Where The Hell Is Captain Chaos?
Now Playing: SPEED ZONE
By coincidence, I saw our pal Art Hindle pop up tonight as a Washington, D.C. cop in SPEED ZONE, which was conceived as CANNONBALL RUN III. Perhaps Orion had difficulties obtaining the rights to the title, but the participation of producer Albert S. Ruddy and co-star Jamie Farr as "The Sheik" practically guarantees that SPEED ZONE was intended to be a sequel to the Burt Reynolds moneymakers. The problem is that Burt and his band of merry pranksters aren't in it. Instead, it's an SCTV-ized version that features John Candy, Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty, was written by Michael Short, and was directed by Jim Drake. It's an action/comedy with dull action and little comedy. And certainly lacking the star power of the CANNONBALL films, which sparkled with names like Roger Moore, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Shirley MacLaine, Farrah Fawcett, Peter Fonda and Jackie Chan. SPEED ZONE substitutes the Smothers Brothers, Matt Frewer, Alyssa Milano, Melody Anderson, Brooke Shields, Michael Spinks, Peter Boyle, Donna Dixon, Lee Van Cleef and Tim Matheson. And, of course, Art Hindle, who drives a Lambourghini, but does not win the big race.

Candy made a lot of mediocre movies, but I don't recall him ever giving a bad performance, and even the lack of funny material and the misguided romance with Dixon (who plays her character as a Marilyn Monroe impression) look somewhat reputable in his capable hands. Frewer, as an Englishman who teams up with hitman Flaherty (who resembles his Rocco n'er-do-well from the SCTV soap THE DAYS OF THE WEEK), wrestles with an appalling accent, but plays off Flaherty well, and their scenes are probably the film's liveliest. Dick and Tom Smothers look like they're having a good time, and Brooke Shields is surprisingly competent playing herself. Not acquitting themselves as well are Levy (who's wasted), Peter Boyle (struggling with a ridiculous character) and Shari Belafonte and Melody Anderson as beautiful Ph.D's who aren't allowed to be very sexy. SPEED ZONE is also missing the daring stunt work that might have made it worthwhile for action fans. There's a lot of fast driving and cars occasionally bumping each other, but the chases exhibit less energy than the bumper car party that rolls beneath the closing crawl.

Deep Discount DVD is having a massive 20% Off sale right now, so it's a good time to catch up on some titles you've been dying to have. I received my package in the mail this week--a great deal for $67.42...and free shipping! I purchased:

DANGER: DIABOLIK (2 copies--1 for my friend Salvatore, a fan of the Italian comic)
PRIME CUT (Lee Marvin/Gene Hackman)
BREAKER! BREAKER! (Chuck Norris' first film)
AVALANCHE (a Roger Corman disaster movie with Rock Hudson, Mia Farrow and Robert Forster)
THE HAUNTING OF MORELLA (Jim Wynorski does Poe with nude scenes by Nicole Eggert, Maria Ford and Lana Clarkson)
KOJAK: SEASON ONE (who loves ya, baby?)

Looks like a big movie weekend--LAND OF THE DEAD with some Horizonites tomorrow night and BATMAN BEGINS with Csiki on Saturday. Coming up in August is Wizard World, so I need to start saving money for that, especially since we're staying for the entire three-day convention again this year.

Something For Everyone
Now Playing: DEATHDREAM

Who'da thunk it? A SUPERTRAIN fan page. I don't really remember much about SUPERTRAIN--I likely was watching whatever was on the other channels then--but I do recall the hubris surrounding it. SUPERTRAIN is one of TV's most notorious failures. It was created during Fred Silverman's reign as head of programming at NBC--a reign that plummeted the network into last place with a frighteningly lame slate of terrible shows. Not just bad shows, but expensive ones too. SUPERTRAIN, which was basically a ripoff of THE LOVE BOAT set aboard a powerfully fast passenger train, was, at the time, one of TV's most expensive shows, mostly because of the large sets and elaborate train models. It ran only ten episodes, but never more than four consecutive weeks, as NBC fiddled with the format and timeslot in an effort to perk up the ratings. You can learn more about the show--and check out some neat vintage logos and TV Guide ads--at the Web site I've linked to above. I'd like to see a SUPERTRAIN DVD box set. Gotta dig that Fred Williamson guest shot!

Over the weekend, I roadtripped to St. Louis to pick up my hot new ride--a used '94 Nissan Lumina that I bought from my brother and sister-in-law. It's got a few problems, but seems to be running and looking good so far. Monday night I ran into a bit of a problem when the sunroof opened and refused to close. After three hours of fiddling with it well into the night, Grady, Chicken and I managed to get the damn thing shut, although hell if I know how we did it. Blind luck played a big part, I think, although those guys seemed to have a good idea what they were doing. Thanks to those friends for their help, as I would definitely have been screwed without them.

Last night turned into an impromptu Crappy Movie Night when Chicken called and said he was bored. Chicken, Grady, Stiner and SuperLar and his lady came by for Michael Dudikoff Night: AMERICAN NINJA and AVENGING FORCE. NINJA is, of course, a Cannon classic that led to several sequels. It has a lot of action and a charismatic turn by the late Steve James as Dudikoff's sidekick, but FORCE is the real gem in Dudikoff's filmography. For some reason, MGM has yet to release AVENGING FORCE on DVD, but it needs to come out, especially since I only have an LP pre-record on the Video Treasures label that has been played too many times. AVENGING FORCE is a terrific movie, again co-starring James and directed by NINJA's Sam Firstenberg, who has made a lot of entertaining flicks, including AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION and BREAKIN' 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. AVENGING FORCE not only contains some crackerjack action scenes, atmospherically shot in the Louisiana swamp, but ups the suspense by creating some truly vicious bad guys for Dudikoff to fight. Led by that great ham John P. Ryan, who played the dad in the first two IT'S ALIVE pictures, the villains are racists, white slavers and child killers who totally lack a conscience. There's also one amazing stunt where Dudikoff's character is standing on the roof of a large farmhouse, is shot in the leg with an arrow, and falls off the roof onto the porch roof, bounces off and onto the unpadded ground. Firstenberg shoots it all in one continuous long shot, and I don't know how the stuntman did it without getting hurt. It's pretty spectacular. There's a lot of Dudikoff out on DVD now, but his best film, AVENGING FORCE, isn't, and neither is the very good PLATOON LEADER, a Vietnam War action pic that, I believe, is the only film directed by Aaron Norris that Aaron's brother Chuck isn't in.

For Tolemite, I recommend DEATHDREAM, a rocky low-budget horror movie filmed in Florida that features a creepy performance by Richard Backus as a zombie named Andy. He's not a standard Romero-style zombie and the character is as much a vampire as he is a zombie. Andy is an American G.I. killed in Vietnam who supernaturally returns to his hometown, seemingly just because his grief-stricken mother (played by FACES' Lynn Carlin, who later provided the voice of Richard Thomas' spaceship in BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS) wants him to. Beyond looking abnormally pale, Andy acts very strangely, not eating or sleeping, refusing to speak to anyone, and generally creeping out his family, especially after he strangles to death the family dog. His father (John Marley, also in FACES and best known as the guy who wakes up with the horse's head in THE GODFATHER, a part he parodied in an SCTV episode) is the only one who acknowledges Andy's behavior, which grows worse when he goes on a killing spree to acquire the human blood he needs to keep it together. "It" being his skin, which is in a constant state of decay and begins peeling when he needs nourishment.

Directed by Bob Clark (A CHRISTMAS STORY) and written by Alan Ormsby (CAT PEOPLE) with makeup effects by Ormsby and Tom Savini (DAWN OF THE DEAD), DEATHDREAM is a bit ragged in its cinematography, dialogue and performances, but does a nice job of presenting Andy's "illness" in both a horrific sense and as a metaphor commenting on the then-current Vietnam War. Backus wears the makeup well, looking and acting very creepy, and might have been a good choice for the role later played by Keir Dullea in Clark's BLACK CHRISTMAS, one of the best horror films of the 1970's. That isn't a criticism of Dullea, but Backus has a similar look and placidity to his acting.

LAND OF THE DEAD opens this weekend, which I'm looking forward to, but if you're interested in a more low-key zombie movie that focuses more on its message than on action, DEATHDREAM is an interesting picture that has been well-served on DVD from Blue Underground, who graces the disc with two commentary tracks (one by Clark, which I didn't listen to, and an informative one by Ormsby), new interviews, a trailer, deleted scenes, a poster and still gallery and more. An excellent presentation of a relatively obscure film that deserves to be more widely seen.

More Norris Gooch

This photo makes me weep. This time, we not only get an extra-close view of Chuck's, um, gusset, we also get to check out Chuck's ass. Or lack of ass. Where the hell is Chuck's booty?

I also noticed these jeans cost $30. That had to be a hell of a lotta money in 1980 or whenever this ad came out. I don't pay $30 for jeans now. Of course, I also don't get into massive karate fights with ninja, foreign spies, druglords and serial killers, so I guess I'm safe going without the special Stretch Fabric and No-Binding Technology of the slim, trim, intricately engineered Chuck Norris Action Karate Jeans.

Something funny about Chuck (and I really am a fan, you know this by now). Something Weird Video's A SCREAM IN THE STREETS DVD has several short films as extras, and one of them is an anti-crime educational film that dates back to around the mid-1970's. Among the talking heads is a pre-movie-star Chuck Norris. When someone asks Chuck what he would do if he found himself surrounded in a back alley by a gang of young muggers, he says something like, "I'd give 'em all the money I had, and if that wasn't enough, I'd ask 'em if they'd take a check." That doesn't sound to me like a person with the cool confidence of Chuck Norris Karate Jeans. I want my $29.95 back.

Believe It Or Not, I'm Starring With Snakes
Now Playing: SNAKE ISLAND
Went over to the Cohens for a little while last night for a crappy movie that dialed up On Demand. Hey, you know me, the words "crappy movie" trigger a Pavlovian response in me, and I'll go just about anywhere. Especially when it's something about killer snakes that stars The Greatest American Hero and Jake Speed.

Of course, William Katt was THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO on ABC during the early 1980's, and JAKE SPEED is the title of a terrible RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK ripoff that I actually saw theatrically upon its mid-'80s release. Besides featuring the most embarrassing role of John Hurt's career as the fey villain, JAKE starred an actor and producer of low-budget exploitation movies named Wayne Crawford. I saw it again about a year ago, and it's still bad. But not bad enough to keep me away from SNAKE ISLAND.

As long as a film shows me something I’ve never seen before, I’m usually content. But I certainly wasn’t prepared for what SNAKE ISLAND writer/producer/director/star Crawford tossed at me--talking snakes. Wait, let me amend that--singing, talking snakes. Granted, it only happens in a dream sequence, but the scene where a woman awakens to find a pair of reptiles swaying to the sounds of their own singing, complete with animated lip-synching, left me a little slack-jawed. Incongruous, ridiculous and just plain stupid, at least the scene is memorable, which is more than one can say for the rest of the film.

A bunch of tourists, on their way by boat to a resort along a South African river, stop off for a moment at the abandoned Snake Island resort to drop off Malcolm Page (Katt, who looks a lot like Bruce Davison these days), an author researching a horror novel. The boat conks out, however, and the entire party, led by grizzled guide Jake (Crawford), has to spend the night there. I don’t know how anyone could relax at a place called Snake Island, where seemingly thousands of slithering killers lurk in every tree, patch of grass and corner, but the party has little problem drinking, showering, sleeping and having sex. That is, until the pissed-off little snakes, which are somehow versed in the concept of revenge, start chomping on them.

Crawford, who has been writing, producing and appearing in junky exploitation films since the ‘70s, delivers the goods as well as he can, even throwing in a gratuitous striptease to assure an R rating. He and Katt share the hero honors, although neither of them takes their job--or the project--very seriously. But, then again, how could they? The snake effects are pretty bad, usually alternating between obvious CGI and rubbery fakes on strings. And it was good to see Kate Connor again. She played the hottie Army rocket scientist in porn-movie-librarian spectacles and a short skirt in the terrific U.S. SEALS II and happily provides eye candy in SNAKE ISLAND, along with Dawn Matthews (who does the nude dancing and showering) and Nicola Hanekom as Jake’s estranged wife.

The Art Of Acting
Spurred, I think, by my recent review of THE OCTAGON, my friend Rob has lately been corresponding with actor Art Hindle, a very busy Canadian who appeared in that film as A.J., the best friend of Chuck Norris‘ character. Two things that distinguish Hindle in THE OCTAGON: 1) his fluffy mane of feathered hair that threatens to steal all of his scenes and 2) he plays a badass karate champion, yet not once do we see him do any karate. Even further, when he attempts to invade a secret terrorist training camp run by killer ninja, he is captured in about 0.46 seconds, leaving it up to Chuck to try to save his ass.

Hindle has actually had a pretty interesting career that dates at least as far back as 1971, when he began appearing in Canadian features and TV shows. One of his early films, FACE-OFF, was honored with its own SCTV parody with John Candy playing “Hindle”. Of course, anyone who grew up watching as much American television as I did in the 1970’s and early ‘80s knows Hindle’s face for sure, if not his name. He guest-starred in many popular TV series, like BARNABY JONES and STARSKY & HUTCH (in that first-season episode, now available on DVD, he played an “evil twin” of Starsky and Hutch’s old buddy), but my brother and I really remember him from the obscure THE POWER WITHIN, a TV-movie where he played a test pilot who was struck by lightning and gained superpowers. It was obviously meant to be a pilot, but the series didn’t sell, and Hindle continued bouncing back and forth between his native Canada (where he starred in David Cronenberg’s THE BROOD) and the U.S., working in both features and television.

He might not want to admit it, but his biggest success was probably PORKY’S, a notorious teen sex comedy that hit theaters in 1982 and went on to become one of the most profitable independent films ever made. Everybody of my age group saw PORKY’S--usually more than once--and Hindle had a nice role in this Canadian sleeper as a police officer. He had already worked for director Bob Clark in the fabulously chilly horror film BLACK CHRISTMAS (in which he steals almost every scene he’s in, thanks to the magnificent black fur coat he’s wearing that makes him look as though he’s being mauled by a grizzly bear) and was rewarded with an even larger part in Clark’s PORKY’S II: THE NEXT DAY, an interesting failure that bounces back and forth uncomfortably between raunchy sex hijinks and serious racial themes. To be fair, the first PORKY’S dealt with anti-Semitism, but the message is more pronounced in the sequel, which, to its credit, attempts to be a stupid sex comedy about Something.

Another Hindle picture that has stuck with me, due to seeing it on HBO 493 times, is RAW COURAGE, an effective little thriller written by its star, Ronny Cox (BEVERLY HILLS COP), in which he and Hindle are a couple of fitness freaks running across the desert who become targets for a white survivalist army led by M. Emmet Walsh (MISSING IN ACTION). Yeah, it’s basically THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME, but Cox and Hindle do a fine job playing their roles as Everymen caught up in an extraordinary life-and-death scenario.

You should be happy to hear that Art is as busy as ever, mainly in Canada. I most recently saw him in BLACK HORIZON, a direct-to-video thriller directed by Fred Olen Ray (who loves working with older stars) and starring Michael Dudikoff. He had some juicy scenes as a sinister senator who could care less that his niece is one of a handful of astronauts and cosmonauts stranded on a space station.

And you know what? He still has damn good hair.

Can One Man Make A Difference?
Now Playing: DIRECT ACTION
(2004)--Directed by Sidney J. Furie. Stars Dolph Lundgren, Polly Shannon, Conrad Dunn. He may be pushing 50, but direct-to-video action king Lundgren is still capable of belting bad guys as well as just about anyone. His recent work looks even more impressive when you put it up against the DTV films being made by his butt-kicking contemporaries Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal. Unlike Seagal, who has grown as lazy as he has fat in his middle age, and Van Damme, whose ego has reportedly scared talented filmmakers away from working with him, Lundgren has actually improved with age, growing into a relaxed, comfortable screen performer with great presence.

Working with veteran Sidney J. Furie may have something to do with that. The 72-year-old filmmaker has directed some of Hollywood’s biggest stars--from Frank Sinatra and Michael Caine to Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman. Never a highly acclaimed director, Furie has proven himself to be a talented craftsman who has helmed popular action favorites like THE IPCRESS FILE, IRON EAGLE, THE ENTITY and THE BOYS IN COMPANY C. Yeah, okay, he also made SUPERMAN IV, but we’ll blame Golan and Globus for that one. Furie might have to take the hit on GABLE AND LOMBARD, however.

During the 1990’s, Furie became virtually the only director of his era to segue comfortably into episodic television and direct-to-video features, pumping out one or two films per year. Some of them, like THE RAGE with Lorenzo Lamas and Roy Scheider, have been quite good. His first collaboration with Lundgren, 2003’s DETENTION, was Dolph’s first movie since returning from a shortlived retirement. They must have enjoyed making it in Hamilton, Ontario, because they returned for this Nu Image crime drama.

In DIRECT ACTION, Lundgren is Frank Gannon, an Ohio (though the Ontario license plates give away the illusion) police detective assigned to the Direct Action Unit, which takes the most dangerous cases. At 5:00pm, Frank plans to testify before a grand jury about the massive level of corruption and murder in his unit, which leads all the way up to his boss, Captain Stone (Dunn). Almost all of Gannon’s fellow officers appear to be dirty, as they attempt to prevent him from reaching the courthouse by threatening his life and framing him for multiple cop killings. Partnered with a female rookie (busy Canadian actress Shannon) on her first day on the job, Frank runs the gauntlet of automatic weapons and screeching tires, risking his career and his life to do the right thing.

Furie’s $7 million budget is a pitfall, since he could have used some extra dough for bigger chases and more stunts. The actors shoot off a lot of blanks, but the action is mostly held to some decent martial-arts fight scenes, a lot of shootouts and one exploding van. The action sequences may be medium-scale, but Furie does at least stage a lot of them, fluidly and accompanied by Adam Norden’s energetic score. Lundgren is still in good shape, and has no problem projecting believability as he snaps limbs and thumps heads. He and Shannon have good chemistry, but thankfully avoid a superfluous romance (especially considering the whole film takes place during one day).

DIRECT ACTION is no classic, no matter how hard it attempts to remind you of SERPICO (one character is even made up to resemble Al Pacino in that Sidney Lumet drama), but it is a well-made, straightforward action movie that doesn’t try to bop you over the head with extraneous camera movement, gimmicky editing and loud music. Greg Mellott’s screenplay is routine, but decades of experience have taught Furie how to spice up routine material, turning DIRECT ACTION into capable entertainment. Furie and Lundgren planned to make a third film together, THE DEFENDER, but illness forced the director to drop out, leaving it to Dolph to make his directorial debut.

The World Of Forensic Medicine
QUINCY buff (and Forrest Tucker fan extraordinare) Hal Horn posted this in the Comments section:

Great review, Marty. This was one of my favorite shows growing up, though I appreciate it on a much different level as an adult. As you know from an earlier post, I appreciate the almost BATMAN-like camp value of latter-day QUINCY M.E. more than the superb early episodes, but I definitely plan to give the new boxed set a look.

The first 3 seasons are really good TV IMO: only occasionally preachy, and with many wild, twisting mysteries to be sorted out. Really good stuff from about episode 1 to 50 or so, with Klugman in top form.

Around 55 episodes in (about the middle of the 1978-79 season) QUINCY M.E. gets preachier, and much campier, almost becoming another DRAGNET '67...and Klugman becomes a superhero of sorts, whose ability to land younger women rivals Paul Kersey's. Needless to say, I'm really, really waiting on the boxed sets of seasons 5 through 8.

My favorite Quincy comedy moments (I know you mentioned the Ninjas episode in an earlier thread):
1) "Next Stop Nowhere"; the infamous Punk Rock episode, and every bit as hilarious as its reputation. Defies description.
2) "Bitter Pill"; classic scene: after about the third time a kid OD's from "lookalike" drugs, Quincy abandons trying to close the local head shop by legal means, and just marches in and starts demolishing the place with his bare hands! Priceless! Guest baddie is Simon Oakland.
3) "Never a Child" and a few others: the police just stand around, while the Big Q apprehends the child molester/murderer/etc. and brings him in. Monahan and Co. give Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara a run for their money in the "incompetence" category. I didn't realize this was the case as far back as episode 1 though! Maybe I should watch these early ones again....

I still see the crusader daily via Channel 52 locally here, and I'm in the process of completing seasons 5 through 8, my favorites. Any favorite specific episodes?

As I recall, bad QUINCY is almost as entertaining as good QUINCY, but on an entirely different level. The ninja episode Hal refers to has Quincy investigating a murder that was performed using an ancient Asian death touch called dim mak or something like that. As always, he brings trouble upon himself by getting right in the murderer's face with his suspicions, earning him a visit that night from some ninja who kick Quincy's ass. I'll never forget hearing my brother yelling at me from a different room, "Get in here now! Ninjas are kicking Quincy's ass!", which is on a list of classic non sequiturs.

I haven't seen any of these QUINCYs in years, so I may have some details wrong, but there's another episode where Quincy forces a confession from a killer by dangling a rattlesnake in front of his face. I wonder if the defense attorney had any problem getting that admission tossed out of court!

Good to hear that the cops in the Quincyverse never get any smarter, although the show would have had to go off the air if they had. In the premiere, Quincy produces scientific evidence that proves that the suspect in police custody could not possibly have committed the murder, but Lt. Monahan just blows him off ("Get outta here, Quincy, I got work to do!").

Who's The Second Happiest Man In Los Angeles?
Now Playing: QUINCY, M.E.
Phil Spector, that's who. How worried do you think he is about his upcoming murder trial in the death of BARBARIAN QUEEN star Lana Clarkson? After O.J. and Bobby Blake and now Michael Jackson, how much evidence does a jury need to put these guys behind bars? In all three cases, the physical evidence was overwhelming (good grief, O.J. even left his own blood behind at the crime scene), but the L.A. jurors let the defendants walk anyway. Of course, these are the same star-struck morons that voted Arnold Schwarzeneggar as their new governor, a Chief Executive whose approval rating is lower and job performance worse than the guy he replaced, Gray Davis.

Speaking of murder, I caught last week's premiere of THE INSIDE, a new crime drama on the Fox network. Yeah, like the networks need another police procedural. Remember PROFILER, which hung around NBC's Saturday night schedule for several seasons in the late 1990's? Well, THE INSIDE is the exact same show, except with younger stars. You've got the young hottie with the "gift" for solving serial murders, the older male authority figure, the wisecracking and slightly less attractive woman sidekick, and the young male hottie for that oh-so-boring sexual tension. Add some creepy music stings, opening titles that rip off SE7EN, plenty of gory crime scenes, and you have PROFILER 2, now titled THE INSIDE. I have no idea what "The Inside" is; the pilot, written and directed by Tim Minear, neglected to mention that.

This ludicrously cast series is impossible to take seriously as long as 25-year-old model Rachel Nichols is its star. She's 25, but looks 17, and was, in fact, cast when the series' original premise was about an FBI agent going undercover as a high school student to fight crime. Nichols might have pulled that off, but when Minear took over the series and insisted on changing the format, he was reportedly forced by Fox to keep her on as the star. Prancing about in lip gloss and a constantly placid expression on her face, Nichols is about as believable as an FBI field agent as I would be in THE MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV STORY. Peter Coyote is authoritative as her boss, I suppose, but the show seems to be titled towards making him some sort of shadowy antagonist whose motives in the manner in which he treats the agents under his command are a little shady. Coyote plays a great asshole, however, as does Adam Baldwin as one of Nichols' partners, a wiseass named Danny Love.

The premiere of THE INSIDE finished fourth in its time slot, well behind a ballroom dancing show (!) and reruns (of YES, DEAR!), meaning you'll likely have little time to get into THE INSIDE before Fox cancels it.

I finished the GREATEST AMERICAN HERO Season Two set tonight with "Lilacs, Mr. Maxwell", an extraordinary episode written and directed by its costar, Robert Culp. It's a mature, sensitive look at the emotional side of FBI agent Bill Maxwell (Culp), who we usually see as the stubborn, gung-ho, impersonal partner of supersuited crimefighter Ralph Hinkley (William Katt). In the second-season finale, Maxwell becomes smitten with an efficiency expert (portrayed by DESIGNING WOMEN's Dixie Carter) who turns out to be a KGB assassin ordered to kill him. It's not unlike the teleplays Culp turned out for his I SPY series in the mid-1960's in its attention to the gray areas surrounding honor among spies and duty to one's country. He manages to capture the series' inherent humor and adventure, but adds a dramatic angle unusual to the show, closing with a freeze-frame certain to leave a lump in your throat. I can't wait for the third (and final) season coming from Anchor Bay this summer.

With GAH back on the shelf, I opened Universal's new QUINCY, M.E. box set, which consists of 16 episodes from the first two seasons. QUINCY actually began as a spoke of THE NBC SUNDAY MYSTERY MOVIE, but after four feature-length episodes, proved popular enough to earn its own regular one-hour weekly timeslot, the only MYSTERY MOVIE series to do so.

Universal bills QUINCY as the "Original Crime Scene Investigator", and even though the C.S.I. franchises may not have existed without it, it's closer in its premise to CROSSING JORDAN. Jack Klugman stars as Quincy (first name unknown, even at the end of its seven-season run), a Los Angeles coroner unable to half-ass anything, turning up murders, coverups and police and political corruption and intrigue at an alarming frequency. As the series wore on, QUINCY moved away somewhat from standard mystery plots towards an "issue of the week" premise, as Quincy began examining social issues between murders. This was due to the painstaking day-to-day involvement of Klugman, who became notorious for battling network executives and firing writers and producers whom he felt weren't living up to the high standards he set for his show.

In the premiere, "Go Fight City Hall...To the Death", Quincy investigates the rape/murder of a young woman and ties it into the apparent suicide of her former boss and the apparent accidental death of a former co-worker six months earlier. One of the episode's weaknesses is the obvious incompetence of the police force, represented by Lt. Monahan (Garry Walberg, Speed in Klugman's THE ODD COUPLE series), who refuses to accept medical facts as evidence for the sake of expedience; Monahan's got a suspect in custody, and so what if Quincy's examination of the corpse proves the guy didn't do it.

The success of the series rested firmly on Klugman's shoulders, and he was more than up to the task. Let me be clear--Jack Klugman is a great actor. All you'd have to do to be convinced is to watch any of the four TWILIGHT ZONE episodes he did, including "In Praise for Pip", where he plays a lonely trumpet player, and "A Game of Pool", which pitted him against billiard shark Jonathan Winters. He also held his own in one of cinema's great dramas, 12 ANGRY MEN, against Henry Fonda and major stage stars like Jack Warden, Lee J. Cobb and Ed Begley. In the ten-year period between 1971 and 1980, he was nominated for an Emmy award nine times (five for THE ODD COUPLE, four for QUINCY, M.E.), winning twice (in addition to his 1964 Emmy for a DEFENDERS guest shot).

I won't get into the brilliance of THE ODD COUPLE now, but suffice to say that Klugman is great fun to watch as crusading coroner Quincy. Yeah, sometimes he goes a bit over the top and makes the character too abrasive and bullheaded, but that's part of the fun, seeing Quincy take on the Establishment singlehandedly and usually kicking its ass.

Plus, Klugman's exuberance inspired the wonderful SCTV parody QUINCY, CARTOON CORONER with Joe Flaherty's dead-on impersonation, in which Quincy's examination of Sylvester's flattened corpse sparks an investigation of Tweety.

I'm Buying Hooker In August

Wowee wow! I'm very impressed by this cover art. Sony this week released a sneak peek at the box art for T.J. HOOKER: THE COMPLETE 1ST AND 2ND SEASONS, which will hit stores August 9. Poor Jimmy Darren got left out--it must hurt to have less name recognition than Adrian (DANCE FEVER) Zmed--but the colors, the logo, the photos and the design of this box are really great. It's gonna look great on my shelf, that's for sure. The set features all 26 episodes from the first two seasons, including the complete 90-minute pilot. TV promos for each episode are expected to comprise the extras; come on, Sony, you couldn't get these actors to do commentaries?

For everything T.J. HOOKER and more, check out 4Adam30's bitchin' HOOKER site.

Potpourri
Not much to report today, and not much time in which to do it, but I imagine I'll be too busy to post much over the weekend. Tolemite is coming to town tonight for a weekend of eating meat, drinking frosty Red Can, slurping Pop-Ice, and watching Crappy Movies. We're also planning to hit my company's picnic tomorrow, party with the Cohens' foosball table Saturday night, and plow our way through the dusty Gordyville flea market on Sunday. Doesn't leave me much time to scope women; maybe Cheeseburger and Shark Hunter can lure some over to the mighty grilling-and-foosball bash.

I have just about finished Season Two of THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO. Considering I haven't seen most of these episodes in more than 20 years, I'm surprised how familiar they seem. I guess they affected my young self more than I considered. I'm also relieved to see that, not only do they hold up all these years later (so many shows I liked as a kid positively suck now, i.e. CHARLIE'S ANGELS and WELCOME BACK, KOTTER), but they remain fairly consistent in quality. There are one or two clunkers in the second season, but for the most part, the shows are remarkably likable, and the second half of the season found the cast clicking together better than ever. I have only two more episodes to watch. One I recall vividly because of its catchy coming-attractions teaser ("Who? Woo? Woo. Woo who?") that won't be on the disc. The other was written and directed by costar Robert Culp, and is a remarkably mature, offbeat examination of his hard-bitten FBI character.

Culp was an interesting director who, unfortunately, didn't do enough of it. If you pick up Volumes 20 and 21 of Image's I SPY DVD collection, you'll hear some wonderfully complete and candid audio commentary tracks by Culp over the episodes that he wrote and sometimes directed. They're not only a nifty lesson in writing and directing television episodes, particularly shows that break the series' regular format, but also an excellent history lesson about I SPY--its genesis, casting, locations, production schedule and Culp's relationship with costar Bill Cosby.

Culp made only one feature as a director, 1972's HICKEY & BOGGS, which was released by United Artists, a studio known at one time for being artist-friendly. HICKEY is an interesting attempt at film noir reuniting Culp and Cosby as down-and-out private eyes looking for a missing girl and $400,000 from a botched bank robbery. The screenplay by Walter Hill (later a renowned director of terrific action films like THE WARRIORS, 48 HRS. and EXTREME PREJUDICE) is confusing and disjointed, but there's some good use of grotty Los Angeles locations, and Culp handles the action sequences well. The emphasis is on the squalid dicks portrayed by Culp and Cosby, very nihilistic losers trying to make a buck, and the atmosphere of a dusty Los Angeles out to kick the ass of a hopeful future, but the violence quotient is high for a PG features, including exciting shootouts in the L.A. Coliseum and the Dodger Stadium parking lot. Culp and Cosby eschew their familiar hip, wisecracking I SPY personas for seedier personalities, but the chemistry between them still remains. I doubt if this was a box-office hit during its original release--I SPY fans probably found it too downbeat--and it isn't easy to find today (this needs a legit DVD release badly), but fans of the private eye genre should keep an eye out for this one. Young Michael Moriarty and James Woods appear in small roles, and other familar supporting faces belong to Robert Mandan, Jack Colvin, Ed Lauter, Bill Hickman, Roger E. Mosley, Lou Frizzell and Isabel Sanford.