I went out to buy groceries today, but never made it to the store, because I stopped off to check out Family Video's "2 VHS Tapes for $3" sale. Bad idea. I left with $30 worth of tapes. The idea of these old out-of-print videos ending up in a dumpster someplace just kills me, especially considering many of these movies will likely never end up on DVD. I would hate for some obscure picture to just vanish forever, whether anybody actually wants to see it or not. Just the archivist in me, I suppose.
Here's what I got today:
BARBARIAN QUEEN and BARBARIAN QUEEN II: Lana Clarkson, the six-foot blonde allegedly shot to death by Phil Spector, gets naked and gets violent in these sword-and-sorcery cheapies lensed in Argentina by executive producer Roger Corman.
MOVING TARGET: Michael Dudikoff and Billy Dee Williams together again for the first time.
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, PART 2: The original is one of the funniest, sleaziest horror films I've ever seen. I expect this to be less entertaining, but I've heard it has some laughs.
ARMED RESPONSE: A Fred Olen Ray action movie starring David Carradine and Lee Van Cleef.
SANCTUARY OF FEAR: Made-for-TV movies from the 1970's are very rare on DVD, and it's doubtful that, regardless of its quality, this pilot for a FATHER BROWN mystery series starring Barnard Hughes as G.K. Chesterton's sleuth will ever be seen again.
NASHVILLE BEAT: Same with this TV-movie reunited ADAM-12 stars Martin Milner and Kent McCord.
BIG BAD MAMA II: Angie's body double gets busy with Robert Culp's body double, while the little girls from ARCHIE BUNKER'S PLACE and GROWING PAINS pop their tops.
STEEL DAWN: Yes, a post-apocalyptic SF/action movie starring Patrick Swayze.
FUTURE ZONE: David Carradine has a flying robot arm.
THE FIFTH FLOOR: Creepy horror about a young woman trapped with a bunch of mental patients.
EYE OF THE EAGLE: Robert Patrick goes to 'Nam in this Philippines-produced war movie.
SPACE RAGE: Michael Pare is sentenced to a desert prison planet.
CLEOPATRA JONES AND THE CASINO OF GOLD: When is this action-packed blaxploitation movie hitting DVD?
THE STRANGER AND THE GUNFIGHTER: Lee Van Cleef and Lo Lieh in a kung fu western about treasure hunters following a map tattooed on the asses of prostitutes. I saw this at the drive-in when I was about 8.
SATAN'S PRINCESS: Robert Forster + Bert I. Gordon + naked Lydie Denier should = hilarity.
THE SEDUCTION: I don't recall liking this tame '80s slasher movie, but for a few seconds of Morgan Fairchild topless, it's worth the buck-fifty.
R.O.T.O.R.: A notoriously bad killer-robot-on-the-rampage flick. I'm curious about this one.
STONE COLD: Kick fucking ass. Undercover cop Brian Bosworth vs. evil biker Lance Henriksen in a stunt-filled extravaganza by the director of I COME IN PEACE.
ROLLER BLADE: I'm also curious about this naked-chicks-on-roller-skates-post-nuke whatever-it-is.
Damn Cincinnati Bengals blew it in the first round of the NFL playoffs today, dropping 31-17 to Pittsburgh. Considering Pro Bowl quarterback Carson Palmer blew out his knee on the second damn play of the game, what else could we expect?
THE WEST WING returned to NBC tonight with its first episode since the death of actor John Spencer last month. Martin Sheen appeared at the beginning to set the stage and pay tribute to Spencer. Ironically, the episode was Spencer-centric, focusing on the upcoming Vice-Presidential debate. He was marvelous in it, as he usually was, and it's hard to believe he's gone. I still wonder how John Wells will write Spencer out of the series.
Less than three weeks to B-Fest!