This photo makes me weep. This time, we not only get an extra-close view of Chuck's, um, gusset, we also get to check out Chuck's ass. Or lack of ass. Where the hell is Chuck's booty?
I also noticed these jeans cost $30. That had to be a hell of a lotta money in 1980 or whenever this ad came out. I don't pay $30 for jeans now. Of course, I also don't get into massive karate fights with ninja, foreign spies, druglords and serial killers, so I guess I'm safe going without the special Stretch Fabric and No-Binding Technology of the slim, trim, intricately engineered Chuck Norris Action Karate Jeans.
Something funny about Chuck (and I really am a fan, you know this by now). Something Weird Video's A SCREAM IN THE STREETS DVD has several short films as extras, and one of them is an anti-crime educational film that dates back to around the mid-1970's. Among the talking heads is a pre-movie-star Chuck Norris. When someone asks Chuck what he would do if he found himself surrounded in a back alley by a gang of young muggers, he says something like, "I'd give 'em all the money I had, and if that wasn't enough, I'd ask 'em if they'd take a check." That doesn't sound to me like a person with the cool confidence of Chuck Norris Karate Jeans. I want my $29.95 back.
