STILL OF THE NIGHT (1982)—Directed by Robert Benton.  Stars Meryl Streep, Roy Scheider, Josef Sommer.  Writer/director Benton, coming off a double Oscar win for KRAMER VS. KRAMER, apes Hitchcock in this frigid thriller.  SPELLBOUND and NORTH BY NORTHWEST are the most obvious swipes, but the movie goes beyond homage, resulting in a flat-out Hitchcock rip similar to Brian DePalma's, but definitely more sedate.  It's not completely successful as a thriller, because the actors are too insular and the story not really all that thrilling, but Benton pulls off a couple of really creepy scenes.  Streep wouldn't be my first choice to play Kim Novak/Tippi Hedren/Grace Kelly, but she's blond and cool, and that's obviously what Benton was looking for.  Likewise, Scheider, a physical actor, seems miscast trapped inside a reactive character.  I was glad to finally see the movie after years of wanting to, but I prefer the excess of, say, BODY DOUBLE to the icy class of STILL OF THE NIGHT.

Scheider plays a lonely psychiatrist who becomes involved when a patient (Sommer) is murdered.  He finds himself drawn to the victim’s mistress (Streep), who may be the killer.  STILL OF THE NIGHT was filmed as STAB, but retitled before release.  Miraculously, there has never been a horror movie, not to mention any movie of any genre, titled STAB.  Outside of SCREAM 2's movie-within-a-movie, that is.  Now how is it that, out of dozens of slasher flicks, nobody ever called one STAB?  Also with Jessica Tandy, Sara Botsford and Joe Grifasi.  Music by John Kander.

THE STING (1973)--Directed by George Roy Hill.  Stars Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Robert Shaw, Charles Durning, Ray Walston, Harold Gould.  This enormously popular caper comedy won seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Director, and Screenplay (by David S. Ward).  Conman Newman and protégé Redford concoct an elaborate plan to scam a fortune from '30s Chicago gangster Shaw.  The stars are incredibly charming, and you'll never guess some of the intricate twists in Ward's terrific plot.  Newman and Redford were both nominated for Best Actor, but lost to Jack Lemmon in SAVE THE TIGER.     

STING OF DEATH (1965)--Directed by William Grefe.  Stars Joe Morrison, Valerie Hawkins, John Vella, Jack Nagle.  This laugh-inducing horror movie by Florida-based filmmaker Grefe features one of the most ridiculous movie monsters ever filmed.  It makes the shaggy sheep monster of GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS look like an H.R. Giger creation.  Middle-aged scientist Richardson (Nagle), who lives in a gorgeous mansion on a private island along with his studly subordinate John (Morrison) and deformed and creepy handyman Egon (Vella), takes a break from his studies of Portuguese men o' war (re: jellyfish) to prepare for a visit from his beautiful daughter Karen (Hawkins) and four of her dishy college chums.  Karen tries to act embarrassed when John announces he's invited some kids from the mainland for a dance party, but she quickly slips into her dancing clothes for a voracious poolside frugging session, set to the strains of a dopey pop song by "Special Singing Star" Neil Sedaka: "Do the Jellyfish"!  The mixture of Sedaka's lunatic lyrics ("It's something swella/the jilla-jella jellyfish!"), the spastic "dancing" of the whitest and dorkiest teens on the planet, and Grefe's penchant for close-ups of gyrating female asses makes the "Jellyfish" scene one of horrordom's most frightening...and not because of what happens next.  One of Karen's friends decides to take a swim, putting the fun brakes on this out-of-control party train when she is attacked by a slimy, er, jellyfish monster!  That's right-an apparent half-man/half-jellyfish that blasts its way through the party, putting the "sting" on another party guest and escaping into the surrounding swamp.

No prize for guessing the monster's identity: Egon, the film's only red herring, who's doing his own secret experiments in a hidden underground cave and is transforming himself into a "jellyfish-man", both to wreak vengeance on the youngsters who mock his ghastly appearance and to win the love of the fair Karen.  Grefe wisely contains our glimpses of the jellyfish-man to feet and hands until the hilarious climax, where it's revealed to be a man-in-a-suit (built by Doug Hobart, who also "plays" the creature) with a plastic bag over his head.  And it's clearly a plastic trash bag, complete with seams.  Well, at least Hobart's consistent, as earlier we saw a large school of carnivorous jellyfish that were obviously plastic sandwich bags floating freely in the river!  Eek!  Scary!

The laughs aren't limited to the silly monster makeup.  Actor Nagle spends the whole movie running around with a large round scab on his forehead that keeps changing size (the wound actually happened to Nagle the day before shooting, so Grefe wrote it into the script).  A large yacht that sets off to sea amazingly becomes a much smaller and trashier boat as it sinks into the swamp.  And the "actionless" action finale should leave you snickering.

Clearly filmed cheaply and quickly, STING OF DEATH is relatively free of the incessant padding which mars other Grefe movies (like DEATH CURSE OF TARTU), which makes it an enjoyable experience if your tolerance for stupid monster movies is high.  STING's high body count, which leaves only a handful of cast members mobile at the end, helps in the watchability department, as does the bright color photography and crisp underwater scenes lensed by Julio Chavez (who also edited) and Julio Roldan.  The only recognizable cast member is honey-blond Deanna Lund, who soon became a regular on Irwin Allen's LAND OF THE GIANTS TV series.  Morrison appeared in Grefe's first two features, which were non-horror movies about racecar driving.  Music by Al Jacobs and Lon Norman.  I think airboats are cool for some reason; maybe because of all the reruns of GENTLE BEN I watched as a kid.

STING OF THE BLACK SCORPION (2002)--Directed by Gwyneth Gibby, Stanley Yung & Tim Andrew.  Stars Michelle Lintel, Scott Valentine, Martin Kove, Frank Gorshin, Allen Scotti.  I thought this scam had died out decades ago.  Believe it or not, once upon a time it was not unheard of for enterprising producers to cobble together two or more episodes of a popular television series and release them in theaters, tricking people into paying to see something they had already watched on television for free.  THE KARATE KILLERS (THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.), TARZAN'S JUNGLE REBELLION (the Ron Ely TARZAN series) and THE GREEN HORNET (three completely unconnected half-hour GREEN HORNET episodes released eight years later to capitalize on Bruce Lee's postmortem popularity) are just a few titles that must have pissed off more than a few unsuspecting audiences.

Leave it to Roger Corman to test those waters, albeit on a home-video scale.  STING OF THE BLACK SCORPION is a senseless and plotless mishmash of scenes from no fewer than three episodes of the Sci-Fi Channel series BLACK SCORPION.  Since each episode was an hour long (including commercials), some fancy editing was involved to cut three of them down to an 83-minute feature, meaning narrative and characterization were left on the cutting room floor in favor of clumsy fight scenes and cheap-looking chases.

In the 1990's, Joan Severance starred in a pair of BLACK SCORPION adventures made by executive producer Corman exclusively for Showtime.  In 2001, the much younger Michelle Lintel stepped into Joan's boots to play Angel City detective Darcy Walker, the daughter of a slain cop who slips into her basement lair at night, dons a fetching black leather dominatrix suit and mask, and roams the mean streets in her high-tech automobile playing vigilante as the mysterious Black Scorpion.  STING is sort of a "best of" compendium of scenes from three Sci-Fi episodes: "Armed and Dangerous", the pilot, which guest-starred Martin Kove (RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II) as flame-throwing super-villain Firearm; "Blinded By the Light" with Allen Scotti as blind Flashpoint; and "Crime Time" with the entertaining Frank Gorshin playing time-obsessed Clockwise, seeking revenge on the jurors who sentenced him to 25 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit.

STING's most obvious influence is the 1960's BATMAN TV show, not just in its casting of Gorshin ("The Riddler") as a villain, but also in its Dutch camera angles and campy tone.  Unfortunately, writer/producer Craig J. Nevius lacks the wit of BATMAN's Lorenzo Semple, Jr. or Stanley Ralph Ross, penning a series of lighthearted but leadfooted scenes that never vary from a strict structure.  Most egregious is the inclusion of a "Lois Lane" character to complement Lintel:  Scott Valentine (FAMILY TIES) as the world's stupidest cop, Darcy's partner who exists only to A) get his ass kicked by the villain so Black Scorpion can pull it out of the fire and B) fall in love with the superhero, whose secret identity he can't figure out, no matter how obvious the clues are pointing in Darcy's direction.

Lintel, a former Miss Kansas, is really quite good in the role.  She's not a great actress or martial artist, but she's sincere, pretty, likable, hard-working and pulls off the difficult task of projecting a girl-next-door approachability in a stacked supermodel's body.  Valentine is his typically lunky self, though saddled with such an unappetizing character, it's hard to blame him.  The supporting cast, a mixture of veteran character actors and PLAYBOY Playmates, ham it up in accordance of the show's tone.  The production values fail to lift the cast, however.  Corman recycles grainy stock footage from earlier releases to add some scope, but those scenes, which may have been shot in the 1980's, have nothing to do with STING's story and stand out like the padding they are.  The ugly cinematography, poor special effects and uninspiring action scenes look like the late-night syndicated television fodder they are.

Also beware of BLACK SCORPION RETURNS, another "movie" snipped together from TV episodes, 22 of which were filmed and aired in the winter and spring of 2001.  Also with Guy Boyd, B.T., Robert Pine (CHIPS), Enya Flack, Shae Marks, Kimber West, Victoria Silvstedt, Michael Fairman, Ben McCain, Paul Keith, Lyman Ward (CREATURE), Lucy Lee Flippin and David Groh (RHODA) as Darcy's father.  Music by David G. Russell and Kevin Kiner.  The MPAA handed STING an R rating for "brief nudity."  There is no brief nudity anywhere in this movie.  Dammit.

STINGRAY (1978)--Directed by Richard Taylor.  Stars Chris Mitchum, Les Lannom, William Watson, Sherry Jackson, Bert Hinchman.  If nothing else, STINGRAY is perhaps the only feature to take advantage of St. Louis area locations.  Director Taylor’s car-chase adventure takes us down city streets, through back alleys, across surrounding wooded areas, and even into the Mississippi River.  It poops out long before the end and features some violence that doesn’t match the movie’s generally breezy tone.  It’s still worth seeing for the many chases and the appealing performances, particularly perennial heavy Watson who’s seen in a lighter mode for a change.  Aimless buddies Mitchum and Lannom buy a used Corvette Stingray from a used car lot and find themselves on the run from murdering drug dealers who stashed their dope and $1,000,000 in cash in it.  The two young leads have a nice chemistry together, as do Watson and Hinchman as the baddies.  Stealing the movie from everyone is beautiful Jackson as Abigail, the rough-talking, gun-toting gang leader who smokes, disguises herself as a nun, and takes no crap from anyone.  I wish Taylor, who may not have directed any other live-action films, had more of a story to service his actors, who probably had a nice time visiting the Gateway to the West.

STIR OF ECHOES (1999)--Directed by David Koepp.  Stars Kevin Bacon, Kathryn Erbe, Illeana Douglas, Kevin Dunn, Zachary David Cope.  This ghost story based upon a 40-year-old novel by sci-fi legend Richard Matheson works pretty well for its first hour and 20 minutes, but then degenerates into a BARNABY JONES episode in its third act, jettisoning its original tone, tossing in a few scenes that blatantly rip-off CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, and introducing a ridiculously contrived murder plot and climactic punchout. 

Tom Witzky (Bacon) is entering a sort-of mid-life crisis.  He's a Regular Joe, a blue-collar telephone worker living in a "decent" Chicago neighborhood (where "everyone watches out for one another") with his wife Maggie (Erbe) and five-year-old son Jake (Cope).  He's also disappointed in his simple life, not believing his world could be so ordinary.  One night at a party, he's hypnotized by his sister-in-law Lisa (Douglas) on a lark, and when he comes to, he becomes plagued by strange visions--bloody teeth, broken fingernails, even what appears to be a spectral teenage girl sitting on his couch.  Jake seems to know what Tom is going through, even reassuring his father not to be afraid.  While Tom was under her spell, Lisa had placed a harmless suggestion into his brain to be more open-minded, which has actually opened a door into a supernatural plane--one in which he can communicate with the dead.  He isn't sure exactly what the mysterious dead girl wants however, and when he receives a suggestion to "dig", he rips up his basement, house and backyard in an effort to both solve the mystery and understand exactly what is happening to him. 

It's at this point that STIR OF ECHOES begins sliding downhill.  What Tom finds isn't much of a surprise, and while Bacon does a very good job of portraying a guy who is simultaneously freaked out and exhilarated by his newly acquired extraordinary ability, writer/director Koepp tosses the supernatural out the window for a violent climax containing guns, a too-convenient rescue, and some extremely unlikely mortal killers.  It's almost as though Koepp, whose past screenplays include JURASSIC PARK and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, didn't have enough faith in his ghost story, and believed his audience would better relate to a lazily scripted bang-bang shootout.  Koepp also creates a brief subplot involving a secret club of those who have the same ability as Tom and Jake.  The idea is intriguing, but it is quickly dropped, and seems to have been added only to give Erbe more to do. 

The performances are good across the board, especially those by Bacon, Erbe (in a thinly-written "thankless wife" role) and Douglas, who is always appealing.  For a horror story that doesn't rely on special effects, the visuals are mostly well done, except for the CGI frosty breath shots.  I've so far avoided comparing STIR OF ECHOES to THE SIXTH SENSE, which was released less than two months before STIR, which isn't easy to do since the two are so similar in many ways--they're both ghost stories that rely more on mood than visual effects that portray a relationship between an adult male and a young boy that can communicate with spirits where the boy is able to educate the adult as to how to come to grips with this power.  THE SIXTH SENSE is definitely the better film--its performances are stronger (with that of child star Haley Joel Osment being one of the year's best), and it boasts a whopper of an ending. 

Music by James Newton Howard, who also scored THE SIXTH SENSE, is routine, and doesn't add much suspense.  Also with Liza Weil, Conor O'Farrell, Jennifer Morrison, Eddie Bo Smith Jr. and Chalon Williams.  There's a cute in-joke where one character is seen reading THE SHRINKING MAN (which was turned into the 1957 sci-fi classic THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN) by Richard Matheson--the same Matheson who penned the STIR OF ECHOES novel upon which this film is based!

STONE COLD (1991)--Directed by Craig R. Baxley.  Stars Brian Bosworth, Lance Henriksen, William Forsythe.  Ex-linebacker Boz made his film debut in this fast-moving, stunt-filled biker flick as an undercover cop who joins a murdering motorcycle gang led by the long-haired psychotic Chains (Henriksen).  Former stuntman Baxley fills the screen with fights, shootouts, and even an amazing moment when Bosworth dives out of a helicopter, crashes through a skylight and lands on a marble floor without a scratch!  Also with Laura Albert, Arabella Holzbog, Sam McMurray, Richard Gant and Paulo Tocha.  Henriksen is great as always, and Boz handles himself pretty well for an athlete.  Filmed in Arkansas.  Screenwriter Walter Doniger's credits in film and TV go back to the '50s, and include such shows as SWITCH, JUDD FOR THE DEFENSE and DELVECCHIO.  Music by Sylvester Levay.  From the director of I COME IN PEACE.

STONE COLD DEAD (1979)--Directed by George Mendeluk.  Stars Richard Crenna, Belinda J. Montgomery, Paul Williams, Linda Sorenson.  American TV stars Crenna and Williams ventured to Toronto to lens this sloppy Canadian crime drama.  Crenna is police sergeant Boyd, assigned to capture the Sin Sniper, a serial killer who shoots prostitutes using a homemade rifle with a camera attached to it.  Williams is Julius Kurtz, a pimp whom Boyd believes is mixed up in the killings.  If you’re into Canadian supporting players, you’ll have a field day spotting young versions of Linda Sorenson, Alberta Watson (24), Jennifer Dale, Chuck Shamata and Belinda J. Montgomery, who plays a cop gone undercover as a hooker to help Crenna’s investigation.  Long conversations and continuity errors abound, while action and sleaze are in short supply.  Mendeluk, who also produced and wrote the screenplay based on a Hugh Garner novel, next made the better THE KIDNAPPING OF THE PRESIDENT.

THE STONE KILLER (1973)--Directed by Michael Winner.  Stars Charles Bronson, Martin Balsam, Ralph Waite, Norman Fell.  Bronson delivers the goods in this incredibly violent crime drama as a New York cop transferred to Los Angeles.  He becomes involved in mobster Balsam's elaborate plan to train Vietnam vets as paid assassins.  Features plenty of bloody shootouts and fights, a brisk pace and a well-directed car chase.  Also with David Sheiner, Paul Koslo, Jack Colvin, Alfred Ryder, Frank Campanella, Kelley Miles, Eddie Firestone, Byron Morrow, Stuart Margolin and John Ritter.  Music by Roy Budd.  Based on John Gardner's pulp novel A COMPLETE STATE OF DEATH.  From the director of DEATH WISH.

STONER (1972)--Directed by Feng Huang.  Stars George Lazenby, Angela Mao.  Just three years after playing James Bond in ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, Lazenby found himself doing cheapjack kung fu flicks in Hong Kong.  How the hell did that happen?  At least STONER is a fun one, albeit an incomprehensible one.  Best I can tell, Stoner (Lazenby) is an Australian cop in Hong Kong investigating the illegal manufacture and sale of "Happy Pills", aphrodisiacs that caused the death or addiction of his sister.  Meanwhile, Taiwanese cop/agent Angela (Mao) is also investigating the drug organization, and ne'er the twain shall meet, at least not until the climax where the two cops finally team up to beat the crap out of a seemingly endless army of foes.  Lazenby, who wears a mustache, longer hair and less weight than as 007, looks really good in the fight scenes.  I don't know how much martial arts he actually knew, but he appears as though he knows a great deal, and is completely believable mowing down a few hundred bad guys.  Mao looks pretty, but doesn't have much more to do besides kick people in the face, which she does exceedingly well.  Keep an eye out for Sammo Hung.  Also titled A MAN CALLED STONER, HONG KONG HITMAN and its original TIE JIN GANG DA PO ZI YANG GUAN.  A Golden Harvest release.

STORM CATCHER (1999)--Directed by Anthony Hickox.  Stars Dolph Lundgren, Robert Miano.  Another clip job from Phoenician Entertainment finds Hickox using a bunch of footage from the same company's ACTIVE STEALTH in this confusing tale starring Lundgren as Air Force major Jack Holloway, pilot of an experimental stealth fighter called Storm Catcher.  While camping with his family, Jack is kidnapped, drugged and forced to participate in the theft of Storm Catcher from the base (how the bad guys manage to do this is never explained).  He manages to escape both from Air Force custody and from a group of killers who want to silence him, and traces the stolen aircraft to a clandestine militia group populated by American military personnel who plan to blow up the White House using Storm Catcher.  A better cast and more attention to detail (see the rubber guns wobble during a slow-motion attack on Lundgren's home) may have improved this DTV actioner.  Hickox does his best, I suppose, but given the 18-day shooting schedule, the stock footage and the overly familiar story he was assigned, there isn't much more he could have done.  Also with Mystro Clark, Kylie Bax, Kimberley Davies, Jon Pennell and Hickox.

STRAIT-JACKET (1964)--Directed by William Castle.  Stars Joan Crawford, Diane Baker, Leif Erickson, George Kennedy.  One of Castle's scariest is this psychological thriller played mostly seriously by its cast and featuring a good performance by Crawford in this follow-up to WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?  Joan is a convicted axe murderess (she lopped off the heads of her philandering husband and his lover while they slept) released from a mental institution after 20 years.  She moves in with her brother (Erickson) and his wife, who raised Joan's daughter (Baker) in her absence.  Getting reacquainted with a daughter she hardly knew and a changing world is difficult enough for Joan, but when a series of axe killings begin...  Probably the best performance of Diane Baker's career (she worked mostly in television after this), there's also a creepy performance by a pre-star Kennedy as a sleazy handyman.  Music by Van Alexander.  Look for Lee Majors in his film debut (he's Joan's cheating husband!). 

STRANGE BREW (1983)--Directed by Dave Thomas & Rick Moranis.  Stars Dave Thomas, Rick Moranis, Max von Sydow, Lynne Griffin, Paul Dooley.  Thomas and Moranis bring their "McKenzie Brothers" act from the SCTV show to their big screen.  The two idiots get jobs at a brewery, and become inadvertently involved in von Sydow's plan to brainwash the public by poisoning their beer.  Despite the film's silliness, you'll find yourself laughing out loud.  Script by Moranis and Thomas.

STRANGE INVADERS (1983)--Directed by Michael Laughlin.  Stars Paul LeMat, Nancy Allen, Diana Scarwid, Michael Lerner, Louise Fletcher.  In this offbeat science-fiction tale reminiscent of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, Columbia University bug expert LeMat is baffled when his ex-wife never returns from her visit to her tiny Illinois hometown of Centerville.  Investigating, he discovers that Centerville was invaded during the 1950s by aliens, who have turned the townspeople into bowling-ball-sized globes of sizzling blue energy and wear human masks over their lizard-like features.  No one believes LeMat's story except for a supermarket tabloid reporter (Allen) and a mental patient (Lerner) whose family was abducted by the aliens.  The three return to Centerville in an effort to rescue LeMat's daughter from the aliens, who plan to take her back into outer space. 

Laughlin, who also made STRANGE BEHAVIOR, collaborated with Bill Condon (an Oscar winner for GODS AND MONSTERS) and Walter Halsey Davis to create an amusing tongue-in-cheek screenplay that gently parodies '50s sci-fi flicks while maintaining its affection for them.  The cast, which also includes sci-fi vets Kenneth Tobey (THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD), Mark Goddard and June Lockhart of LOST IN SPACE and Bobby "Boris" Pickett (who had a number-one record with "Monster Mash"), has a fine time sending themselves up, and LeMat is a likable yet unusual hero.  The pace flags a bit towards the end, but Laughlin builds enough goodwill with the audience to keep us tuned in.  The visual effects and creature makeup is pretty good, especially considering the low budget.  Also with Wallace Shawn, Fiona Lewis, Charles Lane and Dey Young.  Music by John Addison. 

STRANGE SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM (1976)--Directed by Alberto DeMartino. Stars Stuart Whitman, John Saxon, Martin Landau, Carole Laure, Tisa Farrow. An excellent cast and some eye-popping action scenes highlight this Italian/Canadian crime drama filmed on location in Montreal. Police detective Saitta (Whitman), whom we initially see blasting away a trio of bank robbers Dirty Harry-style, grows suspicious when his beautiful younger sister Louise (Laure) dies unexpectedly. After exhuming the body, Saitta discovers she was poisoned, and his obsessive investigation targets George Tracer (Landau), a middle-aged college physician who was having an extramarital affair with Louise. There are other suspects in this whodunit penned by Vincent Mann and Frank Clark, and, with his partner Sgt. Matthews (Saxon) in tow, Saitta punches, kicks, shoots and drives his way through every lowlife scum in the city before discovering the killer's shocking identity.

It's always great to see veteran stars like Whitman, Saxon and Landau bounce off of each other, but STRANGE SHADOWS's real draw are the stunning action set pieces, including Whitman's brutal kickfest with a trio of razor-wielding transvestites and a corker of a car chase in which two autos jump, skid, smash and screech through the busy streets of Montreal. Oddly, the American distributor, American-International, appears to have marketed STRANGE SHADOWS as a horror/mystery rather than the hard-driving crime thriller that it really is. The poster focuses on Farrow's blind music teacher character, which actually has very little to do with the story, and the American title is similar to those of the giallos directed by Dario Argento (it was originally called BLAZING MAGNUMS). I doubt horror fans will be disappointed, and DeMartino (credited as Martin Herbert) even tosses in some final-reel nudity to raise the film's exploitation value up a notch.

Armando Trovajoli composed the funky score. Also with Gayle Hunnicutt, Jean LeClerc and Anthony Forrest. Also known as UNA MAGNUM SPECIAL PER TONY SAITTA, A SPECIAL MAGNUM FOR TONY SAITTA and .44 SPECIAL. The onscreen title is SHADOWS IN AN EMPTY ROOM.

THE STRANGER AND THE GUNFIGHTER (1974)--Directed by Antonio Margheriti.  Stars Lee Van Cleef, Lo Lieh, Julian Ugarte.  Originally released in Europe in 1974, it's an Italian/Hong Kong co-production, a rare combination of the western and martial arts genres. Probably influenced by the David Carradine TV series KUNG FU, THE STRANGER AND THE GUNFIGHTER is an entertaining kung fu western with a strange concept, one that is unique to the best of my knowledge, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that someone else has used it.

The awesome Lee Van Cleef plays a charming thief named Dakota who blows up a safe belonging to a Chinese man named Wang. The explosion accidentally kills Wang, who is rumored to be worth a fortune, but the only things in the safe are a fortune cookie and four photos of four different women baring their backsides.

In jail the night before his hanging, Dakota is visited by Ho Chiang (Lo Lieh from FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH), Wang’s nephew, who reveals that his uncle tattooed portions of a treasure map on the asses of his mistresses. Since Ho is unfamiliar with the United States, he rescues Dakota from the noose, and the pair team up to visit the four women, check out their tushies, and find Wang’s fortune. Sounds like a nice job if you can get it.

Hot on their trail is sinister Yancey Hobbitt (Julian Ugarte), a brutal preacher who drags his own church around on the back of his wagon. His woman is one of Wang's former mistresses, and Hobbitt finds out about the treasure when Dakota takes the key to her chastity belt away from him to check out her portion of the treasure map. Hobbitt figures he can build his own church with the cache and recruits a hulking Indian, whom he discovers wrestling for money, to be his sidekick.

THE STRANGER AND THE GUNFIGHTER was directed by Antonio Margheriti, a decent filmmaker who made entertaining movies in just about every genre, including science fiction and horror. Here he demonstrates a sense of humor that allows the normally stern Van Cleef to show off a lighter touch than usual (Lee even sings in the picture). Lo Lieh pretty much steals the film anyway with several rousing kung fu scenes underscored by Carlo Savina's rock-oriented music that differs from the standard spaghetti western soundtrack.

A STRANGER IN TOWN (1967)—Directed by Luigi Vanzi.  Stars Tony Anthony, Frank Wolff.  West Virginia-born Anthony was a struggling actor in bit parts before he moved to Europe and found great success as the star of several so-called “spaghetti westerns”—Italian productions usually filmed on Roman soundstages and in the Spanish desert.  A STRANGER IN TOWN received a major theatrical release in the U.S. in 1968 by MGM and made enough money worldwide to bring Anthony back for three sequels.

The plot is simple and a bit reminiscent of Sergio Leone’s A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS, which was made in 1964.  A Bounty Hunter With No Name (aka The Stranger) rides into the tiny Mexican village of Cerro Gordo, where he witnesses bandits led by Aguila (Wolff) slaughter a platoon of Mexican soldiers and steal their uniforms.  Aguila’s men plan to impersonate the soldiers and meet up with the U.S. Army, who is transporting two sacks of gold meant to be a loan to the Mexican government.  The Stranger muscles in on Aguila’s plan by claiming that he’s the Army’s advance man and, with his assistance, he can vouch for Aguila’s authenticity and get the gold with no bloodshed.  Aguila, not surprisingly, welches on the deal and beats The Stranger up.  Unfazed, the American manages to swipe the gold from Aguila’s hideout and stash it back in Cerro Gordo, where Aguila arrives for the blood-soaked finale.

From looking at him, Anthony seems an odd choice for a western hero.  He’s not particularly charismatic, and he’s short to boot.  He struck some sort of chord with audiences, however, or perhaps people just liked to pay to see Anthony shoot people.  American Allen Klein, the Beatles’ manager during the breakup, produced the film, though it lacks any kind of Hollywood gloss.  Leone’s influence on director Vanzi is evident in the occasionally slow pacing, as Anthony wanders slowly around town, giving half the rooms in Cerro Gordo a once-over.  When the action comes, however, it’s relatively exciting and well-staged.  Benedetto Ghiglia’s oddball score isn’t exactly what you would call melodic, but it does fit Vanzi’s weird vibe, and you’ll be humming the theme out of repetition if not affection.

Anthony had a strong hand in his acting career, contributing the story for his next movie, THE STRANGER RETURNS, and producer and screenwriter of THE SILENT STRANGER, an unusual western set in Japan that didn’t see release in the United States until 1975.  Anthony also served as producer and star of BLINDMAN (a spaghetti western riff on Japan’s popular Zatoichi character) and COMIN’ AT YA!, a 3D western that was a surprise hit and kicked off a mini-resurgence of 3D cheapies (such as FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 and JAWS 3-D).  Also in there was GET MEAN, the fourth and final Stranger story.

A STRANGER IS WATCHING (1982)--Directed by Sean S. Cunningham.  Stars Kate Mulgrew, Rip Torn, James Naughton, Shawn von Schreiber, James Russo.  Sean Cunningham never wanted to be a horror film director.  It was just his bad luck that he was very successful at it.  He originally wanted to become a doctor, but fell into filmmaking in his 20s, along with a very good friend named Wes Craven.  Together they made the notorious LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, an unrelentingly brutal reimagining of Ingmar Bergman’s THE VIRGIN SPRING as a horror film.  Craven directed it and Cunningham produced it, and even though it met with some financial success, it wasn’t what Cunningham really wanted to do as an artist.  However, when a pair of children’s movies he directed, MANNY’S ORPHANS and HERE COME THE TIGERS, failed to ignite with audiences or studios, he took a cue from HALLOWEEN, then the most successful independent feature ever made, and decided to direct his own horror movie using what he believed was an identical formula.  The result was FRIDAY THE 13TH, the crudely effective “slasher” movie that grossed a vaultload of box office bucks and became one of the most influential horror films of all time.  Suddenly, theaters all over North America were deluged with movies about dim teenagers who got lost in the woods and were hacked to pieces as a result.  Cunningham was, of course, in demand to direct more movies in the same vein, but, to his credit, he elected to pass on FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART 2 (which was eventually directed by Steve Miner) and move on to something more mature.

A STRANGER IS WATCHING was, according to Cunningham, an answer to MGM’s belief that a “white-collar” audience existed for horror films without the gore that characterized FRIDAY THE 13TH.  The so-called “psychological thriller” was not a box-office success, convincing Cunningham that fans weren’t interested in seeing bloodless horror movies.  He may have been right at the time, but A STRANGER IS WATCHING is, despite its apparent financial failure, a suspenseful, well-photographed thriller that holds up quite well.

Two years earlier, a man broke into little Julie Peterson’s (Shawn von Schreiber) home and raped and murdered her mother right before her eyes.  A teenager named Ronald Thompson (James Russo), whom Julie identified in court as the assailant, now stands on Death Row for committing the crime.  The story receives tremendous media attention, particularly from the news magazine edited by Steve Peterson (James Naughton), Julie’s father, and his new girlfriend, television reporter Sharon Martin (top-billed Kate Mulgrew).  Three days before Thompson is scheduled to be executed, a misogynistic psychopath (Rip Torn) kidnaps Sharon and the now-11-year-old Julie from the Peterson house and hides them in a long-forgotten room located deep in the steamy, dank bowels of Grand Central Station.  He demands a ransom for their safe return, but his appearance so close to the execution seems like an unlikely coincidence.  What’s his connection to Julie’s mother’s murder, and what does he really want from Steve?

Cunningham and cinematographer Barry Abrams attack the audience in much the same manner that distinguished FRIDAY THE 13TH, using the camera as a stalker, flitting down dark, crowded, filthy train tunnels, up fragile iron ladders and staircases, allowing the steam and despair of the mysterious existence below Grand Central Station to become as much of an antagonist as Torn’s character.  The gloomy underground locations and sets provide an overwhelming feeling of dread that plays right into Cunningham’s strategy of keeping us on edge.  And while he may have dialed back the gore content, Cunningham still delivers the sadistic goods.  Victims are stabbed with knives and screwdrivers, bashed in the head, pushed down sweaty staircases--all shown in loving detail, while the goosebump-inducing orchestral score by Lalo Schifrin (an Oscar nominee for THE AMITYVILLE HORROR) pushes the suspense to barely bearable levels.

Based on a best-selling novel by Mary Higgins Clark, the screenplay by Earl MacRauch (THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI) and Victor Miller (FRIDAY THE 13TH) does not completely hold together.  For one thing, the innocent-man-waiting-to-be-executed-for-a-crime-he-didn’t-commit subplot turns out to be basically superfluous and isn’t given the weight hinted at in the first half.  Torn’s motive for the snatch and his relationship with a co-conspirator remain unclear.  The performances, for the most part, mesh with Cunningham’s taut direction to make you care about Torn’s victims and not care so much about the inconsistencies in story.  Naughton, handsome and steady, is given short shrift in the characterization department, but the other stars are quite stellar.  27-year-old Mulgrew, not yet the captain of the U.S.S. Voyager, but a veteran stage performer just coming off the NBC mystery series MRS. COLUMBO, is a more mature Final Girl than usual and very believable in her scenes with young von Schreiber, a likable child actress who appears to have made no other films.  Torn could, of course, play heavies in his sleep, but doesn’t walk through this one, essaying a tone more sinister and realistic than the broad villain he portrayed the same year in THE BEASTMASTER.

Sean Cunningham went on to direct other movies, but found greater success in the horror genre as a producer, germinating the HOUSE series.  Ironically, he found he couldn’t escape the movie he was most closely identified with and bought back the rights to FRIDAY THE 13TH, which he then combined with the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET concept created by his pal Wes Craven to produce 2003’s FREDDY VS. JASON, the biggest hit of his three-decade career.  Also with Barbara Baxley, Stephen Joyce, Stephen Strimpell, Frank Hamilton, Roy Poole and William Hickey.

THE STRANGER RETURNS (1967)—Directed by Luigi Vanzi.  Stars Tony Anthony, Dan Vadis, Marco Guglielmi, Daniele Vargas.  Anthony, who also contributed the story, returns—just like the title says—in this sequel to A STRANGER IN TOWN.  Like the first film, it was released in the U.S. by MGM in 1968 and likely even played together on drive-in double bills.  While influenced by Sergio Leone’s westerns with Clint Eastwood, Vanzi and Anthony add more humor and vulnerability to the leading character, making him easy to root for, even when he’s acting like a scoundrel.

The Stranger poses as a murdered postal inspector to track a large gang of bandits led by the vicious En Plein (Vadis, then a European star from many muscleman epics).  The killers dry-gulched a stagecoach crew and made off with the entire rig, thought to be carrying a strongbox filled with gold.  In actuality, the stagecoach is made of gold, which is a heckuva target for The Stranger and his nose for money.  The bounty hunter teams up with a batty old preacher (Guglielmi) with a pocketful of fireworks, who provides The Stranger with a super-cool weapon: a four-barreled shotgun.

Starting with Stelvio Cipriani’s awesome score, THE STRANGER RETURNS is the most consistently entertaining of the four-film series.  Vanzi shoots the violent climax with some wit, as The Stranger invades the bandits’ town and blows them away one at a time.  As usual, he takes plenty of physical punishment before laying some smack down on the baddies, who are well led by the sneering Vadis, who appears somewhat leaner than he did in his days making Italian sword-and-sandal pictures like SPARTACUS AND THE TEN GLADIATORS and HERCULES THE INVINCIBLE.  I also like the unearthly vibe Vanzi and Cipriani provide for the golden stagecoach, really playing up its status as an oddball plot point.

Anthony moved on to THE STRANGER IN JAPAN, but legal problems kept it out of the United States until 1975, by which time spaghetti westerns were passé.  However, he made another Italian western during that time, BLINDMAN with Ringo Starr, and teamed up again with Ringo (as producer) for the unusual COMETOGETHER, which had nothing to do with the Beatles.

STRANGLEHOLD (1994)--Directed by Cirio H. Santiago.  Stars Jerry Trimble, Jillian McWhirter, Vernon Wells.  At just 73 minutes, there’s little reason not to watch this Santiago Philippines-shot cheapie.  It’s basically DIE HARD in a chemical plant and offers plenty of fight scenes and explosions.  Terrorists led by THE ROAD WARRIOR’s Wells takes an Ohio Congresswoman (McWhirter) hostage inside a Malaysian chemical plant.  The only man available to save her is Trimble, whom she believes to be a lowly clerk, but is actually a government agent.  I guess STRANGLEHOLD is more like UNDER SIEGE than DIE HARD.  Trimble, a former professional kickboxing champion known as “Golden Boy”, still acts occasionally.

THE STRANGLER OF BLACKMOOR CASTLE (1963)--Directed by Harald Reinl.  Stars Karin Dor, Harry Riebauer, Rudolf Fernau.  A masked killer with nine fingers is haunting the grounds of Blackmoor Castle, home of former government official and soon-to-be-knighted Lucius Clark (Fernau) and his beautiful niece Claridge (Dor).  Despite the title, the killer doesn't always strangle his victims, sometimes beheading or machine-gunning them, but he does carve a capital "M" on their foreheads.  Scotland Yard inspector Mitchell (Riebauer) investigates a long list of suspects in this Bryan Edgar Wallace adaptation, including Clark's lawyer, his assistant, a blonde barmaid, reporter Claridge's male colleague and more.  With a plot involving stolen diamonds, a bird-watching lord of the manor, secret underground passages, an exploding vehicle, and not one but two nine-fingered suspects, Reinl manages to keep all his balls in the air, while staging some exciting action scenes and creating a properly foggy mood.  Fans of the Wallace krimis may miss seeing the familiar faces of Joachim Fuchsberger, Eddi Arent, Klaus Kinski and others who often populated these potboilers, but STRANGLER's cast acquits themselves just fine.  Music by Oskar Sala.

STREET CORNER JUSTICE (1996)--Directed by Chuck Bail.  Stars Marc Singer, Kim Lankford, Soon-Teck Oh, Steve Railsback, Tiny Lister, Beverly Leech.  Considering the high-energy action scenes that highlight Bail's other directorial efforts, like THE GUMBALL RALLY and CHOKE CANYON, I'm disappointed to report that this urban crime drama plays like a typical TV cop show.  Drummed off of the Pittsburgh police force after a camcorder caught him punching the lights out of a breast-slicing rapist, tough guy Mike Justus (Singer) heads to North Hollywood to fix up a dilapidated house he inherited from an aunt.  Once there, he discovers the local strip mall is the target of hoodlums and gangbangers who rob, steal, vandalize and even urinate at will.  The local fuzz, represented by detective Freeborn (Railsback), are sympathetic, but of little help, so the community, headed by donut-shop owner Chuck (Oh) and desperately man-hungry video clerk Jenny (Lankford), organize a neighborhood watch program.  It's as ineffectual as the police, leaving it up to one-man army Justus to give the goons their just desserts.  Not even the second-half additions of Leech as a leather-clad hooker and Lister as a born-again badass to Singer's crew lends much dimension to the screenplay penned by Bail, Gary Kent and Stan Markowitz (Bail, a former stuntman, also oddly receives credits as producer and executive producer).  Also with Clint Howard (as the rapist), Harvey Jason, Bryan Cranston (MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE), Ron Soble, Peter Mark Vasquez and Gary Kent.  Music by Alex Wilkinson.

STREET JUSTICE (1989)—Directed by Richard C. Sarafian.  Stars Michael Ontkean, J.D. Cannon, Richard Cox, Jeanette Nolan, Joanna Kerns.  Former ROOKIE Ontkean is miscast in this tame action movie, though its biggest deficits are its slack pace and lack of action.  American agent Curt Flynn (Ontkean) escapes his Russian jail cell after more than a decade in captivity, and returns to his New Jersey hometown to find his family.  Unfortunately, he discovers his wife (Kerns) and daughter, who think he’s dead, have moved on to a new dad and that the town is decaying under the sweaty palms of corrupt police chief Cannon and the town’s richest family.  While Curt attempts to clean up the town without revealing his presence to those who would recognize him, he has to also stay concealed by his own agency, which wants to kill him.  Too much plot and not enough action.  Ontkean is a bit soft to play action hero, and the supporting cast adds to the movie’s TV feel.  Also with Catherine Bach, Sandra Currie and William Windom.

STREET KNIGHT (1993)--Directed by Albert Magnoli.  Stars Jeff Speakman, Christopher Neame, Jennifer Gatti, Richard Coca.  Two years after his leading-man debut in Paramount's THE PERFECT WEAPON, Speakman starred in his follow-up feature, but for lowly Cannon.  As mechanic Jake Barrett, Speakman finds himself caught in a war between two Los Angeles street gangs, the Lords and the Blades, when a beautiful doctor (Gatti) asks him to find her missing teenage brother.  Carlos (Coca) was the only survivor of an ambush attributed to his rival gang, but which was in fact perpetrated by a commando squad led by erudite psycho Franklin (Neame).  I'm not sure why Franklin is so interested in putting the two sides against each other, but his guys do succeed in killing several gang-bangers and various bystanders--so many that Jake, an ex-cop who resigned after a little girl was killed in a hostage situation, feels compelled to pull out his old piece and make the streets safe again.  Speakman's great strength is his fighting ability--unlike other B-level action stars like Jean-Claude Van Damme, he is an actual black belt--but in his second film, he relies as much on guns, knives and his big Chevy truck as on his impressive martial-arts skills.  Magnoli, who had just directed Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell in TANGO & CASH, helms Richard Friedman's screenplay with little flair.  Also with Sal Landi, Ketty Lester, Lewis Van Bergen, Robert Dryer and Bernie Casey.  Music by David Michael Frank.  Speakman continues to work steadily in direct-to-video action vehicles, but I imagine this was his last theatrical feature.

STREET LAW (1974)--Directed by Enzo G. Castellari.  Stars Franco Nero, Barbara Bach, Giancarlo Prete.  Ordinary guy Carlo (Nero) is minding his own business when four masked men rob a post office and take him along as a hostage, administering to him a serious beating before fleeing.  When the police are slow to move, Carlo starts following them around, taking photos of them, trying to collect evidence against them.  He even blackmails Tommy, a smalltime hood (Prete), into helping him.  Carlo finally traps his abductors and calls the cops, but they screw up again and kidnap him.  After killing one of them during an escape attempt, Carlo, racked with rage and obsession, decides the only way to bring them to justice is to kill them himself, leading to a tense shootout in a gigantic, huge warehouse.

Castellari's customary slick action scenes and a fine performance by Nero (DJANGO) help distinguish this short (77 minutes) Italian crime drama.  Its brief length probably accounts for some of the story lapses, since I'm assuming it was cut heavily for its belated (1981) American release.  The beautiful Bach, as Carlo's unsympathetic wife, seems to have bore the brunt of the editing, since her character is hardly delved into at all.  The de Angelis Brothers' crazy score and a fine helping of violence contribute to the excitement.  Prete was billed as "Timothy Brent" in Castellari's GREAT WHITE and WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND.

STREET TRASH (1987)—Directed by Jim Muro.  Stars Bill Chepil, Mike Lackey, Vic Noto, R.L. Ryan.  The shortlived Lightning Pictures (barely) released this amazing gore movie that should have become a midnight-movie classic.  It certainly has its rabid fans among cult-film lovers who were able to see it.  Despite its low budget, STREET TRASH’s lengthy production schedule allowed 20-year-old director Muro (now Hollywood’s leading Steadicam operator) to make his debut an extremely polished one with breathtaking pacing and sharp camerawork.  I can’t think of any homemade horror movie of the era that looks as beautiful as STREET TRASH.  Exploding hobos are the order of the day after they drink a hidden stash of mysterious Tenafly Viper booze sold for a buck a bottle at the local liquor store.  Badass cop Chepil investigates the gory deaths, his prime suspect being Bronson (Noto), the psychotic ‘Nam vet who holds court at the local auto junkyard.  Light on plot but heavy on offensive material (sex, gore, profanity, rape, racial slurs, you name it), STREET TRASH somewhat resembles a more coherent, more entertaining Troma movie, if that gives you an idea.  Definitely recommended for film fans looking for something different.  Muro never directed again, but he and producer/writer Roy Frumkes have announced a STREET TRASH 2.

THE STREETFIGHTER (1975)--Directed by Shigehiro Ozawa.  Stars Sonny Chiba, Gerald Yamada, Tony Cetera, Doris Nakajika.  First in a series of four Japanese martial-arts thrillers, all starring Chiba as a rougher, cruder version of a typical Jackie Chan hero.  Chiba is Terry Tsuguri, kind of a mercenary who is approached by both the Mafia and the Yakuza to kidnap a pretty Japanese girl who is the heir to an enormous fortune.  When the bad guys refuse to meet Terry's asking price, he goes to the girl's advisors offering his services as her protector.  Sonny is one of the cinema's least likable heroes--he cares only about money, he treats his best friend like a slave, and he doesn't even take it easy on women, kicking and bashing them just like he does his male opponents.  Film is bloody, but slickly made.  My favorite shot: when Chiba busts a bad guy's head open with a karate chop, it's shown in negative!  Chiba fans and those who like their chopsocky a little strong should dig this.  Future director Jack Sholder (THE HIDDEN) is credited with editing the title sequence.

THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO (1972)--Directed by Walter Grauman.  Stars Karl Malden, Robert Wagner, Michael Douglas, Kim Darby.  Quinn Martin was the executive producer of this feature-length pilot for the successful television series that aired for five seasons on ABC.  Veteran homicide detective Mike Stone (Malden, who hadn't appeared on television since the '50s) and his young, college-educated partner Steve Keller (Douglas) probe the murder of a young woman found washed up on the beach.  Her name was Holly Berry (Darby), and the investigation leads the detectives to slick, flashy-dressing, Jaguar-driving attorney David Farr (Wagner), who picked up Holly at a party a few days before and spent the weekend with her.  Farr claims that Holly feared for her life--that a man driving a black sedan tried to run her off the road--but Keller, who demonstrates a conservative dislike of lawyers, believes Farr murdered her after Farr admits he abandoned Holly in a motel just before she was killed.  Maintaining his innocence, Farr begins a search for Holly's junkie brother, who may hold the key to Holly's death.  Meanwhile, there's a serial child murderer on the loose in the City By the Bay, who may also tie in to the young woman's mysterious death.

STREETS works well as both a police procedural and as a series pilot, neatly setting up the old cop/young cop premise and the novelty of on-location shooting in San Francisco.  Sharply edited by Richard Brockway and solidly directed by Grauman (LADY IN A CAGE), STREETS plays almost like a horror film in its final half-hour, as we witness the killer, who believes himself to be an Angel of Death, engaging in sacrificial rites in his torture chamber cellar.  Malden and Douglas, who would portray one of TV's warmest "father-son" relationships on the series, work well together, and Wagner, wearing longer hair and wider sideburns than usual, does a nice job fleshing out his character as someone who regrets his own selfishness that led to Holly's death. 

The teleplay by Edward Hume (TWO MINUTE WARNING) was based on the novel POOR, POOR OPHELIA by Carolyn Weston.  Patrick Williams's funky score flows around the cool, chaotic, familiar theme he used in the TV series.  Also with Tom Bosley, John Rubinstein, Andrew Duggan, Mako, Edward Andrews, Lou Frizzell and Lawrence Dobkin, who also directed much episodic television, and continues to pop up as an actor in shows like JUDGING AMY and NYPD BLUE.  Douglas went on to win two Academy Awards, one for producing Best Picture ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST and one for Best Actor for WALL STREET.  That's one more than Malden, who garnered a Best Supporting Actor trophy for A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE.  Malden (born Mladen Sekulovich, a name the actor frequently worked into the series) returned in 1992 for BACK TO THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO, in which Mike Stone investigated Keller's death (after Douglas declined to return to the role which got him where he is today).

STRIKE COMMANDO (1987)--Directed by Bruno Mattei.  Stars Reb Brown, Christopher Connelly.  This Italian-made action flick about the Vietnam War manages to copy RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II almost scene-for-scene, but hilariously mucking it up.  Brown's dialogue ranges from "Bwahhhhhh!" to "Auuuuuughhhh!" as "strike commando" Mike Ransom, who is left for dead on a mission by his corrupt CO, Colonel Radek (Connelly).  The plot really bounces around a lot, but Ransom hooks up with Vietnamese refugees, whom he attempts to lead to safety.  They don't make it, but Ransom does.  Radek sends him back into the jungle to take pictures (I know...like in RAMBO), but he ends up in a POW camp (which consists of just one other prisoner) where the Cong and their Russian allies force him to broadcast anti-American propaganda by electrocuting him on metal bedsprings (er, yeah, like in RAMBO).  He escapes after days of sharing his cell with a rotting corpse, engaging in a hilarious fight with a big, dumb Ivan Drago-like Russian who calls Ransom "Americanski".  Just when the movie has run out of plot, the setting fast-forwards a decade for no discernible reason, allowing Ransom and Radek, who haven't aged a day and even appear to wear the same clothing, to engage in their respective revenge.  Mattei's ridiculous action scenes consist of Brown shooting a huge gun-not necessarily at anyone, just shooting it-and Viet Cong falling down or miniature buildings getting blown up.  STRIKE COMMANDO might be even more cartoonish than RAMBO, if that's possible; certainly Brown's one-note screaming performance adds little dimension to the bloodletting.  Also with Luciano Pigozzi, Mike Monty and Alex Vitale as Jakoda, the Russian.

STRIKER (1987)--Directed by Enzo G. Castellari.  Stars Frank Zagarino, John Phillip Law, John Steiner, Melonee Rodgers.  Blond Zagarino is Slade, a dry cleaner framed by the federal government on drug charges and blackmailed into rescuing war correspondent Frank Morris (Law) from Sandinista clutches in Nicaragua.  Teaming up with gorgeous young contact Marta (Rodgers), Slade shoots, kicks, slashes and punches his way through the Nicaraguan jungle, taking out several hundred heavily armed soldiers en route to Morris' prison, a castle run by sinister Russian colonel Steiner (MANNAJA).  I have yet to see a Zagarino movie that was really good, and STRIKER is no exception, despite the usually steady hand of Italian director Castellari (billed as "Stephen M. Andrews").  He's still a master craftsman, piecing together more explosions, squibs, stuntmen on trampolines, machine-gun clips and burning men than any three Hollywood films put together, but there's little pace or suspense, and Zagarino's colorless performance brings little to the table.  Director Umberto Lenzi co-wrote the screenplay, and Castellari's daughter Stefania Girolami was the assistant director.

STRIKING DISTANCE (1993)--Directed by Rowdy Herrington.  Stars Bruce Willis, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dennis Farina.  One of Willis' silliest action pics stars Bruno as a Pittsburgh river cop(!) who teams up with a cute female rookie (Parker) to chase a serial killer.  The confusing screenplay (also by Herrington) is filled with red herrings, flashbacks and wild coincidences.  The killer likes to torture his victims to the tune of Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs' great novelty hit "Little Red Riding Hood".  Also with Robert Pastorelli, Brion James, Tom Sizemore and John Mahoney.  Music by Brad Fiedel.  From the director of ROAD HOUSE.

STRIKING RANGE (2006)—Directed by Daniel Millican.  Stars Lou Diamond Phillips, Yancy Butler, Tom Wright, Glenn Morshower, Troy Baker.  This rotten DTV action movie was filmed in Texas.  It stars Phillips as the head of a security outfit that is hired to protect industrialist Morshower (the terse red-haired Secret Service agent of 24) from terrorists who may be interested in stealing his company’s new super-duper laser weapon.  Writer/director Millican delivers a lot of shooting, swearing, dull pacing and dumb dialogue, but most of all he also provided employment for Texas actor Baker, who is so awful that you’ll be hating him long before the not-so-surprising reveal concerning his character.  WITCHBLADE’s Butler, not a good actress, but previously at least an attractive and appealing one, hasn’t aged well (in association, no doubt, with her highly publicized substance abuse problem) and has no romantic chemistry with Phillips, playing her ex-lover.  Kenpo fans may enjoy a supporting turn by Jeff Speakman (THE PERFECT WEAPON), who, once upon a time, may have played Lou’s role.