Marty's Marquee

Nacho Libre-Night Slaves


Home | Abbott and Costello-Alien Lover | Alien Nation-And Now the Screaming Starts! | Andersonville Trial-Avenging Force | Baby Doll Murders-Batman Returns | Battle Beyond the Stars-Beverly Hills Cop III | Beyond the Doors-Black Sunday | Black Thunder-Bowery Boys | Bowfinger-By Dawn's Early Light | C.B. Hustlers-Capricorn One | Captain America-Charley Varrick | Charlie Chan-Civil Action | Clambake-Cool As Ice | Cool Hand Luke-Cyclone | Dad-Deadlocked | Deadly-Devil Times Five | Devil's Advocate-Doll Squad | Dollman-D-War | Earth-Employee | End-Eyewitness | Face of Fu Manchu-Fast Gun | Fast Times-Flashpoint | Flatliners-Frankenstein's Daughter | Frantic-Fresh Air | Friday-F/X2 | Galactic-Gia | The Giant Claw-Goldfinger | Goliath-Gymkata | Half Past Dead-Harvest | Haunting-Hollow Point | Hollywood Boulevard-Hustle | I Am Omega-Incident | Incredible Hulk-Italian Job | J.D.'s Revenge-Justice League | K-9-Kung Fu | L.A. Confidential-Let's Spend | Leviathan-Lunch Wagon | Machine-Gun Kelly-Man Made Monster | Man on Fire-Meanest Men in the West | Meatballs-Mitchell | Mod Squad-Mystic River | Nacho Libre-Night Slaves | Night Stalker-Nutty Professor II | Ocean's 11-Overboard | Pacific Heights-Peggy Sue | Pelican Brief-Play Misty | Player-Pushing Tin | Q-Quiet Cool | Rabid Dogs-Rangers | Ransom-Relentless IV | Relic-Robotrix | Robowar-Ruthless People | Sabata-Scooby-Doo | Scorchy-Shaft's Big Score | Shakedown-Sisters of Death | Sitting Target-Something Wild | Son of Blob-Star Slammer | Star Trek-Star Wars | Starcrash-Stick | Still of the Night-Striking Range | Strip Search-Swordfish | T-Force-Terminal Velocity | Terminator-Timerider | Tin Cup-Transmorphers | Trapped-Two Towns | U-571-U-Turn | V-Voyage | Wait Until Dark-Wyatt Earp | X-Zorro

N

NACHO LIBRE (2006)—Directed by Jared Hess.  Stars Jack Black, Ana de la Reguera, Hector Jimenez, Peter Stormare.  Director Hess’ highly anticipated follow-up to NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is this disappointing Black vehicle shot and set in Mexico.  Nacho (Black), tired of his lowly vocation cooking gruel for orphans in a Catholic orphanage, follows his dream of becoming a rich and famous “luchador”—a masked wrestler in the mode of El Santo or Mil Mascaras.  Teaming up with a skinny street thief named Esqueleto (Jimenez), Nacho finds mostly failure in the wrestling ring and gets no closer to either of his goals: making money to better feed the orphans and impressing beautiful Sister Encarnacion (de la Reguera).  However you feel about Black’s schtick (and I think he’s more effective as a second banana), NACHO LIBRE lacks the wit and understated charm of NAPOLEON DYNAMITE.  Hess still has an eye for casting, and populates the movie with a lot of interesting faces.

NAIL GUN MASSACRE (1987)--Directed by Bill Leslie & Terry Lofton.  Stars Ron Queen, Rocky Patterson, Michelle Meyer.  From Texas, the state that gave us Larry Buchanan movies and R.O.T.O.R., comes another dud genre entry.  Feel safe concentrating all the blame on Lofton, who served as co-director, writer, producer, casting director, stunt coordinator and special effects man.  Six months after a bunch of construction workers gang-rape lumber-yard owner Meyer, a masked killer clad in combat gear begins murdering local townspeople with a powerful nail gun.  Dumbass cop Queen and dipshit doctor Patterson notice that most of the victims were named by Meyer as her attackers, but not all of them.  You’ll be forgiven for guessing that Meyer is the killer, considering the actor hidden beneath all that gear is obviously a woman.  One actress (Lofton’s grandmother) looks at the camera during a take.  Some victims have trouble holding their breath while playing dead.  Nails that are supposed to have penetrated bodies wiggle around on the actors’ skin.  A blonde actress with large breasts plays her only scene completely topless while Lofton’s camera zooms into her chest for no reason.  Characters come and go with no reason to exist except to get killed.  A radio plays a terrible rock song about, of all subjects, foosball.  Twice.  Some dialogue can scarcely be heard over the racket made by the camera.  A lot of blood and nudity (including a surprisingly graphic sex scene against a tree) will keep you awake, fighting against the terrible acting and production values.  Magnum Entertainment released this straight-to-video in 1987, and Synapse, for some reason, made it into a deluxe DVD in 2005.

THE NAKED CAGE (1986)--Directed by Paul Nicholas.  Stars Shari Shattuck, Christina Whitaker, Angel Tompkins, John Terlesky.  This tame women-in-prison movie from Cannon lacks the sharp cast and dripping sleaze factor of Nicholas' previous WIP, the classic CHAINED HEAT.  New fish Michelle (Shattuck) begins a three-year stretch after she's framed for a bank robbery actually committed by her coke-head ex-husband (Terlesky) and recent escapee Rita (Whitaker).  As usual, Michelle attempts to gain her freedom while simultaneously dodging the amorous advances of corrupt warden Diane (Tompkins), fighting back against a male rapist guard, getting into various brawls, and befriending a sweet junkie.  Shattuck lacks the feisty star quality of CHAINED's Linda Blair, and, even though all three lead actresses pop their tops (Tompkins was in her 40s at the time), NAKED just isn't outrageous enough to recommend.  Also with Nick Benedict, Larry Gelman, Carole Ita White and Stacey Shaffer.  Music by Christopher Stone.  "Paul Nicholas" is actually Lutz Schaarwaechter.

THE NAKED FACE (1985)--Directed by Bryan Forbes. Stars Roger Moore, Rod Steiger, Elliott Gould. This decent Cannon potboiler adapts Sidney Sheldon's first novel. Former 007 Moore acquits himself nicely in a change-of-pace role as a Chicago psychiatrist and widower accused of the brutal slayings of his secretary and one of his patients. Steiger, the chief detective assigned to the case, still holds a grudge against Moore for testifying on behalf of his partner's killer, saving him from Death Row. Steiger's abrasive manner is countered by good cop Gould, who seems willing to accept Moore's proclamations of innocence. Forbes' screenplay offers up a few interesting twists and turns, although it isn't too difficult to predict where the story is headed. There's also an unnecessary shock ending. The terrific cast really helps the thriller move. Also with Art Carney as a grizzled PI, Anne Archer, David Hedison, Ron Parady and John Kapelos. Music by Michael J. Lewis.

THE NAKED GUN: FROM THE FILES OF POLICE SQUAD (1988)--Directed by David Zucker. Stars Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Ricardo Montalban, O.J. Simpson, George Kennedy. Hilarious spoof of TV cop shows in the AIRPLANE! vein. Not surprisingly, AIRPLANE!'s creators (David Zucker, Jerry Zucker, Jim Abrahams) wrote, produced and directed this movie too. The plot has something to do with detective Nielsen's investigation of Montalban's plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth at a California Angels baseball game. The plot doesn't matter; what does matter are the number of puns, sight gags, one-liners and other jokes that are scattered into the mix. There are more hits than misses in the screenplay, and the cast (Nielsen especially) carved out second careers for themselves as comedy performers. Also with Reggie Jackson, Dr. Joyce Brothers and Lawrence Tierney! Based on the TV series POLICE SQUAD, which also starred Nielsen as dim detective Frank Drebin. Music by Ira Newborn.

THE NAKED GUN 2 1/2 (1990)--Directed by David Zucker. Stars Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley, Robert Goulet, George Kennedy, O.J. Simpson. Another funny spoof of television police shows starring Nielsen as Detective Frank Drebin of Police Squad. This outing finds Drebin on the trail of oily villain Goulet, who has kidnapped a brilliant scientist. Watch for the many gags and one-liners, including a truly obscure TWILIGHT ZONE reference. Also with Lloyd Bochner, Mel Torme, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Peter Mark Richman. Music by Ira Newborn.

THE NAKED GUN 33 1/3: THE FINAL INSULT (1994)--Directed by Peter Segal. Stars Leslie Nielsen. Detective Frank Drebin is back once again after two previous NAKED GUN vehicles and the brilliant POLICE SQUAD TV series, which had a six-episode run on ABC in 1982. Not quite as funny as the first two movies, but there are so many jokes that it's easy to dismiss the bad ones and savor the good ones. The emergence of Leslie Nielsen as a screen comedian is very bizarre. Try and take him seriously in any of his old TV guest shots. Regulars Priscilla Presley, George Kennedy and O.J. Simpson return. Featuring Fred Ward and PLAYBOY Playmate of the Year Anna Nicole Smith in some mind-bending dresses. With cameos by Elliot Gould, Mariel Hemingway, "Weird" Al Yankovic, Vanna White and Raquel Welch. Oh yeah, the plot involves Drebin going undercover in prison to capture a mad bomber (Ward) who plans to blow up the Academy Awards.

THE NAKED JUNGLE (1954)--Directed by Byron Haskin. Stars Eleanor Parker, Charlton Heston, Abraham Sofaer, William Conrad. Arrogant Heston, ensconced on his South American coffee plantation the last 15 years, sends away to New Orleans for a wife. She arrives in the form of a beautiful but stubborn redhead played by Parker (who had already received two of her three Academy Award nominations by the time this melodrama was made). Heston, a proud, swaggering sort who always has to be first, wants to get rid of her when he finds out she isn't a virgin, but her travel plans are disrupted by a posse of marauding soldier ants--the Marabunta--that is ripping its way through the jungle, annihilating everything--and everybody--in its path.

This George Pal-produced melodrama doesn't really deliver the goods until the last 20 minutes or so, which deal with the Marabunta threat and some impressive special effects sequences. Way too much time is spent building up the relationship between Heston and Parker, which may have been OK in a different movie, but in a George Pal thriller about killer ants--well, we wanna see the killer ants. Today, the dialogue and mail-order relationship between the male-chauvinist Heston and here-to-please-my-man Parker seems hopelessly outdated and unintentionally funny. Shot in Technicolor on what was probably a low budget, THE NAKED JUNGLE would also have benefited by shooting on location rather than the backlot. Conrad (TV's "Cannon") lends good support as the local head of law enforcement, and this movie may be your only chance to see the portly star in shorts. Screenplay by Ranald McDougall and Philip Yordan (reportedly a front for blacklisted writer Ben Maddow) was based upon a story by Carl Stephenson in ESQUIRE called "Leiningen vs. the Ants".

THE NAKED PREY (1966)--Directed by Cornel Wilde. Stars Cornel Wilde, Ken Gampu, Gert Van Den Berg. Very little dialogue in this violent adventure film shot on location in Africa. Wilde is captured by African natives, who strip him of his clothes and weapons, give him a head start, and try to hunt him down MOST DANGEROUS GAME-style. Wilde does an excellent job keeping the pace from flagging, and achieves realism by using authentic African actors and music on the soundtrack. Some of the violence is pretty brutal for a '60s release. Nominated for a Best Original Screenplay Oscar. One of the best adventure films ever made.

THE NAKED SPUR (1953)--Directed by Anthony Mann. Stars James Stewart, Janet Leigh, Robert Ryan, Ralph Meeker, Millard Mitchell. One of the best Westerns ever made. Stewart and Mann made a number of films together, usually casting Stewart as a morally ambiguous anti-hero torn between violence and doing the right thing. Stewart seems to be regarded in history as the nice guy of the movies, but some of his best work was in Mann's Westerns and Hitchcock's VERTIGO, where his Scottie was certainly on the path to schizophrenia.

Here he's Howard Kemp, a bitter Civil War vet-turned-bounty hunter tracking a killer (Ryan) from his hometown. Along the path, he meets up with a crotchety prospector (Mitchell) and a Union soldier (Meeker), and, convincing them he's a lawman, convinces them to help out. Upon capturing Ryan, who's traveling with a young woman (Leigh), Meeker and Mitchell, realizing Stewart's a bounty hunter, decide to take a share of the reward money, and accompany Stewart and his prey back to Kansas. Ryan is very good as the deceitful, smooth-talking outlaw who sets out to turn his captors against each other in order to secure his freedom, while Stewart always seems on the edge--he lost his wife and his ranch during the war, and seems consumed by hatred and bitterness. The Oscar-nominated script was penned by Sam Rolfe (THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.) and Harold Jack Bloom, while William Mellor's splendid cinematography (THE NAKED SPUR was filmed entirely on location in the Rocky Mountains) is certainly worthy of Oscar recognition. This was Mitchell's final film; he died of lung cancer at the age of 50.

THE NAKED ZOO (1971)—Directed by William Grefe.  Stars Rita Hayworth, Stephen Oliver, Fleurette Carter, Fay Spain.  When is someone going to publish a career-length interview with Oliver?  The beefy leading man was in films directed by Russ Meyer and William Grefe, he was a regular on two television series, starred in the wonderfully titled WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS, and stole all of his scenes as vain bodybuilder Dugan Hicks in two Crown International drive-in flicks.  In this pointless, plotless exercise filmed in Florida, Oliver makes out with many different women, including 54-year-old siren Rita Hayworth in practically her final acting performance.

Oliver is a misogynist writer/gigolo named Terry who does precious little writing, but a lot of getting high, charming women of all ages, and screaming at his agent (played in a cameo by cheesy sitcom actor Joe E. Ross of CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU?).  He picks up a sexy black chick with the line “We can miscegenate,” and she moves into his pad.  She doesn’t even mind when he makes it with other women, such as an Asian girl he seduces at a party and an embarrassingly unhip middle-aged woman, played by former starlet Spain (DRAGSTRIP GIRL) in a performance that I can’t decide is more humiliating for the character or for the actress.  Heyworth is one of Terry’s clients who tries to blame him for her elderly husband’s fatal accident.

Canned Heat performs in scenes inserted later by replacement director Barry Mahon that have nothing to do with the rest of the film and look oddly out of place, such as a topless girl lounging in bed with a vibrator that looks like a sander.  THE NAKED ZOO is a meandering, unpleasant film with an obnoxiously charismatic leading man and the novelty of GILDA star Heyworth in sleazy love scenes.  Also with Ford Rainey, William Kerwin, Willie Pastrano and Steve Alaimo, who burns the soundtrack with awful ballad singing. 

NAM ANGELS (1989)--Directed by Cirio H. Santiago.  Stars Brad Johnson, Vernon Wells, Rick Dean.  Roger Corman must have enjoyed the 1970 drive-in hit THE LOSERS, because he produced an unauthorized remake in 1989.  NAM ANGELS re-serves the primary gimmick—bikers on a rescue mission in Vietnam—but with less flair and more violence.  Lieutenant Calhoun (Brad Johnson in his first movie) recruits four Hell’s Angels to accompany him into the jungle to rescue two of his men who were captured by a renegade Aussie (Vernon Wells) and his army of primitive natives.  To lure the degenerate Angels’ help, Calhoun promises them a treasure of gold dust worth $10 million that’s hidden in a cave.

Director Cirio H. Santiago lacks the style and precision that Jack Starrett brought to THE LOSERS, but he attempts to make up for it in sheer volume.  Hardly any running time is left for story or characterization after Santiago finishes blowing up or shooting down a virtually limitless cast of Filipino extras.  Although his budget couldn’t have been much more than what Starrett had 20 years earlier, Santiago puts it all on the screen in the form of machine gun blanks and explosives.  NAM ANGELS isn’t a pretty film, but it does its job as mindless late-night filler.  I have fond memories of sitting up late during my college years, watching it on cable and laughing at it with my friends.  Thanks to the miracle of DVD, now you can do the same. 

A NAME FOR EVIL (1973)--Directed by Bernard Girard. Stars Robert Culp, Samantha Eggar. Probably your only opportunity to see Bobby Culp go "full monty" on us. It ain't pretty, and it don't make a whole lotta sense either. In this Canadian psychological horror film, Culp is John Burke, a big-shot big-city architect who tosses his TV off the balcony, chucks the rat race and moves to the country with his wife (Eggar) to renovate his great-grandfather's mansion. I think the estate is still haunted by the ghost of The Major (Culp in brief shots), who sleeps with Eggar and convinces Burke to kill her. Culp also has sex with a young woman he meets dancing naked at a barnyard orgy.

Girard's screenplay and direction is way too pretentious for its own good; it's unclear what is happening or why much of the time, but some of Culp's visions (he has them long before getting to the country house) are groovy, and the choreographed orgy dance sequence is fascinatingly bizarre. My video copy ran about 73 minutes, so it's possible it was a cut version. Some character development comes during off-screen expository dialogue early in the movie in which Robert Culp is definitely not voicing John Burke, which leads to audience confusion. Dominic Frontiere's bombastic music might have been great in a different movie, but he scores some scenes in which nothing is happening like a World War II battle scene. Billy Joe Royal pops up during the orgy to sing something written by Ed Cobb ("Dirty Water")! Filmed in Canada in 1970, but not released by Cinerama until '73. In the meantime, PLAYBOY published stills of the nude scenes. Also with Mike Lane.

THE NAME OF THE ROSE (1986)--Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud. Stars Sean Connery, Christian Slater, F. Murray Abraham. Original but slightly dull murder mystery set in an Italian monastery during the 14th century. Connery plays a liberal-thinking monk who, with the aid of his teenage protg (Slater), solves a series of murders. An interesting mystery with a good performance by Connery, slow pacing, gloomy atmosphere and some Fellini-esque supporting actors. Also with Valentina Vargas (who has a nude scene with Slater), William Hickey, Michael Lonsdale, Ron Perlman and Elya Baskin. Four screenwriters adapted a best-selling novel by Umberto Eco.

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (2004)--Directed by Jared Hess.  Stars Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Jon Gries, Efren Ramirez, Tina Majorino, Haylie Duff.  Be prepared for one of the most original movie characters you've seen in awhile.  As played by Oregon newcomer Heder, Napoleon Dynamite is an affecting mixture of Carrot Top and Mark Fidrych...but more eccentric.  Gangly, socially inept and awkward beneath his Big Bird 'fro, Napoleon is a high school student so ostracized and nerdy that he makes Robert Carradine in REVENGE OF THE NERDS look like James Bond.  And despite his tendency to exaggerate and act rudely, he's remarkably likable, performed by Heder in such a way that we feel Napoleon's pain at the same time that we're laughing at it.

It's no wonder Napoleon is so maladjusted, living as he is with his peculiar grandmother (who keeps a pet llama in the side yard) and his even nerdier (if you can believe it) older brother Kip (Ruell), a jobless 32-year-old who spends all day hitting on women in Internet chatrooms.  Napoleon is picked on by bullies, ignored by girls, and hassled by life.  His only friends are Pedro (Ramirez), the new kid in school and seemingly the only Mexican student in lily-white Preston, Idaho, and shy Deb (Majorino), who takes photos as an after-school job.  After Napoleon and Kip's grandmother breaks her coccyx in a dune buggy accident, their uncle Rico (Gries), an out-of-it door-to-door salesman still stuck in his (not so) glory days of 1982, when he almost got into the Big Football Game, comes to stay with them.

A semblance of a plot in the original screenplay by the 24-year-old director and his wife Jerusha starts to rear up about midway through, as Napoleon tries to help Pedro win the election for class president against the impossibly pretty and popular Summer Wheatley (played by Duff, sister of A CINDERELLA STORY star Hilary).  But NAPOLEON DYNAMITE isn't about what it's about.  It's completely character-driven and comes alive in the mannerisms and the dreams of the main characters, all of whom are on the fast track to Nowhere.  Hess shot in his hometown of Preston, which appears to be a cultural oasis, stocked with rural stereotypes and an unwelcome affinity for conformity.  The humor is off-center, just like Napoleon, and is comparable to the whimsy perceptible in Wes Anderson's comedies like RUSHMORE.  And although NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is a very funny film, underneath it lies a layer of sadness.  In Napoleon's character, for sure, but even more so in his Uncle Rico, a youth-obsessed motormouth whose ambition is greater than his competence.  Gries, the son of the late film director Tom Gries (WILL PENNY), who was known for his affinity for character-based drama, scores big with the standout performance of his four-decade career, as does Ruell in a tricky role whose story arc could have become ridiculous (by this outlandish movie's standards, that is) if not for the actor's ability to make it feel real.

But it's likely that Heder's Napoleon Dynamite is the character you'll remember long after the explosions and CGI monsters playing next door at the multiplex have faded into obscurity.  Rude, impatient and clumsy with a predilection for tall tales, Napoleon is fascinating to watch, and when he leaps to his friend's rescue at the climax in a virtuoso physical performance, don't be surprised if your heart leaps into your throat.  Hess clearly likes Napoleon, and giving him (and everyone else) the happy endings they deserve means you'll like them too.  Shot in the summer of 2003 on a $400,000 budget, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE made a stir in the Sundance Film Festival, where Fox Searchlight acquired it and gave it a respectable release a year later.  It's actually a slight remake of a black-and-white short Hess made a year earlier, in which Heder played a similar character named Seth.

NARC (2002)--Directed by Joe Carnahan.  Stars Jason Patric, Ray Liotta.  A disappointment.  Joe Carnahan's crime drama was heralded as a throwback to gritty cop movies of the '70s like THE FRENCH CONNECTION, but all it is is a plot that could have been recycled from a TV cop show and fluffed up with gimmicky camera and editing tricks.  A puffy Liotta is very good as a rules-busting Detroit detective investigating the murder of his partner; a bearded Patric less so as an outcast reluctantly teamed with Liotta to solve the case.  I had been looking forward to seeing NARC, but it never really connected with me.  Shot in Detroit on a very low budget, Carnahan does a good job of making NARC look more expensive than it was, but the story is nothing that we haven't seen before on MANNIX.  Also with Chi McBride, Krista Bridges and Busta Rhymes.  Music by Cliff Martinez.

NARROW MARGIN (1990)--Directed by Peter Hyams. Stars Gene Hackman, Anne Archer, James B. Sikking. Entertaining, fast-moving thriller about an FBI agent (Hackman) who accompanies an important government witness (Archer) on a cross-country train trip. Needless to say, their lives are threatened by mob assassins every step of the way. There isn't much here that's fresh or inventive, but Hyams keeps thing moving, the performances are breezy, and that sure does look like Hackman and Archer hanging on the outside of that moving train! Remake of a 1952 B-thriller starring Charles McGraw and Marie Windsor.

NASHVILLE BEAT (1990)—Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski.  Stars Kent McCord, Martin Milner, John Terlesky, Cameron Dye.  The closest thing to an ADAM-12 reunion as you’re gonna get, NASHVILLE BEAT was the first made-for-TV movie produced for the now-defunct Nashville Network.  ADAM-12 stars McCord (who also wrote the story and served as executive producer) and Milner play Los Angeles Gang Unit cop Delany and Nashville desk jockey detective O’Neal, respectively, former partners on the L.A. force.  Delany goes to Nashville to track down a dangerous drug dealer named Rodica who plans to expand his operation there.  When one of O’Neal’s men is shot and killed by Rodica, O’Neal hits the streets with Delany, just like the old days, to track him.  Hannah Louise Shearer, a former EMERGENCY writer, generates MATLOCK-level excitement with her teleplay, but it’s fun seeing McCord and Milner together again.  I don’t know why they didn’t make an ADAM-12 movie, unless McCord couldn’t get the rights.  Garth Brooks performs in a country bar.

NASHVILLE GIRL (1976)--Directed by Gus Trikonis.  Stars Monica Gayle, Glenn Corbett.  I can imagine Southern drive-in audiences lapping up this New World release.  Softcore actress Monica Gayle stars as jailbait Jamie, a product of a strict Baptist upbringing who runs away from her hillbilly home and hitches with a pair of truckers to Nashville to become a country-western star.  The sloppy screenplay sure squeezes a lot of plot into less than 90 minutes.  After her brothers beat up her rapist, 16-year-old Jamie reaches the big city, only to be pawed and groped by literally every man she meets.  She meets a friend while showering at the YWCA, loses her, meets another while serving a prison sentence for prostitution, is pawed by a lesbian guard, gets paroled, bounces around from one record producer to another, loses her virginity to one sleazebag, and finally signs a personal contract with a country superstar played by Glenn Corbett (ROUTE 66) with a penchant for young girls.

Like many exploitation movies from the 1970's, rape and statutory rape are treated casually, and without the sleaze or nudity, NASHVILLE GIRL would probably fit well as a made-for-TV movie.  Gayle appeared as the sinister Dagger Deb Patch in Jack Hill's SWITCHBLADE SISTERS the year before, and it's a testimony to her range as an actress that she pulls off the naïve country girl character of Jamie pretty well.  Corbett, who usually played good guys on TV, probably relished the opportunity to do something edgier, and it's likely he enjoyed the close proximity to so many nude actresses.  Singer Johnny Rodriguez and songwriters Rory Bourke, Gene Dobbins and John Wills give Trikonis' expose a stamp of approval, even though it's a roaring indictment of the music industry.  The songs are pretty good, and I wonder if a NASHVILLE GIRL soundtrack album ever existed.  Drive-in fave Marcie Barkin (THE CAR) co-stars (in the nude), along with Maytag man Jesse White, ALIAS SMITH AND JONES' Roger Davis and Leo Gordon.  Marvel Comics writer Gary Friedrich penned a pornographic novelization of Peer J. Oppenheimer's script.  Trikonis did MOONSHINE COUNTY EXPRESS next.  Also released as COUNTRY MUSIC DAUGHTER, probably to capitalize on the success of COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER, and NEW GIRL IN TOWN, a title used in the northern U.S. so the Yankees wouldn't know the movie was about country music.

NATIONAL LAMPOON GOES TO THE MOVIES--See NATIONAL LAMPOON'S MOVIE MADNESS.

NATIONAL LAMPOON PRESENTS BARELY LEGAL--See BARELY LEGAL.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE (1978)--Directed by John Landis. Stars Tim Matheson, Tom Hulce, John Belushi, Peter Reigert, Karen Allen, Donald Sutherland, Stephen Furst, Bruce McGill, and John Vernon as Dean Wormer. Highly influential "slob" comedy set in 1962 about the misfit members of the Delta House fraternity. John Landis's anarchic direction and the Lampoon tone blazed a trail for comedies to follow. This was Belushi's first major film role. Great oldies soundtrack. Co-written by Harold Ramis. Ivan Reitman was one of the producers.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S EUROPEAN VACATION (1985)--Directed by Amy Heckerling. Stars Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Dana Hill, Jason Lively, Eric Idle, John Astin. The Griswold family visits England, France and Italy, thanks to their rousing success on a TV game show (and a tasteless performance by Astin as the libidinous host). Comedy is most dull, except for a few instances of Chase slapstick and some truly funny bits by Idle as an accident-prone Brit. NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION was next for the Griswolds.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LOADED WEAPON I (1993)--Directed by Gene Quintano. Stars Emilio Estevez, Samuel L. Jackson, Kathy Ireland, William Shatner, Denis Leary. Awful parody of Richard Donner's LETHAL WEAPON trilogy, which are basically parodies themselves. Estevez and Jackson, two actors with almost no comic timing, are the Gibson/Glover counterparts; Ireland, a model with no acting talent, is the sexpot/love interest; Shatner, who is a parody of himself anyway, is the villain. Influenced by the NAKED GUN films, but without the right performers or jokes. I never miss a William Shatner movie though. Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada have cameos reprising their CHIPS TV roles. Look for bits by James Doohan, Jon Lovitz, F. Murray Abraham (in a SILENCE OF THE LAMBS spoof), Charlie Sheen, Phil Hartman, J.T. Walsh, Corey Feldman, Charles Napier, Whoopi Goldberg, Tim Curry, Denise Richards and even Bruce Willis.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S MOVIE MADNESS (1981)--Directed by Bob Giraldi & Henry Jaglom.  Stars Peter Riegert, Ann Dusenberry, Robby Benson, Richard Widmark, Christopher Lloyd, Candy Clark.  What the hell is screen great Widmark doing in this sad, sad excuse for a comedy?  No list of the worst films ever made would be complete without this follow-up to NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE, which reportedly sat on the shelf for quite awhile before finally getting a brief release by United Artists.  It's made up of three segments which are, I guess, supposed to be parodies of movies, but they sure picked some strange genres to mock, and what's really frightening is that one, a disaster movie spoof, was so terrible that it was removed from prints before release.  The fact that the same people who produced NATIONAL LAMPOON'S MOVIE MADNESS were able to deem an entire sketch to be unworthy of inclusion makes me shudder to think what it must have been like.

 
Music video helmer Giraldi ("Say Say Say") directed the opener, "Growing Yourself", which begins with a soft rock ballad sung by Don McLean (isn't Don McLean the kind of wimp rocker NATIONAL LAMPOON the magazine used to make fun of?).  It's a spoof of KRAMER VS. KRAMER that stars Riegert, who was in ANIMAL HOUSE, as a corporate lawyer who lives in the suburbs that decides to kick out his loving wife (Clark) and start a new life taking care of plant life with his four young children.  In "Success Wanters", which mocks the all-star soap adaptations of Harold Robbins novels like THE GREEK TYCOON and is also directed by Giraldi, Dusenberry (LITTLE WOMEN) plays Dominique, a stripper who wreaks vengeance upon the dairy magnates who gangraped her during a "butter-bang" by taking over a margarine company and running them out of business.  Jaglom directed the interminable "Municipalians", which stars Benson as a rookie cop teamed with alcoholic veteran Widmark who track a serial killer (Lloyd).
 
To say much more about this movie would be pointless, since there's no reason to recommend it and to use many more words to tell you why would be redundant.  It's terrible, witless and pointless.  The only reason to see it would be to spot several familiar and talented actors in the cast, all of whom have much better credits on their resumes.  The NATIONAL LAMPOON franchise of comedies, including CLASS REUNION, LOADED WEAPON 1 and SENIOR TRIP, has got to among the most dismal in film history.  How can a hip, anarchic, cutting-edge publication spawn such an array of unfunny films with nary a hint of wit or satire?
 
Keep an eye out for Diane Lane as Riegert's 14-year-old lover, Joe Spinell, Robert Culp, Fred Willard, Dick Miller, Mary Woronov, Rhea Perlman, Olympia Dukakis, Julie Kavner, Teresa Ganzel, Henny Youngman, Elisha Cook Jr., Margaret Whitton and porn star Harry Reems.  Theme by Dr. John.  Andy Stein provided the score, which tries to score laughs with a dated JAWS snatch.  It took five writers to hammer together the screenplay, one of which, Tod Carroll, later penned the fine drama CLEAN AND SOBER.  Jonathan Demme's cinematographer, Tak Fujimoto, lensed Jaglom's segment.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION (1983)--Directed by Harold Ramis. Stars Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, John Candy. Slightly amusing slapstick with Chase as middle-class dad and husband Clark Griswold, who strives to take his family on a vacation to WallyWorld, a California amusement park. Along the way, they meet up with obnoxious cousin Quaid, senile aunt Coca, dumb security guard Candy and a stunning Christie Brinkley! Quaid and Candy have the best moments.
 
NATIONAL TREASURE (2004)--Directed by Jon Turteltaub.  Stars Nicolas Cage, Diane Kruger, Jon Voight, Sean Bean.  I had a good time watching this old-fashioned adventure reminiscent of the juvenile mysteries I read as a youth featuring kid sleuths like the Hardy Boys, the Three Investigators and Encyclopedia Brown.  Filled with chases, puzzles, codes, buried treasure, secret passages and elaborate deathtraps, NATIONAL TREASURE stars Cage as Benjamin Franklin Gates, an American history expert and treasure hunter whose obsession is a hidden cache allegedly secreted away by the founding fathers of the United States during the Revolutionary War.  A find of immense historical importance, Gates comes to believe that a map to the treasure may be concealed on the back of the Declaration of Independence.  With the reluctant assistance of National Archives curator Abigail (Kruger), Gates begins an elaborate plot to swipe the document, solve the map's complex puzzles, and follow the clues to the treasure's destination before his sinister archrival (Bean) gets there first.  Yeah, its sense of historical accuracy is ridiculous, and it's never as energetic as it should be (Cage is sleepwalking here), but it's brisk fun with a good cast and a globetrotting atmosphere.  Harvey Keitel is a Treasury cop hot on Cage's trail.  Also with Justin Bartha, Annie Parisse (next on LAW & ORDER) and Christopher Plummer.  Music by Trevor Rabin. 

NATURAL BORN KILLERS (1994)--Directed by Oliver Stone. Stars Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Tommy Lee Jones, Robert Downey, Jr. Stone's worst film polarized critics and audience members upon its initial release. Harrelson and Lewis are Mickey and Mallory, a pair of spree killers making their way across the American Southwest, leaving death and murder in their wake. They kidnap an Australian TV reporter played by Downey. This brutally over-the-top movie is one of the most uncomfortable viewing experiences I've ever had the misfortune to sit through, which would be okay if the film had anything interesting to say. Stone seems to be making the point that tabloid television is bad and that the media is mostly to blame for the violent downfall of our civilization, which isn't exactly an original idea (although he seems to think he's brilliant even to bring it up). The director is so self-indulgent that much of the film relies on underground techniques like black-and-white, 16 mm, tilted angles and jump cuts, which becomes distracting and tiresome. Stone has lined up an all-star cast, no question about it, but I found no pleasure in watching them or Stone's in-your-face mess. Also with Tom Sizemore, Rodney Dangerfield (with a laugh track!), Steven Wright, Balthazar Getty and Edie McClurg. Denis Leary and Ashley Judd can be seen in the restored Director's Cut available on videocassette. I'm still not exactly sure how this movie got an R. Screenplay is based on an original story by Quentin Tarantino!

THE NATURE OF THE BEAST (1995)--Directed by Victor Salva. Stars Eric Roberts, Lance Henriksen, Brion James. This talky thriller works only because of the excellent performances by cult favorites Roberts, topbilled as a dangerous drug addict, and Henriksen as a wimpy paper products salesman with a deadly secret. While news reports on Henriksen's car radio tell us about a million-dollar casino robbery and a series of brutal murders being perpetrated by a psycho calling himself "Hatchet Man", he and hitchhiking Roberts find themselves inextricably drawn to each other while traveling across the desert. Perhaps it takes one to know one, but these two, although they obviously hate each other on the surface, also appear to know each other's secrets. Although the serial killings continue as the two antagonists make their way across the desert, with Roberts taunting Henriksen every step of the way and Henriksen too scared or too fascinated to leave Roberts behind, NATURE is fairly bloodless. It's also fairly actionless until the final reel, which also contains a "twist" ending that I anticipated long before the halfway point. Salva's screenplay really begins to bog down at around that time as well, but, for the most part, the two stars are able to make the pretentious dialogue work. James shows up briefly in a throwaway part as a local sheriff. The world of straight-to-video thrillers is a small one--Henriksen and James also appeared together in SPITFIRE and THE HORROR SHOW, while James and Roberts showed up in AMERICAN STRAYS. Salva achieved notoriety when it was discovered after his POWDER was released that he had served time on a charge of child molestation. Also with Eliza Roberts, Sasha Jenson (DAZED AND CONFUSED), Lin Shaye, Phil Fondacaro and Ana Gabriel. Music by Bennett Salvay.
 
NAUGHTY STEWARDESSES--See FRESH AIR.
 
NAUTILUS (2000)--Directed by Rodney McDonald.  Stars Richard Norton, Christopher Kriesa, Miranda Wolfe.  Cheap time-travel story starring Norton as a mercenary hired to protect an oil rig from environmental terrorists.  A submarine from the future captained by Kriesa returns to prevent the rig from drilling into the Earth’s core, which will trigger a natural disaster that leads to worldwide destruction, upheaval and starvation.  Screenwriter C. Courtney Joyner contributes some spice by making Kriesa’s character neither a hero nor a villain and by allowing Norton to believe the time travelers’ fantastic story not a moment too soon.  NAUTILUS isn’t really all that interesting--the cheap sets and routine shootouts won’t allow it to be--but you’ve seen worse.  Hannes Jaenicke and Gloria Mari play scientists.
 
NAVAJO JOE (1966)—Directed by Sergio Corbucci.  Stars Burt Reynolds, Aldo Sambrell.  Burt was a familiar television actor trying to break into features when he traveled to Spain to shoot this Italian western.  He’s charismatic and energetic as a half-breed Navajo out for revenge against Duncan (Sambrell), another half-Indian/half-Caucasian who earns money by scalping Native Americans and selling the spoils for a buck apiece.  When Duncan steals a trainload of money belonging to a town so pacifist that no one there owns a gun, Joe steals the money back and offers to protect the town in exchange for $1 bounty on each of Duncan’s men he kills, as well as a sheriff’s badge.  Reynolds was performing his own stunts then, and his constant jumping, riding and climbing makes you believe that he can defeat several dozen baddies.  Corbucci’s action scenes are crisply delineated and surprisingly gory.   Ennio Morricone’s score is among his cheekiest; sections of it later showed up in ELECTION and KILL BILL.  Reynolds went back into TV and didn’t make another movie until 1969’s 100 RIFLES, in which he played…an Indian.  Also with Fernando Rey.
 
NEAR DARK (1987)--Directed by Kathryn Bigelow. Stars Adrian Pasdar, Jenny Wright, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton. Probably the best vampire movie of the '80s, NEAR DARK capitalizes on an outstanding cast, some interesting twists on traditional vampire lore, and bright Southwestern locations--a clever change of pace from typical Gothic trappings. A young cowboy (Pasdar) finds himself attracted to a pretty but shy blonde (Wright) he meets one night at a roadhouse. He finds she belongs to a family of vampires that travel around the Southwest in a motor home sucking the blood of humans to survive. Pasdar finds their world more fascinating than his own, and begins to fall in love with Wright. Features slick direction by Bigelow, interesting performances (especially by Henriksen as the vampire leader), and lots of blood and gore. Also with Jenette Goldstein, Tim Thomerson and Joshua Miller. Music by Tangerine Dream.

NED KELLY (1970)--Directed by Tony Richardson. Stars Mick Jagger. Jagger's acting debut, in that it was released before PERFORMANCE, a troubled production that was actually made first. The Rolling Stones' lead singer plays legendary Australian outlaw Kelly, who committed crimes wearing a bulletproof suit and was later hanged in prison. Nobody paid much attention to this Western when it finally did play theaters. Music by Waylon Jennings and Kris Kristofferson; Jagger sings "The Wild Colonial Boy". Filmed in Australia. From the Oscar-winning director of TOM JONES.

NEEDFUL THINGS (1993)--Directed by Fraser C. Heston. Stars Ed Harris, Max von Sydow, Bonnie Bedelia, J.T. Walsh. Ming the Merciless plays Satan himself, who moves into the small New England town of Castle Rock, Maine, and opens an antique store using the name Leland Gaunt. There he turns the townspeople against one another, while sheriff Harris tries to stop him. A bit confusing and overlong, there are some good performances here, particularly Bedelia as an arthritic waitress engaged to Harris. A much longer version has turned up on Turner Network Television in a four-hour timeslot. W.D. Richter's script is based on a 1991 novel by Stephen King. Also with Amanda Plummer, Valri Bromfield and Duncan Fraser. Lisa Blount was cut out of the original theatrical version, but can be seen in the TNT print. Filmed in British Columbia. The director is Moses's son.

THE NEGOTIATOR (1998)--Directed by F. Gary Gray. Stars Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Spacey, J.T. Walsh. Great acting by the two leads propels this thriller with a bloated running time that eventually causes it to sink beneath its own weight. Jackson is Danny Roman, a police negotiator framed for the murder of his partner, who was investigating the embezzlement of police funds. Declaring his innocence and unable to find a friend, police colleague or district attorney who will believe his story, Roman storms into the Internal Affairs office, takes hostages and demands to speak only to fellow negotiator Chris Sabian (Spacey). The best parts of the film involve conversations between Jackson and Spacey--over the phone and face-to-face--two actors who can bring passion and suspense to almost any dialogue handed them. Since Roman is a seasoned pro in the realm of negotiation and hostage-taking, the police (and Sabian) find themselves frustrated by a man who knows their tactics as well as they do. Gray also juggles an excellent supporting cast of professionals, led by Walsh as a slimy IA cop who may or may not be involved in Roman's frameup, and a nice touch for suspense. However, he lets THE NEGOTIATOR run at least 15 minutes too long, and after keeping us in the tight claustrophobic clutches of the IA office for most of the film, unwisely sets the climax elsewhere with an ending that drags. Recommended though for its intelligent (if not always plausible) script and for the sight of two of America's best actors going head-to-head. Music by Graeme Revell. Also with John Spencer, David Morse, Paul Giamatti, Ron Rifkin and Regina Taylor.

NEIGHBORS (1981)--Directed by John G. Avildsen. Stars Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Cathy Moriarty, Kathryn Walker. Belushi's last film. He's a milquetoast living a simple suburban life with his wife, when a loud, crass married couple (Aykroyd and Moriarty) move next door and turn his life upside down. Film is hit-and-miss; Avildsen (ROCKY) doesn't have the touch for this kind of satire. Aykroyd is a riot however, and Belushi is good in a different type of role for him. Screenplay by Larry Gelbart.

NEMESIS (1992)--Directed by Albert Pyun.  Stars Olivier Gruner, Tim Thomerson, Brion James, Deborah Shelton.  In the near future, Alex (Gruner), a human LAPD cop loaded with bionic parts, is assigned by his jerk boss Farnsworth (Thomerson) to pursue a band of robot terrorists.  In reality, the bad guys are the good guys, and the heavy is the boss and his two strangely German-accented goons (one of whom is played by James).  For an Albert Pyun picture, it isn’t too bad, although there’s too much droning talk about humanity and hope for the future.  What’s important are the huge explosions and many gun battles, as well as the stop-motion mechanical Thomerson ‘bot that Gruner fights at the climax.  Obviously, Pyun had seen THE TERMINATOR several times.  Also with Deborah Shelton (who has a memorable full-frontal-nude fight), Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Merle Kennedy, Thom Mathews, Nicholas Guest and Jackie Earle Haley.  Many cast members and locations were reused from Pyun’s DOLLMAN.  Filmed in Hawaii and Arizona.
 
THE NEPTUNE FACTOR (1973)—Directed by Daniel Petrie.  Stars Ben Gazzara, Yvette Mimieux, Ernest Borgnine, Walter Pidgeon.  Good grief, this Fox adventure is one of the dullest “action” films I’ve seen.  Gazzara stars (with an improbable Cajun accent) in this lifeless underwater movie as Blake, a jackass with his own mini-submarine who is summoned when an earthquake dislodges an underwater lab and sends it tumbling into a deep crevice.  Diver MacKay (Borgnine) and doctor Jensen (Mimieux) accompany Blake on his journey, which is one trip you’ll wish you missed.  Barely anything happens downthere—certainly nothing of interest—and Petrie really screwed up when he decided to film real fish as though they were giant and scale them next to a plastic bath toy posing as the title submarine.  The visual effects are among the worst from this era and budget level.  The screenplay is hardly better, nor the performances, not that the actors have anything to do besides look constipated and occasionally lurch from side to side like they’re being bombarded by Petrie’s “giant” fish monsters.  Also with Donnelly Rhodes.  Music by Lalo Schifrin, who replaced original composer William McCauley.
 
THE NEST (1988)--Directed by Terence H. Winkless.  Stars Robert Lansing, Franc Luz, Lisa Langlois.  It's JAWS, but with cockroaches.  A tranquil New England island community is besieged by man-eating roaches that were genetically engineered by a greedy corporation.  Mayor Johnson (Lansing) tries to keep a lid on the fatalities--difficult when the corpses are stripped bare of flesh--while the local sheriff (Luz), who also happens to be sweet on Johnson's daughter (Langlois), tries to find out what's going on and hopefully stop the plague before more bodies are munched.  THE NEST is a fun monster movie, if not an essential one, and benefits from Lansing's performance, which attempts to give the Murray Hamilton character more than one dimension.  It also has some nifty gore scenes and one incredible moment where Langlois goes shotgun-to-hand with a man-sized roach!  Filmed in California with some scenes done at Bronson Caverns.  Also with Terri Treas, Stephen Davies and Diana Bellamy.  Music by Rick Conrad.  Winkless wrote the original script of THE HOWLING, which was nearly completely redone by John Sayles prior to shooting.
 
THE NET (1995)--Directed by Irwin Winkler. Stars Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam, Dennis Miller. Credibility is not the strong suit of this "cyber-thriller" from the director of GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION, but the charm and skills of its leading lady, the wonderful Sandra Bullock, will allow you to suspend disbelief long enough to make this a passable time-waster. Bullock plays Angela Barrett, a lonely computer whiz who falls for an oily Brit (Northam) while vacationing in Mexico. Unbeknownst to Angela, Northam is involved in some sort of complicated plan to take over the computer systems of various American government agencies using a mysterious virus. After he unsuccessfully tries to kill her, Angela finds herself on the run from the bad guys and from the police, since Northam has used his computer skills to erase all evidence of her existence. Comedian Dennis Miller turns in a cheeky performance as Bullock's former shrink and lover. I'm still a little unsure how all the various plot contrivances and red herrings in the script fit together, but Bullock and Miller make it work. Northam is a one-dimensional Baldwin wannabe; his characterization is all in his accent. Winkler's direction is plodding, despite the numerous Hitckcockian touches. Familiar faces Diane Baker and Ken Howard are welcome sights in small roles.

NETWORK (1976)--Directed by Sidney Lumet. Stars Faye Dunaway, William Holden, Peter Finch, Robert Duvall. On the NBC series FEAR FACTOR, ordinary people engage in foolish and potentially dangerous stunts for a chance to win a cash prize. On Fox's THE CHAMBER, contestants strap themselves into an electric chair and answer trivia questions while being bombarded with fire and live alligators. Howard Stern engages in frank sexual talk with porno movie actors on his cable show. Daytime television bombards us with the worst and sleaziest traits of mankind--incest, murder, infidelity, physical and emotional deformities included. Shows aimed at children are among the worst purveyors of corruption, like professional wrestling and JACKASS. A Pennsylvania politician blew his brains out at a press conference, footage of which ran on several news outlets for no other reason than that it existed. Every network is owned by a major conglomerate, in which television is merely a small cog in the operation. And not even the news can be trusted anymore. NBC News once blew up a pickup truck with dynamite in an effort to surreptitiously "prove" how liable it was to explode in an accident, and now the once venerable CNN has been dumbed down and glossed up with beautiful but fluffy talking heads, incomprehensible graphics, and an overload of non-information.

When NETWORK hit theaters in 1976, no one could have known how prophetic is was. Except perhaps for Paddy Chayefsky, the brilliant playwright and author who penned its Oscar-winning screenplay. Watching this film 25 years later, one is stunned at the Nostradamus-like view of television and its effects. Finch, who won a posthumous Best Actor Academy Award, is veteran network news anchor Howard Beale, whose UBS newscasts are floundering in the Nielsen ratings and contributing to the web's fourth-place ranking. He's also slowly going insane, a slippery slope that increases its angle after Beale announces his retirement on the air by saying he plans to commit suicide on live television. He's immediately yanked off the air by his boss and close friend Max Schumacher (Holden), but after UBS's ratings go through the roof, he's allowed to return for one final broadcast--to go out on a dignified note as fitting a broadcaster of his longevity and reputation. Instead, Beale goes off on another rant about how he's finally "run out of bullshit" and can no longer continue. Surprisingly, the network's ratings continue to increase, and, under the guidance of UBS Programming head Diana Christensen (Dunaway) and Chairman Frank Hackett (Duvall), the evening news is transformed into THE MAO TSE-TUNG HOUR, featuring psychics, sideshow acts and a nightly monologue by the new "Mad Prophet of the Airwaves", Beale. His insane ravings become the hottest act on television. Ratings are higher than ever at UBS. Schumacher, who is depressed and embarrassed by his friend's current status as a crazed clown, begins an affair with the dispassionate, bottom-line Diana, who has no room for anything in her life besides television. Beale becomes TV's biggest personality, at least until the ratings begin to drop. Then what do you do with him?

NETWORK was nominated for ten Academy Awards, winning four--one for Chayefsky's script, which is marvelously wordy and incisive. It contains the kind of dialogue that actors kill for, and it can be no coincidence that five of them earned nominations. Two of them--Beatrice Straight (as Holden's wife) and Ned Beatty (as the owner of the network)--are on screen less than ten minutes apiece, yet are given marvelously rendered monologues to recite, which they do with grand passion. None of the performances are less than sterling, with old pros Holden and Finch lending great weight to what would turn out to be the last great work of their careers (Finch died just two months before the Oscar ceremony). And lest you believe this movie directed itself, Lumet, whose background was in live television of the '50s, does a stunning job directing his actors and making the film's far-fetched premise believable. It's to Lumet's credit that the outlandish events of the film's final reels come across quite matter-of-fact, since he set the film's bleak tone early and smoothly carried it through to the end, building up to the climax in a way so that it doesn't seem out of place.

NETWORK was nominated for Best Picture, along with BOUND FOR GLORY, TAXI DRIVER and ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN, one of the finest collections of Best Picture nominees in the Academy's history. All four are powerful, nihilistic viewpoints of American culture, and it's of interest that all four lost the trophy that year to an upbeat, heartfelt character drama about an unsophisticated lug who becomes a hero through hard work and the American dream: ROCKY. Also with Wesley Addy, Kathy Cronkite (Walter's daughter), William Prince, Lane Smith, Marlene Warfield and Darryl Hickman. Look for bits by Lance Henriksen and Tim Robbins.
 
NEUTRON VS. THE DEATH ROBOTS (1962)—Directed by Federico Curiel.  Stars Wolf Ruvinskis, Rosa Arenas, Jack Taylor, Armando Silvestre.  Following in the footsteps of Santo, Mexico’s most popular masked wrestling superhero, came Neutron (Ruvinskis) in this fun South-of-the-border romp.  In this sequel to NEUTRON VS. THE AMAZING DR. CARONTE, evil mad scientist Caronte, having somehow survived a deadly explosion at the end of the previous movie, returns to his lair to complete his plan for world domination.  Or some such.  He swipes the brains from three atomic scientists and hooks them to a machine that allows them to talk to him.  They provide Caronte with the formula to construct an atomic bomb (which looks like a small sphere covered with spikes), but he needs the still-living Professor Wilson to complete the puzzle.  Wilson, who can’t decide which of the three male friends pursuing his daughter Nora (Arenas) is the masked crimefighter Neutron, is the subject of several unsuccessful kidnap attempts pulled off by Caronte’s dwarf assistant and an army of zombies (the “death robots” of the title) and thwarted by Neutron.  It’s 70 minutes of virtually non-stop action and hilarity (outside of a couple of dull musical interludes), highlighted by the fact that Caronte is in many ways a more upstanding character than the alleged hero.  Reportedly, several Neutron adventures were sold to TV stations during the 1960s, though few seem easy to find today.  Onscreen title:  NEUTRON THE ATOMIC SUPERMAN VS. THE DEATH ROBOTS.

NEVADA SMITH (1966)--Directed by Henry Hathaway.  Stars Steve McQueen, Karl Malden, Brian Keith, Suzanne Pleshette.  McQueen stars as Max Sand, Harold Robbins' character from THE CARPETBAGGERS, a half-breed Indian out for revenge against the bandits who tortured and murdered his parents.  McQueen, 36 at the time, is at least ten, maybe fifteen years, too old for the role, and it's disconcerting to see characters call him "boy" and treat him like a teenager.  Backed by Hathaway's sturdy direction, a strong cast and an appealing episodic structure, NEVADA SMITH is an above-average western, despite McQueen's miscasting, and contains a healthy load of action filmed on location in California and Louisiana.  Cliff Potts played Sand in a 1975 TV remake.  Also with Pat Hingle, Martin Landau, Arthur Kennedy, Howard da Silva, Raf Vallone, Strother Martin, L.Q. Jones, Iron Eyes Cody and Janet Margolin.  Music by Alfred Newman.

NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983)--Directed by Irvin Kershner. Stars Sean Connery, Kim Basinger, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Barbara Carrera, Bernie Casey. Entertaining James Bond film is made even better by the return of Connery to the role that made him a superstar. More of an update than a remake of 1965's THUNDERBALL, 007 goes after Emilio Largo (Brandauer), who has stolen some nuclear missiles and buried them in an underwater bunker. Connery (with a great hairpiece) is simply smashing as Bond, Brandauer is one of the all-time best Bond villains, and Basinger and Carrera are gorgeous. Max von Sydow is Blofeld. Edward Fox (THE DAY OF THE JACKAL) is M. In an interesting bit of casting, Casey is a black Felix Leiter. Good direction by Kershner (THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK). Terrible score by Michel Legrand, the worst of any Bond film (perhaps save that of Eric Serra's for GOLDENEYE). Released the same year as OCTOPUSSY starring Roger Moore as 007.

NEVER TOO YOUNG TO DIE (1986)--Directed by Gil Bettman.  Stars John Stamos, Vanity, Gene Simmons, George Lazenby, Peter Kwong.  When you think "super spy", you naturally think of...John Stamos?  It's true--the testosterone-challenged heartthrob played the lead in this campy action movie shot before FULL HOUSE put his poster on the walls of nine-year-old girls everywhere.  Dressed in a series of pastels wimpy enough to make Don Johnson blush and sporting a poofy mullet that changes length from scene to scene, Stamos is ridiculous as Lance Stargrove, a college gymnast whose secret-agent father (Lazenby) was murdered by Ragnar (Simmons), an evil hermaphrodite who wants to poison the Los Angeles water supply.  Obviously Bettman and writer/producer Steven Paul don't intend this material to be taken seriously, but it's difficult to root against the colorful, cackling Ragnar when his adversary is such a jerk.  Thankfully Vanity as the elder Stargrove's partner is around to add sex appeal...although I can't help wondering whether Bettman intended Simmons, who's constantly parading in outfits that recall Tim Curry's Frank-N-Furter, to do that.
 
Bad movie fans will find a lot here to laugh at; besides Stamos' unconvincing tough-guy act, there's the strange homoerotic relationship with Stamos' college roommate Cliff (Kwong), an annoying Asian stereotype; goofy lapses in logic (such as Vanity's ability to withstand 400( temperatures); several sloppy continuity errors; and Vanity's unbelievable seduction of Stamos, which culminates in her disrobing and drenching herself using a garden hose while Stamos eats a peach to resist the temptation.  This is a stupid movie, but not an unentertaining one, as Bettman keeps the pace lively, and Vanity struts about in various shades of undress.  It's not difficult to understand why an R-rated action movie starring John Stamos failed to become a hit, though--who did Paul think was his target audience?  Also with Robert Englund, Tara Buckman, John Anderson and Branscombe Richmond.  Score by Lennie Niehaus.
 
THE NEW CENTURIONS (1972)--Directed by Richard Fleischer.  Stars George C. Scott, Stacy Keach.  The first film adaptation of a Joseph Wambaugh novel casts Scott as crafty veteran street cop Kilvinski and Keach as his new rookie partner Fehler.  Stirling Silliphant's episodic screenplay follows the two men over a series of months as Kilvinski teaches the youngster how to survive on the streets of Los Angeles and how to cope with the stress that comes with the job.  Effectively balancing action, drama and humor (much better than Robert Aldrich did in THE CHOIRBOYS), CENTURIONS is also aided by a splendid supporting cast, including Jane Alexander (as Keach's wife), Scott Wilson, Erik Estrada, Dolph Sweet, Clifton James, Rosalind Cash, Ed Lauter, Isabel Sanford, Carol Speed, Anne Ramsey, James B. Sikking and Roger E. Mosley.  Cinematographer Ralph Woolsey provides realistic grit to the picture, which is backed up by Quincy Jones' score.  Wambaugh turned to television, creating the anthology POLICE STORY and adapting his THE BLUE KNIGHT for William Holden (and later George Kennedy).
 
NEW CRIME CITY: LOS ANGELES 2020 A.D. (1994)--Directed by Jonathan Winfrey.  Stars Rick Rossovich, Rick Dean, Sherrie Rose, Stacy Keach.  If John Carpenter could shoot ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK in St. Louis, then I suppose Roger Corman can make his L.A.-set ripoff in Peru.  Of course, Lima looks about as much like Los Angeles as the moon, but when did verisimilitude matter to Corman?  Ricks (Rossovich) is an ex-cop sent to the gas chamber by corrupt police chief Wynorski (Keach, who oddly affects an Eastern European accent).  After a major earthquake decimated Los Angeles during the early 21st century, a large portion was fenced off with electricity and turned into a prison for the city's more unsavory individuals.  One of them, a nut who calls himself Ironhead (Dean), has developed a deadly virus and is threatening to blast a rocket containing the juice into the city, murdering millions of Los Angelenos.  Wynorski's plan is to send in Ricks, who has 48 hours to find Ironhead and capture the virus before Wynorski is forced to incinerate New Crime City with a nuclear warhead.
 
Most of the fun comes from laughing at Winfrey's attempt to pass off the scummier side of Lima as L.A., an attempt that fails especially miserably during the climax, which is set atop a skyscraper off which the "L.A." skyline is quite visible.  Winfrey's car chases are also pretty humorous, for several reasons:  1) the cars are obviously driving back and forth over the same stretch of road, 2) one car accidentally runs over and squashes a pigeon that doesn't fly out of the way in time, and 3) a speeding car that drives over a grenade miraculously transforms, via editing, into a different car that has been wrecked and parked sideways across the road before it explodes.  And wait 'til you see what passes for a launching rocket!  Still, there's a lot going on in NEW CRIME CITY, including an unusual cannibalism subplot.  Rossovich is bland but okay in the lead, but comes off as particularly colorless against the ravings of Dean (who's neither interesting nor charismatic enough to convincingly lead an army of followers) and the hard body of Rose, who drops her clothes for a nude sex scene.  Also with Denis Forest, Ric Stoneback, Ramsay Ross and a cameo by the director.  Keach, Rossovich, Rose and Winfrey all worked together again on later Concorde/New Horizons releases and on the MIKE HAMMER, PRIVATE EYE syndicated series.  Keach played more or less the same role in Carpenter's ESCAPE FROM L.A., which has an ending similar to Winfrey's.
 
THE NEW GLADIATORS (1983)--Directed by Lucio Fulci.  Stars Jared Martin, Fred Williamson, Eleonor Gold, Claudio Cassinelli.  Fulci made this futuristic SF movie several years before THE RUNNING MAN.  It's Rome in the year 2072.  The television networks entertain their increasingly bloodthirsty audience with life-and-death competition like "Killbike", a show in which the contestants race around a coliseum on souped-up motorcycles, forcing their opponents to crash and burn until only one is left alive.  However, the ratings are slipping, so the super-computer that runs the world creates a new game, "Battle of the Damned", in which convicted murderers on Death Row are selected and trained DIRTY DOZEN-style for a fight to the death.  This ragtag bunch, including Abdul (Williamson), is running a bit short in the charm department, however, so network head Cortez (Cassinelli) frames Killbike champion Drake (Martin) for the murder of his wife, ensuring Drake's participation.
 
There's some more plot about the super-computer plotting to take over the world or some such rot, but this movie is too confusing to care about.  Martin and the underused Williamson try their best, but amid such dumb dialogue and cheap special effects (the miniature used to represent Rome is especially hilarious), all that's left are the stunts and gore effects, which aren't all that exciting either.  Give Fulci credit, though, for populating the film with some gorgeous women, who, sad to say, keep all their clothes on.  Also with Al Cliver, Donald O'Brien, Al Yamanouchi and Howard Ross.  Music by Riz Ortolani.
 
NEW JACK CITY (1991)--Directed by Mario Van Peebles. Stars Wesley Snipes, Mario Van Peebles, Ice-T, Judd Nelson. Gritty throwback to '70s blaxploitation films with Snipes in a star-making Superfly-type role as a New York City druglord. Like Ron O'Neal's classic character, Snipes does glorify the life of a drug leader in that he has a gigantic fortress populated by gorgeous women smack dab in the middle of the city. However, Ice-T and Nelson are excellent as cops working under Van Peebles dedicated to wiping out Snipes's reign as dope kingpin. Good location footage of the worst sections of Harlem and the Bronx, and Van Peebles obtained a talented cast including Bill Nunn, Chris Rock (as a crack addict), John Aprea, Thalmus Rasulala and Vanessa Williams (not the former ex-Miss America).
 
THE NEW MAVERICK (1978)--Directed by Hy Averback.  Stars James Garner, Charles Frank, Jack Kelly, Eugene Roche, George Loros.  Eighteen years after Garner walked out on the television series that made him a star in a contract dispute, he was back as grifter Bret Maverick in this prospective pilot for a new show built around a "new Maverick":  young Ben (Frank), the Harvard-educated son of cousin Beau (played in the original MAVERICK series by Roger Moore).  It's 1880, and Bret rides into tiny East Las Vegas, New Mexico at the urging of a telegram sent by brother Bart (Kelly, also reprising his role), only to learn that Bart was killed the night before by an unknown gunman.  Visiting the gravesite, Bret deduces that Bart faked his own death and meets his younger second cousin, Ben, while facing down a trio of thugs who want to dig up Bart's coffin.  Later, when the same hoods commit a train robbery, resulting in a stolen cache of Army weapons with a $25,000 reward for their recovery, a broke Bret and Ben reluctantly team up to get them back.
 
Although the object of the film was to test the waters for a projected series to star Frank, it really revolves around Garner with Frank supporting him.  And as you'd expect, Garner, who was still doing THE ROCKFORD FILES at the time, is his usual affable self, whether charming a lady with cardsharp skills that match his own or reacting to trouble in typical Garner put-upon style.  Of course, it would have been nice to see Kelly in an equally forward part, but I guess three Mavericks in the forefront wouldn't leave Frank much to do.  As for the "new" Maverick, well, he's fine, possessing an easy charm and wide smile, but Frank lacks the intangible presence a series lead must have.
 
ABC certainly thought so, passing on the new MAVERICK.  However, a year later, YOUNG MAVERICK, with Frank back as Ben Maverick, premiered on CBS, only to last fewer than ten episodes.  Neither Garner nor Kelly appeared in the new show, although a script co-starring cousin Bart was commissioned (but the show was canceled before it could be filmed).  A slightly more successful revamp, BRET MAVERICK, starring Garner but not Frank or Kelly, premiered on NBC in 1981, lasting a single entertaining season, and a feature-film version, starring Mel Gibson as Bret and Garner as a marshal on his tail, was a hit in 1994.  Also with Susan Blanchard (who was Frank's wife and former costar on ALL MY CHILDREN), Susan Sullivan, Woodrow Parfrey and Jack Garner.  Music by John Rubinstein.
 
THE NEW, ORIGINAL WONDER WOMAN (1975)--Directed by Leonard Horn. Stars Lynda Carter, Lyle Waggoner. How can this update of a classic superhero that was created in the '40s be both new and original? Pilot for the semi-successful ABC-TV series was originally run in a 90-minute time slot. It tells the origin story of the star-spangled DC Comics superhero--how she was raised on Paradise Island (populated only by women), how she rescued U.S. Air Force Major Steve Trevor (a jut-jawed Waggoner) after he was shot down by Nazis, and how she won an athletic contest for the right to travel to Washington, D.C. to fight for the Allies. Written by Stanley Ralph Ross (who wrote for the '60s BATMAN), the movie can't quite decide whether it wants to be a light-hearted adventure or go all the way into camp territory (a la BATMAN). The main draw is, of course, six-foot-tall brunette Carter, who is stacked and looks dynamite in Wonder Woman's red-white-and-blue threads. She may not be any great shakes as an actress, but she is beautiful and athletic, and displays the proper amount of earnestness for the role. Also with John Randolph, Stella Stevens, Red Buttons and Eric Braeden, Kenneth Mars and Henry Gibson as Nazis. Look for Gregory "Gonzo" Harrison in a bit part. Music by Charles Fox; theme composed by Fox and Norman Gimbel ("In her satin tights...fighting for your rights....").
 
NEW YEAR’S EVIL (1980)--Directed by Emmett Alston.  Stars Roz Kelly, Kip Niven, Grant Cramer.  Want to kick off the new year with a serial killer, Pinky Tuscadero and lots of shitty new wave music? Thanks to the badasses at Cannon, namely Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus, you can.  NEW YEAR'S EVIL is a slasher movie about Blaze (Roz Kelly), a remarkably talentless (even though the movie claims otherwise) host of a network New Year's Eve special that's counting down to midnight in all four U.S. timezones while kids dance to punk and New Wave bands in the studio. Just before the ball drops in New York (the movie is set in El Lay), Blaze receives an on-air phone call from "Evil" (Kip Niven), telling her that he plans to kill someone close to her at the stroke of 12 in every timezone. The movie is so poor that this never happens; in fact, except for his first pre-call murder, Blaze knows none of his victims.
 
Director Emmett Alston, who later made the memorable George Kennedy/Bigfoot/space zombie opus DEMONWARP, attempts a red herring by having Blaze's teenage son Derek (a lousy performance by the amazingly-still-working Grant Cramer) act strangely and even wander around backstage wearing a red stocking and dark glasses on his head. Why, I don't know, because the killer's identity is no mystery, and a late twist will surprise no one.  Alston even fouls up the killings, staging them off-screen with precious little gore. Evil is one of cinema's lucky serial killers; either that or he's a master planner, because everything seems to go his way. He's aided by several stupid cops, and his first attack is predicated on knowing that his victim, a nurse, will unquestionably follow a complete stranger into a back room and have sex with him.
 
Roz Kelly was an odd choice to play the Final Girl in a slasher movie. She was almost 40 and not exactly blessed with ingenue looks. Her claim to fame was playing Fonzie's tough-chick ladyfriend Pinky Tuscadero in a handful of HAPPY DAYS episodes. Kip Niven had been around too; he may have been a Universal contract player for awhile, and he also appeared with Robert Urich and David Soul as vigilante cops in the Clint Eastwood thriller MAGNUM FORCE. You'll also see Taaffe O'Connell, next seen being raped by a slimy space worm in GALAXY OF TERROR, and a young and boobular Teri Copley, who went on to star in a couple of sitcoms and bounce around in some BATTLE OF THE NETWORK STARS competitions.
 
Cannon released NEW YEAR'S EVIL near the end of 1980. There's no telling whether anyone went to see it, although it does have a pretty good trailer that plays up the murder-per-timezone gimmick and shows the killer wearing a scary-looking Stan Laurel mask, something he barely does in the film.  There was a soundtrack album, though, on Cannon Records.  I think NEW YEAR’S EVIL and THE APPLE are the only LPs Cannon ever released.  Oh, and Niven lures one of his victims out of a crowded bar by telling her he's going to "a big party up at Erik Estrada's house". Awesome!
 
NEWMAN'S LAW (1974)--Directed by Richard T. Heffron.  Stars George Peppard, Roger Robinson, Louis Zorich, Abe Vigoda, Gordon Pinsent.  Peppard is usually dirty, grungy, bloody or a combination of the above as Los Angeles police detective Vince Newman, a tough but honest cop investigating a reputed druglord named Lo Falcone (Zorich).  After two years of coming up short on evidence, Newman finally hits paydirt when he and his partner Garry (Robinson) discover a mountain of hashish and the dead body of the nephew of Falcone's mob rival Dellanzia (Vigoda) in a house owned by Falcone.  However, the too-slick district attorney (Pinsent) refuses to prosecute the case when Newman's reputation--and potential testimony--is tarnished by a frame-up by Falcone's men.  With no longer a job or pension to risk, Newman has little to lose by bringing Falcone to justice his way.
 
NEWMAN'S LAW in many ways seems like a reward for Universal television contract players, a short-term promotion to The Big Show.  Director Heffron, screenwriter Anthony Wilson, composer Robert Prince and producer Richard Irving all had worked together and separately on several TV series and movies for Universal, including Peppard's NBC crime drama BANACEK.  Unexceptional but solid and action-packed, NEWMAN'S LAW stands out as a nice showcase for Peppard's patented tough-guy persona, positing Newman as one of a long line of loner cops who eat junk food, come home to a cluttered apartment, and live only to bring bad guys to justice.  We've seen this guy a million times, but Peppard makes him palatable to root for.  Heffron (I, THE JURY) is workmanlike but surehanded, moving the camera only when necessary and staging a few interesting action scenes, including a supermarket shootout that bears a close resemblance to one in BUSTING the same year.
 
Two things that stand out the most:  a preponderance of black actors (at one point, it's mentioned that Falcone is recruiting black henchmen), probably in an effort to pass the film off in some urban markets as blaxploitation, and a downbeat ending, which was much more common in the 1970's than it is now, but not so often in action movies at this level.  Also with Eugene Roche, Rafael Campos, Marlene Clark, Michael Lerner, Mel Stewart, Stack Pierce, David Spielberg, Kip Niven, Regis Cordic, Titos Vandis and New World starlet Pat Anderson (COVER GIRL MODELS) as a stripper.  Peppard, who was closing in on fifty years of age, never again had a big-screen hit, but did continue in television, most successfully opposite Mr. T in NBC's smash THE A-TEAM.  He also starred, produced and directed a film for Universal, FIVE DAYS FROM HOME.  Peppard died of pneumonia in 1994.
 
NEWSBREAK (2000)--Directed by Serge Rodnunsky.  Stars Michael Rooker, Robert Culp, Judge Reinhold, Noelle Parker, Kelly Miller.  Rooker stars as John McNamara, a hotshot investigative newspaper reporter who has fallen from grace after a story he wrote about a police officer involved with arson is revealed to be untrue.  Vilified by his colleagues, the police force and his influential family, including his father, Judge Patrick McNamara (Culp), John's only sympathetic shoulder belongs to Lunden (Parker), a spunky young photographer who accompanies him on his current assignment:  covering the grand opening of a new power plant built by CCS, a construction firm owned by Jake McCullers (Reinhold).  CCS is also the subject of an article being written by one of John's friends at the paper, but after the friend disappears without a trace, John takes over the investigation, along with Lunden and Linda (Miller), a beautiful reporter for a rival paper (and John's former lover).
 
There are several routine chases and stunts, but the most interesting stuff here is between Culp and Rooker--a father who may or may not be involved in a cover-up and his son, who has always upset the bloodline's status quo by doing his own thing.  Although pater and progeny don't get along, they're still family, which leads to some important, life-and-death decisions for both.  Rooker is not the most believable romantic lead, but he's fine here, as is Culp in a relatively large role for him, as he's usually stuck in throwaway cameo parts these days.  Parker adds some cute if immature comic relief, and Reinhold is properly smarmy as the heavy.  Unfortunately, NEWSBREAK looks very cheap, shot on the same colorless video as most TV dramas and cursed with a droning electronic score.  Also with Kim Darby, Greg Mullavey and Michael Spound.  Filmed in and around Los Angeles.
 
NEXT OF KIN (1989)--Directed by John Irvin.  Stars Patrick Swayze, Liam Neeson, Adam Baldwin, Helen Hunt, Andreas Katsulas, Bill Paxton.  Chicago cop Truman Gates (Swayze) finds himself on the opposite side of his own kin after mobsters murder his younger brother Gerald (Paxton).  Truman is dedicated to finding the murderer, the arrogant second-in-command (Baldwin) to kingpin John Isabella (Katsulas), but his older brother Briar (Neeson), a hillbilly from the backwoods of Kentucky, has an old-fashioned plan for vengeance.  It says something about Irish actor Neeson's talent that he comes across as more believable as a redneck than Swayze and Paxton do.  Also worth looking for are Hunt as Swayze's wife, Ben Stiller as Katsulas' son, Ted Levine and Michael J. Pollard.  Music by Jack Nitzsche.  Solidly directed by Irvin, but not as interesting as Swayze's wacko action hit ROAD HOUSE.
 
NICK CARTER, MASTER DETECTIVE (1939)--Directed by Jacques Tourneur.  Stars Walter Pidgeon, Rita Johnson, Addison Richards, Henry Hull, Donald Meek.  One of the first American features directed by noir notable Tourneur, whose subtle horror films like I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE for RKO's Val Lewton are among the genre's best.  Pidgeon stars as literary dick Nick Carter, who assumes the name Chalmers for his investigation into espionage at an airplane factory.  Despite strict security, which includes strip searches of the employees, someone is swiping plans for a new rocket plane being developed by scientist Keller (Hull).  Clocking in at just under an hour, NICK CARTER doesn't leave much room for padding, although there unfortunately is some in the form of clumsy comic relief sidekick Bartholomew (Meek).  The first half is certainly better than the second, and MGM's slightly higher budget allows Tourneur to film some nifty auto/plane chases.  Pidgeon played Carter two more times in PHANTOM RAIDERS and SKY MURDER.  Eddie Constantine played Carter in a couple of '60s French movies, and most recently Robert Conrad essayed the character in a 1972 TV-movie, THE ADVENTURES OF NICK CARTER.  Look for Frank Faylen, Milburn Stone, Sterling Holloway and Stanley Ridges among the familiar supporting cast.
 
NICK OF TIME (1995)--Directed by John Badham. Stars Johnny Depp, Christopher Walken, Marsha Mason, Charles S. Dutton. Depp turns action hero in this extremely implausible thriller, which relies on the gimmick of being filmed in real time (a la HIGH NOON). Johnny plays an ordinary guy with an ordinary young daughter who is accosted in the L.A. train station by a mysterious man (Walken), and told he has 90 minutes to kill the governor of California (Mason) or his daughter will be killed. One of the silliest aspects of the film is that Walken follows Depp all over the hotel where most of the movie takes place--often talking and even arguing him with him in front of dozens of potential witnesses--not to mention the fact that Walken is one of the creepiest and most suspicious actors around. Plot conveniences abound: Mason's husband (Peter Strauss) and security chief are part of the conspiracy (Why? Who knows?); Walken reveals his plan in front of a shoeshine man (Dutton) he mistakenly believes to be deaf (Why? Because Depp said he was, that's why.). The "real time" gimmick is interesting, but it doesn't improve the story any, and Badham's big stunt sequence is irrelevant because it occurs in a cheat scene. Also with Roma Maffia, Gloria Reuben, Bill Smitrovich and G.D. Spradlin. Music by Arthur B. Rubenstein.

NIGHT CALL NURSES (1972)--Directed by Jonathan Kaplan. Stars Patti T. Byrne, Alana Stewart, Mittie Lawrence. Acclaimed mainstream director Kaplan (THE ACCUSED) got his start making drive-in flicks for independents AIP and New World. Roger Corman served as executive producer of this amiable but not very interesting exploitation movie. At the time, Corman's New World was very successful with several movies about nurses, teachers, stewardesses, etc., a series that began with THE STUDENT NURSES and continued with SUMMER SCHOOL TEACHERS, CANDY STRIPE NURSES and several other moneymakers. Kaplan was reportedly offered $2000 to dire