Why Me All The Time?
Now Playing: HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI
Let’s face it--AIP’s BEACH PARTY series wasn’t very sophisticated or even funny most of the time, but everyone involved seems so damned cheery and energetic that it’s difficult not to get caught up in the hijinks. And so it goes with 1965's HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI, made around the time the "long-running" series (American International made about eight of these in just three years and a few imitations too) was running dry. Just don’t let the misogyny of Leo Townsend and director William Asher’s screenplay smack you on the rear end.

Frankie Avalon, busy shooting SERGEANT DEADHEAD for AIP, pops up long enough to romance sexy native Irene Tsu while serving Navy reserve duty in the South Seas. He’s paranoid about galpal Annette Funicello making time with another guy back home though, and hires witch doctor Bwana (70-year-old silent screen legend Buster Keaton) to spy on her through the eyes of a nosy pelican. For good measure, Bwana conjures zaftig redhead Beverly Adams (who married Vidal Sassoon), stuffs her into a wild bikini, and drops her onto the beach to distract smoothie Dwayne Hickman (THE MANY LOVES OF DOBIE GILLIS) from Funicello. I’m willing to bet that Annette was pregnant at the time, since she’s the only woman in the film not to appear in a bikini, and, frankly, the concept of the frumpy Funicello luring Hickman away from a bevy of frugging cuties is laughable.

In a way, these movies foreshadowed the gag-a-second approach revolutionized by AIRPLANE with their frenetic comic atmosphere. Sight gags, slapstick, chases, one-liners and “breaking the fourth wall” abound, and when someone isn’t joking or falling down, they’re singing a song. The lumpy plot also involves Adams and Hickman getting recruited for a new advertising campaign orchestrated by Mickey Rooney, as well as a surrealistic motorcycle race pitting stud Hickman against uncouth biker Eric Von Zipper (Lembeck). Asher and cinematographer Floyd Crosby masterfully squeeze as many tight bodies as they can into the widescreen image, and guest stars such as Brian Donlevy, Len Lesser (Uncle Leo!), Jody McCrea, John Ashley (soon to ditch L.A. for Manila to star and produce gory horror movies like MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND), Bobbi Shaw, Marianna Gaba, Salli Sachse and The Kingsmen keep the ball rolling. Asher’s wife Elizabeth Montgomery (BEWITCHED) even twitches in an unbilled cameo.