he enjoys in his homeland, where he's also an accomplished director.  At his age, maybe he's earned the right to coast on his legend for awhile, but many fans are hoping he has one great mainstream action film left inside of him.  Too bad THE TUXEDO isn't it.  Also with Peter Stormare, Mia Cottet, Debi Mazar, the great James Brown and an unbilled Bob Balaban.  Music by John Debney and Christophe Beck.  Filmed in Toronto.

12 ANGRY MEN (1957)--Directed by Sidney Lumet. Stars Henry Fonda, Lee J. Cobb, Ed Begley. Terrific drama about a 12-man jury reaching a verdict on a case involving a Puerto Rican boy accused of killing his father. Eleven men vote "guilty" right away, but liberal juror Fonda votes "not guilty". Fonda hacks away at the jurors' sensibilities and prejudices one by one, until all eleven change their vote. Entire film is set in one room, but Lumet (his first film) keeps it from becoming claustrophobic. Crackling dialogue by Reginald Rose is made even better by a sterling all-star cast including Jack Klugman, Jack Warden, Robert Webber, John Fiedler, George Voskovec, Joseph Sweeney, Martin Balsam, E.G. Marshall and Edward Binns.

TWELVE MONKEYS (1995)--Directed by Terry Gilliam. Stars Bruce Willis, Madeline Stowe, Brad Pitt. Thought-provoking and visually stimulating sci-fi starring Willis as a futuristic prisoner sent back in time to our present to track down the source of a virus that destroyed his civilization. Or is it all a figment of his crazed imagination? In our present, he meets a compassionate psychiatrist (Stowe) who helps him in his quest and a mental patient (Pitt) whose scientist father may or may not be the originator of the killer plague. As you can see, there are a lot of unanswered questions here, which is unusual for a film targeted at mainstream audiences. Pitt's over-the-top performance is probably the film's weakest link (I know, I know, he's supposed to be a crazed lunatic, but I just found his character to be annoying comic relief). Climax is pretty exciting, although the "twist" ending won't come as much surprise. Interesting screenplay by Oscar-winner David Peoples (UNFORGIVEN) and Janet Peoples is based on a French film of the '60s. Also with Christopher Plummer and Frank Gorshin, TV's Riddler.

12:01 (1993)--Directed by Jack Sholder.  Stars Jonathan Silverman, Helen Slater, Martin Landau, Jeremy Piven.  This clever made-for-cable movie is unfortunately way too reminiscent of GROUNDHOG DAY for its own good, taking much of the drama out of its central conceit.  It's actually based on a short film called 12:01 P.M. which probably predates the Bill Murray hit, but anyone who has seen GROUNDHOG will be able to predict much of what happens here.  That's a shame, because 12:01 is well-made and capably performed by a likable cast. 

Silverman (WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S) plays Barry Thomas, a regular schlep with a dull job in the personnel department of a large thinktank where Dr. Thadius Moxley (Landau) is developing a "super-accelerator" that, if it doesn't work correctly, could theoretically create some sort of "time bounce".  After a day in which Barry is nagged by his officious boss, terrorized by his practical-joking co-worker Howard (Piven), rebuffed after a miserable first meeting with Lisa (Slater), Moxley's pretty associate on whom Barry has a lingering from-a-distance crush, and downright dejected after witnessing Lisa being murdered in the street right after work, you wouldn't think things could get any worse.  But they do, when Barry awakens the following morning to discover that yesterday is happening all over again.  Can Barry save the girl of his dreams from dying this time?

Although directed by Sholder (THE HIDDEN) with a very light touch, 12:01 is primarily a thriller with romantic overtones, eschewing a hard scientific explanation for the time bounce.  The super-accelerator works because, well, just because, alright.  Philip Morton's teleplay manages to avoid any major plotholes--always a danger in stories involving time travel--and make his characters smart enough to be believable in an unbelievable situation.  Barry, the only person who realizes that Tuesday is repeating itself, understands what's happening at just the right time; it's always frustrating when movie characters take too long to figure out what's going on, no matter how absurd the situation may be.  Silverman is a lightweight, but he handles the material well enough, capably backed up by the suitably wide-eyed Slater, solid Landau, and scene-stealing Piven (who may have been a more interesting choice as the lead).

Much of the film's humor comes in the methods Barry uses to convince his co-workers what's happening, and Morton and Sholder accurately capture the drabness of office life.  Unfortunately, all of it was done earlier--and better--in GROUNDHOG DAY, which also had its protagonist use his unique situation to sleep with a pretty woman.  Sholder spices up the action with a car chase and a fistfight finale, but 12:01's charm is in its performances and clever plot.  Also with Glenn Morshower, Nicolas Surovy, Robin Bartlett, Danny Trejo, Constance Marie and Paxton Whitehead.  This was Landau's third film with Sholder, after ALONE IN THE DARK and BY DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT.

28 DAYS (2000)--Directed by Betty Thomas. Stars Sandra Bullock, Viggo Mortensen, Dominic West. After busting up her sister's wedding in a drunken stupor and smashing a stolen limo through somebody's front porch, Gwen (Bullock) is sentenced to a rehabilitation clinic that more closely resembles summer camp. There she meets a whole bundle of implausible characters--including a 17-year-old junkie (the delightfully named Azura Skye), a grumpy doctor (Reni Santoni), a wiseass sex addict (Mike O'Malley) and a gay German (Alan Tudyk) who cries a lot--and, after an initial period of denial and defiance, manages to come to grips with her addiction much too easily, making the story seem inconsequential. I never for one second believed rehab was anything like it's portrayed here, and if recovering from alcoholism is such a simple task, why devote an entire feature to it?

Bullock is out of her depth here; she plays her drunk scenes with all the subtlety of Foster Brooks on Ritalin, and she isn't helped by a character that exists only as an addict. We don't know anything about her life, except that she has an estranged relationship with her older sister (Elizabeth Perkins) and an irresponsible English boyfriend, Jasper (Dominic West), who definitely falls into the category of Bad Influence. Late in the game, director Betty Thomas (PRIVATE PARTS) attempts to shoehorn in a flirtation between Gwen and a big-league pitcher played by Viggo Mortensen, but it's as shallow as the rest of the movie. It's always a treat to see the great Steve Buscemi, who pops up oh-so-briefly as Gwen's counselor, but 28 DAYS is a waste of time.  Also with Diane Ladd, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Margo Martindale and folksinger Loudon Wainwright III as a guitar guy who serves as a sort of Greek chorus. Music by Richard Gibbs.

28 DAYS LATER... (2002)--Directed by Danny Boyle.  Stars Cillian Murphy, Christopher Eccleston, Brendan Gleeson, Naomie Harris, Megan Burns.  28 days after animal-rights activists release several virus-ridden chimps from their cages, bicycle messenger Jim (Murphy) awakens from a coma to discover a London empty of people.  While wandering deserted streets, he encounters Selena (Harris), who tells him that the population of England was all but decimated by the virus and the few survivors must beware of the "infected", zombie-like killers who vomit blood on their victims and either kill them or turn them into raging machines like themselves.  Teaming up with an amiable man (Gleeson) and his young daughter (Burns), the group sets out for a military roadblock near Manchester, where they hope to find more survivors like themselves.

I was quite disappointed, and I think my disappointment mainly rises from the fact that I didn't get the movie I thought I was getting. Or at least the movie the trailers and early buzz indicated.  What I thought would be a balls-to-the-wall zombie movie actually turned out to be a solemn end-of-the-world drama with a meek bicycle messenger improbably picking off a large group of trained, armed soldiers. It isn't a scary movie and it isn't very well made. The ending certainly smacks of reshoots and studio interference, but I liked it. It's just ambiguous enough that it allows the audience to leave with whatever feeling it wants. I chose to believe in a happy ending, which is what I think the characters deserved.

The film also looks terrible. If digital video is the future of cinema, then let me off at the next stop. 28 DAYS LATER is murky, blurry, smeary and gritty, and  Boyle's direction is confusing. Why all the closeups--this is a film, not a TV show? Too much camera jiggling, which served only to frustrate an audience that wants to actually see what's going on, not try to figure it out later. I understand that budget restrictions may have forced Boyle to shoot in DV (although one would think a filmmaker of his reputation could film however he wanted), but I'm sure he had enough dough left over to purchase a decent tripod.  Music by John Murphy.

28 WEEKS LATER (2007)—Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo.  Stars Robert Carlyle, Imogen Poots, Mackintosh Muggleston, Jeremy Renner.  This is a terrible movie.  Will Zens is a better storyteller than Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, and somebody needs to buy this guy a tripod.  I had no idea what was going on during most of the attacks, because the camera was shaking around and was zoomed into all the actors' nose hairs.  It's so dully shot. Every conversation is closeup, closeup, closeup...back up, man, we're not watching a TV show.

I challenge you to name any of the characters outside of Donald (Carlyle), the kids Tammy (Poots) and Andy (Muggleston), and Doyle (Renner). Every 15 minutes, the movie introduces a new set of characters for us to identify with (and a brand new storyline to go with them), but doesn't tell us anything about them. Who was the dude hanging onto the helicopter, and why was he sad when the old woman got shot? I dunno (for that matter, why didn't Doyle just radio his pal on the roof and tell him not to shoot?). How is it possible for two people to roll down the same escalator, yet somehow fall out of shouting distance from each other?

Most importantly, what is this movie about? It doesn't advance the overall arc any. Is it about a father who considers himself a coward and must work towards redemption? No. Is it about finding the one carrier in the entire world and using her to manufacture a cure? No. Is it about a small group of strangers setting up a makeshift society in a barricaded facility? No. Is it about civilization starting up again after a major disaster and trying to create a new government and infrastructure? No. It's never explained why someone thought it would be a good idea to return people to London, where said people came from, why these particular 15,000 (we only see a couple hundred), how it's decided where they live, where their money comes from, etc. Is it just about zombies attacking people? Maybe. If I could actually see any zombies attacking anyone, I'd know for sure. There are about a dozen interesting stories that could be told here, and Fresnadillo decided to tell none instead.  And what's up with the score? Did somebody decide to play a Nine Inch Nails album at double speed?  When the most interesting scene in the movie is ripped off from PLANET TERROR, you know it's in trouble.

20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA (1954)--Directed by Richard Fleischer. Stars Kirk Douglas, James Mason, Peter Lorre, Paul Lukas. The greatest of producer Walt Disney's adventure films. Rugged Douglas, scholarly Lukas and sidekick Lorre are taken hostage aboard the Nautilus, a 19th-century sub commanded by the villainous Captain Nemo (Mason). The scene everyone remembers best is Douglas's clash with a fierce giant squid. Based on Jules Verne's classic story. Great fun.

2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS (1982)--Directed by Joe D’Amato.  Stars Al Cliver, Peter Hooten, Sabrina Siani, Donald O’Brien.  This hilarious Italian retread of THE ROAD WARRIOR has killer Nazis and bikers stalking a sexy blond woman (Siani) after the Apocalypse.  Saddled with one of the most incomprehensible plots I've ever encountered, 2020 is extremely entertaining and never dull.  It's full of violent action and laughable dialogue, as the storyline changes direction several times in its attempt to eat up 97 minutes with nudity, crazy stuntwork and over-the-top acting.  It's basically about some good settlers who take over a post-nuke refinery and repair it for...something.  It's not clear exactly what they're doing, except everyone is peaceful, busy and happy.  That is until bald Nazi Donald O'Brien and his biker gang rolls in and either kills everyone or turns them into slaves in their salt mines.

As I said, the story is malleable, enabling director D'Amato to ripoff THE DEER HUNTER's Russian Roulette scene and introduce a tribe of Native Americans who help the hero (American actor Hooten, who once played Dr. Strange in a TV pilot) and his sidekicks conquer O'Brien's forces, who include stormtroopers with energy shields that deflect bullets but not the Indians' arrows and spears.  There’s tons of action and laughable dialogue, Siani is extremely beautiful to look at, and, although I didn’t know what was going on most of the time, I was certainly never bored.  The word “explosives” is misspelled “esxplosives” on some prop crates, exposing the movie’s foreign origin.  With Harrison Muller, Daniel Stephen and Al Yamanouchi. 

TWILIGHT (1998)--Directed by Robert Benton. Stars Paul Newman, Susan Sarandon, Gene Hackman, James Garner. A stellar cast highlights this run-of-the-mill detective story set in Los Angeles. Newman is an ex-cop-turned-private eye who lives in a mansion belonging to movie stars Hackman and Sarandon after doing a job for Hackman two years earlier. He walks with a limp after being shot in the groin on that assignment, and is very similar to the aimless character Newman played in his Oscar-nominated NOBODY'S FOOL. Hackman gives Newman an envelope filled with money to give to a woman, which spins the detective into an elaborate plot involving murder, blackmail, and the mysterious death of Sarandon's first husband twenty years earlier. The story is just routine, but you don't get many chances to see actors of this caliber (and this generation) on screen together. Garner plays a detective friend of Newman, and their real-life friendship brings out something extra on the big screen. Also with Stockard Channing, Liev Schrieber, Giancarlo Esposito and Reese Witherspoon, who has nude scenes. Music by Elmer Bernstein.

THE TWILIGHT PEOPLE (1972)--Directed by Eddie Romero.  Stars John Ashley, Pat Woodell, Charles Macauley, Jan Merlin.  In 1959, Romero produced a pretty good ISLAND OF LOST SOULS ripoff called TERROR IS A MAN, which starred Richard Derr and was directed by Gerardo de Leon.  13 years later, Romero directed his own Dr. Moreau-styled horror movie and co-produced it with his star John Ashley.  Ashley is Matt Farrell, who is kidnapped while scuba diving and taken to a remote island somewhere near the Philippines.  He discovers that a mad scientist named Gordon (Macauley) and his ex-Nazi henchman Steinman (Merlin) are involved in diabolical experiments to create their own master race by turning animals into human beings.  Farrell falls for the scientist's daughter (Woodell), who assists him in escaping and setting the experimental subjects free.  Romero does well considering his low budget, and the special makeup effects on the "Bat Man", "Antelope Man", "Wolf Woman" and "Panther Woman" (played by Pam Grier!) are surprisingly effective.  Ashley and Romero teamed up to make several jungle-set horror movies in the Philippines, most of which were released either by Dimension (as this one was) or New World.  The nifty animated titles, set against lush underwater photography, neglects to list H.G. Wells, although it's obvious what this movie's inspiration is.

TWILIGHT ZONE--THE MOVIE (1982)--Directed by John Landis, Steven Spielberg, Joe Dante, George Miller. Stars Dan Aykroyd, Albert Brooks, Vic Morrow, Scatman Crothers, Kathleen Quinlan, John Lithgow. Like most anthology films, this homage to Rod Serling's classic television series is hit-and-miss. After an inventive and funny prologue featuring Aykroyd and Brooks, the Landis-directed first segment stars Morrow in a preachy but thoughtful tale of a bigot who finds himself lost in time; he's a Jew in Nazi Germany, a black at a KKK rally, a Viet Cong soldier in the Vietnam War. Spielberg's second segment is an overly sugary remake of the "Kick the Can" episode with Crothers as a nursing home resident urging his fellow senior citizens to become young again. Segment three, directed by Dante, is a goofy tale of a young boy with evil supernatural powers featuring interesting sets and Rob Bottin makeup effects. Miller hit the jackpot with a remake of "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" with Lithgow properly sweaty in the William Shatner role of a man who sees a gremlin-like creature on the wing of the airplane in which he is flying. Film's release was marred by the tragic death of Morrow in a helicopter accident during filming. Also featuring familiar sci-fi vets William Schallert, Kevin McCarthy and Billy Mumy (LOST IN SPACE). Narrated by Burgess Meredith. The good score is by Jerry Goldsmith, who also worked on the original series.

TWILIGHT'S LAST GLEAMING (1977)--Directed by Robert Aldrich.  Stars Burt Lancaster, Richard Widmark, Charles Durning.  With the United States embroiled in another war with, in the eyes of many around the world, dubious motives, this taut political thriller is just as timely today as it was when originally released just two years after the fall of Saigon.  It's hard to imagine a mainstream thriller with such a blatant political slant hitting multiplexes today.  Of course, it's also hard to imagine a thriller this skillful and suspenseful playing in theaters in this age of slick action fodder.

Former Air Force general Lawrence Dell (Lancaster), five years a prisoner of war in Vietnam and currently incarcerated on a trumped-up murder charge in a Montana prison, breaks out, along with three other death row inmates, and infiltrates "Silo 3", an ICBM silo containing nine nuclear missiles.  In exchange for not starting World War III, Dell demands $10 million in cash, safe passage to another country aboard Air Force One and, oh yes, that the President of the United States, David Stevens (Durning), announce to the world details of a secret meeting of high-placed government officials that would reveal the true reason for America's involvement in Vietnam.  As President Stevens and his advisors decide how the American people will react to the shocking truth, hawkish General MacKenzie (Widmark) plans to strike at Dell using military force and doesn't care who gets in his way.

Based upon a novel by Walter Wager (who also penned DIE HARD 2's source), the screenplay by Ronald M. Cohen and Edward Huebsch adds the political polemic that makes the film more than just a tightly constructed suspenser.  What may have seemed farfetched in 1977 has become prophetic in the decades since, now that we know the U.S. Government's decision to keep sending troops to fight in Vietnam was indeed a mistake.  (Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara admitted as much in his autobiography, and I kept thinking how much of TWILIGHT'S he would consider to be non-fiction.)  Where the script fumbles is in the details; the base seems childishly easy to break into with just a few (not too bright) guards blocking Lancaster's path, and Widmark's character seems too simpleminded in his reticence to take Lancaster's threat seriously. 

Those story holes and others are easily forgotten, however, amid the edge-of-the-seat suspense Aldrich wrings out of the script and the tightly controlled performances by the extraordinary cast.  Lancaster stands out, of course, as the paranoid yet mannered terrorist, a man who wants only for the government for which he fought and went to a POW camp to stand up and admit its wrongdoing--to be a "standup guy", in effect.  Dell is unhinged, but respectful, intelligent and even sensitive.  He's more than matched by Durning in the film's best performance, an honest man who wasn't in charge during the Vietnam years (the film is set in 1981), but is willing to accept the responsibility for the sins of his "fathers".  Joining these men are Joseph Cotten, Melvyn Douglas, Gerald S. O'Loughlin, Paul Winfield, Burt Young, Richard Jaeckel, Charles McGraw, Leif Erickson, William Marshall, Charles Aidman, William Smith, Simon Scott, Roscoe Lee Browne, Ed Bishop, John Ratzenberger and Morgan Paull.  Some sources list Vera Miles in the cast, but she isn't in the print that I saw, released on home video by Key Video.  Music by Jerry Goldsmith.  Allied Artists released this independently financed feature, which was shot in Munich partially using German funds.  Aldrich directed THE CHOIRBOYS (also with Durning) the same year.

TWIN DRAGON ENCOUNTER (1986)--Directed by Paul Dunlop.  Stars Martin McNamara, Michael McNamara, B. Bob.  “You got to fight for your right to fight,” screams the hilarious theme to this awful Canadian action movie.  TWIN DRAGON ENCOUNTER stars Michael and Martin McNamara, two real-life twin brothers and kung fu instructors in Canada with curly hair and mustaches. They apparently thought they could also make movies, and this was their first. They play Michael and Martin McNamara, two tools who take their girlfriends on a rustic vacation in the woods, where they encounter punker survivalists who mess with them and kidnap their women. The brothers return from fishing to find their girlfriends gone, but just think the girls are hiding to play a trick on them. Hours go by, and the twins only figure out something is wrong when one discovers that the poster of themselves they have hanging in their cabin is missing.  One scene finds the girls wearing bikinis pleading with their boyfriends to come swimming, but the McNamaras are too busy cutting wood, shirtless, with an old-fashioned two-man hacksaw. "Leave us alone, we've got work to do!"  TWIN DRAGON ENCOUNTER is not very good, mainly because the brothers, despite their background, are shitty fighters, and it shows in the dumbass decision to shoot the fights in clunky slow-mo. The sequel, which is more like a remake, DRAGON HUNT, is better in this regard. It still sucks, but not as much as TWIN DRAGON ENCOUNTER.

TWISTED (2004)--Directed by Philip Kaufman.  Stars Ashley Judd, Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia, David Strathairn.  Ugh.  If you're still watching these junky Judd thrillers, there's little hope for you.  KISS THE GIRLS, HIGH CRIMES, EYE OF THE BEHOLDER, DOUBLE JEOPARDY...and this twisted tale, which is a career nadir for Kaufman, a sensitive, artistic filmmaker whose work includes THE RIGHT STUFF, THE INCREDIBLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS.  Kaufman hasn't brought anything to the table, pasting Sarah Thorp's ludicrous screenplay right on the screen and allowing Judd to fumble her way through a role in which she's terribly miscast.

As Jessica Shepard, Ashley is a rough, tough San Francisco homicide detective who spends her evenings A) getting drunk, B) picking up one-night stands and C) sometimes all of the above.  On her first murder case, she and her new partner Mike Delmarco (Garcia, looking a lot like Anthony LaPaglia these days) investigate a man who was found washed up on the beach with his face all smashed in.  Jessica recognizes him as Bob, a guy she picked up and had sex with about a month earlier.  Bodies continue to pile up around the Bay Area, all of whom belonging to men Jessica has slept with.  So who's the serial killer?  Her mentor, the police commissioner (Jackson)?  An old boyfriend?  One of the misogynist cops in her precinct?  Her shrink (Strathairn)?  Maybe it's Mike, who has the hots for her.

Truthf